Chapter LXXXVIII – Ideals

It was… empty.

Dismal.

Dead.

Everywhere they looked, it was just… barren and alien. As if the strange emptiness seeped in.

It wasn't the landscape alone. There were structures, there were… things that looked like vegetation, though very dead vegetation. There was life. Unlife. There were souls, wandering around in the distance. There was magic. There were fractures in crackled ground emitting bright purple lights, dead twisted trees with a soft glow underneath them. It wasn't empty.

But the feeling was almost overwhelming. It felt empty.

Serana and Isran walked into the portal together, side by side, down the strange stone steps. Those steps continued down while the portal loomed above them. And down below was all that. From up high like this, they could see a dark stone wall spanning through the area with absolutely no end in sight. There was a large building in the distance, almost like a castle. Its tall spires weren't pointed like Volkihar. Instead, there were more bright purple lights with dark stones swirling around them. There were plenty of structures like this, though that one seemed the largest.

At least from what they could see. How long did this plane span for? The land was flat, but it just… kept going, on and on. There was no end. Serana wasn't sure how they were supposed to find her mother here. Would she have stayed close to the portal or would she be more cautious and stay at the other end of this plane? Or however far she could.

How did she survive here? It was not just about the dangers, surely. What did she eat? Drink? Where did she get blood? This place was not for the living. Not for mortals. Yet vampires were too… human. They had needs, even in their immortality.

Was there anything to take care of those needs?

Or did she make deals with higher beings? Serana wouldn't put it past her. It was not a new territory for her by far.

It was getting a little too real. They were really here. She would likely see her mother soon.

She kept concentrating on the Scroll and the prophecy. She kept pushing that fact further and further into the back of her mind. There were important things to focus on. She could not just… postpone trying to stop her father because she might not be ready to see her mother.

It was strange. They used to be… close. She taught Serana so much. She prepared her for so much. But then she left.

And years went by and everything was… muddled.

"Serana?"

She was almost surprised to hear Isran's voice by her side. She forgot all about the strange world around her for a moment as she got lost in her thoughts.

"Are you ready?" He looked at her with some measure of concern.

No.

"Yes. Of course," she nodded. They shouldn't really dawdle here, right?

She didn't wait for him to ask if she's sure. She knew he would. He always did when she got lost in her thoughts. She promptly descended the stone steps until she set foot on the crackled ground below.

"Do you know more about this place? What exactly might we find here?" Isran asked.

My mother.

"Daedra, as on any plane of Oblivion. I understand that these are a little different. They are mostly reminiscent of the undead. They are not undead, however. There are no dead here to be raised. They are creatures of Oblivion like any other Daedra," she explained. "That… doesn't mean those can't be raised over and over again, however. The Ideal Masters are said to be the source of immense necromantic power."

"So… we may be dealing with enemies that keep getting up?" Isran scowled.

"I do not know," she sighed. She had no details for him, unfortunately.

"They rise around the Masters." Suddenly a voice interrupted their discussion. Serana and Isran looked to the source promptly. A soul. A bald Dunmer with an eye patch and countless rings in his pointed ears, shining with the dark light that seemed to be seeping through everything here. The souls here did not look like ghosts on Nirn did. They kind of looked… almost black.

"What do you mean?" Isran raised his brow at the ethereal Dunmer who caught them off guard.

"I learned a trick. That's what I do. You spot a weakness. That's how you become the best hunter you can be," the soul smirked at them. "The Masters don't bother raising their creations. It's a latent power. Like a… necromantic aura. Lead the creatures far enough from the Masters and they won't rise again."

"So… the Masters are…?" Isran prodded again.

"Crystals. Gems. Giant ones. At least that's what the others called them when I got here," the man pointed towards the large wall down the… road. "You'll see them. I don't think it's the Masters though," he shook his head. "Conduits of their power, maybe. At least parts of it."

Serana and Isran looked around. They spotted some large floating crystals when they were by the portal, but now they couldn't see any. And from the direction of the soul's gaze, they were mostly behind that wall.

If those were really the Ideal Masters, it was best to stay away from them anyway, for Isran's sake. Just in case.

"How long have you been here?" Serana asked the man. It could have been a long time when he learned how to deal with the Daedra.

"It feels like… millennia," he sighed mournfully. "So long, yet I still remember my life so vividly. Everyone here does. Some call it a blessing, reliving the old memories. Some call it a curse, never being able to… go back."

Millennia. Here. That was… bone-chilling.

"You are mortals. Well… one of you is," the Dunmer noted as he looked at Serana a bit suspiciously. "How did you get here?"

"Through that portal," Isran pointed upwards into the strange purple sky, devoid of anything but the occasional charge of strange magic flickering through.

"I… do not see a portal," the soul scowled, looking into the direction where Isran was pointing.

Strange. Could the souls not see the way out? Perhaps the Ideal Masters had the power to prevent that. Serana had no idea.

"There is no escape. I am not surprised," the man shook his head regretfully, but he kept looking towards the sky to see the portal. After a while, he focused again on Serana and Isran. "Tell me, how much time has passed?"

"When did you die?" Serana asked. It was impossible to answer without knowing that. Could it really be millennia?

"I was in Cyrodiil. I… should have never gone… it was a mistake to leave," he scowled at himself. "Kvatch. I wrote a letter to my Callise and was going to leave the next day. Go home to Vvardenfell. But the next day… the gates opened. There was chaos. So many Daedra. I don't remember who killed me. And why I ended up here."

"Kvatch? You were there at the start of the Crisis?" Serana's eyes widened. He said it felt like 'millennia'. It was not 'millennia'. "That was two hundred years ago." As long as she'd been entombed. Time must have passed differently here.

That was concerning, when she thought about the souls trapped here forever. It was a little comforting to know that they wouldn't spend as much time here as it would seem.

"That's… I did not know that," he scowled a bit. "Is it worth regretting? Does it matter how time passes out there when I await an eternity here?"

That was a good question. What did it matter how long it felt when it would take eternity regardless?

"Tell me, please, do the people still remember me? Saint Jiub. The one who eradicated the winged menace in all of Vvardenfell."

"I… I was entombed shortly after you died," Serana admitted. "I only woke up recently. I'm sorry."

"You are remembered," Isran smiled instead. Serana had no idea if he was lying or not. He could just be saying that to reassure the man. "A great hero. It's an honor."

"Thank you, my Redguard friend," the man suddenly lit up. Not literally. His smile lit up. "I will make sure that I am a hero to the souls here as well. I will protect them from the Daedra for eternity."

Could he fight them? Perhaps so, by the way he spoke.

"We wish you luck. And thank you for the information," Isran nodded amicably. The man was helpful, but there was still one thing they needed to know and didn't. There was no harm in asking, was there?

"Have you seen a vampire here? A Nord. Dark hair, similar to mine," Serana questioned, but the soul promptly interrupted her.

"You don't need to continue. I know of her. She'd been here before me. I was told by the other souls not to approach her. She… affects us. Sends us against the Keepers. Death… feels strange here. Like being… consumed by something terrifying. And then you're still here," he explained.

"'Keepers'?" Serana scowled. Her mother was sending souls to their 'deaths' in this place? Why?

"She is… imprisoned. The Keepers keep her contained, unable to leave her prison. The Masters want it that way," Jiub noted. "I don't know why. I don't know if anyone does. Just… don't listen to her. Don't look at her. She will try to have you kill the Keepers too."

So… she wasn't here all this time by choice? She was imprisoned?

That knowledge should make things better. That knowledge should reassure Serana a bit, shouldn't it? It didn't. Somehow it felt worse. Now she knew that she would have to do something for her mother. She would have to… free her. Give her access to Nirn again.

It shouldn't make any difference. Serana thought she already did have that access. But actively providing it was another thing.

"Where is she?" She asked one more question. That's why they were here. She needed to ask, no matter how much she wished to just turn back.

"There is a large structure behind the wall, up a small hill," Jiub answered.

She knew what he meant instantly. The largest structure she could see from up there. And the only 'hill'.

"We've seen it. Thank you, Jiub," she nodded at him. That was where they needed to go then.

"I warned you," the soul merely shrugged.

He did. But what else was there to do?

They needed to find her mother whether she liked it or not.

…

A bright warm white light shone, seeping into the skeletal chest of the Daedra.

They did look like the undead, shrouded in a strange dark purple, almost black, mist. And most of them were just floating with no legs. It was clear these were not just raised corpses. And of course, there were no actual corpses around. Not human ones.

But Isran's warhammer was very effective against them with its enchantment. And they fell to Serana's spells as well. Though some seemed more resilient, the two of them didn't get into a dicey situation yet. It was probably because of their careful approach too.

Isran let out a satisfied sigh as he watched the Daedra crumble under his blow. He did look into the distance though, towards a glowing crystal looming atop one of the dark structures.

"Do you really think that's an Ideal Master?" He scowled a bit. They couldn't see many of these crystals around – only three. "I just wouldn't imagine something so powerful looking like a giant shiny rock."

"I know," she nodded. She understood where he was coming from. Sometimes though the most harmless-looking things could be the most dangerous. "We really should not approach though. You are still mortal."

"True. Perhaps it would have been a bit simpler if I chose your alternative," he mused, though he almost seemed to be ridiculing the notion alone.

"It… wouldn't have been ideal either," she pointed out. "I could have infected you, but we would have to wait for you to turn fully. And… I don't suppose being a vampire is something you would ever want."

"True, to some measure," Isran nodded. "There are cures out there."

Cures. Right. Serana knew a lot of stories about curing vampirism. She knew that was possible. She didn't know how, but she knew it was possible. It was surprising to hear it from Isran though. From what she'd seen, mortals weren't often aware of this fact. Or at least they weren't so certain about it.

"So… why did you choose to be soul trapped? If you know that there is a cure, why not simply let yourself be turned and cured and avoid the uncertainty?" She didn't understand that. He was so sure that there was a way out, but he couldn't know what the partial soul trap would mean. She didn't know either.

"I thought about it," he sighed. "In the end, there were a lot of reasons to choose to risk a tiny piece of my soul. For one, we are pushing events to move faster by being here. I do not have a current lead on a cure and it could take years for me to find one. Time I do not have to adjust to such an existence, procuring sources of blood that I would even agree to use for that purpose, finding out how my spells and equipment would work… it's unprecedented. And I did not want to be the one to test these things when we are in this much danger of our plans going awry. Not to mention the risk of dying, perhaps even in this place, while being one of Bal's spawn," he scrunched up his face. That was… understandable. And very valid. That was the problem with turning while hoping to get cured later. Nobody would guarantee a person wouldn't die before they could.

"And I also did it for my men and their own comfort," Isran added after a spell of silence.

"You take their comfort into consideration a lot," Serana scowled a bit. It was not that she wanted Isran to be turned. And in theory, it was a good thing that he cared for his men. But he risked and sacrificed too much for them.

"I do. Why would I not?" He shrugged.

"It's… your soul. It's not a decision to take lightly." She wasn't sure why it bothered her a little. Maybe it was not that he was taking his men into consideration now. Maybe it bothered her a little that he was not the one bothered about her vampirism. He just asked her not to drink her potions in front of people or not to use her spells at the fort outside of her demonstrations or combat. For them.

"I did not take it lightly. I thought about it a lot," Isran pointed out. "Look at this place, the people trapped here by the Ideal Masters. It's a harrowing existence. Forever. And if anything went wrong with my intentions of curing myself… that's what would await me on another plane. Serving a different master. Trapped."

A chill went down Serana's spine at his words. He made it sound so inevitable.

"You would be immortal," she retorted. There was no certainty in spending an eternity in Coldharbour. Not for vampires.

"Nobody's truly immortal," he shook his head.

There was a moment of silence between them as they continued walking towards the large building in the distance through the emptiness of this plane. Serana thought about his words a bit, but it just made her uncomfortable. He was right. But it was not something anyone should dwell on. Death could come to anyone, true enough. But there were no other options for her anyway. The best thing she could do was to avoid that death.

"Does that not bother you? The knowledge that you might end up in that place…" He asked her somewhat carefully.

"It doesn't matter," she shrugged. "If I die, I am bound there no matter what. It was part of how I became a vampire."

"What do you mean by that?" Isran scowled a bit. Serana knew what he was wondering about. Those cures. It would make no difference to her.

"I was not infected. None of my family were," she explained. "It was a… ritual. One binding us to Molag Bal. It… gave us all more power for a price. Now there is no undoing that."

"And that's something you wanted to do?" Isran scowled. "Do you even worship Molag Bal? And what was the price? Do you mean being bound to him?"

So many questions. Well… she shouldn't be surprised. It was not as if he wouldn't ask any. Anyone probably would.

"It doesn't matter what I wanted. I agreed to it," she made sure not to sound bitter as she said it. There was no reason to be bitter, was there? It'd been so long ago and it was her choice, even knowing what it entailed. Regrets were pointless. "I… do not 'worship' Molag Bal in the way you would understand. It's… something else." She was bound to him whether she liked it or not. She wasn't even sure whether there was such a thing as 'worshipping' Molag Bal. Maybe there was always just… submitting.

"I've… never heard of someone becoming a vampire through a ritual," Isran continued to frown. He even looked angry. What did he have to be angry about? "What kind of a ritual was it?"

"An… unpleasant and degrading ritual. To be worth the power it gave us," she explained curtly. She suspected that the details were not important. Possibly another thing she should not expose mortals to.

"Was it?" Isran snarled. Even more angrily just then. An… odd reaction. She never got a reaction like that. Then again, only her kinsmen ever heard about the ritual. Father presented it as a point of pride for all of them. She knew his price was different, though he never said what it was. He did present her and her mother's price as the greatest accomplishment, demonstrating their devotion and submission to Bal for immense power.

It was an accomplishment, but Serana didn't want to think of submission to him as the point of that pride. Perhaps the resilience and overcoming of it. Those were ideals she was willing to take pride in. Not submission or blind faith.

"Was it what?" She asked Isran. She wasn't sure what he was referring to.

"Was it worth it?" He growled, still angry.

"It is now," she shrugged. She wasn't sure what else to say about it. If anyone asked her a long time ago, her answer would have likely been different.

"Is it really? Your soul is bound to Oblivion. To a place like this. Or perhaps worse," he shook his head. "And all that after…"

He did not finish the sentence. Maybe he didn't know how. She was not sure what he meant either, but she could imagine the gist of it. It hardly mattered. None of it mattered when it was done and in the past, best left where it lay.

"My power has its worth, wherever I'm bound, and there is no changing that. There is only avoiding it," she stated somewhat matter-of-factly. This discussion was entirely pointless.

"Your carefulness and eagerness to find help makes sense," Isran noted. He seemed a little bit calmer now, more contemplative, but his brows were still creased deeply.

"You have me all figured out now, do you?" She smiled a bit teasingly. This topic should be done with, just like that ritual itself. And she hoped teasing him a little might remove that scowl from his face at last.

It did work. He now looked very different. Perhaps even intrigued.

"Not even close, I suspect."

…

The journey felt so long.

They could always see the prison once they passed the long wall. It didn't seem that far, but as they walked and walked, it just never seemed any closer.

After a lot of time and a lot of fights, it was finally there, in front of them.

Just up a slope and there it was. Serana knew her mother was here. She knew that soon their search would be over.

She suddenly felt like she couldn't walk forth.

She wasn't the only one. At first, she thought that Isran stopped on her account, but he seemed to have his own reasons which became apparent when he spoke.

"It felt so far for so long, now I feel like there's still too much to talk about before we go," he sighed.

Talk? What more was there to talk about?

"I know we said we'd discuss this after we have the Scroll, but…" he began, but Serana didn't let him finish. She knew what his concern still was. Maybe it was that small fear that she would betray him. Or maybe it was just mistrust of Harkon. She hoped it was the latter. But regardless, there was no need for any of it. She just forgot to mention it. There was too much to talk about – he had a point.

"The Scroll is yours to guard," she nodded. "I have a different plan now. It will take some time, but… Bishop had an idea that has some potential. And for that, I would hopefully get the two Scrolls my father has to get the reading. And the last one doesn't need to come into his possession at all."

"That's… a relief. An unexpected one," Isran let out a palpably pleased sigh. "What's the plan?"

"My father asked me to approach someone and from there, I could spin some lies about where the Scroll is. We can discuss that a bit later." She looked anxiously up on that hill, at that fortress. She didn't exactly want to discuss another elaborate plan right now.

"Of course," Isran nodded. "I should probably be thanking Bishop for this idea then," he smirked. "I am always pleased when we end up on the same page."

"Hmm… I don't feel like that will go over well somehow," Serana smirked a little. Bishop seemed really angry at Isran. It would probably be for the best if those two kept away from each other. But he was right – it was a relief for her too to know there was a way to do this so that both her and Isran were content with the approach.

"His anger will wane," Isran sighed a bit. "He just needed a scapegoat at that moment. I understand that. But that's not important right now. Are you ready?"

No.

"Of course," she smiled a bit.

"What… can we expect from your mother?" He asked warily. That was a fair question.

"Well… she used to be… protective of me. She would not trust anyone by my side. She didn't attack though. She tested and tricked people to have them prove their intentions. I suggest you mostly ignore her requests and questions, if she makes any," Serana explained. "She avoided combat and danger herself. She always used someone or something to achieve her goals. I… don't know what else to say about her." She really didn't. She had no idea what one could say about a person like that. Her mother taught her, she did everything she could to ensure her protection and survival. And that meant… everything. Everything she talked her into, pushed her into accepting. And then she left when Serana refused to keep hiding and waiting for a disaster to find them instead of fighting against it.

"You speak of her in the past…" Isran noticed.

"It's been centuries," she shrugged.

"It's been centuries while she was on Nirn too. How much did she change through that?" He retorted. That was a good point, but not really valid in these circumstances.

"Centuries of her imprisoned here," she sighed. "I have no idea if she has access to blood at all, or to food and water. I don't know how she survives here."

"A fair point," he nodded. "One last question then."

"Yes?" It was strange. She was antsy and impatient, but she also did not want to go yet.

"If it wasn't for the Scroll, would you be here? Would you come looking for her?"

She didn't understand the point of the question. It wasn't important. She was caught-off guard by it, but the answer flew out of her mouth without any thinking or hesitation.

"No."

…

It was quite anticlimactic.

When they climbed the small hill and approached the entrance to the fortress, all there was was an open wall leading into a large courtyard and a glowing dark barrier blocking the access to it.

They both tried to touch it, let their fingers through it, but it was clearly impenetrable.

As much as she hated to do this, Serana had to try another approach.

"Mother!" She called out loudly. Again, it felt… strange. Calling for her, coming to her, looking for her. She never intended that in the first place. Not before she really understood what the prophecy meant. Not until she understood her father's delusion. She was content to leave her mother here, hiding for eternity.

But lately she was beginning to realize she was more like her in some ways than she would have liked to admit. For a long time, Serana was content with the second Scroll being lost and the third one stolen by her mother. That seemed like a comfortable complacency. Waiting for a disaster…

Why did it take her so long to take active action against her father? Why did it take him getting the second Scroll for her to seek help?

Maybe she was right before. Maybe it would have been better to leave things be and hope that secrets will remain hidden. Those were the same thoughts she knew plagued Isran. He wondered often if him re-establishing the Dawnguard was the impulse that cost them the Scroll. She knew exactly how it felt. They were nudging things into motion by trying to prevent them. Perhaps that would just allow the disaster to come now.

But it felt so much better to be trying to do something about this.

Soon, a shadow with a pair of glowing eyes began to approach the barrier. The shape had to come close to be perceivable behind the darkness, but there she was.

Her mother.

"Serana!" Her voice echoed through the area with an astonished gasp. "Serana, you came! What did he do? Why did you come to hide?" There was an instant anger in that tone. The hatred she bore for Harkon was palpable even centuries after.

"I did not come to hide, mother," Serana sighed. "I came to find you. And the Scroll. To keep it safe."

"It is safe!" Her mother's voice snarled from behind the barrier.

"Not safe enough. There are… plans in motion that need to be finished. We have to find a way to stop him for good. To stop this prophecy," Serana explained. It felt… strange. She wasn't sure what she expected, but this meeting was so… factual. She had no idea if she wanted a more emotional response to her safety and presence by her mother.

There was silence. Serana was not sure if her mother could see past the barrier. She made no motion to acknowledge Isran at all. She just kept staring at Serana.

"You need to take this thing down," her mother sighed. "We will talk later, but you need to take this down. I need to… I need to see you, Serana. Really see you." There was a strange tinge in her voice as she said it and she put her hand on the barrier longingly.

Hmm…

It was… different. Serana knew what needed to be done. She knew they would be asked to take the barrier down. But this all seemed so… quick. Her mother moved past Isran's presence, past the fact that Serana wanted the Scroll and that she was not willing to stay here, all too quickly.

"There are… Daedra that are…" her mother started to explain, but Serana quickly interrupted her.

"Keepers. Yes. We know," Serana sighed. "Where are they?"

"The towers that glow the same way this fortress does. Three towers, three Keepers," her mother answered eagerly.

Right. Those with the purple light and swirling stones. Well… that was clear enough. They would not get the Scroll with the barrier in place. This was the only way anyway.

"Very well," Serana nodded. "Come, Isran."

"That's… it?" He looked at her in palpable confusion.

Apparently, it was. It felt strange and unexpected. Serana was caught-off guard by it too, but… that was it. For now.

And truth be told, after such reception, Serana was eager to get away from here.

Even if it was into more imminent danger.