She stared at herself in the mirror and huffed. Swollen. Irritated. Protruding. Big. Round….Enough. She scolded herself. Enough with those adjectives you hate, she told herself. Soon, she reminded herself. But when was soon? She feared soon. Soon she was going to be free and that burden she carried would be shared by her and her wife. But when was soon? Was it anytime soon? Or was it in few days soon? Maybe it was in few weeks soon. Everybody wanted the in few weeks soon because it was the right soon.
Enough. Her head ached.
She glared at her mother through the mirror and waited for Sara impatiently to finish her phone call outside. Everything was taking too long. Her feet began to hurt as well.
"Mum," she whispered with irritation. "Can we please not do this?" She looked outside and Sara was still talking on the phone. Her head was down and her demeanor was vague. She turned around and huffed again. "I don't wanna wear this."
"It's your brother's wedding," her mother said, smiling politely at the saleswoman assisting her with the green dress. "You must wear a dress."
"I don't have to wear a dress," Tegan said. Despite her saying no many times before, Sonia insisted on making her get a dress. Sara was dragged along, but Sara didn't mind wearing a dress. Tegan, on the other hand, almost cried on her way to the store her mother had picked.
"Tegan, please do it for your brother." Sonia sighed.
"He couldn't care less if I showed up in my Winnie the Pooh boxers, okay?" The lady helping her looked up, eyes wide open. "What?"
"I'm so sorry," Sonia apologized. She looked out of the window, hoping Sara would finish her phone call and stop her daughter's approaching tantrum.
Sara sighed and huffed as she walked to and fro, hearing every shocking detail from her friend. She nodded and hummed and shook her head, but she was utterly speechless. "I just can't believe it," she whispered. "How could they lie and blame my wife for writing such a letter when it wasn't her?"
"I'm sorry, Sara," Dana said. "At least now we know who did it." Sara nodded, even though her friend couldn't see her. "You should be relieved now."
"I just don't get it. Like…was Tegan's name on the complaint or was it…"
"Nope," Dana said. "It wasn't." Dana chuckled. "It's shocking, though, right?"
"Now that I think of it, it's not." Sara sighed. "I just…I don't know how I'll get over it now that I know who's done it." She took a deep breath. "Tegan should never find out."
"Look, now you should be happy because we could finally tell who's done it and it's not your wife, so if you want me to contact…"
"No," Sara yelled. "Don't do that."
"But, Sara, you can get your place back now that we have proof." Sara thought about it. She thought for a long time and deeply. She closed her eyes and breathed in and out for a few seconds. "Sara?"
She opened her eyes again, feeling her tears on her lids. "No, Dana." She looked up and Sonia's eyes met her. "I don't think I should do this." She looked down at her feet. "It would bring too much drama."
"Okay." Dana sighed. "Since Jack could get the letter, I think he can get you your place back. I don't want to get your hopes up but the chair isn't really in a good place right now because of what happened."
"Dana, I don't want Jack to be the hero who saves me," she admitted her fear. "I want to go back to my place but I want it to happen with dignity." Jack had been promoted to Dean. He's in her place. It upset her when she found out. She cried for a whole day. Though he was trying to help her go back, she knew he would take credit for it and make himself the hero.
"I understand everything you're saying," Dana said. "I truly do…but that's what we can do right now."
"And I appreciate it. I really do." She wiped a falling tear and lifted her head up. Tegan was in a purple dress now. It looked horrible. She had to go inside and stop Sonia or else her wife was going to lose her mind. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you so much."
"No need, my friend. We're just here to get you your place back."
She finished the phone call and stepped inside the store. She walked up to the large mirror in the center and made herself visible through it. She saw her wife's tears sliding down her cheeks. A plea of help was shouted through her eyes. "Hey, I'm sorry. That was my mum," she lied and cleared her throat. Darn it, she had to get rid of that awful habit. Such an awful liar. "Umm…this dress isn't…"
"See," Tegan hollered before Sara could finish her sentence. "It's ugly."
Sonia stared at Sara. Sara shrugged. Sonia huffed in irritation.
The next dress wasn't any better. In fact, it was worse. Though it was black as Tegan had requested, a loud gasp still came out of both her and her wife's lips.
"No," she said loudly. "I'm not wearing this." She put a hand over her chest, covering the cleavage that made her wife stare with wide eyes.
"What's wrong with it?" Sonia said. "We can…like, adjust it or something, make the opening in the front less revealing." She looked at the saleswoman and with a nod she was assured.
"I look like a cow," Tegan said. "Literally like a cow."
Sara didn't think she looked awful, but the jealous person inside her could never rest if her wife was wearing something like that in public. She was not that person who controlled what her partners would wear and how they would act. She hated those people, in fact. However, now, with Tegan, just the thought of it made her rage and fume. She despised that inner jealous man inside of her.
"Do you have suits for women?" she asked. Tegan nodded quickly, happy that her wife understood her.
"I'm afraid we don't have her size." Sara raised an eyebrow. "We don't have maternity suits. Only maternity dresses and she has tried most of them already." Sara was beginning to lose her patience; her wife could sense it by looking at her eyes. "And we don't have plus size suits," the woman added.
"What about male suits?" Tegan quickly asked, saving the woman from Sara's sharp retorts.
"Oh…uh…I'm not quite sure…"
"Tegan, I've already packed an outfit for you and me. Can we go home?" Sara ghosted the woman and also ignored Sonia and her furrowed brows. Tegan did not care because she wanted to go home.
On the way home, nobody said anything until Sonia stopped at a red light.
"I'd like to feel like I have a daughter for once," she said. "Is it too much to ask?"
"Do you want me to show you my vagina?" Tegan said. Sara was shaking her head in the backseat, trying her best not to shout at Sonia. Were all mothers the same?
Tegan began to cry.
"Fucking accept me as I am, can't you?" she said with rasp in her voice. Sara's heart broke a little. She had never imagined Sonia to be a version of her own mother, a more tolerant version but still awful with her thoughts and ideas nonetheless. "We've been arguing about this since I was in diapers."
Sonia didn't answer. Sara stretched an arm and squeezed her wife's shoulder.
"I'll never let my daughters suffer like this," she whispered. Her mother sighed.
Tegan walked as quickly as her feet could carry her inside the house, leaving Sara with Sonia in the car. Sara wanted to follow, but first she had to say a few words. "It isn't a nice feeling to sense that your mother doesn't like you or accept you. Maybe she's still around right now, but she won't be around forever if you won't make her feel loved."
"I love my daughter," Sonia said as she removed her sunglasses. Her eyes were red; she had been crying. "I know I make mistakes. I know I say mean things. I love her though. I love her more than I love anything in the world so please don't compare me to your mother." Sara nodded. Saying something else would cause a problem, she figured. "I just don't want her grandmother and aunts to trash her in the wedding. They already do that. They don't talk to us because of her sexuality and she doesn't care, but I do." Sara sighed. She understood. "My mother in law hates me because she thinks I'm the reason my daughter is gay and married to a woman. The least I could do is making her look normal to them…whatever normal is." Sara nodded again. Sonia sniffled.
"If it makes you feel any better, I'm wearing a dress." Sonia wiped a tear. She smiled, something Sara didn't expect. "I like dresses, she doesn't. She has some issues with her body, especially right now, so making her wear one isn't going to help at all."
"I know," Sonia said. "Will you get your hair and makeup done like me?"
"I will," Sara said with a chuckle. "I don't mind that, and I don't think she does as well." Sonia sighed in relief.
Sara found her wife resting on her back in her bedroom. She sat down next to her and sighed loudly. Nothing needed to be said. She was still trying to absorb the information she had received on the phone earlier. Tegan was probably still anxious about her mother's quest. Sara put her head on the pillow and Tegan sighed this time. They stared at the ceiling with hands itching to be held. Sara initiated it until Tegan's soft hand was in her own grasp.
In such quiet moments, Tegan could hear the definiteness of her heartbeats. Loud, angry, troubled—it reminded her of that heart in one of her favorite short stories: The Tell-Tale Heart. Her father had run some tests but nothing was too alarming. However, there was a huge chance they were going to fix her issue right after the birth, which wasn't something she looked up to because that meant she would need time until she could see her babies. Part of her was anxious; the other was excited to see them already. Subconsciously, she put her hand on top of her swollen belly.
The male doctor her mother made her visit was an instant no. She did not even let him discuss her birth plan after the ultra sound. She demanded a female surgeon, so Sonia recommended her best friend. Tegan was shy at first because she remembered that woman visiting their house when she was young, but soon enough she felt comfortable. The woman assured both her and Sara that their babies were both fine and the date of the surgery was supposed to be in the 16th of April, that meant she still had about six weeks to go. However, the doctor told them it may happen any second and her water might break. She hoped it wasn't going to happen anytime soon, especially not in her brother's wedding. It was in two weeks and by then she'd be in her 34th week. She was to deliver in her 38th week and not wait till she's 40 weeks due to her breathing issues.
"What are you thinking about?" Sara asked.
"I'm doing the math," she answered.
"The birth?" Sara's eyes moved down where her wife's hand were. "Seems so soon."
"Yeah," Tegan said. "I can't wait to see them."
"Me, too." Sara hoped she'd see them.
"My mum's only doing this because I don't wanna breastfeed." Sara chuckled. "I swear. Somehow it's offending her."
"It's not her decision to make. It's yours. It really shouldn't bother her at all."
"Would you breastfeed?" Tegan asked. "If they were two, I mean?"
"I would try, yes," Sara said. "I feel like they deserve it. At least I'd pump for them." Sara shrugged. Tegan sighed and pondered the idea in her head. "Would you?" Sara asked. "If it was one?"
"I'm not sure," she mumbled. "It's not that they're two that I don't want to do this, it's just…the fact that I'm using my breasts."
"Yeah, I understand."
"You do?" Tegan seemed surprised.
"Yes, I do. I wasn't a big fan of mine when I was pregnant…or when I was young in general. Always hated them. I get your point." Tegan nodded. "But you know, it's the bond that I liked."
"They look horrible," Tegan shot. "Have you seen them lately?" She chortled. "Wait, let me show you." She sat up, groaning because of the weight that accompanied her. She lifted up her hoodie and lowered her bra. Sara smiled. "Why are my nipples so huge? They weren't like this before." She looked down at her prominent nipples and large areolas.
"I think they look nice," Sara said, and, to her, it wasn't a lie. "Not bad at all. A bit large because you're lactating, that's it." Tegan covered herself again, smirking. "What's with the evil smile?"
"I want a foot massage. Please?" The smug smirk turned into cunning laughter as the older woman glared playfully. "Pretty please?" She put her head on the pillow and wiggled her toes. Sara sat up and moved to where her feet were.
"Hand me the foot cream." Tegan's hand searched around the bedside table until she felt the smooth round plastic bottle. She raised it up to make sure it was what she was looking for but it was snatched from her hastily.
"Hey," she said loudly. Sara laughed. "Meanie."
"It was taking you too long." Sara scooped some lotion in her hands and instantly rubbed Tegan's right foot. Tegan moaned and closed her eyes. "They hurt?"
"So much," Tegan said with a deep breath. "I can't stand on my feet for too long anymore. My back and feet hurt a lot after it." Sara nodded. "I really hope we won't have to do another dress hunt spree. I can't take it anymore."
"I have a suit for you," Sara said, taking the left foot to give it the same treatment. Tegan's eyes could barley be opened despite the surprise she was in. "I kinda…tailored one for you." Sara cleared her throat. "It was supposed to be a surprise."
"But…" Tegan tried to sit up but she couldn't. Sara was giving her the best treatment possible. She was floating on air. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't want to upset your mum." Sara shrugged.
"Oh, baby," she whispered and Sara smiled. "Please kiss me right now, I can't sit up." And so Sara did. Her wife moaned and kissed back. When she pulled away, she said, "Fuck, I'm feeling tingly."
Sara sat back at the end of the mattress once again, the specter of her laughter still on her face as well as the blush of her bashfulness. "What does that mean?"
"I feel good," Tegan whispered. "Too good actually."
"That's good." Sara nodded. She bit her lower lip.
"My…my clit is doing that thing." Sara's eyes widened. She raised an eyebrow and somehow her cheeks became redder. "It's…" Tegan paused. "It's like…when I'm horny…when I get aroused, my clit kinda…"
"Pulsates," Sara continued for her. Tegan nodded. "Like a jump."
"Oh, yeah." Tegan closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I want you to rub me."
"Oh, Tee." She left her feet and was back again near her face where her hot breath made Tegan open her eyes and capture her lips in a kiss full of passion and lust. Her hand sneaked beneath her jeans, unbuttoning it and unzipping it, finding its way beneath the underwear. The river she found made her moan even though her state of arousal had been paused for the past few weeks for several reasons.
Their kissing sounds were loud and their moans and breaths were slowly becoming audible as Sara fingered her wife and circled her clit, careful enough not to allow her body to fall on top of Tegan's. Sara's back ached with the position she was in but she didn't care. She wanted to get Tegan off.
Caught up in their nirvana, they didn't hear the footsteps outside or the knob of the door turning. All they could hear was Sonia saying something before both of them could absorb what was happening.
Sara pulled away quickly; breathing heavily as she fell next to Tegan with two wet fingers she tried her best to shield anywhere possible. Sonia's agape mouth and wide eyes faced them for a few minutes. Tegan had a blank face but her cheeks were beet red.
"I'm sorry," Sonia mumbled. "I should've knocked." She sighed. "I came here to ask about the outfit you brought but…I'll leave you alone for now." She almost walked out but quickly turned around and said, "Umm…sex induces labor so try not to have a lot of it." She left and closed the door.
Both women burst in laughter, not able to wait until Sonia was away from the room.
"Fuck my life," Tegan said. "That was the most awkward thing ever." She continued laughing and so did her wife.
They couldn't continue the act. Tegan didn't feel much into it after. It was just too embarrassing for her. Sara didn't feel like it anyway. She stayed in bed and stared at the ceiling as her wife showered. Once again she fell inside the crevice of her thoughts, unable to get out without bringing a dark idea into the present state, crying about it for no reason. Her worries hurt her mind. She wanted to get rid of the feeling but it was glued to her chest. Next thing she felt was somebody kissing her forehead and wiping her tears. It was Tegan. She shushed her and that's when she fell asleep.
When she woke up, Tegan was in the kitchen talking to her mother. Dinner was almost ready and the smell was delicious. Her stomach made a sound.
"Oh, babe, you had a good nap?" Tegan asked. Sara nodded. "Hungry, aren't you?"
"I am a little," she admitted. Sonia looked at her with a smile. "Let me give you a hand."
"No, it's fine, you can sit. I'm almost done. I'm just waiting for Stephen to come home." Tegan's father worked during the weekends sometimes. His working hours were not nice. If they needed him, they called him. One day he had to leave in the middle of the night for an emergency surgery. His job was not easy. He was surrounded by death but he was still kind-hearted and full of emotions, and also he still joked around and made Sara laugh. Sara liked him very much and wished her father was like that. No wonder Tegan thought he was some type of a hero. She wanted to be like him. She wanted her kids to think she's their hero. When he was around, Tegan convinced him to play video games with her. Sara usually watched and smiled. Tegan asked Sara to play, too, but she appeared to be terrible at that so her wife didn't ask her anymore.
"My grandma wants to visit before the wedding. She wants to…umm…" Tegan hesitated.
"Get to know you," Sonia whispered. She sighed. "She wants to examine well, judge, and then go back so she could call everyone telling them about the gay people she saw."
Tegan rolled her eyes and Sara wasn't sure if she did so at her mother or her grandmother.
"She's that…"
"She's that intolerant, yes," Sonia said.
"And she hates mum," mumbled Tegan. "I don't even know why. Mum was never not good to her."
Sara wondered if her mother would hate or like Tegan. Her mother had called only a few times recently. Sometimes Sara worried when her mother didn't call even though she didn't want her to do that. If her mother was to meet Tegan, would she say the same mean comments she used to say when Sara was young or would she accept her? Sara thought about it but no answer was found because she didn't want her mother to meet Tegan…ever.
"Anyway," Sonia said, "I just have to warn both of you. Tegan already knows the kind of family we have from her father's side but you don't."
"Show offs with a lot of money and very fucked up. They're fucking republicans."
"Oh." Sara didn't want to give any remark, not in front of Sonia at least.
"They only care about cars, hair, money, and fake boobs," Sonia said. "And we're trash to them."
"Yeah, those are my aunts and their kids."
"Wow." That was the opposite of her father's family. Though they were conservative in their nature, only her father was the homophobic prick. Her grandparents were nice and her aunts were all lovely. Her only issue was her cousin Audrey and how she used to underestimate her. As for her mother's family, she was not close to them at all. They barely spoke English, so that one time she met her grandparents, she was so young and she could barely understand a word. "Ummm, what about your mother's side?" she asked her wife.
"My family's not here," Sonia said. "My parents live in New York and my sisters don't even live in the States. But one of them is going to come to the wedding and she's excited to meet you," Sonia explained, beginning to put the food in the bowls.
"She has five kids and they're all fascinated with the fact I'm gay." Sara laughed. "I'm serious." She also realized they barely knew about each other's families. It's her fault, though.
"Do they know she's pregnant?" Sonia nodded. "Really?"
"Yeah, Stephen had to tell her grandmother. My sister knows for sure because she's the closest person to me." Sara nodded. "Her grandmother isn't very happy about that. Not because she's young, but because there's no father."
"Ha." Sara chuckled. "Maybe I should wear a suit then." She winked at her wife.
"Wear whatever you want," Sonia said. It seemed strange how she changed her mind in the same day. It's like nothing had ever happened in the morning.
"Let me show you what I brought for us to wear, though," Sara said.
"I haven't seen a thing yet," Tegan added. "I wanna see."
"Okay, after dinner," Sonia said. Just then they heard the door open. Stephen was home.
They had dinner together then Ted and his fiancée came after so the couple had to stay with them as they conversed about the wedding. In that moment Sara was glad she hadn't had a wedding. It felt like too much work. She almost forgot how much time, money, and effort she had to waste when she and Jack had that wedding her mother dreamed of. The thought of Jack brought back the thoughts of the call she had received in the morning. She couldn't stop thinking about how her ex-husband took her place. She felt envious even though he was trying to help her. She felt weak and jealous.
Before falling asleep, Tegan told her wife how she and her mother had reconciled their issues earlier.
"She hugged me…or the three of us," Tegan said, rubbing her baby bump, "and said she was sorry and that she was just doing it so my grandma wouldn't hurt my feelings."
"But I thought your family was tolerant? You told me they were."
"That's my mother's family. They're okay about me being gay." Sara nodded. "Why did your mum call this morning? It seemed serious."
Sara had already made up a lie during the day so it was easy to say it. She even wondered why Tegan hadn't asked about it before. "She was telling me about her new job and how much she hates it." It wasn't fully a lie. Her mother did get a new job, a better job. "She's just like us." Sara chuckled. "I just worried I guess. She's old and still trying to find the perfect job."
"She still doesn't know I'm pregnant?"
"No," Sara simply and quickly answered. Tegan didn't ask another question; she knew if she talked about it, it would lead to an argument. Sara had made up her mind to isolate her mother away from her and it was her decision.
Tegan woke up with sore feet and an aching back in the morning. She whined about it until her wife gave her a massage. Sara offered to rub her shoulders and breasts after, but Tegan was too hungry and wanted to go down and eat.
During breakfast, Tegan and her mother talked about her grandmother visiting while Sara was occupied with her phone. The younger woman tried to get Sara's attention but her wife was way too distracted. Her mother had to go to work so she asked Sara to show her the outfits she had brought with her.
Sara put her phone in her pocket and moved with the two women upstairs. She showed Sonia the suit first. Tegan loved it. It was simple. A black suit and a white shirt. It wasn't very masculine (which Sonia liked) and the blazer was done in a way it could hide Tegan's bump. However, it was too big when Tegan tried it in front of the two women.
"Oh, no," Sara said as Tegan began buttoning the shirt. "I guess I was scared it would be too small so I just…"
"At least I don't look pregnant…just fat." Tegan was very small and she remained that way even though her belly was large.
"I guess we can fix it. We still have time before the wedding," Sonia said, holding the blazer for Tegan to wear.
Before Sara could see her wife in the full suit, her phone rang. It was Dana and she knew it was urgent because they had been texting all morning. Dana said she needed to call and so she did. Sara excused herself to pick the phone outside of the room. She hid in the bathroom so nobody could hear her.
"What's going on?" she asked without even a hello.
"Good news, Sara," Dana said.
"What is it?" Sara panted as if she had been running; she was just nervous.
"He quit," Dana said. "The chair quit because of a huge argument with the dean."
"Jack?" Sara asked.
"Umm no. The new dean, Dr. Seymour." It was Sara's favorite professor and the dean who had stood by her side before. Sara's smile widened and her tears fell quickly. "A lot of changes happened. Jack doesn't want to be a dean. He wants to teach only. I think they will call you soon to ask you to go back, but please accept it this time. They know now that you were treated badly and you were misunderstood."
"Okay but…how…how do they know?"
"Umm…" Dana fell silent.
"What happened?"
"The complaint."
Tegan huffed and groaned as her mother worked with the pins to see how the suit would look if it was a size smaller. She looked at the door waiting for Sara but Sara took too long. She hated the secret Sara had been hiding. She knew there was something.
"Stop moving," Sonia said. "You never change. It's the same thing when I used to get you dressed when you were a toddler. You never stopped moving."
"Ugh," she said. "I need to pee."
"Wait a minute," Sonia said. "Now look up straight."
Tegan looked at herself in the mirror. She did like what she saw but she didn't care much at that moment.
"Looking good," Sonia complimented with a smile. "We just need to do something about your hair and those bags under your eyes."
Sara came inside with a startled look upon her face. Both women looked at the pale complexion and indecisive features. She cleared her throat and smiled. "Umm…that was Dana."
"Oh, what did she want?" Tegan asked and Sara did not answer right away. She sat on the mattress first then checked her wife out. Tegan grew impatient.
"Should I leave?" Sonia said, beginning to exit the room.
"Umm, no, uhh…the person who filed the complaint went to the university and admitted it was done out of a whim and worry and…uh…they kinda made sure that it was just this one complaint and nothing was actually sent about me harassing anybody or Tegan."
"What?" Tegan screamed. "Who was it?"
"I don't know," Sara lied. "They didn't tell me. Said it's confidential information and the person did not want me to know."
"Oh," Tegan said. Sonia seemed shocked, too. When her eyes met Sara's, they stared at each other for quite some times until Tegan interrupted, "So what now?"
"The chair quit after a huge argument and I'm not exactly sure but I think my old dean is now the one in charge or maybe she's the dean instead of Jack. Things are not clear." Sara sighed. "You look lovely," she said. "Really beautiful."
Her wife blushed immediately, especially when Sonia raised an eyebrow.
"Are they going to call you back?" Sonia asked.
"I don't know," Sara said. "I have to wait and see." She shrugged. She turned around and grabbed her dress. She stood up and unzipped the bag it was in. "That's what I'm going to wear."
Her dress was simple, too. It was black and it stopped a few inches below her knees. The fabric was all lace and it had long sleeves and a hick neckline. Tegan thought it looked like a vampire's dress but that was Sara's style. It wasn't as feminine as Sara's past dresses and it wasn't something she had expected.
"Oh, that's nice," Sonia said, feeling the material of the dress. "Didn't this cost you some money?"
"Yeah…umm, I had it then. I mean…I asked my mother." It was something she hated to admit, but she did call her mother to ask for extra money before they traveled just in case she ran out or needed something urgently. She hadn't told her mother about her sudden trip, however.
Sonia offered to pay her back but she refused. They argued about it for some time while Tegan just sat there watching them. It was clear that her wife felt better. She was joking while arguing and Sonia was laughing. When Sonia left to work, Tegan asked to have sex.
"Your mum said it might induce labor."
"Shut up, Sara," Tegan said. "I want you to go down on me. Pleeeeaaaaase?" Tegan begged.
Sara attended to her needs. She stripped her from the waist down and rested between spread legs. Tegan closed her eyes and enjoyed the delicate strokes from Sara's wet tongue, light thrusts of Sara's two fingers, and Sara's nose rubbing her clit. It didn't take her long to orgasm but it was a really nice one that she moaned loudly when it happened.
Sara wiped her mouth and kissed her. She pushed her hand inside Sara's jeans but the older woman instantly pushed the hand away.
"No," Sara whispered. "I'm not wet."
"Oh?" Tegan's questioning eyes made Sara nervous. "How come?"
"I don't know."
"Are you not taking your pills?"
"I am." Sara sighed. "I don't know what's going on with my body."
"Not again." Tegan sighed, too. "Why don't you check?"
"Umm…maybe it's good? I mean you're giving birth soon and your libido will be dead for a few months so maybe it's good mine is as well."
Tegan only shrugged.
They didn't talk to each other after. Sara spent the day reading and Tegan watched some of her shows until Sonia returned. She was earlier than usual so she could prepare dinner for her mother in law. Sara decided to help her around the kitchen.
"What's wrong with Tegan?" Sonia whispered in the kitchen.
"I don't know," Sara said. "What's wrong with her?"
"She glared at me when I said hello and huffed when I asked her to change her clothes."
"Umm…she's just moody." Sara didn't know if anything was wrong with her wife. Tegan hadn't talked to her since earlier after she fucked her. Tegan had shown previous signs of moodiness post sex but that was a long time ago. "Do you want me to ask her?"
"Umm, just leave her alone. Maybe she's just overthinking." Sara left her alone.
Stephen also came home and everyone was going to and fro around the house fixing this and replacing that. Sonia changed her suit and wore a velvety dressed that stopped at her knees. She also wore high heels. Sara was fascinated with how her mother in law looked. Sara wore dress pants and a blazer while Tegan decided to ignore everyone and chose a navy hoodie with leggings (a comfy choice she decided to wear more than pants during her last few months of pregnancy). Sonia scolded her but she didn't care. Her father stood by her side, too. She smirked smugly at her mother.
"At least change the dirty converse."
"No," Tegan exclaimed. "Why do you fucking care about her. She's a cunt."
"Tegan," Stephen yelled. His face grew red. Sara's face, too, out of embarrassment rather than anger.
"Ugh, I forgot she's your mum."
"It feels like having a sixteen year old you around again," Sonia mumbled, questioning how Sara was able to put up with her daughter's childish traits.
"Why doesn't Ted have to come?" she asked. Sara wondered the same thing in her head.
"Because he has work and he already visits her with Tanya once a week."
"Of course," Tegan scoffed, "the perfect boy."
And then the time approached and the awaited woman arrived. She was very old and her hair was white. Her name was Margot and she used a cane to walk, or more likely to point at everything in front of her and poke everything as she talked. One of the things she poked was Tegan's stomach, which made Sara jump, instantly pulling Tegan away.
"I'm not going to hurt her," the grandmother said. "Why did you assume I was going to hurt her?"
"I…I…" Sara hesitated.
"It's out of reflex, Mother," said Stephen, trying to save the day. "Tegan has had some health issues so Sara is always worried."
"Uh, yeah, the heart problem you told me about." She glared at Sonia, who stood like a little girl on a first school day. Finally, the very old woman picked a couch to sit on. Everyone sat down, too. "Maybe the Lord gave her that due to her choice of lovers." Sara blinked, not sure she heard twice. Tegan looked at her and her complexion was slowly changing. It felt like her father was sitting there in front of her. "I just hope that you realize your daughter isn't married in the eyes of God. She has a friend and they are sinning together."
"Mother, please don't discuss our approved lifestyle," Stephen said. When Sara looked at Sonia, she saw her head down. She felt at loss. Tegan blankly stared at her grandmother.
"I just want what's best for my family," said the old lady. "And why did you pick someone that old out of all the women? You already have a mother, or is Sonia not enough?"
That woman was evil, Sara concluded. She was spitting words of hate and nobody could stop her. That was the first time somebody said Sara looked old and it made her skin become even paler.
"Grandma?" Tegan said. "Why don't you mind your own business and leave me alone?"
"I care about you," answered the grandma. "I don't want you to go to hell."
"No, don't worry. I won't be in the same place you're in."
Sonia laughed loudly. Sara laughed, too. Stephen rebuked his daughter and the grandmother glared at them.
Everything happened so fast after. By the end of the night, Sara didn't even know how they were able to have dinner and be in the same room as that atrocious woman for three more hours. When she left, Sara and Sonia shared some wine in the backyard.
"How did you live with her around?" Sara said. "I would have…"
"That's why Stephen and I almost got a divorce."
"What?" Sara's eyes widened and her throat burned. "When?"
"A long time ago." She sighed. "It's not a big deal. We both had to compromise."
"Tegan never told me about that." Sara shrugged. She was glad Sonia was getting used to her. She was happy she could get along with the woman she had feared before. Maybe that trip was good for both of them after all.
"Tegan was a month old." Sonia chuckled. "I mean we did have our fights when she was older but it wasn't like that time everything seemed so bad. She just…his mum, you know, she meddled in everything. She controlled everything. I just hated that."
"Yeah, she reminded me of my dad." Sara wondered how her mother was able to live with him. It was always going to be a mystery to her.
"He was that bad?"
"Even worse." Sara sighed wistfully.
That night Sara heard her in-laws fighting. Their voices were loud and their argument seemed heated. Tegan frowned in bed. Sara tried to kiss her to distract her but she was pushed away.
"Am I a turn off?" the younger woman asked. "Is it…is it my body?"
"What?" Sara said with a raised brow. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm not sexy anymore," she whispered.
"I'd fuck you right now if I wasn't old."
"Ugh." A tear rolled down her eye. "Don't believe that fucking old bitch. You're not old." Tegan wiped the tear. "Can you please check?"
"Get a checkup?" Tegan nodded. "How?"
"My mum?" Sara shook her head. "Come on."
"I'm not letting your mum look at my vagina. I'll wait till we get back."
"It might take a long time."
"No, it shouldn't," Sara said. "You give birth, get the surgery and we go back." That was going to take a long time but Sara didn't want to admit it. Tegan shook her head and faced the window instead of her wife. The argument had disappeared and finally they could fall asleep.
Night after night, however, Sara and Tegan found themselves falling into one argument after the other. Both were bothered and annoyed. Tegan wanted to have sex with Sara and Sara was never turned on. She always pushed her away. Sara was upset because the university hadn't called. She waited and waited and nobody contacted her. When she contacted Jack, he didn't promise they would ask her to return. She continued applying for jobs but she was either overqualified or too old for a certain job. As for universities and colleges, her phone did not ring once and she started losing hope. It made her extra frustrated and Tegan was aware of that so she always tried to ease the tension at night, but Sara never allowed it.
Tegan felt unpleasant and unattractive. Her pains increased and her emotional distress rose up to new levels she could barely tolerate. She used the bathroom more frequently and she was hot all the time. Showering was becoming a hard task. She didn't want to ask Sara to help her and didn't want to ask her mother. She sat down and washed herself. She hid her body as much as she could from her wife and Sara didn't ask about it.
When she asked Sara to draw her one night, Sara refused. That's how Tegan made sure her wife was not turned on by her anymore. They fought. It was too loud. Both cried. Both denied the accusations they threw at each other. It was very late and they were aware of that but each comment and remark led to another pent up thought.
Different words and phrases were heard by worried Sonia and Stephen.
"You got me here and now I feel lost and lonely."
"You don't like me anymore. You hate me. You don't think I'm beautiful."
"I told you about how my body functions. I never lied about it, Tegan."
"I told you not to hide and to talk to me."
Sonia sighed and Stephen shook his head. They waited for the argument to calm down, but it only increased.
"Go shush them up. I need to sleep," Stephen said, facing the other side.
"I don't want to interfere."
"I want to sleep," he said. "I have work in the morning."
Sonia surrendered and arose. She stood outside their door for a few minutes, hearing the loud sobs. Her heart ached because that was her daughter crying.
"I just wanted to make you feel better. I'm trying to."
"I can't feel better because…I don't get it, Tegan. It's not you I'm not turned on by, it's just I'm not comfortable here."
She knocked on the door and waited. Both women opened the door with bloodshot eyes and red cheeks.
"We're trying to sleep," Sonia said. "Is everything okay?"
"You see?" Sara said and walked away. Tegan cried more.
Her mother got her out of the room and talked to her until they both fell asleep in Ted's room. Sara had never felt worse than that. In the morning she stood outside the room and waited. She tried her best to make amends but Tegan was cold. She wondered what her mother had told her, but at least the following nights, Tegan did not yell and did not try too hard.
Sara kissed her one night and it was surprising for the two of them. She kissed her again and their kisses turned into a make-out session. Tegan did not insist, though. She told Sara how much she missed fucking her but that was it. She didn't do anything else. Sara was going to let her try but didn't initiate it. That was the night before the wedding.
When they woke up in the morning, they were smiling at each other; bright and happy. Tegan asked Sara to help her shower and shave and Sara accepted immediately.
They stripped in the bathroom. Sara didn't feel comfortable doing that but nobody paid attention because they were too busy with the last minute preparations of the wedding. She wasn't doing anything wrong, she thought. Tegan was her wife and she had the right to be in the same room with her, naked or not.
She ogled and blushed when Tegan's full breasts faced her.
"Wow," she whispered. "They're so round and beautiful."
"Really?" Her wife was hesitant, not sure if she should hide them or show them. "They're so big."
"They're nice," Sara said. "Can I touch them?"
Tegan nodded.
Sara's touch was very gentle. She didn't press and didn't squeeze. She didn't even touch her wife's nipples. Tegan put her hand on Sara's breasts, too. But she kneaded and squeezed and fondled freely. They kissed after. They kissed and Sara felt happy because she could feel hints of arousal. She pulled Tegan's hand and dragged it down, down till the fingers were tangled in the brown curls, right before Tegan could inspect and examine between the hungry lips.
"You're kinda wet," Tegan said. "Wow." Sara nodded. "It's not much, though."
"It's much better than before."
"I'm glad."
"You believe I'm still attracted to you?" Sara smiled. Tegan pulled her hand away. They didn't have time for sex. After the shower they had to get their hair and makeup done. Her mother asked a hairdresser and a makeup artist to come to their house and in the afternoon.
"Even to my sunny-side up egg nipples?"
Sara laughed loudly. She cackled in fact.
"They're not bad," Sara said. "You're going to give birth very soon so it's very normal they look like that." Tegan sighed.
"Do you wanna touch them?"
"I don't wanna hurt you," Sara said. "Plus, I might press and you start…squirting milk at me."
"What?" Tegan yelled. "No way."
"It might happen." She laughed. "It happened to me." Tegan's eyes widened. "So I'll just leave them for now." Sara's eyes were still fixed on the breasts.
Tegan became curious so she touched her own breasts and squeezed, hissing as the pain surged through her body. She touched a nipple and squeezed. Nothing came out. She shrugged. "I guess because I've never pumped, milk won't come out easily."
"Not necessarily," Sara said. "Anyway, you don't wanna breastfeed so it's better you don't have any yet. It hurts when your breasts are full and you can't free the milk."
Tegan nodded, anxious to change the subject as soon as she could. It didn't make her feel comfortable. She wasn't sure why. She hated to admit it was her guilt but it was part of it. At the same time, she hated the mere idea of having a child suckling at her nipples. She looked down at her bump and sighed. She wanted it to end already. It took too long.
Shaving, shower, towels, and more kisses. Tegan felt better after the hot shower and the shoulder massage she received from her wife. She sat in her bedroom waiting for her turn to have her hair and makeup done as Sara disappeared in one of the rooms with Sonia and the makeup artist.
She went to the bathroom frequently. During one of her visits she spotted Sara, gasping at the woman she almost didn't recognize.
"Wha…" Sara smiled nervously. Her smoky eyes were big and penetrating. "Fuck," Tegan hissed. Sara's hair was short again. Tegan felt like she was meeting a new version of her wife; a version she had once known a few years ago and never imagined she'd meet again. "Sara….you…" She looked at the older woman up and down. The dress hugged her body and still hid every detail possible. Tegan wanted her badly. She wanted to touch her. She hadn't thought about how much she missed her before. "You're so beautiful."
"You like it?" Sara asked, confidence stripped out of her system, yet she remained alluring. Tegan nodded quickly. "My hair?"
"I fucking love it." Tegan put two hands behind her lover's back, pulling her closely, only the large belly separating them. "You look so sexy," Tegan whispered. "Like my sexy professor. Remember her?" Sara giggled. "I wanna fuck you right now." Tegan wanted her and she had never wanted someone as much as she did her in that moment. "Let me fuck you, Sar," she rasped. Sara was enjoying it. She squirmed and giggled. Tegan's hand reached down her dress and pulled it up.
"Tee," Sara squealed. "No." She giggled.
"Please." The dress was going up and up. "Let me see your pussy at least. Let me kiss it." She knew very well her wife was getting turned on. Her features softened and her eyes got smaller and smaller.
"No, Tee." Sara pushed the hand that pulled her dress up. "Not here," she whispered. "Your mum is in that room." Sara pointed at the closed door behind her.
"So what? We're married. Let's go to my room." Tegan kissed her jaw, losing control of herself. "Please, Sara."
"Tonight, I promise," Sara said. "Not now. It's your turn. You have to go get ready." Tegan kissed again. "I promise tonight."
"I'll be tired and I'll fall asleep when we get back tonight."
And maybe that's what Sara wanted, but she didn't voice it.
Tegan loved the final result of how she looked. Both she and Sara stared at her well-hidden pregnancy beneath the suit. If she sat, the bump would be as pronounced as ever; but as she stood up, it didn't look as bad as she perceived it.
They took a family picture with Sonia and Stephen before they headed down to the church for the wedding ceremony. Grandma's eyes never stopped scanning them. The aunts, the uncles, and the cousins whispered and smiled wickedly. When it was time for the wedding party, each person Sara was told about came to say hi to her and her wife. She could see why Tegan didn't like her father's family in particular. Sonia was too cold to all of them, spreading fake smiles and quickly rolling her eyes when she thought nobody could see her.
"I wanna fuck you," Tegan whispered at one point while they were eating. Sara almost choked on the water her wife forced her to have instead of wine. "Solidarity, bitch," Tegan had said.
"Tee," Sara coughed a bit. "Not here." Stephen and Sonia were sitting at the same table.
Tegan laughed cunningly.
"What's going on?" Sonia questioned.
"Nothing," Tegan said. "I told her she looked sexy but she's a shy prude." Tegan wiggled her eyebrows.
When the music played, the babies inside Tegan's womb kicked harder than ever. Sara put her hand next to Tegan's to feel the kicks. While they laughed and talked about it, she noticed a lot of people staring at them. Tegan kissed her wife just to piss them off. Sara was caught by surprise but she didn't pull away. When they finally did, Margot's eyes were spewing venom towards them.
"Bitch," Tegan whispered. "And a witch." Sara giggled. "I'm not kidding. One time when I was young, during Halloween, she dressed up as a witch and I had nightmares for two weeks because I actually thought she was an evil witch." Sara guffawed.
"Yeah and she wet her pants for those two weeks each night," Sonia said. "Always in our bed."
"I'm learning many things to blackmail you with."
"Shut up, you wet your pants when you were sixteen during a sleepover with your best friend." Sara gasped and Tegan smirked.
"Tegan, how's your heartbeat?" asked Stephen with a concerned look on his face.
"The usual, dad." Tegan shrugged. "Nothing out of the ordinary. It's just they're kicking too much because of the music."
"They always do that when we play some music loudly," Sara added.
"They're dancing inside," Sonia commented.
It was late when they got home, and Sara expected Tegan to be tired and sleepy but Tegan was more than ready to have sex as she was promised.
They were both in their pajamas, faces fresh and teeth brushed.
"Come on," Tegan whispered.
It started out with a soft kiss which Tegan had initiated. Sara's fear and anxiety rose but she tried her best to suppress it. She let herself fall between her lover's arms. Tegan kissed and caressed to get her in the mood and, slowly, she started to relax. The room was a bit cold despite the heat her wife felt. She shivered once she was stripped off her clothes. Tegan did her best to enhance her body heat. She kissed her neck and licked all the soft and tender spots above her upper chest until she started whimpering. Her breast was caught between her lover's lips as she sucked and bit and licked, making her clit pound for more. She smiled when she felt the heat dancing in her core.
"I wanna eat you out but I don't think I can do that so I'm gonna rub and finger you, okay?" She nodded. "Look what I got." Through the darkness of the room, Sara could see the bottle of lube in her wife's hand. "Stole it from mum."
"No," Sara exclaimed. "No, no." She closed her legs.
Tegan laughed loudly. "Relax. It's not for her…use." She laughed more. "So remember when she gave me a checkup at her clinic the other day?" Sara nodded, she was there. "Yeah, I found a lot of options and took some. They get her those for free, can you believe it?"
"Oh."
"It's not for medical use. That's for sex. They just, you know, get those things, the company she deals with I guess." Tegan shrugged.
"Alright." Sara took a deep breath and spread her legs again. Tegan whistled. "You're becoming Ralph." Tegan laughed.
"Yes, Martha." Tegan stroked her wife's stomach, easing the tension. "One of us has to be a Ralph." The problem was Sara had to sit up because Tegan couldn't lie on top of her. Usually this position was not comfortable for her.
Tegan noticed the tension but didn't want to question it. It's been too long so she partially understood the reason behind it. More touches and more kisses before touching the tender flesh. She was surprised by the lack of arousal she was met with. She took a deep breath and leaned down to kiss and fondle.
A finger rubbed the clit and one inspected the wetness. Nothing was there. Lube was then used. Consent was given.
"You like my boobs, I'll show them so you can get into it more." She pulled her shirt up and took Sara's hand, making them play with her breasts. It hurt but she didn't mind it at that moment. "Umm…if my tummy's making you disgusted, try to…uh…I mean don't look at it."
"No, it isn't," Sara whispered.
Sara played with her wife's nipples. She squeezed the breasts and wished she could take them in mouth. She was aroused but not wet. She hated that. More lube was used because she wanted to be fucked. She told her wife that. Tegan didn't hesitate but didn't rush. She started with a finger and rubbed to increase the feeling. Sara closed her eyes and convinced her body that she could do it. She slouched a bit and spread her legs as widely as she could.
A second finger was plunged in and her nipple was also taken inside Tegan's wet lips. She moaned softly, the gentle sound made Tegan thrust quicker. Tegan's arousal made her weak. Her body was doing the work for her. Her hand moved on its own and her lips lost control, biting onto the tight nipple for a second then licking it the next. She pushed her other hand inside her shorts and started rubbing herself.
Suddenly a kick interrupted her, then another, and another. With every kick she gasped. With every gasp she pushed harder until Sara escaped a loud cry of pain. A rough hand pulled hers away. Sara's head hit the headboard. She closed her legs and raised them up. She squeezed her eyes shut while tears ran past them.
"Shit," she said. "I'm so sorry." Tegan wasn't sure of what she had done. Was she that quick? Did she push too hard? The kicks were unusual and very strong. "I…they kicked me in a weird way and I…"
"It's fine, it's fine." Sara wiped her tears and opened her eyes. "Didn't you notice I was barely wet?" Tegan didn't answer, guilt and shame making their way to her eyes; tears were the outcome. "Don't cry." Sara said, wrapping an arm around her. "I should tell you something."
"Are you sick?" Tegan said loudly.
"No, no." Sara pulled the duvet to cover herself. Tegan put on her shirt quickly. "I'm on medication. Antidepressants."
"What?"
"I'm sorry. I didn't…I didn't want to add to the bad news we were receiving. I have clinical depression. I was diagnosed three days before we came here. I got my prescription quickly and I just didn't wanna talk about it."
Tegan nodded. No, she didn't get it. Sara never learned. Sharing was just not part of her nature. She was too secretive all the time. Even when they agreed to share the burdens, Tegan was the only one to sign the silent contract. Sara never participated.
"Those meds kill my libido and it's already dead. That's why it's been too hard for me."
"Okay, Sara." Tegan sighed. "I'll go pee. We should sleep."
Tegan cried in the bathroom. She sat there and waited for the kicks to come to a stop. She waited to see if something abnormal was going to happen. She didn't feel anything. Her heart was racing, though. She washed her face and went to the room. Sara was asleep.
When she woke up in the morning, Sara was not by her side. She had to pee and it was cold. She ran to the bathroom and when she left, she noticed that nobody was in the house. She put on some socks and a hoodie then headed downstairs. A paper was on the fridge.
"Took Sara to the clinic. Will be back soon."
She gasped, searching for her phone. Her heart raced and her head spun. She was out of breath when Sara picked up.
"What's going on?"
"Umm…I'll tell you when I'm home. We're on our way back."
"Oh. Okay."
She felt irresponsible and selfish. How come she hadn't heard Sara leaving the bed or getting dressed? What happened?
She waited impatiently with a gurgling stomach. The half an hour felt like three days of waiting. When she finally heard the front door opening, she took a deep breath and got up. She wished she could walk quickly but she felt too dizzy.
"What happened?" she said with a pale complexion.
Her wife, too, shared the same paleness.
"I woke up at like seven and I saw…some blood and I just lost it. I was sore. I thought…I thought it was back. Your mum was already up and she insisted to drive me to the doctor." Her face was red now. Her eyes were small. Her voice was weak.
Tegan looked at her mother, who was staring at her phone. "And?"
"Um…you scratched me last night when…" She hesitated. Somehow her voice got weaker and her eyes got droopier.
Sonia looked up from her phone. "Girls, can we please agree that sex should be postponed till you're both in a better physical and mental state?"
Sara was stiff as ice, not giving a nod or a reaction. Tegan nodded. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "Sare…"
"I haven't gotten much sleep. I'll go rest. Thank you, Sonia."
Sara went upstairs to cry. Tegan knew that. She followed and heard her cry. She didn't know what to say.
"I'm embarrassed," Sara said. "I'm ashamed and embarrassed and I feel like my privacy had been toyed with, Tegan."
"I'm sorry," Tegan apologized. "I pushed you. I'm very sorry."
"It's not about that." Sara cried more. "I just don't feel comfortable around them and I had to go there and ask her why I was bleeding."
"It's….it's normal. If it was your mum I wouldn't be embarrassed."
"Yes, you would," Sara shouted. Tegan shuddered. Sara had never raised her voice like that. "You know too well you would," she said in a calmer tone. "I just want to go home."
"I'm sorry," Tegan apologized. "If you want to go home, I won't stop you."
Like two fiery globes amidst a dark sky, Sara's eyes stung when they narrowed in front of her. How ridiculous was her suggestion! Sara shook her head with a grimace. "That's not what I meant," Sara spewed.
"I know, but you know that I can't go home right now."
"I know," Sara said dryly. "It was a wish. Just a wish."
The sun and the moon did not shine at the same time; the couple took solace in isolation and pondering. They had to think where they went from there. Both rested in bed for a whole day but none spoke a word. They never looked at each other's directions. Tegan's heart celebrated an anthem of anxiety while Sara's was soft and tranquil, numbed enough with the pills she had taken. The only sounds they could hear came from inside their skulls and the only movement present in the room was the vehement one happening inside of Tegan's womb.
Dinner was served in bed. Tegan served it and Sara barely ate. Trips to the bathroom were frequent. When the lights were off, Tegan realized she couldn't end the day the way it had started.
"Sare," she tried. "My love?" she used words she had never attempted before.
To her surprise, Sara's words were even sweeter. "Yes, babe?" She smiled in the dark. "You're okay?"
"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm really sorry I pushed you to have sex and hurt you through it. I'm sorry I said those words earlier. I feel selfish."
A gentle arm made its way towards her. The grip was full of passion and longing. She felt Sara's hot breaths on her cheek. She faced the woman and kissed her quickly. Sara had been crying; she concluded. She tasted the salty tears before wiping her lover's eyes. She could barely see a thing but her imagination gave her details.
"Are you hurt? I'm sorry I scratched you. My nails weren't long, but I felt a really sharp kick that I…did that…I didn't notice I dug there…or scratched…"
"What was the kick like?" Sara interrupted? "How sharp?"
"It was so strange. It happened three times in a row and it was painful."
"Like period cramps?" Tegan thought for a bit then nodded, but Sara couldn't see it.
"Kind of."
"Shit." Sara took a deep breath. "You're still having them?"
"No. They didn't happen again."
"We have to check in the morning."
"Why?"
"They might be contractions. You might be close to labor." Sara was entering the state of panic. Tegan stopped the trembling feet next to hers with her own.
"Relax," Tegan whispered. "We'll check in the morning. It's probably like those false alarms, but we'll check. Plus, nothing happened today."
"I'm sorry," Sara said, too.
"For what?"
"Not checking up on you during that moment. I was in too much pain." Sara sighed. "And for not telling you about the antidepressants. I'm sorry I keep hiding. I'm sorry I hide my mother and my life."
"I'm part of your life now and I want to be involved."
"I know."
The hold made them warm. With a hand around her lover and one beside the pregnancy pillow, she was able to peck the warm forehead opposite to hers. "I'm gonna do everything you want me to do," she promised.
"I just want you to get used to me and this family." While Tegan's hand was on the swollen belly, Sara's hadn't touched it. "It's time we…we stop this…the thing we always do. We always fight like kids about silly things and I know I'm mostly to blame but…but now we're gonna have two people involved…they're gonna be involved in those fights and it won't look…nice in front of them, right?"
"Right," Sara said. Her much younger wife had made a good point and she had to accept it. "You're totally right." Sara sighed. "I'll be honest with you, I still have the same fear I came here with. It won't go away until I see the three of you safe and healthy…so it's hard for me to, you know, accept the fact we won't be two forever."
"I understand that." Conversation was actually nice, Sara thought. She was glad her wife approached her. At least one of them wasn't as stubborn as the other. It seemed to her that one of them was even more understanding and way more mature than she had been. "I won't force you to do anything you're not comfortable with again," Tegan said.
"You didn't force me," Sara whispered. "It's my fault I was hiding what was wrong from you." She yawned.
"You're good now, though," Tegan said. "Right?"
"I am better," Sara confirmed.