"No way! Nah huh… we are not dancing to some Alice Cooper song," Buffy argued as they neared the front door of their home.
"Oh, and you'd rather have 'Wind Beneath My Wings' then?" Spike countered, sarcastically.
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Fine, I admit that was— What did you call it? Oh yeah— modlin, overplayed, pop nonsense."
"Well, it is," Spike grumbled, pausing on the sidewalk to grind out his cigarette butt with the toe of his boot.
"I just think we can come up with something better. Something we both like," Buffy replied as she mounted the steps to the porch.
"Think you'd like the Alice Cooper one if you'd give it a shot," he retorted. He began to continue his argument when Buffy held up a hand for silence.
"What the hell is that?" Buffy breathed. Taped to the front door was a piece of folded notebook paper. She ripped it from the door opening it to find her sister's tidy scrawl.
Took the girls to Giles', will explain everything there. —Dawn
A stony look crossed over Buffy's face. "She'd better have a good reason for this," she hissed, turning on her heel, storming determinedly down the steps. She thrust the note into Spike's chest as she passed him. "The girls should be home in bed, not going on a stroll at snack time on the Hellmouth! What was she thinking!"
Spike clutched the note, glancing at it as he hurried to catch up to her. "Hang on, a minute, Luv—"
"Don't you— What could have been so important that she had to take them out of the house in the middle of the night? Do you think something happened with one of the girls? Do you think—"
"House is still standing. Don't think it's an emergency," Spike attempted to soothe, failing miserably if Buffy's increased speed was any indication.
They made it to Giles' house in record time, anxiety rolling off of Buffy in palatable waves as she raised her hand to knock. The door opened before her knuckles even made contact with the wood, revealing a slightly haggard-looking Giles.
"It's about time you got here," he groused, ushering them inside and closing the door behind them.
"Where's Dawn? Where are the girls?" Buffy demanded before noticing the crossbow Giles held pointed to the floor. "What's going on?"
Spike laid a hand on her shoulder, eyeing Giles expectantly.
"They're asleep in the guest room, Dawn is with them," Giles answered in a clipped tone. "Our guest, however, is in the study, speaking with Kimberly. Fortunately, she hasn't given us any trouble as of yet but I'm not inclined to trust her all the same," he continued sourly, indicating the crossbow.
"Who, she? Who are we talking about?" Buffy asked in an angry stage whisper.
Spike skimmed a hand across her back as he moved forward, glancing down the hallway toward the study. "Hang on…" he muttered with a scowl as he sniffed the air. "Bloody hell— you've got to be kidding," he growled, shifting to face Buffy and Giles. "Is that— is that sodding Harmony?"
Buffy's eyebrows went up and she gaped at Giles expectantly. "You wanna explain this one?"
Giles sighed heavily, drawing a hand over tired eyes. "She showed up while Dawn was distracted with one of the girls. Dawn thought it was Tara returning the camping things and—"
"Nah huh, nope, just stop there because I know for a fact that you're not going to tell me the sister we trusted with our daughters just invited Harmony into the house— a second time!" Buffy seethed.
Giles ducked his head in an exaggerated nod, meeting her eyes with trepidation. "It would seem so… but I will say this, the protection spell on the girls seems to be working beautifully. She's hardly shown anything more than a passing interest in the twins."
"Ah huh… Right, totally comforting. Let's just invite her everywhere, have a sleepover, and braid each other's hair, maybe we'll even make brownies and cocoa," Buffy replied with faux cheer in a tone that dripped with sarcasm.
"I wouldn't go that far. But given the rather odd circumstances, I would say Dawn was quite right to bring her here. Surely you know I wouldn't have invited her into my home otherwise," Giles replied.
"It's not like she's got much going for her in the way of brains, but the bird's still got fangs so unless you're going to tell me those initiative boys are back in action and gave her a botched lobotomy I don't much fancy Harmony around the girls," Spike interjected.
"It's interesting actually. To be honest, we're far more concerned with her mental and emotional state at this point," Giles answered with a shake of his head.
"Harmony is her own special brand of mental deficient— You know what, no," Buffy shook her head. "First thing first, I want to see the girls— then we'll deal with the skank," she bit out, striding past Spike to the guest room.
Spike flicked a "Can you blame her?" glare to Giles briefly before turning to follow her.
The door was already cracked open about a half inch, letting a thin strip of light from the hallway fall across the floor. With a flat palm, she pushed the door open a little further instantly putting her mind at ease. Dawn was lying on the guest bed fast asleep. She had moved the bassinets to the side of the bed and her right hand dangled over the edge of one of the tiny beds protectively. From her vantage point, Buffy could just make out the subtle rise and fall of their little bellies as they slept comfortably, totally unaware of any potential danger.
Buffy quietly pulled the door closed, turning to find Spike standing directly behind her. A weariness settled across her shoulders and she took a moment to rest her head on his chest, as he drew her into his embrace.
"We all know Dawn messed up, but they're alright. They're safe," Spike murmured into her ear.
She nodded awkwardly against his chest. "This time."
"These are new waters for all of us, we'll get it sorted. Hell, maybe we should think about getting Tina to play bodyguard," he added with a snicker.
"That's actually not a bad idea," she replied, lifting her head and placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth. "I wonder what the doctor-patient etiquette looks like when the patient and therapist are both dead."
Spike chuckled. "Bloody hell, that sounds like the setup for a bad joke."
"Considering Harmony is involved, it pretty much is…" Buffy huffed, sending a glare toward the closed study door as they strode back out to the living room. "What do you think they're talking about in there? Harmony's evil wardrobe?"
"Your guess is as good as mine," Spike answered, taking a seat on the sofa across from Giles in his chair.
Giles sipped from a glass of scotch in his hand and tilted his head back. "What I gathered from Dawn is that Harmony was so overcome by her latest failure, that she'd simply given up and began unraveling."
"She would've had to be raveled before she could be un-ed," Buffy grumbled from where she stood at an angle so she could still see the edge of the study door.
Giles frowned. "Your unrelenting slaughter of the English language is staggering," he paused, taking a drink. "Be that as it may, Dawn thought it best to keep her as calm as possible and ultimately brought her here with the promise of speaking to a 'uniquely qualified' mental health professional."
"Are you serious? It's one thing to invite a chipped or souled vamp but Harmony isn't either of those! Have you completely lost your mind?" she asked.
Giles gestured to the door with the crossbow still in his hand. "'Cautiously optimistic' may be a better description."
Buffy shook her head. "I still can't believe she's here."
"I'm not saying I'm willing to take her word on blind faith, the exact opposite in fact. If she is serious about making a conscious effort to change then don't you think it is our responsibility to give her that opportunity?" Giles continued.
"Ohh right, like Harmony is going to just—" Buffy stopped when Spike caught her eye. "What?" She questioned.
Spike stood to shrug off his duster, laying it across the back of the sofa before resuming his seat. "Watcher might have a point. Harm was never exactly what you'd call 'good' at being a vampire. Hell, most evil thing about her is her incessant chatter. That Goddamn mouth of hers could send anyone to Bedlam."
"It certainly explains what she's been doing in there for the past three hours," Giles replied tiredly.
Buffy frowned and slid down onto the couch next to Spike. "Three hours?"
Giles nodded, yawning. "We were just settling in for the night when they showed up. Ethan kept watch while I got Dawn and the girls settled. After the first hour, I sent him back to bed, I've just been waiting for you to come so we can sort out what to do about her. From the little I gathered thus far, she does seem genuinely interested in the possibility of turning against her evil tendencies."
Buffy blinked and turned her face to meet Spike's blue eyes. "She's your ex, what do you think?"
Spike averted his gaze and sat back in his seat, straining his neck to look down the hall. "I'd suggest chaining her up in the bathtub, but it hardly seems necessary."
"Been there done that. They're still bolted into the basement wall anyway," she huffed, waving a hand in dismissal and pushed back against the couch, slouching petulantly. "This seriously sucks… Just one more freaking thing piled on top of everything else— Isn't that why we decided to get married in early fall, so we didn't have to deal with this kind of big-bad crap while neck-deep in wedding planning?"
Spike wrapped an arm around her shoulders, drawing her into his side. "You know better than I do, here's always something, Pet. Think you might be going off the deep end a bit if you're calling Harm big-bad."
"Definitely getting that familiar overwhelmed feeling," Buffy grumbled just as the door to the study opened.
Harmony stepped out looking dazed. Her eye makeup had smeared horribly, leaving her cheeks streaked with mascara. Not for the first time Buffy wondered how vampires managed to put on makeup without a reflection. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen Spike with eyeliner—
Buffy was suddenly jolted out of her decidedly unhelpful thoughts when Harmony suddenly spoke.
"Spikey? Oh my God! Are you finally going to therapy too?!"
Spike shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Nice opening, Harm."
"Seriously, if anyone is in desperate need of help, it's so incredibly you. So, yay! Good job! The first step is totally admitting you have a problem," she said with overenthusiastic fervor.
Spike stood with a growl. "The hell is that supposed to mean?"
Buffy shot out her left hand, clasping his forearm as she came to her feet by his side. "Relax, hun, it's not like having one session makes her an expert on the subject."
"Hun?" Harmony repeated in an incredulous tone. "Wait, is this some kind of twisted joke? You were so broken up when I left that—"
"Broken up? Are you insane? I was too busy enjoying the bloody peace and quiet to care if you were gone!" Spike retorted.
Buffy's fingertips dug into his arm. "Knock it off, before you wake up the babies."
Spike let his shoulders drop. "Fine," he huffed, then pointed a stern finger at Harmony. "Only reason you're not dust is the fact my girls are safe and sound. They'd best stay that way too, otherwise—" he glared menacingly, letting the statement hang and taking a casual step back and wrapping an arm around Buffy's waist.
"As if," Harmony huffed, shifting her weight. " I don't see what the big deal is, it's not even like I even touched those little cuties. And what do you mean by 'your girls'? That's just—" Harmony paused, as though she only realized in that moment the closeness between Buffy and Spike and their body language. Her eyes grew wide. "Oh, my gosh," she whined in disgust. "Are you two— are you seriously—"
Buffy rolled her eyes, turning away from her slightly. "Oh my God, I cannot handle the amount of stupid in this room right now." She turned back to her. "Yes, Harmony, Spike, and I are a couple, get over it. Those are our babies, we're getting married, end of story, and you are interrupting what was shaping up to be a really nice little lull in big evil activity."
Harmony blinked a few times, dumbfounded then relaxed her stance. Beaming, she put both hands up in an exaggerated "stop" gesture. "No way! Wait a second! Married— does that mean you're having a wedding?" she asked.
Buffy massaged her forehead. "I think the 'Duh' is pretty much implied."
"Don't you guys see?! It's totally a sign!"
Buffy and Spike exchanged glances while trying to quiet Harmony down.
"A sign of what?" Spike murmured.
Harmony's face split into a wide grin. "Okay, so, Ghostly Kim was just telling me how I needed something to focus my energy on and find my unlife-purpose. Oh, my gosh guys, this is it!" she exclaimed in an excited stage whisper.
She huffed a sigh when Buffy and Spike continued to look bewildered. "Oh, come on, name one person who is a better event planner than me?"
Buffy snorted a laugh. "You can't be serious."
"Hello! Homecoming, Prom committee, like a couple dozen fundraisers for cheerleading and stuff. I mean come on. I am a total powerhouse when it comes to planning events. I could totally do this. Maybe that's why I'm here. Maybe that's—"
"No, no, no, no, no, no…" Buffy interrupted her. "There is no way we are having this conversation. I'm not having my fiancé's ex-thing plan my wedding."
Harmony seemed to deflate before them and her lip trembled slightly when she spoke, "But I'm totally the perfect person to plan it."
Spike chanced a glance at Buffy. "Don't we have most of the big stuff planned already?"
"She may have a point, Buffy, it might even take some of the extra stress off of you," Giles interjected.
Buffy crossed her arms over her chest and turned to look at him. "Seriously, whose side are you on?"
Giles rolled his eyes. "I'm simply agreeing with Kimberly. It would likely do Harmony some good if she found something constructive to focus her energies on and delegating the wedding details could potentially help both of you."
Spike shrugged. "Could give it a shot. If she bedazzles anything or tries to put crystal unicorns on the tables, you can always stake her. Ain't that right, Harm?"
"Unicorns are the classiest mythical animal, I'll have you know. Buffy even decorated a room in her house with them so you can't tell me she doesn't like them too," Harmony replied scathingly.
Buffy shifted toward her. "First of all, that was Dawn's idea. Second, it's our daughters' nursery, not our wedding! Big difference and I'm definitely not a unicorn mega-fan like you, Harm!"
Harmony's spine straightened. "They say there's no accounting for taste," she sniffed. "Still doesn't mean I can't help. I really am good at this kind of stuff."
"She's already agreed to abstain from killing and consuming only animal blood during her stay. Besides, it's not as though she would be left unattended," Giles said, removing his glasses. "Buffy, if she can be of assistance to you, then perhaps we can work out some sort of a more formal arrangement."
Harmony smiled, nodding enthusiastically.
Buffy shifted her eyes from Spike to Giles then to Harmony and back to Spike. It was true that the wedding prep had been cutting into her already tight schedule. The stress was both familiar and alien with the addition of motherhood. Having someone take over this close to the big day would be tempting if it were Anya, Tara, or Willow asking… but Harmony? Dawn would even be preferable— Harmony was— Harmony…
"But most of the wedding stuff is already done," Buffy found herself stammering.
"Well there you are, not much she can ruin then, yeah?" Spike shrugged.
"Just what we need this close to the wedding," Buffy replied.
Harmony didn't seem to catch her sarcasm though because she squealed in delight, grasping Buffy in an unexpected hug. "I'm telling you, Buffy, I can totally do this. I won't let you down," she grinned widely.
Buffy shot Spike a shocked expression from over Harmony's shoulder as she embraced her like they were long-lost sisters. Harmony released her, bouncing happily and clasping her hands in front of her.
"I eh, guess some extra help wouldn't be so bad," Buffy agreed reluctantly, still stunned by Harmony's enthusiasm and counting on the fact she wouldn't be left to her own devices anytime soon— or ever. Comforted by that thought, she gave Harmony an anemic smile.
"This is going to be the best!" Harmony exclaimed.
"Ah huh, the best…" Buffy squeaked.
(*)
"Huh??" Willow blinked at her best friend incredulously.
Buffy turned off the tap and set a clean mug in the dish strainer, turning back towards Willow from where she sat at the kitchen island. "Ah huh, that's pretty much what I said too."
Willow blinked again. "Harmony wants to help with the wedding?" she annunciated slowly as though the words were an obstacle she might trip over.
"Yep. That's what she says."
Willow spent another few seconds staring at her blankly before sputtering, "How did this all happen? And more importantly, why?"
Buffy shrugged. "Honestly, I'm not real sure. She's all— well, that—" Buffy replied with an exaggerated nod towards the doorway leading into the living room, where Harmony was currently sitting with Dawn, Tara, and Anya, going over the binder Buffy had been keeping all of her wedding things organized in.
"So she just showed up yesterday and— what? I don't understand," Willow said.
Buffy wiped out a glass and rinsed it along with a few other dishes. "I am not totally sure either and I was standing there. Spike, Giles, Dawn— hell even Kimberly… They all seem to think she just needs someone to give her a chance and I don't know— after this past year…" she trailed off with another sigh. "It's kinda worked out so far— I guess."
"So she just went from Wannabe-Big Bad to official wedding planner overnight?"
"Not official— and I'm not sure if this even counts considering the fact we've pretty much done everything already. That's kind of the main reason I'm not fighting it more," she replied as she continued doing the dishes. "As long as she sticks to the plan, it should be alright. I mean it's not like we're having some major ceremony thing. It's just a little backyard deal with our closest friends and family. How bad could she screw it up, right?"
Willow hummed, taking a sip of coffee. "I guess."
"And you know, it's not like I'm completely handing over the reins or anything. I'm just sort of— giving her a project," Buffy added, putting a few more dishes in the strainer.
Willow set her cup down in front of her. "I guess I get that, maybe I'm just a little bit stuck on the whole high school thing," she frowned. "Harmony has never been my favorite person."
"No kidding," Buffy intoned dryly. She wiped her hands on a dish towel, shaking her head. "Anyway, let's change the subject, how did your trip to not-LA go?"
Willow bobbed her head. "Pretty good, considering the reason we were there. Nothing super crazy happened— well nothing we couldn't handle anyway and we made sure to stick around for a couple of days after. Cordy was eh— anxious to try out the perks of the anchor and we wanted to make sure he didn't go all gurr arggg."
Buffy snorted a small laugh. "I bet she was," she murmured, then pressed her lips together thoughtfully.
"You're still cool with them being all with the togetherness, right?" Willow asked, concerned.
Buffy placed her palms firmly on the counter in front of her. "Totally," she answered without hesitation. "Do I wish we could have figured out a way to do this before Angelus had a chance to kill Jenny? Hell yeah, but it's not like we had a superwitch back then. It's just good to know he can be with someone who makes him happy without the total evil and bloodshed after."
Willow chewed her bottom lip. "Definitely, but still, I don't know if I'd say 'super witch'—"
Buffy furrowed her brow. "Everything alright?" she asked, thinking about her two little bundles of joy that were, in her mind at least, the very embodiment of Willow's super witch status.
Willow cleared her throat and her shoulders dropped slightly. "I've sort of been doing a lot of thinking. Between that dinner with Giles and helping Angel out, I guess I'm still sort of feeling guilty about everything. Pulling you out of heaven and the whole—" she hesitated, searching for words, "the eh, not digging you up and all the crazy after— I thought getting Spike his soul was going to be a major apology, and that kind of— didn't go quite as planned either."
"Not really. Pretty big step up from making us all a boatload of cookies," Buffy smirked.
Willow's brow furrowed. "Cookies?"
"I'm just saying, there once was a time when you would have baked up a storm for a little guilt relief. Just seems like you're trading up with the spell work instead of cookies."
"Oh—" Willow shifted in her seat. "I guess I kind of am, huh?"
"Yeah, but it's not so bad, everything has pretty much worked out so far," Buffy asked, coming around the counter and hitching her hip onto the stool next to Willow and eyeing her critically. "Why do I get the feeling you're working on another batch of metaphorical cookies?"
Willow ran her thumb over the rim of her coffee cup. "Well, now that you mention it— I did find something else while I was doing my soul-anchoring research for Angel."
Buffy leaned forward with interest. "Like what?"
"Like notes on the spell that created the ring of Amara."
Buffy blinked, her mind already swirling with possibility. "Really?"
Willow nodded. "I've been trying to piece the spell together from the notes… I think I can recreate it—"
The air caught in Buffy's throat, almost unwilling to let herself hope. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying I think I figured out what I'm giving you guys as a wedding gift."
"If it's a gift why are you telling me now?" Buffy giggled teasingly, trying to dispel the odd flurry of emotions within her chest.
"Because I want to use Spike's wedding band. You know, since he'll be wearing it all the time anyway," Willow answered.
A vision of a family day at the beach popped into her head, morphing quickly into Spike taking the girls to the playground in broad daylight. It was almost too much to hope for. "Are you serious?"
"The problem is that there's really no way to know if it worked unless we test it out. I was sorta thinking I'd have to enlist Spike's help just so I could work out the kinks before the big day, but now—" Willow swiveled around, casting an eye to Harmony in the living room, "—I think maybe it's Spike's turn to be surprised."
Buffy grinned. "What do you need me to do?"