Chapter 62 and not much to say, we pick up where we left off so let's go.
.
At the courthouse, Carolyn sat out in the hall instead of going out to lunch with everyone else. She was nervous about what the judge would decide and rightfully so; she had done a great job with defending Olivia to the court but Joanie's lawyer had done an equally good job of painting her out to be a crazy rape victim who couldn't hold herself together, much less her child. It was a wonder that Olivia didn't break on the stand seeing as how fragile she's been lately but there she was, she got through his examination and only shed a few tears but she didn't break! Max Pooley however was vicious; he didn't care that he had a new mother on the stand, one who had been repeatedly raped and traumatized; his only motive was to win for Joanie and by the time he was done putting Joanie on the stand, along with his other witnesses and then cross examining Olivia, he had Joanie looking like Mother Theresa! And as good a job as Carolyn had done to make Olivia look good, still, she was worried.
She looked at her watch, checking the time yet again. The longer the time that Judge Moore took, the better it would be and so she was thankful for it but nervous and she wondered if he'd call them back to say that he needed more time and dismiss them for today. She looked back at the courtroom and she felt the weight of the world on her shoulders! She'd felt custody cases before, they all mattered greatly to her but there was something about this one that made it matter on a different level. She never, in the years that she's been doing family law, had a rape victim for a mother, and never one who'd been through it so horribly as Olivia. She wanted to win this case, not because of her record of wins or the big payday, but Olivia needed this, she wasn't a questionable parent like Carolyn had represented in the past; this was a mother who loved her child. It was obvious before Olivia even knew that Brian was her father, when she believed that that beautiful baby had come from the worst experience of her life, she loved her still and Carolyn was determined that Serena would stay put and she'd hoped that the judge agreed with her.
God, I should've listened to my mama and become a wife! She thought about her older sister, she'd gotten married at 17, straight out of high school and with a baby on the way and she and her husband were happy, 4 kids and all these years later. But then the hundreds of families she'd helped came to mind and she knew she made the right choice in listening to her father. Be a career woman! He'd say. Being a wife and mother is fine, but you, mija, you were made for something more! But still, 2 older brothers who were doctors, 1 that was a CEO to a very successful company and a baby brother who was on his way to graduating Princeton law school, top of his class, she had to wonder if her father wasn't just edging her on because he wanted yet another brown skinned Cuban child that he could brag about.
She laughed to herself and checked the time again before she took out her iPad and turned it on to begin looking at her schedule for the next week that her secretary had sent her when Joanie came up in the elevator and made her way over to her with her lawyer.
"Hello dear."
Carolyn was taken aback by Joanie suddenly speaking to her and looked around to see who else Joanie could be addressing. When she realized that she was the only other person in the hall besides Joanie's lawyer…
"You're talking to me; I'm sorry."
"It's quite alright dear." She said then sat down beside her. "I just wanted to let you know, no hard feelings." Joanie offered.
"Hard feelings?" Carolyn was confused.
"The case dear…"
"I'm sorry, why would you need to-"
"Well, I happen to know that my lawyer did an outstanding job in there and as good as you were, well I hope you're prepared to hear that you lost and I just wanted to let you know, Olivia may be angry when that happens, but I don't have any feelings of animosity or vexation." Carolyn, at a loss for words, simply looked at her for a moment.
"Good to know. Excuse me!" She said and was suddenly happy to see Nick, who had just come off the elevator and she quickly made her way over to him. "That woman is nuts, pretend that we're talking!"
"Okay, what are we talking about?" Nick laughed as he took her bag and they walked.
"We could start with how you stood me up the other night and why." She said quietly.
"I didn't actually. If you had let me explain, I would've told you that I had just walked in the door after two days at work when you called me and that as soon as I lay down, I was out."
"Out, huh?"
"Yes, out. Why is that so hard for you to believe?" He asked with a grin on his face.
"I don't know, probably because you're smiling when you say it."
"I'm sorry, though you gotta admit, it was hella funny!"
"Really? And just what part was "hella funny" to you?"
"Maybe not hella funny."
"Maybe not funny at all, do you have any idea how horny I was when I came over?"
"It's your own fault."
"My fault?"
"Carolyn, I'm not your man; I'm not your boyfriend or significant other, hell, we're not even dating and you expect me to put it down whenever you say go. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong because I slept with you when we were broken up and I shouldn't have done that, even if it was just to rile you up."
She was about to respond when her phone rang. "Gimme a second." She said and answered the phone. "Carolyn Jeris."
Lunchtime and they sat in a restaurant, all six of them, and Serena, who was in Don's arms.
Why did I agree to come here? Olivia thought to herself. I should be at the courthouse with Carolyn.
"Hey, babe, you alright?" Elliot whispered to her as they sat close at the long table. "You've barely touched your food!"
"I'm not hungry."
"Liv"
"Elliot, I appreciate the concern, but drop it, please." She said as she looked at her phone again to check the time and got nervous all over again.
"I am so sorry!" Barba said as he came rushing in the restaurant. "I had a court case early this morning and then a meeting with defense, they wanted a deal; but I'm here; everyone!" He greeted the rest of them as he pulled up a chair and sat down near Olivia.
"It's okay, you're here." She said looking over at Serena in Don's arms, wishing that she were in her arms. She needed the comfort of her daughter as she looked longingly at Don; he absolutely fawned over Serena; smiling at the little girl, then back at Olivia.
"I know I say this every time but she really is the most perfect baby." He said. "Aren't you, precious?"
"It would be perfect if you didn't hog her, man!" Munch said.
"It's not everyday that I get to see my granddaughter, no I don't! Amanda, I hope you're ready for this!" Cragen said with a smile on his face for Serena.
"I'm ready if Liv'll have it for me!" She said and they all laughed but Olivia just sat there, in her head, a plate full of food that she hadn't touched and not hearing any of the banter that had been going on around her.
"Yes, I admit, I have issues stemming from the rapes but they don't affect my daughter and I'm getting help for them; your honor, I love Serena and I'm a good mother…"
"Liv?" Amanda called.
"...what?" She answered absently, coming out of her blur with everyone staring at her.
"I was just saying…" She didn't get to finish as Olivia's phone buzzed and she picked it up immediately. "Yes, hello?" She said as she got up from the table, her hand to her ear and walked to a quieter spot, leaving Amanda sitting there and she turned to the group and forced an uncomfortable smile.
"Is she gonna be alright?" Barba asked Elliot.
"I wanna say yes, but honestly, until this is over I don't think so." They sat talking then Olivia suddenly returned, looking like she'd seen a ghost.
"Liv, baby girl, you alright? Fin asked.
"The judge; he has a verdict! I think I'm gonna be sick!"
"Liv, take a minute!" Munch said. "You'll be okay.
"He's right, Baby, just breathe." Elliot said as he reached for her but she ran to the bathroom with her hand over her mouth and Elliot started to go after her.
"-I'll see about her." Amanda said, putting her hand on his shoulder to let him know she had it and that it was alright before she got up.
"Where is she?" Joanie asked her attorney as she looked at her watch. "So help me, if she's taken my granddaughter-"
"Joanie, calm down. The judge gave everyone an hour to be back here, it's only been 37 minutes. I'm sure she's on her way." Max said. Joanie took a deep breath and turned around in a circle, trying to assuage her apprehension. What if she took off with Serena?
...
Across the hall, Cragen, Fin, Nick, Elliot and Munch stood talking to one another while Amanda was outside on her phone, and Carolyn was talking to Barba.
"It's gettin close." Fin said, in regards to the time as he looked at his watch. "...maybe we shouldn't have left Liv alone."
"She's not alone; she's with Serena." Munch said.
"I don't know, I agree with Fin" Don expressed. "I just wish we could do something to cheer her up."
"The only thing that's gonna cheer her up is that judge coming back and saying that she gets to keep Serena…" Elliot said hopefully while Nick just stood there, absorbing the conversation.
...
"One lawyer to another, do you think she'll win?" Barba asked Carolyn who looked at him as if she didn't know.
"I wanna say yes…" She said but not really knowing. Suddenly, Joanie made her way over.
"I'm gonna go." Barba said and walked off before Carolyn could say a word..
"Where is she?" Joanie demanded.
"She?" Carolyn uttered, not giving Joanie much attention.
"You know good and well who I'm talking about, where is she?" But rather than respond, Carolyn simply looked at the woman for a few seconds before walking off to talk to Nick.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, Nick, can I talk to you?"
"Excuse me guys." He apologized before he walked away with her. "Everything okay?" He asked her when they were safely off to the side.
"Yeah, I just need someone to talk to so I don't strangle Mrs. Cassidy!" She said, looking over at Joanie who in turn got extremely nervous.
...
"She's done it!" Joanie said to Max.
"Done what? Who?" Max said, looking up from his phone.
"Are you listening? Olivia; she's taken the baby and run off! I know it! She couldn't take knowing that the judge is going to rule against her and she's taken my granddaughter and-"
"Okay, we just went through this, Joanie…"
...
"That oughta make her nervous." Carolyn said with a grin as she and Nick turned a corner, Nick, who was obviously amused, still felt the need to chasten Carolyn.
"You're not helping matters. And have you ever thought, seriously about what happens if god forbid, Olivia loses?"
"Are you serious?" She said as she twisted his nipple, suddenly very upset with him. As he struggled to get her to loosen her grip, he dipped slightly, in great pain and fought so he didn't yell.
"Are you insane?!" He shrieked, though low as he got loose and rubbed his nipple through his shirt.
"Are you insane? How could you say such a thing?!"
"I'm just trying to put things in perspective; I know she's not going to lose!" He said, still rubbing his chest.
"Well don't say things like that; I'm already nervous."
"You're nervous? You're the best family attorney in this city."
"It doesn't mean that I don't let cases get to me...this one did."
"Carolyn, you've defended this the best you could, no one could have done any better and no one will blame you if…"
"But I'll blame me… Look, don't say it okay? Let's just pretend that we're in a place where everything is fine!"
"Fine, but we don't have to pretend, I'm telling you; everything's gonna be fine!"
"Okay, you've either bribed a judge or you have the faith of a fool!" Nick looked at her with a laugh, and drew her into his arms, she surprising herself by letting him hold her.
In the break room, Olivia sat nursing Serena and knowing that it might be the last time. As she sat stroking Serena's hair, watching her intently as she hummed a tear-laced lullaby. After a while, Serena stopped drinking and Olivia just sat there for a moment before she took her off the breast, never stopping her stare.
Serena looked back at her mother, seeing her tears but not understanding what they meant and she decided to smile; once Olivia saw that, she wiped her eyes and returned the gesture though all she wanted to do was weep.
"I suppose it's time to go out there, huh?" She felt tears running down her face again and quickly wiped them. "No matter what the judge says, I will never stop fighting for you, not ever!" She said as Carolyn walked in and saw her condition, saying to her quietly...
"Olivia; honey it's time to go." She didn't bother turning to face Carolyn way, she simply nodded as she looked at Serena, getting up slowly as she cradled her in her arms and gently rocked her soothing her to sleep as Carolyn stood watching, the whole scene getting to her as tears laced her eyes. Serena was fast asleep within seconds and Olivia stood watching her for a moment before she looked up at Carolyn and said quietly.
"Okay."
A few minutes later, Olivia and Carolyn came into the courtroom, and Joanie turned to look at her, surprised to see Serena in Olivia's arms and though she was covered by her blankets, she saw a peek of her little hand when Olivia kissed her and handed her off to Elliot. She lingered for a moment, and then handed Elliot the pacifier. She kissed Serena again before Elliot took her hand, squeezing with assurance as he quickly kissed her lips, sending Olivia to take her seat with Carolyn up front as she dried her eyes before the tears could get out.
Carolyn took her hand, whispering to her. "You can do this!"
Over at Joanie's table, she sat still staring at Serena, wanting to see more of her but taking comfort in the fact that any moment now, the judge would grant her custody and she would have the baby to herself, finally and she turned to face forward with a smile on her face.
"All rise!" The bailiff said. Once again the people in the courtroom stood up as the judge entered and the bailiff carried on. "Manhattan family court is in session, Judge Preston A. Moore, residing."
"Be seated." The judge ordered after he sat down. "After consideration, and I admit that it didn't take much, but it was not considered lightly. Still, I've come to ruling and I would appreciate silence until it is finished. Mrs. Cassidy, it is evident that you had your granddaughter's best interests at heart when you filed this suit and I applaud you." Joanie smiled even broader as Olivia prayed to a god she didn't actually believe in with such an intensity as she felt her tears and this time, she couldn't stop them and they escaped but she quickly wiped them.
"...there should be more grandparents who strive to step forward when a child is in a situation that is dangerous…" Olivia was shocked now, looking back at Elliot and crew with disbelief plastered on her face as everyone was outraged. "...but I don't see that in this case." Olivia immediately turned around and looked at Carolyn. "From my social worker and from Sergeant Benson's own testimony, it is easy to see that although she struggles with what she has unfortunately been through, the child is in a home where she is loved and cared for and I can see no good reason to upset the world of a three week old baby unnecessarily and it is my ruling that she remains with her mother. Sergeant Benson, good luck!" And he banged his gavel and left the courtroom.
"No… Noooo!" Joanie cried but Olivia was crying for a different reason as she embraced Carolyn then immediately got her baby from Elliot's arms and hugged him like she didn't want to let either of them go as she held Serena and cried and Elliot held them tightly.
Later outside the courtroom, they were saying their goodbyes as Munch was busy holding Serena.
"Liv, I have to get to court but I'll call you later." Rafael said and kissed her. "Congratulations and I'll call you! Don, it was nice seeing you again." He said and walked out.
"How about next weekend, we come by, I'll cook dinner?" Don said
"I would definitely like that." She said as she hugged him, getting a little emotional. "Thank you!"
"For what?"
"For being here. You don't know how much I appreciated it!" She said, wiping her eyes.
"That's what fathers do!" He kissed her on the cheek and looked at her. "You've been so strong through all of this, and I don't mean just the custody suit but you've fought hard and I'm proud of you." She smiled through her tears and hugged him again.
"I've got so much to teach you. For instance, did you know that your father's middle names were John Fitzgerald, who was probably the greatest man that ever lived? Full name was Kennedy…" Munch told Serena who stared at him as if he were the most interesting man on earth.
"John, she's too young for conspiracy theories." Elliot grinned
"Never too young to be brainwashed according to Munch!" Fin said and he and Elliot laughed.
"This from the man who believes in the 1 shooter theory; look at her eyes, she gets me. Don't you Serena?"
"I'll take your word for it." Elliot laughed.
"Are you brainwashing my child, John?" Olivia said as she came over.
"Only the kid understands!" He laughed as he handed her off to Elliot and hugged Olivia. "You did good!" He said and she smiled.
"And on that note, it's time for us to get out of here." Don said and he and Munch left.
"Later cap. I better get goin too, Baby girl, later El." Fin said and left. When they were gone, Elliot turned to Olivia.
"We should have a party."
"What?"
"Yeah, we never got to have a welcome home for you guys with all that was going on. I figure now that it's all over…"
"I'll think about it. But for now, I can't wait to get to home and cuddle up with you two." She said as Elliot put his arms around her waist and took the opportunity to kiss her."
"Ready to go?"
"I am unbelievably ready to get out of here!" She said and kissed him again then looked at Serena in his arms. "We're goin home, little one; for good!" She kissed Serena then took her and secured her in her carriage. "Let's go!"
As they were walking out, Olivia pushing the stroller, Joanie made her way over.
"Olivia…" She called as she approached, so full of contempt but realizing that now, she had to play by Olivia's rules. Olivia checked Serena, thoroughly pissed and had to tell herself that it was over now as she looked at her little girl.
"Elliot, would you bring the car around?" She said as she stood, then turned to Joanie as Elliot left. "What do you want?"
"I was thinking" She said as she stared at the closed carriage longingly. "So much has happened these last few months that had us both running a bit high."
"Actually, you were the one running high but…"
"Olivia, we don't have to place blame. I said some things, you said some things…"
"You know what Joanie? Let me do you a favor and save your breath for you. You just put me through hell and now that you lost, you expect me to let you in." She said quietly and opened the stroller. "Take a good look, because this is the last time you'll see her!"
Joanie stood there shocked, looking at Serena, so small, so perfect. Joanie was driven to tears! She had Brian's nose and his eyes and when she saw Joanie, she smiled at her and in that moment, she broke, wanting so much to hold her. "Olivia, please-"
"Go to hell!" She said , turning to walk away and leaving Joanie standing there, suddenly realizing the weight of her actions. That child was her only connection to Brian and she had ruined it! She was truly alone now and had nobody to blame but herself.
"See, I told you!" Nick said to Carolyn as they walked out of the courthouse.
"I guess you did, huh?"
"Oh, you only guess?"
"What would you have me say?" She asked him, laughing as they stood face to face, the snow starting to come down. Nick stood there, staring into her brown eyes as she stared up at him, the wind whipping fiercely, blowing her hair around her face.
"You could say that you wanna give us another chance."
"Nick-"
"Carolyn, I'm crazy about you. And you can try to hide it, but I think you feel the same about me." He said as he moved a lock of her hair out of her face.
"Says who?"
"Says the woman who can't cum anymore if I'm not there assisting her!" He laughed.
"You ass!" She said as she hit his chest.
"What is it with you and this abuse?" He asked. Her answer was a kiss on his lips.
"I was wrong to give up on you so easily! I- Nick, I think I'm falling in love with you...or the amazing sex."
"Haha!" He said then got serious. "I think I'm falling for you too!"
"So what now?"
"This!" He said before he grabbed her with both hands on her neck and held her gently while he kissed her, a deep, sensual, long, lingering kiss to her lips. That when he finally let her go, she stood dazed, her eyes closed while she tried to get her senses back.
Over at Darrell's lawyers office, the secretary walked over to Amanda who was seated on the small waiting area.
"Mrs. Collins? Mr. Jackson will see you now." The beautiful black Secretary with the almond shaped eyes and thick, natural hair said as she walked Amanda to his office and let her in the door.
"Thank you." She said as she stepped into the enormous, modern decorated office and Aisha shut the door.
"Mrs. Collins; I'm so sorry to hear about Darrell." He said as he kissed her cheek.
"Thank you, Mr. Jackson. And please, call me Amanda."
"Amanda; Darrell was like family to me, it's so tragic what happened. Please…" He motioned for her to sit. "Can I get you anything? Coffee? Tea?"
"No." She said quietly with a hand to her stomach, as she sat in one of the chairs at his large wooden desk and feeling queasy.
"Right, I suppose you'd like to know what this is about. Why don't we get right to it!" He said as took a seat behind his desk and set a portfolio aside as he took papers from another folder and placed them in front of him. "Darrell wanted to make sure that, in the event of his death that his widow would be well taken care of."
She felt her eyes getting watery and she wiped them as she apologized. "I'm sorry...it's still so new!" Mr. Jackson handed her tissues.
"It's okay. Do you need a minute?"
"No, thank you. I'm fine." She said as she wiped her tears.
"Good. Let's carry on, shall we?" He smiled and Amanda nodded as she continued to wipe her eyes.
Later at Nick's place…
"Oh my god… Oh my God… OHHHHH MYYY GODDD PAPI!" She screamed as her back arched beneath him and she came so hard that she saw stars! He kept on, fucking her through another orgasm before the first one even subsided and after two more of these, she couldn't take him anymore and pushed him out, spasming and still cumming as he sat up and laughed.
Suffice it to say, she was absolutely satisfied!
That night at Elliot and Olivia's home, lying in bed together with a sleeping Serena who was lying across Olivia's chest.
"I still can't believe that I walked out of that courtroom with my baby!" She whispered and kissed Serena's head while she held her little hand and Elliot in turn kissed Olivia's nose, then her forehead and held her close.
"You convinced yet?"
"Of what?"
"That your luck is changing."
"I don't know about that, but I do know one thing."
"What's that?"
"That for the first time, probably in my life, I'm happy!" She said. "I know that I have a lot of healing to do still, but now I have Serena to live for; and I have you! You came back to me and you loved me through those times when I wasn't sure of anything and all I could see was darkness… I love you Elliot; I love you so much!"
"I love you too; and now that we're over this mess with the court…" He took his arm from behind her and got up from the bed.
"What are you-"
"I wanna do this right this time." He said as he took something out of his nightstand drawer and walked around to her side of the bed.
"Do what right?"
"You are the only person I've ever done this for." He said as he got down on one knee.
"Elliot…" She gasped as she secured Serena's back and sat up as he pulled out the ring box and opened it as she held the sleeping baby to her chest and tears came to her eyes and he smiled and took her hand.
"Olivia Benson, there is nobody else in the world who I love they way I love you; who I love more than I love you." He said as she hung her head and cried. "We came back to each other and I never wanna let you go again. I wanna spend the rest of my life being the man you can be proud of, being a father to this beautiful little girl and being your husband and I hope with my whole heart that you'll say yes so, will you make me the happiest, proudest man alive, and marry me?"
See you guys soon.