Chapter 10: The Second Break

A/n: Just a warning, this chapter will contain mentions of child abuse, the child blaming themselves for the abuse, as well as the child claiming the abuse was their abuser's way of helping them, so if you are uncomfortable with this topic, please do not read this, as the main bulk of this chapter is discussing these topics.

Thank you for understanding, and take care of yourselves. :)

Dumbledore stood up, announcing before anyone could move, "Alright, as the video has just ended, I believe we should start lunch, then, afterward, we will continue watching more of the videos before eating dinner." Many people started to make their way to where they wanted to sit around the tables that had suddenly appeared.

Harry stood up and decided to sit next to Remus and Sirius at one of the seven tables, as there were added tables so there would be a place for everyone to sit. "Hey Uncle Remus, can I sit here?"

Remus looked up from where he was talking to Sirius, "Of course, pup." Remus moved over so that Harry could sit to the right of Remus, with Sirius directly across from them.

"So Harry, how have you been doing? With school and everything," Sirius asked, quickly jumping at the opportunity to talk to his godson more. "Well, I mean, my classes are good, the same as normal. Snape still takes every chance he can to pick on me in some way."

Sirius frowned at Harry's response, clearly hoping for Harry to tell him about some marvelous prank he pulled on his classmates- or better yet, teachers. "Well has school at least been going better than last year? For me school just got better each year I was there," Sirius said, trying to stir up more conversation.

"Uhm, sort of, but it's the same as before." Harry was getting more fidgety under the attention of Sirius and Remus and almost jumped at the opportunity to talk about something unrelated to him, "I heard that you have been staying at your old house, Sirius, do you like it there?"

Sirius at first was confused at the change in conversation, but welcomed it anyway. "It's alright, though I do wish I could leave more often, it brings up many bad memories that I would rather forget." Sirius didn't care for his family's house more so than he cared about what celebrity wizard scandal the Daily Prophet was reporting on. This is to say, Sirius didn't care very much about it, and would rather not pay attention to it if he could.

Harry nodded, understanding Sirius not wanting to bring up bad memories of his past, "Do you think you'll be able to permanently leave the house soon?" Sirius sighed, "I think it's still too soon to tell, pup."

Remus noticed the quickly dwindling conversation between godfather and godson and decided to bring up the videos they just watched. "Harry, I- actually we, have become very concerned about you." Harry didn't like where he thought Remus was going with this. "We have noticed that you don't like to talk very much, which would be fine, but it's to an alarming extent that you don't talk. Whenever anyone brings up their, or your, childhood, you almost shut down. Harry, you need to understand that we're just worried about you. We don't mean any of this in a bad way," Remus continued, trying to keep Harry from shutting down the conversation.

"Harry, please listen," Sirius tried, as Harry was looking at the table, away from Sirius and Remus. Remus gently put his hand on Harry's shoulder, but instead of Harry turning back towards him as he expected, instead, Harry flinched. Harry hoped neither Marauder noticed it, but when he turned around to face them, he could tell based on their sad- and almost furious, in Sirius' case- expressions that they saw it.

"Harry?" Remus took his hand off Harry's shoulder, not wanting to make him more uncomfortable. "Harry, what was that?" Sirius asked, trying to see if Harry had just truly been scared by Remus, or if something more was going on.

Harry stumbled through a sentence, trying to cover up what had happened, "What? What- no, nothing happened. Why?" Harry knew that Sirius and Remus could tell. Their facial expressions gave it away. But even so, Harry still tried to defend himself. He didn't want them to know. No one was supposed to know.

"I'm fine. Nothing happened," Harry tried to change the conversation, "I think lunch is supposed to be served soon, what do you think there's going to be?" Sirius and Remus shared a glance at each other, and Harry knew that they weren't going to drop the conversation anytime soon.

"Harry, why- why didn't you tell us?" Sirius didn't want to sound accusatory, as he knew that would only make things worse, but he still wanted to test out the waters and see how this conversation might go. "Why didn't I tell you what?" Harry asked, and Sirius knew that he would have to spell it out for Harry to understand that they knew.

"Why didn't you tell us you were abused?"

That sentence made Harry stop. He thought back to when he lived with the Dursleys, before coming to Hogwarts. The pain, the bruises, the punches, the kicks, everything. He remembered it all, and he hated it. He couldn't explain what he was feeling exactly, it was a mix between anger, sorrow, sadness, confusion, embarrassment, and shame.

He was angry at the Dursleys for making him go through that at all, he was angry at Sirius and Remus for bringing it up, for noticing, and most of all, he was angry at himself. He was angry at himself for not trying harder to cover up his pain, the scars, the nightmares. He was angry at himself for not shutting down Sirius and Remus' questioning. And he was angry at himself for letting it get this far. For letting the Dursleys do that to him. For letting himself go for this long without punishment. He deserved what the Dursleys did, they were just punishing him, and as his guardians, that was only fair. He must have done something truly horrible to deserve that kind of punishment.

No wonder the Dursleys didn't want him going to Hogwarts, they wouldn't be able to continue punishing him. Harry could continue his punishment by punishing himself, he knew of some ways he could do that. The Dursleys didn't abuse him. They were only helping him.

"Harry?" Sirius asked, worried that Harry hadn't said anything, or even moved for the last couple minutes. "It's okay, Harry, we're not blaming you for anything," Remus added, trying to start the conversation about what happened to Harry wasn't his fault.

After Harry continued to sit there for another couple of minutes, Sirius and Remus became more concerned. "Harry, please talk to us. Please just say something," Sirius begged, knowing that if you didn't have help, recovering mentally from abuse was very difficult. He was grateful that James, Euphemia, and Fleamont, Harry's Dad and Grandparents, all helped him while he recovered from the abuse he suffered at his parents' hands.

"Please, Harry-" Sirius was cut off by Harry, "No, I wasn't- I couldn't have been abused. They didn't abuse me- they- they were just punishing me." Remus knew that he had to take this conversation one step at a time, "What were they punishing you for?"

Harry had to think, what were they punishing him for? Come to think of it, he couldn't remember. He couldn't remember when they started punishing him, it was just a part of his daily life, and he accepted that. Everyone was punished when they were a kid, were they not?

Harry sat there, thinking about what they could have possibly been punishing him for, and even though he was still searching for an answer, Remus and Sirius had already gotten theirs. Remus closed his eyes, trying to hold in his emotions. Why? Why did this have to happen to Harry? He didn't deserve this.

"Harry, you're not going to go back there, understand?" Sirius was the one to break the silence, seeing as Harry was still stuck in his thoughts and Remus was trying not to either cry or let his wolf lash out in fury against the Dursleys.

"Why not?" Harry asked, still trying to hold out hope that his godfathers didn't know. "Why not? Harry, they abused you. That is not okay!" Sirius raised his voice some, but as a couple of students glanced in their direction, he lowered his voice again.

"Harry, the Dursleys abused you, that is not okay. What they did to you is a crime, and they will pay for what they did. Pup, please listen, they will never have custody of you again, that's for sure." Sirius said again, and he was determined to say it again and again until Harry understood.

The moment was broken by food appearing on the table suddenly, making Harry jump in his seat. Harry saw the food and just felt nauseous. The Dursleys wouldn't have allowed him to eat. They always limited his food intake, so why would they allow him to eat food now?

Harry didn't make a move to eat any of the food on the table or even put any on his plate. He wouldn't be able to stomach it. Remus saw this and started serving Harry small portions of food that were in bowls in front of Harry.

"Eat, Harry, we won't have any more time to talk before the next video, so we will just have to continue talking during the next break," Remus said, trying not to force Harry to do anything too harshly, as he knew that would only make Harry pull away from them more.

Harry just sat in his seat, staring at the food. Sirius stopped eating his food and started watching Harry. "Harry… you need to eat something," Sirius continued, "Just start by eating a grape, or something." Harry shook his head, he wasn't supposed to be eating. He was supposed to be punished.

This is what it was like for the entire lunch, Harry refused to eat entirely, and Remus and Sirius just spent the entire time trying to encourage him to eat. Once they were finished eating lunch and the food had disappeared, the three of them made their way to the seats where they had been sitting before, with Harry snuggling up with Blaise on their couch, closer to Sirius and Remus than before.

"Hey, amore mio, what's wrong?" (my love) Blaise, as much as he loved Harry's affection, was concerned at how quiet Harry was. "Stai bene?" (Are you okay?) Harry nodded, not saying a word. Harry just hugged Blaise tighter, placing his head in the crook of Blaise's neck. "Non lo so." (I do not know.)

Blaise looked at Harry with worry, but before he could say anything, Dumbledore stood up, "Now that lunch is over, it is time for us to continue with our next video." People finished settling in their seats as the next video started playing.

Published: 5/15/2023