Star Trek: Strange New Worlds… "Spiff's Rift…"

Summary: Spaceman Spiff takes on the crew of the Enterprise…

Note: After a recent Calvin and Hobbes meme, I just had to…

Part IV…

"Does Hobbes like them?" Ms. Singh smiled at Calvin as he finished off another cookie.

"He's crazy about 'em. And he should know. Hobbes is something of a foodie." Calvin noted.

"Well, then I'm flattered." She beamed. "Now, Calvin, I asked you here during recess because I need your help…And your grades could use some from me. I know you're a very bright boy, with a wonderful imagination…"

"Your thought processes are exceptional for a human, Spiff." Commander Singh noted coyly. Leering smile. "It's truly a pleasure to meet such a legendary figure and learn he is the hero they make him out to be." Folding hands on her desk, deceptively akin to a 21st century Earth teacher's.

"Lets dispense with the compliments, Commander." Spiff, sternly, handsome features clenching as he leaned forward in his chair. "What have you done with my counterpart/ancestor Tracer Bullet?"

"He's quite all right…Cookiefied." Smile. "Though like you, I'm sure, we've found him impossible to break. Which is remarkable given he is a primitive. But I imagine his knowledge is limited to this primitive era."

"Tracer's pretty sharp but he knows nothing of our Galactic Confederation and the future. Temporal laws. You're wasting your time trying to get anything from him."

"Naturally." Smiling nod. "But of course…You do. And Tracer does know something, as do you, that we are very interested in, regards this era." Cool smile.

"So, you wanted me to come here." Spiff noted. "A trap? Please…" casual shrug while one hand felt for his blaster.

"Hardly, Spiff…" Singh leaned back, regarding Spiff carefully.

"Ms. Singh!" Susie appeared at the half-open class door, pushing it wide. "Principal Pike asked me to tell you to send Calvin to his office soon as you can."

From within the darkened room where Tracer Bullet had been secured, with admittedly damn fine cookies, along with the expected usual alien goon covering him, Bullet heard the squealing voice of the Derkins dame. Sounds like she'd come back to collaborate with the aliens some more.

It figured.

Worse, she'd probably get some of the cookies.

"Have a cookie, Susie."

Naturally, she did.

"Thanks…"

Damn!

"You'd better go, Calvin. Do you want me to go with you?" Ms. Singh eyed him.

Wants to overhear my conversation with the President, no doubt…Spiff thought as Singh agreed, with cool smile, to a brief pause in their talk to allow him to communicate with the Galactic President as a sign of her "good faith".

Sure…Bullet listening. But I could tell you what would really be a sign of such…

"Releasing Bullet would be a nice gesture." Spiff noted in the office, leaning to regard his clever and surely devious opponent.

With more cookies, Bullet nodded as he listened in the dark of the interior room, eyeing the leering guard.

Though maybe that leer is just his normal expression…Hard to tell with these aliens.

"I think I prefer to hold that card in my lovely human –simulated hand…" Singh smiled. "And he wants to finish his cookies."

True enough, Bullet thought, chewing.

"You can see him on your return."

"I'll walk you. Recess won't be over for a few minutes yet. C'mon." Ms. Singh urged, rising from her chair. "Susie, you can go back out to recess."

Susie looking a bit grim as they passed her.

"Hobbes? Does he like her?" she addressed the stuffed tiger, propped against Calvin's regular desk chair.

"And why am I talking to you?" she blinked at him.

'Cause I'm such a stud, I should hope…Hobbes noted.

…

"So, kiddo, this really isn't the way I wanted to get started with you…" Principal Christopher Pike eyed the boy seated in front of his desk. "But this is the second time you've been firing your dart gun off this week in school. And it's Tuesday." The youngish (at least relative to his predecessor) principal in suit leaned back, eyeing Calvin who returned look.

"Moe went to the nurse this time. HIs parents complained that he was bruised on his face. I know he's been bullying you, Calvin but…" Pike, kindly tone.

Wat-wah…Wat-wah-wah… "So, Spiff, I'm projecting to this time to warn you, you'll have to be cautious here. We've entered into negotiations with the Bullulumian Empire to free our forces to confront this new menace should you fail. Please don't jeopardize them by an unnecessary attack, even if they show up on old Earth in the form say, of a loutish bully, as a clever disguise. Focus on Commander Singh the Merciless and her efforts to destroy our future…Well, Calvin's, your, and our, present." Galactic Confederation President Pike noted.

"So, from now on I want to you to speak to me or a teacher if Moe breaks his promise to stop bothering you. I'm confiscating the one you had and I wanna see no more dart guns. I'm serious, Calvin, you could've put his eye out." Sternly solemn look. "For his part, Moe's going to repay you what he took, a dollar-fifty last week, right? And if he gives you any more trouble, you can speak to me directly. I hope though you two learn to settle…Wat-wah…Wat-wha-wah…."

"I'll try to follow your lead, Mr. President." Spiff nodded. "But I have to trust my own instincts. They've led me to victory before, you know."

"Well, it's gotta be a good sign Singh is letting us communicate. She wants to negotiate." The President noted.

"I'd rather like to know the reason for that. She is, after all, Singh the Merciless." Spiff noted.

"Even the 'Merciless' can be reasonable if it suits them." President Pike noted. "Though I agree, I would be cautious. We still don't know her real game here. Just that it involves your ancestor Calvin in this era."

"My middle name, Chris…Spaceman Cautious Spiff."

"How's Bullet, your ancestor/counterpart, by the way?" Pike asked.

"Stuffing himself with her cookies." Spiff frowned. "But I've no doubt he's holding out. Though it seems she was using him to lure me here."

Foolish alien…He and Pike grinned at each other. How many times have they tried to "lure" Spaceman Spiff to certain doom?

"Ok, Calvin…I'm glad we had this chat." Pike smiled, pressing buzzer. "Christina?" As Ms. Singh tapped on his door and he waved her in.

"Everything ok?" she eyed the two anxiously.

"I think Calvin and I got it settled. Calvin? You can go and remember what I said about speaking to me if you have any more trouble. Though it might be good for you and Moe to talk things out if you can. Ms. Singh is available, too, of course." Smile. "You're lucky to have her, she's one of the state's best teachers." Wry grin to him, then her… "Please don't frighten her off."

"I take a lot of scaring off…" Ms. Singh smiled. "But Calvin and I are going to be good friends."

"Well, I hope a peaceful agreement is possible." The President noted. "Thanks for allowing Spiff and me to talk. Spiff? Pike, out." His holoimage vanished.

"So, you see, Spaceman Spiff…Despite my legendary Mercilessness, I can be reasonable." Singh coyly smiled.

"Perhaps you can…But the President must needs follow the diplomatic route. Me, the gallant action hero one." Spiff noted. "But if you're really willing to negotiate, you might explain why you're here, on Earth, in this time era, and what role my other ancestral counterpart, Calvin, plays in your plans?"

"All in good time, Spaceman Spiff. Anyway, as another sign of good faith, Tracer Bullet has been released. Though I'm afraid he finished the remaining cookies." She noted. "Said they'd go well with his favorite Scotch at his favorite watering hole."

"That sounds like him." Spiff nodded.