Hey Readers: I hope you guys enjoyed the start to this leg of the road trip, and the banter that happened between the husband and wife when it came to what she shared on the post. What do you guys think of these blog posts? Do you like the fast that I both post them individually, and then have them talk about it? And do you just want it to be Gabby who does the posts? Just let me know what you guys think. But for now, it's time for me to write chapter 15 of the story.
Chapter Fifteen
"So, what do you think about what I posted on the blog so far? Did I post too much for you?" Now, that was the million dollar question; whether his wife posted too much for him to be comfortable with the amount that she shared on her blog, the blog that she's sure that she already shared the link with their friends. God, this is going to be an interesting conversation; and he has to do it while also concentrating on the road that was taking them to Miami (and Puerto Rico) via Ohio and the Carolinas. But still, he has to say that Gabby did write amazing. Wait, that's the right place to start. They always say, start with a compliment, and then do the criticism. So, that's exactly what Matt's going to do. "Okay, I have to say that you are a great writer." Gabby laughed when she heard Matt say that, well aware of the fact that he was doing the whole criticism sandwich. "You're doing the criticism sandwich thing aren't you?" Matt was confused when he heard that. "What are you talking about?" Gabby just looked at her husband, smirking at him. "Compliment, Criticism, Compliment."
Matt sighed when he heard Gabby say that, as that was exactly what he planned on doing. "God, that was exactly what I planned on doing. But just because that's what I plan on doing, doesn't mean that it's not the truth." Gabby agreed with Matt when he said that, smiling as she was just happy that Matt was giving her the compliment. "But just tell me the truth baby. Did you think that I posted too much when it came to what happened between us? If you aren't okay with what I posted, I will change it." Matt took a breath when Gabby asked him if he wanted her to change something. "Well, that's the thing Gabby; this is your project, and I don't want to stop you from doing something that you really like doing. Or at least, that it seems like you enjoy doing." Gabby agreed with Matt when he asked her if she enjoys posting the post that she posted to the blog yesterday. "The truth was, I did like it. I just opened my heart, and it felt natural to post that much." Matt agreed with Gabby when she told him that it felt natural. "You see, here's the thing; nobody in my family knows."
Gabby turned her head when Matt said that, as she was a bit confused. "You mean…" Matt nodded. "I didn't tell my sister just what was happening in between the both of us, because I was in denial." Gabby was confused when she heard Matt say that, not exactly understanding what he was in denial about. "You were in denial? About what baby?" Matt took a breath when Gabby asked him what he was in denial about. "I was in denial over the fact that there was a chance that we could really fail." Gabby looked at her husband when she heard him say that, seeing that he was worried about that. "Is that worrying you baby? After the idea of us failing?" Matt nodded when Gabby asked him whether he was worried, worried about the idea of them (and their marriage) failing. "The truth is Gabby, I am scared; and I hate admitting that. Heck, it's the real first time that I've really said it in public." Gabby nodded, agreeing with Matt as he said that, just letting him that to her since she had a feeling that he's been needing to talk to her about this for a while; and he has to tell you the truth.
"Gabby, I hate to point out the obvious but…has it not occurred to you that we're the only ones in our family who are still married?" Gabby then thought about it, taking a breath. "My dad's dead, my sister's divorced…not that I blame her. God, I still hate Jim to this day. Now, in your family, your parents are divorced; and your brother got divorced too. Gabby, I hate to say this but…that does put a lot of pressure on me, especially in my situation." Gabby was confused when she heard Matt say that. "Why especially in your situation baby?" Matt sighed. "Because I don't want to turn into my dad, and that…" Gabby just went to stop Matt in his tracks, not wanting him to even think that way. "Hey, you take that back…and you don't even think that way baby. Don't you dare think that will ever happen. Baby, you're nothing like your father. And that's just a fact that you can't even dispute. You are nothing like your father." Matt sighed. "I couldn't tell when I yelled at you in May." Gabby agreed with Matt when he said that. "Is that one of the reasons you have so much guilt over that baby?"
Matt nodded when Gabby asked him if, because of how his father treated his mother, if that's why he feels really guilty over how he yelled at her in May. "Babe, I'm just worried. I know this doesn't sound right but, who knows what can happen. Is it inheritable? And that scares the crap out of me. I don't want to be an abusive husband, but I was." Gabby looked at Matt when she heard him say that. "Hey, don't you dare say that you're an abusive husband Matt. You aren't an abusive husband." Matt snickered a bit when he heard Gabby say that. "Yeah, tell that to the guy who yelled at his wife; and basically verbally assaulted her before you left to go to Puerto Rico. Sure, I was scared and trying to get a point across; but that's no excuse for how I treated you. That's why I tried to reach you a lot over the summer. Actually, while we're on that topic; I want to talk to you about that." Gabby looked at Matt. "About what?" Matt sighed and looked at her. "Gabby, remind me of our relationship?" Gabby smiled. "We're husband and wife." Matt sighed. "Gabby, you basically ghosted me. I barely heard from you. We didn't talk on the phone, and text was just one-word answers." Gabby bit her lip, sighing.
"Gabby, I was scared out of my mind. I was still trying to figure out the whole aneurysm situation, and I was a mess. I had no idea how it worked, what could cause it to rupture; and I went down so many rabbit holes. I did research about it so many times, just wondering what could cause it to burst…whether it was just a pregnancy, or if it could be like heat that could cause it to burst." Gabby just listened to her husband when he told her that, clearly able to see that he was getting emotional. "And I just wasn't getting the answers. So Gabby, each and every night before I went to bed; I prayed not to get a phone call that my wife had died, that I would never get to fix things between us. Gabby, I don't want to yell at you right now; but I think right now, you need to let me yell at you about this." Gabby agreed with Matt when he told her that.
"Then go ahead and yell baby." Matt took a breath, sighing. "What type of wife doesn't answer their husband's phone, if they are in the middle of a place that's still recovering from a natural disaster; add in the fact that you have a serious, life threatening medical condition, and I have no clue just how good the hospitals are. Gabby, I had no idea what the hell you had set up. Gabby, you told me over e-mail that you were in Puerto Rico! OVER E-MAIL! Baby, you really think that was enough. I'm YOUR HUSBAND. You want to know what I felt when I got your e-mail?" Gabby gulped. "I felt like I was Chief Boden. I felt like I was your chief, getting a report saying that you were going to be out sick. And don't even get me started over the fact that I learned ANTONIO knew about the fact that you were in Puerto Rico, but he didn't tell me. Sorry but, that's a conversation that I need to have with him at some point." Gabby agreed with Matt, letting him vent.
"And then I learned that you put YOUR BROTHER as your emergency contact. Yeah, I figured that out when I finally got in contact with the right chief. Well, I told them that was getting changed. Okay, this is where I need to apologize…" Gabby looked at Matt when he told her that. "I need to apologize for going behind your back, and changing your emergency contact without your consent. I know that I didn't…you know what, I felt like I had EVERY right to do it. Gabby, I vowed to love you through sickness and health. Gabby, do you really think that putting your brother was the best idea? I'm sorry, I want to just say this outright…and you need to listen to me about this." Gabby agreed with Matt when he said that, proceeding to listen to her husband. "From this day forward, I don't care if we're in a fight. I AM YOUR HUSBAND; I AM YOUR EMERGENCY CONTACT. And that's not up for negotiation. That's a fact, and that's just something you agree to."
Gabby took a breath when she heard Matt say that, before doing the same. He then decided to say quiet for a moment, since that was not the right thing to say. "Gabby, I'm sorry that…" Gabby looked at him. "Yeah, I know; it's similar to what I did." Matt nodded. "I know, we need to talk about that too. Maybe we can just talk about it quick? Then we can get back to the topic about the emergency contact?" Gabby agreed with Matt when he said that, as she's ready to do just that.
Matt's POV:
Taking a breath after what I said to Gabby, I just knew that I screwed up because I did exactly what Gabby did; I did what I criticized her for doing, and that was not the right thing. Just looking at the road, I felt Gabby reach for my hand; and I loved that, as it meant that she was still open to the both of us talking. And that was exactly what I wanted. I want her to still be open to talking to me. And now, after a break; I was ready to continue talking to her as well. "You ready to keep talking?" I agreed with Gabby. "Yeah, I just want to apologize first." Gabby agreed. "I accept your apology." I smiled when she said that, bringing her hand up to my lips before kissing the back of her hand. "Now, back to what I was saying. I need to just say this. The whole making decisions apart from one another." Gabby agreed with me when I mentioned that. "Yeah, that's something we definitely need to talk about." I agreed with Gabby, taking a breath at the same time as I was a bit worried.
"Gabby, we're husband and wife; that means that we're a team. You really think that it's easy to just put my feelings aside when I'm making decisions? When you make decisions?" Gabby looked at me when I said that. "Yeah, it's not easy." I laughed when she said that. "More like impossible. Gabby, I'm your HUSBAND, I love you; and you're my WHOLE WORLD. It's not like I can just put our marriage in a box, and say that my whole life doesn't matter to me. Baby, you're my WHOLE WORLD. And I mean that Gabby, because here's something that you need to remember…" Gabby looked at me when I said that. "You aren't just my wife Gabby, you're my family." Gabby was confused when I told her that. "Of course I know that I'm your family baby, what do you mean by that?" I took a breath when Gabby asked me that. "I mean that, you're my only family. Gabby, I'm not that close with my sister, I haven't seen my mother in years, and there's only so much that I can share with Severide. Baby, you're my family. You're the only family that I really have left. Sure, I have the firehouse but…it's just not the same. They aren't people I feel like I can share intimate details of my life with." I took a breath and sighed.
"Baby, you know about my past; my past with abuse right?" Gabby nodded and took a breath. "Yeah, I remember how hard it was for you to open up to me about that, and how it was hard for us to really start getting intimate. Well, not exactly intimate; we did that pretty well on our first night together. God, I still remember when we woke up the next morning." I agreed with Gabby when she told me that. "And since that day, I have started my mornings with kissing your back. And I have to say, your back is the best back I have ever kissed." Gabby hollered laughing when I said that, really liking the sound of me saying that (obviously). "Oh, that's funny." I agreed with Gabby when she told me that, smirking as I loved the sound of me saying it as well. I hate to say that it was funny (as that would be tooting my own horn), but it was quite funny in my opinion. "I guess that means that I'm kind of funny." Gabby snickered (again), smiling at me. "You're really funny baby."
I smiled, agreeing with Gabby when she told me that. "Thanks for saying that because I try and make your laugh. I want to see that smile on your face as much as I can, because it means that you're happy; and that's all I want for you baby, I want you to be happy and healthy." Gabby agreed with me when I said that. "Hey, of course I know that baby." I smiled, agreeing with my beautiful wife when she told me that. "But back to what we were talking about. Gabby, we're husband and wife. You're the Ms. to my Mr. Casey. You're my Ms. Captain Casey." Gabby smiled when I said that, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "God, I still remember when I said that; it was so funny, I knew you wanted to laugh." I smiled, agreeing with Gabby when she told me that. "I did, but I didn't want to jynx it. I didn't know if it would happen. Oh, that's another thing. Please, no more playing superhero when you're no longer a firefighter. You're a paramedic baby. I was scared."
Gabby smiled when I said that. "Oh, shut up; you have to admit that it also turned you on. You loved the fact that I was being my badass Gabby Dawson self there." I agreed with Gabby. "Yeah, when we responded to the scene, they said that there was this lady screaming out orders and barking out orders; and I just knew that was my girl." Gabby blushed, smiling. "Yeah, that was me. I still remember that day." I agreed with her. "Just no more close calls like that. You were already almost crushed in the hospital, and then that parking structure; especially not when you have an aneurysm." Gabby took a breath when she heard me say that. "Yeah, thinking back…that scares me more now." I agreed with Gabby. "Yeah, I try not to think about that. Sorry I brought it up." Gabby shook her head when I said that. "It's fine baby, it's something that we need to live with." I agreed with Gabby when she told me that, smiling at her as we went ahead and kept talking.
"But back to what I was saying, again…" Gabby nodded, agreeing with me when I said that. "…baby, you're my family; and that's why I'm scared to put your life at risk. But we're not going to put that in the conversation again, because right now we're talking about how you left to go to Puerto Rico." Gabby agreed with me when I said that, continuing to listen. "Like I said, I was not happy whatsoever about the fact that I wasn't your emergency contact; Gabby, you're my emergency contact in everything as my wife." Gabby agreed with me when I said that, nodding. "So, for Antonio to have been your emergency contact on your Puerto Rico papers just broke my heart. Did you really think that, I would drop everything and make my way to Puerto Rico if you got hurt?" Gabby turned her head when I said that. "Oh my god, is that how it made you feel baby?" I sighed, taking a breath when she asked me that. "Baby, it made me wonder whether it was a message to me."
Gabby just looked down, proceeding to play with her wedding ring. "I was worried if this was a message to me that you wanted to end of marriage, without sending me the divorce papers. So, I decided to change the number to mine; because I didn't want that to be the case. And if you saw that I changed it, I wanted you to get the message that I didn't care whether you were with me in Chicago; or if you were in Puerto Rico, I still wanted you to be my wife forever." Gabby agreed with me when I said that, smiling at me. "I feel the same way Matt. I want to be your wife forever." I nodded, agreeing with my girl when she told me that. "Good, because that's my plans too. However, one thing that I have to say; is that you never leave me off of your emergency contact ever again." Gabby laughed, agreeing with me when I said that. "And that's not something you can get mad at me about. I know we said that we make decisions together, but that isn't something you say no to. That's something you do because I'm your husband, the man you love; and because I'm your partner in life."
Gabby agreed with me as I told her that. "And I am so proud of the fact that you're the man I have as my partner in life." I agreed with Gabby when she told me that, smiling as I felt the same way. "Good, because I feel the same way. But now, can we go back to the other topic?" Gabby agreed. "Remind me what it was baby?" I smiled at her. "About how I don't want to be the husband who yells at his wife. I really mean that baby. I hated that I yelled at you that way but…I just got scared, and that's just how I reacted." Gabby agreed with me when I said that, taking a breath. "Yeah, I can see that happening now." I nodded, agreeing with the woman of my dreams as she told me that. "I hate the fact that I yelled at you that way, and what I said to you; but I was just scared, and I hope you can understand that based on my previous experience. I mean, we've almost lost each other so many times baby; the first time that you were pregnant, I thought I lost you."
Gabby agreed with me when I told her that, well aware that was the truth. "Yeah, that definitely is something that I do not want to have to re-experience as it's quite scary." I agreed with Gabby when she told me that, smiling as I knew that was the case. "Yeah, I know how you feel. And I am just worried. Now that we're back together, I want that to be forever babe. I never want to risk losing you again." Gabby took a breath when I told her that. "Does that mean that you're re-thinking us having a baby?" I shook my head when Gabby asked if this meant that I was changing my mind on having a baby. "No, I'm still committed to doing that as safely as we can." Gabby agreed with me when I told her that, obviously glad that was the case. "You were scared for a moment that I was changing my mind, weren't you?" Gabby agreed with me when I asked her if she was scared for a moment that I was changing my mind. "I hate to say that I was baby." I agreed with her, smiling.
"Well, I'm not changing my mind. I'm just being honest with you, and I am going to keep being honest with you; after all, that's what you deserve both as my wife, and as the woman I love." Gabby agreed with me when I told her that, smiling as she looked at me. "And I hope that, when we're back in Chicago…we can do something for you to show me that." I was a bit confused when Gabby mentioned that. "What are you talking about baby? What can I do for you in Chicago?"
Gabby's POV:
Taking a breath when I heard Matt ask me what he can do for me when we're back in Chicago, I got worried due to the fact that I felt horrible for even saying this. I mean, this is not fair to him. Why would be even think this way? Heck why am I thinking this way. This isn't fair to him. Rather, I just need to take it easy and think through what I'm even saying. I mean, I really don't want to offend him; yet I do want to talk to him about this. And I think that Matt knew I was worried about offending him. "Baby, it's me. Just take a breath and talk to me, this is good; what we're doing right now is good, and we're going to just talk about this. Take a breath, think about what you want to tell me…and then just be honest with me. That's what we agreed to do on this trip, so I'm ready for complete honesty from you." I agreed with Matt, taking a breath when he told me that. I then went ahead and did exactly what he told me that he wants me to do right now, I was honest.
"I think that we need to go on more dates when we're back in Chicago, and back at work." Matt agreed with me when I said that. "Now, was that so hard?" I laughed, agreeing with Matt. "But I'm serious Matt. I think that we really need to do that. We need to go on more dates when we're back in Chicago, we need to have date nights and stuff. Heck, maybe we can even just do mini trips to a cabin or something every couple weeks. We can find a spot that we can escape to." Matt agreed with me when I said that, smiling at me; god, I love that smile, and I am so glad that it's the smile that I get to look at each and every day. I just love this man so much, and I am so glad that this is what we're talking about. "Is that too much to ask for?" Matt shook his head when I asked him whether us going on more dates is too much to ask for. "Hey, of course not baby. I think we can easily make that work, plus it means that I get more sex." I laughed when I heard Matt tell me that.
"God, you're becoming Severide!" Matt was confused when I said that. "What does that mean?" I just looked at him when he asked me that, smiling at my loving husband. "Oh, you know. He's just obsessed with sex. God, I swear; he and Stella have a way better…." Matt then put his hand up. "Okay, that's enough. I do not need to hear this. I get that Stella is your best friend, but I do not need to hear about my best friend's sex life. Don't get me wrong, I love that our best friends have fallen in love with each other; but that doesn't mean that I can do the sex talk." I agreed with Matt when he said that. "God, I swear; you made the same face that I made when me and Brett had a sex talk once. This is back when she was dating my brother." Matt laughed when I said that, coughing a bit. "Sorry…" I then went to grab him his water bottle, opening the cap as I passed it to him. "Here baby, take a sip of your water." Matt agreed with me when I said that, going to take a sip.
"Sorry, that just got awkward." I agreed with Matt when he said that, watching as he took another sip of water. Afterwards, he gave me the water back. Grabbing the water bottle from hip, I went to do the cap up and just smiled as I looked at the man of my dreams. God, I love him so much, and I am so glad that we're married; as this is the life that we've always wanted with each other. And I truly mean that. Matt is just the best husband in the entire world, and we are both very happy with each other. "Yeah, so that was really awkward." Matt nodded. "Yeah, let's not talk about that. But back to the whole mini-trip things." Matt agreed with me when I said that. "Yeah, I just want to get out of town a bit more. Time where we can spend together, and just be husband and wife; that is, rather than also having to be friends with other people. I hate to say this but, we always have to deal with both being married AND being good friends all the time." I agreed with Matt.
Taking a breath, I went to comment on that. "And I know that isn't the easiest of things to do all the time." Matt agreed with me when I said that. "Yeah, tell me about it…..and it's harder for me based on my situation." I looked at Matt when he said that, a bit confused as to why that's the case. "Baby, is everything okay between you and the firehouse?" Matt agreed, smiling when I asked him that. "Yeah, but that doesn't mean that I don't find the dynamic easy. I mean, Kelly's a Lieutenant…and I'm a captain. There are still times where there's friction in between the both of us, and that's never easy." I agreed with Matt when he said that, proceeding to grab his hand. Stroking it with my thumb, I smiled as I love this man so much. And I truly mean that, as he is the best man that I have ever met. There's nobody who has ever been more loyal and respectful to his friends than Mr. Matthew Casey, and I am very proud of the fact that he's my husband. "I'm proud of you."
Matt seemed a bit confused when I told him that. "What do you mean by that babe?" I smiled when Matt asked me that. "I mean exactly what I said. I mean that I'm proud of you. I mean that you just do an incredible job doing your captain thing, even though I also know that you have troubles with it each and every day." Matt agreed with me when I said that. "Well, it does take refining to do it all the time. But, at the same time, I do have a great support system. Boden has really helped me…and I'm glad that's the case." I agreed with Matt when he asked me that. "Just curious, do you ever see yourself becoming a chief?" Let's just say that it got a bit awkward after I asked Matt that, him taking a breath. "Honestly, I haven't really ever thought about that question."