Twenty Two

It was too quiet. Jade cocked her head as a tree branch brushed against the window, making a soft scraping noise. She'd forgotten how quiet it really was out here, without the ever-present sound of traffic, or airplanes.

Or air conditioning. She glanced at the ceiling in mild amusement. The AC provided a white noise that most people who lived in warmer climates were subliminally used to. Its absence was almost uncomfortable, as the silence beat down on her ears broken only by Tori's soft breathing.

Her soft, adorable breathing, which was warming the skin right above Jade's heart, since the brunette was nestled against her right side, with her head pillowed on Jade's shoulder, and one arm wrapped securely around her stomach.

It was nice and cozy, and she'd discovered, much to her own personal amazement, that she really, really enjoyed all this cuddling stuff.

A revelation. Her parents had been anything but physically affectionate, even with each other, Jade had only seen the occasional hug. A pat on the back, sure. A gentle slap on the leg, her father's favorite attention-getter, yes. But hugs?

Hell no. In fact, she honestly couldn't remember the last time her mother had touched her…oh, no, maybe she could. Jade reflected quietly. Yeah… the first... no, the second time she'd broken her arm... the bad one, when the bones had been sticking out of her arm, and had left the thin, straight scars Tori always liked to trace.

Mom had held her then, while she tried so hard not to scream.

But then her father had come in, and she'd bitten her lip almost through to keep the crying inside, her efforts rewarded by a brief pat on her cheek and his approval. "That's my tough girl."

Jade chewed her bottom lip reflectively. It had been an ever-present argument between them, she knew… until her mother had just given up, and allowed her to follow in his footsteps as far as she was able.

It couldn't have been easy to watch, she realized. She hadn't been a pleasant child, and going through adolescence had been one long string of fights, trips to the principal's office, and threats of reform school. She'd had one principal who wanted her out in the worst way, with only one thing blocking his case.

She'd been a straight "A" student.

Must have driven them all nuts. Honors everything, advanced placement, the whole nine yards. She'd gotten into college on an academic scholarship, and frustrated her friends, what few there were, by her ability to breeze through classes with little studying, and less preparation.

She'd graduated in the top two percent of her class, with honors… but at that point in her life, she hadn't cared. She'd tossed her rolled-up diploma into a basket in her room at her parent's house and spent an entire weekend so drunk she still had no recollection of it.

Then she'd gone out into CAS and found the first job that would pay her

enough to cover the monthly payments on a car, rather than just her junk food budget, and spent her free hours underwater, away from everything.

Alone.

Tori stirred, shifting a little, then lifting her head and looking up. "Hey?"

Jade exhaled and gave her a fond look. "Hmm?"

"Why are you still up?" The brunette rested her chin on Jade's breastbone. "Do you want some hot milk?" Her dreams had nudged her uneasily awake.

A quiet smile, as Jade rubbed her arm lightly. "No... I was just thinking.. that's all.."

"Mm… bout what?"

Jade hesitated, then shrugged, pursing her lips a bit. "Nothing really concrete.. my folks… a little bit about school…" She moved a stray lock of hair out of Tori's eyes. "Go on back to sleep…you looked so peaceful."

Tori considered her words. Peaceful. Oh yeah, except for that dream where I wake up and I'm in an empty room… and you're gone. "I wasn't really fond of school." She commented. "I wasn't that good at it… except for stuff like English." She admitted. "I belonged to a lot of clubs... Key Club, Young Republicans, that kind of thing."

Jade smiled. "You were a Young Republican?" She queried. "I think the only club I ever joined was.. um… " She thought. "Some jock club or other... I was on a lot of sports teams in high school."

"Oh, gee.. there's a surprise." Tori grinned at her, and then her expression faltered. "Not me... I wanted to play softball, but…" She paused in memory, then sighed. "I probably would have sucked at it anyway." Her mother's horror at the very thought. "I got stuck with golf."

"I'm sure you wouldn't have." Jade objected, mildly. "You've got good hand-eye coordination.. and a nice running style…you'd have been fine." She analyzed. "I never had the damn patience for golf. How in the hell did you stand it?"

Tori peered at her in silence, then she let out a quiet breath. "Do you know something, Jade?" She stated softly. "Do you want to know when the very first time was that I was told I was capable and intelligent?" She had no idea why she was going into this, save that it had been a night of open truths, and this had been weighing on her.

The blue eyes peered at her in puzzlement. "Sure."

"You should know." The brunette told her. "You wrote it in an email."

Jade stared at her in shocked silence.

"And you hardly knew me.. you'd met me for what… a half an hour?" Tori shifted, propping her head up on her fist. "Even the bosses at Associated…I mean, sure... I was always spoken of as a hard worker… a nice girl… always on time… but despite what Robert said, the only reason I got that job was because the guy in there before me left with the accountant's wife in the middle of the night, and they needed someone real fast, and real accessible."

"That's not true, Tori.. you were an excellent director.. your personnel record carried the highest recommendations in it," Jade argued. "You're highly skilled, highly motivated, very intelligent, and.. and…."

Tori gazed at her wistfully.

"And adorable." Jade finished, having run out of professional descriptives. "Don't tell me that's why you decided to come work for me.. because I stated the obvious?"

A soft sigh. "It might have been obvious to you, but it sure wasn't obvious to me," Tori admitted. "I had a mental note somewhere to say thank you for that, by the way…I think you were the first person in my life who just took me at face value… and didn't assume I was some fluffball muffinhead who got the job because of my father." She reflected. "Even Robert, who liked me… when he put me in as manager, he told me he didn't expect much. Just that I should try to keep things going until he could find a real director."

Jade watched her, stunned. "You're serious." She muttered.

A slow nod. "What did you see in me, Jade… that no one else did?" Tori wondered aloud.

Jade actually reached up and slapped her own head. "Okay, for starters, you had guts." She spluttered. "And... and you held yourself together in a very stressful situation.. and…you came up with some very good, and very intelligent plans for the takeover…and… and you told me to go hell, for Christ's sake… do you know how many people have done that and gotten away with it?"

"Not many, huh?" Tori was guiltily soaking up the praise like a sponge.

"Try ONE." Jade hitched herself up and regarded her lover. "Listen… I know talent when I see it... it's part of my job, Tori.. and believe me, my talent meter went off the scale when I saw you." She sighed, perplexed. "Good grief, Tor.. you'd think I hired you because I had the hots for you or something."

An awkward silence fell, as Tori's eyes dropped to the comforter, the sudden strike at her own hidden insecurities going home with a vengeance. "I…"

Jade felt her heart drop. "You didn't think that." She questioned softly. "Tori? Look at me."

Fearful Brown eyes slowly lifted to hers.

"Tori, I hired you because I thought you would be a tremendous asset to me.. and an excellent assistant," Jade told her gently. "And I was very, very right.. what would make you think otherwise?" She felt a little bewildered.

Tori's eyes dropped again. "I… I don't know." She confessed softly. "Maybe because I've been told all my life that's how things work." Her eyes crept up Jade's still body. "You don't get things because you work hard, or because you deserve them… you get them because someone pays for them, or because someone wants something from you."

Jade looked stricken. "Tori… "

"I know… " Tori let her head fall and rest against Jade's skin. "I know… my head knows, and god.. my heart knows differently, Jade.. but sometimes… sometimes I look in the mirror, and I can't help thinking… Why me?" She lifted her head. "It's like I'm in a fairy tale, and one day a wicked witch is going to wave her wand, and I'll be back home, or you'll get t-tired of me, or… " She blinked her eyes, and tears hit Jade's shoulder. "I can't help it."

Jade exhaled in dismay, understanding a little more about her lover. "Tori…." She cupped the smaller woman's cheek, seeing the glittering tears. "I meant those words, and I promise you… I promise you, I'll always be here for you…no matter what." She reassured her. "I will never leave you."

"What if I screw up at work?" Tori asked. "What if I can't do this?"

'Sweetheart, I don't give a damn." The dark-haired woman told her. "If you want to quit, and do nothing but sell seashell futures over the internet from the house, that's more than okay by me…are you really worried about it? You do a fantastic job."

"I don't want to ever disappoint you," Tori whispered.

Jade tucked the brunette's head against her chest and hugged her. "You won't."

Tori rested there for a moment. "Sorry." She finally muttered. "I'm not sure where that little bout of insecurity came from." She played with the edge of Jade's sleep shirt. "In the middle of the damn night, too... "

"It's all right." Jade rubbed gentle circles against her back, willing her pounding heart to slow. "We've both been through some rough times."

Tori nodded. "I know….it makes it very hard to trust this doesn't it?" She gently returned to her position, curling an arm back around Jade's belly.

"Yes, it does," Jade admitted, circling her with both arms and pulling her closer. "But we'll get through it."

Tori relaxed against her. "Together." She added quietly.

"Always," Jade confirmed.

"Brr." Jade snuggled further down into the covers, giving the early morning light an evil look. "It's cold out there." She glanced at the thermostat, then back at her trying not to giggle bedmate. "We forgot to turn the heater on."

"You are such a wuss." Tori butted her head into Jade's chest, then she rolled onto her back. "All right... I guess I have to prove my northern roots and get up to turn the heat on." She ducked out from under the covers and winced as her feet hit the cold floor. "Yow… " She scampered across the surface and got to the thermostat, tossing it up into the broil range, then bounded back and hopped into bed like a large, Brown haired kangaroo. "Yikes.. that is cold."

"Hah hah." Jade grinned. Then she relented and tossed the covers around Tori, pulling her back into a pocket of wonderfully Jade smelling warmth. "Thanks."

"Ungh." Tori ducked her head under the blanket and deliberately snuck her chilled hands under Jade's shirt, grinning as she felt the other woman's gasp. "Heh.. you're nice and warm." She gently tweaked the skin under her fingertips.

"Yeah.. except for these blocks of ice up against my stomach." Jade gave her a mock glare, now very wide awake. "How did you get so cold in such short a time?"

Tori shrugged, snuggling closer. "Heat all rushed to my brain, I guess… to keep me from plowing into the window." She yawned, making a soft, squeaking noise. "So…a little riding... right?" She found herself really looking forward to the day.

"Breakfast first." Jade corrected. "Millie makes the best cheese grits I've ever had."

"Cheese grits." Tori sighed. "That ranks where on the health meter? between munching on a solid stick of butter and swallowing chocolate syrup?" Sometimes she seriously wondered how Jade had actually lived as long as she had, and was in the physical condition she obviously was. Maybe her chemistry burned things differently or something. "Jesus."

Jade chuckled softly, used to the Wobegon protests by now. "I think they serve a sprig of parsley with them. if it makes you feel better." She told her innocently. "Besides, you like them." She reminded her lover.

brown Eyes peeked warily up from the dark recesses of the comforter. "You are a bad influence," Tori informed her. "You tricked me into liking them."

"You're the one who brought home Snowballs for dinner the other night." Jade teased the brunette woman, who tickled her in revenge. "Hey!"

"Like I had a choice?" Tori persisted, finding a good spot just under Jade's rib cage that was making her squirm. "It was either that, or eat The Eggs from the Black Lagoon, and Son of Maybe it Once was Bacon, but now, who knows?" She shuddered. "Believe me, the mystery crème in the snowballs was much safer."

Jade was laughing helplessly. "Okay.. okay... I give up… you win." She draped her arms over Tori's body and exhaled, watching the rising sun inch its way into the window. The gentle, pink beams were broken by the leaves outside, and they laid an intricate pattern over the blankets. "Nice day out."

Tori burrowed up a little and peeked at the window. "Mm… yeah… this is going to be fun." She looked up at Jade with a frank, happy grin. "I haven't been riding for years.. I hope I remember how."

Jade gave her a squeeze. "Don't worry… it comes back to you." She promised. "They've got a nice string of horses here.. only one or two meanies."

"One or two, huh?" Tori eyed her speculatively. "Let's see.. " She raised a hand to her head and pressed her fingers to her temple, then closed her eyes. "My psychic ability is telling me… those are the ones you pick." One Brown orb opened, and its brow tilted up. "Yes?"

Jade let out a low, throaty chuckle, and rewarded her with a sexy grin. "Very good, Madame Poo Poo." She inclined her head in agreement. "Hey.. I can get you a 900 number for the office.. make you a profit center. How about it?"

Tori laughed. "Oh yeah. I can see that... "Operations and Prognostication, Vega speaking." She mimicked herself, rolling her eyes when Jade started laughing too. "I'd be a real hit in Sales meetings."

"Nah... " Jade disagreed. "What would they do with their Ouija board, and the 8 ball Jose keeps stuffed up his butt?"

"Oh god.. that's bad. What a visual picture." Tori winced, covering her eyes. "Ewww…ew…. Jade.. gross... I need to flush my cache."

"Here."Jade fished her out of the covers, and pulled her up, kissing her soundly. The contact continued past where she'd intended, and after a long moment, they broke off and looked at each other, panting a little. "Better?" Jade asked, on an irregular breath.

"Than what?" Tori wondered, gazing at her in goofy adoration. "Is it just my opinion that you're such an awesome kisser?" She reached up and traced Jade's lower lip with a finger, shaking her head a little. "Or is it that everything you do takes on such a deeper meaning for me?"

Jade cocked her head and thought about that. "I don't know. "She finally answered, honestly. "I've never had anyone tell me that before…but I've noticed that just about everything I do with you is.. um.. " She pursed her lips and rocked her head from side to side. "Right, if you know what I mean."

"Mm." Tori waggled her eyebrows. "I know what you mean." She stated, then blushed a little and tucked her head into Jade's shoulder. God, Tori.. you are turning into a wanton little hussy, aren't you? "Shall we go and find you some cheese grits, boss?" She squeezed Jade. "Maybe you'll humor me and have a nice chicken sandwich for lunch, hmm?"

"Sure." Jade agreed amiably, remembering Millie's chicken sandwiches, which consisted of a deep-fried breast, covered in gravy, on a toasted, buttery roll. "No problem."

Tori eyed her suspiciously, but the blue eyes peered back with devastating innocence. "You know I'm just doing this for your own good, right?" She queried. "Not just to be a pain in the neck."

Jade touched her forehead to the brunette woman's. "Yes, I know that." She paused and thought. "It's actually kind of nice to have someone be worried about me… my parents gave up on that a long, long time ago."

"Really?" Tori murmured.

"Yeah... " Her lover admitted. "She told me when I was…I guess sixteen or so, that if I did whatever I wanted, and had my body fall apart at age thirty, don't come back and complain about her being right all those years."

Tori peeked under the blanket, then gazed at her. "Jade?"

"Hmm?"

"She was wrong."

"I know… my father always said his genes could beat the pants off of a diet that would kill just about anyone else." The dark-haired woman laughed a little self-consciously. "I guess I'm just lucky I take after him."

"Hey Jade.. I was just wondering.." Tori wrapped a thick lock of dark hair around one finger and gave her a wistful smile. "Do you think we're best friends?"

The silence of the cabin lengthened as Jade regarded the covers pensively. "I have no idea what that means." She finally admitted, looking up at Tori. "I have nothing to judge it against… really."

"Mm." Tori let out a small breath.

"I do know I feel closer to you than I have to anyone else in my life before." Jade offered a touch hesitantly. "I've told you things about myself that I've never said to anybody else." She paused. "Or wanted to." She searched Tori's face. "Does that count?"

"It's hard to remember." The brunette woman rolled out of bed and paced across the floor, running her hands through her hair. 'It's been a long time for me." She walked over to the built-in hot water dispenser, and picked up a cup, dropping a fragrant peach-scented tea bag into a cup and pouring water over it. After a moment, she pulled down another cup and rifled among the assortment of teas, choosing a blackberry one for Jade and steeping it. "Angie and I were always pretty close. '' She commented. "But it was a sister thing…I had friends in grade school, but they kinda got fewer as I got older."

Jade had gotten out of bed and came up behind her, putting her hands on Tori's shoulders and gently squeezing them. "That grow apart."

Tori nodded, stirring sugar into the cups. "I know… I had a…a best friend in high school." She answered. "Peggy… her parents and my parents were friends, so we saw each other a lot." She turned and handed Jade her cup. "We had sleepovers, went to movies.. shared our crushes... you know."

Jade studied her. "Yeah." She finally nodded.

Tori took a sip of her tea. "You don't know, do you?"

Surprisingly, the other woman chuckled. "Tori, I was the girl your mother told you to stay away from." She admitted. "The one who ran with the guys… got into trouble, picked fights, and raised hell." She sighed. "No... there weren't many sleepovers in my checkered youth…the movies were mostly R and X rates we snuck into and crushed… " A faint shake of her head. "I didn't have time for those." She glanced up. "You still talk to Peggy?"

A quiet, sad look crossed Tori's face. "No…" Her gaze dropped to the floor. "In our senior year, she got into trouble… a guy she'd been dating got a little frisky, and she didn't know enough to say no…she got pregnant." A quiet pause. "They sent her away somewhere… I got a letter from her… twice… the second time she told me she'd had her baby.. a little girl."

A silence fell. "And?" Jade gently prodded. "What happened?"

Tori looked up. "I don't know... I never heard from her again… when my folks found out about the letters, they were furious... They told me if they caught me with any more, I'd be punished." She exhaled slowly. "I never got close to anyone again after that.. it was just.. too complicated."

"You're friends with Andre, though." Jade objected, a little concerned at her lover's pensive air. "Tori…everyone loves you... I haven't met a person yet who doesn't unless it was a total asshole who even his own mother would hate." She spread a handout. "You could have hundreds of friends... you know that."

"Too many people to worry about," Tori responded seriously. "I've tried to keep my life simple since then."

"Until now," Jade stated quietly. Until me. Which one of us took the bigger risk, I wonder?

"Mm." Her companion wryly agreed.

"Tori?"

"Yeah?"

Jade put a hand on her cheek. "I think we are best friends." She leaned over and kissed her forehead. "C'mon.. let's go get some breakfast."

Tori smiled, then raised herself on her toes and claimed a proper kiss. She could taste the blackberry on Jade's lips and decided it went well with her peach. It felt so good, after all these years, to be unloading a little of this stuff. She wondered if Jade felt the same about it. "Okay… you're on."

They washed and dressed quickly, but not so quickly that a sponge fight was missed, then headed across the dew-scattered ground in the brisk early morning air.

"So." Tori linked an arm through her companions' "You were a hell-raiser, huh?"

"Oh yeah," Jade confirmed. "First class... I even had a switchblade."

"Did you really?" Tori gazed at her, in bemused surprise.

"Yeah.. of course, the one time I almost had to use it I opened it backward and nearly cut my own finger off, but.. "

They both started laughing, as their steps scattered the rising mist.