AN: The date for The Bad Guys 2 was just announced! And perfect timing as well in August 2025. I'll be looking forward to seeing it, but I really hope it does well since they're taking the girl squad element from the books.
Though, I'm playing devil's advocate and say that Splaarghön will appear in it. My money is on the table for that. Just as long as he is not a supernatural god or demon. We don't need more generic doomsday villains.
Just want to let everyone know that because of how long this fight scene is, it's gonna be split into two parts so the next chapter will have its ending.
Chapter 32 - Never Meet Your Villains
Webs suddenly became aware of the still silence in the room. Her earpiece refused to make another sound. All she could hear was the humming of her computer and the monitors around her. She tried pressing her earpiece. A single beep followed by nothing. She tried again. Not even a crackle.
Usually, a crackle would split her eardrum, becoming the bane of her existence. But now, it became her only reassurance for tomorrow.
"Anyone here?" she called.
She glanced back at her computer. The decryption process was still ongoing, but Webs couldn't pick up any communication at all. No messages even popped up on her screen. As the little tarantula sat there in silence, she remembered Kitty's warning.
Someone took care of the guards outside the black site.
Webs felt her energy systems going into override. It left an uneasy feeling in her stomach. She clutched her chest near her heart, feeling its rapid beat. For all she knew, she could be alone and someone on the outside would pick her off as the last one.
Her eyes scanned through the monitors. Those cameras shouldn't lie, right? At the moment, she could still see Wolf and Snake messing around in Display Room #11, Shark still presenting in Display Room #1 and Fuchsia seemingly outside in the parking lot, catching her breath. But aside from that, she couldn't spot anything else in these empty hallways.
She quickly checked the cameras that should show outside the black site.
She was met by a full black, blank background.
With a message reading 'NO FEEDBACK'.
The growing confusion continued when she caught a whiff of something awful.
"Piranha?!" she hissed. "Are you kidding me?!"
She expected a loud 'sorry' from the little fish, but there was none. Nor could she hear it from the nearby vent on the wall. She turned towards it to inspect the damage and her eyes widened. It wasn't the usual green fart smoke she knew from Piranha.
It was pink and purple smoke.
Was this a dream?
She sniffed again and nearly gagged. It reminded her of that convention's science section except it was as if someone dumped all the chemicals together. The worst burning in history, leaving only a trail of toxic fog. It was already too late for her to try blocking her mouth and invisible nose, a revolting, charcoal taste stinging her tongue.
As the purple and pink smoke continued filling the room, Webs felt dizzy. All the items in her vision moved independently, blurring in and out. She suddenly felt sleepy. She wanted to rest. Her thoughts turned into internal screams, begging her to not fall asleep. However, even thinking felt exhausting, encouraging the illusion of rest.
Slumping forward, Webs tried reaching for the wrist button that could activate her thin shield. Her only protection is to breathe in this condition. However, she couldn't move her right arm. It felt more like a doll's arm she attached to a stump.
Before she could close her eyes, she felt someone grabbing her, pulling her tiny body in a tight palm. She could feel her computer leaning against her face. As she tried to think of her current situation, she felt the sensation of being pulled away.
Once she was out from the infected security room, her energy kicked back in and Webs jolted upwards. She gasped, taking a deep breath. The mental caffeine must have kicked in the minute her head bounced against the table.
Looking up, she was greeted to see the anxious look of her savior.
"You're OK?" asked Diane.
Webs cleared her throat. "Y-Yeah. I'm alright. Seriously, what was that?!"
"I don't know," said Diane, resting her head against the vent wall. "Seems to be sleeping gas. Were you able to pick up on the others?"
On instinct, Webs pressed her earpiece. Nothing came up. "Shoot. The radio transmissions are offline!"
Oblivious to the discommunication, Shark was having the time of his life. He found some script notes crunched up from Benjamin's pocket. But he didn't need time to properly rehearse. Just a quick read-through of them and he improvised to create drama.
Every word he spoke loudly, every swing of his hammer in the air, every motion to the item on auction seemed to heighten the audience's attention. His loud and vibrant voice emphasized the weapon's unique features. And it didn't make the market boring as everybody had their eyes appealed to what they desired.
The disguised Shark was in a similar room to Display Room #11. The orange holographic doors were already deactivated, allowing the market crew to bring more weapons from the storage rooms. He was currently on a stage with a mallet in his hand, sometimes slamming the table when he didn't need to. And every time he slammed the big green button, that would pop out confetti from behind.
As Shark loudly declared more features of a large rusting missile rocket on a tray, he could sense everyone staring at each other. He could feel the tension and competition, their eyes worriedly glancing at one another. A quick investigation of who would make the offer. The longer Shark remained silent, the faster the time ticked down.
"Calling once! Calling twice!" yelled Shark, lifting the mallet upwards. "Calling three times for 15,000 dollars on this exclusive ancient nuke rocket! Only 30 seconds before this baby go boom!"
"I bid 16,000!"
"No, I bid 55,000!"
"I call for 60,000!"
"And SOLD!" exclaimed Shark, slamming the button with the mallet. "The 60,000 bid from this guy with the top hat gets the Ancient Atlantic Nuke Rocket! Absolutely safe and free of gunpowder! You can either wait or walk out with it now!"
The guy who called for 60,000 dollars (Shark had to admit it sounded like a cheap offer) bounced on his heels excitedly. He marched in front of the sour-looking crowd to admire the rocket missile carried down from the stage. He whistled loudly, attracting many of his personal guards in black and white to come forward.
"I'll take it, thank you very much!" he said, bowing down generously.
Immediately, his guards grabbed the missile rocket and tilted it over to point horizontally. Once the guards ensured they were ready to go, their leader cackled loudly and blew a raspberry at his contestants.
"Suck on it, suckers!" he yelled.
And with that, he and his guards scrambled away with the missile rocket, laughing their heads off. The crowd watched on in envy. Shark could only chuckle, finding it amusing how this resembled a bully stealing a child's lunch. And then, instant karma came when the guards accidentally bumped the rocket's tip into their leader's head.
This evoked a chain reaction through him halting and the guards crashing into him. The missile rocket comically slipped out of their tiny hands and fell off the bridge they tried escaping on. Everybody stood in stunned silence as they heard the missile fall into the pit below with a bomb whistle…
KABOOM!
Unlike Display Room #11, Display Room #1 had a pit filled with water and piranhas. Naturally, the nuke created a giant geyser for everyone to gape at. Several casually pulled out their umbrellas, shielding themselves from the rain…and the flying dead piranhas.
Shark cringed at the sight. Piranha wouldn't be happy if he saw this. The giant shark quietly leaned over to one of his partners managing the weapon market.
"Do you guys even have the OSHA compliance up to date?" Shark hissed anxiously.
"What?" said the co-manager defensively. "Of course we do! We just add new codes over the grandfathers. That and disposing them and their ways of thinking."
Shark nodded. "Oh…"
And without a split second, he went back into showman mode.
"Up nexty-next! We got a treasure that you've never seen before! It's far better-looking than the Golden Dolphin, the Eiffel Tower, the Golden Bridge! Collected from the construction of a new tourist attraction at…"
He paused, quickly taking out the crunched-up notes in his pocket. But his voice dropped to a whisper when he read the following words.
"...Leopard Shark Island, it's the new Golden Shark Statue?"
The crowd cheered regardless, amazed by the giant statue pushed onto the central platform. It was a gigantic statue, but at the height of a palm tree. It was coated in gold and it didn't look like paint, the light shining on its pure skin. But it wasn't just the gold and the obvious richness that amazed people.
It was the way the statue was sculptured. It appeared to be two sharks leaping upwards with beams of ocean water twirling around them. The sharks could be mistaken for dolphins, but their sharp teeth and angular fins showed otherwise. However, their broad smiles strangely appeared soft despite the sharp teeth, giving a childlike wonder to them.
Their beady eyes were pointed towards each other. The statue was made as a symbol of love. All kinds of love. Previous art critics guessed it was romantic, but casual audiences could see it as love for a sibling, a friend or anything. Sharks weren't customarily known to interact with each other, so the detail in making a sculpture like this made it seem real…
Unlike the crowd, Lou wasn't cheering for its beauty.
Because it was the exact same statue on the island where his parents had love at first sight.
Shark suddenly felt the weight of everybody in the room holding him down. It was too surreal seeing the statue. He did hear that Leopard Shark Island was under construction. But to think that they had a statue copy in development…and some greedy jerks stole it, it felt like his mother's old love was taken for granted again.
He remembered how much his mother talked about it every time he asked why she liked her father in the first place. From Lou's perspective, they seemed distanced. It wasn't the case for his mother.
She said she saw a different man in his father on that island. He didn't look like a threat, only staring at the statue curiously. He didn't look like the terrifying shark everybody knew him for. It was only one seemingly looking for…understanding.
The statue symbolized when the two of them met each other's eyes. An understanding of wanting to be alone together. His father saw his mother's kindness and wisdom. His mother saw his father's hidden compassion. That was why this statue was magical to Shark. And now…
Even if he COULD take the statue, Shark would be powerless to keep it safe. Why would anyone trust a shark to own it?
"Hey, are you done leering?" asked an annoyed voice.
Shark blinked and realized his cheeks were wet. Embarrassed, he wiped them away and cleared his throat. He was still in disguise and reminded himself to cover up that grief. Let the acting take over.
"Um…well, folks!" he said in forced enthusiasm. "We all seem to start with really high prices tonight. Let's try starting with a fair price. 100?"
The small price poked through his gritted teeth, feeling the glare of his partners on stage. As the crowd began clamoring different bids, Shark darted his eyes away. Staring at the exit vault door could be a good distraction.
The one normal eye and red eye right there didn't settle his discomfort.
Shark thought he was dreaming.
His father was there in his cyborg form. He tried blinking more, but his father was here.
The older shark was gobsmacked by the golden statue, a disrespectful way of treating the statue his wife loved. And Shark could see it painted on his father's face.
Suddenly, Oscar yelped and jumped backwards. He noticed his cold arms glued to the sides of his body. He never froze like this before. Eventually, the Great White Shark shook his head and ran off.
Shark felt his heart skip a beat.
Running through the hallway, Oscar retained his sense of reality. The voices were finally starting to go away. Right on time to hear pieces of action occurring through his earpiece. He couldn't identify the noises, but it sounded like smoking hissing and people screaming. He had to admit, this would be his kind of empire.
He just didn't expect those human kids to be that quick to grow up.
"All targets are out," said a voice through his earpiece, a high-ranked agent of the Mecha Underlords. "Oscar, have you yet emptied Display Room #1?"
Oscar sighed to himself. "Oh, um…"
He wasn't going to talk about neglecting to finish the job. He wasn't going to tell anyone that his stupid hallucinations popped up again. He didn't want to show he was decaying.
"You see, I think my bomb was malfunctioning-"
"Dad," said Shark around the corner.
Oscar screamed and threw a punch forward. Shark casually grabbed it with his right hand while lifting his left hand to show he had no weapons. It was nearly hard to see through the disguise, but Oscar immediately recognized the younger shark in front of him.
"Lou?!" he said in disbelief. "Is that a mustache?"
"Yes," said Shark reflexively.
Oscar raised an eyebrow, brushing his own mustache.
"No," admitted Shark. "N-Not really."
On cue, his disguise fell apart, switching back to his purple spy suit. Oscar's mind was flooded with a million questions.
One side was delighted in seeing his son breaking into a black site; one thing they might have in common.
The other side was pondering why his son chose to be here; Lou wouldn't just walk in blindly.
"Oscar? Do you copy?" hissed the high-ranked agent.
Oscar chose to ignore the voice. "Lou, why are you here?"
Shark grinned sheepishly, sweating. "Dad…"
"Why are you wearing all of this and…" Oscar cringed at the sight of Shark's golden earring. "This earring is still on your fin! What is all this?!"
Shark repressed his feelings with a grin as Oscar tried reaching for his fin. "Dad, I love to stay and chat, but my friends and I are here on a mission."
Oscar drew his hand back, his tone worried and shocked. "You all came here?"
"It's top secret and I suggest you go now," urged Shark hastily.
"Oscar. Do you copy?" hissed the voice again.
Oscar growled, unhappy with Shark's vagueness. "Son, I'm here for a mission as well. Remember the empire I joined? They're here. Collecting some stupid marbles."
Shark's eyes widened. "Oh…well, I'm…picking up some marbles."
And that was when they realized they had the same objective.
Oscar suddenly felt sick. At this moment, the lingering look that connected both pairs of eyes towards each other for a long time, familiar with the sinking feeling of the last time they were together. A mutual understanding of the same regret of being on opposite sides. Neither of them didn't want any business with each other, but fate seemed to put them in this spot.
And for some reason, both of them still cared for each other.
Shark didn't want to throw his father away.
Oscar didn't want to harm his son.
"Oscar. Do you copy?!" growled the high-ranked agent. "Stop talking with this degenerate-"
Grunting in frustration, Oscar pulled his earpiece off and threw it to the side. His rising temper wasn't helping. This wasn't how things should be!
The Mecha Underlords were definitely going to sic the Bad Guys. He would have been fine if it hadn't been for his son involved. He didn't want his son caught in the crossfire.
But then, he remembered Shaård's word of advice. His disdain towards the Bad Guys was making him feel worse. He nearly forgot again that Shark was already strong enough. There was still this worry that the empire wouldn't be kind to his son, even if Splaarghön and Shaård were understanding.
His worry increased when he saw Judy staring at Oscar with dead eyes behind Shark.
Oscar blinked and Judy was gone.
Not now, he thought in worry. He tried to cover his mouth but couldn't control his breathing. He shook his head. He was letting fear get to him. And now was the right time to combat it.
He held onto Shark's shoulders and pulled him close. His voice was surprisingly soft and gentle, pleading. "Lou. This isn't a good time now, but I'm asking you…to join me. You and your friends. This empire WILL tear this place to shreds until they find what they seek."
Shark barely reacted when Oscar grabbed him by the shoulders. If anything, it turned out to be something he wanted. To receive some affection from his father after the distance he created. Up this close, he realized his father was genuinely concerned for him and his friends. His father was concerned about what his current empire might do.
Remember when Webs told him that he wasn't a good man? Yeah. This moment seemed to argue her statement.
But Shark was quick not to fall into it.
Deflecting Oscar's side would mean betraying his team's goals and purpose in the first place. He knew that his father wouldn't like his friends.
"I…I cannot," said Lou, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, but I just can't."
Oscar should have expected this, but he felt hurt by this. And when trying to give his son a safe way out of this, he turned it down.
An ugly thought came to Oscar's mind: his son was being ungrateful.
"Fine," hissed Oscar, clenching his fists tightly. "Then…get out of my way."
"Your target is my target as well," said Shark sternly.
"I cannot guarantee your success," snarled Oscar. "No room is big enough for the two of us!"
"I thought you said your empire would be tearing this place apart for themselves."
Oscar rolled his eyes. "Whatever. As long as you don't stare at them in the eye, then-"
He tried walking forwards, but Shark immediately jumped and tried to push him backwards. Almost instantly, the agile Oscar grabbed his son by the arms and spun him around with the grace of a ballerina. He gently slammed his back against the wall, eliciting a high-pitched 'eep' from the younger shark, and pushed him down onto his bottom.
Shark, in sitting position, found himself forced in a baby spot. Oscar folded his legs, crossed his arms and then placed a hot baby bottle in his hands.
"Think about what you've done," said Oscar, patting his son condescendingly. "Just…wait here."
Shark blinked, surprised that his father just put him in THIS position! He could have wiped the floor with him, but instead, he made him sit down!
"Dad…" he squeaked.
"Just stay," growled Oscar, his arms nearly spread out protectively. "Papa's gonna collect some new toys before they kill your friends."
Without another instruction, the Great White Shark bolted off in the most undignified running manner of all time. In place of a strict and competent assassin was a father trying to return to work after putting his children into time-out. It was a mix of a waddle and a fat man running away, his body jiggling up and down.
Shark looked down at the baby bottle. Frowning, he tossed it aside.
Back in Display Room #11, the patience of Wolf and Snake began to tremble.
Literally tremble when a set of distant explosions wobbled the entire place.
For a moment, they heard the spinning blades slowing down a little. They were just observing the ant farm bottle when they felt the tremor of an earthquake.
They wouldn't have minded it…if it wasn't for the fact that earthquakes don't usually happen near Melbourne.
Wolf tried pressing his earpiece meekly. A long static sound of radio only filled his ears.
"What's going on?" he said nervously.
Snake huffed. "OSHA problems, I'm guessing. This place is not built to last by the looks."
"Probably right," said Wolf. "I wouldn't be surprised if they accidentally set off a nuke."
"That would just burn all of us to death," said Snake grimly.
"Oh! You're right. At least it's just me and you together."
Snake chuckled a little, resting his head on Wolf's shoulder. "Yeah, yeah. Though, I have to wonder since the place seems quite fortified-!"
BONG!
Out of the blue, a WRECKING BALL crashed through the ceiling and smashed right through the chandelier. Once the chain attached to it was at its limit, it dangled just meters above the ground.
Unfortunately, Wolf's and Snake's heads came into contact when the wrecking ball struck, flattening the two Bad Guys to pancakes.
Oh, and Splaarghön was on the wrecking ball, holding onto the chain.
"Discard your puny weapons," she said dramatically with a grin, waving one arm around to flourish. "They are no match for us! Kneel before me, Dread Overlord Splaarghön, and submit yourselves to your INESCAPABLE DEATH!"
In her guttural boast, there were only crickets.
The room was surprisingly devoid of any other sentient organisms. It was also clean as if nobody had touched anything. The front vault door was neatly closed. There were no guards around…it was like they all went on strike.
The pink-haired cyborg frowned, her shoulders drooping in shame. "…strange. I thought there would be an army waiting."
Shaård landed next to her with a deadpanned look. "Clearly, you're not getting an Oscar."
"I like to see you do better, Dickie."
"To be fair, we're not supervillains. Do we act like them?"
"I kind of want to try acting like Oscar," admitted Splaarghön sheepishly.
Shaård couldn't help smiling in affectionate amusement. Before he could remark, the two cyborgs heard a whine from below.
One of a wolf and one of a snake.
"Ow…" whimpered Wolf.
"My head…" grumbled Snake.
"Oops!" said Splaarghön, hopping off the wrecking ball. "Sorry! Lift the wrecking ball!"
Shaård gave the chain a wiggle and it was enough to send the message to the helicopter that dropped the wrecking ball. He hopped off and watched it shoot upwards, disappearing through the ceiling hole.
The entrance vault door slammed open, revealing the panting Great White Shark.
"Oscar!" said Splaarghön merrily.
"Wait, how did you get in?" asked Shaård.
"The front door," said Oscar simply.
"Oh, lol."
Wolf and Snake came to their senses, standing up to reveal themselves. Sandwiched between the two human cyborgs and the Great White Shark.
They both gasped, recognizing the feared assassin and the father Shark tried to stay away from.
"The Great White Shark?!" they both yelled.
Shaård's eyes widened upon recognition of the canine. "Mr. Wolf?"
Oscar was outraged. "Bad Guys?!"
Snake recoiled in horror from the familiar pink-haired cyborg. "Adeline?!"
"Snake?!" squeaked Splaarghön.
"Wait, what?!" said Oscar.
"Adeline?" said Wolf, glancing at Snake.
Shaård's jaw dropped. "...yeah, Adeline? You knew her?!"
Snake blinked. "Yes? But I didn't expect you to be here like…" One look at her neon pink eye, it immediately gave him flashbacks of David. "This!"
Splaarghön gritted her teeth. Of all the time they had to be here…!
Now it looked like the Bad Guys were intervening. There goes her chance in recruiting them. There goes Snake's trust in her. But through the shocking discovery, she inhaled sharply as she tried to rationalize instead of succumbing to the astonishment killing her.
"I'm a cyborg," she said blankly. "And the empire I'm leading is called the Mecha Underlords. I didn't tell you earlier since you were busy with…something else on your mind?"
Snake looked like he barely reacted. But he was frozen. He could feel his blood running cold, nearly making him shiver. He then remembered what David had told him. His master Overlord Splaarghön...Adeline. It dawned on him that THIS was her job the entire time.
"I heard that the leaders are building a cannon to improve people's lives. One shot and everyone will be in harmony."
But if they were, then why would the Mecha Underlords hire Oscar out of all people? And why did David attack Snake?
How could they miss the warning signs that she was a potential terrorist?
His mind started racing as all the built-up pressure and tension struck again. It all made it painful to keep up his dour appearance. From being lied to. Deceived. Again. Was all her talk just some fake act as a marketing strategy?! He wanted to break down. Cry. Scream. Shout at what he thought was his new friend.
But Splaarghön didn't seem to deceive him. Her words were really honest. And she only hid this since he didn't ask further…
Wolf was more vocal about this growing fear, needing to tap Snake on the head to grab his attention.
The canine was stern. "You talked to them the entire time?"
The reptile tried speaking, but all that came out was a terrified croak. It didn't help that Oscar immediately raised his voice.
"Yeah," growled Oscar, his right eye twitching. "You talked to them, Splaarghön?"
Splaarghön even gulped, sweating. "Well, they were in Melbourne and I saved them, so…"
"You knew they were here?" said Oscar in disbelief, crossing over the bridge. "Did you know, Shaård?"
A guilt-ridden Shaård looked away, unable to meet his eyes. "I…I didn't know how to say it to you. You were struggling with thinking about…" He paused, unable to justify.
When Shaård trailed off, Wolf took the opportunity to speak. "Given that Oscar is on your side, were you responsible for sending him to Centralway Mall?"
"That wasn't our command," muttered Shaård.
The canine turned back to Snake. "Snake, you better have a good explanation for this."
"I swear, I didn't know she was part of the Mecha Undelords," said the reptile. He then turned to the pink-haired cyborg and tried mustering the betraying feeling to produce a stink eye. "Especially the fact that you're the one responsible for turning David into a severe nutjob!"
"You mean Drillaärgh?" said Splaarghön, narrowing her eyes. "He was still an idiot from the very beginning."
"He did it by choice," remarked Shaård.
Wolf laughed without mirth. "Oh, yeah. By choice. We finally meet the villains of this story, everyone!"
Snake sighed, starting to feel awful. "I'm starting to see that. Right, 'rebellious delinquent'?"
Splaarghön scratched her chin with a thoughtful look. "Mmm, yes. I'm a criminal."
"And the devil."
Oscar raised an eyebrow. "The devil?"
"What?" said Shaård.
"Oh, no, no, no," said an alarmed Splaarghön, waving her hands in protest. "I'm not the devil."
"You look like one!" pointed out Wolf with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh, my outfit is supposed to resemble a centipede," explained Splaarghön casually. "The horns are definitely based on the centipede."
Shaård was already growing sick of this nonsense. "Splaarghön."
At first, Wolf would just punch the pink-haired cyborg in the face, but then, his curious eyes turned to her sophisticated armor. Cue his golden eyes sparkling and becoming sidetracked.
"Is this hand-crafted or is it 3D printed?" he asked curiously.
"It's the first one," Splaarghön said helpfully.
"Ah, at least you're self-resourceful," said Wolf, impressed. "I can respect that."
"Splaarghön!" snarled Shaård through gritted teeth.
"Do you actually have a set of armor that fit my complexity?" asked Wolf, grinning.
"What?" said Oscar, confused.
"Seriously?" grumbled Snake, rolling his eyes.
"Oh, I can provide you with the colors you're wearing!" chirped Splaarghön with a smile.
"What?! No!" yelled Shaård.
"Well, right after this fight, if you don't kill us," snarked Snake.
"Oh, I'll go easy on you," promised Splaarghön. "We have plenty of time!"
"But we don't."
"Don't take this too seriously. I promise! Pinkie swear, cross my heart, hope to not-!"
Shaård finally lost it and snatched the ant farm bottle nearby, swinging it dangerously.
"Would you stop acting like you're conspiring in a second secret alliance?! FOCUS!"
At this, he smashed the bottle against his helmet and half of the bottle fell apart. So did the sand and ants, screaming in a high pitch
Fed up, the insane Shaård pointed the broken bottle at Wolf and Snake. "Now stand out of the way or I'll let the guards-!"
One of the vent grills popped open, followed by a green and black blur.
"SURPRISE!"
Immediately, Splaarghön and Shaård ducked, but Wolf and Snake failed to duck in time as Piranha crashed into the two of them. All three Bad Guys were sent flying over the two cyborgs and crashed on the bridge near the storage room that contained the jar of Eden Apples.
At the same time, just as Oscar caught up with the two dumbfounded cyborgs, Diane suddenly burst out from one of the vents and rolled across the bridge to get close to her fellow teammates. Her headset prevented the trio from seeing her face. Meanwhile, Webs was perched on her shoulder and her jaw dropped when she saw the cyborgs.
Shark even arrived in time, but when he got onto the bridge that led to the central platform, he activated the special bounce mode of his shoes and jumped upwards.
Oscar gasped once he saw his son.
He watched as the younger son soared over him at superhuman strength and landed right next to the Bad Guys.
Once Wolf, Snake and Piranha got back up, the latter immediately took the front and pulled out a black sledgehammer, this time, fit for his size.
"You mess with us, you mess with the best of us!" bragged Piranha. Then, his face deflated. "Wait, that doesn't work…"
"It doesn't," deadpanned Webs.
To their dismay, an army of cyborgs filled the room through the front entrance. They were all in colorful outfits, but some contained pieces of armor much like Splaarghön's. Some didn't appear to be wielding any weapons, instead having their fists lifted upwards.
They crowded the main platform, blocking off any chances of escaping. Once in formation, the majority of the weapon wielders held theirs upwards, pointing at their opponents. They all formed a warning sign that blocked any escape yet their loud colors tempted the Bad Guys to pay attention to their looks than their spikes.
Splaarghön, Shaård and Oscar took the center, their authority holding control of the room. They exhibited a level of calmness despite the unexpected guests. The latter two were sharing gritty, clenched scowls, prepared for what would come. An instant battle face to anything that came their way.
However, Splaarghön appeared a little apprehensive, staring directly at Snake.
It was also when Diane noticed Splaarghön's fearful look. The fox's eyes flashed back to her previous studies on past criminal files when she became the new governor. The human girl with the spiky braided ponytail…
The fox gasped, her eyes wide in horror. Her heart nearly stopped, but she knew it would only if she remained standing around HER for too long.
Shark took the front of his frightened friends, holding his hands up in a plea for peace.
Webs nearly shuffled away at the sight of Oscar. She was the one who feared him the most aside from Shark himself. Seeing the Great White Shark spoke unspeakable things he could do. However, she kept herself frozen, refrained. She wanted to protect Shark, but she couldn't. Her hypervigilant, wide eyes were filled with anxiety, observant to the incoming clash.
She felt a beep in her pocket and she took out her phone. Linked to her computer, it told her the decryption process. Strangely, it was still going. 70%. She glanced at the orange holographic barrier behind them. It was taking too long.
"Hold your fire!" called Shark, trying to maintain a gentle tone. "Please. Dad, tell them!"
Splaarghön and Shaård glanced at the Great White Shark, flinching in unison when meeting his face. Being responsible for not informing their comrade, they knew he had every reason to ignore them.
Oscar just stared at his son for a long time. He was calling for an alternative. He nearly thought of hearing him out, but then, he saw the Bad Guys behind him. Watching with fearful eyes and looking like they would jump from the bridge.
This was what flipped Oscar's switch. No. They were asking for mercy. They wanted to cower. And Oscar knew the Mecha Underlords wouldn't take their word for granted. Those Bad Guys were nothing but cowards. He gave them a better option and they didn't take it.
He nearly thought he saw demonic grins scribbled all over their faces briefly. Signs of wanting to use innocence as a pathetic weapon that would never work.
In reality, the poor Bad Guys were watching with heaving chests.
The Great White Shark eventually shook his head and sighed, his body drooping in reluctance.
Shark took a step back. His shoulders drooped in devastation with watery eyes.
Splaarghön noticed this and decided to try to not bury this opportunity. "Bad Guys, I admire you. But this is our mission. Our goal. We know how this will end. I don't want that. Please hear me out."
Hear her out on this? Almost all of Shadow Squad G exchanged confused looks except Snake. They would have thought she would rush in for the kill, but she was begging them to listen. But she could be trying to manipulate them, so they must be careful.
For Snake, it was the most difficult for him to determine since Splaarghön was nothing but kind to him from the start.
Even Oscar himself was taken aback by Splaarghön's plead, stunned. Unlike the stone-cold cyborgs around them, she looked desperate to make things right. In fact, this evoked his fatherly side.
It was enough for Oscar to follow his son's concern.
"Don't just stand there," he whispered, almost pleading. "Do the right thing."
Snake felt a huge lump in his throat. Great. Now, the bloodthirsty assassin was trying to make him feel guilty.
"Snake," begged Splaarghön sadly. "Call me all you want. I do mean it what I said. I didn't mean to cover everything."
It took Piranha a while to recognize her, but when he did, his eyes widened in shock and dejection. "Wait, you were the…and why did you hire Oscar…?" He couldn't spit out the next few words, pained to believe that Adeline sent this psycho to nearly kill Hornet.
Snake was tempted to hide away, let the darkness overcome him to not see anyone. But the pink-haired cyborg talking to him was still the same girl who treated him with encouragement and kindness. Even if it was all weird. She sounded so trusting to him from their previous chats.
Despite feeling paranoid, he understood that her bark was honest. She did nearly risk herself when she killed a thug for his safety.
As he dared, he slithered forward. "Adeline. We can-"
He was blocked by the blood-stained sword pulled out from Diane's holster. The red glare of the ruby boiling in anger. A protective Wolf pulled the reptile back as Diane pointed her sword at Splaarghön.
"I'll make sure you can't," snarled Diane, her voice laced with cold venom. "Your carnage ends here. You won't hurt anyone again."
Splaarghön silently gasped.
Shaård's eyes widened, no longer stoic.
"DON'T fool me on this," growled Diane. "Don't think we know your little stunt. You don't know ANYTHING about us."
Snake opened his mouth to scream, but nothing came through. He had no idea what Diane was talking about at all. Did she see Splaarghön as a…dangerous felon?
Unfortunately, his hesitated silence undid any hope of avoiding a fight. He glanced back to see guilt traced on Splaarghön's face.
A sinking feeling sank into her, her shoulders feeling heavy.
This was replaced by coldness.
She narrowed her eyes and gritted her sharp teeth. She did this before she could start remembering. This wasn't her now.
"You have a damn lot to endure," she spat. "Let's see if this brings memories."
Snake couldn't find the words to say anything back. He didn't want this. Diane's sudden hostility made him reluctant to trust Splaarghön's word. He glanced at Piranha, hoping the little fish would say something. However, Piranha was hyperventilating and his teeth were clenched to fake a snarl. The reptile felt another lump and swallowed it hard, trying to hide his visible worry.
Shadow Squad G and the Mecha Underlords were in a silent standoff, watching patiently for what they might reach out to grab. The jar of Eden Apples was just behind the former and anybody could take it. Everyone in the room mentally prepared themselves for the havoc that would come; everyone here was a professionally trained criminal, so any mistake could turn into failure.
Everyone dared each other to move a muscle, trying to see a weakness. But neither side could see how they could strike. The Bad Guys could outsmart an entire army like it was nothing. The Mecha Underlords had power in their numbers. It was anybody's game. The tension slowly rose when they acknowledged those facts; evening out the odds were hard to do…
Snake finally gave in with great anger to get things done.
"Screw it," he said. "Weren't the guards you took care of supposed to be dead?!"
Every single one of the cyborgs turned around and Snake used that opportunity to wrap himself around Wolf's arm. The canine didn't need to ask, swinging him upwards.
In mid-air, Snake activated his thin shield and his scales turned green. Brandishing his electrical whip, he slashed it downwards in the middle of the cyborgs.
This caused a chain of events as those unfortunate were sent flying, their stomachs gazed. Some backed away and accidentally fell off the main platform. There were no screams from them, however.
But Splaarghön, Shaård and Oscar immediately hopped backwards.
Oscar simply rolled across the floor before standing up on one knee. He looked behind to see one cyborg accidentally tripping backwards and falling into the pit below. There was a loud rip from the spinning blades and the cyborg complained loudly.
Immediately, he remembered that these cyborgs couldn't really die easily.
The Great White Shark was suddenly filled with interest.
"Don't mind me if I just watch the fireworks," thought Oscar coldly, taking cover behind a large display case.
When Splaarghön landed on her feet, she looked back up to meet Snake's gaze. He was resigned but didn't share the same coldness as the mysterious fox ninja. In fact, his eyes were burning in frustration and confusion. She could sense his growing anger at what she was hiding. The whip cackled loudly, the electricity matching Snake's newfound energy.
"I'm sorry, Adeline," he spat, his eyes narrowed.
For Shaård, he felt a little bit of a show-off, doing a couple of flips in the air before landing on one hand. Once he saw Splaarghön pulling out her spikes, he immediately saw where this would go. He flipped back onto his feet, fists clenched.
But then again, she seemed to like the Bad Guys, so…would this be a friendly fight?
"Say, you like dirty dancing?" tempted the male cyborg, pulling out one of his chainsaw weapons.
"Let's cut to the chase," grumbled Snake.
At this, the rest of Shadow Squad G activated their thin shields for protection.
Wolf and Diane immediately leapt over Snake and slaughtered the next wave of cyborgs.
Diane pulled out her second sword and slashed both swords in an X formation. This not only struck those too close but also created a flaming X shape at them.
Meanwhile, Wolf pulled out his pistols and fired blue chalk bullets, sending many flying in blue smoke.
"Hey!" called Wolf, effortlessly firing many enemies. "Lowest body count has to give up 20 bucks!"
"Oh, this is no contest," bragged Diane. "If you want to be like the Crimson Paw, never slip."
"Note taken!" barked Wolf, charging forwards.
Diane suddenly lifted her swords upwards against the incoming spikes of Splaarghön. The pink-haired cyborg grinned, looking like a slasher villain. She cackled before spinning around, the spikes in her hands clashing against the fox's ruby swords.
"Rookie mistake, Miss. Ninja!" taunted Splaarghön. "You let your guard down!"
"Not just yet!" said Diane, trying to slice forwards.
Splaarghön simply jumped upwards and landed on the sword. However, Diane anticipated this kind of move and pulled her swords near her chest quickly. This sent Splaarghön flying towards her before the fox delivered a roundhouse kick to the stomach, sending the pink-haired cyborg in the other direction.
Back with the others, Shark immediately ran towards the fight. He might not be the violent one, but he couldn't hide his strength.
From the hammerspace, he pulled out a large cannon-like blaster, stylized in a similar pattern to his dagger holster. It felt like carrying a machine gun, except there were various ammos.
All while punching and kicking aside charging cyborgs like a football player.
"Get out there!" cried Webs to Piranha.
The little fish refused, twirling his sledgehammer around. "You shouldn't be on your own! I'll shield for you."
Webs decided not to argue, knowing that she couldn't multitask on hacking and fighting. With the gritty Piranha by her side, she pulled out her laptop and flipped it open to reveal the decryption process tab still at work. She began mashing buttons on the keyboard, speeding their purchase to a one-way ticket to the Eden Apples.
Shaård was already packing heat with Snake. The melee fighter against the limbless animal with an electrical ribbon. The reptile kept slashing but those attacks were blocked by Shaård. Made more difficult when the male cyborg tried running forward, attempting to cut the whip in half with his chainsaw weapon.
When he saw Shaård too close, Snake panicked and threw the whip forward. It immediately wrapped itself around the chainsaw weapon. Without thinking, Snake spun around and so did the chainsaw. With the whip unwrapping itself, Shaård found his prized weapon crashing into one of the case displays.
Specifically, it was the stereo. Despite now malfunctioning due to the chainsaw creating a hole, it was still functional to play a song.
[Love Bites (So Do I) - Halestorm]
[0:00]
"ONE! TWO! ONE! TWO! ONE, TWO, THREE, GO!"
Thrash metal guitars and building drums began blasting out from the stereo. It confused the entire Shadow Squad G, stopping what they were doing. The cyborgs attacking them also paused, but they didn't show confusion. Only waiting to strike again.
However, Splaarghön's and Shaård's reactions were more out of thrill.
Shaård was tapping his feet to the drums building up in the intro instrumental, humming to the melody.
Splaarghön moved her shoulders up and down in rhythm, cracking her neck side to side to feel comfortable.
On the other hand, even Oscar was dumbfounded by this.
"This is giving me too much punk," he muttered from his hiding place.
[0:12]
Despite the loud music blasting out from the stereo, this didn't distract anyone. As soon as the now-empowered Splaarghön and Shaård charged to attack, Wolf, Snake, Diane and Shark returned to being on the defense. The rest of the cyborg army got to work, either on the offense with swords or the defense with firearms.
Wolf was having a blast as he took on the dozens of cyborgs charging at him. Previously, he would have run away from the cops, clumsily tripping on his feet. But now, with the training gained, he felt more confident in fighting back. Seeing the high attention around him and feeling his movements more coordinated, Wolf was an unstoppable racecar blazing through smoothly.
He had a sly smile while shooting right at his enemies. Some he missed, but he didn't care. He was having too much fun sliding across the floor and taking aim while ducking. Light blue laser projectiles flew around him, but he playfully danced around them to cheese his enemies. He was already in beat with the thunderous song.
At some point, a few cyborgs tried charging at him with a fist ready. But he managed to dodge, either kicking them out of the way or landing a bullet in their chest, receiving a successful, non-fatal explosion of powder that sent them scrambling. At one point, one cyborg tried grabbing his arm from behind, but he immediately elbowed them in the stomach before carrying them upwards and swinging them around to hit another enemy.
Snake didn't need to worry about the army of cyborgs around him. He could see Wolf, Diane and Shark taking care of them on the battlefield. Guarding their desired target, Piraha used the same guns Wolf used, shooting away any cyborgs trying to cross the bridge. Webs was furiously typing away.
However, Snake's attention was on Splaarghön, who had been staring at him the longest.
The reptile snapped his electrical whip on the floor, growling angrily.
The pink-haired cyborg twirled two dark red spikes around in her hands before licking her sore lips.
The two stormed towards each other like two cars on a collision course. Once they got close, Snake leaned back, curled the bottom of his body up in a heap and whipped his electrical whip around to block. The more ruthless Splaarghön slashed her spikes in an attempt to graze him. As Snake held back for a while, he could see her blank and determined look.
Her eyes reflected cold business, lost in the fight.
Anger began boiling in Snake's blood. The generous offer to talk down Dreary Dream University, the cloak gifted, the kind words exchanged…and now, he was fighting against the girl who didn't make him feel small. While he still couldn't confirm, it was a betrayal. He couldn't tell who 'Adeline' really was.
These ugly thoughts led him to decide to try to attack back, lashing his whip closely at her.
"Have you been spying on us?!" hissed Snake. "Was all of this a lie?!"
Splaarghön actually looked offended, stopping to scrunch up her nose in disgust. "Hey, I didn't know you were trying to get those Eden Apples!"
"Neither did I! And I didn't know you were in kahoots with the Great White Shark!"
"Don't patronize me," growled Splaarghön, striking her spike downwards, blocked by Snake. "He's a well-meaning and sophisticated teammate!"
[0:42]
Meanwhile, the well-meaning Oscar was unhelpfully sitting at his hiding spot. Dumbly exposing his head in the crossfire. Laser projectiles zapped around the room, even hitting him in the back. But they weren't enough to burn a hole in his head. It was already chaos and he was feeling it.
This looked like fun, he thought.
With a hungry smirk, he took out a bag of peanuts and swallowed the whole bag.
He spotted his son close by. Never before had he seen his baby Lou shooting bundles of WET CLOTHES at his enemies from his blaster. The younger shark was swinging his weapon to take a shot at the charging cyborgs, even ducking when one tried shooting from above.
Several cyborgs fell before him, wrapped in soggy, heavy shirts and pants. From the head to the legs, they were somehow dressed in flannel farm shirts and overalls. The victims flailed around on the floor, panicking over the heavy materials. Shark was laughing his head off at the many cyborgs struggling to free themselves from the tight, small clothes.
From a distance, Oscar felt a sincere smile creeping up, unseen by anyone. Of course, it was probably due to Splaarghön's army being completely disposable. Judging by how many were quickly taken out. But at least Shark didn't fall to them. This made the Great White Shark proud of him.
Maybe Shaård was right that his son would survive.
[Pause at 0:58]
Oscar's train of thought was interrupted when he felt something light fluttering in his face.
Cold mist showering him like he was a sunflower.
And it smelled like literal sunflowers.
Blinking several times, he realized that his son was already onto him. But the younger shark's gaze was at his cannon blaster in dismay.
"Wait." Shark noticed that there weren't that many high streams of perfume liquid spilling out from the barrel. "This option is…misting? What's even the point of this blaster?!"
"I don't know, Lou," said Oscar, almost immediately. "But it kind of feels nice."
[Resume at 0:59]
Followed by Shark simply switching to high gear and a high-pressure stream of liquid splashing into Oscar's face, sending him crashing into the entrance vault door.
Back in the primary fight, Wolf just slid right underneath a guy's legs and kicked him upwards, hitting him in the groin. As the unfortunate bastard fell over, the canine was soon pelted with laser projectiles. He immediately rolled around on the floor and got back up for a quick shoot at his attackers. There was a loud cry from behind, invoking him to turn around.
Diane was already wiping the floor with this many cyborgs. He could see her blocking and swinging her swords forward. At some points, she had to jump high to perform a spin, earning a strike in her opponent's forehead. The slashes were not severe, but surprisingly, some of the cyborgs managed to shrug it off and got back up.
After using her swords for a while, the fox went back to hand-to-hand combat. Quickly attaching them to her back, she rushed forward and used her elbow to block an incoming punch. She proceeded to kick her opponent in the chest using her knee before finishing off by throwing her against a charging cyborg. One tried swinging a sword at her, but she managed to duck and jump over him, kicking him in the ribs.
One cyborg jumped from above with a warcry. Once he landed, he threw a couple of punches, all of which Diane managed to avoid. He tried kicking upwards, aiming for a way to get past her. But after a couple of dodges, she grabbed him by the leg, lifted his body over her head and slammed him down. The cyborg let out a pained scream, nearly feeling his head cracking if it weren't for his regeneration ability.
"Damn, that is really hard!" said Wolf, sliding next to Diane.
"I got a little carried away," admitted Diane sheepishly.
"How about we share a real dirty dance?"
On cue, they saw another wave of cyborgs running at them. The two stood back-to-back, with Wolf on the guns and Diane on the swords, spinning around in unison.
Things were getting heated up between Snake and Splaarghön. The two were picking up a storm with the former furiously swinging around his electrical whip and the latter trying to break through his attacks. Splaarghön had to keep using the spikes in her hands to block any attacks and sometimes needed to do a cartwheel to hit the whip upwards.
"You're basically monsters, aren't you?!" snarled Snake. "David told me everything! Making everyone like you?!"
"Monsters?!" exclaimed Splaarghön, catching the whip. "Says the guy who is a-"
[1:22]
She didn't get to finish when Snake pulled the whip back. The momentum caused her to spin around and the whip wrapped around her body. The reptile didn't hesitate to activate the electric bolts. There was only seething anger as he watched Splaarghön jolting upwards, twitching. The pink-haired cyborg gritted her teeth, feeling the electricity run through her body.
But it didn't feel painful. It felt more like a squeeze in her body.
Coming from the guy she tried talking to in peace.
"Is a what?!" demanded Snake, up in the cyborg's face. "A no-good snake?!"
"No," answered Splaarghön. "A sycophant working for the wrong manager!"
Already growing frustrated, she opened her arms wide and her muscles broke the whip that trapped her. Without thinking, she punched and landed a jab right in Snake's chest. The reptile couldn't process this, especially when he crashed onto the floor, lost in the high energy.
But he didn't notice was that at the same time as he did, several jelly snake bots burst out from his pouch. One landed on Splaarghön's nose, deactivated.
[Pause at 1:38]
This actually stopped her from her rampage. "Is that a lolly?"
Once Snake acknowledged the soreness in his chest and how dizzy his head was again, he could hear the unladylike, goofy screams of Splaarghön. He saw her jumping around while the jelly snake bot nibbled her nose.
Splaarghön was actually hopping around, flapping her hands as if a bird pooped on her head.
"...I can't believe that actually works," muttered Snake.
[Resume at 0:04]
Meanwhile, the two little Bad Guys were still in front of the holographic door. Piranha didn't struggle with shooting away nearby cyborgs. The bullets hitting his targets exploded in pink and purple powder. He didn't need to feel guilty since they seemed to get back up when one went down. Beyond crazy, Piranha taught himself to pick up in a fight like this.
What got him worried was the cyborgs choosing to attack through range weapons from far away, using what appeared to be rocket launchers. Fortunately, the missiles were aimed above his and Webs' heads, feeling the disintegrated ash from the explosions hitting the top of the holographic barrier above. They were trying to knock it down.
It seemed to be helping the decryption process as it weakened the shield. He noticed its orange glow slowly fading into a duller color. However, the explosions and smell of ash above them weren't helping their nerves.
And Webs had no idea what would happen if they damaged the holographic door further.
"Hermana?" said Piranha anxiously. "You're done yet?"
"You think I'm not going as fast as I can?!" snapped Webs.
The tarantula was still typing away, but she was slowly losing pace. The decryption process was close to hitting the 90% mark, but hearing the noise and the room rumbling nearly distracted her. Usually, her hacking sessions were in a quiet place or an environment where things could be expected. This was not the case.
And she was right when Shaård took the step to jump in from above.
Immediately, Piranha towered over Webs to protect her and brandished a larger sledgehammer. The bold black-coated weapon clashed against the prideful metallic blade of Shaård's chainsaw weapon.
The male cyborg emitted a growl through his sharp teeth, trying to attack first. However, Piranha held his ground, using all his strength to defy the taller human. The two were like this for a while to push each other off. Immediately, Webs noticed the dilemma, her jaw dropping once she saw how close Shaård was.
From the spiky and dark clothing to the glitching yellow pupil in his right eye to the clenched teeth. His height reminded her of how vulnerable she was against taller opponents…
[Pause at 0:19]
And just like that, his intimidating aura loosened up when his animalistic look was exchanged with a puppy's curiosity.
"Wait, do you two seriously think I'm a supervillain?" he asked.
Piranha glanced at Webs with a dumbfounded look. The tarantula was speechless. This was too casual for a guy about to murder them.
"To be honest, you look like an edgelord," said Piranha bluntly.
[Resume at 2:13]
Without waiting for another moment, Piranha swung his sledgehammer in a full circle and landed a blow right into Shaård's weapon once again. The impact sent the male cyborg flying backwards before he landed properly on his feet.
Shaård actually looked offended. He rolled his eyes at the thought of 'edgelord' before he pressed a button on his chainsaw weapon. Wanting to pump himself up, he tossed it upwards, watching it spin.
As it did so, two additional circular saws popped on both sides of the chainsaw's blade and a spiky ax head popped out from the top. Catching it with both hands, he held it upwards like a sword.
Piranha whistled, his eyebrows raised. "Yeah, total edgelord."
[End of Song? - 2:20]
AN: There's some heavy inspiration from Puss In Boots: The Last Wish and Nimona. From the inappropriate meeting between Wolf and Snake and the Mecha Underlords to Splaarghön trying to reason with the Bad Guys to the fight sequence itself! I even took inspiration from Helluva Boss to imagine what the fight could be like. It's complete chaos!
The choice for having 'Love Bites (So Do I)' as the background song goes way back. I actually wanted to use it for a Trolls story, but that was scrapped. Eventually, it came back to here and it felt ridiculously good to apply it here for a twisted fight.
But as to why Oscar chooses to remain in hiding without being useful, that'll be revealed in the next chapter. Oh, also, him getting sprayed in mist is a reference to If Water Fights Were Like Battle Royales.
Splaarghön's hammy introduction is actually a reference to Megamind. I thought it would be funny for her to go into large ham this time.
And if you don't know the reference, not only is Shaård mimicking Death turning his sickles into a double-bladed glaive in Puss In Boots: The Last Wish, but it was also a reference to The Final Girl Ultimate Move in South Park: The Fractured But Whole! Rally suggested this weapon in the ultimate move and I immediately knew it had to be for Shaård. It's totally him.
Thanks for reading this chapter! What do you think of the wildfire spreading? And what do you think of the emotional moments in this chapter? Let me know in your reviews. If you enjoy this story so far, be sure to favorite or follow. Constructive criticism is appreciated, but if any flames, then it's down the drain.
Until next time, keep on rocking!