Star Trek: Strange New Worlds... "Spiff's Rift..."

Summary: Spaceman Spiff takes on the crew of the Enterprise...

Note: After a recent Calvin and Hobbes meme, I just had to...

Part IX...

1999…Wednesday…

Back yard of Christina Singh's childhood home…Where little Christina in blouse and shorts was indeed tea partying like it was 1999, with the reluctant accompaniment of her neighbor young Christopher Pike.

"Ok, Chris…You are the daddy and you take the seat here, next to me, to indicate we do not support a patriarchal family structure…"

"This is my command chair…" he frowned. "You said we'd play 'Star Trek' and you'd be my number one…"

She beamed. Christopher Pike…Coy smile.

Ooops…He blanched. "I mean my second-in-command."

"Tea party first. Even Captains have families and have to drink tea."

"Romulan ale, only."

"Whatever…" she waved a hand.

Number…One, eh? Somebody likes me…

"Fine, but replicated food only and lets do this quick, the Klingons are threatening the Neutral Zone."

"Yeah, yeah." She waved hand impatiently. "Take your seat by the baby." She indicated her stuffed zebra, Wilson, already seated.

So humiliating, Wilson sighed, the baby bonnet on his head shaking.

"Here's your Romulan ale, Father Captain. I made the lemonade extra sour, ok?"

"Ahh…Ehew…" he made face.

But a Starfleet captain can't be seen buckling under to strong Romulan brew…

"Very good…Another…" attempting to smack lips.

"'Please'?" she eyed him. "And remember I'm Mother Admiral."

"You outrank me? No way!" he glared. "And you out of uniform anyway." Proudly indicating his favorite "Star Trek" golden color T-shirt.

"I'm on leave. But ok, at ease."

"No way you outrank me!"

"I won my rank in savage combat with the Gorn." She insisted. "More tea, Wilson?"

Please. But could we forego this ridiculous notion of me being a baby? Wilson noted. I'm really more the "noble steed" type. "Wild horse", like last week's rodeo if we must.

"You're second-in-command, that's the rule." Chris insisted.

"You made that rule. And I'm tired of it." She frowned.

Of course I could see my way to being "Number One" if…

"I'm not playing any more if you won't follow the rules of campaign. The Prime Directive says I'm in charge!" the Captain rose. "This is mutiny! Security Chief Wilson?! Seize her! She's lost her mind or been possessed by aliens! She'll destroy the ship!"

"It does not! My mom looked it up for me!" Christina, annoyed. "You just made one up to put you in charge! And Wilson is our baby!"

Actually, Ms. Singh…If it's all well and good, I think you'd best come along quietly, Security Chief Wilson noted contentedly.

"I don't want to be a dad, I wanna be a captain. Play right or…"

"OR WHAT?!" she rose, her full height two inches over his. Young, and two inches, shorter Chris blanching at the sight.

"You know what? Forget it!" she fumed, a tear running, turning on heel. "I thought we could play nice and have some fun but you are the most selfish person I ever met! Come on, Wilson!" she picked up the zebra.

Captain! I'm being kidnapped! Wilson, desperately.

The fate of a red shirt…He sighed. And a stupid white bonnet.

"I strip you of your rank, Number one!" Chris cried.

"I resign my commission! And I'm filing charges with Starfleet, snot-face!" she hollered back.

"Christie?! Don't take Wilson…Or the cookies you and your mom made! I'm sorry!" Chris noting her grabbing the plate of cookies on tea table.

She halted…Plate and Wilson in her hands. Turning…

"Really?"

…

"What happened next?" Susie stared, listening to the tale Ms. Singh had woven after pulling to the curb but not yet allowing Calvin escape.

"He took the cookies while I wasn't looking and later I caught him on the sidewalk in front of my place and pounded the tar out of him. But I guessed he actually did feel bad about making me cry." Smile… "And a bit later I felt bad about making him cry…" sly grin.

"Wow, that sound familiar…Eh, Calvin?" Susie eyed him.

"Totally implausible." Calvin noted. "Well, here's where I get off…" he tried the door again.

Damn. The vixen alien still has me trapped.

"Ok." Ms. Singh unlocked the doors. "But try to think of Susie's feelings too, Calvin."

"Yeah." Susie, curtly. Arms folded, starring at him. "Not that I got any for you, jerk."

"Yeah, yeah." Must get my info to Spiff at once. He must know his Galactic President is in cahoos with Singh!

"Come on, Hobbes." He noted, with casual air. Exiting with Hobbes as Ms. Singh waved. "Give my best to your parents, Calvin!" she called.

Hobbes frowning in silence as they walked along… "What?" Calvin, finally. "Don't start telling me I was a jerk."

Idiot, rather…We could be eating those cookies, Hobbes noted grimly.

…