12
Peace was the only way I could describe how sleeping in this strange place felt. Nothing about this place read safe. Did I even know what the word 'safe' meant, after the childhood I had? Unlikely... To my mother and sisters, I was an outcast, beneath them, and broken. No matter what I did, it was never good enough. Princess or not, I slept with one eye open for my safety. Several attempts on my life made it an essential practice. None of them could be trusted, just like everyone here. But could I trust, 'him'?
This place wasn't very different from home, The city was crime-ridden and the people were dangerous... 'he' most of all. Yet in his bed, I slept in the deepest sleep I'd ever had. The inner voices trickled to a faint whisper as the sweet sensation of sleep consumed me. It smelled of crisp air and musk. That sensation, however, was short-lived. My mother's face flashed amongst the calm surrounding me. Her piercing gray eyes stared down at me. I watched her mouth move, but no words came out. However, I knew them all too well.
"...Failure…"
I tried to avert my eyes but my mother drew nearer. Inches from my face her mouth continued to move.
"...Clay... Broken..."
A shiver took hold of me, but a sudden sensation of warmth wrapped itself around me. Everything blurred until my mother's face was gone. I felt safe and warm.
"CUNT!"
A shrill yell pierced my senses, jolting me awake. A sea of voices were going back and forth, but his voice stood out.
"Ultraman," I said.
Still half asleep I felt a warmth of something against my cheek.
"Go back to sleep..." Ultraman said.
His thumb brushed against my cheek.
"You're safe here..." he continued. "...with me...
I turned my face into the palm of his hand and caught a whiff of crisp air. Lost in his scent and warmth, I heard him let out a deep growl. It vibrated outward into his hand.
"What does Darkseid have to do with us?"
The name Darkseid sent a shiver down my spine even if I wasn't sure why. The warmth from his touch turned molten in a matter of seconds. I opened my eyes and all I saw were his flaming eyes staring down at me. Fear overtook me as I watched his flames curl up to the heavens. He looked like the raging god that struck down Circe hours before.
The moment our eyes locked onto one another; I saw something in his eyes. The realization that I was frightened of him. Quickly he removed himself from my presence. Releasing my face, he zoomed off the bed and stood several feet from me. His massive body heaved up and down.
"... You came back…" I said softly.
My voice was trembling as I watched him move. He wasn't in an aggressive stance. A part of me still felt safe, but I wondered for how much longer. I tried to calm myself down but my heart raced at an ever-increasing speed.
"This is my house," he said back. "Why wouldn't I?"
His voice sounded so harsh and cold compared to the warmth of his body. As he spoke, I brushed off the blanket that was covering me. The large shirt J'onzz left for me slipped off my right shoulder, exposing my shoulder. The night air was still chill, yet something was pulling me closer to him. My feet moved on their own, for I had got out of his bed and started walking over to him. He kept his back towards me, even as I reached him.
"I didn't mean to make you…"
My eyes watched his shoulders continue to heave up and down rapidly. His muscles flexed as I placed my hand on the small of his back. My fingers suddenly felt the warmth that had calmed me in my sleep. Had he been in bed with me the whole night? The warm sensation spread from his back to my hand. He was big and broad. But at the same time, he was gentle. Flexing underneath my fingers as they moved.
My hands traced up to the middle of his back. I began to trace my fingers around the symbol. He cringed at my touch as I reached its peak and pulled away. My hand lingered in the air because of how fast he moved away from me.
"J'onzz will bring you something to wear," he said to me coldly.
There was a pain in his voice. My actions last night must have hurt him more than I thought. Guilt ripped through me.
"I'm sorry,"
I grabbed my wrists, a nervous habit from my young, to try and calm my nerves.
"I didn't mean to touch you without your consent,"
His shoulders relaxed.
"It's fine,"
There was a silence between us. I couldn't tell what it meant, but it probably wasn't good.
"What must he think of me?" I thought.
First, I try to kill him and then I touch him without asking. He must think I am some kind of savage woman.
"I'm not a killer…" I blurted out.
He kept his gaze away from me, continuing to stare out of the window. Again, another awkward silence. He was so hard to read.
"... My name is ... Diana," I said. "What should I call you? Ultraman seems like..."
I paused.
"...Clay to me. A name given, but not wanted..."
In a soft whisper, he said.
"Kal-El,"
Kal-El... I was taken aback by his usage of the name he was about to hurt J'onzz for using. He turned to face me. The flames in his eyes had subsided to a low simmer.
"Hello, Kal-El,"
I met his gaze with a smile, no matter how forced it was. A peace offering, that's what Alexia called it. I needed to greet him the 'man's world' way. So, I extended my right hand out. He stared down at it as if he wasn't sure what he was meant to do.
"It's nice to meet you…"
I started to say but, in a flash, he was gone. All that lingered was the breeze he left in his wake. My hair blew away from my face. I let out a long sigh. Yup, I've messed this up royally.
"Don't worry about him Diana," I heard J'onzz's voice come from behind me. "He's not a people person."
I looked back and saw J'onzz standing in the doorway holding two bags. He smiled at me which made the sadness at Ultraman leaving so abruptly subside slightly.
"I've brought you some clothes," he said as he stepped into the room.
I merely nodded at him as he placed the bags down beside me. They were filled with vibrant colors and fabrics that I had never seen before.
"I guess you don't have colors like this back at home?"
I shook my head. Though I was the princess of Themyscira, I was treated barely better than a slave. I reached down into the bags feeling the smooth silk-like fabric against my skin. Not quite as soft as Ultraman's bed but still more comfortable than the white dress I arrived in. Clutching one of the pieces of fabric, I pulled out a royal blue dress. My eyes grew wide.
"Only my mother was allowed to wear such colors," I said.
Suddenly I turned around and gave J'onzz a massive hug.
"... Thank you,"
J'onzz quickly pulled away from me. His smile faded.
"Have I offended you?"
J'onzz's eyes looked up to the sky above us.
"He's a very protective man," J'onzz answered. "Of those he cares about."
I spin around and sit back down on the bed. What J'onzz said made no sense. There was a hint of fear in the tone of his voice.
"I doubt he cares for me," I said as I stared down at the garment in my hands. "I tried to kill him…"
The bed dipped down as J'onzz sat down beside me.
"And he knows your actions weren't your own," J'onzz replied. "He understands that better than you could ever know…"
I felt him place his hand atop my own and give it a gentle pat. These men were nothing like my sisters told me they were. They were meant to be ruthless yet these men here were kind.
"I can't remain here," I said interrupting him.
"Nothing is stopping you from remaining here but you my child,"
There was a softness in his voice, a fatherly tone. He reached down and grabbed my hands. They shook. I had never been away from home before. No matter how bad it was, Themyscira was the only place I'd ever known. To remain here meant trusting these people not to harm me. A feat I wasn't ready to do. The hardships of home were familiar... safe...
"He'll protect you, you do know that," J'onzz added as he squeezed my hand.
I couldn't look J'onzz in the eyes. Guilt weighed my gaze down to the ground.
"Why,"
These people had no reason to aid me. Why would anyone show me kindness after what I had done?
"Because we have all been in the same place," he replied.
I finally pulled my gaze off my hands and looked at J'onzz. He was smiling at me.
"Every man and woman here was once forced to do the bidding of someone else," he continued. "We all found freedom here working with Ultraman. You can too… If you wish…"
Did I want freedom? Yes. But placing my trust in these people wasn't an option.
"J'onzz…"
He said as he patted my head.
"Not another word," he said. "I've already found a job for you."
I watched him stand to his feet leaving me alone on the bed.
"I can't work here," I said.
J'onzz shook his head.
"First thing in the morning, meet me down on the first floor," he replied.
"But..."
J'onzz walked clear out of the room before I could object to his suggestion. Collapsing down on the bed I stared up at the ceiling.
"What have I gotten myself into,"