Chapter 30 and the start of TLK 1½! Enjoy!
"Okay everyone, the next one is, as promised, about Timon and Pumbaa." Spirit announced, making the duo do a happy dance in their spots. "Specifically about how they met and became friends, as well as their point of view on some of the events of the first story." Dusty added. "So without further ado, let's take an intimate look at the story within the story." Spirit stated cryptically before pressing play.
The sun rises, turning the sky from black to red.
LEBO M:
NANTS INGONYAMA BAGITHI BABA. SITHI UHM INGONYAMA. INGONYAMA. [Various animals, including a rhino, several topi, and a colony of meerkats, lift their heads in the direction of the sun.] NANTS INGONYAMA BAGITHI BABA.
"Didn't we watch this already?" Fuli asks in confusion. "Just wait for it." Dusty smirked.
TIMON:
[from offscreen, in time with Lebo M] WHAT'S ON THE MENU? IT COULD BE CEVICHE. [A cheetah pauses on the edge of a ridge, tail lashing.] STINKY-OO. IT'S PUMBAA.
Storks walk through a shallow body of water, look at one another, then take to the air.
Many animals winced at the high notes. "Ugh, someone's pitchy." Mama Binturong groaned, rubbing her ears.
LEBO M:
[in the background] SITHI UHM INGONYAMA. INGONYAMA.
PUMBAA:
[from offscreen] I gotta tell you, Timon. That song always gets me right here.
TIMON:
[from offscreen] Yeah, Pumbaa? Well, enough of that.
Timon's hand comes into view. He is holding a remote, which he clicks. The movie starts to rapidly fast forward. Timon and Pumbaa's silhouettes are seen sitting in a theater.
"What in the Pride Lands?" Kion asked, confused.
PUMBAA:
Uh, Timon... What are you doin'?
TIMON:
I'm fast-forwarding to the part where we come in.
PUMBAA:
But you can't go out of order!
"He's got a point there." Smun piped up.
Timon clicks the remote. The movie starts playing at the scene in which Simba, Timon, and Pumbaa cross a log.
TIMON:
Au contraire, my porcine pal. [Timon waggles the remote.] I've got the remote!
PUMBAA:
But everyone's gonna get confused! [Pumbaa grabs a remote.] We gotta go back to the beginning of the story.
"It's best to start at the start of the story." Rafiki chuckled.
Pumbaa lifts and clicks his remote. The movie starts to rewind. Timon stands.
TIMON:
We're not in the beginning of the story!
PUMBAA:
Yes, we were! The whole time.
"No, they weren't. They didn't show up until after Mufasa died." Tiifu spoke up. "Uh, actually we were there. I don't think Spirit and Dusty are gonna let us explain." Pumbaa replied.
Pumbaa clicks his remote. The movie pauses on a frame of Timon standing with his mouth open.
TIMON:
Ah! [The movie starts to rewind slower.] Yeah, but they don't know that.
Timon clicks his remote. The movie pauses on a frame of Nala pinning Simba. The movie starts to rewind.
PUMBAA:
Then why don't we tell them our story?
Pumbaa clicks his remote. The movie pauses on a frame of the hyena trio cackling. Timon and Pumbaa leap into the air.
Uncle Max screamed along with the duo and hid in Pumbaa's hair.
TIMON AND PUMBAA:
*scream*
Timon and Pumbaa hide on the floor. They emerge slowly.
TIMON:
Hey! I've got an idea. Why don't we tell 'em our story?
"Pumbaa literally just said that." Baliyo spoke.
Pumbaa nods emphatically.
PUMBAA:
Oh! I like the sound of that.
Timon holds his chin thoughtfully.
TIMON:
A little backstage tour. Take 'em behind the scenes for a [Timon strokes his chin.] revealing and intimate look at the story within the story!
"That sounds interesting. I'm guessing that's what we'll be seeing?" Zuri asked. "Yes." Timon replied.
PUMBAA:
'Cause what they don't know is how we really were there, even though they didn't know we were there, y'know?
"Uh, what?" Cheezi tilted his head in confusion.
TIMON:
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Timon clicks his remote. The movie starts to rewind.
PUMBAA:
So, does this mean we're going back to the beginning?
Timon clicks the remote. The movie plays the opening "Circle of Life" chant, but continues to rewind.
TIMON:
Oh, no, Pumbaa. No. [Timon gestures dramatically.] We're going way back...to before the beginning.
"Before the beginning? That doesn't make any sense." Zazu questioned.
Timon lifts his hands dramatically. The title card appears with cracks in the screen, then shatters like glass to reveal Pride Rock in the day.
PUMBAA:
[from offscreen] Pride Rock.
The angle changes to a view of Pride Rock from above.
"Ah, home sweet home. I really missed it." Kopa sighed.
TIMON:
[from offscreen] So majestic.
The angle changes to a view of Pride Rock from below the promontory.
PUMBAA:
[from offscreen] So powerful.
The angle changes to a view of Pride Rock from its left side.
TIMON:
[from offscreen] So...bizarrely named. [Timon clicks his remote, and the movie pauses. He faces Pumbaa.] Pumbaa, how can a rock be proud? It's a rock!
"It is named because it has been the home of both the pride and the royal family since the time of the first king- my brother Mfalme." Askari responded.
PUMBAA:
Well, I think it's because a "pride" is what they call a group of lions.
TIMON:
Oh, sure, the lions get Pride Rock. And what about us meerkats? [Timon jerks a thumb at himself.] Where I come from, we didn't have nothin' to be proud of. Why... *clears throat* WHEN I WAS A YOUNG [Timon lifts his arms into the air.] MEERKAT…
PUMBAA:
WHEN HE WAS A YOUNG MEERKAT!
Many animals once again winced at Pumbaa's high notes. "Yeesh, that warthog sure has a set of lungs on him." Janja grumbled, rubbing his ears.
The force of Pumbaa's voice blows Timon out of his seat.
TIMON:
[from offscreen] Very nice.
PUMBAA:
Thanks!
Timon climbs back into his seat.
TIMON:
But maybe it'd be safer if I just show 'em where I came from.
"We're gonna see where Timon comes from?" Makini asked. "It's probably just some hole in the ground." Nuka snarked. "You aren't far off, actually." Timon replied.
PUMBAA:
Oh, boy! Do we get to see where you grew up?
Timon slumps his shoulders.
TIMON:
Yeah, Pumbaa, but it ain't pretty. [Timon sullenly lifts the remote and clicks it. The movie resumes. Timon's voice is heard over the footage.] Please remain seated while the camera is in motion.
The camera pans out rapidly from Pride Rock, passing multiple animals and locations, including the Elephant Graveyard, Rafiki's tree, and the gorge. It stops in an empty barren field.
"Zuka zama! It's like riding Fuli backwards!" Bunga exclaimed.
TIMON:
[from offscreen] Here we are. [A tumbleweed blows by.] From Pride Rock to the pit of shame. We're so low on the food chain, we're underground!
CHORUS:
[in the background] SEMON PUTE!
TIMON:
[from offscreen] But you don't have to take my word for it. I'll just let my fellow meerkats do the talking.
"What does he mean by that?" Smun questioned.
A meerkat emerges from a hole in the ground.
MEERKAT:
WHAT WAS THAT?
Several meerkats emerge from holes in the ground.
MEERKATS:
WHAT WAS WHAT?
Several meerkats emerge from holes in the ground.
"That's a lot of meerkats." Sahasi marveled. "You don't say, brother." Surak teased. The older lion punched the younger's shoulder, and the two started messing about back and forth, culminating in Sahasi giving Surak a noogie. He pushed him off, and the tussling continued for a moment. "Boys." Janna called, making them stop in a perfect freeze-frame. "Behave, you two." She warned. All three settled back down after that, smiling at being able to do that again.
MEERKATS:
WHAT WAS THAT? [Several meerkats emerge from holes in the ground.] WHAT WAS THAT? [More and more meerkats emerge.] WHERE? WHAT? WHERE? WHERE? WHAT WAS THAT? Shhh!
The meerkats look left, then right. Still more meerkats stand on nearby rocks as sentries.
QUICK, BEFORE THE HYENA COME.
MEERKAT SENTRY:
Clear!
The meerkats duck back underground and start digging tunnels.
MEERKATS:
DIGGA TUNNAH, DIG, DIGGA TUNNAH. [The meerkats crisscross their tunnels.] WHEN YOU'RE DONE, YA DIGGA BIGGER TUNNAH.
"Look at them go!" Binga cheered. "Impressive." Sarafina added.
The meerkats all begin digging downward so their tunnels run parallel.
DIGGA TUNNAH, DIG, DIGGA TUNNAH. [Below ground, the colony carries small rocks through a tunnel.] QUICK, BEFORE THE HYENA COME. DIG! DIGGA TUNNAH, DIG, DIGGA TUNNAH.
Several meerkats dig down into an open tunnel, then tunnel into the floor.
YOU COULD DIG AND NEVER GET DONE. DIGGA TUNNAH, DIG, DIGGA TUNNAH.
Several meerkats stick their heads into the tunnel.
WHAT WAS THAT? [The meerkats look right, then left, then forward.] QUICK, BEFORE THE HYENA COME. DIG! [Several meerkats march single-file into the tunnel.] DIGGA TUNNAH IS WHAT WE DO. [The meerkats begin passing rocks down a line.] LIFE'S A TUNNAH. WE'RE DIGGIN' THROUGH. [Several meerkats stick their heads through holes in the tunnel wall.]
"I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole! Diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole! I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole! Diggy diggy hole, digging a hole!" Dusty sang, making Spirit giggle.
DIGGA TUNNAH IS WHAT WE SING. [A line of meerkats carrying a stick marches by.] DIGGA TUNNAH IS EVERYTHING.
Several lines of meerkats carrying sticks approach a wall of the tunnel.
MUD AND CLAY IS A MEERKAT'S FRIEND. [The meerkats prop the sticks against the floor and ceiling.] ALWAYS MORE AROUND EVERY BEND.
Several meerkats dance out of slits in the tunnel wall.
AND WHEN YOU GET TO YOUR TUNNAH'S END, HALLELUJAH! LET'S DIG AGAIN! [The meerkats splay their fingers.] DIG!
"Boring! How can they be so excited and sing and dance about digging all day?" Chuluun heckled.
Several meerkats march in place in a row.
DIGGA TUNNAH, DIG, DIGGA TUNNAH. [The meerkats pass rocks down the line.] WHEN YOU'RE DONE, YA DIGGA BIGGER TUNNAH. DIGGA TUNNAH, DIG, DIGGA TUNNAH.
Several meerkats emerge from the ground and ceiling.
WHAT WAS THAT? [The meerkats look one way, then another, then forward.] QUICK, BEFORE THE HYENA COME.
MEERKAT:
Dig!
MEERKATS:
[in the background] DIGGA TUNNAH, DIG, DIGGA TUNNAH.
Ma walks down a tunnel. Meerkats pass her, each carrying a rock.
"Oh, I'm in this one? That makes sense since it's about my Timon. I hope it shows me stepping on that monkey's-" Ma spoke excitedly but was cut off by Spirit. "Sorry Ma, no spoilers!"
MA:
Timon! Excuse me.
MEERKATS:
[in the background] YOU COULD DIG AND NEVER GET DONE.
MA:
Have you seen my son? Has he been through here? Timon?
MEERKATS:
[in the background] DIGGA TUNNAH, DIG, DIGGA TUNNAH.
Ma comes upon Uncle Max, who is carrying a rock.
UNCLE MAX:
DIGGA TUNNAH, DIG, DIGGA TUNNAH! DIGGA TUNNAH…
"Hey look, it's me! It's about time I showed up in this thing." Uncle Max remarked.
Ma follows Uncle Max.
MA:
Uncle Max?
Uncle Max starts, dropping his rock.
UNCLE MAX:
*screams*
Uncle Max ducks low to the ground, visibly trembling.
"Is he okay?" Surak asked. "He is, he's just easily startled and a bit paranoid." Ma explained.
MA:
Uncle Max, relax. Have you seen Timon?
Uncle Max straightens and clasps his hands.
UNCLE MAX:
No, I haven't, and what a day it's been! [Uncle Max counts off on his fingers.] No fractures, no lacerations, no concussions, [Uncle Max starts counting on his other hand.] contusions, or injuries of any sort. [Ma scowls. Uncle Max folds his arms.] As a matter of fact, there's no sign of Timon's handiwork anywhere! *cackles*
"Why is he blaming you for all the injuries?" Beshte asked. "I was never any good at tunneling. In fact, I accidentally destroyed a lot of tunnels." Timon admitted.
A massive crack forms in the tunnel ceiling above Uncle Max. His expression turns to fright before the tunnel collapses completely. When the dust clears, the tunnel is gone, and the colony is exposed to the outside and covered in dirt. In the middle of the meerkats, Timon stands with his back to the mayhem. Above him are the remains of a tunnel hole. Uncle Max, who is covered in dirt, slowly sits up.
UNCLE MAX:
That would be... [furiously] Timon!
Timon turns around.
"Whoops. My bad." Timon blushed, embarrassed by his past destruction.
TIMON:
*chuckles nervously* Hey, everybody!
The meerkats glare at Timon.
MEERKATS:
*laughs sarcastically* Nice work, Timon. Way to go, tunnel klutz. Who else could break a hole? Four in one week. A new record!
"Yikes. He really had a bad track record, didn't he?" Vitani winced. "Don't even get me started." Uncle Max snorted.
Ma, who is buried in dirt, watches the colony sadly. She looks away.
MA:
Not again…
TIMON:
What? It's called a skylight!
The remains of Timon's tunnel hole collapse. Ma walks up to Timon.
MA:
Ho, ho. Wow! [Ma dusts off Timon.] Isn't that creative? [Ma shakes Timon, who merely looks at the ground sorrowfully.] A skylight! [Ma claps.] Oh, ha, ha. [Ma grabs one of Timon's arms.] I'll just have a word with him.
Ma drags Timon away from the colony.
"Someone's in trouble." Makucha sing-songed, promptly getting hit by Makini's staff.
TIMON:
I... [Around Timon and Ma, the colony starts digging in the remains of the tunnel.] I was just trying to shed a little light on our pathetic existence.
The scene transitions to a grassy plain. Ma continues to walk side-by-side with Timon. She dusts off his side.
MA:
Timon, [Ma darts behind Timon to dust off his back.] this can't go on. Just this month, [Ma darts back to Timon's side to dust it off.] you've pulled down four walls and collapsed two tunnel exits. [Ma licks one paw and uses it to smooth down Timon's hair.] We have to look after each other. Our survival depends on it.
"Why does she keep messing with your hair?" Pumbaa asked. "I dunno. It must be a mom thing." Timon shrugged. "Can confirm." Baliyo piped up. Nala's face lit up with an idea as her eyes landed on Kopa. "Oh no." He realized. Kopa tried to bolt, but Nala quickly caught him and started grooming his mane.
"Ack! Mom! No! Stop! You're messing up my mane!" He tried to paw her away, but she didn't stop until she was satisfied. Kiara, Kion, and Vitani all snickered at his mussed-up mane-do. "Real funny, guys." He shook his mane back to normal as he sat down, but couldn't help smiling to himself as he'd missed his mom doing that.
Ma continues to smooth down Timon's hair.
TIMON:
What's the point? All we do is dig so we can hide and hide so we can dig. [Ma stops combing Timon's hair, which immediately poofs up. He glares up at it with one eye closed. Then he holds his head with both hands.] I wanna be where we don't have to dig tunnels and [Timon strides away from Ma.] live with our heads stuck in the sand. [Timon parts some nearby grass.] What's so bad about dreaming of a better home?
"There's nothing bad about that." Vitani spoke. "Yeah, especially if your current one's full of termites!" Nuka added, furiously scratching himself.
Ma joins Timon, who is overlooking the open savanna.
MA:
I wanna show you something. [Ma looks out over the savanna.] Look, Timon. [Ma uses one paw to angle Timon's head toward the savanna.] Go on, look. Look out to the horizon, [The camera slowly pans out to reveal the Pride Lands in all its glory.] past the trees, over the grasslands. [Timon stares in awe and grins.] Everything the light touches...belongs to someone else!
"Namely us." Scar quipped.
Timon's expression turns to confusion, then annoyance. The grass falls back into place, hiding him from view.
TIMON:
[from offscreen] Funny. I thought you were going a whole different direction with this.
"You meant like how we do the 'everything the light touches' speech?" Kiara asked. "Kinda, yeah." Timon admitted, scratching the back of his neck.
Ma leads Timon away from the grass.
MA:
What can I say? It's nature's design.
Uncle Max pokes his head through some nearby grass, causing Timon and Ma to pull up short.
UNCLE MAX:
She's right! [Uncle Max shakes Timon.] We're food for other animals. [Uncle Max swings Timon back and forth as he looks from left to right.] A moveable feast. [Uncle Max hugs Timon close.] Feared by no one and eaten by all!
TIMON:
But when they die, they become the grass. And we eat the grass...right?
"I thought they ate bugs." Chungu questioned.
UNCLE MAX:
Not exactly. We can't digest grass. We're grass intolerant.
Ma approaches and pulls Timon out of Uncle Max's grip.
MA:
Okay, Max.
Uncle Max nibbles at his fingernails.
UNCLE MAX:
*whimpers*
MA:
Thank you. You've been a big help. [to Timon] Honey, I–
Uncle Max erupts from the grass in front of Timon and Ma, halting them in their tracks.
UNCLE MAX:
Meerkat! It's what's for dinner!
Several animals yelped at the jump-out.
Ma darts in front of Timon and points accusingly at Uncle Max.
MA:
Thank you, Uncle Max!
UNCLE MAX:
Ugh.
Uncle Max disappears into the grass.
TIMON:
I think Uncle Max [Timon makes the sign for "crazy."] dislodged one too many rocks with his skull.
"I think he might be right on that." Spirit whispered to her brother.
Ma steps in front of Timon.
MA:
But he's right, Timon. [Ma licks one paw and uses it to smooth down Timon's hair.] Oh, I just [Ma squashes a nearby flying insect in her paws and uses it on Timon's hair like it's gel.] know there's a way for you to fit in here.
Timon looks up pitifully with his hair smoothed down. A single strand flicks up.
"Nice hairdo, peabrain." Reirei taunted, getting hit by Rafiki.
TIMON:
*sighs*
UNCLE MAX:
[from offscreen] All right. Who's on sentry duty?
Ma thinks for a moment. Then her face lights up.
"She's gonna have you try to be a sentry, isn't she? And I'm guessing it didn't go so well?" Sarabi guessed. "Yes and yes." Timon replied.
MA:
That's it! [Ma seizes Timon by the arms. He looks back uncertainly.] That's it! My son on sentry duty! Timon the sentry!
The scene transitions.
UNCLE MAX:
[horrified] Timon the sentry? [Ma glares at Uncle Max. Timon stands between them awkwardly.] Why don't you save the hyenas the trouble and [Uncle Max thumps his chest.] kill me now? [Uncle Max clasps his hands.] Just kill me now!
"Oh, come on! At least as a sentry he wouldn't be causing any destruction." Azaad pointed out.
TIMON:
He has a point.
Uncle Max buries his head in his hands. Ma touches Timon on the back.
MA:
All you have to do is watch for hyenas and yell if you see one. Look at Iron Joe.
"I mean, it seems simple enough." Dogo noted.
Nearby, a scraggly meerkat stands on a rock, twitching unnaturally.
IRON JOE:
Don't close your eyes! Don't look away! [Several meerkats march up to Iron Joe, pick him up, and carry him away.] Somebody's gotta guard us! Somebody's gotta protect us! *sobs*
"What's wrong with him?" Anga asked. "He's seen a lot of hyena attacks as a sentry. Nearly been eaten once or twice." Uncle Max explained.
TIMON:
Well. Now, I'm convinced.
MA:
Listen, [Ma counts off on her fingers.] it's outside, up in the breeze, under the wide, open sky. Isn't that what you want? [to Uncle Max] Or maybe you would rather have him go back on the digging crew.
Timon and Uncle Max hold up their hands. The colony is heard offscreen.
TIMON, UNCLE MAX, AND MEERKATS:
No!
"That settles that, then." Kovu quipped.
Timon, Ma, and Uncle Max turn to see the colony standing in the rubble of the tunnel with their hands raised. They lower their hands awkwardly.
MEERKAT:
*clears throat*
MA:
Good. Then we all agree. [Ma grips Timon by the shoulder.] Timon, listen to Uncle Max. [Uncle Max rolls his eyes.] He'll teach you everything you need to know. [softly] And, honey, try to make this one work.
"I'm guessing it didn't end well for you?" Simba asked. "I may have gotten a little distracted." Timon replied.
By 'distracted', he means 'broke out into a whole musical number'. See you guys next time for That's All I Need! Happy Turkey Day, everyone! (falls into food coma) Zzzz…