Chapter 12

***chapter contains rape***

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Fin, Nick and Amanda sat in their favorite diner just as the new day was breaking. None of them had the stomach to eat, but none of them could bear the thought of going back to their respective homes after their shifts had ended last night and so they hung out at the precinct, going over the dead-end leads they had, hoping for the millionth time that they would see something they'd missed before that would unlock everything. But when their eyes grew too tired and the words and pictures began to blur together, they called it a night.

Now as they sat in their booth over coffee, watching as the navy of the evening sky began to fade and brighten with beautiful pinks and gold on the horizon, they'd never felt collectively more hopeless than they did in that very moment.

"Less than three months and they give up!" Fin seethed disbelievingly

"Yeah well, we can't!" Nick reminded him "I know that we've officially had our hands tied but we can't let this go, I don't give a shit what the powers say!"

"Liv is out there and we're gonna find her man. We're family and we're gonna see this through, to hell with 1PP!" Fin agreed.

"I'm gonna pretend that I didn't hear any of that" Tucker said as her turned around from where he sat at the counter and made his way over to their booth

"Eyes and ears everywhere" Amanda chided, rolling her eyes.

"Hello to you too, Detective! Look, for what it's worth, I think the department was dead wrong for closing the investigation… I want you to know that I did everything I could to change their minds but all it got us was an extra two weeks and that clock stopped yesterday. I'm sorry."

"Thanks Lieutenant." Fin said in a downtrodden tone

"And I meant what I said…I didn't hear any of that conversation but I don't have to tell you what's at stake if 1PP finds out that you went against department orders…play it smart, detectives!" he warned then turned, dropped money on the counter and exited the diner. As he was walking out, Brian was coming in and the two men exchanged curt nods before Tucker continued on his way.

"I thought I'd find you guys here" Brian said as he took a seat in the booth beside Fin

"I guess none of us are sleepin much these days" Amanda said and pushed away her now tepid coffee "How you holdin up?" she asked Brian.

"About as well as all of you from the looks of it" he sighed "So listen, a few of the guys from vice and major case that I worked with back in the day, they wanna help"

"I got the same offer. Lotta people are just as pissed off as we are with 1pp!" Fin said "They're not willing to give up on Liv

"I got a whole lot to make right with her when we find her I just…so much I should have told her, so much…" he trailed off as his emotions got the best of him and he rubbed his chin as he hung his head "We gotta find her"

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"You stupid, stupid bitch!" was the first thing she heard when she began to stir, the sound of Harlan's voice but instead of the usual terror it instilled in her, this time she gave no reaction. There was no dread or fear, she gave a deliberate blink and looked him in the eyes; in hers he saw nothing but a blank, desolate stare, one that fully reflected her soul, she had nothing left inside. No emotion, no concern, no will to live; not even a will to protect herself from the maniacal beast that towered ominously above her. She had nothing; nothing but the tears that fell silently from her eyes.

Slowly she turned her head to the side and looked over at her wrist that was now bandaged and throbbing painfully, the intensity of which failed in comparison to the horror of what she felt between her legs and all over the rest of her body; she was literally bruised from head to toe and felt raw from the inside, out; it hurt just to breathe. She was sure that they'd bady bruised, maybe even fractured at least one of her ribs last night but she didn't have the strength to care. She may have failed at taking her own life but eventually, Harlan would and she prayed that it would come quickly.

"Wasn't enough to take one of my boys…you tried to kill em both!" he seethed as he got closer and backhanded her across the face, drawing blood from her nose. She didn't cry out, just looked at him with those same hollow eyes.

"Good thing I came back when I did and even better that the good old doc here ain't have a chance to get far" he continued, stepping aside so that Olivia could get unobstructed view of the portly man with the blotchy, oily skin and comb-over who stood with his medical bag in hand and a sinister smile on his face. Olivia's breath caught in her chest momentarily as last night quickly flashed through her mind.

"You remember old Doc, don't ya? He sure enjoyed you last night!" Harlan grinned. Doc wasn't an actual doctor, not anymore. He had been at one time but lost his license years ago for unethical practices but he still practiced illegally for the locals. Olivia was sickened when the greasy man gave a gingerly wave from where he stood, just before Harlan began speaking again, this time with a dead serious tone.

"But I'm afraid the fun ends for you darlin. See, you can't appreciate the sanctity of bein chosen to carry my precious seed you ungrateful cunt! You think you been through hell so far? You ain't even begun to feel sufferin little girl!" he promised in a low, menacing near-whisper as he wrapped his hand around her neck and began squeezing "I'm gon' spend these next few months makin you the most miserable bitch that ever lived! The shit that made you try to kill yourself… honey that's gon' look like a god damn picnic compared what I got in store for you!" he promised then gave a long, deliberate lick up the side of her face from her jaw to her temple, catching her tears on his tongue then smiled.

"Ain't that somethin? My tongue ain't been to a place on your body yet that ain't taste like goddamn sunshine!"

She quickly threw her head over the side of the bed and vomited all over the floor, the pain of sudden movement furthering her agony. She retched so violently that she nearly choked as her stomach to rid itself of its contents… contents that made her even sicker just thinking about the fact that they were there to begin with.

"Now now, we can't have junior makin you all sick on us" Harlan said as he helped her back down against the mattress, stroking her hair away from her sweaty face. "at least not until we pay Doc!" he grinned as the pudgy, oily man stepped forward and sat his medical bag down on the bed beside her, then began pulling down his rainbow suspenders and undoing his pants

"Don't worry" Doc said with a grin as he licked his cracked lips "it'll be fun" he cooed and took a seat on the bed beside her, causing his bag to fall over when the mattress shifted beneath his weight but he paid no mind and went straight to caressing the skin of her thigh with his calloused hand before moving it to her face. she began to tremble with the fear of knowing that after what she'd endured downstairs just hours ago, there was no way her body could take him and she looked at him with sad, tearful eyes and pleadingly shook her head 'no'. She was simply too weak to do much more between last night and then having lost so much blood before Harlan found her after she'd torn her wrist open.

"His reward for stitchin you up" Harlan said as he grabbed her arm, ready to put on the restraints.

"No, leave them off" Doc objected as he stared at Olivia with lustful eyes while undoing his necktie that was adorned with puppies.

"Suit yourself!" Harlan shrugged "I'll give you some privacy…unless you want me to watch…I'm kiddin, ya sonofabitch! " he chuckled before leaving the room. Olivia watched helplessly as the door closed.

"please…"she managed to get out in a weak, barely-there voice, looking directly at Doc as he divested himself of the remainder of his clothing and crawled his way on top of her but he wasn't interested in her begging, he had one thing in mind.

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Outside in the hall as Harlan made his way to the staircase, he was stopped in his tracks as a pain-filled sobs came from the bedroom and cut through the air, but Harlan didn't feel pity, he only smiled big and wide, the sounds of her agony in her broken voice being music to his ears.

"Fuck her good, Doc!" he yelled before he continued his way downstairs and began singing the lyrics to his favorite song.

"In the mornin, in the evenin, ain't we got fun?..."

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A bit later, Doc came down the stairs, his bag in hand and a huge smile on his face.

"Ain't you a happy bastard! You lock the door?" Harlan asked

"Yep and damn right I'm happy…my god even after spendin the night takin it like a pornstar, those are still prime fuckholes my friend!"

"I know how to pick em!" Harlan gloated.

"I wish you'd told me sooner she was knocked up. I know some guys, myself included who are really into that and they'll pay big for the pleasure! You interested?"

"Now when you say "pay big"…" Harlan was intrigued

"Three times what you charge now… once her belly's good and swole of course!"

"Of course. Come on, breakfast is on me!" Harlan offered

"You ain't gone get a piece of that first?" Doc asked

"It's mine, I can have it any time but right now, I got shit to do!" he said, opening the door just as a young woman approached, "Oh, hey darlin, glad you're here!" he greeted the young woman who came inside the house. "had a bit of a mishap this mornin, blood and puke everywhere"

"Miss Bronwyn" Doc greeted.

Months ago after the trial, Harlan had made it his business to find Bronwyn after learning how loyal she'd been to Billy. She'd agreed to keep the truth about who Harlan really was and immediately after Lewis' death, she became Mrs. Lucius Holmes – the name he'd assumed after faking his death in 1993 to avoid a conviction for rape and Murder in Kentucky. Bronwyn went on about her life in New York City and Came here to visit when she could so as not to draw suspicion until the time came for them to leave once the baby came.

"Hello Doc." She said as Doc told Harlan he'd wait outside and left house. Bronwyn shut the door before she turned to Harlan "I'll clean it right away dear" she replied as she put her bag down and wrapped her arms around Harlan. "But little William is okay?"

"Junior's fine…no thanks to his whore mother, but fine nonetheless!"

"That woman hates the Lewis name and all that it stands for! If it weren't for her, I'd still have him!" she cried, so full of emotion that she had to remove her glasses to wipe her eyes (of tears that weren't there) before tossing her thick, curly red hair in a bid to compose herself

"Well darlin now ya got me!" he grinned

"And I thank my lucky stars every day that you're my husband." She gushed "William would have wanted it this way!"

"Yeah well… you get that mess cleaned up and hands off the whore, she's weaker than a god damn kitten right now and we don't wanna push our luck!"

"Of course dear, little William comes first." She smiled in a Stepford-ish manner before heading toward the kitchen but then stopping and turning around. "And might I say, Sir, that I'm so completely honored that you've chosen me to be William's mother? the only thing that could have made me more proud is if you'd chosen me to carry him as well. But I understand; that bitch took him away, she has to be the one to give him back." she said with an eerie smile before retreating to the kitchen to collect cleaning supplies.

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Upstairs, as her eyes grew heavy with sleep pulling her into its merciful embrace, Olivia couldn't help replaying the voice she heard calling to her as she lay on the floor hours ago, attempting to bring about her own death; the same voice she'd continued hearing even after falling unconscious, Elliot's voice. It had given her comfort even in her darkest moment when she'd wanted nothing more than to slip away but at the same time, there was terrible sadness at knowing that he was gone, that they were gone, that everything they had like everything she'd ever had, had become nothing more than painful memories. It was the reason that she hadn't tried to save herself after what she'd done, to what end? Even feeling that sliver of comfort as she lay bleeding out, if she'd tried going back it would serve her no purpose in life. The voice that had been a figment of her imagination near death would never again offer her that comfort in life. He would never again tell her that things would be alright with such conviction that she'd believe it with her soul! She'd never again feel his arms hold her close and make her feel the peace that only he could, so why live?

"You don't want to die" Beach house said quietly from where she lay beside her current self, her burned and cut arms wrapped loving around her bruised, naked body.

"Why do you keep coming back?" Current Olivia asked her past self, tears still flowing freely from her eyes.

"Because, I know that we have fight left" she whispered

"Just let me go"

"I would if I thought it was what you really want" Beach house said in a sad whisper

"If what I did wasn't enough to convince you..."

"I'm more concerned with what you did now" Beach house said with a smirk that current Olivia couldn't see. "I believe that in spite of what you felt last night, you know that you have to live, that you have to survive, not just for yourself but for this baby...you have to fight for him!" She told current Olivia, as she put her hand to her stomach. Olivia was quickly fading to the sleep she so craved to escape the hell she'd just gone through.

"You did what you just did because you know that you have to live, that you have to protect this little one" Beach house continued in that same sweet whisper. "Sleep now...forget everything and sleep. And when you're stronger, we'll do what needs to be done!" She said directly into the ear of her current self.

"Stay with me" current Olivia pled with her past self as she closed her eyes.

"Don't worry, we're here" Sealview promised her as she appeared, grinning fiendishly at Beach house. The tide was turning. "And when you wake up...we'll be right here" she whispered melodically. And Olivia drifted off; her hand beneath the pillow, curled around her prize. Unbeknownst to either Harlan or Doc, while the latter lay on top of her grunting like a sweaty pig as he violated her, his overturned bag revealed a glimpse of an old scalpel to Olivia and she quickly reached inside, allowing her slender fingers to grab hold of it and slide it beneath the pillow all without Doc ever taking notice. She'd intended to slice into the filthy bastard while she lay beneath him in agony but realized that she was too weak to fend off Harlan even if she could kill Doc in his vulnerable position and she gave up but held onto the weapon in spite of her hopelessness. But now, she knew exactly what needed to be done; the cold rusty steel that lay in her grasp would be her ticket out of this nightmare and this time, unlike her terrified attempt with the hanger, she wouldn't miss!

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Gonna be some stuff comin up in 13!