Foreword: Hey folks! I know it's been a while but I've been nervously sitting on this chapter for some time. It's dramatic and revealing and, phew. Writing this one made me realize how far I've gotten into the lives of these original characters and I can't thank you enough for being here and being invested in this world I've weaved. On that note, I've noticed I use a few faceclaims of my own when I write for these characters and wanted to share a little cast list I put together. If you don't picture everyone the same way, that's okay of course! but this helps me get in the mindset I need when I write so many people in the same scenes. You can find it at this link: bit . ly / 3r856OC (without the spaces!)
Warnings: family dramatics, mental health, a tiny smut break in the middle
After coming home, the first few nights Bucky slept in the spare room he simply blamed it on the time difference adjustment. But, every night leading up to their Christmas trip up to Boston, he didn't even make any effort to join Steve and Avery in their bedroom. He only ever ventured to the top floor of the house to occasionally grab some clothes and drop off the laundry baskets.
It made Avery even angrier about the entire situation. What difference did it make that he was back in Brooklyn if he was keeping just as much distance from her? It was his silent indifference that really killed her.
Steve had given up trying to placate her. He was truly in a difficult position. It's not that he was playing both sides - he was still very upset that Bucky had taken off. But given all the gaps of time where he didn't have Bucky in his life before, Steve was much better at separating those feelings. He and Bucky had gotten back into a comfortable rapport much quicker than Avery and Bucky. It left Steve feeling a lot of guilt and he was worried Avery's resentment would grow beyond repair.
Things were just as hard when they traveled to Boston for Christmas, too. Avery was insistent they were going to come across as their normal selves. Steve didn't argue. Bucky volunteered to stay home.
"We all deserve a nice Christmas break," Avery said quietly. She pulled open the passenger door of the Jeep and offered Bucky a small smile. "Please Buck."
And things were perfectly fine. If anyone noticed a change in their relationship, they kept it to themselves. Well, except for Avery's sister Lora. At first, Avery had been grateful her sister and sister-in-law's plans to visit Allie's family in Hawaii had changed. But the more time they spent at the family house, the shorter Avery's fuse was.
Lora had always been nosey - but that week at home had her dialing it up to eleven. Avery was always relieved when her sister and Allie headed home to their apartment after any family gathering. It meant avoiding her sister's questions about how things were going and how they had fared without Bucky and did she hear about Crystal and Seth getting a divorce?
It was driving Avery crazy.
On their last night in Boston, Avery, Bucky, Steve, Allie and Lora were down in the family room watching a movie. Avery was cuddled up with Steve on one couch while Bucky leaned against the couch below them, Rocky at his side. Allie and Lora were stretched out on the other, both sitting up as the credits were rolling.
Lora stretched her arms out, glancing across the room to her sister. "I guess we should go - considering we're currently on Bucky's bed, right?"
Avery wasn't sure if she was just tired or frustrated or what - but her sister's snarky comment and the accompanying knowing look hit a nerve. She pushed herself up from her position against Steve's chest and turned. "Yes, Lora. We share a California king at home so piling onto the queen bed in the spare room is a bit much for us. Bucky volunteered to take the couch. Did you have something else to say?" She felt Steve drop a hand on her shoulder.
Lora scoffed. "Why are you so defensive all the time, Avery?"
"Because, Lora Marie, I can read between the lines."
"Avery, c'mon," Steve murmured behind her. Across the room, Allie was trying to herd her wife towards the stairs.
Avery pulled away from Steve and stood up, grabbing the remote and turning off the TV. It fell from her hand and returned to the table with a loud thud.
Bucky shifted to sit beside Steve on the couch, sharing a concerned glance. Rocky, meanwhile, took a few steps towards Avery. He nudged her leg with his nose and for a fraction of a second, Avery paused and breathed. Maybe this wasn't how she wanted to end their Christmas holiday. She just needed to hug her sister goodbye and scream into a pillow.
Lora raised an eyebrow and stood the same, following Avery as she started to tidy up the space. Avery grabbed the half empty chip bowls and stacked them as she moved towards the staircase. Lora spoke quietly. "Listen, I was trying to just keep it to myself but are you okay? You seem a lot more strung out than usual. And, honestly Ave, I'm not the only one who noticed the weird energy between you and your boyfriends. Suzanne and I were talking ab-
"You talked to Suzanne? About my relationship?" Avery was suddenly realizing this impending fight with her sister would be better handled privately. She dropped the chip bowls on the nearest surface, grabbed her sister's hand and guided her toward the laundry room, an area that was barely hidden away from everyone else and definitely not soundproof.
Lora stood with her arms crossed, eyes narrowed at her sister. This entire situation was new - usually when they bickered Avery would just sigh and walk away. But this time, she seemed on edge and ready to argue.
"We're just worried about you," Lora continued, her voice lower than before. "Considering how long Bucky was gone and your fall down the stairs and.." She trailed off, tilting her head curiously. "The brain is a really tricky thing to balance and we know you've been through a lot but.. You're still taking your meds, right?"
Avery groaned, rapidly shaking her head. "If you're worried about me, you should talk to me about it directly instead of dad's girlfriend!" She clenched her teeth together. "And yes, I'm still taking my fucking meds, Lora. That's not an appropriate question and you know that. I'm fine. My relationship is fine and you really need to work on your approach."
"Well, maybe you need to change your dose because to put it lightly: you have been insufferable this entire week." Lora huffed. "I'm worried about you."
Avery could feel the storm raging in her stomach. Her fists curled at her side, glaring as her sister casually wandered around the laundry room. There did not seem to be even one ounce of sincerity in her tone.
"What are you so worried about?" Avery spat back, eyes wide as she attempted to suppress her anger. "And why on Earth are you bringing it up right now?"
Lora rolled her eyes. "Is there a specific schedule we should be following for expressing concern about each other?"
"Well, you know we're heading home tomorrow so this seems like some weird hail Mary power move, in typical Lora fashion. You really love your undying need to know everything and fix everything and make sure it's in a nice, tidy order." Avery felt bad about her remark, really. She did. But she had been storing so much emotionally - that she just did not have time to worry about Lora's feelings. And her sister had always been the type to pay less attention to Avery's feelings anyway - something about a youngest child complex.
Lora sucked in a hard breath and narrowed her eyes. "You are severely overreacting right now - I'm just looking out for you."
Avery scoffed. "Looking out for me? You just spoke down to me about my medication dosage, Lora. For a nurse, you have a very special way of expressing care. Don't they give you classes on empathy and bedside manner?" For a moment, Avery saw something crack in her sister's facade. She couldn't pinpoint it and as soon as she recognized it, it disappeared and Lora charged ahead anyway. She charged with confidence and a smug twisted frown.
"Please know I mean this in the most constructive way: I really like Bucky and Steve but there's likely only so much they will put up with, Ave." Lora reached her hand out to grab her sister's shoulder. "I think you need to really figure your shit out before they change their minds."
A low guttural scream left Avery's lips. She turned suddenly, throwing her right fist into the drywall beside the door frame. Before either girl could react to Avery's bout of rage, Steve was rushing around the corner and grabbing Avery. He pulled her towards the half bathroom down the hall, closing the door behind them as she dropped onto the toilet seat. Her chest heaved with sobs as she tried to catch her breath.
Steve crouched in front of her with his hands planted on her knees. "Sweetheart, you've gotta breathe, okay?" Slowly, he talked her down from a panic attack. This was a very normal process for the two of them now - as if soothing the other through their mental health struggles was as regular as tying their shoes.
Blowing up at her sister wasn't surprising. It felt like they had been walking on eggshells for a long time. Also not surprising was Lora and Allie leaving without another word to any of them, though likely trading pleasantries and goodbye hugs with their dad. When Steve and Avery finally left the bathroom, Bucky was pacing around the family room with Rocky slowly trailing behind. A stack of blankets was on the couch but he hadn't made up his spot to sleep yet.
Avery kept her head down, safely tucked underneath Steve's arm as he directed them towards the spare bedroom.
Bucky caught Steve's gaze, swallowing hard as Steve slowly shook his head. Bucky reached for one of the pillows and tossed it down on the couch, resigning to his fate.
As a kid, Avery only had tea when she felt sick. Her mother, on the other hand, was an avid tea drinker. Tea was for more than just when you weren't feeling well - it was conversational and soothing. It could warm you from the inside out. And perhaps it had something to do with being the youngest, but Avery always remembered Lora having her own little teacup with their mom, too.
So now, as her little sister was sitting across the kitchen table from her, clearly struggling with something, all Avery could think to do first was provide tea. That's what their mother would have done, she was sure of it.
And second to that, even though Avery wanted to dig in her heels and remain guarded with her sister - she wasn't certain about where they stood, considering how they had left things after Christmas, but her heart ached seeing the crestfallen look on Lora's face. Avery watched as her sister fiddled with the tiny piece of paper at the end of her tea bag.
Finally, Lora tipped her head up enough to look at her sister. "I said a lot of awful things to you at Christmas."
Avery bit her lip. Well, that wasn't an apology but it felt like a start. "Yeah, you kind of did. I'd love to know why." She squeezed her hands into tight fists as they rested on her lap, carefully considering how the rest of this conversation was going to go.
Lora took in a breath and let it out slowly. "Uhm, so. Okay. I guess.." Her fingers traced along the handle of the warm mug. "To make a long story short, I've been on leave from work since the middle of December… not by choice."
"Oh my god, Lo. What happened?"
"It's kind of complicated but at the end of the day, I fucked up and a patient nearly died and then I fought with my clinical lead and, well, it was really just a climax of a very tough season for me and Allie." Lora shook her head. "You know, after everyone disappeared.. After you disappeared.. I threw myself into my job. Then mom got sick and I took care of her until.." Her eyes shut tight. "For a very, very long time I've been ignoring these things going on in my mind, that I thought were maybe just quirks or just a lot of little things I was really worried about. These endless, ongoing constant things that I could never really quite fix or execute how I wanted."
Avery knew her sister really well. She was a hard worker, she cared very passionately about her job in healthcare, and she always liked to follow the rules. Maybe there were some things Lora had been very particular about but Avery had always just chalked it up to her sister's Type A personality. But now, seeing Lora's story unravel in front of her, she couldn't help but try to piece together where this was going.
Lora took a second to sip her tea then finally looked up and met Avery's soft stare. "Longer story even shorter, I've been seeing a therapist and just trying to work on myself, I guess. I can't go back to work until I have a full assessment deeming I'm ready and that seems to be far off still. It's looking like a mix of post traumatic stress and obsessive compulsive disorder."
Avery opened her mouth to reply then shut it quickly. While she had been anticipating an awkward apology cry with her sister, she wasn't expecting that. Lora had always been hyper particular about how she liked things and Avery hadn't considered compounding that with whatever leftover trauma existed for her following The Snap. But dammit, Avery knew herself and her own recovery well enough to realize that projecting her own stuff onto others wasn't a solution.
"Listen, Lo.. I love you so much and I'm glad you're getting help for all this." She reached her hand out to clasp Lora's and took a deep breath. "But you've gotta understand that doesn't make all the things you said -
"Oh god, I know Avery. I know." Lora tipped her head down and squeezed her sister's hand. "All that stuff I said to you, that was inexcusable. I just.. I'm a mess. I feel like me and Allie are one more fight away from divorce at this point. Fighting with you seemed safer. Like we used to do, we always bounced back and then this time.." Lora's voice cracked and her head fell. "I'm so sorry."
Although Avery had been waiting for some sort of apology, she truly felt no satisfaction or relief at her sister's confession. In fact, she somehow felt immensely worse instead.
"Hey," Avery let out a long breath and pushed her chair back to stand, very quickly walking to the other side of the table. "C'mere." With a simple nudge she encouraged her sister to stand and promptly wrapped her arms around her. Avery could feel her sister give in to her feelings, sobbing into her chest. She held her tightly - as if she might leave or disappear or push her away.
Avery thought she knew her sister pretty well - she had a lifetime of experience in how to deal with her shifts in mood and her demand for things being her way. And although Avery's own anger had softened, it didn't undo the underlying pain she still felt from their argument during the holidays.
"Lo, we bounced back all the time before because you're my baby sister and sometimes fighting between sisters is just part of life. You know, it wasn't worth the hassle to hold a grudge." Avery pulled away enough to look down at her. Gently, she moved her hand to brush the mess of hair away from Lora's forehead. "But projecting your shit onto me isn't fair. Me, Steve and Bucky had a really hard time in the fall but you didn't see me picking fights to deal with my feelings." Not with people outside her relationship, at least.
Lora sighed. "Well, that's because you have a tendency to bottle your shit up, Avery Ray." She shook her head. "I didn't mean to pick a fight… it just happened, I guess." She shrugged helplessly and Avery could see the guilt and remorse in her eyes. "I really am sorry. I should not have gone at you like that, especially in that setting. My therapist is trying to hone into my control problem.. I promise I'm working on it."
Avery gave her sister another squeeze then released her before they returned to their chairs. The air felt lighter between them finally, at least. "I'm sorry, you know. I said a lot of reactive things during that fight, too." She shook her head. "How's Allie doing with all of this?"
Lora raised a shoulder to shrug. "It hasn't been easy. She just feels what I'm feeling a lot and that really drives up my guilt. She really wants to have a baby soon and I don't think we're there yet, especially with all this and.. It's a lot." She paused, looking up at Avery through her lashes. "She was the one who really caught onto you and your boys at Christmas, you know. She said you three just seemed very tense, distant. Suzanne and I barely talked about it, truthfully. I was just, well, stirring the pot, I guess."
"Yeah… well." Avery took in a sharp breath. "Allie wasn't wrong." They were so far past that time now but the ghosts of those feelings remained for Avery, Bucky and Steve. The distance, the uncertainty, the residual pain, the feeling of walking on eggshells.
"But things are better now?" Lora pressed.
Avery noticed the difference in her sister's tone in that moment more than ever. It seemed as if the old Lora was gone - the one who was painfully curious and ready to solve problems. The shell of her sister remaining was guarded, concerned. No longer was she seeking out gossip, but instead she wanted clarity, understanding.
"The hurdles keep coming, honestly. But that chapter seems over," Avery finally managed to reply, carefully choosing her words and praying her voice wouldn't crack and give her away. She was telling the truth, of course. The Incident seemed like a very long time ago most days and she couldn't be more grateful for how they had grown in their relationship since then. But as time moved on and more problems popped up in their life, Avery conceded that things were never just going to be easy.
Easy? No. Normal? Maybe one day. When people with bad intentions weren't getting in the way of their relationship, when everyone was taking care of their mental health correctly, when people stopped coming back from the dead.
Really, what could their normal look like?
"So yes, we are better," Avery concluded, a tiny half smile on her face. "For the time being." It occurred to her suddenly that repairing this situation with her sister might be short lived. Tomorrow, when Nash would be over for dinner and Avery finally had to expose the bigger truth about Jeremy to them both, it was more than likely things were going to fall apart again. "And I'm glad we're better, Lo. Or getting there, at least. And I'm proud of you for working on yourself. Take it from me, that's not an easy thing to focus on."
"Me too," Lora sighed. "I've been feeling empty since the New Year. Your absence definitely contributed to it."
Avery bit back a sassy reply and grabbed her phone. "I guess I can unblock you from my Instagram stories now."
"God, you're the worst," Lora laughed. "Yes, please. I miss seeing all your videos of Rocky and Alpine."
As if on cue - or Avery guessed maybe he had been listening from the steps - the front door opened up and Rocky's hurried steps sounded out, with Bucky calling for him to wait. "Rocky! We need to dry off your feet.. Oh, you're a lost cause, pal."
Avery shifted on her chair and beamed as their dog made his way to her, back half wiggling with excitement. "There's my boy. How was your walk?" She leaned in and gave Rocky the attention he was looking for and as Bucky caught up to them, towel in hand, he glanced at both sisters quickly.
Avery looked up and flashed him a sincere smile, doing everything in her power to express that they were okay and he had nothing to worry about. Despite that, he seemed to be repressing a frown. He crouched down to start drying off Rocky's feet but kept his eyes on Avery.
Bucky tipped his head as he scanned her face. "Why is your cheek swollen?"
"A small mishap at the gym this morning," she said nonchalantly but the look Bucky gave her didn't change. He didn't say anything else, instead finishing off his task of cleaning Rocky's wet feet and putting away the groceries he had picked up for dinner. She had a feeling she'd hear more of his opinions about her face later.
"You should probably put some ice on it," Lora added, matter of factly. Ah, there she was.
Bucky called from the kitchen. "I was just going to say that!"
Despite Avery's insistence that the swelling of her cheek had come during a fight that had been entirely consensual and well balanced when it came to an opponent, both Steve and Bucky were irritated that she had sustained any kind of bodily harm. On top of everything else that was going on, the last thing she wanted to do was argue with them about it, though.
Instead, she just agreed when they suggested she show them what she had been learning. Their houseguests were upstairs still while they were down in the basement training space. The basement level of the house felt much colder - mostly thanks to the poor insulation and original brick walls. But still, it worked well enough to house a generous number of weights, an enforced heavy bag, some cardio equipment and full mat coverage across the floor.
"You know, Raya, from the gym," Avery started while she was wrapping her knuckles, looking up briefly to see Steve and Bucky chatting at the opposite end of the space. "She said I was a natural fighter."
"I could have told you that," Bucky called back to her, stretching his arms out and above his head. "Doesn't mean you need to be getting punched up at some boxing gym."
"Has it occurred to you that I am enjoying the challenge?" She shot up an eyebrow as they both watched her warm up against the hanging punching bag.
"I don't want you developing these skills for the wrong reason." Steve closed in the space between himself and the punching bag, holding it steady for her as she threw her fists into it.
She sucked in a breath and kept her eyes straight ahead, ignoring his look. "And I don't want to argue with you about this again."
"Well, neither me or Buck have changed our minds. So." Steve pulled the bag to the side to stop her momentum, grabbing her closest hand. "Avery."
This had been the exact reason why she wanted to keep her boxing and fighting developments to herself. Because Steve and Bucky didn't understand where she was coming from with her underlying wants, needs. Sure, it had all started to rid herself of that restlessness that came along with her increased strength. But now that they were getting deeper and further into the search for her brother, Avery was determined to prepare herself for their next steps. When they eventually found him, she was going with them. Wherever, whenever - she was going.
That was her plan, at least.
Bucky and Steve, on the other hand, were not even willing to entertain the idea. The whole thing had turned into an argument more than once now and everytime they listened to her positioning very carefully. They were understanding. But under no circumstances were they going to let her be involved with any sort of extraction mission.
"You're being unreasonable - we are a team. I should be able to go with you!"
Steve sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he dropped down to sit on the edge of their bed. They were supposed to be all crawling under the blankets to sleep but somehow the same topic kept weaseling it's way into their conversations.
Bucky had planted himself near the window, feet wide, arms crossed. Avery matched his pose near the bedroom door, face scrunched up in frustration.
"Ave, come on. This is all hypothetical until we have any more information. We don't even know if it'll be up to us to go collect him when we find him. Rhodey might insist on getting some bigger players involved."
"You made it very clear that you would be involved every step of the way," she countered, turning her head to look at Steve. "Right?"
"Sure," Steve waved his hand nonchalantly. "It's still our investigation. But we have absolutely no control over what is going on. We don't have any clue where we'll find him, who else might be there, anything. It's too dangerous to even think about bringing you along."
"He's my brother." That was her strongest argument. "He'll need to see a familiar face. Please."
"Avery," Bucky's voice dropped as he took a few steps towards her. "C'mon, sweetheart. The potential result does not outweigh the potential risks if you were to come along. We will not put your safety and wellbeing in jeopardy for this. End of discussion."
She let out a frustrated groan. "Is there anything I can do to convince you otherwise?"
Steve sighed again, pushing his brow up in consideration. "Become bulletproof and invincible, to start."
Bucky's lips turned up into a smirk as he reached his arms out and pulled her in for a hug. "Then show us you can take down an entire team of bad guys without breaking a sweat."
Avery sighed and sent one last punch into the bag, at full force. She smiled to herself when Steve had to take a step back to absorb it, even through the heavy leather between them. "Let me just show you what I've been learning, okay? For no reason other then, I don't know, self defense and cardiovascular health."
She was well aware that both of her boyfriends were going to limit themselves when it came to their own endurance and force. But with that in mind, she still decided to give the challenge her utmost attention and focus.
It was Steve who decided to act as the opponent in this scenario. Bucky wouldn't admit it out loud, but even though the foundation of his relationship with Avery had started with self defense lessons, he couldn't bring himself to fight with her in any capacity now. But, he was very interested in watching her fight with Steve.
Their 'match' started slowly, with light ribbing as Avery slid her feet to circle opposite him. When her fists went up, so did Steve's. Then, she went for it. Her fists moved quickly - much quicker than she had done over the last few months.
Steve blocked her with ease, of course. And for a moment, he saw hesitation in Avery's eyes. As he threw up his right hand again, he slowed down. "Listen, Ave, we don't have to -"
As his fist swung towards her, she leapt forward, wrapping her arm around his torso as his arm went over the top of her head. Using her momentum, she swung around his side and jumped onto his back, pulling him down and into a backwards roll. Her own body went backwards too but she managed to send herself to the side instead. She hopped into a crouching position over top of him as he laid on his back, eyes blown open in surprise.
"I thought you were just learning to box, Ave." He took a few long breaths and lolled his head to the side to look at Bucky, who was standing with a similar look on his face on the other side of the mat. "Did you see that?"
Bucky, who was split somewhere between shock and pride over what he had just witnessed, just shook his head. "I wish I had gotten it on video, even."
Steve laughed in agreement. "So, let's try that again."
Of course when they were on their feet and facing each other again, Steve tried a tiny bit harder. Predicting Avery's moves and fighting back, with resistance and less intensity than he might usually exert, proved a refreshing challenge. She barely held back though. With increased focus on her goals, she tried to tap into everything she had learned to see how she could best him.
Bucky, meanwhile, cheered her on from the sidelines.
Steve swatted at her with more intensity and precision eventually. Avery kept her distance, focusing on whatever she could anticipate he might be plotting as their hands smacked at each other. When he grabbed a hold of her wrist with a sly smirk, she sucked in a breath and took a step back before propelling herself towards him, hinging at the waist.
Both her feet left the ground as her legs wrapped around his waist. Her free hand gripped the back of his neck as she pulled him down towards the ground, grateful for the gravity working in her favour.
Steve buckled at his knees and his torso landed against her chest. When he tried to pull back, her ankles were locked together behind him. Typically someone Avery's size wouldn't leave him in such a compromised state but her strength made her a better match for him than he had anticipated.
"Damn," he muttered out, tapping her shoulder for her to ease up. He sat up on his heels, though her legs remained tightly locked behind his backside, keeping his waist flush against hers. "I'm, uh, impressed, Ave. Really."
She beamed as she looked up towards him, blushing at his kind words of praise. Although the heat on her face wasn't from just that - she could feel just how impressed Steve was, especially where their hips met. She took a few deep breaths as she recovered then slid her tongue across her lips. "I'm glad you, uhm, enjoyed yourself."
When she tipped her head to the side to look for Bucky, who had been sitting at the edge of the mat the last time she looked, she noticed he had moved to a standing position. His arms were crossed over his chest and it looked like he was doing a few breathing exercises. "What did you think, Bucky?"
Bucky just laughed, shifting his jaw back and forth as he looked at her underneath Steve. "What did you say last night? About house guests and appropriate rules?" His right fist raised slowly and suddenly he was biting on a knuckle.
Steve cleared his throat, closing his eyes tight.
It was obvious to Avery that this tussle had turned both her boyfriends on. She had worried this would lead to more arguments but, well, this outcome was better. Much better.
"No sex unless there is two floors of distance," Avery answered Bucky, slowly trailing her hands up Steve's biceps as his arms gripped the skin above the waistband of her leggings. "So, last night, house guests sleeping one floor away from us - frowned upon."
"But if they're in the kitchen and we are all the way in the basement?" Bucky was already pulling off his shirt and closing in the space between himself and his partners.
"I think that's fair game then," Steve answered for all of them, peeling off his own shirt and wrapping his arms around Avery's waist, swiftly rolling them over so she was safely mounted on top of him, instead. With quick hands she was tearing off her sports bra and she gasped when she felt Bucky behind her, having kneeled between Steve's legs and attached his lips to her neck. How did he move so silently?
"Avery, baby," Bucky whimpered as he pressed himself against her, gently nudging her down so she could meet Steve's mouth. "Christ, that was good. So good. The way you handled Stevie - how you made him grunt, fuck."
Avery giggled, moving closer to Steve's body so she could nip at his shoulders. "We should wrestle more often, I guess." It was clear Steve agreed, given how he was sending his wet lips across her neck, sucking hard and occasionally biting to get a reaction out of her, too.
Bucky trailed his own open mouth kisses against her shoulders and the dip between them, moving his hands over her like he'd never touched her before. Soon enough, he was tugging off her leggings and underwear. She let out an excited yelp as he did, and as he managed to finish undressing Steve and himself, too.
As soon as she felt Steve's hot mouth cover her nipple and Bucky's hand slide to that spot between her legs, Avery was writhing between them. "Oh fuck, I want you both."
Bucky chuckled, using his free hand to stroke himself. "Maybe we should plant some lube throughout the house for times like this." He flicked his fingers against her clit and grinned when a quiet whimper escaped her. "Don't worry, we'll just take turns. Right, Stevie?" Bucky adjusted then, moving his hand to help give Steve a moment of relief too.
And then, Bucky was guiding Steve into her and, well, Bucky let his mouth take off, too. As Steve thrusted up into her, hands gripping her hips and mouth ravaging any skin he could, Bucky couldn't help but encourage them. "Baby, how does Stevie feel? It's nice to get some of that tension out, isn't it? Oh, when you tackled him to the ground - Avery, I swear, I could have come right then - oh baby, that's good, look at you - look at how you handle him."
When Steve slowed, Bucky took it as a sign of passing the baton - he leaned forward and stole his own kiss from Steve, long and slow, before pulling her hips back and filling in that empty space that Steve had slipped out of. And, God, Avery just whined between them.
Steve smiled up at her, more than content to watch the action happening over top. And as Avery panted and moaned, he reached his hand up to brush the sticky mess of hair away from her eyes. "Let us take care of you, sweetheart." Avery leaned her cheek into his hand, turning to kiss against his open palm. "You can handle us, right? Good girl - so strong, fuck. You can handle anything."
"I swear I'm not trying to be rude or start a fight, but you seem a little stressed, Ave," Lora spoke cautiously as she stood at the kitchen island with her sister, bumping elbows as they prepped a salad to accompany the pizza that had been ordered for dinner. "Like you're… not on edge but… near it?" Lora tipped her head to look at her sister. "Close to the edge?"
Avery sighed, stilling her hands as she tore up the lettuce. "Thank you for your concern, maybe you need to work on your word choice, though." She attempted to smile, trying to placate the worried look on her sister's face. "I'm fine. Just… tired."
That seemed to satisfy Lora enough. She very quickly finished off her task and grabbed her wine glass before heading towards the living room where Bucky and Allie were sitting.
Closing her eyes tight, Avery took in a long, deep breath and tried to center herself. She could handle this, she could handle anything.
After their morning in the gym, Bucky and Steve had stolen away to the Brooklyn Bijou to catch an old matinee. Avery had insisted they go - she needed some time alone to study and they deserved time together without her, too. All afternoon she moved around the empty house, attempting to get comfortable and in the headspace to be productive. But instead, she found herself constantly staring off into the nothingness, thinking only about how the evening ahead was going to play out with her siblings and the giant, scary truth she had to deliver to them.
She knew it had to happen and she knew that after she told them, she'd be free of the weight that seemed to be collapsing her chest. Even if the worst case scenario happened, whatever that might exactly be depended on who was asked, she knew it could all be redeemable and something they could recover from. Or she hoped and prayed that was the truth, at least.
Now, she was just waiting in a weird grey area. Dinner would be delivered soon, Nash would be showing up within the half hour and then, well, everything would be on the table. Physically and metaphorically speaking.
It was going to be fine. Everything would be fine.
She left the salad ready to go on the counter and tried not to pace around the kitchen.
Everything would be fine.
"You alright?" The low timber of Steve's voice crept up on her as she spun on her heel, meeting his eyes as he walked into the kitchen. His arms were crossed over his chest but his brow was furrowed slightly, worry etching itself into his expression even more than usual, it seemed. He stood still when he saw her standing there, staring back blankly before he cleared his throat and spoke again, "Avery?"
"Yes, yes," she responded quickly, too quickly. Her hands twisted together in front of her before she dropped them to her side. "Just, well, you know. The feeling of anticipation can be overwhelming."
Steve nodded. Of course he knew. Even under the low light in their kitchen, he didn't need to search his girlfriend's face to recognize the permanent worry she was trying to hide. "Maybe this will go better than you think."
She softened a bit, letting a small smile grow on her face at his positive outlook. "Yeah, maybe."
He crossed the kitchen, pulling her into the tight embrace of his arms. His fresh scent consumed her in a wave of comfort. The textured lines of his sweater gave her a moment to trace along his back, unusually comforted by the feeling. The way it fit around his torso, hugging him so tightly like a second skin, gave her goosebumps. She sighed happily as his lips found their way to her neck in response, softly and slowly trying to kiss away what remained of her unease.
Knocking at the front door followed by an overly cautious Rocky hurrying in that direction broke Steve and Avery from their position. She took in one more deep breath, stepping back from him to collect herself again.
Bucky had taken on responsibility for greeting at the door and Avery and Steve followed in that direction, too, exiting the kitchen and heading down the hallway towards the front of the house. She brushed her hands off against her jeans and fiddled with her own sweater, smiling when she felt Steve's hand on her shoulder.
Everything was going to be fine. She could handle anything.
Bucky pulled the door open and at the top of the steps, on the other side of the threshold, stood Nash, with a bottle of wine in hand. His other arm, though, was extended to the side, tucked gently behind the woman that stood with him.
Avery's eyes grew wide when she realized her brother hadn't arrived alone. And just when she thought it would be impossible for her to predict any other bizarre way their night might go, her brother spoke up.
"Hey, uh, surprise! I know you'd been wondering when you get to meet my girlfriend," Nash crossed into the house and tugged his girlfriend's hand as he did.
His girlfriend.
His girlfriend, Avery's old best friend she had sort of recently rekindled things with. Nash had shown up with his girlfriend Crystal.
Aside from a few rapid flutters of her eyelashes, Avery felt frozen as she heard her brother speak. Lora came barrelling into the cramped foyer of the house in excitement, exclaiming loudly how thrilled she was about this relationship reveal.
Avery supposed feeling blindsided by it all was only natural but good lord, did it have to be tonight? On top of everything else she was trying to come to terms with, all of a sudden her brother and her old friend had to become public with their relationship status? And she didn't even want to start on how inconsiderate it was to show up to a dinner with an extra guest without forewarning or even asking the hosts and -
She felt Steve's hand squeeze her shoulder and every so gently he nudged her forward. She blinked a few more times to return to earth and then she realized Crystal was talking to her.
"Ah, Avery, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about this a few weeks ago. Admittedly, we didn't know how to spill it to your family and Nash thought this was maybe the best opportunity. Like ripping off a Band-Aid, you know?" By the time Crystal was pulling Avery into a hug, she finally found her voice again.
"Wow, what a surprise," Avery murmured as she pulled away from Crystal. Avery felt conflicted as she saw the pained look of concern on her face.
"Is this okay?" Crystal asked quietly.
"Yes, of course," Avery replied and god, she hoped the insincerity of her voice was hidden enough. Over Crystal's shoulder, Avery caught Bucky's stare as he hung up their coats.
Okay, clearly it was finally Avery's turn to talk with her eyes.
She offered Bucky a smile and a short nod. I'm fine. She turned and looked at Steve, too. I promise I'm good.
Neither of them seemed to believe her. She offered Steve an exaggerated thumbs up and when she turned to do the same to Bucky, she found her brother heading her way.
"Avery Ray, I hope you're not mad," Nash said with a smirk, walking at her side as they all headed into the living room. Lora had pulled Crystal onto the couch between herself and Allie, desperately asking for the annoying details about Nash's lack of romance skills. Avery could sense Bucky and Steve lingering in the front foyer, speaking quietly to each other.
"I mean, a heads up would have been helpful. Luckily we always order extra pizza, " Avery finally responded, throwing her elbow to the side to gently nudge her brother's ribs. "I'm not sure how I didn't put two and two together here." That was a very true statement. Her brother had been secretly dating someone for months now and had kept it so close to his chest that Avery was starting to believe that maybe he had been making it all up. But the facts that Crystal had provided about her new boyfriend made so much more sense now. "Hey. You better not hurt her."
Nash turned his head, grinning, thinking that Avery was attempting to make some sort of joke. When he saw her stoic stare, his face fell. "Do you not have any faith in me? Wow. I really lo-" He stopped himself, dropping his voice as he gazed across the room at his girlfriend. "I care about Crystal a lot. It's the real thing, I hope."
Avery pursed her lips. Damnit. She never heard her brother talk about his feelings so effortlessly, as if his guard had been down for a long time now. And if that was because of Crystal, Avery had no right to be mad or upset about any of it. Right?
It just felt like terrible, terrible timing. She now had to crush this good news high with something painful.
"I'm happy for you," Avery finally spit out as her words caught up to her brain. "Really. Here I thought you might be a bachelor forever." She smiled when Nash threw his arm over her shoulder, bringing her in close for a hug.
He chuckled and let go, giving her shoulder one last gentle squeeze before joining everyone else in the living room.
Avery, meanwhile, needed a fucking minute to process. She lingered very quietly in the hallway then headed back to the kitchen, thinking about how every scenario she had tried to anticipate didn't account for this. The news about Jeremy - she wanted to deliver it privately, intimately. Sure, Crystal had been a part of their family for a long time but then, well, they had a rough history and her added presence had thrown a wrench in the whole thing.
It annoyed her, even, that Avery was letting this one change in plans derail her so much. What would Evelyn tell her? In that fancy therapist kind of way? Something profoundly simple, probably, like: you are allowed to change your mind.
Avery took a long deep breath, pausing to feel her lungs inflate. The exhale drew out slowly, centering her as she rested her hands against the nearest countertop. She heard a few shuffling feet and when she cast her eyes upwards, she found both Steve and Bucky looking at her with curiosity and concern.
She stilled once more and looked between them. "I've changed my mind. I need to do this on my own."
Bucky raised his eyebrows and looked over at Steve. They shared some sort of silent communication while Avery stood and watched.
"Okay. If that's what you want, that's okay with us," Bucky answered for them both. "But if you need me or Steve to intervene -
"Yes, I know. Thank you." She grabbed Bucky's hand then Steve's, giving them both one last squeeze before exhaling. She took a step forward and looked towards the living room. "Nash, Lo - I need to talk to you about something. Just us." She watched as her sister raised a curious eyebrow and looked at Nash. He just shrugged.
Avery motioned to the stairs. "C'mon."
"Okay, so." Avery paced a few more times in the office before stopping her feet and dropping into the closest wheely chair in front of the desks. Across the room, her siblings had taken seats on the couch. Lora wasperched on the very edge, hands on her knees as she watched Avery carefully. Nash sat closest to the door, looking uninterested already. "Do you remember that summer when Dad told us we were moving? I think it was right before 6th grade for me."
Nash leaned back further onto the couch. "I remember you freaking out about having to start at a new middle school."
Lora tapped against her knees. "I think I remember. Mom was pretty unhappy for a few weeks." She paused and snapped her head to look at Avery. "Oh my god. Are you moving?"
"What? No, no." Avery shook her head. "Like I could ever convince Steve and Bucky to leave Brooklyn." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I was just thinking about that the other day. I remember feeling so mad that Dad's role was just making the decisions for us. And I also remember Jeremy being the voice of reason."
"Of course," Nash added quietly. "He was always so diplomatic. He really tried to sell Louisiana to me. In fact, I'm pretty sure he was excited because he could start visiting the Air Force base there with dad on the weekends."
"And he started talking in that stupid accent at dinner every night. Mom was so annoyed," Lora laughed.
Avery smiled, too. "Then weeks later when the transfer was cancelled, Jer had already convinced us moving would have been fine but staying was okay, too. As long as we were together."
"God, he was such a sap." Nash shook his head while a heavy pause filled the room. "What does this story have to do with anything?"
"I need to tell you something. Something that is so crazy, so absolutely unbelievable that you just… you won't believe me. But I need you to listen." Her resolve was already breaking but she continued on, nodding in reassurance to herself. "I need you to hear what I have to say."
"Avery.." Lora sat forward even more, like she was about to fall off the couch. "Just say whatever it is. You're freaking me out."
Avery glanced at Nash, who had absolutely no reaction on his face. Great.
"Okay. I still have a hard time saying this out loud but.." She closed her eyes, doing everything in her power to ignore the roaring of her heart and just how quickly her pulse seemed to be increasing in pace. "Jeremy is alive. All the details are unclear but the plane crash didn't kill him, he's.. He's still alive. Bucky and Sam… they found him in France."
A deafening silence followed her statement. The air of the office was suddenly heavy with something tense and hard and when Avery opened her eyes to see how her brother and sister were reacting, she was met with a pair of wide eyes and blank stares.
"What the fuck?" Nash's words echoed through the room. "I just.. What the fuck, Avery? What are you saying?"
Lora's mouth had fallen open in shock but no words came to the surface. She shifted forward and nearly fell to her knees in front of the couch, twisting her face in confusion.
Avery stood from the chair and waved her hand as she tried to provide more information. "Charlie and Luke thought they saw, well, you in Paris last fall and it unravelled… Well, a turned Into an entire mess of things. But Nash, I swear, a few weeks ago, Sam and Bucky were back in Europe and they found him, they saw him in person. He's alive. Jeremy is -
"No, stop." Nash stood from the couch, head shaking back and forth again and again. "Don't say that again. This is impossible. What the fuck are you even talking about? He died, Avery."
"Nash, I know this is a lot, I was doubtful too but I can show you a photo or video. He's alive."
"Stop!" Nash's voice grew louder and louder. "Stop fucking saying that."
Avery flinched at his volume but steadied herself, trying to keep her mind on track. This wasn't a matter of disbelief, no, she knew what she was saying. She had assumed they would have their doubts just as she did. But she needed them to get it, to understand. She swallowed the lump in her throat and took a step back. "Please."
"You have a photo of him?" Lora choked out as she looked up.
"Yes, I do." Avery nodded. She glanced back to Nash who was silently stewing near the closed door. "Let me show you." It was a pleading request for him to give her the benefit of the doubt for just a few moments.
Avery swiped a file folder off the top of the desk that had some of the investigation information - although the bulk of it still remained up town at Steve's old place. With shaking hands she flipped through the pages and grabbed the photo Avery had printed of a frame from the video footage. It was the same one that had stopped her in her tracks when she saw it.
It was Jeremy - the side angle of his face was profound enough, even with the strange piece of technology surrounding his left eye.
Nash snatched the photo from her without warning and Lora shuffled over to look at it, too. She gasped as she looked at it.
"Oh my god." Lora shook her head. "How is this even possible?" she asked, her eyes still glued to the picture.
"That, we don't really know yet," Avery answered slowly, keeping her eyes on her brother as he stared at the photo. "Nash, suspend your disbelief for a second - what makes you think this isn't true? Look at what happened to Bucky."
"I don't give a shit about Bucky, Avery! People don't come back from the dead."
"Jeremy never died!" Avery countered, taking a step towards him. She reached her hand out to hold his closest arm. "I know it doesn't make sense."
He pulled away from her and reached for the doorknob. "You're right on that - it doesn't make any fucking sense. And this? This whole fucking thing?" He shook his head as he pulled the door open, pausing to look back at her before he moved again.
Avery could see the hurt in his eyes, the confusion and pain. She was sure the same look had been painted on her face when she heard the news too. But seeing Nash like this, doing everything he could not to collapse into the emotions that were spilling out, she felt so broken. And useless.
She knew things might not go well but god, to see him look at her like that really stung.
"This whole fucking thing? It's an insult to our brother's memory, Avery." He stomped down the stairs, pausing halfway to look back at Avery as she followed him. "How fucking dare you invite us here for this! It's a joke."
"Nash, why would I lie about this? What on earth do you think I'm gaining by telling you? We just want to bring him home. Please, just let us explain. There is so much more behind this and.." Avery was so focused on her brother she didn't realize everyone else had crowded around the edge of the living room. Steve and Bucky had positioned themselves close to the bottom of the stairs while Allie and Crystal watched curiously further behind them.
Avery couldn't be certain when they had all started to listen but the volume of Nash's voice must have travelled down into the house before he had hurried down the stairs.
"There is no one to bring home. Our brother is dead. I'm done here."
Her attention was drawn back to where Nash stood before she realized what he had said. She watched in silence as he turned toward the front door, his shoulders squared and his jaw set.
As he grabbed his jacket and opened the door, stepping outside, Avery called after him. "What are you doing? Come back inside."
"Hey, wait. Let me talk to him," Steve put himself between Avery and the door, giving her a reassuring look before he grabbed his own coat and followed behind Nash.
Bucky, meanwhile, crossed over to Avery and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Hey - you're okay. You did it."
Her head dropped down and she sighed. "Yeah, except Nash doesn't believe me and Lora-" She snapped her head back to the stairs and pulled away from Bucky, quickly apologizing before heading back up the stairs to find her sister.
Bucky stayed at the bottom of the stairs, somewhere between his partners, wondering how the next steps were going to go. He moved aside for a moment as Allie nudged him and hurried up the stairs, too.
Behind him, he could hear Crystal ask quietly. "Uhm, what just happened?"
Notes: the drama, I know! I KNOW. I promise we're building up to some good stuff. Based on my current plot plan, this story should hit around 25 chapters so we're about halfway through.
Thank you to everyone who has been so patient between new chapters and for being here as readers! I appreciate it so much. Every view, visit, favourite and review mean a lot to me. THank you to everyone who reviewed last time, too. I always love to hear your thoughts: Katie McAlpine, AndTheSaintsAreAllMadeOfGold, and WinchesterGurl4life. you're the best and I'm grateful for you!
coming up next: hurry up and wait.