Warning: some smut in this one!

Sneaking in his background research after doing prep work with Sam had left Bucky with tired eyes and a knot in his neck. After his initial search about Victoria Rein had come up with little to no substance, he had done a deep dive into every available database he could find a connection to. And working as a partner to the CIA, he had access to more information than he needed.

But after an exhaustive scan, he couldn't find anything damning. He supposed that was something to be relieved about, to give both himself and Avery peace of mind that her fears didn't hold very much weight. Yet, a small twist in his stomach remained.

When he made it to the lab at Stark Industries, hopeful that Avery was ready to head home for the evening, he shared his findings with her and Bruce. Not that it was in their best interest to involve more people into this strange fact-finding mission, but he figured Bruce had been around many threats over the years and could provide some unbiased feedback about their insights.

"Hmm." Avery chewed on her lip, eyes narrowed as she searched the documents Bucky had spread onto the screens near Bruce's workstation. "So, there isn't anything out of the ordinary about her?"

Bucky shrugged. "Aside from a few questionable social media comments when she unvanished a few years ago, seems like she's got a pretty normal background."

Crossing her arms, she turned to Bruce. "Are you familiar with her at all? In all your past history in STEM?" Considering Bruce had once collected doctorates as if it was a hobby, she knew his professional networks of contacts must have been quite vast in years prior. "She once said she taught some biochem classes at Columbia but I've never heard of her."

Bruce pulled his glasses down from his face, clutching the arms of the frames between a green finger and thumb. "It's been a long time since I've done anything at Columbia but.. I'll take a look through my old rolodex." He swallowed a small smile. "Have you both considered this woman just wants to befriend Steve? As in - being a friend?"

"Yes." Avery let out a heavy sigh, shedding her lab coat before dropping onto a nearby stool. "Seriously. I'm trying not to sound crazy here. I just.." The thing was Avery truly didn't care about the friends her boys kept. Bucky had a small group he regularly attended yoga classes with and Steve had built a friend circle at the VA he often had coffee or grabbed a beer with following a class or session. But Avery couldn't figure Victoria out. "She just gives off a weird energy."

Bruce rubbed the back of his head, smiling softly. "I've followed a lot of hunches before - some didn't count for anything."

"And the others?" Avery quirked an eyebrow. "What did they count for?"

"There have been many instances where it paid off to follow my instincts." Bruce gave a final nod, waving his hand to the information Bucky had collected. "Does Steve know about this?"

A hard laugh escaped Bucky. "No, no. This wasn't for him - it was more for me and Avery."

Avery nodded. "At the end of the day, his contract is over soon and hopefully Victoria Rein will be a distant memory."

Once all her things were gathered, she and Bucky gave a goodbye wave towards Bruce and headed down to street level. A quick walk down the block had them taking a staircase to find their subway line home and once they had secured two seats at the back of a car, Avery finally let her shoulders relax as she leaned against Bucky.

"Thank you, by the way. For doing that research." Avery tipped her head up to look at him, finding Bucky's eyesight looking far off into nothingness. "Hey - where'd you just go?"

Bucky shook his head as he snapped out of whatever had caught his attention, turning his gaze towards her. "Sorry. Just thinking about Steve."

"Want to share your thoughts with the class?" She shifted on her seat, tugging on Bucky's closest hand to clutch it in hers. "Are you worried? I hope my irrational fears here didn't send you into a tailspin."

"No, no." Bucky took in another breath and leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "I worry about you and him all the time. Little things, big things." That was barely half of it, really. Bucky had a lot of bad dreams, worst case scenarios where he loses one of them. When he's home, his intrusive thoughts are kept at bay. But when he's gone for missions, once he's laying down or catching a break in action, all his mind can do is think about what's happening at home. Without him.

"Well, that's convenient. I worry about you two constantly, too." Avery pushed herself even closer to his side, as if she needed to feel his warmth right then and there. "I'd like to think that's a normal part of being in a relationship. But given your past and the nature of your job, I know why you worry the way you do. At least this Victoria thing came up empty." She knew it would be valuable to both her and Bucky if she just dropped it now. But it wasn't that easy. She knew that. And Bucky did too.

Bucky extended his arm around her and squeezed, letting her settle further into him. "You're right. It's not something I should be worrying about. And you shouldn't either, alright? The only thing I should be thinking about is how to make sure you and Stevie eat properly while I'm away on the mission that's coming up."

Looking back over the last few months, Avery couldn't exactly pinpoint how her time at the gym had gone from basic boxing classes to sparring sequences to Ultimate Fighting inspired techniques. What surprised her most of all though was how much she was enjoying it. Suddenly every trip to the gym turned into a new opportunity to focus on something else, something far away from the uncertainties of her everyday life. And beyond that, she could see her skills improving with each visit.

Sometimes Avery simply boxed against Raya, other days she trained on different defense combinations before watching other people go through their own fights. And then it happened. Just that day Avery was fighting with one of the other women Raya mentored and things really escalated.

The entire experience sparked something different in Avery that she couldn't quite put a finger on. Long gone were the restless waves of energy that had settled into her muscles after her new increased strength had shown up. Now, she was thinking ahead, blocking hooks and jabs, and taking control of the mat. The adrenaline flowing through her after her trial match felt like it was searing her insides when she dropped down to grab her water bottle.

"So, listen. I have to ask. I can't not ask, especially after that."

Avery blinked a few times and looked to her side as Travis dropped down onto the bench beside her. She supposed they had maintained a friendship at the gym, always saying hello to each other and Travis always had some sort of cheeky commentary to add about the most recent boxer. It was as if they were confidants.

She raised one of her shoulders and shifted to stretch out on the mats ahead of the bench. "Okay. Ask away."

His face pinched for a second as he chose his words, stealing a glance in a few different directions to confirm that most of the room had dissipated. His palms gripped the knees of his joggers as he leaned forward to speak. "What is it? Steroids? Some off market enhancing drugs? Hormone therapy? Super serum?"

Avery narrowed her eyes, taking a sip of her water bottle to stall, though she practically choked at the last suggestion. She pulled her knees up towards her chest and hung her arms across them. "What are you asking me here?"

He met her response with a half smile. "C'mon Avery. I'm not dumb. And neither is Raya. I find it hard to believe your strength is natural. You flipped Naomi over and you barely broke a sweat."

"It's not hard to use gravity against someone. That's not steroids, it's physics."

"Please just cut the bullshit." He sucked in a hard breath. "You barely do any lifting to compensate anymore. I know about a few other people - one crazy private investigator who is freakishly strong and indestructible, another kid out in Cali who-"

"I'm not indestructible." She was quick to cut him off before he got carried away. "The way in which my strength evolved isn't important but I'm seriously not trying to leverage it in any way. All this?" She waved towards the fighting area behind them. "It's helping me control it, not amplify it. Don't get the wrong idea."

"Oh, I'm not. I just wanted to invite you out to our next fight night. We do it here after hours, no Raya or coaches involved. And I assure you it's just for fun. But I think you could give a few of the others a run for their money."

Avery sighed. "Yeah, I don't know."

"C'mon. I promise you'll have a good time! Just come out one night. You don't even have to fight. Just observe and see what I mean." Travis shrugged. "Avery, you're pretty good and I think you'd enjoy it. Nothing beats the thrill of a win."

Bucky had a long couple of weeks ahead of him. The mission he and Sam were embarking on had them involved in tracking a growing extremist group across Eastern Europe and some of their tactics would have them going dark for days at a time. And although Bucky felt his relationships with Steve and Avery were feeling stronger than ever, he hated the idea of being absent from their lives.

It had him ignoring that nagging voice in his head more and more. The one that told him his ongoing internal battle of balancing the scales was important, that he owed the goddamn universe more than he could quantify. Even though he knew his choices hadn't been on his own and that the heavy weight of remorse would sit on his shoulders forever, despite his attempts at clearing his debts, he couldn't consider the other possibilities yet. But that voice grew louder and louder.

Sam was due to pick Bucky up just before noon to head to the compound. Luckily that gave him a few extra hours at home before he would be across the world from his people. Avery had kissed him goodbye very thoroughly, enough to leave them both wanting more. Once she was off to her early morning lab, Bucky and Steve had spent a few extra fun minutes in bed before Bucky dragged his boyfriend outside for a run.

Early March in New York could be hit or miss when it came to the weather. It had been quite cold for the past few weeks but the sun shining bright above them had to be some sort of positive sign from the universe. They layered up enough, keeping up a steady pace as they ran through their neighbourhood and further through the nearby boroughs. During their long stretch through Park Slope, Bucky pulled ahead and eventually stopped to wait for Steve to catch up.

"Am I getting old?" Steve couldn't help but smirk as he took a second to catch his breath, accepting Bucky's arms around him as he rested against his chest. "Or have you been getting faster?"

"Maybe both," Bucky replied with a smirk, releasing Steve from his arms and moving to stretch his leg on a nearby bench. "I've been putting in some extra miles."

Steve paused to drop into a deep squat, tipping his head up to look at Bucky. "I thought maybe you were leaning out a bit." Steve had seen Bucky at various stages of life now - slender and a bit soft, bulky and wide. But his current body composition seemed the most impressive.

"I'm just shedding my winter weight," Bucky said with a shrug. "You know the whole fitness routine keeps my head clear."

"I know, I know," Steve stood again and rested his hand on Bucky's shoulder. "I'm not complaining about your physique." Steve wanted to say something else, ask more. But he couldn't quite figure out what he was missing. Was this training routine new? Was it a distraction from something else? There was this strange voice at the back of Steve's mind wondering if there was a blank to be filled.

"C'mon, I'll race you back." Bucky jumped up excitedly. "The faster we get there, the faster we're in the shower together, Stevie."

Steve fought off the heat growing in his cheeks and just nodded once before taking off, laughing as Bucky pulled up behind him. They made quick work of the rest of the cardio on the journey home, politely saying hello to their neighbour Mrs. Levine before heading inside to enjoy a very hot, very handsy shower. Then, Bucky was checking his gear one final time before dropping his duffel at the front door.

Steve was leaning against the doorway that led into their living room, arms crossed in that typical Steve sort of way. Although he was quiet, much quieter than he had been in the shower moments before, Bucky could see right through him.

"You don't have to worry about me," Bucky spoke quietly as he approached Steve, taking a mental picture of his comical, dramatic pose. For a second, Bucky considered taking a real photo - because this version of Steve, his Stevie, was the exact kind of motivation for him and Sam to get their work done to get home quickly and safely. Steve, who exuded both comfort and style in his button up cardigan, pressed jeans and disheveled blond hair. Bucky couldn't help but reach his hand up and run it through Steve's hair as he tucked himself into his arms. "Between you and Ave, someone has to be the level headed one while I'm gone. Who is it gonna be?"

A small smile crept across Steve's face, eyes closing tight as Bucky cradled his cheek. "I'll take care of her."

"And she'll take care of you," Bucky added, leaning forward just enough to kiss Steve's forehead. "Whenever we get a safe moment, I'll call or message, alright?"

"Okay, Buck," Steve murmured, returning the gesture. He leaned forward to wrap his arms fully around Bucky and held him tight. They lingered like that for a few moments. Steve's hands found the small of Bucky's back and his nose pressed against the top of Bucky. "Just come home in one piece."

Bucky's phone buzzed. Sam was probably outside. "Okay, I've gotta go. Listen, if you get any news about Jeremy while we're over there - you can get us a message through Sharon if you need to. She'll be on our emergency comms line."

After another kiss and an exchange of 'I love yous', Bucky was out the door and Steve found himself alone in the empty house. Of course he had a day full of things to do - starting with finishing the drywall in the downstairs apartment and heading off to the VA for a late afternoon drop in session he was leading.

All these things served as a perfect distraction while Bucky was flying over the ocean, jumping headfirst into dangerous territories with Sam.

The first week of Bucky's latest work trip felt normal. Steve and Avery went through their routines like they usually did - mostly early mornings and some late evenings, a balance of take out meals and attempting to cook on their own, dog walks and laundry and studying and lecture notes. But as the days carried on, the silence of Bucky's communication blackout was louder than ever.

For Avery and Steve, their Friday night was spent laying in bed. Avery had her nose in a book while Steve flipped through plans and documents on a tablet. The silence lingering in the room wasn't comfortable or easy though.

Outside the window, the wind whistled gently. Rocky's paws skirted against the floor before he came to stop outside the threshold of their doorway, acting both as guard dog and road block for anyone who had to make a trip to the bathroom.

The lamps on the bedside tables glowed softly. Avery laid out somewhere in the middle of the bed, hands quietly flipping through pages of her novel.

Steve had stopped looking at his screen a while ago. His eyes instead were cast towards the window, out toward the sky and the foggy stars. When he opened his mouth to speak, his words were soft.

"I feel it too."

Avery tipped her head up to look at Steve, eyebrows narrowed as she tried to interpret his words.

Steve blinked slowly, a crinkle growing across his forehead. "Bucky not being here - some moments it's like we're back to September. Minus the injuries and broken drywall, I guess."

She pursed her lips, quietly closing her book and moving it to the nearest table. She watched him closely.

Steve continued. "It's not exactly the same, but when it's quiet and the light hits the wall.."

"I know. Earlier this week didn't seem so bad but now.." she couldn't help but laugh. "Steve, why didn't you mention it before, if you're feeling this way.."

"You didn't mention it either, sweetheart."

Avery hummed. Yeah, okay, fair. She looked down at her hands and began picking at the seam of her sleepshirt. When her mind turned to how she wanted to respond to the comment that hung between them, all she could think of was how they managed without Bucky in the fall. Bad days, good days - most of that time seemed to bleed together when she looked back.

"It just felt so heavy here," Steve wasn't smirking anymore, raising a hand up to his chest. "And I never want it to seem like this - you and me, isn't enough. Because we're okay, right?"

"Of course," Avery pulled herself up and shifted to straddle him, hands cradling his cheeks. "Stevie, me and you are more than enough." You are more than enough for me. "But I think we would all agree we're even better together - when all three of us are in one place."

"It's getting harder and harder for me to be okay with Bucky's… job. Which is hypocritical, I know. Considering how I threw myself into a lot of dangerous situations for a long time. But I hate the radio silence, not knowing if he's okay."

"Not knowing if he'll come home," she added in quietly, leaning forward and pressing herself against him.

Steve sighed. "Yeah."

"Okay, so in my years of becoming a Steve Rogers expert - I have done a wonderful job analyzing the person you are now." Avery pulled her hands away from his cheeks and dragged a finger down his bare chest, flattening her hand over his heart. "You've always had something worth fighting for. But what you come home to, who you come home to - that's changed. And I'm sure that's the same for Buck. For him though, he's so stuck in this cycle of self worth and balancing the scales. He'll get there, I think."

Steve's left hand came up to rest on top of hers, pressing her palm against his beating chest. Could she feel it? The way his heart pounded at her touch? His other hand crawled up, trailing a line up her other arm, to her neck, eventually pausing to cup her jaw. "We're okay."

"Of course," she smiled and turned to press a kiss against his palm. "Maybe we should work on communicating in a clearer way though. I'll just start pestering you with more thorough check-ins until Bucky gets back." Leaning forward she captured his lips, slow and soft.

Steve shuffled up to position himself a bit taller against the headboard, pulling Avery in even closer somehow. His arms wrapped around her back and when she jutted her hips forward, a gasp caught in his throat.

She smirked against his mouth. "Feelings check?"

"I think you can feel me just fine, Ave," he growled back, letting out a quiet 'fuck' as her mouth moved to suck against his neck. Steve considered this an unwritten silver lining to Bucky's absence. One on one time with Avery wasn't rare, per se. But when it was just the two of them, the energy felt different. It wasn't bad or better, just distinctly unique to the two of them. As if they could dial into each other better, more focused. "Let me feel you, too."

"Mmm," Avery pulled back slightly. "Can I take care of you, please?"

As if Steve could deny such a request. He fought his own urge to take the lead and gave Avery control, content to rest against the headboard while her mouth continued doing whatever it wanted. A kiss here, licking, nibbling, biting there.

When her teeth grazed over one of his nipples, he couldn't help but buck his hips upward. They were separated by only the thin fabric of her pajama shorts and his boxers. God damn, the heat was unbearable.

Despite her ask, Steve still had an unrelenting desire to ensure she felt good, too. When he grabbed her hips, she didn't protest. And when he started to rock her back and forth against his hard length, quite clearly rubbing her just where she needed it, she was the one swallowing her moans now.

"Jesus, Stevie," she groaned, using one hand to rip off her shirt while the other grabbed onto the back of his neck. "Right there, please. Don't stop."

In a flurry of hands and mouths and friction, it didn't take long for Avery to reach her peak - all the while Steve just grinned from below. By the time she recovered, they were both shuffling to rid themselves of the rest of their clothes. Avery braced herself, hands gripping his shoulders, as he positioned himself below her.

She paused before sinking down. "I wanted this to be about you.." An aftershock of nerves jolted through her as Steve reached between them and dragged this thumb against her most sensitive spot.

"Sweetheart, you do realize that seeing you come nearly sends me off the edge too, right?"

Avery didn't even have time to fight off the blush that swept over her because Steve was guiding her down, down, down and her eyes squeezed shut as she groaned.

"Let's.." Steve stilled her with a hard grin, reaching for his phone from the table. "..send Bucky something fun to watch when he turns his phone back on." He was perfectly content for Avery to take the lead as she rode him, while he did everything he could to act as cameraman and try not to enjoy himself too quickly.

He managed to get out a breathy series of expletives as she found her rhythm. She moved at her own pace, leaving him wanting more at every opportunity. As much as he liked being on top of her, as soon as she began to ride him like it was second nature.

Before he could realize what was happening - and before he could move his phone to the side - Avery had paused and reached her arms out, grasping onto his shoulders and rotating them both so she could lay flat against the bed with Steve overtop of her. It was impossible to keep him from grinning, impressed by both her feat of strength and the fact that he had stayed inside her during the transition.

"Stevie.." Avery was breathless under him, eyes fluttering closed as she relaxed into the pillows. "Wanna try and break this bedframe?"

"Sweetheart.." Steve laughed, sucking in a breath as he started to move his hips. When she moaned against his rhythm, he picked up his pace.

"Please.." Avery knew she was nearly whining and she also knew that her request wouldn't go ignored. The fact that this version of Steve was so malleable, agreeable to her needs and wants - she didn't take it for granted. "Please, Stevie. Harder. As hard as.."

When his hips shot forward again, she gasped.

"Need to feel you.. For days after.. Please. You're not going to break me.."

Oh, how Steve gave in. His body collapsed against hers, one hand gripping the side of her face as their lips met in a searing kiss. The other steadied her hip, tight, as if letting go meant losing. Losing this silly game, losing her attention, losing her. It was his mouth exploring this time, moving from her lips to her cheek to that spot on her neck. A bite against her collarbone as he whispered into her ear.

"You're everything to me, Ave. To us. I could do this forever, I want to feel you forever.. Let me feel you, let me have you. God, take me. You're remarkable, baby. Look how you take me."

She hooked her legs around his hips, as if she could keep him even closer to her. As if he could be further inside of her, as if she could feel even more of him. That's all she wanted. In the midst of missing Bucky and fighting off that familiar feeling that seemed to be consuming them both, she had Steve. God, she had all of Steve.

"Stevie," she loosened herself, limbs weak as he slowed down enough to focus on her eyes again. "Give it to me, please, please."

Steve's hands gripped her hips tightly and he let go and gave her everything he had. And when his climax ricocheted through him, an aftershock waved through every nerve in Avery's body, too. And afterwards, once Steve retrieved a warm washcloth and delivered enough kisses against her skin to chap his lips, they fell asleep cradled against one another.

More than enough.

Bucky: are you two kidding
Bucky: you realize I usually share a room with Sam
Bucky: and you send me that!?
Bucky: fuck
Avery: it was Steve's idea!
Steve: we miss you Buck
Bucky: better show me how much you miss me when I get home, Rogers

As Bucky and Sam's current work trip grew to a close, Bucky's communication picked up again. It helped keep both Steve and Avery's fears at bay before he made it home. Not only that, but Avery's annoying 'feelings' check ins with Steve had become very consistent throughout their days. And of course he called for her to be transparent about her current emotions, too.

After class and Avery's work session with her study group, she and Steve had met up at the grocery store near campus to grab a few things before heading home. Bucky was due to land late that night and they figured having some kind of food prepared in the fridge for him when he walked in the door would be considerate.

Avery had voted to just order in pizza. Steve had insisted they try to cook something and maybe eat some vegetables, too. An agreement was reached with an easy pasta recipe that they had both successfully made before, without Bucky.

They split up in the store, with Avery heading towards the bakery to find a baguette (and maybe some cookies) while Steve handled produce and additional pasta recipe requirements. When she tracked him down in the middle of an aisle, she found Steve mid-animate-conversation with someone Avery did not recognize. An unfamiliar, wide-grinned, bright eyed female.

It wasn't the first time a stranger had struck up a conversation with Steve in public, whether they recognized him from his Captain America mantle or they were just being kind. But, sometimes, they very closely walked the line between friendly chatter and flirting.

Avery blinked a few times as she sped up her feet because this woman was certainly on the flirting side of the line. And god, Avery loved Steve so much - but sometimes he came across a bit too clueless for her liking. She had no doubt in her mind that Steve loved her and Bucky and he was committed to their relationship, but damn, if he wasn't too nice for his own good in certain circumstances.

"All I'm saying is the fresh pasta section has a huge variety," Avery overheard the woman speaking, eyelashes fluttering as she looked at Steve.

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind," Steve returned her smile, taking a step to the side to grab a jar of pasta sauce. The woman took a similar step, making some comment about her preferred red sauce and a homemade salad dressing recipe she could recommend to him and -

"Steve, a little help?" Avery spoke loud enough to turn both of their heads, raising up her shoulders to show off her full arms to Steve. He offered her a cheeky smile as he came to her rescue, emptying her armload into the basket sitting at his feet.

"Oh my god, I knew it. You are Steve Rogers. Wow. You look incredible. It's so nice to meet you - what are you up to these days?"

Avery bit her lip, doing her best not to narrow her eyes too deeply as she stared at the woman. The woman who was suddenly twirling a strand of her hair, abandoning her interest in pasta shapes and sauces as she closed in the space between herself and Steve once more.

Steve took note of this, tightening his lips in an awkward smile as he stepped back and towards Avery. "Just living a very boring life out here in Brooklyn."

"Alright, pumpkin, I think we're good to go, right? Did you get the bowties? I love the bowtie pasta." Avery reached a hand out across Steve and the woman, grabbing a box of her preferred noodle shape and giving her a sharp smile. "Have a good night."

The woman nodded her head enthusiastically, still looking at Steve. A soft, dreamy, adoring gaze. A gaze that reminded Avery way too much of the way that she looked at him and Bucky. She tugged on Steve's hand and she directed them directly towards the nearest checkout lane, ignoring the small wave the girl gave him as they turned out of the aisle.

"Pumpkin?" Steve muttered out as she started to unload their basket onto the moving belt. "Thanks for the save, cookie."

Avery rolled her eyes as she placed the chocolate chip cookies amidst the god awful vegetables Steve had grabbed. "Sorry, I still can't deal with strangers flirting with you."

"She wasn't flir.." Steve stopped himself, scrunching his face up to think. "She did suggest giving me a lesson about making homemade pasta.."

"Yeah, and what kind of lesson did she want in return?" Avery smirked, laughing when Steve pulled her close towards his chest as they waited for the cashier to finish with the previous customer. "I'm sure Buck has a pasta recipe he can try to teach us in the future."

Soon enough, they were back home and getting to work on dinner together in the kitchen. Avery put on a gentle oldies playlist for background noise and started on the easiest task in the recipe - opening the bottle of wine needed for reducing the sauce.

Steve agreed to have a glass with her, eyes twinkling as she captured a kiss as she slid in against him, pretending to approve of whatever he was doing with the pans on the stove. Before she really got in his way, he grabbed her waist and lifted, placing her on the counter across from him.

"You can observe from here," he smirked.

"Okay, okay."

"So, I finally got some news from Rhodey today. About your brother's flight partner the day of the accident." Steve looked over his shoulder to watch her for a reaction as he returned to his action on the stove.

"I assume it wasn't good news, or you could have told me already." Avery sighed and placed her wine glass to the side, carefully leaving it on the counter as she grasped her hands together. "Go ahead."

Steve sighed, adjusting the temperature of the nearest element before putting a lid on the pan. He had opened this discussion and despite the way he wanted to avoid the topic, he just needed to get through it. "It wasn't good news. Unfortunately it doesn't help us much at all." He took in a big breath and closed his eyes before turning to her. "After everyone vanished years ago, it was hard for a very long time. Sure, yeah, half the population disappeared. But the people that remained suffered too - from lack of medical care or resources, from heartbreak, from other mental health struggles and Alex Watkins didn't make it through."

Avery swallowed the lump in her throat. Right. She had an ongoing silent debate on whether it was worse to vanish or lose people you loved so quickly. Understanding it from both sides was essential - and thinking about this, the gravity of how people were impacted by such loss, it broke her heart.

Steve continued on quietly. "We did track down a copy of his report though, after what happened. He tried to rescue your brother from the plane after it crashed. He did what he could but he figured it had been a lost cause."

"Well, no, that wasn't good news. But I hope Alex knew how valued he was for serving his country and trying to do the right thing in a moment of peril."

Steve nodded in agreement. Avery raised up her wine glass. "To Alex." They shared a long drink and moment of silence, before Steve returned to the stove to check on things.

"I know you told me this was going to be hard." Avery chewed on her lip as she sorted through her thoughts. "And you were right. I wanted you to be wrong but…" She took a deep breath and reached for her phone off the counter. "I have like half a dozen unanswered texts from Lora asking me questions about what's going on. And I'm glad she is asking but I hate that there is nothing new to report, you know?"

"When we had long gaps of time between Bucky sightings, I had to convince myself that at least he was probably somewhere safe, hopefully taking care of himself."

"And did that help you feel better as you waited?" Avery's lips turned into a small smile..

"It did sometimes." In one stride Steve crossed the kitchen and planted himself ahead of her, having discarded all his utensils to wrap his arms around her waist. She rested hers on his shoulders, dragging her fingers across the seam of his sweater. "But I was mad a lot too. So you can be mad."

A laugh escaped her as she moved her hands to cradle his cheeks. "And here I thought I was just hungry."

His hands found the nape of her neck and brought her closer, his nose gently brushing against hers. The tension left her body and she let herself lean fully into him, giving him access to her lips. Steve smiled when he felt her sigh and kissed her softly, pulling away only to place his forehead against hers for another beat. "Okay, let's work on the hungry thing, at least."

It didn't take long for them to pull the pasta recipe together. They sat together at the kitchen table, free of phones or paperwork or textbooks, and just revelled in the moments spent together. As their plates were emptied and Avery was carrying them to the sink, Steve's phone started to buzz.

Avery hoped it was Bucky giving them the news he was on his way home. But when she glanced back at Steve, and he was standing with a nervous look on his face, her stomach dropped.

"Wait, Clint. Slow down. Where?"

Avery barely had a chance to try and listen because suddenly her own phone was ringing, too.

"Hey Buck," she started cautiously, watching Steve pacing across the room. His eyes flitted to look at her, narrow with concern. "You guys on the plane yet?"

"Have either of you heard from Barton?"

Avery planted her feet and adjusted the phone to her other ear. "I think Steve is talking to him now. What's going on?"

"Apparently the tracking program found a match for your brother. Just outside of Berlin. Me and Sam are re-routing there now."

All Bucky wanted to do was go home. The last two weeks had been tireless - tracking certain groups, ambushing rallies flocked with terrorists, cleaning up a mess both the National Security Agency and NATO had been following since everyone had unvanished years ago.

Just as he and Sam were finally heading to the airport in Munich, having turned their communications systems back on, their phones started buzzing with activity. When they finally clued in to the messages and urgent missed calls from Sharon, Clint and Alice - they knew there was more work to be done before heading home.

Alice, who had been keeping track of potential victims similar to Jeremy, had theorized other people like him had survived the snap and fled to safety years ago, leaving the scientists behind. She had potentially placed a name and possible location on a missing soldier from Germany and maybe Jeremy had found him. Based on the coordinates of the video footage and the address they had deciphered, Sam and Bucky had an area they were ready to scope out. But, they also kept their expectations reasonably low - considering the camera picked up a brief glimpse of Jeremy hours ago, it was possible he had already left the area.

When they made it to Berlin, they took an inconspicuous car towards their destination and parked across the street. It had shifted into a basic stakeout to see if anyone actually lived in the apartment they were watching.

It was a cold, quiet night in the small borough. A few blocks away, traffic whirred by, but nothing else was audible or moving outside of the apartment. After an hour of sitting patiently in the driver's seat and listening to the hum of their engine and basic radio feedback, Bucky could feel exhaustion weighing him down. His eyes burned and his head ached.

He leaned forward against the steering wheel and narrowed his eyes. "We should be halfway home by now. Sorry Sam."

Sam, who was making his way through a mixture of German snacks he had grabbed at the airport, just shook his head with a smirk. "No clue what you're apologizing for."

"This thing, for Avery and her family, you didn't sign up for it. On top of our day job." Bucky rolled his eyes and fell back into the seat.

"Buck, this is only a thread of something wrong that happened to innocent people, Avery's brother included. If there is one thing I don't stand for, it's injustice. Not to mention this is also my very opinionated girlfriend's family we are talking about. I'm invested, too."

Bucky laughed then. Injustice, right. He supposed that was the easiest summary of what had happened to Jeremy and the other fallen soldiers who did not volunteer for this science experiment. Just like Bucky they had been given a life or death scenario and when they came out on the other side alive, things weren't morally correct anymore. But hey, at least they were alive.

And now, years later, Bucky was still alive. And he owed it to fight that injustice with Sam at his side.

"Life has been severely fucked up for a lot of people. So if this will help fix that or find some answers, then okay, we spend another 24 hours in Germany before we get back stateside. It's okay." Sam offered his box of candy over towards Bucky's side of the car, shaking the container to make his offer more clear. "No more apologizing."

Instead of responding with some smart ass pre-programmed reply, Bucky gratefully took a piece of the offered candy and popped it into his mouth. After a few more uninteresting moments passed, the silence settled between them once more and then…

Bucky stilled and turned his head slowly towards Sam, wondering if his partner had heard any sudden noises too. Before Sam had a chance to ask his question, someone tapped against the side window of the car.

In a flash, both Bucky and Sam turned - metal arm and fists up in defense. Outside the window in the darkness, someone flashed them a wide grin.

"I assume you are looking for me?"

Bucky made it out of the car first, cautiously as his hand hovered over the gun hidden behind his back. The man standing on the sidewalk didn't seem like a threat - balancing on two separate arm crutches, he hobbled backwards as Bucky planted himself across the concrete. A cast of yellow light from the nearest streetlight let Bucky see the man even more clearly. A knit wool hat sat on top of messy black curls, nearly covering his eyes. His clothes had seen better days and although he yielded confidence and an amiable energy, his entire stance felt almost compact. His voice rang out with a German accent, laced with the influence of a French vocabulary.

Sam, who had quietly gotten out of the car, approached slowly on the other side. "How did you know we were coming?"

The man grinned again, motioning his head towards the short apartment building. "Let's just go in then?" He shuffled his feet slightly, shrugging a shoulder. "Or I'll go to bed and we can talk in the morning?"

Sam and Bucky exchanged barely a glance and minutes later, they were walking into a very cramped, dated bachelor apartment. The room barely had enough space for the bed and dining table - but with three full bodies navigating the space, things didn't feel any less tense than they did out on the sidewalk.

"You invite strangers into your home often?" Sam started, dropping into one of the chairs while Bucky remained near the door.

"Listen, I have seen many horrors throughout my short life. And I am a very broke, very crippled man - if you wanted to rob me or kill me, you would have already tried." The man rested his crutches against one of the counters in his compact kitchen, shuffling through the cupboards for a few mugs. "Besides, you know who I am and I know who you are. Falcon, Winter Soldier."

Bucky tensed briefly and pursed his lips. "Do we know who you are?"

"Yes, because Jeremy said you'd likely be here soon after he left. And he's always right." Once the kettle was warming on the stove, he turned again and gave Bucky and Steve a small wave. "If my hunch is correct, you know me as Jakob Klein. I died in 2015, according to the German military."

Bucky raised an eyebrow, catching a glance from Sam. They each had a thousand different questions running through their mind and they had to tread carefully. "Why was Jeremy here?"

Once his tea was brewing, Jakob took the chair opposite Sam and pulled off his hat. "I think you know why. He's trying to track us all down, just like I did." Jakob sighed and took in a deep breath before explaining himself. "There was only a handful of us who had survived the worst of this project, this experiment. When they found me, I had been presumed dead after a peacekeeping mission. But they managed to save me, these doctors. And as a payback, I owed my life to them. Or that's what they told me, at least. We were lab rats."

Jakob covered everything he could remember, although it took him a long time to recover his memories after the years of brainwashing. They've come far since your time, he commented to Bucky.

"They tried to enhance us, chemically or physically." Jakob pointed down towards his legs. "They did a shit job, as you can imagine. I can barely walk after they tried to give me superhuman speed."

"What happened to everyone else?" Sam pushed on, trying to commit this all to memory as best as he could. "All the files - the information had been wiped, how did you figure out who you were?"

"When the.." Jakob lifted a hand and snapped his fingers. "A few people disappeared, like Jeremy. But those of us that were left, we took it as an opportunity to get out. The doctors… Well, one of them made it out alive but the other didn't. They had original records with some data, at least that helped us get our names back."

"And when Jeremy found you?"

"He got a lot of answers he needed. I told him everything I know. He remembered me, sort of. It's hard to figure out what is real or not, especially when they put that stupid implant on him. He was conditioned to.." Jakob sipped his tea slowly, glancing from Sam over towards Bucky. "Jeremy.. he's trying to come to terms with what happened, things he did. It is not easy. But - can you..?" He pointed towards a shelf on the far wall, which Bucky reached in a single stride. "At the back there.."

Bucky slid his hand behind the shelf and found a hollowed out space that housed a file folder. He crouched down beside Sam and flipped it open to read through the paperwork inside. A lot of the information the team had been missing throughout this entire investigation was suddenly in the palm of their hands. The first page displayed a full list of all the soldiers names who had been taken by the doctors.

"What do these red Xs mean?" Sam asked quietly, pulling his gaze up to look at Jakob.

"Come on, don't be dense." Jakob let out a sad laugh. "Those who didn't make it. The other ones, I found everyone that I could, to try and help. Jeremy.. I had been trying to find for a long time. When he showed up here earlier, I was relieved. That he had made it."

Bucky stood up and asked the one question he couldn't get out of his head. "And those scientists? You said one made it out - did you track them down too?"

Jakob nodded. "I did."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "And what happened to them?"

Jakob took a long gulp of his tea and sat back in his chair, arms crossed. "They also get a red X now."

Bucky had spent a long time wrestling his demons when he recovered in Wakanda. The resentment that had flowed through him alongside the heat of anger in his stomach - it had been unbearable most of the time. To think of the life he lost, the humanity that was stripped of him. He spent many hours in the same state of mind that Jakob was in, thinking about finding the people who let the atrocities occur and making them pay for what they had agreed to, encouraged even.

He understood Jakob, even if he didn't agree with his methods.

Sam didn't argue or reply either, instead grabbing his phone and taking photos of all the documents that Jakob had shared with them. It wasn't an accident that Jeremy had led them to his old friend. In fact, Sam and Bucky now could only believe that Jeremy had given them this connection on purpose. As some sort of sign that he was on the right path, that they could keep their distance and know he was trying to do the right thing.

But, as he and Sam were heading to the door to part ways with Jakob, Bucky couldn't help himself from asking. They had gotten much more information than they anticipated but they still weren't any closer to finding Avery's brother again. "Did Jeremy tell you where he was going next?"

"Not in certain words or with exact coordinates," Jakob replied, letting out a slow breath and shrugging a shoulder. "He just said he needed to go home."

A/N: okaaaaay people, buckle up! we are getting closer to... something with someone and also (redacted) and also (redacted) (redacted) (redacted). THere is a lot I want to SAY but I cannot yet so hope you are enjoying the ride.

HEY YOU. yeah, you - the one reading this. thank you, thank you, thank you! for being here. I did not mean to be so absent and leave such growing gaps between new chapters but life has really gotten in the way of my creative writing. and that's okay, that's how it goes - but the fact that you're still here, still clicking and reading and supporting my writing and this universe I've created, I can't express my gratitude!

To those of you who left a review on the last chapter, a very special thank you comes from me to you: Casual Cosmophile, Guest, Katie MacAlpine, (welcome! thank you for reading!), Winchestergurl4life, babytigerclub - your thoughts and theories and ideas and kind words mean the world! I appreciate every review, view, favourite and follow.

coming up next: with tension at an all time high, tempers flare. but it's nothing a visit to the diner can't fix, right?