Hello there!

Here's a new chapter! Enjoy ^^

Chapter 4 – Full Moon confession

Blitz felt anxious.

He didn't have any reason to, though. Right? Sure, they hadn't seen each other in months, let alone on a full moon, but hey, it was bond to be awkward now that they were back like usual! He was probably overreacting to every tiny detail because of that.

He still felt uneasy about the whole Striker incident that sent Stolas to the hospital, and how the prince has been acting strangely ever since their evening at Ozzie's, and Stolas definitely didn't act like usual tonight. Sure, they had watched movies here before, but it was different.

The memory of his discussion about Stolas with Fizz in the cage, when they were Crimson's hostages, and then that time on Mammon's stage, as Asmodeus revealed his love for the jester, kept coming back too, but he was trying to ignore them even harder than his other thoughts. There was no way Fizz was right, there was no way him and Stolas could be anything like the Sin and his childhood friend. But now, the idea was in the conscious part of his brain, nagging, and some part of him wanted to believe it was somewhat possible.

But there was another part, the "realistic" one, that told him to forget it. He may feel a bit less shitty about himself, but he still knew better than to expect Stolas, of all demons, to like him. His attitude clearly favored this option, he acted way more official and regal than he usually did when it was just the two of them. In fact, he didn't remember Stolas' body language when they were alone ever being any close to the one he showed tonight, and that was worrying him, despite the calm and smiling facade the prince was displaying. There was something wrong, he was sure of it. But what was it exactly, he couldn't tell, he only had hints here and there.

It was unusual for the Goetia to do his duties first thing during their full moon nights, but well, sometimes it happened, when he wanted it done so he could focus on their more pleasurable time together. Blitz knew he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy fucking the prince, but he'd rather not admit that out loud, let alone to the prince himself!

So, while he had nothing to do, he choose to get a look at the movies available in the room. It was better than replaying negative and worrying thoughts over and over anyway! Plus, Stolas' collection was definitely fascinating, and he was sure everything wasn't on display in the hidden shelf next to the screen.

That, they could totally watch together some day! That… Oh no, that was too nerdy for him, but that was exactly why it was here! And that… Was a movie that was probably here only because he had talked to Stolas about it. Still can't help but pretend to care about what I like, huh? He thought before he could help it, then he paused.

Why would the prince fake it? He didn't buy the movie to put it here and invite Blitz just so he could notice it, right? It would be a bit too complicated! But the imp was quite sure that movie wasn't there before, and everything was neatly filed by title, so there was little doubt about this.

There he was, pondering about stupid things again! The assassin sighed and got back to the couch. He knew he could switch on the TV to watch something, on the channels or from the collection, but he choose to scroll on his phone instead, that way he'd be less frustrated than if the owl was to come back in the middle of something interesting.

It worked so well that it felt like only a couple of minutes had passed since he started watching stupid stuff on his phone when the tall demon came back, already apologizing again.

"I hope I didn't make you wait for too long! You… You didn't turn the TV on?"

"Nah, no need, I don't want to start watching something if I got to stop before the end!" Blitz explained. "So, you good now? Can we get moving?"

"Hm, yes, well… As I was saying, I think we need to talk."

Blitz raised a brow, not really liking that start.

"About what?"

Stolas sit on the couch next to him, but as far as he could, and that alone set alarms in the red demon's head.

"I… It's a bit difficult to find the words, I'm sorry. I'll try to make it quick so as not to be annoying, but I… I wanted to ask, how do you feel about our arrangement?"

Blitz blinked.

"What?"

"You heard me. From how you reacted after Ozzie's, I can't help but think you don't like it, even if you brushed it off. It's not a criticism, don't take me wrong! But you had to do this for your company, and I didn't really realize it until recently, and I wanted to… Make amends. I don't want to endanger your business, of course, don't worry about that. Just tell me, truthfully… How do you feel about our current deal?"

The imp just stared in astonishment. He was expecting a lot of things, but… Not that. Or at least not like that.

"Wha… Wait, why do you even ask? I need your book, that's your price, end of the story!"

"No, that's my point! I… Need to apologize for this deal. It wasn't fair, on so many levels. But to make it better, I need to know what you think, what you want. So I'm not the only one to decide this time."

Blitz kept staring for a couple of seconds before sighing.

"Listen, Stolas… Even if I propose something, in the end if you don't like it, you're still the one to choose what this will be. You're the one with the power here, ok? So just… Tell me what you want to change."

It was the royal's turn to sigh, seemingly disappointed.

"Please, Blitz… I want to know how you feel about this. I don't want you to tell me what you think I want to hear. Just, be honest, please? Or else I'll just offer you something else, that you may equally dislike, and things won't change for the best."

"Ok, then let's start by something easier! What is it that YOU want? Why change our deal at all?! Why does it matter so much suddenly?" Blitz suddenly asked, tone a bit louder, as if angry, but with more annoyance and uncertainty than real hostility.

"What… I want? Well, I… At first everything was fine, but as time passed, I quickly felt like I wanted to know more about you, outside the bedroom as well. But you wouldn't really agree, probably feeling it was a bonus to the full moon nights I was already asking out of you. We did hang out a bit, but not often for various reasons, and I… I want something genuine between us, and that can't happen with this arrangement going on between us."

Blitz resumed his staring, expression guarded.

"Ok, so? What do you propose?"

"Well…"

Slowly, Stolas retrieved a box from his pockets and gave it to the imp, somehow managing to look decided yet uncertain at the same time.

"I was thinking of completely canceling our deal and replacing the grimoire with a gift, something that is solely yours to use as you wish. Therefore, if you still wish to spend time with me a way or another, you're free to do so, or choose to never see me again in your life, without having to worry about not being able to do your job. And I swear on my daughter what I won't take the crystal back whatever happens."

With that said, Stolas put the box in Blitz's hands. He accepted it more out of reflex that real will, gaping at the owl for a good ten seconds before his words caught up with him. Then, he lifted the lid, revealing the gem inside.

"That…"

"Is an Asmodean Crystal, yes."

Silence filled the room. Stolas' heart was beating hard in his chest, but he tried to keep a cool facade, so as not to stress Blitz out.

The imp just seemed lost in his mind. His eyes were unfocused, and he seemed lost. Which was… Well, probably kind of good? He didn't lash out yet, didn't leave, so hope was still permitted.

"So… No more full moon?"

"Well… It's not compulsory anymore. But it doesn't mean we can't do it. It doesn't have to be every full moon, it can be more or less frequent, you know, we can pick other nights. You don't need to answer right now, maybe you need time to think it over, but as I said, we can also see each other for other things than sex, like watching a movie, getting to know each other, sharing hobbies…"

Blitz snorted.

"So, instead of paying you for lending me the book, I get to repay you for the crystal?"

"What? No, no! That's the opposite of the point!" Stolas assured him with energy, yet remaining oddly still. "I told you, you can completely stop seeing me if that's what you want. If we are to continue seeing each other, I want it to be on a more healthy ground, you know?"

There was a pause, in case the red demon wanted to say something, but he seemed lost in his thoughts, so the owl slowly added, trying to keep the sadness away from his voice as to not be accused of trying to draw pity.

"You can walk out right now and never look back if that is what you want. I know you did everything out of obligation, and I completely understand if it wasn't pleasurable for you, and again I am sorry for that, but as I said, it doesn't have to be sexual… And… I…"

It was getting too hard to speak without letting his emotions show in his posture and tone, and it didn't even seem like Blitz was listening at all, so the Goetia slowly stopped talking, trying to regain his composure while the imp wasn't looking.

"You what?" Blitz finally asked, surprising the tall demon.

Stolas opened his mouth, then closed it. He tried again, but the words wouldn't come out. He felt like a fish out of water.

He desperately wanted to voice his feelings more clearly, because he felt Blitz needed it to fully understand what was going on, but he couldn't. He remembered how he had endangered the assassin earlier that day, because he was lost in his thoughts while at Stella's mercy, and suddenly he was feeling worthless of the imp's affection again. And it hurts, more than his mending wounds.

What right did he have to ask for this when he couldn't even keep him safe? When he couldn't even tell him what was going on? When he was unable to find a solution by himself?

"Stolas?"

Blitz had finally lifted his gaze to watch him, his expression a bit more guarded now that he also had the time to compose himself, and he seemed… Concerned, almost? By the owl's silence and expression.

No, that probably wasn't concern. Stolas just imagined what he wanted to see, like usual. Even if he was trying not to, but today's events were really hard on him, and he was desperate to find any light, any hope to cling to, but he shouldn't. He had done enough of that with the imp, but it was over. So he collected himself once more and smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Sorry. I… Is it clearer for you? Do you have more questions? Suggestions, maybe?"

He couldn't push the imp away, not after what he told him, and he couldn't bring himself to wipe out the small flame of hope that remained in his chest. That would give Stella way too much satisfaction. No, he shouldn't take her into account for this, it was Blitz's choice to make. He just had to do everything he could to protect the imp, no matter what happened.

Blitz pondered over everything for several minutes, and Stolas just waited patiently. He didn't want to put pressure on him while he was thinking things over again, but his heart felt like it wanted to get out of his chest, and even by simply sitting, it was almost as if he felt light headed, which convinced him even more not to move an inch.

"I… Don't know", finally came Blitz's answer.

Stolas stayed silent for a moment, trying to ease the squeezing feeling in his chest, on both his lungs and heart, and slowly let out a breath. He didn't expect a mixed outcome, but he wasn't going to complain.

"Ok… You need more time to think. It's fine. I'll be there when you are ready. Just… Please tell me your answer once you've decided, even if it's 'no'."

Blitz glanced up to watch the owl's face once more, still uncertain.

"If I had said yes, what would you have wanted to do tonight?"

Stolas tried to keep the overflowing joy he felt at the idea from showing too much on his features. It was just a question, a possibility, not an achievement yet.

"I was thinking of watching TV? If that's ok with you?"

The imp turned his head toward the screen and snorted.

"Why, because we're already here?"

"Well, yes. But, if you want to do something else, it's fine too! We can talk about, I don't know, your day, how are your daughter and employees…"

"Ha! No, everyone's fine, and today was like usual at work, that won't last long for a conversation, and I think I need to pause my brain for a bit before seriously thinking about your offer, okay? I'll take the movie."

It was so hard for Stolas not to let his excitement show on more than his face upon hearing that. He was healing fast, sure, but he still knew better than to hop up and down on the couch right now. But at least, he could smile widely, his white pupils even appearing briefly, because even if it wasn't a yes, it meant Blitz was ready to spend at least the start of the night with him, and if that wasn't a good start, well… At least it would be a nice farewell.

"Really?! Oh, well, then do you need something to eat or drink? You want to pick the movie?"

"Yeah, well, I've already noticed one I'd like to see, so I guess it's better to just watch it so we don't loose too much time on this? I'm not hungry nor thirsty right now, but I guess I could use some snacks and drinks during the movie…"

Stolas jumped on his talons without a second thought, and didn't even need to bother too much to conceal his pain as his excitement was overflowing everything else, like some teen from a human show on his first date.

"Then, you can prepare the movie, I'll get everything else!"

As Stolas left, some part of him tried to calm him down. Blitz may not like his enthusiasm, maybe even get scarred by it, but… He really couldn't help himself. The red demon didn't seem to mind his display of emotions just now.

Another thought crept up, whispering in a darker tone and showing an empty living room when Stolas would be back with the snacks and drinks, but the owl brushed it off.

Blitz would have simply left if he wished to. At least… He hoped so. What if he didn't dare to say it in front of him? But no, he was pretty straightforward when he needed to be…

On his side, the former clown didn't know what to make of what the hell just happened. Stolas had left for hopefully a few minutes, and he had no idea what he was doing, despite the time the Goetia had given him to think.

Why did he accept to stay in the first place?! He should have just left, go somewhere he could be alone, without the owl watching his every movement and expressions. But… He hadn't been able to. He was still wary of Stolas' proposition, but he couldn't quell the hope that had blossomed in his chest at his words. The royal's calm facade had unnerved him at first, but then Stolas' genuine and excessive enthusiasm had convinced him he did right. Maybe it was really worry he had seen in Stolas' eyes when he was lost in thoughts, like if he… Somewhat… Was really worried Blitz would just turn his back to him?

It was still too early to jump to conclusions, but since it was just a movie, it was fine, right? Just to try out things, and he could think about it later. He hadn't really said yes or no yet, and he'd just have to repeat that fact just in case Stolas had heard him wrong. Until then, well… Maybe he could try.

But already, the voices were back, whispering how everything could be a trap, a misunderstanding, a mistake. But they weren't as loud as before, less focused on telling him he was dangerous for his loved ones, not worthy of anything… But there was still the fear of hurt, of rejection.

Then he remembered one of his discussions with Fizz, the jester encouraging him to try things with the prince after finally getting Blitz to kind of admit his own feelings, assuring him that Stolas would probably return them even though he had barely interacted with him. If his best friend told him to try, then maybe it was worth it?

His pondering time was already up as Stolas was already returning with everything they could need to spend their night watching movies. It was a bit overkill, but Blitz had spotted at least two movies he'd like to watch, and there were probably more, along with the ones he already knew but would watch again with pleasure, so… It'd probably save them future trips to the kitchen!

The owl knew he shouldn't have taken so many things, not with his injuries, but with the help of magic to carry things, and his healing abilities that had already probably done part of the job along with the medicine and ointments, he wasn't so bad. He still needed to be careful, as he realized while he moved a bit too freely alone in the kitchen, but he should manage, maybe even be able to cuddle at some point if Blitz accepted it!

He was also really glad to see the imp was still here when he got back, and that they just had to press play to start the movie. That made him want to enjoy the night even more, and set aside everything else. Then, maybe, just maybe, everything would turn out fine.

Posted on 06/03/2024 (French date)

Chapter 5 is already written and I'm half-way throught the 6, so there shouldn't be a break anytime soon hopefully (except if I forget to post, which, well, already happened with other stories, but let's nope not!).

Until then, see you, and take care!