TRIGGER WARNING

Ok, so there are some potentially traumatic scenes in this chapter - I hopefully haven't been gratuitous because I don't find them entertaining as such, but I do want to explore them and the trauma resulting from them.

So - if you need a trigger warning, here it is. I touch on abortion, domestic abuse, sexual abuse and attempted rape. I hope that you can still read it, and I've been sensitive enough.

Chapter Text

There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends.

— Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

A few days before we were to leave Osgiliath to return to Minas Tirith, Rin invited us healers to her quarters, which were large and expansive, treated us to lunch and told us she was staying in the city. I was surprised, but her face was set. She and Erik were to stay and run the unofficial healers set-up in the poor part of the city - of this I was glad. And we were all to come to their wedding tomorrow afternoon in the healers gardens.

We all looked at each other uncertainly. Thavron looked like he had swallowed a lemon.

I threw myself at Rin. "We're all so happy for you!" I gushed. "What a lovely surprise! But I will miss you so much"

Luckily this roused the rest of the group to shake hands with Erik (who was glaring at us as if daring us to say anything) and embrace Rin who was looking relieved.

"Girlie, I don't know which Valar took pity on me, but trust me, I know how lucky I am," growled Erik to me as I reluctantly shook his hand.

"You hurt her, we will poison you," I said in an undertone.

"Thavron has just said my guts are for garters if I put a foot wrong," he answered.

Too right, I thought.

But the wedding was lovely. It was just us healers - I didn't dare bring Glorfindel - the last time that we would be all together, it served as a farewell, too. Erik looked, if not handsome, then surprisingly clean, and Rin was glowing in a green velvet gown. A Osgiliath official gave the ceremony gravitas, and I had never spent time in Erik's presence where he hadn't spat on the ground before or threatened to, so it was a momentous occasion. It didn't feel romantic as such, and it felt like it came out of nowhere to me, but for some reason it felt like the end of something. It made me uneasy.

"Erik is the one who enjoys amputating?" Glorfindel asked, when we were in bed that night.

"A horrifying but accurate way of describing him," I replied, snuggling into his side. "I cannot imagine how he got her. I think the world has gone mad."

"Sometimes things that don't make sense to us make sense to others," said Glorfindel, entirely too wisely as I drifted off to sleep. Perhaps that was what people thought me and him, I thought, sleepily.

Then we were on the road, and headed towards Minas Tirith. I was back with the healers, but we had barely any patients. They were all either left in the halls of healing in Osgiliath or well enough to travel on their own. We were travelling light for once. Denvy was among those who were walking back to Minas Tirith before heading to Tolfalas. I shyly introduced him to Glorfindel, and they animatedly talked of fishing until I got so bored I left them to it.

The night of the first day we made camp, I was still trying to understand how Rin, a capable, brilliant healer had been compelled to marry the worst healer I had ever beheld.

"I cannot help thinking that men have more to gain from marriage than women, and that is why we are told that our sole purpose in life is to marry," said Isobel. We were lying on our backs in our tent, staring up at the ceiling. "We all know that men live longer married than single, but women live longer single than married."

"Gah," I said, morosely.

"What advantage can Rin get from marrying Erik?"

"Companionship? Is he rich?" I wondered. "He is stealing supplies from the halls of healing to take downtown for her," I mused.

"Righting a wrong that is man-made is surely not enough to compel her to marriage."

Isobel was clearly thinking over marriage to Astro, who was still betrothed to someone else. What a tangle, I thought; I should not like to be part of a triangle like that. Too many hurt feels to navigate.

We travelled a lot faster than I was used to without injured men, but it felt slow because I was studiously ignoring Lind who was travelling next to Elwen and a dozen other noblewomen, including Tinthel, and had very few charges to look after. I also thought I should keep my distance from Glorfindel and Elrond, so kept close to Thavron.

He was in a mood.

"It's her choice," said Varin, wearily. It seemed we were all having the same conversation.

"It's a bloody waste!" snapped Thavron, who had taken Rin's marriage to Erik rather hard.

"I don't think I'll ever get married," said Monte, and began to explain to me and Isobel how he was scared of beautiful women until he realised who he was speaking to and started spluttering and went pink. Astro dragged him to the other side of the cavalcade and gave him a lecture about thinking before he spoke.

Isobel and I looked at each other burst into laughter, and for the next few days teased him mercilessly about it.

I was going to miss my friends so much when I left for Arnor, I realised.

In some ways I was glad to return to Minas Tirith. It was familiar at least, and I was given the same set of rooms so in some way it felt like I had come home. But Minas Tirith was not home, I told myself, as I sat down on my bed and looked out the window. I was not sure how long we would stay here before we left for Lindon which was so far north and it made me anxious.

"I think… it is best not to rush into things," said Isobel as we ground herbs in the halls of healing a few days later. They had been mostly rebuilt and even expanded, but now that war was over, and the Enemy defeated, we did not have much critical patients. It felt almost… leisurely.

"Indeed," I said, my mind on other matters. I had not seen Glorfindel since we had arrived. He was much shut up with the two Gondorian kings and his own monarch. He had visited me in the middle of the night, but not awoken me. I would not have realised (although I had slept so deeply) but he had left me a note.

You sleep with your mouth open.

I had snorted with laughter, but I missed him. There was someone else whose presence was starkly absent.

"For marriage is permanent, and cannot be absolved, so really, it must be done only when one is sure and I don't feel sure," carried on Isobel.

"What is this wittering?" Snapped Thavron, who had swept into the herb room and was glaring at us.

"We are talking of marriage," I said and he snorted. He ushered Isobel out, but I grabbed his sleeve.

"Where are Berendine and Joy? I have not seen them in so long."

"I don't know where she is," said Thavron, heavily. "I will try and make enquiries for you."

Thavron knew this city and its networks, and he had influence and discretion, but it did not ease my mind. Where was she? Was Isildur hiding her somewhere? I had not seen them since I had left for Minas Tirith and that was a long time ago. She surely hadn't gone to Mordor with Isildur, he must have left her in North Ithilien, I thought. All alone with a toddler, I thought, in a war. I did not want to think about the possibility of something happening to her.

There was someone else that was troubling me. I knew Lind would not apologise to me, she had too much pride for that, and was too much used to me being her social inferior to even think it needed. On reflection, she clearly thought I was Anarion's mistress, and I was sure that there were still some rumours about that flying around. So perhaps she could not be blamed for all of it. But Tinthel's pernicious influence had altered her so much that I did not want to be friends with her anymore.

And yet, I longed to see her. It took me a week, but I went to her apartments when I knew she would be alone.

Wordlessly, she let me in and asked an attendant to fetch us tea. We were both stone faced, grim and on the verge of tears. It was clear we were both very angry with each other.

"Have you come here to apologise to me?" She asked.

I almost laughed, but I saw from the look on her face she was serious.

"Tinthel says that being friends with you does me no credit, and indeed, that is why an offer hasn't been made by either of the kings to me," she said, sipping her tea.

The gall of Tinthel, I thought.

"She's a poisonous little bitch, and Valar knows what she's told both Isildur and Anarion about you. I don't trust her as far as I can throw her. It's more likely that she has been sabotaging your prospects of marriage the entire time that you've lived with her - you are prettier and younger than her and she's probably jealous."

I could tell that this hit had landed, but Lind would never admit it; at least not to me.

"You are the one going on assignations in gardens," she hissed.

I didn't know whether or not to tell her that Anarion wanted to marry me. I decided against it.

"Promise me you will stay away from Isildur," I said.

"Do you want them both?" she snapped.

"I want neither of them! He is dangerous. He's always been dangerous but what happened up Mount Doom… I think it has unhinged him. Lind, be careful," I pleaded.

Her face took on an ugly look.

"I need not worry, I am nobility born and bred," she sneered. The inference would have been cutting if I cared a whit about being nobility.

"He beats his mistress! He has a hundred illegitimate children, he hits ladies in gardens!" I hissed.

"How he treats his mistress is not how he would treat his wife, if she were a lady of quality," insisted Lind.

"Lind, your father would not agree with that, he's a good man-"

"What do you know of fathers for you have none!"

"Where is my friend?" I demanded. "Where has Lind gone?" I realised, angrily that I was crying. She flinched, and looked away.

Tinthel chose this moment to storm into the room.

"How dare you show your face here, you slut," she spat, her eyes narrowing at me. I ignored her and looked at Lind. But she only looked down.

"Neither Anarion or Isildur will ever marry you," I told Tinthel. I told Lind to take heed of my advice and swept out the room.

In my apartment, I sulked and consulted my Quenya dictionary late into the night. Glorfindel's visits were sporadic, and he arrived at odd hours, and so agitated that I could not confide in him properly.

"I am no diplomat and it is a waste of my time! Indeed, I am not as bad as Gil-galad thinks I am, but I want to throttle him and throw that idiot over the ramparts!" He snapped, striding up and down my room. It was clear that Isildur was making their negotiations difficult. Elrond must be hard at work soothing things over.

I wondered if being cooped up in a city was upsetting him as well. There was a lot of smog in Minas Tirith and sometimes it wasn't even possible to see the stars. Elves are supposed to be in nature, I thought, and so are Tolfalasans. I desperately wanted to breathe in sea air, or forest air - or even fresh air!

But old friends brought bad news. As I walked with Isobel to her family's house for lunch one day, I noticed many soldiers idly around. I wondered why they hadn't gone home. And I began to notice more and more permanently injured soldiers lining the street, begging. I wondered how Gondor would look after them.

I found out the answer soon enough.

Denvy cornered me in the house of healing one day. I was surprised that he hadn't gone home to Rosa and his children. He looked pained.

"The gossip is that you're close to King Anarion, and I mean no disrespect Minnow, it's just, no one's been paid. Not since that first month. I've been fighting for Gondor for over a year - almost two, and I went into Mordor itself. I saw - with my own eyes - Him. And I can't go back to Rosa without a Castor to show for it."

"I… why haven't they paid you? Have they said?" I asked, horrified and worried.

Denvy shrugged and looked away. He looked thin, I realised.

"They say it's coming, but there's also a rumour that King Isildur thinks it was an honour to fight beside him," he said, bitterly.

That did sound like something he would say, I thought. But surely not to his men, his soldiers?

"Have you eaten?" I asked. He shook his head, and I pulled him into the healers mess and found him some bread and cheese. He tore the bread apart in his hands and chewed it morosely. Denvy was desperate, I realised, Denvy whose irrepressible spirits had not even been dampened by Mordor! This was worrying.

"It's only us two and Lady Lind left. Everyone else that left Tolfalas on that boat is dead," he told me, after a while. I had known that, but no one had said it out loud.

I held his hand and squeezed it. But I couldn't dwell on what had happened, I told myself, I had to think about what I could control in the future.

The healers had always been paid. But then I thought that came from a different fund that Thavron had control over. And I had always received extra payment. What a privileged position to be in, I thought to myself. I had received gifts for my work that was more than anything Gondor would ever pay a healer, but the soldiers had not. "I will look into it. Will you come to my apartments in three days?"

He nodded.

There was a knock on my door later that evening, and I wondered if Denvy had found he couldn't wait. I rushed to it, worried for him. But a more welcome sight greeted me.

"Oh thank the Valar! Berendine!" I cried, embracing her. She was wearing a travelling cloak, still hooded, and carrying her daughter on her hip. In her other hand, she held a suitcase. I ushered her in.

Joy started to wail and Berendine tried to hush her, so I scooped Joy up and jiggled her around on my waist, telling her how much I missed her.

"Do you remember me, Joy?"

She nodded and stuck her finger up her nose. "Min min," she said.

"That's right, Min min!"

But I wasn't as pleased as I sounded. There was a scratch on her cheek that looked like it could be fingernails.

I turned back to Berendine who had crossed the room, and was standing at the open window with her back to me. She dropped her hood and I gazed at her softly. Her right eye was closed, swollen and shades of red and purple. The bruising was dark and violent looking. Her delicate small nose had been broken.

I reached out and took her hand gently, leading her to the sofa. "I will help you in any way you desire," I said, plainly.

She didn't look at me for a long time, and instead fussed over Joy who had scrambled into her lap and was wriggling about, agitated. She could tell her mother's mood, I thought. Children often pick up on these things.

After a long time, she spoke.

"I believe I may be pregnant," she whispered, looking at the floor. "Again."

"Ah," I said.

"He's very angry, Min. And I could take it, if it were just myself. I did before. But he hurt Joy. By accident, you know? But still. He hurt my baby. I cannot… I just cannot."

"You do not need to justify yourself to me," I said, softly. "If this is what you need, I will help you."

"I am scared for Joy. I need to be able to look after her. I'm all she has," she whimpered.

"You have friends. You and Joy have friends," I reassured her, but she wasn't listening.

"I want to be free of him!" She suddenly wailed. "I know what happened to the last girl, I know. I cannot have this baby, Minnow. I will not."

I nodded. "Of course. You know what is right."

So she meant to leave him once and for all, I thought, looking at her suitcase. Good. It was about time.

It was dark now, and so I led her through the servants back ways until we eventually reached the houses of healing. I installed her in one of the private rooms and made her some tea, and asked her how far along she was. Luckily, it was early.

Wordlessly, I made the concoction, the principle ingredient being Savin, a kind of juniper berry. I bade her drink it, while I smeared salve on her eye. She showed me the bruises on her body, and I gently covered them in ointment as well, and gave her the bottle. It wasn't the first time I had to make the Savin - there were so many soldiers in the city that women were coming into the halls of healing every day worried they may be pregnant. Thavron had made large batches of it, and gently gave it out to women, but there were some healers who were more judgemental.

But I was a midwife first and foremost, and my female patients deserved respect and treatment.

I kissed Berendine's forehead and smeared a tiny bit of ointment on the scratch on Joy's face.

"There! Good as new!"

"Min min," she babbled, happily. "Min min fix."

I'll do my best, I promised her silently.

From there, we walked silently and swiftly through the palace. Joy had fallen asleep and was growing heavy in my arms, but I kept going. Berendine, too, looked exhausted. It was dark and shadowy, but I could hear whispers and arguments through the walls. This whole city was a tinderbox, I thought, waiting to explode.

I softly knocked on Thavron's door.

He took one look at me, Berendine and Joy and stood aside. I pulled Berendine over the threshold and set Joy down on a sofa. I'd never been in his apartments before, so I had a good look around. He lit some candles.

"Can you house Berendine and Joy until we make for Lindon and Arnor?" I asked. He nodded, and took Berendine into a bedroom. I picked up Joy again and followed her.

"You should sleep here tonight as well," he said, quietly. "Walking around the palace at this time is not advisable."

"Please, do not leave me, Minnow," Berendine said, weakly. I nodded. As I lay on the bed, with Joy in between us, still in my dress and listening to Berendine's slow breathing, I wondered bleakly how it had come to this.

Then Joy whacked me in the stomach and made me wheeze. Grunting, I thanked the Valar that Glorfindel was a very still sleeper.

However dark my thoughts were, and how little I slept, I was glad when the sun rose. I stretched and got Joy ready as Berendine clumsily got out of bed. Her bruises had lightened to a very garish chartreuse in the night thanks to my applications, and her swollen eye was looking better. She said she could see a little, and I applied more salve to her.

We made a very merry, and quite noisy, breakfast party.

"Doesn't it make you wish we had children, Thav?" asked Varin, dreamily looking at Joy who was covered in her own snot.

Thavron looked so alarmed that I burst out laughing.

I made Berendine drink more Savin, and she confided that she had started bleeding.

She grabbed my hand and looked at me imploringly, mouthing her thanks. I nodded.

After telling Thavron all, I felt assured that she was in the safest hands possible, and that I deserved a hot bath. Indeed, that was all I thought about on the way back to my apartments. Varin accompanied me to my door, talking about this and that, and gave me a hug.

However, all thoughts of a bath disappeared when I found what was waiting for me. Glorfindel had chosen the worst possible time to show up to my bedchambers after a long absence. He was sitting on my unswept in bed with his head in his hands. He looked up, his expression so despondent and his eyes so pink and blotchy that I was sure he had been crying.

"Oh Glor!" I cried, and burst into tears and through myself at him. I told him everything through my tears. "He hurt his own daughter, Glor! And Berendine was black and blue… She did not tell me everything she had been through. I fear it has been bad."

"Ai, I feared the worst, that you had gone to Anarion, but this is bad tidings as well," he said, looking relieved.

I was too drained to scold him for being jealous, so I found a maid and ordered a bath. I let Glorfindel tell me about what the Elves had planned. It was only Glorfindel's contingent that remained: many of the Elves had left to go back home, and all that remained to be done was to hash out agreements with the Gondorian kings and then they could home. Glorfindel was furious that it was taking so long; Isildur didn't see the hurry. He could not understand they were keen to go home. Now that their mission had been completed, there was no urgency to push him forward.

Even Gil-galad was beginning to weary, he said. But enough had now been decided that they could leave.

"We are to make for Lindon in a week and we will pass by Lothlorien as well. We take with us Anarion and Elwen too, for they are to travel to Arnor, and it is in much the same direction," he said.

"We're leaving for Lindon in a week? Oh, I'm glad for some good news," I said, lying back and closing my eyes. The hot water was soothing my aching muscles. I had spent the whole of last night tense and watchful, convinced Isildur would jump from the shadows and grab Berendine.

Glorfindel watched me oil my hair, and then reluctantly, I stepped out of the cooling water and wrapped a sheet around me.

"No," he said, pulling it off me with a smile.

"I'm very wet and cold!"

"Yes, it suits you well!"

He scooped me up and took me to the bedroom, where he lay me down gently on the bed, kissed me deeply and then kissed his way up my thighs. When he nipped my inner thigh I squealed and he pulled my legs over his shoulders. Almost lazily, his pace slow, he entered and withdrew his index finger into me, and then slowly curled it. This was new, I thought.

"Ahhhhh, where did you learn to do that?" I gasped.

"You have no faith it me," he retorted, smiling at me and then, his breathing ghosting on my thigh, he continued to stroke me slowly with his finger, curling it inside me every so often and hitting spots that made me cry out, as he sucked my clit between his lips and flicked it with tongue, his pace fast and his pressure firm. I started shaking, my back arching, still damp from the bath and the cold morning air and flushed from the heat that was spreading all over me. I wanted to scream but didn't dare make a loud noise - somehow Glorfindel knew this and moved his free hand from where it sat on my stomach to my mouth and closed around it. I threw my head back and orgasmed with a low groan.

He climbed up to spoon me, and holding me in his arms, I gazed up at him adoringly, utterly spent.

"I love you so much," I said, unthinkingly. He looked softer, and more open than I had seen him for a while, his hair mussed and his eyes smiling at me. He had a languorous air about him; also a rather smug one. I reached up and kissed him, tasting myself. He stroked my hair and then, licked my ear. I smiled as he pulled off his tunic and leggings and he was naked. Leaning with his back against the headboard, pulled me on top of him so that I straddled him.

"Ai," I said, as I sunk down upon him. He closed his eyes as filled myself up, clenching around him as the aftershocks of my recent orgasm made my muscles twitch.

"Slowly," he commanded. I had never admitted it to him, but I sometimes enjoyed when Glorfindel bossed me about - but only in bed. I rocked against him very slowly, sliding up and down his length, and he reached up to gently rub my nipples with his thumbs, cupping my breasts every so often. "Tell me you want me," he commanded, in a low voice, but I couldn't pay attention. Every part of me felt like it was on fire, and I felt close to the edge again.

"Oh… Valar," I said, involuntarily, as he put his hands around my hips and pulled me hard towards him. It was almost too much, I thought.

"Minnow, tell me you want me," he demanded.

"I want you so much," I whimpered. He pulled my hair back and kissed my neck slowly, dragging his teeth across my skin. "I need you."

His glow started pulsating and I briefly wondered what it meant until he pulled me further back by the hair until I was arching my back, leaning backwards. No thoughts entered my mind apart from: more. He leant forward to take my nipple in his mouth, and my knees, which had been hugging his hips, moved and my legs wrapped around his waist. I hooked my ankles together and then squeezed.

"Ai ai ai," he breathed and then groaned. He moved so he was kneeling and I pressed my body against his and thrusting hard down upon him, I bit his ear.

We both orgasmed at the same time.

"Each time is better than the last," I said, dazed.

"Good," he grunted, and lay down, pulling me into my spot on his chest. He was quite sweaty and I needed another bath. How much of that was underpinned by jealousy and possession, I wondered idly. Part of me didn't care: if Glorfindel was finding new ways to bring me pleasure (where had he learnt to use his fingers like that?) Then I could consider it a very nice silver lining of managing his jealousy. There had been a new kind of confidence in the way he touched me, or was it possessiveness?

"I will never go to Anarion," I told him, after holding him close for a bit. "Never."

"Never ever?" He asked, his nose in my hair. It was one the one part of me that was dry.

"Never ever. Silly, jealous Elf," I chided him, exhausted, and promptly fell asleep.

I slept for most of the morning, and awoke to find another note from Glorfindel saying he had gone to check on his troops. I sighed and decided I must do my duty. I had plenty of reasons to speak to Anarion. Glorfindel had asked me to tell the Gondorian king I would never marry him, and I had been charged by Denvy to ask about the soldiers' pay, and I had to at least try to speak to him about Isildur.

My bath, now utterly cold, was still in the other room, and I climbed in and shivering, washed my body quickly. It would not do to go see Anarion smelling of Elf sex. But it would probably get the message across, I thought, giggling to myself.

An hour later, in a demure dress, feeling nervous, I presented myself to Anarion's study, having ascertained that Isildur was engaged elsewhere.

"Minnow."

He looked well enough, a bit tired, I thought, and he had shaved. He smiled up at me and stood. Taking my hands in his, he led me to a sofa where we sat next to each other. This was not going well, I thought. I must assert myself.

"I have come on errand," I told him. He raised his eyebrow at me and smiled indulgently which annoyed me. "On behalf of my people."

"Your people?" he asked, confused.

"The soldiers from Tolfalas."

"They're not yours," he replied, archly.

"I don't mean they belong to me, I mean that I belong to them. And the other soldiers as well. You may not know, but they are due wages," I said, neutrally.

Something crossed his face, but he carefully suppressed it. "And I suppose they applied to you to ask on their behalf? How valorous of them."

"When can they expect to be paid?" I asked. He stood up, angry and turned away from them. "Anarion? These are your people. They fought orcs and goblins and went to Mordor for you!"

"Not for me. For Elendil. Elendil, who knew he would die on the battlefield and not have to deal with the mess he left behind. There is no money, Minnow," he said.

"You mean paying the soldiers is not a priority," I snapped. There was plenty of money in this city. He turned to look at me, his face set.

"We do not have as deep coffers as you think. We are still rebuilding parts of the city, I need money to rebuild Minas Morghul into Minas Ithil, and I need to pay off several noblemen in the council who are making noise about neither Isildur or I having any heirs, and Elwen is unmarried too, and I must think of her dowry. We owe so much money to Durin, and you come here to ask for a few pennies for the soldiers!"

I let him breathe heavily for a few seconds before I spoke.

"They went to war for you and they were promised wages. How long has it been since you paid them last?"

He told me that none of the soldiers had ever been paid. Elendil had, apparently, thought most of them would die, and so had kept promising their wages once the war was over.

I was astounded. That this has been done deliberately was beyond my wildest dreams.

"It is a pitiful sum anyway, they can hardly miss it," he said. He sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

"They need that money! More than you do!" I snapped. "And how dare you say that there are no heirs! I delivered one of Isildur's heirs myself!"

"A girl! All of his bastards are female, to my knowledge-"

"And do you know what Isildur does to girls?"

He flinched.

"Berendine came to me in a worse state than Lady Damerel. Even baby Joy had suffered Isildur's wrath."

"What do you expect me to do? How am I to curb him?"

"If you don't take the trouble to check him, his flaws will bring ruin upon more than Berendine. Is his character fixed? Is he beyond any amendment? Will you not even try?" I asked.

"I have! You think it is not easy… I would have your help on this matter, I would have your help on all things, Minnow," he said, pleadingly.

"Then help Berendine," I said, tersely.

He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"I would not trouble yourself on account of your friend Berendine and her natural born child. Such women never amount to anything at any rate, and must pay the price for what they have done."

They always do, I thought, angrily.

"You are wrong on that account," I said severely. "I am the natural born daughter of nobody knows who! Or at least, no one will trouble themselves to own up to me, and I have amounted to something."

"You know I did not mean you," snapped Anarion. "Come, cannot we speak of better things? There is much I would say to you that does not concern Isildur. I wish to speak of the future… of our future. Of what could be."

I stood up. I couldn't hear any more of this.

"There are consequences coming your way. Can you imagine that a city full of angry soldiers who are owed money will not cause you any trouble? They are prepped to riot. It will turn ugly - fast," I warned him.

He looked astounded and laughed at me.

"Pay the rabble rousers? My father would not. Isildur will not."

I was too tired for arguments, too angry, sad and disappointed. "I have told you time and time again, that you are not your father and your people need you."

"They will never rebel against us. We are Numenorean, Minnow," he said, smiling at me.

"No one apart from you gives a shit," I said, derisively, and swept out the door.

Aimlessly, I wondered round the city, looking at the faces of the people. They looked grim: and this was a city that had recently survived a siege from the Enemy. Did it always happen like this: after a war had ended, things got worse for the people? The wares shops were selling looked paltry to my eyes, and I noticed prices had gone up. There was a desperate note in people's voices as they talked to each other.

I bought a small toy for Joy at one of the stalls; a little wooden horse with a bell that I thought she'd like. She needed something to cheer her up; it must have scared her seeing her mother being hurt by her father, even if she couldn't understand what was going on. She deserved a better childhood, I thought, trying not to cry.

"And he said, that Marion said that he just jumped right off the ramparts. Last night it was," said an old man with a grey beard selling pies from a box. "Want a pie, miss?" He asked, seeing he had caught my attention, but I demurred. He turned back to his friend. "Came back from war broken, and couldn't afford rent, couldn't get another job. Couldn't pay for the kids. It's too much for any man to bear."

A chill went down my spine. I tucked the wooden horse into my cloak and hurried back to the palace.

First I went to the halls of healing and found Thavron, and dragged him into a room.

"I'm worried they will riot," I finished. I handed him the toy I had bought for Joy and asked him to give it to her. I didn't think I should visit if she was supposed to be hiding. He pocketed it.

"Oh, I'm sure they will," said Thavron, unconcerned. "There's been riots before. Perhaps not on this scale, and I'm sure our dearly beloved king will not back down and pay them. We will barricade the houses of healing, and then deal with the aftermath. That's all we can do."

"I don't feel as assured as I hoped you would make me."

"I have no influence with Isildur. And Anarion has spent all his. It is good you are leaving for the north, piglet. This city will be no place for you soon."

But a week was a long time to wait, I thought. I felt antsy and unsure of myself. I dragged my feet back to the palace and sought Elwen, who was supervising six attendants packing her possessions.

"Packing is so tiring, Minnow!" she declared, and swooned onto a sofa. "I've had to explain how I want things folded no less than three times! Honestly, it's just folding, surely anyone could do it!"

I wanted to laugh at her, but the tense look on her handmaiden's faces stopped me. I had hated being a maid; it was such hard, unrelenting work, and I didn't want to anger them. But I did worry that Elwen would incite her own riot when I wasn't paying attention.

"Your handmaids have made excellent progress," I said, with a smile. "I'm sure your beautiful dresses will be safely packed away on our journey. They do you much credit. Are you sad to be leaving Minas Tirith?"

We talked long into the night about her plans for the journey, and how many maids she was planning to take with her. She told me that she didn't think she could avoid Lind and Tinthel as well as a large part of the court journeying to Arnor as well.

"The people who dwell there are grim men called the Dunedain - they're Numenorean too but they were disgusted by the opulence and uh… the slave trade, so they left a few hundred years ago. Annie knows them well, but I've only ever visited. They take no joy in anything, Minnow, it's a very puritanical existence they have. Sad little stone cottages. Songs about how wretched everything is. Very cold weather. I met one of them when I was a child, his name was Berelas - he was the son of their leader, about Isildur's age, and he actually scolded me, scolded me, because I cried because the emerald fell out of my comb."

"How dare he!" I said, tonelessly, smiling at her.

"It was my mother's! All I have left of her. But he did find the emerald and gave it back to me, so I suppose he can't be all bad."

"Would you rather stay here?"

"No," she said, worriedly. "No, I would not."

Denvy came to see me in my apartments a few days later, and we ate fish pie and even had a dessert. It still felt like luxury to have good food after months and months of gruel. We talked of missing home, the sea, the beaches, the dolphins. Rosa and our childhoods. His children. Part of me wanted to go home I felt such a pang of homesickness.

I reached out my hand and dropped something in his.

"This is too much," he said, looking at the ruby in his hand. "Fish Girl, no. All I want is my due."

"I can spare it. And you're not going to get your due."

"No, well they'll regret that," Denvy said, bitterly.

"I am sure of it." I sighed, and asked him to leave Minas Tirith and head to the sea tonight. To hide the ruby, and only sell it or trade it when he got to Dol Amroth. "And take the money and spend it on your family, on Tolfalas. I think you are its only hope. It's one surviving soldier."

"I don't need your charity, Minnow, I just want my wages," he said, upset.

"I asked the king himself, Denvy. And I can feel what's coming. I'm leaving in a few days, too. Do not stay here. I fear it will get you killed."

He nodded. "I cannot repay you."

"Indeed you can!" I said, laughingly. "In fact, I insist on it! I would not be here, I would not have been given that ruby for stopping a plague in the Dwarvish mines if I had not gone to school. Make sure that Tolfalasan girls, like your daughter, get an education."

His hand clenched around the ruby. "That I can do."

"I may not ever see you again… look after our island," I said, and embraced him tightly.

"Fish Girl," he said, about to open the door. "I like your fella. Knows a lot about fishing."

"How did you know?" I asked, surprised.

He smirked. "Please. It's hard to hide feelings like that. I didn't tell him that I was your first kiss, if that's what you're worrying about! Didn't fancy getting beaten up by an Elf!"

I smacked his arm and he laughed. "Look after yourself, Denvy." And just like that, he slipped out of my apartments.

I spent the rest of the day with Isobel who was still fretting over Astro. "He's gone to speak to his betrothed and I told him I didn't want to know what he was going to do, but… I think I do want him to break it off with her!"

"Have you heard anything about… a riot?" I asked her quietly. I knew her family members were not exactly fans of the Royals.

She looked at me askance. "Don't ask me that. Not here," she said, softly and looked around. After we had finished grinding herbs, she took me into a linen cupboard and closed the door. "Are you going to tell Anarion?" she asked, grimly.

I realised she thought I was a snitch! I felt so angry: I had not asked to be raised from the ranks and was now in a half-way position where no one properly accepted me.

"No. I've already spoken to him about it. He thinks… well he thinks no one would rebel against Numenorians."

Isobel snorted. "He listens to you, though. We all know that. So perhaps he will not admit it, but he will think upon it. Things are being planned, Minnow. That's all I can say. Years of war and now this? We will not stand for it."

"I wish there was a better way. I only fear that it will make things worse."

"They cannot get much worse. Perhaps you do not know… there has been a swift rise in suicides."

My stomach lurched. I recalled the conversation in the market.

"I like Astro," I said, suddenly. "But whatever you choose, I know you will be fine."

She smiled wanly. "The people like you. Not the nobles, but who cares what they think? If you married Anarion now, I do not think they would riot. There would be enough hope to keep us going."

I shook my head at her.

"I cannot blame you, but it would be something, to have a commoner become queen. It would mean a lot to all of us."

Perhaps it would, I thought, but I could not do it.

Back in my apartments, my mind wandered. Where was Glorfindel? I had not seen him for days now, I thought. I slipped out of my shoes and began to think of what Lindon would be like. I had retrieved a few books from the library on the subject, and decided to read them in bed.

There was a bang in the next room. I jumped; another crash and my locked door had been kicked down. Through it stumbled a drunk and enraged Isildur, dishevelled. He towered over me, stinking of tobacco and alcohol.

"WHERE IS SHE?!" he yelled.

"No one is here!" I answered. He raised his arm, and while I scampered backwards, the back of his hand still caught me. The heavy signet ring felt like it had cracked my cheek. Dimly, I noticed I was on the ground. He slammed the door behind me, and smiled nastily at me.

Oh Valar, I thought.

"I know she came to you… It would be so easy to break you…" he hissed.

I ran into the other room but he caught me by the waist and threw me against the door frame. Dazed, I fell over.

"Where is that bitch Berendine? I find that she is missing, and this has your meddling fingerprints all over it!"

As he pushed me back onto the table, I felt my hand touch something amid the papers and books. It was Nimloth, my dagger. I swiped it and it slashed his face, across his nose and cheek, drawing blood. He cried out but didn't falter, and instead grabbed my wrist.

I heard - rather than felt - my wrist crack and I dropped the long knife.

He pinned me down with his body, blood streaming down his face, and I realised someone was screaming, but I couldn't figure out who it was. With one arm around my wrist, and another gripped my throat, he squeezed.

"I've been talking to Annie. I found out that he's never even had you - despite his obvious lust for you. He's not man enough to take what should be his. I, on the other hand, love deflowering-"

A bright glow came towards me and ripped away Isildur. I slid off the table and gasped in a deep breath and started coughing. Everything was blurry.

I dipped in and out consciousness for a while, trying so hard to grab onto something to ground me. But everything felt topsy turvy.

"Minnow, look at me," said Elrond, urgently, but I couldn't focus on anything. He said something in Quenya and the bright glowing light was next to me too. Both of them were touching my face, one stroking my hair back and the other lightly touching my throat.

"Tingly," I croaked, nonsensically then passed out completely.

I woke up later with a start and opened my eyes in a panic, but I was tucked in bed, safe. Elwen was holding my hand, her eyes puffy. Some time had passed, but not long, I thought. It was still nighttime - the day hadn't broken yet. Everything hurt.

I could hearing shouting next door. It was Glorfindel and Elrond - and a voice I thought was Gil-galad. I wondered why he was shouting. Two human voices were replying in more subdued tones.

"I am so sorry," said Elwen, tears sliding down her nose. Her lip was wobbling.

"Do not try to speak," advised Isobel. "I'm allowed to give you water if you want some."

She popped a straw in my mouth and I had best water I ever tasted. My throat felt so scratchy, and I ached all over.

I looked at her imploringly. She sighed. "From what I understand, Glorfindel came upon the king with… with you and… well, kicked up holy hell."

"I heard screaming and ran over. I saw what happened. Lord Glorfindel threw him across the room," said Elwen, her eyes flicking over to the wall. Indeed, there was a big dent in the wall where the stonework had crumbled. I was impressed. "He shone so bright I could barely stand to look at him. Isil- I mean, hegot up and Lord Glorfindel smacked him back down again. But he didn't lose his temper, he remained so controlled and so… cold, it was truly the most terrifying thing I have ever seen. It was almost like his light was cold… He bid me fetch Lord Elrond and I ran to find him, but he was only at the end of the corridor…"

"He almost broke your neck, and he has broken your wrist," said Isobel, tightly. I flexed my right hand tentatively and hissed. It hurt like hell, but I could still move it.

"Lord Elrond healed the worst of it, but when they saw what he had been trying to do…"

I raised my eyebrows expectantly at her. What had he been trying to do other than hurt me?

Isobel took my hand and grasped it tight. "He had ripped your bodice off, Min. You were in a state of undress."

I bit my lip as tears. Oh. I didn't want to think about it.

"Berendine and Joy?" I whispered hoarsely.

"You hid them well. They are safe," Isobel assured me. I was glad of that, at least.

The shouting grew noisier, and I could hear Elrond's voice. He was bellowing about how Isildur had disgraced the line of Elros and he was ashamed to know him.

Elwen winced. "The Elves are breaking with him forever. Anarion is trying to convince them not to break with him as well. But Elrond is not pleased with him either."

"What has Anarion done? I mean King Anarion?" asked Isobel, surprised.

"Nothing. He is slow to act, and we have always feared Isil-him. Annie is angry and shocked. But I do not know why. He has always done this. He has always hurt women," said Elwen, flatly.

"A lot of highborn men do," said Isobel softly.

There was a long pause.

"We did not realise you were married to Glorfindel," said Elwen, hesitantly.

I raised my eyebrows, confused. Married, I thought, dazed.

"It is a deep insult for… him to have tried to do that to someone's wife. A high Elf's wife. It's always wrong, but you know what nobles are like: they put more stock in things like that. Sorry," Isobel added to Elwen.

"You are right. I know you are right. Minnow always has such interesting friends. I wish we had met under better circumstances," said Elwen, softly.

Elrond swept in, his face betraying nothing, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. He must be good at cards, I thought, hysterically.

"Ah, Minnow, you're awake again. Good. Your wrist is broken, your cheek badly bruised, and you almost suffered a cervical fracture, but I was here in time to heal your bones, so you will recover quickly, and there will be no physical lasting damage," he said, sitting down next to Elwen and peering over me.

"A broken neck," explained Isobel to Elwen.

"Two days of bedrest, and then we will make for Lindon, but you'll have to ride with Glorfindel. You're not a good enough horsewoman to ensure a soft enough journey. All in all, you will be fine."

Elwen let out a large sigh of relief and muttered praise to the Valar in Sindarin. He enquired to Isobel about how much water I had drunk, as if it were only a social visit, and I had not been attacked by the king of Gondor. His bedside manner was outstanding, I thought, bleakly.

I looked up at him beseechingly.

"Glorfindel needs a minute to calm down: he is very angry and still.… glowing in a way that is painful to human eyes. Gil-galad is talking to him," said Elrond, and started singing a lullaby in Sindarin to me.

I woke up a few hours later from the light, to find Glorfindel lying next to me, gently stroking my hair.

"Ai, Minnow," he said, kissing my forehead. He sat up.

"Please don't leave me," I whispered, gripping his shirt with my good hand. He reached over for a glass of water and with the aid of the straw, I drank deeply.

"I will never leave you, you may count on that," he whispered to me. He started singing in his low baritone voice and I slipped into sleep, dreaming of the sea again.

The next two days were a little tiresome, but I enjoyed the visitors. Astro read to me from a novel each morning and had Isobel and I enraptured in the story, and Thavron and Varin visited separately. Varin whispered that they were guarding Berendine and Joy closely, and had prepared her to travel to Arnor where we all hoped they would both be safe. Thavron held my hand and told me that he didn't much like children, but that I was the daughter he had never wanted and would never have.

"Love you too, Thav," I whispered, rolling my eyes.

"I cannot tell you how angry and shocked I am - we all are - that is come to this. I'm surprised Glorfindel didn't kill him. Although it is good he didn't. We don't need another war," he said, looking exhausted.

Things were not well in the city or the house of healing, I surmised. But it hurt to talk so I conserved my words. I was so angry. I wanted them to riot. I wanted the people to show Isildur how much they hated him.

Monte brought me flowers and stammered under Glorfindel's direct stare, but managed to sit down and tell me all the amusing gossip from the halls of healing.

Elwen rarely left my side. I didn't ask where Anarion or Isildur were, and I didn't want to know.

"Annie asks if he can visit," said Elwen. Glorfindel stiffened, and I could tell he was watching me closely. I shook my head at her. I did not want to face him. Not stuck, lying down in a bed, feeling like I had been pummelled by the sea all over my body.

"Lind?" I asked.

Elwen shook her head at me. I could not help it, the betrayal of my old friend was the final straw, and I started weeping and nothing either of them could do would stop the tears, not even Glorfindel talking to me in singsong Quenya, and exhausted, I passed out.

The next day, I could sit up in bed and had to call that progress. I was in a foul mood, with a throbbing headache, and every time I moved it jolted my neck painfully. How I was to travel to Lindon like this, I didn't know and I was terrified that they would leave me behind.

Glorfindel was packing my things. "You have so few possessions," he scolded. I rolled my eyes. I watched him walk about my rooms, picking up my books and putting them in his bag. He was wearing my favourite grey tunic and green leggings, and looked more regal than the kings of Gondor in their pomp.

He was taking good care of me, I thought. So now was a good time to ask questions he didn't want to answer.

"Elwen asked me why I hadn't told her we were married. And is that not what Erestor has been calling me? Your wife?" I asked.

Glorfindel put down his bag that he had been putting my dresses in, and took my hand and pressed it to his lips.

I still had the Quenya dictionary that I had… borrowed from the library at Osgiliath. While I do not usually hold with theft, I also do not hold with hoarding knowledge or deciding who is allowed to learn and who must stay ignorant, as the librarians at Osgiliath seemed to take such pleasure from. So I took the dictionary with me when we left the city.

For a long time, I had not been entirely sure what the word I had heard was. Quenya was so unfamiliar to me. It could be "heri" which meant 'lady'. That would make sense, I thought, being referred to as Glorfindel's lady. It was certainly better than 'mistress' which would be entirely accurate, too. But then again I could have heard "vessë" I thought, looking at a guide to pronunciation. That meant 'wife'.

That was what Erestor had called me, I was sure of it. But we could not be married, I thought.

"We are not exactly married," he said, slowly.

"Generally marriage is considered binary. You're either married or you're not," I said, archly.

"This is it for me," said Glorfindel, solemnly. "You can never be my wife the Elvish way, but I would be unable to bond with an elleth now. You are to all intents and purposes, my wife in all but name."

"You sound so cheerful about it," I snapped.

"I am trying to be matter of fact. You are the closest I will ever get to bonding with someone, or having a wife."

Why was it so hard from him to say he loves me, I wondered. I wanted to cry, but I had cried enough over the last few days, and seen other people crying over me, too.

"You seem to take no pleasure from it, Glor," I said sadly. "Do you regret it? Do you regret me?"

He replied in the negative, but he might as well have said: "not yet".

"Why are your friends calling me your wife then?" I asked.

"They are teasing me," he said, tensely. I scoffed, and got out of the bed. Glorfindel led me back to it.

"No amount of determination will heal you before you are ready to be healed," he said.

"But I must try," I protested. I hauled myself up and made for the mirror.

"No!" Said Glorfindel, putting himself between the mirror and me.

"That bad, eh?" I said, weakly.

"You are not ready to see yourself."

However, I insisted I needed to, and eventually he relented. I almost regretted it. My cheek was puffy and swollen, and I looked sallow. The bruising around my wrist was severe: he had squeezed it until it had broken. But it was the purple bruise on my neck that was the worst. He had left his mark; I could see his fingerprints.

I lay down on the bed and tried not to cry. I sat up again and tried to argue with Glorfindel to take me for a walk - he refused. To let me into the gardens - he said no.

"I must have some occupation! Or I will go mad!" I cried. He sat on the bed and took my hands.

"You must rest," he said.

"I'm fine!"

"You most certainly are not!"

"How do you know?" I snapped.

"Minnow. I have died. I, and I did not say a word for a year. A year. You must give yourself patience to heal. Understand?"

He looked so concerned, I thought. In fact, he almost looked tired. Perhaps I did need to take it slow. Usually I powered through everything, pushing myself to the extreme to complete my task. But healing needed patience. I wanted to show Isildur that he couldn't get to me, that I was stronger than him, that he hadn't affected me.

But the shock of my reflection… Perhaps I should do as Glorfindel said.

"Yes, General Glorfindel," I said, meekly. He rolled his eyes at me.

"I would never let you be a soldier in my army. I doubt you would follow my orders."

"I do what Thavron bid me," I said primly.

"Thavron pretends he is not wrapped around your finger like the rest of us, but he is."

I snorted.

The day before we were to leave, Astro and Isobel visited me one last time, holding hands and smiling shyly.

"We are married," Isobel told me. I dropped my jaw in amazement and softly embraced her. Astro looked pleased.

"Congratulations," said Glorfindel, wryly.

"After seeing you… I just thought. We just thought," Isobel looked up at Astro, and he squeezed her hand. "And I'm going to continue being a healer. Thavron says he will help me, and I dare anyone to stop me."

"I doubt anyone could," said Astro.

She leaned forward. "And I'm not going to wash his socks," she confided.

Astro rolled his eyes. "It's far more likely that I will be washing your socks, Izzie," he said.

"I am so happy you have each other," I said, smiling.

"Obviously if we have a daughter we will name her Minnow," said Isobel.

"You will not!" I said, shocked. Glorfindel laughed at me, and direct the conversation towards their plans for the future, asking all the questions he knew I would want to know. I demanded that they write to me, and they promised that they would. It felt hard to leave them.

"You will miss them," he said, that night, as I lay in his arms. I nodded. "Shall I tell you about Lindon?"

I fell asleep to Glorfindel describing all the different types of trees in Lindon, and felt at peace.

The next morning, Berendine was standing between Thavron and Varin waiting for me, who were looking like worried parents. Varin passed Joy to her, and she embraced both of them. I lumbered over, still feeling clumsy and awkward in my bruised body and said my farewells. I couldn't believe that I was saying goodbye to Thavron.

"We will miss you, piglet, but I know you will be looked after," said Thavron, nodding at Glorfindel. "And you better write!"

"Not all tears are evil, Minnow. Let yourself cry," said Glorfindel as he placed me on his rather large horse. Leaning against his torso, with his arm wrapped around me, I felt comforted. The large cavalcade of Elves and Gondorian soldiers, as well as nobility who had opted to join Anarion as he set up his court in Arnor, began to move. As we cantered down the twisting road out of Minas Tirith, I got chills on my spine. We were a large group, but no one from the lower levels had come to see us off. In fact, the streets were deathly quiet and there was no one around. No stalls, no shops were open, no people were about.

How could Anarion think of leaving this city like this? On the brink of riots or rebellion? Was he still in denial? Or did he prefer to leave Isildur to it?

It's not your responsibility, I told myself. Do not dwell on it.

As we left the gates, I expected the city to break out into a thunderous chaotic fight, but even leagues away, when I twisted and looked behind me, it seemed quiet and still.

"You will hurt your neck if you keep doing that, and anger Elrond," said Glorfindel.

"I would never want to anger such a handsome Elf," I said, placidly.

Elwen had taken Berendine under her wing, I was surprised but glad to see. She had asked her to be a handmaid, which I had baulked at, but Berendine told me she was very pleased about. The wages were high, and attending a princess was a high honour. And easy work, she said.

"Elwen is very demanding," I said, worried.

Berendine rolled her eyes. "If you consider re-doing her plaits again and again so they are just right, or polishing all her necklaces demanding, then yes, she is demanding. It is not back-breaking work and I can manage a princess well enough. She is not cruel, Min," she said.

"No, that she isn't." Just thoughtless at times. But I saw Elwen play with Joy, and I smiled.

I had thought Berendine might want to be free of the family once and for all, but perhaps she was wiser than me. Her eye had completely healed now, and it was only if you looked at her closely that you could see the bruising around her face. Berendine was strong, I told myself, in ways that I was not: more patient, sweeter, and determined in her own way.

"Stop worrying," said Glorfindel, as we stopped for the night. He set up a bedroll for me, and watched me as I slept. Indeed, I was never away from the watchful eye of Glorfindel, with Elrond and Erestor occasionally deputising.

We only stopped at night for five hours. Otherwise we rarely rested - only for a hour at lunch a day. It was tiring, and most of the time I slept against Glorfindel as we rode.

We were moving at Elf pace, I found out; but it would still take six weeks to reach Lothlorien, our first stop, where we would rest for two weeks, and head west to Eriador, where we would part from the humans, and then further north to Lindon.

"You will enjoy your stay in Lothlorian, Min," said Elwen, and proceeded to tell me the history of the woods. I couldn't wait to see the forest with the Mallorn trees. Elwen was excited, too, because they had grown in Numenor as well.

"Min min!" demanded Joy who wanted me to play with her toy horse. She loved horses, and waved to them all day as she rode on one of the wagon's with her mother. Elrond and I had carefully introduced her to his horse, which was fairly calm, and she had stroked his nose. Elrond was fond of children, I thought, and looked at Joy a little broodily.

Glorfindel, as usual, ignored Joy. I was ignoring a longer list of people (Anarion, Lind, Tinthel…) in our group, so I didn't question him about it, but Glorfindel's aversion to children was strange. When he thought Joy was my child with Anarion, it was odd enough, but now?

But Elwen was still speaking. "It is ruled by a Celeborn and Galadriel, who is a powerful witch. My father could see into people's hearts, but it is said she can see into their minds and read their very thoughts! How exciting."

I did not think that sounded exciting at all. A witch? I'd had enough of magic, and I certainly didn't want anyone to read my thoughts. Luckily, I thought, I probably wasn't important enough to gain her interest.

But that name was known to me. Someone had mentioned it months and months ago in relation to Glorfindel. I couldn't remember what had been said.

Berendine assured me that my bruises had all healed, and Elrond said my wrist was close to being as good as new. I certainly felt better - tired and sore from the travelling, but overall, much improved. But I could not look at any of the men in our group. I felt jumpy when I heard their voices, especially their laughter. I had nightmares of being thrown against the wall again and again, and woke up crying to Glorfindel humming and stroking my hair.

Once I had dream that Isildur forced himself on me.

"It didn't happen, Linyalótë, and I won't ever let it happen," said Glorfindel quietly, rocking me back and forth, as I sobbed into his tunic. "You will never see him again. You are safe from him."

Elrond gave me a tonic to have a dreamless sleep, and it helped, but he said it was addictive so he could only let me have it once a week.

Otherwise I was plagued with dreams about Isildur, and riots.

"Your body is healed, but your fea was affected. You must give yourself time," he told me, kindly. He told me about his time in the Hall of Mandos, and how he had wrestled with the knowledge he had died, and the nightmares he had suffered through. Although he didn't say as much, it was clear that he hated being hailed as a hero, for he killed the Balrog, but his city still fell. And because of his hero status, no one thought he was in pain.

"But you are not plagued by it now? Your death, I mean," I asked, anxiously. He smiled at me, a little sadly.

"I cannot pretend it did not change me, but no, I am not plagued by it," he told me.

In truth, Glorfindel was treating me like I was fragile and liable to break at any point could be a little suffocating. I hated being chaperoned everywhere by Elves, but I was also too scared to go anywhere near the men in our group. I stuck close to Berendine and Elwen, when they were not in the company of Anarion, and otherwise Erestor kept close to me.

"It will be interesting to enter Lady Galadriel's woods in this company, will it not, Minnow?" said Erestor, one evening. I was trying to stretch my legs and he was accompanying me. I really wanted to go to the bathroom, but I did not know how to get rid of him.

"Interesting is one word for it," I said fervently. Who would want to have someone looking through their thoughts? I knew I did not.

"Especially under present circumstances," he continued, looking at me closely.

This made no sense to me, but I was intrigued.

"Indeed," I said.

"You are aware of the situation?" said Erestor, surprised.

"Of course," I lied.

"Yes, they do well not to let it come between them, do they not? But then Elrond is patient and forbearing, and Glorfindel is most proficient at hiding his feelings. And how he has managed to evade Galadriel for five yen! You know, they say she is an adept diplomat but in truth, she always gets her way apart from on this point," he continued.

Valar above, I thought, was Elrond in love with this sorceress, I wondered. And a yen was a hundred years - had this been going on for half a millennium? And she was in love with Glorfindel?! I couldn't believe it. Why hadn't he told me?

I was going to find the heaviest thing I could pick up and throw it at him, I decided. Or pour coffee into his hair while he was sleeping.

"Their friendship is strong," I said, carefully, "But perhaps it would not be the case if their positions were reversed?"

"Ha! You mean to say that Glorfindel is a jealous one? Indeed, I have noticed. You are perhaps right. But I think if Glorfindel had been in love with Galadriel's daughter, they would have been married immediately, and she would not have tipped her cap at Elrond. I have never known any female not to fall at Glor's feet - except you of course. Is it true that you threw his water canteen across a river? I did not believe it when he told me. I cannot see Celebrian ever confronting him on any subject at any time. It would get in the way of gazing at him adoringly."

"Yes, it's true," I said, dazed. "I also threw it into a tree."

"No elleth would dare do that to him. Ah, well, we will be in Lothlorien in less than a week!" carried on Erestor. "I have not seen a Mallorn since I left Numenor…"

He continued to talk about the tree for some time, and more foreboding filled my heart as I silently listened to him.

I'm back! What do you think? Again, another intense chapter as per my wont. Let me know what you think about what happened. Poor Minnow, she's really been put through the wringer. I love all your comments so much - and pestering me does make me write quicker, so feel free!

And I will post the Glorfindel one shots this week - there's going to be four, and it will be conversations between him and Elrond - with a few other characters thrown in for good measure.

Please drop me a line and comment - I do love them!