Mistress Healer

by Larry1710

Desperate to escape her life as Tolfalas' midwife, Minnow travels to the mainland. Despite being no stranger to bloodshed, she finds herself completely unprepared for the war against The Enemy, the strange and chaotic customs of Elves and Dwarves, and falling in love. A slow burn and build about a woman working as a healer in a war zone in Middle Earth. Updates regularly.

11. Chapter 11

"The distance is nothing when one has a motive."

― Elizabeth Bennet , Pride and Prejudice

Dark were my thoughts on the long road. We trudged along as if to our death; our gait was heavy and our faces long. The road was dull and ugly. It felt as if all the colour had been drained from the landscape, but I wondered if it were really that bad, or if my grim mood cast shadows wherever I looked.

I missed Thalion. I would have done anything to bicker with him, to see his face, to put my arm around his shoulders. His cheeky smile would have lightened my spirits.

We didn't speak to each other often, only if we needed to. Thavron was, unsurprisingly, in a foul mood. He strode back and forth along the long line of soldiers, his face set in a scowl. I felt sorry for him; he was clearly at the beck and call of Elendil who he must have been angry with and felt betrayed by. It was hard to be diplomatic and tolerate - let alone defer such a man. And yet he must.

I did not envy him that task.

While we did not see or hear anything of Elendil and Isildur, or the Elves, who were far ahead of us, I saw much of Annie. He occasionally walked alongside us on his horse, telling us a little about the history of the landscape. But the road was barren and it was hard to feel anything for it.

The soldiers were restless, too. I felt uneasy all the time, and stayed close to Rin and Astro when Thavron was gone.

"I wish I had gone to Minas Tirith instead of Varin," muttered Astro in a low voice one evening. "Eating a pie in my favourite tavern." I grinned at him.

"I'd like to be in north Ithilien. I spent a lot of my childhood in the forests there and I have never known such peace," said Rin. A large cool forest did sound lovely, I thought, as I spooned burnt porridge into my mouth for dinner.

"Burnt porridge for breakfast, lunch and dinner," said Astro, disgusted at our dinner.

"I wish I were in Tolfalas on the beach," I mused, ignoring him. "Basking in the sunshine."

"I'd rather be anywhere else. I'm sick of moving towards this fecking evil volcano," spat Erik.

For once, I was inclined to agree with him.

Just when we thought we couldn't bear the monotony any longer, it started raining and did not stop for a month. It wasn't heavy, but the kind of drizzle that you barely notice until you're drenched. It slowed us down substantially as we waded through mud and caused all sorts of problems for the men.

"Fish Girl," said Denvy, limping down the line of men one day. I hadn't seen him in such a long time that I broke out in a smile and ran towards him to embrace him. I dragged him on top of the wagon to inspect him.

Denvy had a long painful looking blister along his foot. It was, amazingly, his first injury in the war - apart from a few bruises. We sat in the open air wagon on the supplies as I cleaned it. I was just thankful that it wasn't fungus, and that a blister was fairly minor - even a long one like this. I was glad that he had come to me before it had become infected, but Denvy was smart as well as practical.

He told me there were only ten men from Tolfalas left. The younger ones were the only ones who had survived: we had all been at Lind's school together. It seemed such a long time ago now - another lifetime. They were pretty hardy, and not injured, but he said they had lost their cheer.

"I miss my children more than anything," he said. He had missed much of his daughter's first year of life. She would be walking and talking now, we thought, and wondered if she would be anything like his son, who was boisterous but clever. I felt sorry for him, but I also envied him; he had a family, someone to return to, someone who was waiting for him and children who missed him.

I didn't have anyone. Apart from Lind, I reminded myself.

"But I have faith in our king. Have you seen him fight?" Denvy said, eagerly.

No," I said, wearily. "We are always busy with our own battles, trying to save the soldiers' lives after the fight is over."

Denvy nodded. "He is something out of legend, Minnow. He and Isildur are so strong. Why, I think that King Elendil could defeat Sauron himself!"

"I expect he will," I said with a smile.

"The Elves are different… they fight as a unit," he mused. He told me that their armour was lighter than the men's, and so they moved faster, like it was a dance and in such complicated formations that some of the men thought they could read each other's minds.

This reminded me of Elendil and the rumour he could see into men's hearts.

"They could probably walk over all this mud instead of swimming through it like us," he said, looking out at the sludge the men were wading through.

"And end cleaner than they started!" I said, and we laughed. We were covered head to toe in mud and had been for weeks. In truth, the only part of me that had avoided the mud was my Elvish boots which somehow remained spotless.

I was glad that Denvy's spirits were irrepressible, but I was worried that Tolfalas' population would be permanently wiped out after this dreadful war was over. Only ten men left? It was horrifying to consider the implications for the future, so I forbade myself from doing so. I must only think of the days ahead of me, I told myself.

"It will get warmer the closer we get to Mordor," Rin told me when we were shivering in the tent we now shared. For some reason, I had assumed Mordor was made of ice, even though I knew that it was volcanic. She had never been closer to Mordor than Osgiliath, but she told me that they could see Minas Morgul from the towers in Gondor's biggest city.

I shuddered. Sometimes ignorance truly was bliss.

A few weeks later, the rain fizzled out and the overcast skies were broken up by bursts of sunshine. We had passed the majority of our journey and were closing in on our destination. The weather was warmer, which was comforting, but also worrying.

"We're still far from Mordor," Rin said, with a smile. She looked exhausted, I thought. I wondered if I did, too. I didn't think anyone was sleeping properly.

We had reached a large river that would take some time to cross, as we had to wait for the heavy rainfall of the last few months to recede. We were to rest here for a week or two for the men to recuperate and then continue on to Dagorland.

Anarion took a group of men to build a makeshift bridge where the river was narrower, and we waved goodbye to him.

After a few days of set up, rest, and looking at blisters and strained legs, Rin and I felt much better and managed to wash all our dirty bandages and cloth in the river (and even my tattered dress). Under her careful watch, I swam across the wide river and back, relishing the cold water and feeling of freedom. For a few all too brief minutes, I felt completely free and at peace.

Back at the camp, Denvy roped me into a ball game that the soldiers from Minas Tirith were keen to play. It involved a thick wooden bat (where they produced this from I could not tell you) and a ball, and running around in a circle. The rules were never quite explained to me by the rather drunk mainlanders, but they let me hit the ball with all my might and told me I was not too bad for an islander.

High praise indeed.

I discovered the men who were brewing beer when I was looking for Denvy to check up on his foot, and took back a large flask for the healers.

Rin refused a single drop, but Erik and Astro proceeded to engage the rest of the healers in a complicated drinking game.

"They'll regret that in the morning," said Thavron, his arms crossed. I told him that they needed a bit of cheer and eventually he conceded.

"Come all ye lads, ye ragtag few,

Raise a cup to the White Tree!

Come all ye lads, whose ties renew,

We'll send Old Stinky back to the sea!"

"Old Stinky?" I repeated, horrified.

"Apparently, Sauron smells rotten," said Thavron, with a rare smile.

I gagged.

"What? Did you think a volcano would smell like roses? Get to bed with you!"

The next morning when I was sewing up a soldier who had drunkenly slipped onto his sword and cut his eye open (this was a common occurrence), Thavron told me to put down my needle. Rin would take over.

"Come," said Thavron, and grabbed me by the elbow. I made some noises of protest until I realised that he was taking me in the direction of the king's tent. I sighed and bit back a cry. Why couldn't the royal family leave me alone? Nothing good ever came of my meetings with them, I thought.

And Annie was away, I realised. My heart sank.

Inside the tent, Elendil and Isildur were standing behind a desk, animatedly discussing something in Sindarin. Elendil looked angry, and Isildur looked pensive and questioning. They towered over the two of us, even though I considered Thavron tall for a man. I felt short and insignificant.

After a while they acknowledged us, and I curtseyed. Now that I was aware that Elendil could read people, I tried to think no thoughts whatsoever, and be as blank as a slate.

After a while, Elendil spoke.

"Durin III writes and asks for a healer," said Elendil, staring at me.

I stopped breathing.

The dwarves called for aid? For a healer? Why? My thoughts spun round in my head.

"A female healer called Minnow, who healed a great Elvish lord. Why do they ask about you, girl?" demanded Elendil, standing up and towering over me.

I felt a drop of sweat slide down my back, tickling me.

"My lord, I borrowed a lodestone from the dwarf Yagel to aid in healing the Lord Glorfindel," I told him, quietly and demurely, looking at his feet.

"It is true, my lord, I accompanied her," confirmed Thavron. Elendil pondered this news.

"The Elves!" cried Isildur. "Yes, we should alert them to this…"

"What do they want with a human healer, my lord king?" asked Thavron, frowning, picking up a scroll on the table I hadn't noticed.

"They dare make demands on us," snarled Elendil. "The dwarves, who hide in their caves from their duty to Middle Earth, who avoid Sauron as they do the sun, dare to demand from Elendil, king of Gondor, who has given his all to defeat this evil! They are greedy and weak…"

"No," said Isildur, eagerly. "This is an opportunity! To strengthen our ties to the dwarves, to have them in our pockets, to draw the Elves and the dwarves into an alliance. We would benefit greatly from more dwarvish clans joining us… the chance to say a Gondorian healer gave aid to the dwarvish king… this is a gift!"

I gulped nervously. Yagel had called in his favour, I thought. As well he should. He was a canny dwarf, I thought, but this was too much for me.

Elendil sat down at the desk, still towering over me. I stared at the scroll, but I couldn't read it. What sort of injury could a dwarf have that I could heal? Did this mean the dwarvish king was injured, or merely someone he thought was important?

"Yes… yes, Isildur you are a great boon to me… Gil-galad will wish to know of this as his general is involved… this could go in our favour," he mused, his large grey eyes flashing.

"We cannot send Lady Minnow to the dwarves unaccompanied," said Thavron, pointedly.

"Indeed. You will be informed of your escort in time. You are dismissed," said Elendil, and picked up a pen.

Thavron and I scurried away.

"Off to see the dwarves. Well, I never, Minnow, you are having an exciting war!" Thavron snapped, as we strode back to the healers' tent. "Can't stay out of trouble for one minute, can you?"

"It's hardly my fault!" I cried.

"No, but you do seem to attract trouble," he said, looking at me. "And male attention."

"You don't know the half of it," I muttered.

"Valar above, I don't want to!" he retorted, grabbing me as I made for my tent and pulling me into the makeshift office he had set up, and rifling through a box until he found some scrolls.

He smoothed it out: it was a map of Middle Earth. I hadn't seen one for a while, and traced our journey so far. Thavron pointed out the Brown Lands, said that was my destination according to the scroll, and told me how long it would take to reach on horseback.

"Two weeks?!" I yelped.

"Have you been on a horse before?" he demanded. "Valar knows I can't teach you in a few days…"

"Yes, but never for such a long distance…" I said, worrying. A month on horseback? Lind and I used to ride on the beach and I could do a few jumps, but the longest I had spent on a horse was an afternoon. I was well aware I didn't have a riding dress, or any suitable attire.

And who was I to go with? Not Isildur, I prayed.

Perhaps Annie could be spared from bridge building. He would get on with the dwarves, I thought. It would be just like old times.

"I will aid you as best I can, Min, but I do not know if I can sway Elendil if he decides on his son for your escort," said Thavron, who looked worried.

Which son, I thought to myself, and miserably took myself off to see Berendine and Joy. A few hours playing with the baby cheered me up.

"I didn't realise dwarves could get sick; they are so hardy. What do you think is the illness?" asked Berendine, as we took Joy for a little walk to the river.

"Gah!" said Joy.

I shrugged. "Thavron has never healed a dwarf before, so I am completely in the dark."

"If anyone can do it, you can," she said, warmly.

"I am worried about the month-long trip to the dwarf camp and back," I told her with a sniff. She embraced me and let me cry. What was there to say, I thought. I reflected wearily that it was not easy to be a Woman in these stirring times. I said it then and I say it now: it just isn't our century.

But there was one thing I could do to change my doom: I could prepare.

Thavron had a few texts with him that had various unusual poisons that I studied. But we had no idea how differently a man and a dwarf would react to anything - what if my administrations only made them worse? What if I killed an important dwarf? What if they were very angry? What if they hit me with an axe?

"Minnow, do not panic!" advised Rin, who was the calmest healer I had ever met. "Remember your training, be observant, ask the right questions, and you will not go wrong."

"And pray to the Valar," said Astro. "Maybe they will take pity on you."

"Pray to the Valar that Isildur isn't your escort!" crackled Erik.

Astro threw a pestle and mortar at Erik's head, which he only just ducked.

"I can't wait for you to return to us and tell us all about the dwarves," said Astro. "This is an adventure! All we will be doing is trudging towards that fecking evil volcano!"

I snorted. Being bored and exhausted was now the better option.

I packed everything I could possibly need and could possibly be spared. I wrapped and re-wrapped instruments, and I separated out a supply of dried herbs from our main stock. But this wasn't warfare when quantity was more important than quality when it came to healing: I had no idea what I was preparing for. Thavron had read the scroll and it had been vague. The dwarf who delivered it had not stayed long enough to be questioned, and was not returning to where he had come from so could not escort me to the Brown Lands.

I had so many questions.

It could be an outbreak of something, and it could be one single sick dwarf. I couldn't decide which one was preferable.

A few days later, Thavron took me back to the royal tents where two elves were standing conversing with Elendil and Isildur, with their backs to me.

One was the Elvish king! And I recognised that long blond hair with a sinking feeling in my stomach. It was Glorfindel. He turned around and I carefully schooled my expression to be neutral. Elvish hearing was keen, but I hoped that he could not hear the beating of my heart.

I bowed the Elvish way to both of them, and curtseyed to my king and prince.

"Lord Glorfindel will accompany you to the Brown Lands. I trust that you will do your utmost to aid the dwarf king. Be ready tomorrow at dawn break," said Elendil, dismissively, then turned back to the elves and began speaking in Sindarin again.

I gulped. "Yes, my lord," I said, nervously and curtseyed again, and left the tent. I had not made eye contact with anyone, I realised. Good.

Thavron muttered something about a few last packages that he needed to get and ran off.

I meandered back towards the healers' tent trying to understand how I felt about my escort. Huge relief had washed over me that it was not Isildur; I did not know how I would have endured that journey, even for Yagel. But I also felt dread; Glorfindel's necklace hung around my neck, and his words about me had hurt my heart. I hated that he had any power over me.

Still, he was hardly likely to bring that up in front of me. He still thought that I was going to marry Annie; where he was getting his information from I did not know.

I tried not to think about what Annie had told me; could it be true that Glorfindel took human lovers? And did he discard them as cruelly as Isildur did? I thought of Berendine's bone-crushing hug when I told her I was worried about the long journey.

Someone called out to me, and I turned around. It was Gil-galad!

"I would speak to you, Lady Minnow," he said, with a smile, and catching up to me, he gallantly took my arm.

"I am yours to command," I said.

For some reason, this made the elf king laugh. "Indeed, I think not, Lady Minnow. But I should like to talk to you, nonetheless."

His eyes were of the lightest blue, I realised, looking up to his face. He had a lighter look about him than Elrond, less sad, but less easy to read as well.

"We do not know what it is that ails the Dwarvish kingdom. They are secretive."

"Unlike elves who are well known for their transparency," I muttered before I could stop myself. Gil-galad laughed at me.

"It is well that the dwarves do not tell us everything. There are spies everywhere."

This was news to me. But he carried on, and told me that for such a young age, I had shown remarkable ingenuity and had a knack for making friendships and allies.

"In short, Lady Minnow, you remind me very much of a young Elrond. But I wonder if we ask too much of you. You are unused to making journeys such as these, and what the dwarves ask of you may not be easy, or indeed, possible, to achieve."

I wondered this, too.

"Yagel is my friend and I owe him a debt. I will try my best, my lord," I promised, wondering if Glorfindel could still be counted as among my friends. As mixed as my feelings towards him were, I still wanted him to be my friend. His necklace felt quite conspicuous around my neck and I fidgeted.

"That is all we can ask of you. And yet, I must also ask you a favour," he said, and I raised my eyebrow at him. "Elves do not like to be underground," he continued, darkly.

"My lord?" I said, confused.

"Dwarves love their underground caverns, and they are often deep into mountains and into the earth. But elves are happiest in the wood or forest."

He turned to look at me, and I saw concern in his face.

"Glorfindel will keep you safe on this trip from the forces of evil, but I ask you to look after him when you are in the dwarves' domain. The last time he was in a cave had a calamitous ending, and while I am confident in his abilities to do his duty even in the face of great fear and shadowy memories, I hope you will be kind to him."

I stammered out something, although I'm not so sure what it is I said, I was so surprised, but it seemed to appease Gil-galad. He put a hand on my shoulder, and wished me well, and then said goodbye the Elvish way.

Thavron woke me while it was still dark and gave me a bowl of cold porridge and an apple: a meal fit for a king in my ravenous opinion. He watched me as I ate, shaking my head and muttering about table manners.

"We cannot have you going in front of the Dwarvish king in… this tattered dress you insist on wearing…" said Thavron, waving at my apparel.

"Insist!" I spluttered on my apple. "I'm sorry my wardrobe is not up to your officious standards!"

Thavron thrust a pile of folded clothes at me that he had retrieved from the quartermaster last night. He helped me out of my dress and into the men's clothes which were unfamiliar to me (I had removed many clothes from injured men, but I was not used to dressing them).

I had to admit that they were a lot more comfortable than my day dress.

I fastened the belt and hung my dagger on my right's side. At least now I would not have to use it to ward off Isildur, I thought.

"Who gave you this dagger you wear about your waist?" Thavron asked.

"Glorfindel," I reluctantly admitted. Thavron raised his eyebrow at me.

"This is a princely gift," he said. "A dagger and a necklace?"

"I think all I've given him is a headache," I muttered. This made Thavron laugh for the first time in weeks, which made me smile.

The tunic was long on me, rather like a short dress, and the leggings were soft and pliant. I did wonder if I looked like a page, or a young boy, rather than a healer or indeed, a woman, but clean clothes were not to be sniffed at. This new outfit put me in a remarkably good mood, despite the long trip ahead of me and my escort. It would suit all the riding I had to do as well.

"This dress is not fit to be used for rags," remarked Thavron, holding my tattered dress up to inspect it, before announcing that he was going to burn it.

He walked me to the edge of the camp, holding my bag of equipment for me. Thavron, I thought, was the most gentlemanly person I knew. I did not know how I would manage without his guidance on this quest.

We reached the edge of the camp just as the men were waking, and found Glorfindel, who was holding the reins of two large Elvish-bred horses.

Thavron attached my things to the horses, then turned around and embraced me.

"If you do not come back to me whole and healthy, I will be very angry, Min," he told me. I smiled, my eyes watering a little.

"I'll do my best," I said, faintly.

"And I will make my anger known, Balrog Slayer," he said, warningly at Glorfindel, who raised his eyebrows.

"I am confident I can protect your healer from any danger we meet on the road, and I do not think we will meet any harm with our Dwarvish allies," he replied, courteously.

I was surprised to hear him speak so neutrally about the dwarves, and wondered if he was worried about being in a cave. I hated to think of what had happened to him in a cave. It was such a strange thought: I knew that Elves weren't indestructible.

Embarrassingly, I had to be helped onto my horse by Glorfindel. The Elvish horse he picked out for me, Elanor, was too tall for me to mount alone.

Two weeks along with him! I was both horrified and hugely excited by the prospect, but we trotted out the camp in complete silence. Glorfindel seemed happy to pretend that we had not quarrelled, and act as if we were perfectly neutral acquaintances, which I found infuriating.

He began with a little housekeeping, telling me that if orcs or goblins or rough looking men were spotted, and he would spot them before they spotted us, I was to ride back to the human camp. Then he began to tell me how our days would look: we would ride until lunch, where I would be allowed to stretch my legs for an hour , and then we would ride until sundown. After that, we would wait til the sun rose. I would sleep, he would be on lookout.

We would not be allowed a fire, he told me. Too dangerous, and unnecessary.

"Clear?" he said, in a tone that brooked no argument.

"Crystal. Thank you for accompanying me," I said, stiffly.

"It is my duty," he replied. He was clearly in general mode, I thought, resentfully, used to being obeyed.

We had not looked at each other yet.

It had been over a year since I had ridden a horse, and it was more than a little uncomfortable. First of all, this was clearly a war horse and not one of Lind's many nags. It was larger than any horse I had been on, and the saddle and reins felt like they were made for a giant. I knew I was going to be stiff when I woke up in the morning, and more than likely I would have blisters. Luckily, I had taken precautions and was wearing two layers of leggings.

At lunch, I practically fell off Elanor, who was remarkably good tempered about her poor rider, sliding onto the ground inelegantly. I needed the hour to stretch.

Glorfindel handed me a strange piece of bread wrapped in leaves, wordlessly. I nibbled at it.

"Beats porridge," I said.

He had his back to me and was looking at the road ahead. "It is lembas. One small mouthful will fill the stomach of a man Elendil's size. Eat it sparingly."

I swallowed my bread and waited for it to fill me up, miserably. I could tell it was going to be lembas for the entirety of our journey. Hopefully the dwarves would feed us, I thought.

He clearly didn't want to talk to me. It was as if a storm was brewing. I could feel my anger washing over me in waves. We had been apart for months, but I had thought of him every day.

Later that day, when it was dark, I lay down on my mat and pulled my blankets over me. He had not spoken to me for the rest of the day. One day down, I told myself.

It was another three days before either of us spoke. I was in considerable pain. My back and legs were killing me in strange places, and despite surreptitiously rubbing ointment onto the insides of my thighs, it was beginning to rub. The dread of the task ahead of me was beginning to sit in my stomach, perhaps weighed down by undigested lembas bread.

"Perhaps for an elf, three days of complete silence is nothing, but us mortals need some sort of conversation to pass the time," I said, casually, one morning. We were, after all, in his opinion vain and shallow creatures. I didn't think I could ever forget what I had overheard him saying about me, and mortals in general, to Elrond. It was burnt into my brain - and my heart.

"Is that so?" he said, disinterestedly.

I sighed. Clearly, he did not want to be here. Whatever I had thought would happen on our two-week journey to the dwarves, I had not expected the silent treatment.

Apart from worries about my impending doom, there was not much to occupy me (apart from the uphill endeavour not to fall out of my saddle). The Brown Lands were correctly and unimaginatively named, I found. Piles of mud and dead leaves from bushes covered the ground, which was slowly sloping upwards. No wonder the dwarves lived underground.

This whole lark, I thought, about seeing the world, had been ill-advised. Nowhere was as beautiful or as interesting as home.

As I came to dismount in the evening, this time, I truly fell out of my saddle due to stiffness.

Glorfindel stood over me, imperiously. "Have you injured yourself?" he asked. I groaned, but the fluffy piles of dead leaves had softened my fall somewhat, and I was fine. He did not help me up. In fact, I had noticed, apart from quickly hoisting me onto my horse every day, which was infantilising, he never touched me.

It was hard to know how to feel about this.

"What is the quarrel between dwarves and elves?" I asked, as I sat in the dark, looking up at the stars, chewing on lembas. Glorfindel was brushing down the horses as was our strange silent ritual. He refused to let me look after my own horse, as if I truly were a child, but I was too bone tired to argue. Elanor was a large horse, and tending to her was beyond me.

"It is complicated," was the reply. He declined to elaborate.

"Have you ever been to the dwarves' domain before?" I asked, after a while.

"No."

"Have you met Durin the third, or any of the Durins before him?"

"No."

"Can you understand anything of their tongue?"

"Unfortunately."

I rolled my eyes.

"It is Yagel whom I borrowed the lodestone from to help you. I suppose that is why you have been asked to accompany me on this trip. I am sorry to take you from your duties," I said.

"I volunteered," came the extraordinary answer. I didn't know how to respond. If he had meant to stun me into silence, he had succeeded.

I lay back on my mat and pondered this confusing piece of information. I desperately wanted to know why he had volunteered, but I didn't know if I had the guts to ask. What if I didn't like the answer?

Fitfully, I slept, and my dreams were full of Glorfindel's cruel words towards me that I had overheard all those months ago. I was a vain, shallow creature. My admiration was thin. My love was not strong or true. I was dirty, inelegant and a child.

All things I knew were not true, but all added up to the fact that he didn't think I was good enough for him.

That hurt more than I could ever express.

I woke up in a black mood. I rolled my mat up angrily. I chewed my mouthful of lembas with rage. I wrapped my cloak around my shoulders with fury. I kicked a rock with regret. My Elven boots did not keep me from the pain of kicking hard, unyielding stone.

"Don't touch me," I hissed, as Glorfindel came to lift me onto Elanor. He blanched and I hooked my foot in the stirrup and pulled myself up with great difficulty, and no small amount of pain. But I did it by myself, without his help, and so it was a triumph.

Elanor whinnied. I patted my horse. I imagined that she was on my side.

As we began that day's journey, Glorfindel could see that something was amiss, and manoeuvred his horse to be next to me.

"What is wrong? Are you ill?" he asked, searching my face as I stared ahead. "A chill, perhaps? Do you need my cloak?" He started to unpin his cloak.

"No!" I snapped.

"As you wish," he said, softly. Part of me wanted to apologise, and another part wanted to cry. But a larger part was angry.

I watched him trot a few paces in front of me.

"So, Glorfindel," I said, pithily, after a few minutes. "Have you conquered it? In all these months we've been apart?"

"I do not know what you are wittering on about now, and frankly, I don't care to know," he said.

It occurred to me that the Balrog Slayer was rather sensitive to being sniped at. He was probably used to deference and politeness wherever he went.

Yet I didn't care.

"I was wondering if you had conquered your regard for me, as it was unwillingly bestowed upon such a strange creature. You said it was not strong or long lasting-"

But I was not allowed to finish. Glorfindel whipped his head around and scowling, he caught me by the elbow.

We came to a stop as he pulled at my reins.

"What did you say?" he hissed, entirely too close to me. His knee was touching my horse. "You were not meant to hear those words!"

"Perhaps you should not speak so loudly!" I snapped, before admitting that Annie and I had overheard his conversation with Elrond.

"I spoke in my people's tongue," he said, looking anguished. "Anarion should not have translated for you."

"I do not need his translation. This strange, dirty little mortal can speak Sindarin well enough!" I snapped at him in the Elvish tongue.

I truly surprised him. He dropped my arm and stared at me. My anger dissipated and I realised with horror that I was about to cry. I spurred Elanor on at speed, hoping that trying to stay onto the horse would stop me from bursting into tears.

At lunch, I performed my usual stretches and ablutions, and then sat down on the grass to eat. I was beginning to hate lembas as much as porridge.

Glorfindel, rather unexpectedly, sat on the grass opposite me. He offered me his water flask, which I took a large swig from.

"I volunteered to accompany you on your quest because we do not trust Isildur," he told me, quietly.

Well, I thought, resentfully, it seems the elves had got the measure of Isildur.

"You do not trust him with me… or with the dwarves?" I asked, tentatively. Any thoughts of Isildur made me shudder. While this trip with Glorfindel had proved embarrassing, unsettling and upsetting, he had not hurt me.

But then I remembered what Annie had said about Glorfindel taking mortal lovers. Surely he was not as predatory as Elendil's son? I didn't think so.

"Both," was the terse answer to my question. "But I will admit that I wanted to spend this uninterrupted time with you."

I was still too angry to listen to this.

"Yes, this has been most enjoyable, hasn't it?" I said sarcastically, and walked to my horse.

"You're crying," he said, standing up with me, sounding alarmed.

"I know!" I snapped. "Leave me alone!"

It's hard, I found, to cry when you're riding a horse, but not impossible. I also discovered that the shame you can feel for not having a proper family, or being low-born or mortal, or less elegant than princesses like Elwen, is only compounded when you realise snot is running down your face.

Once I had stopped weeping and wiped my tears (and my nose), I made some sort of comment about how we must be near the dwarves' domain. It had been almost two weeks; the longest and most wretched of my life.

Glorfindel made no reply for quite some time, which suited me, as I was left to my pitiful thoughts. I had rather proved his point, I thought. I was not good enough for him; I was fitful, moody and childish. This was not how I should be behaving, I realised, and I was only hurting myself.

The next day, I woke up feeling more exhausted than ever. As usual, Glorfindel had already risen and was standing lookout. I wondered if he ever slept. Surely he had to sleep?

"May I speak with you, Minnow?" asked Glorfindel, gently, looking serious. I acquiesced. "I am ashamed of what I said, and how I spoke about you… I am a general in the army and many years older than you. I should not be thinking of you in such a manner… I should only think of protecting you…"

It gave me a thrill, I had to admit, to hear that Glorfindel thought of me in any manner, let alone a sexual one, but it made me feel upset that it only brought him shame and regret. I tried to rally myself.

"Glorfindel… I do not need your protection. I have managed to evade Isildur's grasp once before without your help."

"Indeed?" he asked, almost bitterly.

I was reluctant to disclose what Annie had said to his brother, but I did not know why so many people thought Annie wanted to marry me. Who had said anything about marriage ?

"When Isildur would not let go of me in the tent in your camp in the mountains… Annie pretended to him we were lovers. Isildur has not touched or even looked at me since."

"Pretended?" he said, sharply. I glanced at him, embarrassed.

"Of course, now I'm a lady and ladies aren't mistresses or lovers apparently because you can only bond with a lady… whatever that means. Annie said it's a shame for me to lose my reputation but hey ho… if it keeps Isildur away, then it's worth it." I said all this with fake levity, for of course it bothered me. How could it not? But it was not worth dwelling on it, I reasoned.

Glorfindel was pensive for some time.

"I may have misjudged Elendil's youngest son," he said, thoughtfully. I was not entirely sure what this meant.

"Well what about me?!" I cried, annoyed. "You continue to misjudge me!"

"Elendil wished to send Isildur with you, Minnow," he said, with meaning, ignoring what I had said.

I shuddered.

"We cannot know if Anarion's protection of you would not last when you were alone in the wilds with Isildur."

"Well then, I thank you for your continued kindness towards us lesser mortals. Now that you know that it was just a pretence to keep me safe from Isildur, will you take back your stupid necklace, please?" I asked.

"My stupid necklace is a symbol of my house," he snapped, with anger.

"Well as you know that I do not need a dowry-" I said, before he interrupted me.

"I would not be so sure about that. Anarion's attentions to you spell out exactly what his intentions are - there can be no doubt that he wishes to marry you!"

"Attentions?! All he has done is be my friend ! Valar knows what Elvish courtship consists of - you have given me a dowry that I didn't want, told Elrond that I'm beneath you, insisted on accompanying me and refused to talk to me half the time!"

"I am not courting you," snapped Glorfindel.

Again, I felt like I had been slapped. I turned away and tried to compose myself by breathing in deeply.

"It is inappropriate," he said, tensely.

I snorted.

"How I feel is inappropriate," he said.

"You understand you have managed to insult me in every possible way?" I cried.

"Because you're mortal!" he shouted.

I exploded with anger, and wrath that had been stewing for months. For once, I held nothing back and I shouted at him, not caring if it brought down a whole horde of orcs on us.

"I EXIST! I exist outside your perception of me! I… I have dreams, I have considerations, I have friends, friends you do not even know about ! You will never know all of me! There are things I can do, things that you cannot even guess at. I do not exist for your approval! And you may be an immortal elf, and you may be my superior in birth and rank and power… but you will not be my equal until you realise that I am a person!"

I marched to my horse. To my eternal gratification, this time I managed to get my foot in the stirrup and throw my other leg over in one go. I think Elanor may have leaned down a little. I muttered a blessing to the Valar on her behalf.

I did not think I was an angry person by nature, but I had been angry for a long time, and felt completely unable to express it to anyone. As horrible as it was to shout at someone I cared about, and whose good opinion I was desperate for (and seemed to continually elude me) - for some reason I felt like I could do my worst and Glorfindel would take it.

I wasn't sure I understood myself. But I felt a huge amount of relief at telling him that he wasn't my equal due to the way he was treating me.

After trotting after me for a while on his horse, Glorfindel seemed to judge that it was safe to talk to me.

He apologised at length (if in rather vague terms), and said that he had not considered my feelings on the subject, and he realised that I was deeply insulted. It had not been his design. I said nothing, and let him continue. He told me, rather surprisingly, that seeing me with a mortal baby had greatly affected him . He had temporarily forgotten that I had not met Annie until we were both injured in battle only a few months ago, and had assumed that Joy was our child. I supposed, silently, that Joy did have a Numeanorean look, but she didn't look particularly Tolfalasan. And Elendil's other son apparently had a lot of illegitimate children dotted about Middle Earth.

Even when I told him that Joy was not my child, that day by the Elvish tent, it had still made him think of children, and that I would marry Anarion soon.

I did not know what to make of all this. Why was he so upset about children? Annie had told me that elves adore babies, and Lalathian was surely proof of that. I remembered Glorfindel did not want to even hold Joy. Was he jealous of the idea of Annie and I having a child together? If he had heard we were having a… liaison… I suppose that was a natural conclusion. Berendine had borne Isildur a child, I thought.

Even for Glorfindel's mercurial and changeable nature, I found this odd and unsettling.

"I have heard that you are popular with the ladies. Valar knows why. You've made a right mess of this," I muttered. To my surprise, Glorfindel snorted.

"It is a mystery," he agreed.

I smiled a little, gratified. I let a little more time pass, then ventured another comment.

"Elrond would have not messed this up," I said.

"I would not be too sure of that," said Glorfindel, with a sly smile. I could not guess his meaning.

"He is far more handsome and charming than you, and a good deal more self-aware."

"You think Elrond handsome?" he asked, aghast.

For some reason this made me laugh.

"Valar, yes, he is gorgeous. And kind, and learned. And thoughtful, and wise in a sad way."

Glorfindel was silent and looked surprised.

"He must be much sought after by elleth," I continued.

"Indeed, he is not."

"No?" I said, curiously.

"He is half-Elven."

I made a blithe comment about the bigotry of the first-born, which Glorfindel largely ignored.

"It is not that. In many ways, Elrond is more Elvish… or he is closer to the Elvish ideal than many high-born Elves who are pure Sindar or pure Noldor. But it is unknown if an elleth can bond with him."

I frowned.

"What exactly is bonding?" I asked, innocently.

Glorfindel froze, and then breathed out deeply.

I knew that elves were more conservative than most humans (not including Numeanoreans who were in another league altogether), but I did not think that it would be this awkward to discuss sex. He was not an awkward teen, but a seven thousand year old elf.

"It's when an elf's fea joins with another's," he said, at length.

"Fea?" I repeated. This wasn't a Sindarin word I knew.

"Their soul," he said.

"How do your souls bond together?" I asked.

"Marriage," he said, tersely.

I asked for an explanation. What kind of ceremony was involved? I wondered if it was Elf magic.

Glorfindel swore in Quenya to my surprise and delight, but I would not be deterred.

"Marriage for Elves is when we… are intimate with another Elf," he replied, reluctantly.

"So… sex," I confirmed, amused by how vague he was being.

"Indeed, Minnow, sex."

Privately, I wondered if sex was different for humans and elves. Aloud, I asked for more details.

"I honestly preferred it when you were shouting at me," he said, refusing to look at me.

"Well, I didn't!" I snapped.

It took several hours, a lot of prodding, and making camp for the night before he told me, in a clipped, but neutral tone, while staring resolutely at the sunset, that it was the mere act of sex between elves was enough to bond their souls.

I pondered this over my lembas.

"But because Elrond is half Elf… it's not known if his soul will bond with an elleth's?" I asked, worriedly.

"His parentage is more mixed than that. He is part Maia as well, and Maia are very different to corporeal beings," he said. "It may work in his favour, but then again, it may not."

"But Luthien and Beren married? Elrond's grandparents, or great-grandparents?"

I could feel even my cheeks reddening.

"It's not known if they… bonded. Certainly, they married but they did not share whether humans and elves could bond. And Melian married Thingol but again, did not share confidences. All these unions also ended in death."

Did all our conversations revolve around death, I wondered. I supposed there was a war going on.

"Did you know them?" I asked, curiously.

Glorfindel quickly glanced at me. He was a bit pink, too, I noticed. "Not all of them. I knew Idril well enough," he said, softly. I wasn't sure exactly who Idril was, but I could enquire about Elrond's ancestors later.

"So… elleth are superstitious that if they marry Elrond they might die, and not bond with him?" I said, thinking out loud.

"It's complicated, Minnow," he said, softly. I left it at that.

He told me that due to the chill wind, he would make me a small fire. I smiled. It wasn't that cold, but I imagined it was his way of apologising. Glorfindel was an elf of action. I watched him make the fire in silence, and was thankful for the heat and the light. Starlight was not enough for my eyes.

As we sat around the fire later that evening, I thought over what he had revealed to me. I wasn't sure I understood it all, but relations between mortals and non-mortals and gods and goddesses (I vaguely remembered from my schooling that Melian was a Maia, and a sort of handmaiden to the goddess Yavanna) seemed fraught with danger and worry.

I always felt like an outsider wherever I went, but I could not imagine who Elrond must feel. Not knowing if your soul would bond with another's. Was that why the handsome elf was unmarried? I wanted Elrond to be happy, I thought, sadly. He was so kind.

Gil-galad, also stunningly good-looking, was also unmarried, so perhaps they had just been busy saving Middle Earth.

Annie's assertion that Glorfindel was prone to take human lovers had not been far from my mind for the last few months. He had expressed desire for me (to Elrond at least, not to me directly and was skirting round the subject even as we argued), but was horrified by his own feelings, because I was mortal and frankly not up to his standards. Elwen, a paragon of Numenorean beauty, he had flirted extensively with, but in a courtly and almost polite way.

But to ask Lord Glorfindel, the general of the Elvish army, if he took human lovers would take more impertinence than I had. It was one thing to ask awkward questions about the sex lives of Elves, another to ask probing questions into the sex life of Glorfindel. Embarrassment would finally catch me up.

Yet I had learned much.

The next morning, it seemed to me that the air was cleaner, the sky was bluer, and that the Brown Lands were at least free of orcs and that was something to celebrate.

I was in a very good mood, the first for months.

"We are close to the dwarves," said Glorfindel, and told me that we were looking for a large, triangle shaped standing stone. As I looked across the moorland, I could see nothing like that in the rise and fall of the land. I hoped we would reach it by nightfall and that dwarves had baths, and food that wasn't lembas.

"So, to recap our conversation last night about bonding," I said, as soon as we were both in the saddle.

"Please, no," said Glorfindel, faintly. "I have not been subjected to such an interrogation since Elrond was a child."

This was a strange notion. I could never get my head around the idea of who was older than the other. Dimly, I wondered how old Gil-galad was, but that was a question for another day. In terms of this line of questioning, I could not lose my momentum.

"As a midwife, this is relevant to my ongoing medical education. So. Elves' souls join when they… marry each other," I said, teasingly. "But it's not known if elves can bond with humans or Maia."

"Indeed."

I asked him whether it was the bonding or the sex that was considered the marriage or if there was some other ceremony involved.

"Please, Minnow," said Glorfindel, whose ears had gone bright red. "Can these questions not wait for Elrond? As a fellow healer, I'm sure he would be happy to acquiesce to answer any questions relevant to your ongoing medical education, as well as your endless curiosity and general nosiness."

"No," I said, peevishly. In truth, I quite liked embarrassing him.

Glorfindel spurred his horse forward and began to canter and then gallop. I rolled my eyes and urged Elanor to do the same. Perhaps a good long gallop was exactly what we needed to blow the cobwebs away, and the headache that always accompanied crying.

Flying over the plain, this was the fastest I'd ever travelled. As Elanor shot across the moorland on a path through the shrubbery in Glorfindel's wake, I felt the cold wind on my face and I felt almost free. It was like swimming, I thought, almost as good as swimming. Glorfindel was far ahead of me, but I could still see him on his white horse, a distant glow in the morning light.

"It is the intention," he said, at lunch, looking directly at me and making me blush. "When your souls bond, you are joined. But if you cannot bond with… the person you are intimate with, it is not marriage, for you can part ways. If you choose not to part, or have other ceremonies to join two people, then I suppose it may be called a marriage."

I turned this over in my head for some time to understand it.

Hours later, I told him how two people married in Tolfalas. There was the handfasting ceremony, where a rope was tied around the couple's right hands, and words that were said in front of your community. These were the only weddings I had witnessed, so I supposed it was different in the Gondorian mainland.

"The ceremony must be performed by someone who loves the two of you," I explained. "Sometimes this is not very convenient." I told him a story about how Hana, Denvy's sister-in-law, who had never liked me, and how the island struggled to find someone who liked her husband, let alone loved him, as he was an aggressive and unpleasant man. They had to send to the mainland for his elderly grandfather, and it had been very embarrassing for all involved.

Glorfindel remarked that it sounded like a lovely ceremony. But if he thought we had finished with the subject, he was most mistaken. There were still things I wanted to know.

"Have any elves ever taken a human lover? One that they haven't married? Because it sounds like it's usually human men who are kings and suchlike who are marrying Elvish princesses. What about people who are not royalty? Do male elves have affairs with human women as well? Is it considered taboo? Because we are different species? And do Maia or Valar have relations with humans as well as elvies?" I asked.

Glorfindel resolutely looked forward but I didn't think he was seeing anything.

After some time, he sighed. "The answer to all your questions is yes."

I thought so. I smirked.

"So technically, elves can take human lovers? Interesting. Is that what we're looking for by any chance?" I pointed in front of us.

It was a large flat stone standing upright on the moor, in a little dip.

We rode up to it and dismounted. I stretched out my back as Glorfindel walked round the stone, finding nothing.

"I am at a loss," said Glorfindel. As was I. What were we supposed to do next? We couldn't see any dwarves anywhere, and imagined they must all be underground. Unequal to the task, we drank some water, and let the horses graze for a bit. Surely the dwarves would come and find us?

In a fit of pique, I knocked on the flat stone, as if it were a door.

"Minnow, daughter of Deena, at your service!" I declared.

"How amusing of you," said Glorfindel, drolly, from where he was sitting, cross-legged on the ground. I looked back at him, in his light blue tunic, and brown leather armour and thought how unfairly handsome he was.

There was a strange, crunching noise. I jumped back and Glorfindel was suddenly beside me, one hand around my arm and another at his sword.

The stone swung open, like a door, to reveal a large hole in the ground. We looked at each other and then peered over the edge into the yawning darkness. Something was moving towards us.

It was Yagel. I cried out loud with relief and joy and threw myself at him.

"You came, lass!" he said, thumping me on the back. I wasn't sure, but it seemed to be the way dwarves greeted people; it did not hurt that much.

"Glorfindel, son of Glindor, at your service," said the Elf, rather stiffly, to my great surprise.

"Yagel, son of Yalen, at yours, Master Elf," said the red-headed dwarf, bowing.

I knew a little about Glorfindel's family now, I realised, as I followed Yagel underground. He had a sister who lived in Lindon. His father was called Glindor, and had died on the journey from Valinor. Where, I wondered, was his mother?

Amazingly, the horses both fit in the hole, for while it was not very wide, it went deep. Glorfindel whispered something to both of them, and stroked their noses which settled them and they followed us underground.

I remembered what Gil-galad had said about how Glorfindel did not like caves and wondered if I should stroke his nose.

I turned a laugh into a cough but Glorfindel glared at me.

The stone door closed, and all was darkness. There was no torches in the tunnel, and the only light came from Glorfindel's hazy glow. But Yagel led the way, and his eyes clearly could see in the darkness. I kept my hand on Elanor's flank and walked with her.

Yagel kept up a running commentary as we walked deeper and deeper underground, but it was muffled in the strange tunnel we were now in. I accidentally stepped on a rat's tail and almost screamed.

I turned to look at Glorfindel, who was leading the horses behind me, a glowing light surrounding his concerned face.

This was going to be hard, I thought. Already I felt claustrophobic.

We travelled like this for quite some time, gently sloping down, until we came to a large room with a high ceiling, thankfully lit by torches. I let out a sigh of relief. Yagel directed Glorfindel to an underground stables where there were, to my amazement, an assortment of very shaggy ponies.

We waited for Glorfindel to remove their tackle and brush them down.

"Lassie, what have you done to that elf?" asked Yagel.

"Oh, they do not care for being underground, elves," I said, dismissively.

Yagel gave me a look. "He stares at you like you're a forbidden fruit. And he was polite to me, a dwarf! That's almost unheard of. Did you threaten him?"

The idea of threatening Glorfindel tickled me. I supposed I could threaten him with more questions on Elvish sex… imagining the look of horror on his face made me laugh.

But the truth was not very funny, because it hurt my feelings.

"I'm the only female he's ever met who hasn't fallen over at the sight of him, which has confused him and made him angry with himself, because he wants me and won't admit it," I said in a low voice.

"Well, he has good taste," said Yagel with a grin.

I snorted. "But no sense!"

"He's an elf," said Yagel, as if that explained it. When I raised an eyebrow, he told me that elves were wont to lose their heads when falling in love. In fact, he told me, they were famous for it. Dwarves, on the other hand, were much more sensible. Less singing mawkish songs and declaring ridiculous oaths, and more making love axes.

I made a note to ask about love axes later.

"I do not think it is love," I said. "Lust is more common and dissipates quickly."

"His necklace hangs around your neck, lassie." I started. Looking down, I realised that the little yellow flower necklace was peaking out my bodice. I hastily tucked it back in. Yagel must have noticed the same flower on Glorfindel's leather arm guards.

I protested that it had been foisted on me, and explained the nature of Elf-gifts.

"But you accepted it," he said.

That I could not deny.

"Mmmhmmm," said Yagel, his eyes twinkling at me. "Your children will be taller than you, I think."

I hoped the Valar that that was some sort of generic Dwarvish saying for good luck with curing the Dwarf king, or whatever it was my task turned out to be.

"And pointier of ear… Ah, Master Elf. You are ready. Let me have the honour of taking you to meet our king.

Glorfindel nodded. He looked tired, I realised, and nervous. As we walked down another long, unlit tunnel, I tripped on another rat, shrieked and he caught me by the arm. Without looking at each other, his hand grabbed mine and our fingers interlaced.

I was too scared of the dark to be embarrassed. I was supposed to be looking after him when we were underground - he was the one who had a bad experience in a cave, not me. But I walked more steadily with him by my side.

It was starting to get noisier and noisier the deeper we went down. There was an orange light at the end of the tunnel, and I could see the outline of Yagel in front of me.

We walked out the tunnel and onto a landing.

My mouth fell open. It took a few moments to understand that we were inside a giant mine, hollowed out under the Brown Lands and stretching as far as I could see in all directions. There were walkways made of what looked like bronze across many levels, and houses made of stone along the walls, and I could hear forges, and the clanging of metal against metal. I peered down below. Deep, deep into the ground was orange fire. I shuddered.

But it was empty. Where were the dwarves?

"Is this… an underground city?" I shouted at Yagel.

Glorfindel, for once, was mute. He had closed in on himself, and was shuddering at the noise.

I squeezed his hand.

"Welcome to my city! Are you ready to meet Durin the third?" shouted Yagel, almost mischievously. It was clear he loved being in the middle of this noisy, busy, filthy mine.

He led us along a road, where I could see houses and what looked like shops, but they seemed abandoned or perhaps closed. It was eerie, I thought, but as we walked past, I thought I saw movement.

"The houses are not abandoned," said Glorfindel, tensely. "But why they hide, I know not."

I wondered, not for the first time, if the incident in the cave involved a balrog. If that was what Glorfindel was worried about, what he feared the most. I took a deep breath of the smoky, strange air in.

"They are probably wary of strangers, and we are very strange, are we not?" I said, trying to smile at him.

I smoothed down my hair, which was going frizzy in the heat. I had not expected it to be so hot underground, but I supposed that the dwarves liked to live in a forge.

Yagel took us over a thin bridge with no handrails, over a huge drop. I hesitated to take the first step.

"You did not say that you feared heights," said Glorfindel, frowning behind me.

"I didn't know until just now," I said, looking at the blackness below.

"I do not like them either," said Glorfindel, grimly. "Do not look down, and I will be behind you. I will catch you if you stumble."

I nodded at him. I don't think I breathed as I walked across the bridge, and kept my gaze on Yagel's red tunic in front of me. It made me feel safer that Glorfindel was behind me, and I wanted to look back at him, but didn't dare.

As we reached firmer ground, I saw steps up to a large, brightly lit room. Thank the Valar, I thought. Some light. Glorfindel and I walked behind Yagel, trying to remain calm, and into the room. There was one large dwarf who was surely the king, and only one other red-headed dwarf next to him. I'd only ever seen dwarves dressed for battle, the smaller one, I thought must be a healer from their apron, and Durin the third, as I guessed him, was dressed opulently in purple velvet.

Durin the third was mighty, indeed, I realised. He was almost as tall and he was wide, swarthy and strong. He was, I thought amusedly, quite handsome beneath the beard.

I curtseyed and Glorfindel bowed.

"Welcome, Minnow, daughter of Deena," he said in the deepest voice I've ever heard. It rumbled like an earthquake. "And welcome, Master Elf. Take some rest, and join me."

He gestured to a table laid with flasks of water, cuts of cheese and meats, and bread - and to my utmost delight, grilled vegetables.

"Thank you, my lord," I said, courteously, and we all sat down to eat together. The third dwarf was introduced as their physician, and nodded at us politely.

It was a strange table; three dwarves, an Elf and a female healer. Glorfindel seemed beyond courteous chitchat, and so it fell to me to make conversation. Durin, I felt, was kindly, and I praised his secret city, and told him I had never seen anything like it. He asked about our journey (uneventful, despite the tears, probably thanks to Glorfindel's presence), and then all that seemed left to do was discuss why they had called me here.

"I thank you for coming to our aid," said Durin. He explained, in his slow booming voice, that he was not sure that I would come, for it was a long and dangerous journey.

"I knew she would, Durin. She's made of hardy stuff," said Yagel.

"I owe you a debt, my friend, and I will always answer a friend in their hour of need," I answered.

"This may be your most dangerous task yet, Mistress Healer. We are beset by a plague," said Durin.

There was a long pause while I tried to take it in. I stared at my plate, trying to control my thoughts.

"Elves are not beset by such illnesses," said Glorfindel, breaking his silence. "But Lady Minnow is a mortal."

"We will tell you all we know before you see the sick, and ask for nothing more than you give," said Durin.

A plague, I thought, worriedly. A Dwarvish plague! Oh, this was bad news, indeed. I had never seen one before, and had only read about them. Humans were subject to plagues (if not Elves), but there had not been one for hundreds of years. They were devastating. I looked worriedly at Glorfindel, who seemed to be quite angry, but I knew I had to try to help them.

"Tell me."

Durin spoke at length. He cared greatly about his people, that was very clear, and was worried for their survival. This was their forge-city where they created all their weapons, their axes, maces, short swords and the like, and so was critical for the fight against the Enemy.

I began to realise that a lot more was at stake here than I had previously thought.

Once the first few dwarves had fallen ill, precautions had been taken, but then more and more fell sick and died, and so Durin had asked all the city, some five thousand dwarves, to stay in their abodes, to stop work, to stay put.

Still, they fell sick.

Durin teared up. "I beg for your help, Mistress Healer. We have lost all our physicians to this illness apart from one. We have sent for help to our cousins in other dwarvish domains, but Yagel says you have a sharp mind and a keen eye."

"I will do my best," I said, trying not to feel sick.

"That is all we can ask, lassie," said Yagel, standing up.

This was beyond me, I thought. Usually, I do not have to make a prognosis. On the battlefield, it is clear what ails my patients, and even on Tolfalas that there was rarely a mysterious illness.

Durin asked for me to be taken to the sick, and Yagel wished me luck, and told us that he would take us to our quarters when we were done.

We followed the physician down a spiral staircase that was set deep into the wall. I tripped up on more damn rats in the flickering torch light.

"If you wish, I will take you back to your camp, and there will be no dishonour on you, Minnow," said Glorfindel, in a low voice.

"I know."

"You risk your health, your life," he said.

"I know."

We must have walked down twenty flights of stairs, and the air became cooler. The dwarf gave me a strip of cloth, and I wrapped it around my mouth and nose in a mask. Glorfindel refused to wear one. It seemed he had no need of precautions, and told us that he could not get sick.

I thought, with a blush, of when I met him and how his skin now had no mark of the wound that was once there.

We were clearly further away from the forges. The air was still as well. Glorfindel, although he said nothing, looked increasingly upset and his eyes darted around suspiciously whenever I cast my eyes back at him.

Presently, the staircase ended, and we reached a great hall, where two hundred dwarves lay on cots. All was still apart from soft breathing. I approached with caution, wishing I could see more. Glorfindel hung back.

"What is your name, master physician?" I asked, a little muffled through the mask, as I looked at the dwarf closest to me.

"Evena," said a dwarf.

This is how I found out that all full-grown dwarves have beards.

I smiled and told her that I thought women made for great healers.

"Yagel is my father and he said you were a healer of deep care, that you even healed the Elf!" she said, looking at Glorfindel, who sat on the lowest step with his arms crossed. I recounted how Elrond and I had healed Glorfindel with her father's lodestone.

"The wit of a woman, the knowledge of an Elf, and the craft of a dwarf… Durin speaks truly; when we come together, there is nothing we cannot achieve. And he has come with you to the dwarves. I had not thought it possible… I never thought I would see an Elf in Durin's Mine! Although he is very unhappy, it is clear."

She explained the situation further. Every day, ten more dwarves came down with the illness, and after thirty days, usually spent listlessly sweating, they died.

Everyone in the city was in their houses, apart from the dwarves who worked the fires, which is where the noise came from.

"We cannot let the fires go out, for if they do, we may never be able to light them again. But as it is, the dwarves keeping the fire burning never became sick. We do not know why."

I walked through the dwarves, thinking hard. I could see the symptoms, and how they were wasting away. There were so many of them...

I found one dwarf in the corner, covered in flies.

I gasped, and Evena swore in Dwarvish.

"He is lost! Another dead, aye, another loss!" she sniffed, and told me she must deal with a dead body alone according to her culture. She told me to climb the stairs again, and Yagel would meet us at the top and take us to our quarters.

As we began to climb the dimly lit staircase, I realised quite how weary I was. It took a lot longer to climb up than it did down, and Glorfindel had to take me by the elbow for the last few flights. I fell over constantly, on rats, on catching the stairs with my feet, on tiredness and clumsiness. My muscles were beginning to cramp, and I was exhausted.

Yagel took us to a room with twin beds, a table and chairs, again laid with more food.

"I'll fetch you in the morning, lassie. I'm so glad you came," he said, with a big smile, which made me want to cry.

I felt a lot safer in the small, brightly lit room, alone with Glorfindel and I found that my spirits were raised. It was clear that Glorfindel was deeply unsettled in the underground caves.

"I did not know what Durin the third was going to be like, but I like him a lot," I said, over dinner.

"I admire them, too," said Glorfindel, eating a carrot.

"Ah yes, my admiration is thin, for we mortals are vain, shallow creatures," I said, contemptibly.

"You have made your point," he said, quietly. "What I said was foolish, untrue-"

"Hurtful," I added. "Deeply hurtful."

"I do not think I have yet realised how much I hurt you," he said, softly.

I snorted.

"I'm surprised Elrond didn't come. I imagine he would sort this out in half an hour, he is so wise and learned."

"You are full of praise for Elrond as always," noted Glorfindel. I looked at him, wondering. He seemed discomforted whenever I praised another. Could he be prone to jealousy?

"He's less infuriating than you, and I have much to learn from him in the arts of healing," I said.

"They would never have asked the Elves for aid, and Elrond would not have been allowed to leave his station," said Glorfindel, pouring us two glasses of water.

"Still, he would have been a better person to send with me, or even by himself," I said, sadly. A plague would not have been behind Lord Elrond, the wisest and kindest elf I had ever met. I wished desperately for his advice.

"His heart is not free for him to give," said Glorfindel, suddenly. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"I can still admire him from afar, can I not?" I said glibly.

Glorfindel stood up, annoyed.

"What do you want me to say?" he hissed at me. "That it is prohibited amongst my people to have relations with mortals? That I am a high lord and the general of the army, and not some degenerate!"

"How can you not see that having feelings for me is not degenerate! Can you not understand that it is highly insulting?" I snapped.

I drank my glass of water trying not to be angry, and sat on the bed I had chosen, pulling off my boots. I was so glad of a bed after weeks of sleeping on my mat. The dwarf beds were soft and firm, and I knew I was going to sleep well.

"How will we know when it's morning?" I wondered. There were, of course, no windows in this room, and we were deep underground.

"I will know," said Glorfindel, wearily.

There was some sort of Dwarvish magic happening, because the torches dimmed as Glorfindel stood up from the table and sat on the bed. I imagined as soon as he laid down, the torches would grow dimmer and eventually blow out. Would they turn on in the morning, I wondered, dreamily.

Glorfindel did not fit on the bed. He was about two feet too tall, and it looked, from peeking through my hands as I lay a few feet from him, as if he were lying on a children's bed.

"I can hear you laughing," he said, sounding amused. I snorted and turned over in my bed to face the wall.

I fell asleep immediately and dreamed of precisely nothing.

In the morning, we ate in silence as the torches slowly brightened the room, and Glorfindel accompanied me on the long trip to the hall of sick dwarves. He carried my healers bag in one hand, and in the other gripped my upper arm.

"So many rats!" I said, despairingly as we reached the bottom of the staircase.

"I hope you do not think all dwarvish mines are full of rats," said Evena, who was already tending to her patients. She explained there had been a recent infestation of rats, and that usually, rats were not seen or tolerated in dwarvish abodes.

I shuddered.

Dwarves were sturdy and hale, and so were rarely injured or sick. Any fatalities were usually accidents pertaining to forges (burns mostly), or incidents with orcs (always greatly outnumbered, of course). They weren't as frail as humans were, which was all to their advantage. Except, of course, when they came down with the plague and the five healers in the city didn't know how to treat the illness.

"I've never even heard of a sick dwarf before this," admitted Evena. She told me that she was a hundred years old. Again, I felt the honour of their trust in me.

I showed Evena my herbs, and together we made a big vat of what I usually used on patients with high fevers. Together, we administered it to all those who could swallow.

One of the dwarves muttered something to me, but I didn't understand it.

"My head. That's what he said," explained Evena.

"Hmmm," I said. Clearly a headache, I thought. "More water!" I began to create an ointment to smear on their foreheads which would hopefully relieve some of the pain. Dwarves had thicker skulls than we did, I could see, but hopefully it might alleviate some pain.

After a few hours of watching me like a hawk, clearly judging I was safe as could be, Glorfindel allowed Yagel to accompany him to the horses to look after them.

And so our days took on a routine. Yagel brought more dwarves into our care, and a few died. It was slow, tiresome work, nursing the dwarves.

But our careful nursing began to work. A few of the dwarves, slowly, began to get better. They could sit up, eat stew, and speak and think clearly.

Evena and I questioned them, but it wasn't clear how they had taken ill. They had all been in different parts of the forge city, not all of them had eaten the same food in the last few days, or drunk from the same wells. Most had not been on the overground, as they called it, for several months. I wondered if it were something in the air.

I knew that was possible, but wasn't sure how to test it.

One day, after we had been underground for a week, Glorfindel went to tend to the horses and didn't return.

Worried and weary, I climbed the stairs with Yagel, tripping over the steps and kicking several rats by accident without the Elf's help.

When I returned to our quarters, he was huddled in the corner, a blanket over his knees, which he was twisting with his hands.

I knelt beside him and took his hands in mine.

"You are not well, Glorfindel. Go above the ground and breathe in the fresh air. Please!" I asked.

"I am a little weary," he admitted. I supposed that meant that he was exhausted, mostly through worry.

I urged him to go and breathe in the fresh air, but he refused.

"I cannot leave you here," he said, flatly, not looking at me. "In waking and in dreams I am tormented by this place but I will endure."

I didn't have anything to say to that. I didn't know how long we would be here for, and I had not made much headway. I didn't think he wanted to talk about his dreams, or his fears, and the idea of a balrog scared me. Even something as small as a rat scared me.

I held his hand, and hummed a song that grandmother had sung to me as a child when I was lonely.

"I think you are in the Song, after all," he muttered, and his eyes glazed over. I kept humming, and watched him. I had never seen Glorfindel sleep before (I wasn't sure he had on the journey here) and it was a little unsettling to see him sleep with his eyes open.

I put my head on his shoulder, leant against the wall next to him and found that sleep took me. I awoke hours later in the same position, embarrassed but not at all stiff. I could not understand it.

"I'm sorry," I said, not able to look at him. "Have you been awake long?"

"No. I slept deeply, and my dreams were pleasant. I dreamt of a small, green island with white sand beaches, and a warm breeze…"

"Tolfalas? Did you dream of my island?" I asked wondrously. I had not dreamt of my home for a long time. "Are dreams… catching?"

"Elves can catch dreams, as you say. We are sensitive that way," he said, with a smile.

This was bad, very bad, I thought, as I got up and shakily poured myself some water. Over the past few months my dreams had taken a turn, not an unwelcome turn, but a turn from waves and my homeland to dreams of a certain elf, doing things he seemed to consider degenerate.

Valar help me, I asked. I would die, simply die, if he knew about those dreams. I could not bear it.

I cast about for something to say and asked him if he knew that all dwarves had beards and why he did not tell me.

"Beards," he said with a shudder, biting into an apple. He said he assumed I knew more about dwarves than him.

"You do not fond of facial hair?" I asked. "I suppose if you cannot grow it, then it must be odd."

"Elves… no. We do not much like facial hair, although some of us can grow it, when we grow old enough. It's uncommon, but in general, we are not fond of beards, as you say," he answered.

"Or earrings?" I asked, mischievously, thinking of Elwen.

"You noticed," he said, with a sigh. "It is rude, but it is unsightly to us."

"It's highly fashionable in Gondor," I told him.

"Our ears are more sensitive than yours. I can hear the rats scurrying about in the tunnels."

I eyed his ears, pensively. It was a long abiding desire of mine to touch his ears.

"There are a lot of rats here. I hate rats," I said.

We endured a few more days underground like this. Evena and I would nurse the sick dwarves, and while many were recovering, more were still getting sick. Glorfindel looked sick himself.

While living underground is not for me, I cannot deny that I enjoyed my time with the dwarves in many ways. The architecture was like nothing I had ever read about or seen before, and I wished I could look through the dwarves' wares. Occasionally, I met with Durin, to tell him of my progress. He was pleased and grateful that the dwarves were recovering, but we still did not know how they were getting sick. He showed me schematics of the mine, something he said no one outside Durin's Folk had ever been graced with before, and together, we tried to figure it out. It felt amazing to have this sort of trust from a ruler. I felt it too, from Gil-galad, but it was sorely lacking from Elendil. Once, Durin even let me hold his favourite ruby, but it was the size of my head so I could not hold it for long.

"If we cannot cure this, we will have to abandon the mine," he told me. He valued his people above the weapons he could make here.

This reminded me of Gil-galad as well. This was a diplomatic mission as well, and this was a strategic mine. All the weapons the dwarves would use for the big battle in Dagorland would come from here. Durin showed me the warehouses nearer the surface, full of strange metal weapons I had never seen before.

"We have not made everything we need for battle," he said, wearily.

By this time, even my spirits were waning. Yagel took me back to the quarters I shared with Glorfindel and wished me goodnight. He had such faith in me, I thought, and it wasn't deserved.

"I do not think I can do this," I told Glorfindel, sitting on my bed.

"If anyone can, it is you," came the answer.

"Everyone said that to me before I left but it is not helping me!" I snapped. "I am going to fail. No wonder you think I'm some sort of degenerate!"

I sniffed. I would not cry, I told myself. Yagel and Evena needed me!

Glorfindel sat up, and looked at me hard.

"Do not repeat my words back to me. I am ashamed of them," he said, in a low voice.

"I don't know what to do!" I wailed, and buried my face in my hands.

"Tell me your thoughts. What have you observed?" he asked.

I thought for a second.

"It could be airborne… and I do not think they are infecting each other. There have been no outbreaks, it's spread everywhere and now there are few sick dwarves. The dwarves in the deepest part of the mines, where they keep the fires, have not been infected."

"So heat could be a factor?" asked Glorfindel.

We carried on discussing late into the night. He was a good sounding board, I found. He asked intelligent questions, and put me on the right track.

"If this mine has been working for over a century with no problems, then something must have changed," he said.

I wondered.

"Evena said it was not usual for this amount of rats," I replied. "Remember?"

Glorfindel stood up, and didn't answer when I asked where he was going. Probably to go and tend to his horses, I thought. I hoped that they were free of the rats, Valar only knew what they would catch from the filthy rodents.

Tendrils of a thought flew through my head. Glorfindel returned, and was holding a rat in a gloved hand.

It was clear that we had the same idea. "Oh Valar," I said.

The rat, up close and in the torch light, was grotesque. It was dark, black-haired with strange eyes, and covered in fleas.

"Animals have diseases that humans can catch - that is one of the reasons I do not eat meat," I told him. "My grandmother refused to eat meat after an outbreak of pig sicknesses when she was a young woman on the island. They all had to be culled. I did not think of animals as they do not have any herds of animals here..."

Glorfindel killed the rat by breaking its neck, and we examined it on the floor. It was covered in flies, which with his quick reflexes, he also killed.

"It could also be the flies from the rats. They could bite without leaving much of a mark on dwarf skin… and that may explain why the dwarves in the hottest forges have been left alone."

"These flies are bigger than usual flies," Glorfindel remarked. They would have to be, I thought, to bite through thick dwarvish skin.

"Could Old Stinky have sent the rats?" I wondered.

"I have not heard that name for a long time. It is what Elendil called him when he was a young man, and he met him in Numenor," he replied, to my shock. "Because his lies were so outrageous, they stunk. And now Sauron resides in Mordor, so it has another meaning."

Glorfindel tentatively sniffed the rat.

"Yes, it has the sulphurous stench of Mordor about it, if only a whiff," said Glorfindel, wearily.

I handed him a knife.

"And what, exactly, do you want me to do with this?" he asked. I gestured at the rat, and he rolled his eyes at me. He cut along the rat's body, and black goo oozed out.

"Confirmation. Thank you for sniffing a rat for me," I said, smiling despite it all.

"I will deny it if you tell anyone," he said, smiling back at me.

Evena cried with relief when we told her that we had finally uncovered the mystery. "I am so glad, dwarf-friend," she said, and embraced me. "I knew you would!"

Durin, Yagel and Glorfindel discussed how best to dispose of the rat infestation, while we nursed the sick dwarves for the day. More had died, but now there were only twenty sick dwarves left. The rest, blessedly, had recovered. Once they had decided on the best course of action, we moved the remaining sick dwarves to higher ground. Glorfindel even helped me with the stretchers.

When the whole of forge city were together on the highest level, most of whom had been confined to their houses for over a month, Yagel made a signal and many levers were pulled.

There was a strange noise, and I realised it was water.

"They are going to flood the city," whispered Glorfindel.

Yagel explained that they had covered the forge flames and the dwarves in the deepest fires, and would flood the city for three days. It would drain slowly, and this would kill most of the rats, he hoped. The rest would be hunted down with fire, and poison. And after that, they would introduce cats into the mine.

Glorfindel shuddered beside me. "You do not like cats?" I asked.

"No, but they like me," he said, dejectedly. Yagel laughed.

Most of the dwarves didn't speak any Westron, and looked at us with wide, confused eyes. But they weren't angry at our presence, and I assumed word must have spread that Glorfindel and I were here to help them. But we must have been a strange sight.

We were brought before Durin who was smiling widely, relieved.

"Glorfindel and I did it together," I said, stoutly, when Durin praised me loudly for all the forge city to hear.

"Then I name you dwarf-friend, too," said Durin, generously to Glorfindel.

"I am proud to be friends with all of Durin's Folk," said Glorfindel, rather courteously.

Not long after, Yagel and Evena escorted us back up the tunnel, with our horses, to the overground. Glorfindel was practically buzzing with excitement and his glow was stronger than usual. His smile was wide and he kept talking in Quenya to the two horses.

The stone swung open and the two dwarves followed us out. I blinked at the sunlight; it was far too bright!

"Durin has given me a present for each of our dwarf-friends," Yagel told us. I felt my heart sink. Not more presents.

"No presents are necessary, Yagel! I owed you a debt and I was delighted to play my part in saving your kin," I cried.

"We thank him for his generosity," said Glorfindel, elbowing me.

Yagel handed a small sack to Glorfindel, who bowed low, and an even smaller drawstring back to me. "Open them later."

I gave my medical instruments, and all that was left of my healer's pack to Evena. "I know Durin's Folk are hardy, and I hope you will have no need of them, but I want you to have them. It has been an honour serving beside you," I told her, and we embraced.

"Thank you, Minnow," she said with a smile.

"I hope we will meet again, in time, Yagel!" I said, embracing him as well.

"Lassie, I'm sure we will!" he said.

We watched as they retreated into the tunnel, and the huge stone close over it.

The horses wanted to walk for a while before we rode them, so we walked beside them in the sunshine, relishing the breeze.

I opened my bag. It was, as I guessed, full of rubies. War had been very profitable, so far. I put them next to my bag of gold coins from Elendil. If I survived this war, I was going to be very rich.

"Yagel has given me an axe," said Glorfindel, looking confused and holding a small axe that was covered in etchings of hearts. "He said I would know what to do with it when the time comes. I cannot tell if this is an act of friendship… or a threat."

I could not stop laughing for some time and I would not tell him why.

I think I knew at that moment that I had forgiven him, truly forgiven him for what I had overheard him say to Elrond. He had never left my side in our two week sojourn underground, as hard as it had been for him. And it had been hard.

Previously, I had never thought I would long to be back on a horse again, but it was a joy to be reunited with Elanor and gallop back the way we came. I drank in the cool air, and when Glorfindel found us a pool of water from an underground stream, I took off my boots and jumped straight in, not caring that I was fully dressed.

"Can we have a fire?" I asked, hopefully, as we made camp for the night.

"No."

I harrumphed.

"Elrond would let me have a fire," I capitulated.

"No, he would not."

Not twenty minutes later, Glorfindel built me a fire. It felt so good to be outside, to feel the breeze on my face, the smell of nature, the heat of a fire. Glorfindel was almost vibrating with happiness. He was grinning at the stars.

"Thank you… for accompanying me, I mean."

"You are most welcome, Minnow," he said, smiling. I smiled back at him, and blushed in the firelight. I felt a sudden pang of sadness. Once we had reached our destination, we would part again. It was in two weeks time, admittedly, but who knew when I would see him again. I would miss him terribly, even more than before when I was so angry with him that it clouded over everything.

Glorfindel reached forward to pull one of my curls taut, and watched as it bounced back into a ringlet.

Reader, I kissed him.

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Thank you for all your comments and to everyone readying this story! I hope you like this very long chapter! Let me know your thoughts - I really appreciate it.