T/W: Slight gore, blood and Alcoholism.

Chapter 26: Heart

The plane ride back was as uncomfortably quiet as it had been there. Ivan and Gilbert practically ran for Ivan's car when they landed, dying to get away from his boss. Getting in and driving off, Ivan waited until he was sure they were far enough away for his free hand to find its way to Gilbert's leg.

'You are a country again! Now you will not die! I am so happy!' Ivan said gleefully.

'Yeah it's pretty awesome right.' Gilbert faked a smile, his mind was still on his brother. He had been so close but so far away.

Gilbert tried to let it lie until they got home but as he watched the Moscow streets fly by he felt it eat more and more at his soul. Looking over at the Russian who was driving with a smile, only removing his hand from Gilbert's leg to shift gears. He seemed to be in a good mood so what could be the harm in asking now?

'I wanted to talk to you about something.' Gilbert sighed, breaking the silence.

'What is it?' Ivan asked softly.

'My brother. I have seen him once in the last 4 fucking years. Do you know when I will get to see him again? I was hoping today but your fucking Boss… Was it him who insisted this was a day trip or you?' Gilbert said angrily.

Ivan pulled his hand off Gilbert's leg and placed it on the steering wheel, grabbing it tightly.

'I am trying my best. You know it wasn't my choice.' Ivan said sadly.

'I just don't know what to believe anymore.' Gilbert scoffed without thinking.

Gilbert grabbed onto the door for dear life as the car suddenly slammed to a stop in the middle of the road, causing the car behind to start blaring their horn and going around as the driver screamed swears out the window.

'I AM DOING MY FUCKING BEST! BETWEEN HIM AND AMERICA! I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH I KNOW!' Ivan screamed as he slammed his hands on the dashboard in frustration.

'I knew I wasn't… strong enough yet but… is it so bad to want it still…' Ivan said, flopping his head on the steering wheel.

'What are you even fucking on about?! We were talking about my brother?! Are you even listening?!' Gilbert snapped, confused and annoyed.

'I am not strong enough to fight my Bosses back and succeed yet so I must play their game… I thought now I was strong enough to have friends… maybe I was strong enough to have a boyfriend but I was mistaken…' Ivan sighed as he pulled his arms around the steering wheel like he was hugging it.

'I let you down… I know that… You have every reason not to believe what I say…' Ivan said barely audibly.

Prussia was so conflicted here. I was still so angry at Ivan for only seeing his brother once but the Russian was just sitting there so defeated. It was hard to hate him when he looked so sad and pathetic like that.

Besides, he wasn't going to get much of an answer out of him if he was feeling temperamental like that. Might be best to wait until later.

'Look lets just-' Prussia said softly, putting his hand on the Russian's back but as soon as he did he heard a wet thud that caught his attention.

'IS THAT A FUCKING HEART?!' Prussia screamed in fear as he scrambled back into his seat.

'Oh… that's mine.' Ivan sighed, picking it up.

'WHO'S IS IT AND HOW IS IT STILL BEATING!' Gilbert screamed as he pushed himself up against the car door.

Ivan just nonchalantly placed it on the dashboard and began unbuttoning his shirt.

'Like I said it's mine. Please stop screaming.' Ivan said embarrassed.

Once he had fully unbuttoned his shit he placed his heart back inside his chest before grabbing a handkerchief to wipe the blood off his hands.

'Does that not hurt?' Prussia said shocked.

'Yes it does but I am used to it.' Ivan said starting the car back up, just wanting to lie down now.

'How often does it happen?' Prussia asked as the car began to move again.

'Often enough. Normally I can catch it before it falls if I just hold my chest for a bit but when I get upset I can forget and it happens more when I am upset.' Ivan explained as he looked at the blood stains on his car floor, knowing they would be a bitch to clean.

'Is that why you would never take your shirt off?' Prussia said softly, having calmed down.

'Yes.' Ivan nodded, not moving his eyes from the road.

'Why does it even do that? That's not normal, you know.' Gilbert asked, confused.

'It just does it. Okay.' Ivan groaned, annoyed.

His head was a mess. Even before his heart fell out but now he was embarrassed in front of the Prussian by having it fall out. He knew people found it gross and creepy. He knew it wasn't normal. It wasn't like it was his fault. At one point he had even tried leaving it out to avoid the embarrassment, however he just ended up looking and feeling like death.

Once they got home Ivan pulled up without a word before leaving the car and heading inside right to his room. Getting into his room and slamming the door he grabbed the paperwork his boss had given him out his coat and a bottle of vodka as he sat on the bed. Opening the folder and reading its contents as he got comfy, trying to forget the embarrassment of that car ride.

Gilbert meanwhile was annoyed that Ivan had not only just walked off without saying shit but had left him with the blood to clean up the car. Gilbert rolled his eyes and went inside grabbing some salt, warm salty water and a cloth. He began trying his best to get the blood out of the beige carpet.

'Fucking asshole. Why get beige carpets in your car if you know this happens.' Gilbert muttered as he scrubbed.

It was starting to come out but was slow and the water was allowing it to spread slightly much to Gilbert's frustration. He hated cleaning up blood so much.

'I don't even know why I care… Its not even my fucking car… gott damn it!' Gilbert growled as he wetted the cloth again, not stopping despite his protests.

As soon as Gilbert finally got the blood out he made his way up stairs to Ivan's bedroom and after knocking to no response he walked in.

'Hmmm… Gilbert?' Ivan asked, lying half asleep on his bed still in his uniform with the folder on his chest.

'We still need to finish our talk from earlier.' Gilbert sighed as he sat on the side of the bed near the Russian.

'I have good news then, look at um…' Ivan said as he sleepy fumbled through the folder.

'This paper I think.' Ivan said, placing it down on Gilbert's lap before going back into his semi asleep state.

'As part of the DDR's new duties. He will be allowed to visit his nation monthly for a meeting and report back to you with a report in paper to then hand on to me. Such as is the case with the other nations in your care, you will not be required to join but are expected to randomly attend at least one a year to ensure good behaviour.' Gilbert read outloud.

'How's this good news exactly? I doubt they are going to just let me wander around Berlin as I please.' Gilbert said, confused.

'No but… if you are clever… and you are that when your ego doesn't get in your way… I know you can find a way to not get caught and I won't be there either so you can have more time and less eyes…' Ivan mumbled.

'Are you sure you trust me not to run off?' Gilbert laughed.

'I trust you… You are a fighter after all… You wouldn't just runaway without a fight…' Ivan said barely audibly as he started to let sleep take him.

'This is awesome! Fuck yeah!' Gilbert yelled loudly as he jumped up and down.

'I am trying to pass out here…' Ivan grumbled at the noise pulling a pillow over his face.

'Hey about what you said earlier. About being strong enough to have friends and a boyfriend. What did that mean?' Gilbert asked as he began to take the folder from the Russian and put it on the bedside table.

'When I was little I wanted a friend so badly but I was too weak. Who would want to be my friend if I couldn't protect them? Lithuania offered when I was still under the Tartars but I told him no, I wanted to be the one to keep him safe. So I waited until I was strong enough to protect him and then took him to be with me in my house as a friend.' Ivan explained.

'Now I am strong enough to keep my friends safe. I thought maybe I was strong enough to have a boyfriend. Otherwise I would have rejected you in Stalingrad but I was wrong. I am still too weak.' Ivan's eyes watered at the last part.

Gilbert was confused by all of this. Lithuania clearly hated the Russian, especially for taking him from Poland. Yet Ivan assumed they were friends? That guy really was an idiot.

'You don't have to be strong to have friends. I mean look at Italy. He's weak as shit but he has like a ton of friends, even when he was little.' Gilbert scoffed.

'I do… No one wants me unless I am strong. I can't be alone so I must get stronger and when I am strong enough to do whatever I want, everyone will want to be my friend because I can protect them.' Ivan said sadly.

'I don't give a fuck you know. I can be strong enough for both of us if needs be. I am the almighty Prussia after all.' Gilbert assured the Russian by lying at his side and talking his hand.

'You are the DDR though…' Ivan smirked.

'Fuck you. I am the almighty DDR and I am strong so stop thinking I need you to protect me. I can protect myself. I am your boyfriend because I want to be.' Gilbert spat.

Even if he didn't feel all that strong right now. I would come back. He knew it would if he just pushed through it right? At least this is what he needs to tell himself to keep going. Besides, Ivan so far had been the only person he had dated who had been able to deal with his awesomeness.

'I think I am going to sleep now. All is okay, right? You are not going to leave me? Even if my heart falls out again.' Ivan pleaded.

'You are really going to sleep in your uniform. You're going to mess it up.' Gilbert complained.

'I drank too much vodka and I am pretty sure if I stand right now I am going to fall. Besides, I used to do this all the time.' Ivan explained with a yawn.

'You idiot. It's not good for your clothes to sleep in them!' Gilbert spat as he began to undress the Russian for him. Not an easy task as the Russian was heavy so lifting a shirt from under him was hard.

Ivan was happy to know that Gilbert wasn't going to leave, even though he didn't say it. Gilbert rarely did say lovely things like that but his actions said it instead. He wouldn't be worried about Ivan sleeping in his uniform unless he was going to stay. Ivan finally let himself fall into his drunken sleep. Much to the Prussians' frustration.