Star Trek: Strange New Worlds... "Spiff's Rift..."
Summary: Spaceman Spiff takes on the crew of the Enterprise...
Note: After a recent Calvin and Hobbes meme, I just had to...
Part VII...
Spaceman's log, spacedate...Whatever...Spiff in his carefully hidden vessel, brought through the time riff, enters his log...
Though in the world of my predecessor, it's the early 21st century...
Thursday...2:45 pm.
"Following my detailed instructions and with the guidance of our placed time agent science expert Hobbes, and more important and less subject to cookie manipulation, me, Spaceman Spiff, my predecessor on this planet, Calvin, is maintaining our stand-off with the fiendish Commander, Singh the Merciless. I should note the heroic sacrifice Calvin is making for the future of the Galaxy in doing extra afterhours class- and home-work as Commander Singh attempts to maintain her feeble disguise as Calvin's new teacher. As yet her true purpose, apart from what she told me about taking Calvin to the future in exchange for peace, completely unacceptable as it would threaten the future's and more importantly, my own existence, we are as yet, Hobbes and I, uncertain. But the Calvin thing is pretty bad...Though she insisted it would be good all around."
"Can't really see that. I'd not exist. But I suspect she wants even more than that, despite her talk of peace. They don't call me 'Savior of the Galaxy' guy and give me medals for nothing, lady."
"But I can't engage her, despite fashioning a new mertilator for the one she so cleverly made disappear, until I know her game. Here, Calvin my predecessor is, or would be essential. But, hey no offense, Calvin, I suspect he's weakening under the effect of her cookie therapy. Therefore, I've asked for the support of another 21st century predecessor...Calvin Calvin, the intrepid reporter who first got knowledge of the 'retirement' of Singh's predecessor, Commander Wormwood. I believe he's the man for the job and have arranged for him to take Calvin's place in class."
"I haven't told him he's not so important as Calvin in the future, so if Singh takes or tortures the poor guy, no biggie, but not really important anyway."
Little did Spiff know, another was also intent on learning the truth as to Commander Singh's mission...
...
That afternoon, after school hours...Miss Singh's and Calvin's homeroom.
But this day, Calvin had agreed to let Calvin Calvin, ace reporter, substitute for him, so long as he brought any cookies home.
Calvin, famed reporter for a great metropolitan news network, was well versed in dealing with criminal psychopaths, even if they used cookies in their unique forms of torture. Though as a 21st century type, he could be at a disadvantage if Singh used her future tech. However to maintain her disguise as Calvin's schoolteacher, eager she was. And to be exposed as a vicious alien commander, was she not.
"Ok, Calvin, lets see how you did." Ms. Singh addressed him.
"How I did?" Calvin Calvin took a shrewd, long look at what appeared to the untrained eye to merely be an attractive...(One might say "cute". Shut up, Hobbes!)...Young schoolteacher. But he was on to her and not one to be easily fooled. Especially given Spiff had told him.
"Ok...I can see how you got a bit confused there." She noted, eyeing the paper.
Yeah, it is a myriad of confusing symbols. But this reporter has cracked tougher stories.
"Try to remember that when you subtract from the zero here." She touched his paper...
Whawah...Wah...Wah...She droned on, speaking in some mysterious, rather dull adultese. No doubt meant to distract and confuse...
"Calvin? Are you tired?" she asked, concerned look.
Tired of your evasions, lady. Calvin Calvin noted. Shaking his head.
"Well, any questions? Do you see...?"
"A thousand, lady." He noted.
"Ah..." Commander Singh now in her true uniform smiled coldly. "And I see we have here not Calvin but Calvin Calvin the famed reporter. You and Spiff arranged this little deception, eh?"
She is good...Calvin Calvin thought.
"Just a few questions, lady if you want our little game to continue..." the intrepid reporter nodded. "What's the deal, for example, with these symbols here?"
"That's the division part. The top number is the numerator, the bottom the denominator."
So I'd heard before, Calvin Calvin noted coolly. This dame is holding her info and cookies tight.
"And that's why the answer comes out as twenty five. You divided the total by the figure you got here..." she continued.
"I see." Shrewd nod.
"Good." Smile. "Yes, very good, Mr. Calvin. But you've violated our agreement." The alien commander frowned.
"Well, technically I have no agreement with you, you alien freak." Calvin Calvin noted. "Just Spiff does."
"Perhaps. But Spiff violated ours by replacing Calvin with you." She insisted. "However...You have your own unique charm and I am patient. Tell Spiff I expect Calvin himself, no duplicates or other contemporaries. Calvin? Got that, Mr. Calvin?" she eyed him coldly.
"I know you're a little tired but just try to focus. That's enough for today. How's about a cookie. I made some sugar last night." She offered plate.
Oh no, the fiend has a new (Yea! Shut up, Hobbes!) cookie drug variation. And it's pretty good. He nibbled.
"You know I appreciate your effort. You're really making progress, Calvin." Ms. Singh smiled. "Don't be discouraged." Knock at classroom room door.
"Can I get my bookbag?" Susie Derkins, at door, asked. "I had to go over some of my geography with Ms. Stein and left it."
"Sure, Susie. Calvin and I are finished." Ms. Singh noted. "Maybe you two could..."
No, oh, no...Calvin Calvin, nervously...Not that.
"...walk home together since you live close. Unless I can give you both a ride? It is getting a little late."
"That would be great. Calvin and I live close together." Susie beamed, triumphant look at Calvin who glared.
"Cookie?" Ms. Singh offered.
Oh, darn...Hobbes sighed. As Susie reached for the plate.
...
The stooge and collaborator Derkins eagerly agreed to keep tabs on me and ensure that it would be Calvin who came to class tomorrow.
And she scored three cookies. Darn.
But I soon was to learn that Derkins had more on her mind than cookies and was not quite the spineless stooge, I'd naturally, as had Tracer Bullet, taken her for.
Not at all, considering she's my girl. Hobbes noted. Unless you'd care to...
Hobbes!
...