Chapter 70

She was in love! Totally, honestly, completely in love. She looked down at her daughter lying beside, her beautiful, newborn daughter and she silently wept. She'd never been so enamored as she was at this moment. And as she stroked the baby girl's hand, she was overcome with emotion.

She'd been alone with her angel for three whole days, and she savored every minute of that time. She'd come early, three weeks by Olivia's count, but she was okay. After several long hours of labor in which she fought like hell to be quiet, she pulled herself into the empty bathtub when she felt the baby coming down. While preparing to give birth, she just prayed that she and the baby would come through this.

Her mom was there. And though she knew in her head that she was just imagining her like she usually did, just thinking of her mother gave her comfort as she strained through the agony of another contraction and let out a long, pained cry. She was getting weaker with every hour and she couldn't think of anything else except the contractions.

"Breathe Olivia!" Serena said as she held her hand. Olivia tried to calm herself and get through it but she couldn't see or think straight.

"You've got this Olivia, focus!" Beachhouse said. She kneeled in front of the bathtub while Sealview wiped her brow.

"Please God, I don't wanna do this here..." She whispered as she cried.

"Olivia, you have to-" Serena started as she stroked her face, moving her hair back but Olivia just groaned in pain, cutting her off.

"No, it's...it's coming out!"

"...and I can see the head!" Beach house smiled.

"I can't do this!"

"You can, you're strong, Olivia and we've got you. Do you hear me? Now come on, have to push!" Sealview said urgently as Olivia slowly turned to get into a squatting position as her mother held her.

"Now sweetheart, come on, you can do it!" She said as Olivia gave an earsplitting cry while she pushed with everything she had,

"That's it, Olivia, you're doing so good!" Sealview cried.

"Oh god, it hurts!"

"I know darling, but you can do this, do you hear Me? Now you push, Olivia!" Her mother said to her while she squatted in the bathtub and focused on delivering her baby.

"Oh Goddd, ohhhhh godddddddd!" She cried. "please help me!" She screamed and begged everyone around her as she struggled to push the baby out but the head was so big. If she could have crushed the cast iron and porcelain of the old tub, she would have, she was gripping it so violently.

"Livvie, the head is right here, push harder… PUSH OLIVIA!"

"I'm trying, I swear!" She cried weakly. She was too exhausted, too frail, and no matter how bad it hurt, and no matter how much she cried out at the pain, or how badly she wanted for it to be over, she couldn't get the baby to come. Maybe this was for the best, she thought. She couldn't keep the baby, boy, or girl no matter how bad she wanted it. Harlan had already made plans for it. But still, she wanted this baby more than she wanted her freedom! She'd grown to love this baby over the months, so much and although she knew that she couldn't keep it, she wished. Every day she'd talk to it; she'd sit in the corner and tell him or her how much she loved them, reminding herself and the child that they wouldn't be together for much longer but that the world was still a good place. She'd tell it all the hopes and dreams she had for it in spite of how she got pregnant. Maybe if the tables had been turned and she had gotten out of here, she could have had an abortion; even grown to hate this baby but life had other plans. Now she couldn't imagine life without it even though either way... But she had to believe that either way this swung, he or she would be okay. Even if she wasn't around to see it.

She pushed again as hard as she could but she was so tired. And when she leaned around and called for her mother, there was suddenly nobody there. "Mom?" She called out in her delirium. "Mother...? Oh god don't leave me again... Mom!" She was sobbing at this point, utterly exhausted from the labor and needing her mother's and her past selves to comfort even if she had only imagined it. Suddenly, she felt a pain worse than the others and she screamed for dear life!

Praying for it to be over, she grabbed the edge of the tub, holding it as she shook, and she pushed through a blood-curdling scream as the baby slid out head first onto the gowns that she'd placed under herself. Her daughter began wailing the moment she came out of her, and Olivia sobbed uncontrollably, amazed at what she'd just done. She reached down, and quickly, with trembling arms, she gently picked her up and held her baby girl. In the midst of all the turmoil she was experiencing, she suddenly had this perfect child in her arms, and through her tears, she was transfixed reassuring her daughter that it would be okay while not knowing if Harlan would burst in at any moment.

Now, three days later, she lay with her baby girl early in the morning. Serena. She'd named her after her mother. She didn't have diapers or furniture, or clothes for Serena; having to tear her nightgowns to make diapers and blankets, and in spite of what she knew would be coming, she felt pure joy for every moment she got to spend with her, even if she knew that it wouldn't last. Harlan would be home any time now and then there would be hell to pay. But she wouldn't think about that. Right now, she just wanted to immerse herself in Serena. Her little body; her hands and tiny feet that were attached to her little arms and legs… her smell that was pure heaven- she marveled at every inch of her.

"I won't let him take you away; I can't." She said, smiling as she watched her daughter feeding, thankful that at least her milk hadn't failed her and was now coming in plenty after 3 days. She was so enamored, that by the time she heard the door being unlocked and sat up in bed with Serena, Harlan was already in the room.

"Is it a boy?" He said coming closer, a smile on his face causing Olivia to tremor with the baby at her breast. "...speak up!"

Olivia looked down at her baby and caressed her head

"IS IT A BOY?!" He screamed as she jumped, feeling absolute fear at this moment.

She could lie. She could say yes, tell him it's a boy but that wouldn't last long. He'd know and when he discovered… scared, she looked up at him, those rears that were falling now coming for a different reason. She was terrified.

"She's-"

"She? So it's a girl?" He laughed. "A God damned girl?" His face twisted into a scowl of anger. "...give it to me!" He said, his arms outstretched. But Olivia knew that she couldn't. She knew that the moment he had her child in his arms that she'd never see her again. "I said," he came closer. "...give it. To me."

"She's not an 'it'!" She whispered, too afraid to make her voice go any higher than the nervous murmur that managed to escape. Harlan was furious.

"I want that lil bastard!"

No…" she said holding the baby a bit tighter as tears dropped from her eyes. She was still so weak from birth, she could hardly stand up but she was prepared to fight. She didn't care what he did to her, she wouldn't let her baby go without a fight!

"You really wanna do this bitch?" He said as he strode across the room. "I said, give it to me!" He screamed and grabbed the baby.

"SERENA!" She screamed as she startled awake shaking, and crying.

Elliot jumped awake and turned on his lamp. "Liv, baby, what's wrong?!" He called as he reached out to touch her back but she flinched looking wildly around the room. She had Fin in her arms, cradling and rocking him in her arms as she kissed his head while the baby slept.

"Liv?" She didn't hear him. Instead, she just continued to hold her son very tightly to her.

Elliot saw fear and confusion in her eyes and was concerned for how snugly she was holding Fin. "Liv, why don't you put him down?" He didn't want to scare her, but she was inadvertently smothering Fin.

"What?" She said, disoriented as she looked down to see Fin lying there in her arms, his little face pressed against her. She didn't remember how he'd gotten there and she immediately loosened her hold, placing the child in his father's arms. Elliot checked that Fin was alright before he kissed him, rocking him for a moment while the baby thankfully continued to sleep as Elliot put him back in his cradle.

"It's just a dream," she said, trying to convince herself as she trembled. "I'm fine…" She wiped her tears as she looked to the bassinet at their bedside. She was confused.

"This isn't Serena…" she whispered as everything started to become clearer and she looked over at Serena sleeping soundly beside her.

"Liv-"

"I feel like I'm losing my mind!" She cried.

"You're not, baby." He said in a soothing voice as he drew her into his arms and wiped the tears that were still rolling down her cheeks. "It's just a bad dream."

Feeling helpless, she threw herself into his arms. "Tell me this is real!" She cried, her tears falling steadily. "...tell me that you're all not just some figment of my imagination, that all of you are here and that you're real!"

Elliot's heart was breaking at that moment. "Liv, honey, of course we're real." He whispered tears in his own eyes. "It was just a dream." He promised, assuring her, and swore to her that they weren't a figment of her imagination, and he held her.

…

The next morning at Nick's…

Carolyn had finally come home after spending the entire day in the hospital and it couldn't have come sooner. Another minute in that place where her baby died and she probably would have lost it.

Nick thought she'd be more comfortable at her own apartment, and so that's where he brought her. She was a complete mess. She'd cried most of the night, unable to sleep until about four this morning. and even then she could only fall asleep with Nick beside her.

It was way almost nine o'clock now, and she showed no signs of getting up or even waking. Nick had never seen her like this.

"...so what was the matter that you flew out the door so fast yesterday? I tried all day to get you but I couldn't." Fin said through the phone.

Nick debated if he should tell him about the miscarriage. After all, they hadn't told anyone that a baby was coming. But there couldn't be any harm in telling Fin; he was there when Nick got the call, so it's not as if he could explain it away.

"Fin...Carolyn…" he heard a door open and turned his head towards the noise to see Carolyn, fully dressed and made up, come out of the room. Nick was a bit shocked. "Fin, I'll call you back." He didn't give Fin a chance to respond and hung up.

"Have you seen my briefcase?"

"Why are you dressed?"

"I usually dress for work." She laughed as she put on her coat.

"You're going to work?"

"I have clients."

"Carińo, you just lost a b-"

"I'm gonna be late. Oh and don't forget, we're visiting my parents this weekend to tell them about the engagement. I'll see you later." She said, then walked out the door.

"What the hell was that?!"

…

Another day. Stanley Phillips told himself as he stared into the steamy mirror after stepping out of his shower.

How much longer could he keep this up? He wondered. Almost twenty long years he'd been an agent with the FBI. Twenty years in which he'd run free with his crimes. Crimes that if you asked him, those bitches all deserved what they got. Man, if they could just find some of the bodies he'd left behind!

He laughed when he thought about them. Fucking bitches! But there was still one bitch in particular that he had to worry about; not so much her, but her videos. Be stealth- that's always been his game, and why he'd never been caught or even suspected. But this case was really unnerving.

Here it was, over a week later and he was still nervous about Samuel Abernathy. Had he done business with this man in the past? Yes, but up until now, Samuel had been kept safe. Stanley had no idea what he would do or say now that Abernathy's safety was no longer guaranteed. How did he miss it? He wondered. He even made aware of the bust until it was right under his nose, and by then it was too late to do anything about it.

Hell, even he could admit that it was sick what Abernathy had been doing to those little girls. But hey, like all women, they were sluts too, and like sluts, they wanted it and were probably missing it as he spoke.

"Don't get distracted. We've got work to do, and those little whores will not ruin my plans." He thought. "And neither will their father!"

…

"...talk to the social worker and get back to me," Fin said to the two newest detectives, Kezia Jackson, KJ as she'd been affectionately nicknamed around the precinct, and Maribel Santos as they left the squad room. They had been with the special victims unit for just over a year now and Fin thanked god they had fit right in as he'd been through five detectives just in the last two years.

"Not as busy as I remember it around here," Amanda said as she walked in.

"It's still early," Fin smiled, trying not to let his excitement show. "What are you doing here?"

"You called and said you couldn't make it last night but, I needed to talk to you; you got a few minutes?"

"Yeah, come on in my office." He said as they turned to go. He was closing the door as Amanda put her coat down on the chair by his desk.

"Fin, there's no easy way to say this,"

"Say what?"

Amanda gathered herself. "...I gave them two weeks' notice at the ME's office this morning."

"Two weeks' notice?" Fin said, surprised. "You're quitting?"

Biting her lip nervously… "It's temporary..."

Fin got a perplexed look on his face. "You quit your job; how temporary are we talking?"

"Funny you should ask…Fin, I'm moving to DC."

Leaving? Why does it feel like someone just squeezed his heart with a vice grip and left it bursting? "...you're leaving?"

"I wanted to tell you sooner,"

"Sooner? How long have you known?"

"A few days now. Eugenia asked me when she first came a week ago-"

"You've been sitting on this for a week? You just up and decide you're moving to DC and you didn't bother to tell me?"

"I didn't just decide, Fin…"

"Wow!" He said, obviously hurt but trying his damndest to act as if this didn't bother him as he went and sat at his desk. "...I guess we weren't serious after all," You're going too Far, Fin...

And there it was, the slap in the face that she never saw coming and it stung! She'd never professed her feelings to Fin, nor he to her but they were there.

"...don't say that." She cried in a quiet, barely-there voice. He knew at that moment that he'd hurt her but right now, he was too upset with his own situation to care. He was losing her; and to what? She was gonna go to DC and start a new life before anybody ever got the chance to know that they were even a thing?

"Why not? It's true ain't it?" You're going too far...

"If you'll just let me explain-"

"Explain what? You've said all you need to say. You're leaving and we have no further business here." He pretended to look at his computer while she stood staring at him for a moment in tears but quickly wiped them away.

"So I guess that's it then?" She said. Her heart was tearing in two

He still wouldn't look up. "I guess so." Just then, Nick walked in.

"Hey, Rollins…" He said as she walked right past him, through the door, and out of the squad room. "Okay... bye Rollins." He looked after her for a moment before he turned around to Fin. " What's her problem?" He asked as he came in and shut the door.

"Long story. I thought you weren't coming in today."

"So did I, but…"

"What's goin on with you?" Fin asked and listened as Nick let off a long sigh and sat on the couch.

"I debated if I should even say anything. We wanted to wait to tell our parents first,"

"Nick, what happened?"

"Fin, Carolyn; she miscarried yesterday. That's what that phone call was about…"

...

"Are you sure you don't want me to call Denise?" Elliot said from where he stood in the doorway as Olivia was in Fin's room putting things away. Last night had been tough, to say the least. It's like Olivia was in some other world, one that she couldn't wake up from and it scared him. Scared him to know that just for a brief moment, he was afraid for the children. It was quick, but still, there was fear. Seeing Harlan's look-alike, piled onto her trying so hard to deal with Abernathy's arrest and finding out about those videos being out there...

Olivia looked up and looked through Elliot, then stared at him for another moment before she turned back to what she was doing.

"I can handle it." She said quietly.

"...I know you can, it's just that you look tired and I-"

"You're worrying..." She said. I told you, I'm fine."

"I just...Olivia, please. You weren't-"

"Stop. Okay? Please just stop. I saw him, I had a reaction, it's over." Standing at the dresser, she quickly wiped the tears that escaped her eyes. "I'm fine." And she continued to put the tee shirts and socks in the drawers.

"Then talk to me about your dream. Maybe I can help, maybe-"

"El, drop it, please." She said quietly, the memory of last night's dream still so real!

"Liv-"

"I don't wanna talk about last night. Now please, just go. Okay, we'll be fine for a few hours." Just then, the baby started to cry and Elliot moved to get him. "I got him, he's probably just wet."

Serena, who sat playing on the floor of the nursery, heard the magic words. "Mommy, I get the diapers," Serena announced as she got up and ran for the changing table while Liv lifted Fin from the swing.

"Liv-"

"El, I'm fine, it's fine…" she said. "and thanks for putting the crib together." She turned to him with the baby in her arms and kissed him, forcing a half-smile on her lips, but she couldn't hide the look of despair in her eyes. Elliot felt helpless. He knew she wasn't okay. But right now, he could do nothing but stand there in the doorway and watch her.

"Daddy I wanna go…" Serena said as he picked her up.

"You can't right now princess. But how about daddy takes you to the park when he comes back?"

"Can we build a snowman?"

"Baby, there's no snow," Elliot said, laughing. He kissed Serena and put her down. "I'll just be a couple of hours." He announced it to Liv while she had her back to him.

"Mmhm...please, lock up." She said as she lay Fin on the changing table.

"Mommy, why is there no snow?" Elliot heard Serena ask as he headed down the stairs.

Once outside in the car, he sat there for a moment and then grabbed his phone to make a call.

"Thanks for coming, everybody. See you guys next time!" The instructor said as the class, including Kathleen, slowly cleared the large studio.

"Hey, Dad, what's up?" She answered her phone, breathing heavily and blotting her face with a hand towel. She'd just hopped off of a bike in a spin class at the gym and had worked up quite a sweat.

"Bad time?" Elliot asked, praying silently he hadn't just caught her in the middle of...something.

"No..." she stopped, took a long drink of water, and tried catching her breath. "No, I just finished an extreme spin class. Everybody okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine."

"That's good, I was just about to call the house. I was wondering if Liv was up for a visit. I know I just came by a couple of days ago but I wanted to spend some time with the kids."

Elliot thanked God at that moment. He didn't even have to ask. "Yeah, that would be great. I'm not there but Liv would love to see you. I gotta admit, it's pretty amazing what an incredible big sister you've been to Serena."

"Serena's a great kid. I'll grab a quick shower and head over. Love you, old man!" she laughed and hung up.

…

"You don't sound good," Rafael said to Olivia as she was on the other end of the phone surrounded by what sounded like a group of children, but was just Serena, joyfully screaming as she ran crazily around her bedroom while Olivia nursed the baby.

"I'm hanging in there."

"Sounds like you're at a concert."

"Funny...that's just Serena burning off her morning energy."

"If I had that much pep…"

"You don't know the half of it..." She sighed. "I probably shouldn't be asking you this right now, but what do you know about the man they arrested, Abernathy?"

"What brought this on?" He asked, confusing her.

"Excuse me?"

"I mean that you just gave birth a week ago; you shouldn't have time to think about this."

"...I shouldn't have time to think about my rapes; and the man that was caught selling copies of them?"

"I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry." He apologized upon reading the tone in her voice. She was annoyed, and suddenly he felt bad.

"Raf, please, I need to know. I need to try to give my mind some semblance of order…."

This time, she could hear a definite sigh, though it was a silent one from Rafael. As bad as he felt, he didn't think it was a good idea at all for Olivia to be looking into this man.

"Liv-"

"Wait..." She suddenly put him on hold. Serena was desperately calling for her and immediately went to Serena's room to thankfully discover it was a false alarm.

"Serena, what are you…" she asked, her breath calming down and her heart settling in her chest as she got in the room and looked at her daughter who was now waist-deep in her toy chest, the toys were thrown out around her feet that barely touched the floor anymore. She was stuck halfway in, though not really because Olivia knew from experience that she could get out of this position. She'd been doing it since she was a year old, but Olivia decided to amuse the child and get her out. Still holding the baby while he fed, she lifted the lid to the toy chest and pulled Serena's top half out, setting her bare feet on the floor.

"Oh goodness, mommy!" Serena said in her little voice, getting off invisible dust before she threw one of her long pigtails back. "Thank you!" She exclaimed then pursed her lips for a kiss and giggled happily when she got one.

Olivia turned back to her phone call as she sat in the large, cream-colored chair in the far corner of the room. Serena was now singing a made-up song, quite loud as she carefully placed her toys back in the chest. She did that often- took her toys out of the toy chest just to place them back in again.

"...sorry about that. So, Abernathy."

"Honestly, Liv, I don't have much to tell you because this is a federal case…"

"Are you really gonna lie to me?"

Another sigh from Rafael. This one, sorrowful. What did he know?

"Barba…"

"Why don't you ask Elliot? I'm sure he knows-"

"Because I'm asking you..."

"It's worse than just your videos Liv, a lot worse."

For some reason, it suddenly clicked as Serena came over to her and kissed the baby's head then ran back to her toy dog. Tears came to Olivia's eyes, none of them dropping but she let it roll as she then looked down at her son. A sudden feeling of nauseousness came over her…

"There were children..."

"Two of them," he said uncomfortably, still the thought of what this man had been doing to those kids... "girls, seven and nine. They're still finding out where they came from but they were in his custody when they arrested him. He forced those kids to do sick things with him and he sold the recordings as part of his business."

"I don't think I need to hear more,"

"Liv, he's not getting away with this. Not him and surely not whoever supplied him with those recordings!"

…

At the office of the US attorney….

"We finally got a hit on the kids!" Grace Rodriguez said as she burst into Tasha Grey's office. Tasha Grey was the US attorney and the one who would be trying Samuel Abernathy.

"...I'll need to call you back," Tasha said to the person she was talking to on the phone and hung up, giving all her attention to agent Rodriguez. "Well?"

"Take a look," Rodriguez said as she dropped the folder onto a very pregnant Tasha's desk.

Looking at the report inside, Tasha's eyes nearly bugged out of her head. "Are you fucking kidding me... they're not his kids?" She was astounded. "...so where's their mother? Or their father for that reasoning "

"We don't know. They didn't find them in the US DNA database, they're now looking in Canada and South America."

"Good. Keep me posted." Tasha said as she picked up the receiver on her desk phone to make a call.

"Will do," Rodriguez told her as she started to walk out of the office.

"Hey Grace," Tasha called from her desk just as Rodriguez had her hand on the door. Grace stopped and turned around. "Do me a favor and keep this need-to-know."

Grace bit the inside of her cheek before she spoke up, walking back to Tasha's desk. "...you know, from the moment this case came about...the child rape and pornography alone, I hope they lock this guy away till his bones turn to dust."

"But…"

Rodriguez took a beat. "The tapes of the Sergeant, her rapes… How did he get his hands on those? They were under serious federal lock, and I wonder if…"

"Why do you think I want this kept close to the vest?"

…

"Leenie!" Serena yelled as she jumped up and down with her arms raised to Kathleen. This was definitely her favorite sister.

"Hey, squirt." Kathleen laughed as she picked her up and kissed her. Serena quickly gave her one in return. "Wow, you're getting better with your kisses sweet girl." She said then looked towards Olivia who was holding Fin. "I brought lunch, I figured you hadn't eaten yet."

"Did I ever tell you what a saint you are?" Olivia said to Kathleen as they hugged. "...I hadn't, keeping after these two,"

"Well, you're in luck,"

"I could kiss you! Come on downstairs to the family room, Serena's teaching class so we can relax."

Kathleen was so amused. "...are you?"

"Yes, I teaching mommy and Fin," Serena answered as the four of them went towards the stairs.

"Wow, can I learn too?"

Later, Olivia had eaten until she couldn't anymore. Now, she was a Nursing Fin while she and Kathleen sat.

"God he's so beautiful!"

"I think so," Olivia agreed "...but then of course I'm biased." She smiled as she stroked the baby's face. "So tell me, what really brought you here today? I know it wasn't just to bring me lunch."

"Can't I do something nice for my second mom?" She smiled.

"You can; and you do, often. But there's something you wanna talk about?"

"Forever the detective…" Kathleen mused and Olivia smiled.

"Some things never change..." She was just happy to have someone who could take her mind, even if just for a short time, off of her own problems. "So, what is it?"

Kathleen continued to watch Olivia for a moment before she spoke. "It's really just amazing that your body makes milk."

"Way more than I actually need. I had the same issue when Serena was born. Thankfully I can freeze this stuff." She knew that Kathleen was purposely stalling, but decided to give her room.

"Does it hurt; breastfeeding?"

"Um...it was a little uncomfortable in the beginning; both times..." Olivia noticed that Fin was now sleeping and she carefully unlatched him and continued to rock him in her arms as she watched him settle in.

"Can I trust you with something?"

"You know you can." She said as she looked down and stroked her daughter's hair. Serena lay beside her, finally tired out, and sleeping on the large sectional sofa.

"I haven't talked to my parents yet," Kathleen said quietly as she stared down at her hands that were now in front of her and she fiddled with her fingers. "I haven't actually talked to anyone yet,"

"Well, you know that whatever we talk about is between us."

She looked up at Olivia. "That's why I came to you. You're the only person who won't judge...well, you and Elizabeth, but she can't keep anything from mom or dad and I'm just not ready for them to know yet... If I ever want them to know."

"Know… Kathleen, are you-"

"Seven weeks,"

"Oh…" This was definitely a surprise. "I didn't know you were seeing anyone,"

"Because I'm not. I've basically been having fun since Anna and I broke up, no commitments, you know? Remember when I went to Jamaica a little while ago? I was having an AMAZING time with this guy, Princeton. Anyway, things got a little crazy one night, and the condom sort of...it broke."

"It happens,"

"Yeah, but how many of us can say we took a morning-after pill the next day and it didn't work? I thought it would fix any issues, but lo and behold..." She cried, gesturing to her stomach.

"Have you decided...?"

"I was hoping you could give me some insight..."

Olivia laughed at the irony of the situation. "I hardly think I'm the one to give you advice on that front."

"I was afraid you'd say that. Mom would tell me that I have to have it, that God wouldn't have given it to me if he didn't have plans for it."

"What do you say?"

"I don't exactly believe in the God I was raised with anymore. I think it was just happenstance that sperm met egg and I'm pretty much unsure about what I want to do with the little...is it a fetus yet, or no?" She asked, genuinely perplexed.

"Almost," Olivia laughed.

"I'm just...I can't have a baby. With my bipolar, my job, my life...everything is balanced. I don't know where a child would fit in with all of that...especially one without a father."

"This is not in any way an endorsement to go either way, but, the father isn't the deciding factor. If it's one thing I know, this has to be your decision. Cut everybody else out of it."

...

Elliot got to the Federal detention center just after lunch and paused before heading in.

Don't kill him.

He'd told himself over and over since he'd first driven away from his home. It was the reason it had taken him a week to get here. And now that he was standing in front of this prison, where Samuel Abernathy was on the other side of that wall, he had to tell himself even more.

Don't. Kill. Him.

Of course, he wouldn't. Well, not intentionally he wouldn't. But who's to say what can happen when a perp- especially a perp as lovely as Abernathy with his child pornography business, is being belligerent.

He had gotten inside and taken to a private visiting room where he'd been left alone for 23 minutes now. How long did it take to get scum out of a cell? He wondered just as he saw the door open, and he stood from where he was sitting on the table, ready to do business. Abernathy would tell him where he got the recordings of his wife, and he'd let him live. Seemed fair enough. Only, Abernathy wasn't the one who stepped into the room. Instead, it was a guard.

"Stabler…" Richards called to him as he entered, alone.

"Hey. So where is the little weasel?"

"The little weasel is refusing visitors."

"What?"

Handing Elliot a folded piece of paper. "I'm sorry man. He asked me to give you that…"

"What the hell's this?" Elliot asked as he unfolded it and read the lines out loud. 'I've taken the 5th. Leave me alone!' "Is this a joke?"

"Afraid not. He's had me give those to every person that's come through here wanting to see him. Outside of his lawyer, he's refused to see anyone."

"To think that anyone would defend the freak!" To say this pissed Elliot off… He paced the small room anxiously a few times.

"Again, I'm sorry," Richards said. "...but it is Abernathy's right to refuse."

"The bastard is protected by the law, and you're just doing your job." He said, turning to leave.

Sonofabitch!

…

Going back to work after talking with Fin, her mind just wasn't with it as she found herself in tears at random intervals. She'd tried to control it, but what was the use? She had hurt Fin and she knew it, but he had hurt her too. Even more, she'd hurt herself by agreeing to just up and move to DC when she didn't want to. Her life was here, her friends who were family.

Not wanting to be at the office with the way she was feeling, she made an excuse about not feeling well and went home for the day.

When she arrived at her apartment building, she removed her keys to enter and let the door slam behind her as she absently looked at the time on her watch. Just after one o'clock. The twins were at music class, so she would have peace and quiet for at least the next hour, and she was thankful. She needed this time to clear her head a bit, she thought as the elevator went up to her apartment.

She didn't want to go to DC, and if it weren't for Darrell's mom and her being diagnosed with deadly cancer, there's no way that she would be going. She loved Eugenia (though she could be overbearing at times), but honestly, she wouldn't even consider this if the woman weren't dying. She'd be uprooting her life; uprooting her children's lives. They were only a bit over a year old but this was home for them. She looked around the apartment as she took off her coat. So much had happened in this loft. She spent so much time here with Darrell and she smiled as she looked over and sat in his favorite chair. Times like today…

"God I miss you!" She cried, tears suddenly filling her eyes and falling as she put her finger through his wedding ring that she still wore on a chain around her neck. "After you-" it's been two years and she still couldn't say it. "...a widow at 34. You left me a widow at 34, with two babies in my belly, and for the longest time, I just wanted to go with you. I wanted to be wherever you are because it had to be easier than how you left me but I had those babies; growin inside me and giving me hope that it'd be okay… and I had Fin. He was there for me through so many breakdowns where I wanted to give up. He's been so incredible to us…"

"I've been seein him, but you probably already know that. It's just been the last four months but it was nothing serious- at least I thought it wasn't. I told your momma that I would move to DC with her and I didn't consider him in that decision… I hurt him, Darrell."

Just then her phone rang and she quickly wiped her eyes before she picked up and answered. There were voices on the other end. It sounded like two women though she couldn't hear them too well.

"Hello?" She said, kind of freaked out. They couldn't hear her either. "Hello, this is Amanda…" No answer from whoever was on the line. There must be some kind of signal mix up, she thought. She was about to hang up when the voices suddenly came through clear as day.

"...I can not wait to see the babies. It's been so long."

"Have you told the children?"

"Eugenia…?" Amanda said when it became clear, but still, they couldn't hear Amanda.

"I have, and they are so excited that their cousins are coming. You know mother, while I'm glad that you did what was necessary to secure their upbringing, I worry. What happens when their mother finds out the truth? She won't take lightly having been tricked."

"Catherine, you let me worry about that. But for now, I have cancer."

"I still have reservations about you going so far. I mean, Cancer, mother? Really?"

And then the line cut out. Amanda was speechless as she still held the phone to her ear, wide eyes and just shocked. What the hell?!

…

She'd be the perfect test whore for him and his new chamber. Just look at her, beautiful, brunette and what's most, she happens to be a Latina. He likes Latinas! Especially one's like her; educated and high class.

It felt that much better when they realized what was about to happen to them! He laughed to himself, darkly while he watched her at the table a few feet away. She was having lunch while she talked to who he guessed was a coworker.

"I heard that you weren't doing too well yesterday."

"Oh, yeah. I um, I had a stomach virus. It's fine now." She smiled at her friend as the waiter brought their food.

Stanley was so hard as he watched her. He could see her nipples through her blouse and that did it for him. He nearly came right there as he imagined her naked on top of him while he had those nipples bound impossibly tight with rubber bands. They were hard and blue as he fucked her while she screamed. He was brought out of it when his phone rang and annoyed, he picked up.

"This had better be good..." He said to the man on the other end of his burner phone.

"Oh, it's very good," Richards said. "I found a way for you to get to Abernathy."

…

Until next time.