Note: I don't own the people, but they seem to have a mind of their own anyhow. This is not how I expected this story to go. Anyway. Thanks for reading! And a review encouraged me to finish this chapter and publish it because I'm a people pleaser at heart, so please, review. Dopamine=faster updates. I love you all, mwah!
Hotch was excited to have his daughter in his house for a few days, but he didn't really know her yet. That fact was painfully obvious during the current awkward silence. The pair sat in his living room, and they hadn't spoken for a solid three minutes. "Maybe there's something on tv. Anything specific you'd like to watch?" Hotch was desperate to break the silence. He wanted to connect with Lia, but he also was thoroughly exhausted after the past few days they'd had.
"What streaming services do you have? Here, I'll find something good." She actually seemed excited at the proposed task. She was tired of just thinking.
Hotch smiled at how similar Lia seemed to her mother. He'd been doing that frequently since he met her. It wasn't just the similar physicality, although they could be sisters, but even an outsider could tell she idolized her mother. They shared a few of the same nervous habits and tells. Plus, the way Lia presented herself was similar to her mother. Hotch thinks back to how persistent and confident Emily seemed when she entered his office for the first time all those years ago. It was similar to how Lia behaved when she came into his office a week prior. That's when he knew the truth about Lia's parentage. Immediately, he had been overwhelmed with a myriad of emotions. But, when he looked at her, all he could see was Emily. Little did he know, all Emily could see in her was Hotch.
Confused at her father's pensive gaze, Lia clears her throat. She turned off the tv, because nothing looked good, and decided to start the conversation they needed to have.
"Hotch, we should probably talk. About everything." Lia turned to face him on the couch, and her words shocked Hotch out of his contemplative state.
"Yeah– Yeah, I guess we should." He didn't really feel like having yet another meaningful conversation, but he'd do anything for the girl. He'd known her for a week and he was already attached. "I suppose I should start from the beginning. When your mother joined the BAU, I was initially less than pleased," he chuckled at the memory, and Lia broke a smile, "She marched into my office, box of personal items in hand, and said she was supposed to start that day. From the moment I met her, I knew she was a force to be reckoned with. I also knew that neither Gideon, the senior agent at the time, nor I had approved Prent— Emily's transfer into the department. I was furious at our section chief, my boss, and I took it out on your mother. I didn't cast her more than a glance. Then, we had a case. When we returned," he spoke of the next part with a subtle smile, "she was sitting in my office, looking in the case file that I had just looked over on the flight home. She stood and gave me a perfect profile of the unsub described in the file. At that moment, I knew my life was changed forever. This woman was the most persistent, stubborn, and intelligent woman I had ever met, and she was right. I hated to admit that at the time, but she was unequivocally right when she told me she belonged on our team. I can't imagine my life without her. I definitely could not be who I am today without her. Sometimes I wonder…" Hotch trailed off as he got lost in thought again.
"Mom never told me that story. When I was little, she would tell me stories about you. She always painted you to be the hero of whatever story she told. But there was one day. I think she tried to find you. She came back and stopped telling stories about you. If your name was mentioned, she shut down. I'm afraid that'll happen again after everything that went down this week. Only time will tell. But, I have to ask, do you know what happened that weekend? It was a turning point for her. I was only five or six at the time, but even at that age I noticed that something had happened. The whole team was sad or frustrated for weeks."
Hotch thought back. That would've been around the time he had been released from protective custody. He was… He was with Haley. The team came down to visit him. The fact that Emily wasn't there solidified that he was making the right choice. "Um. I don't know, actually. She never came to see me, but Dave, Morgan, and Reid did. I think I remember when you're talking about. The team came down to surprise me with the news that I was free. I assumed that Emily not showing up meant that she had moved on. Maybe she saw something or heard something or… I don't know." His head was starting to hurt. The fact that Emily knew about his relationship with Haley was making everything worse. He knew he had hurt her without even knowing about it. He didn't know how to fix it. Taking a deep breath, he decided Lia deserved to know everything. "I was trying to make things work again with my ex wife at the time you described. I'm beginning to think that Emily caught wind of that and avoided actually seeing me when she came to find me. I mean, it makes sense. If she thought I had moved on, she probably thought I wouldn't come back to the both of you. Or if I did, it would be for the wrong reasons." He had never felt so disappointed in himself and his decisions. If he had remained confident that his team would be able to find Foyet in a timely manner, he wouldn't have spent that time with Haley. He could've been with his real fam— He couldn't think about that. What didn't happen didn't happen. Thinking about the possibilities of what could have been would never change the past.
"Mom's the strongest person I know. She was trying to protect you and I by sacrificing what she wanted." Lia looked up in wonder. She knew her mother was amazing, but this was a new level of selflessness. As she grew up, Lia began to realize just how much her mother sacrificed for her. Even in the past week, Lia had learned so much about what had really been going on when she was young. Although she wasn't happy with how things had gone down in the hospital room, she was starting to understand where her mother was coming from. She had gone so far to protect everyone in her life, and she was scared it was all for nothing. She didn't want anyone to get hurt, yet by doing so, she was hurting herself.
"Your mother has impressed me with her dedication and persistence since the day we met. I see a lot of her qualities in you. While I wish I could've been here to see you grow up, I must say, Emily did a damn good job of raising you herself. I couldn't be prouder of you both. I am forever sorry that I didn't come home ten years ago. I thought… I don't know what I thought. I wanted to try to make things work for my son, Jack. I quickly realized that wasn't fair to anyone, but by then it was too late." He spoke steadily, but slowly. It was as if he calculated every word. The words he didn't say made the sentences all the more powerful. As the conversation continued, Hotch was beginning to feel worse for how he had treated the girls. He didn't think Emily would wait on him forever. He didn't even know Lia existed. Regardless, he spent the rest of the evening mentally kicking himself even harder than he had been all week. He could make excuses for himself all he wanted, but the fact was, he missed his chance. He made the wrong decision ten years prior, and now he was paying the price. However tragic that may be, it was true.