CHAPTER 3: FLUBS AND SNUBS

"Gordo! Gordo!" Lizzie called across the courtyard.

Gordo heard his "name" and looked to see who was calling it. There was Lizzie, sitting on a bench in the late afternoon sunshine. She looked beautiful in a baby blue sweater and blue jeans. Her hair was practically shining. Gordo walked over to her, smiling.

"Hi," he said. "What are you doing here so late? Did you miss the bus?"

"Oh, no," she said. "I'm waiting for…for Brett, my math tutor. We're gonna go over a few things."

"On a Friday night?" Gordo questioned.

Lizzie didn't say anything; she just looked down at her books.

Once again, something didn't feel right to Gordo. He thought he knew what it was. So he decided to plow ahead.

"Hey!" he said suddenly, sitting down next to her.

"Hey, what?" she asked, looking up, but not exactly at him. Her eyes seemed to be scanning the distance.

"Remember how you, me and Miranda used to always get together on Friday night to watch videos?" Gordo reminded.

"Sure!" Lizzie said. "Of course I remember! Good times!"

"Well, it's been a while since we've done that. Whattaya say after your math lesson you meet me at my house, I'll wrangle up Miranda, and we'll come up with something good to watch. And some popcorn."

"I…uh…" Lizzie replied. Once again, she was clearly distracted by something in the distance, but Gordo didn't quite pick up on it. Once again, his brain was short-circuiting.

"And if you like," he went on magnanimously, "you can bring this Brett along with you. It'll be fun to meet him."

"Oh, Gordo!" Lizzie said. "That sounds so nice! Really! But I—I—"

"'But nothing," he said boldly. "And by the way, Lizzie, I really hate to keep asking this, but please…please stop calling me Gordo."

Now Lizzie looked at him. "Oh! Am I still doing that? I'm sorry. All right. I'll try. I'll try to stop…Dave." Then, "Ugh. That just doesn't sound right."

"But it's who I am now," Gordo insisted. "At least who I'm trying to become."

"But what's wrong with 'Gordo'?"

"Gordo's this dweeb from middle school who thinks he knows it all."

"But Gor-! But…you do know it all," Lizzie insisted. "At least you know a whole lot."

"No, I don't," Gordo said. "I know some stuff, school stuff mostly, but I'm pretty shaky on the really important stuff." He took a deep breath, deciding to go for it. "For instance," he began, "there's a problem I need a little help with. Do you think you could help me out?"

"Of course!" Lizzie said.

"Okay then," Gordo said, plunging in. "Let's say…let's say there's this…girl I like—"

"Oh!" Lizzie brightened. "There's a girl you like?"

Gordo sighed. Maybe he was going to have to hit her on the head with a brick. "Yeah," he said. "This girl I like…and I've liked her a really, really long time…"

"Oooh! Oooh!" Lizzie exclaimed, but she was not responding to him. She was responding to a cute boy walking across the courtyard.

Again with the cute boys! Gordo thought. This was really getting out of hand.

But then things got worse. The cute boy, blonde and tan, standing at least six feet tall, was walking in their direction. Suddenly he waved and smiled.

"Lizzie!" he yelled.

Gordo felt the bottom fall out. This could not possibly be Brett. Where were the pimples, the pocket protector? And why was he so damn tall? This couldn't be happening.

But it was happening, and he was almost able to feel Lizzie getting all goosepimply beside him as she stood up and bounced a little, singing, "Hi, Brett!"

Brett reached Lizzie, and to Gordo's great relief he did not kiss her or hug her, but an intense and obvious eyelock left no doubt in Gordo's mind that even if this was Lizzie's math tutor, he was also a lot more.

"Hi," Brett said, his eyes smiling into Lizzie's.

"Hi," she repeated, smiling back.

"Hi," he said again.

It was getting ridiculous.

Gordo wanted to be anywhere…anywhere but here. He shifted his backpack, wondering if there was any way he could inconspicuously sneak away. He was sure Lizzie would never miss him.

But suddenly Brett said, "So who's your friend?"

"Ooh!" Lizzie exclaimed. "Brett! This is my friend! This is one of my oldest friends in the whole world, Gor-Gor-David Gordon. Sorry. And Gor-and Dave," she said with difficulty, "this is Brett. Brett Billingsly." She almost sang his name, then added, "He's my math tutor."

Brett snickered for a moment before he gave Gordo a casual nod. "Hey, Gor-Gor."

"It's DAVE," Gordo returned, looking him firmly in the eye while also striving to appear equally casual, though in reality he was about to explode with jealousy. Also, at this distance, he couldn't help noticing some blonde chest hair peeking out from the collar of Brett's IZOD shirt. This was just getting worse and worse…and it was about to get even worse.

"So…Lizzie's friend…" Brett observed with a lopsided grin.

"Yeah…"

"The one that always used to hang out with her and Miranda…"

Gordo nodded. He felt small and stupid sitting there while Lizzie and Brett were standing. He thought about standing up also, but seeing Brett up close now he guessed his estimate of six feet was not too far off. Standing next to Brett wouldn't make anything better, and it might just make things worse.

"So," Brett said suddenly to Gordo. "I hear you're pretty smart." It sounded like he was issuing a challenge.

"Oh!" Lizzie exclaimed. "Gordo is like a genius! And he's so creative. You know the morning announcements—"

"Gordo?" Brett laughed.

Lizzie gasped. "Just a nickname. He doesn't use it anymore. I mean Dave—"

"So how's it hangin'…Dave?" Brett said, using a phrase Gordo absolutely detested.

Gritting his teeth and pulling himself together, Gordo answered, somewhat testily, "It's hangin'…Brett. How's it hangin' for you?"

Lizzie gave Gordo a funny look. It had been many weeks since they had even talked, but she knew him well enough to sense the negative vibes pouring out of him. This was horrible! Her best friend and her new boyfriend at odds, only minutes after meeting! She had to do something to fix this! And quick!

"So, anyway!" she moved on. "Big night tonight, huh? The new Heath Ledger movie."

Brett looked at Gordo and said, "The chicks really dig Heath Ledger, don't they?"

"Yeah," Gordo agreed. "Chicks."

"So anyway!" Lizzie repeated, now directing her words more towards Gordo. "A bunch of us are going out to see it tonight, up at the mall. Probably hang out afterwards. You should come, Gor-Dave. Please come!"

Lizzie's only thought was that if the two men she most adored in the world did not seem to like each other, the only possible explanation could be that they simply did not know each other. This outing would give them a chance to become friends.

The last thing Gordo wanted to do was spend an evening watching Lizzie and Brett make goo-goo eyes at each other-or worse! But Brett was giving him a look that dared him to accept the invitation.

"Oh, come on!" Lizzie encouraged. "Miranda will be there She just broke up with Jimmy. You can be her date."

"Sure," Brett said. "Lizzie and I would love to have you hang out with us."

Gordo was torn, knowing this evening could too easily end in heartache and torment. Yet he was unable to resist the challenge. Brett dared Gordo to intrude upon his time with Lizzie, and as if that wasn't bad enough, Gordo realized he was challenging himself to not be intimidated by this good-looking doofus.

"Well," Gordo said, forcing a smile. "I haven't seen Miranda for a while. Sure. Sounds like fun."