SEQ. 4.1 (SIMBA/NALA)
EXT. A SHELTERED AREA OF PRIDE ROCK - MINUTES LATER
Lionesses lounge in the shade. Sarabi is nearby on a small rock. We find a cute little cub, NALA, being given a bath (a cat kind of bath) by her mom, SARAFINA. Nala is not enjoying the experience as her mother's tongue more or less rearranges her face.
"That was you, Mom?" Kion asked. "Yes, Kion, that's me." Nala replied.
Simba trots in.
"And here comes Simba, right on cue." Surak joked.
SIMBA:
Hey, Nala!
NALA:
flatly
Hi, Simba.
SIMBA:
Come on! I just heard about this great place!
NALA:
I'm kind of in the middle of a bath.
"We can see that." Zira quipped sarcastically.
SARABI (O.S.)
And it's time for yours.
Sarabi picks up Simba by the scruff and lifts him up to the ledge she is on. She starts to lick/bathe him. He protests.
Everyone laughs while Simba's face once again goes red.
SIMBA:
Mo-om!
He tries to wriggle free.
SARABI:
Would you hold still?
SIMBA:
Mom, you're messing up my mane!
"Not much of a mane." Mzingo commented.
Sarabi continues to bathe him, cat-style. He reacts.
SIMBA:
Eww - Yuck!
He wriggles free and falls off to the ground below. He stands up and gives himself a quick clean-up once-over, finishing up with his armpits.
"You never liked baths, did you?" Dusty said.
SIMBA:
Okay, okay. I'm clean.
then
Can we go now?
NALA:
Where are we going, anyway? It better not be any place lame.
SIMBA:
No, it's really cool.
SARABI:
So where is this "really cool" place?
"Uh-oh. You're gonna get busted." Cheezi whimpered.
SIMBA:
Oh -
lying
around the waterhole.
"Nice save." Ullu chirped.
NALA:
unimpressed
The waterhole? What's so great about the waterhole-?
Trying to stake her take the bait.
"Now I know it wasn't the waterhole." Sarabi gave her son a look, and he chuckled nervously.
SIMBA:
thru teeth
I'll show you when we get there.
NALA:
getting it
Ohhhh.
to Sarafina
Mom, can I go?
Sarafina looks to Sarabi for the verdict.
SARAFINA:
Hmm. What do you think, Sarabi?
SARABI:
Well -
SIMBA/NALA
thru cheesy grins
Pleeeease?
"You can't resist a cub's adorableness, let alone two cubs." Ananda smiled. "I know, right?" Sarafina replied.
SARABI:
It's alright with me -
Simba and Nala make a break for it.
SARABI:
As long as Zazu goes with you.
Simba and Nala freeze in their tracks, crestfallen.
"There goes your plan." Ono said, dejected. 'That's what you think, Ono." Spirit smirked.
SIMBA:
Not Zazu.
DISSOLVE TO:
SEQ. 4.2 ("CAN'T WAIT TO BE KING")
EXT. A PLAIN - A SHORT TIME LATER
Zazu flaps on ahead of the two cubs, calling back:
ZAZU:
Step lively! The sooner we get to the waterhole, the sooner we can leave!
"Except they're not going to the watering hole." Madoa pointed out. "Thank you, miss obvious." Nuka retorted.
WITH SIMBA AND NALA
NALA:
So where're we really goin'?
SIMBA:
on the Q.T.
An elephant graveyard.
NALA:
Wow!
SIMBA:
Shhh -
indicating
Zazu -
NALA:
Right. How're we gonna ditch the dodo?
'I'm a hornbill, not a dodo!" Zazu huffed. "Sure, dodo." Makucha taunted.
Simba raises an eyebrow, then grins and leans in to huddle. We hear the sounds of their conspiratorial WHISPERING:
"What're you guys planning?" Rani asked. "Haha, you'll see.." Dusty replied.
Zazu sees them tete-a-tete and flies to them.
ZAZU:
Just look at you two! Little seeds of romance blossoming in the savannah! Your parents will be thrilled. What with your being betrothed and all.
SIMBA:
Be-what?
ZAZU:
You and Nala are betrothed! Intended! Affianced!
Simba and Nala look at each other, shrugging a "Huh?"
NALA:
Meaning-?
ZAZU:
One day you two are going to be married!
SIMBA:
Yuck!
NALA:
Eeuwww!
SIMBA:
I can't marry her. She's my friend.
NALA:
Yeah. It'd be too weird.
"Well you still did, so something had to happen." Tiifu said.
ZAZU:
Sorry to bust your bubble, but you two turtle doves have no choice. It's a tradition going back generations.
"And I am glad you got rid of it." Kiara stated. "Same here." Kion added.
SIMBA:
Well, when I'm king, that'll be the first thing to go.
ZAZU:
Not so long as I'm around.
SIMBA:
In that case, you're fired.
Everyone chuckled.
ZAZU:
Nice try. But only the king can do that.
NALA:
Well, he's the future king.
SIMBA:
So you have to do what I tell you!
ZAZU:
Not yet, I don't, you puny puff of pre-pubescent fuzz. And with an attitude like that, I'm afraid you will be a pretty pathetic king, indeed!
"You were saying, Zazu?" Simba smirked. Said hornbill just rolled his eyes.
SIMBA:
Not the way I see it!
Simba pounces Zazu playfully
SIMBA:
I'M GONNA BE A MIGHTY KING SO ENEMIES BEWARE!
Zazu jumps backwards up onto a log and falls into a knot-hole
ZAZU:
I'VE NEVER SEEN A KING OF BEASTS WITH QUITE SO LITTLE HAIR!
"Well, that didn't age well." Fuli commented, gesturing to Simba's flowing fiery mane.
Zazu plucks a hair from Simba's nonexistent mane
Simba's head pops through a leafy bush
SIMBA:
I'M GONNA BE THE MANE EVENT LIKE NO KING WAS BEFORE, I'M BRUSHING UP ON LOOKING DOWN, I'M WORKING ON MY ROAR!
He ROARS in Zazu's face, in the process, blowing/spitting in Zazu's eye. Zazu grabs for something to blow his nose in, unaware he's tugged an elephant's ear:
"Um, that's an elephant ear." Bunga said. "Yes, thank you Bunga." Zazu grumbled.
ZAZU:
THUS FAR A RATHER UNINSPIRING THING
The elephant uses his trunk like a golf club and knocks Zazu out of frame. He bounces across a stream, like a skipping stone. A reflection of flamingos shatters and the birds burst into flight.
"Three points for the elephant!" Dusty exclaimed only to get whacked in the back of the head by Spirit.
Simba and Nala race in.
SIMBA:
OH I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO BE KING!
Zazu wades through, holding up his feathers like an old aunt holding up her skirt at the beach.
ZAZU:
talking
You've rather a long way to go, young master, if you think I'm going to stand by while you run around like a snot-nosed -
Simba and Nala trade off making faces behind Zazu's back when Zazu turns to look at one, the other is making the rude face. He finally catches them in the act. They run circles around the old bird and leave him behind in a puddle.
Everyone tried unsuccessfully to hold in snickers.
SIMBA:
singing
NO-ONE SAYING DO THIS -
ZAZU:
speaking
When I said that I -
NALA:
NO-ONE SAYING BE THERE
What I scant was that the -
SIMBA:
NO-ONE SAYING STOP THAT -
What you don't realise is that sometimes -
NO-ONE SAYING SEE HERE -
Now see here!
FREE TO RUN AROUND ALL DAY -
That's definitely out!
FREE TO DO IT ALL MY WAY!
"Being king isn't all like that, now is it?" Mufasa raised an eyebrow as Simba blushed.
Zazu ducks to avoid an ostrich running through frame. Simba and Nala ride ostriches that run away from Zazu.
He flies off, reaching the ostrich-riding cubs, and while flying backwards, talks in their face:
ZAZU:
I THINK IT'S TIME THAT YOU AND I ARRANGED A HEART TO HEART
He CRASHES into a rhino rump and is flattened. The kids race by:
"Maybe next time watch where you're flying?" Anga suggested. "Duly noted." Zazu groaned.
NALA:
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORNBILLS FOR A START.
Zazu falls to the ground and sits on a little perch unaware that he is floating on a log down a stream, headed for a waterfall:
ZAZU:
IF THIS IS WHERE THE MONARCHY IS HEADED, COUNT ME OUT OF SERVICE, OUT OF AFRICA, I WOULDN'T HANG ABOUT!
Zazu disappears over the waterfall. He flies back up, irked:
ZAZU:
THIS CHILD IS GETTING WILDLY OUT OF WING!
"Really? You don't say." Janja sarcastically said.
Zebra stripes fill the screen.
SIMBA:
OH I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO BE KING!
Simba and Nala are saluted by two lines of Zebras. Zazu cones flapping after them, and the Zebras and trap him between their legs.
"Be glad they didn't poop on you!" Baliyo said cheekily. "Baliyo!" Rani and Ananda scolded him. "What?" he asked.
Simba and Nala zip in and out of animals' legs. Zazu tries to catch them. Their heads pop in and out from behind the animal legs.
Simba stands on a giraffe's head. He orders the animals. They obey. Zazu gets caught underfoot.
SIMBA:
singing
EVERYBODY LOOK LEFT -
ZAZU:
screaming
Aaaaaaa...eek!
"Hahaha! I'm sorry, but this is hilarious!" Sahasi exclaimed as everyone laughed. "Even I have to agree." Janna added.
EVERYBODY LOOK RIGHT
Oooooo...Ow!
EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK I'M -
Giraffes stand in a semi-circle. Simba steps from head to head like he's moving across stepping stones.
Now it's a cacophony of animal movement, all building African "Bushy" Berkley style until Zazu gets caught between two animals' rear ends.
SIMBA:
singing
STANDING IN THE SPOTLIGHT!
ZAZU:
screaming
Not yet!
Simba whispers to a hippo, who whispers to a giraffe, who whispers to a monkey:
SIMBA:
Ditch the Dodo.
Zazu gets nabbed by the monkeys, and take him up into a tree.
Alligators open their mouths, revealing the birds inside are singing.
"How are those birds not hurt?" Questioned Zuri.
ANIMAL CHORUS:
LET EVERY CREATURE GO FOR BROKE AND SING! LET'S HEAR IT IN THE HERD AND ON THE WING! IT'S GONNA BE KING SIMBA'S FINEST FLING!
Giraffes toss Simba and Nala into the air "Beach Blanket Bingo"-style.
"That looks fun!" Dogo exclaims. "Yeah, it does!" Kijana agreed.
Zazu is being held captive by a monkey family.
Simba and Nala are at the top of a '40s-style sculptured stack of animals. Poor Zazu is supporting the whole mass. He can't balance any longer. The sculpture starts to wobble, sending Simba and Nala flying.
SIMBA:
OH I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO BE KING!
Finally free of Zazu, Simba and Nala make their break for it, as the tower of animals tumbles.
SIMBA:
OH I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO BE KING!
All that remains is one very plump rhino. From below it WE HEAR:
ZAZU (V.O.)
I beg your pardon, Madam. Get off!
meekly
Simba? Nala?
"Well, he's the butt of that joke!" Dusty said, causing everyone to laugh.
I enjoyed writing this chapter. Somebody guessed Hercules for the mystery character, and no it's not him. It's a lion king character, but he's not exactly canon so to speak. Before anyone asks, he's not another OC. I hope you enjoyed this!