Hi Readers: I wanted to let you know before you read this chapter, that this chapter will take place on week after the previous chapter; but other than that, there's nothing else I need to tell you about the story for now. Enjoy!
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Three
The PTSD Conversation – Part One
One week later – February 22nd, Casey Home
They've been staying away from the office at "their big house". As in, the home that's great for entertaining by the pool; the pool which is surrounded by a fire pit, and a nice outdoor kitchen that they have. And they've been here for the past five days now, and there was a reason for that; it was for Matt's health. More specifically, his mental health. And that was due to the fact that his mental health has truly been on a downward spiral for the past few days, as the former firefighter just doesn't comprehend just what was truly going on right now. It's put him in this hard situation, a situation in which he just doesn't really know what to say; and he also feeds quite depressed right now, as well as being incredibly confused. There's just something going on with him that truly baffles him, and that he can't explain; and the fact that he can't explain how he's feeling right now, it just frustrates him to the core as he just needs to know what's going on. But he doesn't.
He doesn't know what's going on with himself, but he's still trying to be strong for his wife; as she needs him right now, as she's pregnant with their twins. But the truth was, Gabby could see behind the façade; she could just see that he was clearly just putting on a brave face for her sake, which made her sad. And even worse, she hated the fact that she didn't recognize the man who was currently sitting outside; she knows who he is, he's Matt. He's the man he loves, and he'll always be the man she loves; but he just isn't the same man that he was a year earlier, and she truly wonders whether he ever will be. But that didn't mean that she's going to give up on her marriage, as she will never give up on their marriage; especially after everything that they've been through, and all the work that they did over the past five months to get back to a good place in their marriage. But this was something different, something that she really just can't understand right now.
And the truth was, she highly doubts that she's ever going to truly understand just what her husband is going through right now; and that's due to the fact that he's gone through so much more, which was why Matt was currently sitting outside. He was just taking some time right now, time to think as he's really having problems; problems that he was quite ashamed of (even though he shouldn't be ashamed of it whatsoever). And that was why she called in reinforcements. More specifically, she called Matt's best friend so that he could be here and help her try and figure stuff out; and she also hoped that he would be able to make him feel better. But before she spoke to Severide, Gabby decided to fill him in on what's been happening recently. Just looking at Kelly, Gabby took a breath as she went to look at him. "Kelly, I hope you know that I really appreciate you coming here; especially when I know that you and Stella need to work on…." Kelly just stopped her.
"Hey, don't even say anything more Gabby. Gabby, Matt's my best friend…and my brother; there's nothing I wouldn't do for him. And after what I heard last week, I know that he's not okay right now. And if you need me to help you in whatever way, then I am more than happy to help you out; plus, it's not like I'm working right now." Gabby took a breath when she heard Kelly say that, well aware that this truly has wrecked all of their plans; and that's due to the fact that they have decided to put their plans of really creating a company on hold, for good reason. Right now, Matt is barely able to function when it comes to just talking about how he's feeling. So, Gabby told Matt that she doesn't want him to work (as you already know); instead, Matt needs to take time away and just concentrate on his mental health. That way, he can make sure that he's in the best mental health space that he can possibly be in when they welcome their twins in three months.
That means that she's now in her last trimester. They've already booked her c-section, and she's going to be giving birth on May 21st, 2019. And she just hoped and prayed that Matt would feel better by the time they have kids; but if he wasn't, then they would figure I tout. At the end of the day, Matt is her husband; and she plans on being there for him, for the rest of their life. That's when Kelly brought her out of her thoughts. "How long has he just been sitting out there?" Gabby sighed when Kelly asked her that question, as she hasn't been tracking the time. She wishes she did, as she wants to know that too; but she doesn't know, so she decided to tell him what she does know. "He's been sitting out there off and on. He's so lost Kelly. He doesn't know what's going on, and he's starting to get scared with all that's going on." Kelly agreed with the wife when she said that, clearly able to see that she was quite worried for the man that they both love in different ways.
To Gabby: he's her loving husband, and the future father of her twins. Meanwhile, he's his best friend, and the man that he's always (secretly) looked up to. And that's why he's here right now. He was ready to talk to his friend, but he needed some more information from his wife first, which was exactly what Gabby proceeded to give him. "Hawaii has given him a lot more time to think, and he's just concerned right now. He's starting to shut down, and he's not talking as much. Kelly, I need my husband back a bit; if that makes sense." Kelly agreed with the CEO's wife, agreeing with her. "Gabby, of course I understand that. You need him so that you can lean on him, and so that he can be there when you give birth." Gabby agreed with Kelly when he said that, before proceeding to grab his hand so that she can show him a bit of gratitude; gratitude that he's here so that he can go talk to his best friend. "Listen, how about you go relax downstairs with Stella?"
Gabby agreed with Kelly when he said that, taking a breath as she proceeded to hug him. "Thanks so much Kelly." Kelly shook his head when he heard Gabby thank you, as there was no reason for her to thank him; especially when he wants to be here for his best friend, as that's his job right now. He needs to be there for his friend, as well as his wife. "Gabby, there's no need to thank me. I want the same thing as you. I want him to feel better, as that's what we all need right now; we need to have our friend back, and you need to have your husband back." Gabby smiled when she heard Kelly say that, as that was definitely the truth. "Listen, I am going to go relax downstairs with Stella as we read that book you got her; then, I can take away the myths that she reads in that classic book." Kelly laughed when he heard Gabby say that, agreeing with her; after all, that's something that she definitely needs to go do with his wife. "Go enjoy yourself with Stella."
Gabby sighed when Kelly said that, as she wasn't too sure just how much she was going to be able to do that; especially when she's worried about her husband. "I'll try my best. But I'm not sure just how I'm going to be able to do that, when I am quite worried about my husband right now." Kelly agreed with Gabby when she said that, smiling as she walked away so that she could go relax with Stella. But first, Kelly remembered something that he needs to ask her. "Oh, Gabby?" Turning around to look at Kelly, Gabby was confused. "What is it Kelly?" Grabbing some cigars that he had in his pocket, Kelly showed them to Gabby. "Do you mind if me and Matt have some?" Thinking about it, Gabby smiled. "I think that Matt would love that, and I think he needs it." Kelly looked at Gabby when she said that, seemingly surprised that she was okay with the idea of them smoking. "Are you sure that you're okay with it? I know he's been against it because you are…"
Gabby then went to reassure Kelly that she was okay with it, because she knew that he could easily get hell from his wife; after all, his wife is his best friend. "I will tell Stella that I gave you the okay with giving Matt a cigar, and she will not yell at you; I promise Kelly." Kelly agreed with Gabby when she said that, taking a breath. "Oh, and Gabby?" Gabby then looked at Kelly. "Yes?" Kelly sighed. "If you do shopping, can you maybe…" Gabby laughed. "Not happening. I am not paying for the stuff for your twins until we know the gender. And Kelly, I am not even shopping for your twins. Today, I am shopping for my twins; as I need to take a bit of time to relax." Kelly agreed with Gabby when she said that, smiling at her. "Gabby, promise me that you take it easy too?" Gabby sighed. "Not too sure if that's possible, because I'm always going to worry about Matt; and that's never going to change." Kelly agreed with his best friend's wife, well aware that was the case.
"Gabby, just take it easy; and I promise to take care of him for now. Go be with my wife, and just relax. In fact,…. STELLA!" Stella then yelled back. "YEAH?" Kelly then yelled again. "I want you to help Gabby relax when she comes down, no shopping for our twins, only for Gabby! She needs a distraction." Stella agreed with Kelly when he said that. "Then girl, come downstairs so that you can shop for the twins!" Gabby laughed, shaking her head before looking at Kelly. "Thanks Kelly." Kelly agreed with Gabby when she said that, well aware that she was grateful for him right now. "Go downstairs and take it easy okay?" Gabby agreed with Kelly when he said that, proceeding to leave her room so that she can make her way downstairs and be with Stella. At the same time, Kelly went ahead and walked out to go make his way out onto the top deck of Matt and Gabby's home; and that started with him walking up the stairs to his and Gabby's rooftop patio.
He was currently sitting outside, trying to work a bit on his iPad; but he just couldn't do it, as he was still not ready to do that. He just couldn't do it, as he wasn't in the right headspace to work; not when he's worried about how he's feeling, and when he's causing Gabby to worry about him. He's trying to hide how he's feeling from her, but he knows that it's not working; she's extremely worried about him, and he knows it. That's when Matt heard the door from their bedroom to the rooftop deck close. "Babe, I'm fine; I promise. I'm breathing and taking it easy like you told me to." Kelly just snickered a bit when he heard Matt say that, as he was not his babe; rather, he's his best friend. "Last time I checked, I'm not your babe; rather, I'm your best friend." Turning his head to look at Kelly, Matt felt a bit embarrassed over the fact that he just called Kelly his babe. "Oh, sorry man." Kelly shook his head when heard Matt say that, not wanting him to feel sorry…especially not after all he's gone through so far. Taking a breath, Matt got up so that he can hug his best friend this morning.
Walking up to Matt, Kelly proceeded to hug him. "What are you doing here man?" Kelly sighed as he leaned back, looking at his friend while showing him a cigar that he brought, which made him realize something, and that was that Gabby called him. "Gabby called you?" Kelly took a breath when he heard Matt ask him whether his wife called him, which she did. "Uhm. Man, just sit down so that we can talk okay? We need to talk together." Matt sighed. "Can you at least tell me whether Gabby's okay?" Kelly sighed. "She's really concerned for you, and she feels like she doesn't have her husband with her anymore." Matt sighed when he heard Kelly say that, as he hated that Gabby felt that way; especially since he was the reason that she felt that way. It's not like he's trying to feel this way on purpose, but he just needs to talk about it. "I'm sorry, I know that…" Kelly shook his head, well aware of the fact that his best friend is going to try and say that he's going to try and do whatever he can to fix what's going on; but that's not what he wants to hear right now, he's just here to talk.
"Hey, don't you dare go there Matt; just take it easy and breathe okay? Just breathe, and let's both sit down okay? We're going to sit down and just relax. We're going to talk, and you're going to open up to me so that I can know how I can help you. Because that's what I'm here to do right now man. I'm here so that I can help you. We're all here so that we can help you." Matt agreed with his best friend when he said that, looking at the cigars that he has in his hands. "Man, I can't. My wife is…" Kelly then stopped him again, ready to tell him what Gabby said. "Who do you think called me, and told me that you can have one? I just showed her the cigar, and she said that you can have one." Matt agreed with his best friend when he said that as he was ready to do just that. "Well, if the wife says yes; then who am I going to argue with you?" Kelly laughed a bit when he heard his best friend say that, giving him the cigar so that they can both share a cigar while they talk. "Just to let you know, your wife is going downstairs to shop with my wife." Matt laughed and agreed with Kelly.
Matt's POV:
Sitting down on the rooftop patio with my best friend, I let out a puff of smoke from my cigar; and god, it felt so good. "I swear, this is perfect. And it feels nice to have some nicotine in my presence again." Kelly agreed with me when I said that, well aware that was the case. However, we both know that wasn't the only reason that we're going to be up here smoking; as I know that Gabby called him here, so that he can talk to me. Just taking a breath, I went to start the topic. "What do you want to know?" Kelly sighed when he heard me ask him that, well aware that I was not going to let him string me along much longer. "Just take it easy, and relax man; we can take our time, as we don't really have a rush right now. I have time off after all." I sighed when he said that. "Sorry about that." Kelly shook his head. "No, don't even go there Matt. Gabby already filled me in on everything, and you need to prioritize your health; you don't need to prioritize starting a business."
I agreed with Kelly when he said that, taking a breath due to the fact that it felt nice to know that I can talk to somebody other than my wife about this; not that I've ever doubted the fact that I can talk to someone other than my wife, especially since I shared this with all of them. "So, do you think we can talk about all of this some more? What can I help you with?" I sighed when Kelly asked me that, before looking at him. "Honestly, I have no clue where to start with all that's going on with me." Kelly took a breath when I said that, agreeing with me. "Matt, I hate to even ask about this but; how long has this been going on man? I mean, this can't just come out of nowhere. We both know that things don't work that way. This has to start with a lot of things." I took a breath as I looked at my best friend, who has the same experience as me. "Man, I don't want to have an argument though. I need you to promise me that you will just understand, and not argue with me."
Kelly agreed with me when I said that, well aware of the fact that I am going to be bringing up a lot of topics; and one of them is related to Andy, our best friend that died. And that was why I decided to just get it over with. "And that's why I'm just going to get it over with." Kelly agreed with me when I said that, nodding as he looked at me. "Andy's death." I then went ahead and proceeded to tell him why that was the case. "Dude, here's the thing. I get you were mad at me, and I know you suffered too. But you know what, I suffered more. Kelly, we were both officers; and we know what happens when a man dies on our watch, we take it hard. And he died on my watch." Kelly agreed with me when I said that. "Yeah, I guess that does make it a lot harder; doesn't it?" I took a breath while also taking a puff of my cigar. "Yeah, also add on the fact that he died right in front of me; like I had to watch my best friend die. That's just something you can't forget."
I bit my lip. "Man, it's permanently etched in my mind; just like the faces that I saw when I had to tell Ben and Griffin that he was dead, because we need to do that as officers. You really think that was easy?" Kelly then thought about it. "Oh god, I can't even think about that. I don't think that I ever could've done that." I agreed with Kelly when he told me that. "Tell me about it, it was horrible." Kelly just looked at he as he grabbed my hand, rubbing it. Afterwards, I went to take another puff of my cigar. "You can't tell me that's it though man. I know you, it's not just Andy's death." I shook my head when Kelly asked me that. "Oh no, it's the other death that I had to deal with just eight months later." Kelly turned his head when I said that. "God, was it really only eight months?" I nodded. "Andy at the start of September, Hallie at the start of May." Kelly shook his head when I said that, just shocked that it was the sake. "God, that's just horrible. Man, I'm so sorry."
I agreed with him. "It's a lot of death to go through in eight months." Kelly agreed with me when I said that, as he was unable to deny that it was the truth. "Oh definitely. That's just horrible. Two deaths within eight months." I nodded, just taking a breath. "And that's just that year. Add in the fact that I was also abused by my father…" Kelly just agreed with me. "Yeah, that stays with you for a while; doesn't it?" Matt sighed as he took a puff of his cigar again. "Definitely. It's horrible, and I just hate the fact that I'm still dealing with it all these years later." Kelly shook his head when I said that. "Dude, you have every right to deal with it for as long as you have to; and I think that Jay would agree with me as I tell you that." That's when the two gentleman heard one Jay Halstead make his way over. "Sorry I'm late guys; Gabby called me, and I didn't know whether I would be back from my trip to see Will." Turning my head, I snickered a bit.
"Let me guess, Gabby asked you to join us?" Jay agreed with me when I asked him that, watching as I got up. "So, you guys have a cigar for me?" Kelly laughed when Jay asked him that. "Sorry, I didn't know you were coming." Jay laughed. "Oh, I was joking. I'm not smoking when my dad had a heart attack and died of it." I agreed with Jay when he said that, taking a breath as I knew that was the truth. "Sorry if I haven't reached out to you as much, I know that I sh…" Jay just looked at me when I said that. "Hey, don't even say that Matt. I know that you have a lot on your mind right now. You have a lot on your mind. Your wife, and learning how to deal with this is a lot." Matt sighed as he looked at Jay, taking a breath. "How do you deal with it?" Jay sighed. "You learn to live with it." Setting his cigar down, Matt got up and proceeded to go hug Jay. "Thanks for coming, I like the fact that we have a chance to talk to each other. I just need to talk to someone."
Jay agreed with Matt when he said that. "Nothing against this Kelly, but I think that's why Gabby called me specifically; as there's just something different that I can bring to the table, as someone with PTSD." Kelly agreed with Jay when he said that, well aware that was the case. Getting up too, he proceeded to make his way to hug him shortly after he joined them.
The military veteran took a seat with the former firefighters shortly after sharing a hug with his boss, having decided to join them as they talked about this; especially since he always told Matt, that he would be here for him if he needed to talk about it with him. And based on what he heard from Gabby earlier, he knew that was the case right now. He just knew that he needed to talk to someone who has PTSD, which was him. But he can talk to Severide too, as he can definitely be a good resource in the future too. But that was not what they're going to concentrate on right now. Rather, they're going to concentrate on the fact that they're here now; and that he's ready to talk to his boss in whatever way he can, so that he can show him the support that he needs right now. But first, he needed to be caught up on what's happened so far, which was exactly what Matt was in the midst of doing. "Well, I just spoke to Kelly about how I'm still dealing with Andy's death."
Jay agreed with Matt when he said that, well aware that it's hard to deal with someone who dies in the line of duty. Kelly then went to add on. "And how he's always taken it harder than me, which I finally understand now."
Jay's POV:
Taking a breath when I heard Kelly say that, I really hated that I was even going to ask the two gentlemen this; because I don't want to bring more trouble to his conversation, when I am here to give Matt help. I want to help him through this, not cause him more problems; and that was where I was going to start what I was going to say. "Okay listen, I don't want to sound insensitive…." Matt laughed when I said that, well aware of what I was going to be asking him. "You need to understand the background of that statement?" I sighed when Matt asked me that question, as that was exactly what I was thinking about. "I'm sorry that's the case." Matt shook his head. "Hey, don't apologize. If you need information, then I need to give it to you. But the thing is…Andy died literally right in front of my eyes." Matt then took a breath. "We were on top of the ladder climbing into a window." I saw Matt take a breath, and I just knew that this was part of his PTSD.
"Hey, just take it easy Matt; I know that this is hard for you to talk about. I can already see that's the case." Matt agreed with me as I told him that, as it sure was the case. "Yeah. Well, I was also right behind him; and he died when a huge fireball engulfed him. So when I saw that I literally watched my best friend die in front of my eyes, I truly mean that. He died right in front of me." I took a breath when I heard him say that, as I could definitely relate. "Unfortunately, I can't say that it gets any easier; that pain sticks with you for a long time." Matt turned to look at me when I said that. "And you've dealt with the same type of pain?" I took a breath, agreeing with Matt when he asked me that question, as I definitely have dealt with the same type of pain. "May I remind you guys that I am a former cop, and that I have done two tours of duty; one in Afghanistan, and the other in Iraq. And I've seen people die in car bomb explosions." I then took a breath.
And it was as if someone just told my beautiful wife to come up here, and I knew that was the case as she was now standing behind me and wrapping her arms around my neck. Bending down, she then kissed my cheek and smiled as she whispered to me. "Hey, sorry guys." Matt and Kelly then turned to look at Alex, smiling. "Hey." Alex then went to whisper in my ear. "Gabby told me what you guys are going to talk about, so I just wanted to come up here and remind you that I'm just a call away okay? I don't care if Matt and Kelly are here, I'm here too Jay; and if you need me, then I'll come right back up okay baby?" I agreed with Alex when she said that, before getting up; after all, I wanted to give her a kiss. Just getting close to the woman I love; I smiled as I wrapped my arms around her. After which, she put her hands on my arms and just took things nice and slow with me. "I love you, now have a good conversation." I agreed with her, smiling as she told me that.
Alex then proceeded to walk away to head back inside. At the same time, I went ahead and went to sit down with the guys so that we can continue with our conversation; me not wanting to gross them out anymore with a nice make out with my wife. But still, I will definitely take one later. Just looking at me, Matt smiled a bit. "How do you get to that place?" I was confused when Matt asked me that. "What place are you talking about Matt?" Matt sighed. "To a place where you can just go from talking about PTSD really quick? And then be all happy with your wife?" I sighed. "It's all about practice." Matt agreed with me as I said that. "Yeah, that makes sense." I then took a breath. "And you need to remember that I've been dealing this for much longer than you have, so I have learned a bunch of things over time. Things that I can already assure you that you're going to learn about Matt. This is a huge learning curve. And it's not a one size fits all thing."
Severide agreed with me when I said that, well aware that it can easily be the case. "Oh, I can see that being the case; as I can already see huge differences between the way things happened for you guys." I agreed with Kelly when he said that, taking a breath as I looked at Matt. "Matt, do you want to go back to the similar type of pain that we unfortunately share with each other? You know, the one where we've both watched a really good friend of ours die in front of our eyes?" Matt sighed when I asked him that. "God, this is early to have this talk." I agreed with Matt when he said that. After all, I was ready to take things slower if he wants to do just that. "If you want to slow things down, then we can Matt. Like I said, this is a huge learning curve; and you have the right to slow down during this conversation, as I have done that multiple times before." Matt took a breath, and just agreed with me when I said that. "I just feel like I need to start." I agreed with him.
"I mean, I hope we all agree that this is a safe space; and there's not going to be any judging." Severide just looked at Matt when he said that. "Hey, don't you dare think that we're going to judge you Matt; that's just not going to happen, because we want to be here to help you right now. We're here because we want to help you. That's just the truth, and I hope that you can believe us." That's when another voice joined the conversation. "And if you don't believe these two, then you're required to believe me; or else your wife will be really mad at you." Turning his head, Matt smiled when he saw his brother-in-law make his way upstairs. "How did I know that you were going to join us?" Making his way over to Matt, Antonio proceeded to hug him to give him some comfort. "I volunteered to come after hearing what Jay and Kelly were going to do with you today, because I know that it'll mean a lot to my sister if I'm here with you right now." Matt agreed with Toni.
"Plus, not like I have anything better to do." Matt shook his head when he heard Antonio say that. "You could always go back to Chicago and visit your kids." Antonio thought about it, before shivering (which made us all laugh). "Yeah, because I am not going to do that when it's cold out. Now, where are we?" Matt sighed. "Kelly…" Kelly did it right away and just went to speak up. "We're doing Andy's death. Did Gabby ever tell you how he died?" Antonio agreed with Kelly when he asked him that, taking a breath. "Yeah, and I was at the funeral. Believe me, I talked to my sister to see how she was after that day. It always hits the entire city hard when another one of us dies." Making his way over to one of the chairs, Antonio made sure to bring it close to that he could join the conversation; at the same time, Matt went ahead and sat back down while looking at all of us so that we could continue the conversation.
Matt's POV:
As I looked at all of the guys who are currently gathered around me right now, I couldn't help but be happy about the fact that I'm currently surrounded by a bunch of my friends and family as we prepared to talk about PTSD; and just how I can deal with it. It truly means a lot to me that they're here, and I want to start this second part of the conversation by telling them just that. "Before we start, I just want to say that it really means a lot to me that you guys are here to support me." Antonio agreed with me when I said that, well aware that I was really happy that he was here for me. "Hey, that's what family does for family; and that's exactly what we are Matt, we're family." I agreed with Toni when he told me that, well aware that was the case. "That, and you were scared of what your sister would do if you didn't come." Grabbing his water bottle, Antonio went to take a sip as he tried to hide the fact that it was true. However, I just knew that it was true.
"Oh, we both know that it's the truth; so don't hide that it's the case." Antonio agreed with me when I said that, nodding. "Okay, so where were we?" I took a breath and looked at Jay. Jay then turned to look at Antonio and gave him a quick update. "Matt just explained how Andy's death led to him having PTSD, how he died right in front of his eyes…." Antonio then looked at him. "That was just my way to get us back on topic. I already know how he died, from my sister. She gave me a bunch of information in case you ever got too overwhelmed." I took a breath, before smiling as I thought about how good my wife is to me. "I swear, I am not worthy of that wife of mine." Antonio smirked when I said that, agreeing with me. "Isn't that the truth." I then turned to look at my brother in law, not that happy with that comment. "Just remember that you're still in the running to be a godfather, and that decisions have yet to be made Mr. Dawson." Antonio then shut up.
Kelly laughed as I said that, going ahead with taking a puff of his cigar. "Now, if that isn't the best way to keep him in line." I agreed with Kelly when he said that, before turning his head. "The same goes for you bud. I'm getting two sons, and that means four godparents. Stay on my good side if you and your wife want to be one of the godparents." Kelly laughed when I said that. "Yeah, tell that to your wife; who will basically slap you for saying that Mr. Casey." I thought about it, and just agreed with him; well aware of the fact that Gabby has already chosen Stella and Kelly, along with Antonio and my sister to be godparents. "Ok, let's just get back on topic." Antonio agreed with me when I said that. "OK. Now I think we all know that Andy's death can't be the only think that can cause you to have PTSD." Jay looked at Antonio when he said that, nodding. "I'm sure that there's a lot more." I took a breath, sighing. "Hallie's Death." Jay then looked at me.
"Sorry, remind me who Hallie was again?" Antonio then went to slap his arm. "Seriously? Hallie Thomas. The woman your idiot father-in-law basically stalked." I snickered when I heard Antonio say that, because that was the truth. "Oh, and it was all because I refused to take back my complain regarding your late brother-in-law." Jay sighed. "And brother-in-arms. I just hate how they treated him, as they definitely did him dirty." I agreed with Jay when he said that, well aware that was the case. "He didn't deserve that. Can't say the same about Hank at the time." Jay just looked at me when I said that. "Hey, he made me loose someone I love; he lost someone he loves. Eye for an eye." Jay then thought about it, and agreed with me as I said that. "Yeah, that makes sense. God, I swear that man just really doesn't know when to stop calling us. He's really starting to annoy us so much, that he's abusing the fact that he has my work number." I sighed.
"Talk about the perfect transition to another reason why I have PTSD." Jay was confused when I said that. "And what might that be?" I sighed. "The fact that I was abused by my father." Kelly took a breath when I said that, as he's well aware of the fact that I was abused by my father. "Yeah, that's something hard." I then took a breath. "Oh, and then add in the fact that he's the reason that I have this life now; the best like that I've ever had, and it's a bunch of mixed emotions. This has just been a real rollercoaster, and it's not fun whatsoever." Antonio agreed with me when I said that, well aware of just what my father did to me in the past. "I swear, your father shouldn't have the honor to call you his son; heck, you should've even call him your father anymore Matt. He hasn't earned that right for a long time." I thought about it, and just agreed with Antonio when he said that. "You know what, yeah. I agree with you. He's not my dad anymore, he's just Greg to me."
Jay agreed with me as I said that. "Hey, at least I'm not the only one with a deadbeat dad. Well, what I thought was an abusive dad. God, I just learned that he was at all of my ceremonies; but I just never knew. I swear, that was so hard." I agreed with Jay when he said that, having gotten that call from his brother that he died. "Why do you think that I let you take some time off Jay?" Jay just looked at me when I said that. "To think, why did you? I never told…" I then went to tell him. "I'm friends with Will from when Hallie was in Med school, he called me to get you time off." Jay agreed with me as I told him that. "Thanks Matt." I agreed with him when he said that, smiling as I was glad that I could be of service. "Hey, anything to help you." Jay agreed with me, smiling as I told him that; obviously quite happy after what I did for him.
"I owed it for him after what he did for Gabby a couple years ago now." Jay was confused as I said that. "What exactly did my brother do for Gabby again?" I sighed, before turning to look at him. "He saved her life when we lost our first child, and that was really hard on the both of us." Antonio agreed with me when I said that, as that definitely was the truth. Yet, at the same time; I knew that was not the only hard thing. "Oh, and then us having to basically loose another child like 15 months later." Antonio sighed when I said that, well aware that was the case. "I know that was definitely hard for the both of you." I agreed with Antonio when he said that. "Oh, but that was nothing compared to what I just did four months later." Antonio then put his hand up. "Okay, I am definitely not commenting on this." Kelly then took a breath, already aware of it.
"You talking about the time when you said goodbye in a fire?"