Chapter Twelve - Mrs Kim Gets Her Groove Back

Mrs Kim couldn't bring herself to open her shop the next day. She didn't even want to play the tambourine or write God fanfiction. She was just sitting there, lost in her thoughts, going through the events of the last week. What had she missed? Who could have done it? She'd been through everyone she knew, not to mention lots of complete strangers.

Now everyone knew she'd failed to find the perpetrator. The Troubadour was no doubt singing songs about it. She had let down the whole of Kimkind.

No. She couldn't fail. Mrs Kim wasn't a quitter. She said a prayer, asking for guidance, and suddenly a bolt of inspiration struck her.

"Pig dog must pay!" she announced as she headed off to Yale.

Rory was in the Yale Daily News offices, when suddenly she found Mrs Kim standing next to her.

"Mrs Kim?" she said.

"Hello, Rory, I'm here to find bad person."

"Bad person?" Rory asked.

"Yes, someone broke not bought. At first, I thought it might be someone I knew. Some criminal mastermind, or even Kirk."

"Grandma told me you accused her," said Rory.

"Yes, Rory, but I was mistaken. It not your grandmother. Emily-San is honorable. No, it can't be anyone I know."

"So, it was just an accident?"

"I doubt it, Rory. I suspect filth play. I ask everyone staying in Stars Hollow that day if they did it. They all say no, and my kimchi-cleansed gut tells me they don't lie. That means that someone just came to Stars Hollow for day, did it deliberately."

"But who would do such a thing? Especially after the kimchi incident."

Mrs Kim almost smiled. "It must either be a fool, or someone willing to risk everything. Someone who want buzz, as if writing God fanfiction."

Rory looked at her, confusion on her face. "I'm sorry, Mrs Kim, but I don't know how I can help you."

"But you can," said Mrs Kim. "Lorelai always talks about you, even when I pretend not to listen. She once mentioned a club you were investigating, where members would do foolhardy feats, stupid stunts. Yes, I talk about the Living Dead Brigade."

"The Life and Death Brigade?" said Rory. "Why would they do that?"

"Do you ever tell them about me?" asked Mrs Kim.

Rory blushed. "Okay, I'll give you their names, although most of them have graduated."

An hour had passed, and the list that Rory gave Mrs Kim was quickly running out of names, crossed out as Mrs Kim cross-interrogated them.

As she knocked on the final door, she worried that once again her search was going to prove fruitless, but then she heard the voice behind the door:

"Come on in, Mrs Kim. I've been expecting you."

Mrs Kim opened the door, and saw her adversary sitting there, on a chair, stroking an antique vase. It reminded Mrs Kim of a silly dream that Lorelai had once insisted on telling her about.

"So, Juliet," said Mrs Kim, for that was the name of her new arch-nemesis. "It appears we finally meet."

"Yes, sorry about the vase. Once the Life and Death Brigade wound down, I just missed the rush. And then I remembered the stories Rory would tell about you, and that 'you break, you buy' impression she'd do of you."

"I understand," said Mrs Kim. "Once an idiot, always an idiot."

"I'm sorry," said Juliet, looking down to the object of her stroking. "I got you this new expensive vase, to make up for it."

"You really think that make up for trauma you put me through?" asked Mrs Kim. "I don't want your vase."

"So what do you want?" asked Juliet, suddenly afraid, remembering Rory's tales of Mrs Kim probably being a ninja.

"Twenty dollar," said Mrs Kim. "That was price of vase in shop."

"Just twenty dollars? After all the money you spent travelling around? Logan tweeted about you haunting him in London."

"Just the twenty. It's a matter of honor," said Mrs Kim. "It's not about money."

Juliet put her vase down, and looked in her pockets. Finally she pulled out a twenty dollar bill. "Here you go."

Mrs Kim took the money. "Thank you. I'm glad we sort this out. Now be good girl. No more living dead stuff."

"Thanks for the advice," said a bemused Juliet, as Mrs Kim made her way out.

As the door closed, Juliet turned away, shadows falling across her face.

"This isn't the end, Mrs Kim. Far from it."

A phone rang at Kirk Gleason's house, and almost immediately a hand picked up that phone.

"Juliet? I told you never to ring me here… So, Mrs Kim believed you were the criminal mastermind? Great, she doesn't suspect me. More importantly, she won't be ready for stage two of my plan... What's that you say? Oh yes, very droll. Yes, it is indeed a lulu."

THE END

MRS KIM WILL RETURN