Xander Quest

by Throwaway1971

All credit goes to the OG author Judge Mental on SB

301. The End (of the Eighth Year) Has Come! 9

You put money on the man for a reason.

"It was five bucks, Alex," Briar says.

"The point stands."

As much as you respect Elder Terok, you're not sure if he ever earned a Heart Container himself. Not a lot of people in Hyrule do, and most of those (namely, the Heroes) have used them in the most straightforward manner. And while your celestial Goron tutor is well aware of the variant uses to which the Goddess-given relics can be put, thanks to his contact with you, he doesn't have that first-person point of view on what the moment of choice feels like.

...actually, you don't think you ever described that feeling to any of the priests. It's kind of a personal moment, and Heart Containers haven't been so abundant as to make it start feeling normal and mundane.

All of that aside, Isshin would probably appreciate a second opinion on the matter.

Heading down the stairs once more, you reflect with some amusement that you're starting to get a real workout from going up and down the arena "tower" over and over like this.

You reach the sand-filled floor just as Elder Terok hobbles forward to begin the presentation ceremony, and make your way over to the Kurosakis as the golden light coalesces into the crystalline curvature of the relic.

"Pretty," the twins murmur in unison, as the Heart Container slowly descends to their father's hands.

"It is at that," Isshin agrees. "So... uh... what am I supposed to do with it, exactly?"

You and Elder Terok proceed to fill Isshin in on his options. The priest explains the mythical reputation and factual origins of Heart Containers, as well as their conventional use to strengthen one's physical vitality and overall life-force. In turn, you describe the two main variant uses you've discovered, and how to distinguish between them with the Heart Container in your hands. You're also careful to make it clear that this is a choice which can only be made once, while the relic is still in its nascent state; whatever Isshin decides to do with it now, he will have to live with the results.

Isshin considers the Container, and describes three distinct impressions he gets from it: one of warmth, energy, and comfort; another that feels like pure spiritual energy, untainted by expressions of individuality; and a third that feels... sharp.

The first one is definitely the standard option for increasing physical health and endurance, and you are certain that choosing the second would make this into a Heart of Spirit, like your own prize, which you have yet to absorb.

Isshin asks what that felt like, and you admit you haven't actually assimilated the Heart yet, for reasons of wanting to study the process. You do have the Heart of Fire to compare it to, however, and you do so, explaining how that "Elemental Heart" boosted your aptitude for Fire Elementalism, your resistance to heat and flame, and your overall Fire Affinity, as well as the secondary effects relating to Earth Elementalism - a consequence of you having won that Heart Container from your original battle with Searfang, which was a creature of living stone as well as lava.

You're not sure of the Heart(s) of Spirit will have secondary traits like that, or if it will more directly enhance Isshin's soul.

As for his third option, you're honestly not sure what to make of it. You describe the various "third options" you've had the chance to choose, most of which involved being able to summon an echo of the creature you claimed the Heart Container from in the first place, although you add that it's not limited to such. After all, your most recent Heart could have granted you the ability to create a Ring of Trials yourself, instead of the elemental enhancement you decided to select.

Your explanation leaves the two youngest Kurosakis visibly confused, and even Ichigo is frowning as he tries to make sense of it, but Isshin and Masaki both listen very intently.

When you've said all you can, Isshin thanks you, and spends a moment staring deep into the center of his prize.

"I think it's clear that there's only one thing I can possibly do with this," he says gravely.

Then he turns to face his wife, drops to one knee, and holds the Heart Container up to her, bowing his head.

"My lady, my love, my Masaki - for you."
Awww...
"Awww," Briar and every other female fairy in the audience croon in unison.
You're all a bunch of softies.
Wonder of wonders, Masaki actually blushes. You're not sure if it's the gesture, the audience response, or both.

Ichigo looks offended, and glares in your direction, while gesturing frantically at his father. "Is he allowed to do that?"
Absolutely!
"I'm... not actually sure," you admit, as you turn to Elder Terok. "Is he, Eld-" You stop short and do a double-take when you realize the old Goron is chuckling. "Elder Terok? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, boy. Let an old Goron enjoy seeing a couple of kids in love, will you?"

...you don't think you'd classify either of the Kurosakis as "kids," even leaving aside Isshin's uncertain age as a Shinigami. Then again, Gorons can live a pretty long time, and the priest IS a celestial on top of that, so depending on how long he's held his current form...

"And to answer the first question," Terok continues, eyeing Ichigo with amusement, "yes, brat, he IS allowed to do that. You did hear the part where I mentioned Heart Containers are symbols of love, right? What better use for such a symbol, earned through struggle and self-sacrifice, than to give it up to one you love?"

"I was hoping I'd heard that wrong," Ichigo groans.

Having held off on responding to Isshin's gift when Ichigo protested, Masaki now spares her firstborn an amused smile and a sympathetic hair-ruffle. Then she accepts the Heart Container from her husband.

She doesn't absorb it, however, reminding you of "what we talked about last night," and stating that she doesn't want to stress things until they can get a couple of expert opinions on how the Heart Container is likely to affect her.
Under different circumstances, I might take that as a slight against our skills. But...
Given what you saw of the state of Isshin and Masaki's souls, and the spiritual bindings that connect the entire Kurosaki Family, this strikes you as ENTIRELY sensible.
...yeah, I really can't blame the lady for wanting to be cautious.
Masaki also asks - a bit sheepishly - if there's a way to shrink the Heart Container to a more manageable size, or otherwise store it until they're ready to use it.
Heh. I got this one.
No sooner has she said this than the Heart Container pulses red, and then shrinks down from a double-armful of glowing crystal to about the size of a large marble.

That's convenient.

"Mama, can I hold it?" Karin asks.

"But I want to hold it!" Yuzu protests.

"I asked first!"

"Now, girls," Masaki begins, her voice pitched to that not-quite scolding tone of a Mom Enforcing Good Behavior. "There's no need to fight."

"Uh, Alex," Sokka suddenly calls down from his seat, "what's your dog doing?"

Huh?

You look where the Water Tribe boy is pointing, and see Moblin sniffing around at the Triforce emblem in the center of the arena.

The once-again GLOWING emblem.

"No, wait, Moblin, no!"

Hearing your voice, Moblin raises his head and looks at you, his doggy expression puzzled - and also slightly see-through, as the magic of the Ring of Trials stirs to life.
...I did not plan for this.
And then Moblin disappears.
We should have made rules against animals taking the trials. Can he even qualify for these?

...
I guess these trials just became an experiment?
There is a moment of silence, and then the audience erupts with a collective cry of, "WHAT!?"

Ambrose, on the other hand, starts laughing.
Let's try this, if he runs we count it as a surrender.
The arena once again fills with a dome of Illusion Magic, recreating the images of what is happening in another location - and in the process, engulfing you, Briar, the Kurosaki Family, and Elder Terok. It's in no way painful or injurious, but it's still quite surprising to be swept up in the display, not the least because everything around you LOOKS real, and yet you can move through it without a hint of resistance.

And then a large golden spider appears, and Karin and Yuzu shriek in shock and alarm.

SPIDER OF THE CURSE: GOLD SKULLTULA

---

Instead of returning to your usual vantage point at the top of the Ring, you stand at the end of the bottom row of seats, just shy of the stairs that lead down into the arena proper, and watch as your pet dog slowly makes his way through the Trials.

The Gold Skulltula isn't a real physical threat, but you recall from your reading that the demonic spiders can cast a dreadful transformative curse on those that disturb them. The terms of the curse weren't mentioned in the Holy Books, just that it was known to have turned one family into half-human, half-spider monstrosities, during the era of the ill-fated Hero of Time.

You keep that particular tidbit to yourself, not wanting to needlessly upset anyone.

"The dog can TALK, now?" Sokka exclaims.

The Trials are doing a fair job of that already.

As you explain how the Spell to Speak With Animals works, Moblin manages to talk his way out of getting cursed by the Gold Skulltula, and proceeds to a more conventional Trial against a Deku Baba.

"Alex," your mother says slowly, while eyeing the carnivorous plant, "why is it that all of these carnivorous plants look like bigger versions of the one you have in your room?"

"Snappy IS a Deku Baba," you admit. "But don't worry, Mom."

There are a few worried cries when Moblin gets his tail bit, and more when the Deku Baba breaks loose of its stem and starts chasing him around, but when Moblin ends up running victory laps with a Deku Stick in his mouth and a happily wagging tail, people can't help but laugh.

"Oooh, look at all the kitties!" Yuzu exclaims in delight, as the Third Trial gets underway.

A moment later...

"No, bad kitties! Leave the doggie- BAD DOGGIE! Don't bite the kitty!"

"Go, Moblin!" Briar shouts. "Tear those evil fuzzballs apart!"

"Miss Briar!?"

Despite his mauling at the claws of the clowder, Moblin advances once more.

"That is one big evil cactus," Cordelia observes. "Did I get a runt, or what?"

You assure her and Isshin that the Leevers they fought are fairly representative of the usual size and toughness of the species. You also note that they fought their respective Leevers one or two rounds earlier than this, so the usual scaling of the Trials applies.

Moblin handles the Leever with minimal bumps and bruises, and then deals with the Tektite in good order-

"Even the DOG goes for the eyes, now!?"

You're starting to worry that Cecilia is going to get a complex about eyes before the Trials are over. Maybe Beryl should take her for a walk or something?

-but his bout with the Bokoblin has you starting to worry about just how much more your pet can take. Yes, he's a big dog, but you never trained him to fight, and he's never displayed a particularly aggressive nature, unless socks were involved.

Then he somehow befriends the goblin warrior, enough to get it to trade collars with him.

...

You're still bemused by this victory through friendship when Moblin enters a battle with his wicked namesake. If you'd been sitting down, this one would have had you on the edge of your seat, because you know all the stone-flinging, spear-wielding forest goblin needs to end the fight is one clean hit. Even when Moblin tricks the brute into burying itself with a landslide, your worries don't end, because you know that if your dog wins this round, he'll have two more, even more dangerous Trials left.

And sure enough, though Moblin manages to pull off an ode to the Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote, the Eighth Trial has him facing one of those scythe-wielding Poes.

...which he can apparently see, even when it's supposed to be invisible.

"Hey!" Kurosaki Karin protests. "That's not fair! Daddy couldn't see it at all!"

"It's fine, Karin," her father assures her. "A lot of animals can see things that humans can't."

"...really?"

"Really."

The fight starts to look like it's turning against Moblin, as he takes a glancing blow from the Poe's scythe, but then, in the middle of a leaping attack turned clear miss, Moblin somehow manages to snag his shiny new collar on the Poe. The silver skull ornament reacts poorly to the touch of the spirit's ectoplasmic form, and before the ghost can wrench itself free, Moblin starts thrashing around wildly trying to escape - only to drag the wailing spirit along for the ride, until it finally breaks free and lies on the ground, momentarily stunned.

And then Moblin rips out its soul.

Every ghost in the audience flinches.

At long last, Moblin faces his Final Trial - and then is nearly taken out by the Wolfos with one hit. It's only the presence of the Poe's Soul, and its uncanny resemblance to a bouncing ball, that give your clearly outmatched dog an opening to spend his remaining strength.

He does so to the greatest possible effect, nipping the Wolfos's tail.

"Wait, what!?" Sokka exclaims, as the lupine monster bursts into blue flame. "He bites it ONCE, and it dies!? How is that remotely fair?"

"Actually, Sokka," you cut in, as you gather mana, "that really will kill a Wolfos."

The Water Tribe boy stares at you for a moment. "You're serious."

You nod. "As fast and as strong as they are, it's hard to do, but if you can cut off a Wolfos's tail, it's destroyed."

"What kind of a silly weakness is that!?"

You could answer that, but you're a little more concerned with getting back down into the Ring and checking on your dog. Physically, Moblin is no more hurt than anyone else who's taken the Trials today, but emotionally...

Actually, Moblin seems relieved to be out of the Trials. The sight of you approaching has his ears perking up and his tail wagging happily, and he greets you with a bark - slightly muffled due to the presence of the Poe's Soul clenched between his teeth, like some kind of supernatural squeaky ball. He's also still wearing that Bokoblin's skull-collar.

"How are you, boy?" you ask, completing the Spell to Speak With Animals. You want to make SURE Moblin is feeling okay, and that merits a clearer method of communication than headpats and scratches - not that you're going to deny him those.

"Alex!" your dog greets you. "Look! I got a ball! And it squeaks! It's a good ball!"

...yeah, he seems fine.

"Well, now," Elder Terok rumbles as he joins the two of you. "I've seen plenty of animals accompany their masters into the Trials, but I do believe this is the first time an animal has gone in ALONE, much less won."
It is.
"I think that merits something special all on its own... but first!"

The Goron raises his hands, invokes the Goddesses, and calls forth a Heart Container.

Moblin watches the shiny thing as it descends, backing up slightly as it comes close to his head. The relic stops about a foot above the sand and hovers there, turning slowly around its vertical axis with a faint sound akin to tiny wind chimes. Moblin inspects it, sniffing, and whuffs in surprise and puzzlement.

"What do you smell, boy?" you ask.

"Me!" Moblin replies. "But also a me that smells like the old dogs at the park! And also a me that smells like the Bad Dog, except not a Bad Dog!" He whines and looks up at you. "How can there be three mes?"

You rub Moblin between the ears to reassure him, while you consider what he told you.

The presence of his own scent is almost certainly the essence of a standard Heart Container, which adds nothing new to the one who claims it as such, merely builds on what's already there. The "Bad Dog" Moblin is referring to would have to be that Wolfos, meaning that scent is the... "Essence?" The one that always gives you the option to summon what you defeated, anyway. Process of elimination makes the remaining scent the Elemental Heart, which Moblin's description and your knowledge of Hyrulean magical theory suggests is a Heart of Time.

Seeing as how Moblin has the same amount of magical potential as any other dog - which is to say, somewhere between "slim" and "none" - and exactly zero training in the mystical arts, you are pretty sure that the second and third variations for this Heart Container are going to end up doing something OTHER than giving him the ability to cast spells. Nayru would never be that reckless with one of her major domains, and you can't see her supporting a plan that would turn something as dangerous as a Wolfos loose, with only the good nature of a dog to rein it in. Some kind of permanent enhancement seems more likely.

Would you like to try and encourage Moblin to take one form of the Heart, over the other two?

---

Your mother doesn't appear convinced by your words.

Fortunately, they're only the first half of your argument.

"And Briar will have him trained not to bite anyone who doesn't deserve it by then," you add. "Won't you, Briar?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure; train Snappy not to bite people. Sure. No problem. Now hush, I'm trying to watch Moblin!"

...your partner's words do not have a particularly positive impact on your mother's mood. Mostly, she just raises an eyebrow at you.

Sighing, you say, "I'LL make sure he won't bite anyone who doesn't deserve it by then."

That gets you a nod of approval.

While the damage has probably already been done, you go ahead and cast the Spell of the Message anyway, sending a few quiet words to Beryl to suggest that she take her sister for a walk to cool down - somewhere that cyclopean monsters aren't getting their eyes mauled.

Beryl doesn't respond to you directly, instead lowering her head to say something to her sister.

Hushed words pass back and forth for a moment, before both sisters rise from their seats and make for the stairs, Beryl with one arm around Cecilia's shoulders.

As they pass you on their way out of the Ring of Trials, the redheaded sorceress spares a quick glance your way and nods wordlessly.

You consider all three options, and how difficult it would be for you to reproduce their effects.

The Heart Container would require some work. Duplicating the increased physical resilience and vitality the relic offers would be relatively easy, requiring a Belt of Mighty Constitution - albeit one of some potency. Recreating the manner in which your first Heart Container augmented your ki skills would be more problematic, but seeing as how Moblin hasn't been trained to use ki, it wouldn't really be a loss.

The difficulty of replicating the effects of the Heart of the Wolfos would depend on just what that item actually does. Your best guess is a boost to Moblin's overall physical abilities, giving up the focused power of the basic Heart Container in exchange for greater versatility. Increased strength, speed, agility, stamina, and senses, maybe a minor enhancement to his teeth, so he could bite things that would normally be resistant to non-magical attacks - that sort of thing.

All of that is well within your ability to duplicate.

That leaves the Heart of Time. You suspect that this version of the Heart Container will end up extending Moblin's lifespan, which is something you can't actually do right now. You know spells that let you work around the physical symptoms of old age, whether by buffering the body as is or outright transforming it into a younger state, but nothing that addresses the underlying cause of age or increases one's maximum potential age. Such magic is less helping people to live longer than it is keeping them from dying sooner.

You've occasionally considered performing the druidic ritual to turn Moblin into your animal companion, but that wouldn't really change his overall lifespan. He'd be fitter and healthier, to be sure, and would live a bit longer because of it, but he'd still be a dog, and he'd still pass away at the natural end of a fit and healthy dog's life.

Making Moblin into a familiar wouldn't do the job, either; most of the benefits a mundane animal receives in that role are mental in nature, or involve acting as a channel for the master's magic. And since Briar is ALREADY your familiar, you'd be slotting Moblin into the role of a lesser familiar, greatly reducing the benefits he'd gain from the ritual. You only have so much spare energy to go around, and the mystical significance of being your only (and first) familiar would be lost entirely.

Scratching Moblin behind the ears again, you explain to him that the "shiny thing" is his reward for being a Good Boy and beating the Bad Dog and all the other animals and monsters. The three different smells are a way of letting him know what he'll smell like after getting his prize, so he has to pick the one he wants most - or dislikes the least.

"It's your choice, boy, but of the three, I kind of like the Old Dog smell," you conclude.

Moblin scrunches his nose as he considers that.

"I don't want to smell like the Bad Dog, even if it isn't a Bag Dog smell," he huffs in relief. "I don't know if I want to smell like an Old Dog, either... but if it's okay with Alex, then maybe I could live with it."

This less-than-concrete decision seems to be good enough for the Goddesses. The Heart Container glows more brightly and transforms into motes of energy, which are absorbed into Moblin's body.

Moblin gained Heart of the Old Dog

You watch the process intently, but aside from the fading glow of temporal magic and divine energy, Moblin doesn't seem any different.

"Sparkly!" he barks, before sniffing himself. "Hey, I still smell the same! This is good!"

"MOBLIN!"

*WHUMPH!*
We're definitely giving him a ball as Reward Number Two, right?
"Not good! Not good!" your dog yelps as he's tackle-hugged by Zelda. "Help, Alex! Zelda's got me! And I lost my ball! Quick, catch it before it rolls away!"
Yeah, I don't really have the heart to take it away from him.
You don't think the Poe's Soul would have gotten very far on the sand, and that's before it bumps up against one of Elder Terok's feet and comes to a stop. The Goron squats down with a creaking and groaning of old stony joints, snatches up the spectral sphere with his right hand, and raises it to eye level.
Would you care to do the honors, Lady Amaterasu?
"Hmmm... a ball, is it?" Terok muses, chuckling. "Well, I've heard of stranger uses for Poe's Souls, and he IS due a second prize, just for the sheer novelty of that whole misadventure." He raises the orb and its cold-burning flame. "What do you think, ladies?"
Bark!
You're taken aback when, instead of a flare of golden light, white light whirls around the Poe's Soul, condenses, and vanishes in a flash and a burst of cherry blossoms.
Nice brushwork.
That... wasn't one of the Golden Goddesses.
Bark!
What other deities are watching this? Mars you expected, given the presence of the Memorian contingent, but the cherry blossoms suggest a kami...

In the wake of lightshow and unusual special effects, the Poe's Soul is revealed to have been transformed into a sphere of clear, colorless material that reflects the sun's light so naturally, you could almost take it for glass or crystal - at least until Elder Terok gives it an experimental squeeze, and the sphere briefly deforms like plastic or rubber, before bouncing back into its previous perfect shape.

Aside from the glassy sparkle, what makes the ball interesting is the faint purple glow at its core, where you can just make out the tiny, legless figure of a more traditionally-shaped Poe, waving its lantern in protest.
...what did the Poe do to offend you, anyway?
Aside from the presence of the pint-sized specter, there's nothing to suggest that the ball is anything other than a novelty pet toy. Its aura is suppressed enough that none of your passive senses can pick it up, and when you briefly "ping" it with your active senses, all you pick up are the Poe's necromantic energies - greatly muted by something - and a rapidly-fading aura of unfamiliar divine power.
Bark! Grrr...
While you're poking at the ball mystically, Elder Terok tosses it towards Moblin-
Oh, I see. Well, that makes sense.
"Ball!"
Alex will probably appreciate that, when he figures it out.
*BITE*
Wuff.
-who half-reaches, half-lunges over Zelda's shoulder to catch his new toy out of the air.

"My ball," he growls happily.

The Poe, you note, is now flailing around in a panic.

Moblin gained Haunted Ball

...

...okay.

Leaving the implications aside for the moment, the... Haunted Ball?... represents Moblin's second prize. You ask Terok if he's going to receive a third, just for the sake of symmetry and all, and after a quick, silent spiritual consult, the Goron priest replies that the "third prize" will simply be the Bokoblin's Collar.

Moblin gained Bokoblin's Collar

It was given in the spirit of friendship, after all, which is something the Goddesses like to encourage among the ranks of Hyrule's monsters. They don't often get a chance to, which makes it all the important to do so when one does come around.

---

While you are rather tempted to chalk the explosion of cherry blossoms up to divine ineffability, sheer curiosity has you looking to your Japanese guests for possible explanations.

You almost ask Lady Takara, who as the oldest and most powerful of your Earth-side invitees - and possibly in general; you're not sure how Navi compares in terms of age and ability, and there's Kahine to consider as well - but then you remember that the woman spent most of the last half-millennium suffering from serious emotional trauma and mental illness. Talking about the kami is likely to be more than a bit awkward and uncomfortable for her.

Instead, you turn to Akkiko, who is, after all, PROFESSIONALLY involved with her homeland's spiritual and religious beliefs.

"Mrs. Arisawa," you ask with some formality, "would you happen to have any idea which kami was responsible for... that?" You gesture upwards, where the last of the flower petals is just now fading back into the ether.
Bark!
Akkiko stares at the epicenter of the divine intercession in silence for a long moment, her expression blank.
Whuff?
Then, with almost mechanical stiffness, the woman rises from her seat and makes her way down into the arena, taking out her jug of booze and four clay saucers along the way. Once she's reached the sandy floor, she pours a generous helping of sake into each of the bowls in turn, which she sets down with a hint of ritual solemnity.
Oh, hey! Thanks!
And then Akkiko raises her jug in a wordless toast, puts to her mouth, and takes a long drink.
Bark!
The level of alcohol in the four bowls, you note, starts diminishing - some faster than others.
This is pretty good stuff!
You wait until Akkiko has lowered her jug before trying again. "Uh, Akkiko?"

"...not enough booze on the whole island for this," she mutters sourly, before meeting your gaze. "To answer your question, boyo, yeah, I do know which kami that was. But I get the impression she's trying to go incognito, so I'm naming no names."
Bark!
"At least not until the party's over," Akkiko adds quickly.
Whuff.
Well, alright then. As long as you get an answer, you don't mind waiting for a bit.

You take in Akkiko's demeanor, glance at the restored glow of the Triforce, and then ask her if she'd like to take a shot at the Trials herself.

"You know, since you're already down here and all."

Akkiko considers that for a moment before shoving the cork back in her jar and stowing it in whichever magical pocket she keeps it when she's not getting sloshed.

"You know what? Sure. I haven't had a chance to really cut loose in ages, and I could use the chance to blow off some steam." She pauses, and with a faint grin, adds, "Plus, I can't let that dope Isshin get away with being the only unexpectedly awesome parent around."

Fair enough.

Akkiko's Trials fly by in a flurry of violence both physical and magical. The first few rounds are a distinct echo of Tatsuki's Trials, pitting Akkiko against a Moblin, a Lizalfos, and then a Goron. She tears through the first two with a display of strength that makes it clear she can access at least some of the Arisawa oni heritage, even while looking entirely human, and then takes an ADULT Goron (if not a particularly big one) five falls out of nine - much to HIS surprise.

The Goddesses throw that Scaldera monster at Akkiko next, but instead of going for the Bomb Flowers growing at the top of the ramp, she casts what you figure to be a Spell to Resist Fire, and goes to town on the Pyroclastic Fiend more directly.

Her next enemy is a massive centipede-like monster, with two huge goggling eyes - not one, but two! - hanging on the end of short stalks.

GIANT SKITTERING ARTHROPOD: MOLDORM

The Moldorm's armored body proves highly resistant to Akkiko's blows, if not outright impervious, and its gnashing, venom-dripping mandibles remind you unpleasantly of the Geldarm that mauled and defeated Katara, but the real threat it poses is due to its size - easily half that of the Mother Gohma, you think, if not more - and the alarming turn of speed it's able to reach in spite of that bulk or the countless legs lining its flanks. Getting run down by that bug would be like getting hit by a municipal bus, or even a tractor-trailer.

For added aggravation, the "floor" of its lair is actually a large platform, suspended in mid-air inside a great tower of some kind - and there's a hole near the center of it besides.

Akkiko gets knocked off the side of the platform twice, and is dumped down the central shaft once for good measure. She survives the ten- or fifteen-foot falls in reasonably good condition, but the Moldorm uses the time it takes her to pick herself up and climb the stairs back to its level to enter a semi-dormant state that appears to rapidly heal its injuries.

This understandably annoys Akkiko, and draws the battle out longer than it needed to be.

The unmistakeably amused chittering sound that the monster makes each time it pushes her over the edge is just adding insult to injury.

Akkiko finishes that particular fight by casting an Ice Elemental equivalent to the Spell of Grease on the stone floor, just as the Moldorm has built up speed and come at her in a serious charge. Akkiko clearly finds the resultant wild scrabble of limbs, bug-eyed shock, and panicked hissing as the monster skids towards and over the edge DEEPLY satisfying, and the following *CRACK* of a few thousand pounds of chitin shattering on the stone floor below only adds to her air of vengeful glee.
I am SO glad we don't have to clean that up.
In response to this, the Goddesses drop Akkiko into a vast, dark chamber which is almost entirely full of water. When a minute goes by without a monster making its presence known, Akkiko casts a Spell of Water Breathing - or something equivalent to it - and dives deep into the subterranean pool.

Gained Swimming E (Plus) (Plus) (Plus)

When she catches sight of the single transparent, rubbery tentacle that rises from a hole in the center of the sand-covered floor, waving back and forth as if in a current, Akkiko pauses, growing visibly uncomfortable for the first time.

Then more of the beast pushes its way out of the silt, another seven tentacles joining the first in a ring around a great circular maw that extrudes, wormlike, from an even larger snapping jaw.

TWILIT AQUATIC: MORPHEEL

This fight goes somewhat poorly for Akkiko. For starters, her enemy is buried under what must be a solid foot of debris, which would buffer it against her attacks even in open air; in its actual environment, water resistance saps the strength from any sort of sweeping attack. This does include the swirling lengths of the jelly-like tentacles, which periodically reach out as if to grasp Akkiko - guided by ANOTHER giant eyeball, which for bonus ick factor is somehow moving along the INSIDES of the tentacles - but it doesn't do much to slow down the FREAKING EXPLODING FISH that Morpheel periodically spits out in batches.

Akkiko has some real trouble with those. She's a strong swimmer, but these things are at home in the water in a way no land-dweller could ever be, even with the benefits of magic; worse, the shockwaves of their kamikaze attacks, which are about as strong as Bombs, are conveyed through the water in an extremely disorienting manner.

Oni blood or no, the first time the priestess gets caught on the fringes of one of those blasts is nearly her last. If the rest of the "Bombfish" in that little school hadn't been set off by their eager companion's self-destruction, Akkiko could well have been blown to bits.

As it is, she floats in place for a terribly long moment, stunned and immobilized and quite likely aching right down to her bones from the near-miss.

With a visible effort, Akkiko pulls herself together and calls on her magic again, summoning one of her little glowing orb familiars - the blue one, to be specific, which flits around in the water with a grace and speed that puts those round-headed fish to shame. She then turns the obvious Water Elemental loose to handle the Bombfish, while she focuses on their "parent" - specifically, its moving eye.

Trying to get close proves to be extremely risky, as the monster's maw snaps out and tries to engulf Akkiko whole, an attack she just barely evades. She DOES land a flailing hit on the eye as it slides past her-

*SHHHHLUCK*

-which drags the dark, staring orb right out of the jellified material of the tentacle and leaves it floating helplessly in the water. The nearest undamaged tentacles immediately reach for it, but Akkiko gets there first, and borrows a page from Kahlua's book; instead of smacking the orb, she grasps it between both hands and starts to squeeze, while putting as much distance between her and the nest of grasping limbs behind her as possible.

The eye deforms slightly-

!

-and then the rest of the beast ROARS in protest at her mistreatment of its disembodied organ, and begins to drag its buried body out of the silt. Akkiko subsequently loses her grip on the basketball-sized eye as she struggles to get clear of the currents and sand kicked up by Morpheel's emergence.

A tentacle whips out, grabs the eye, and reabsorbs it.

Morpheel's revealed form suits its name, a gigantic serpentine body covered in thick, armored scales. It has two short, broad fins near the front, but the lionfish's share of its propulsion clearly comes from its huge tail, which whips through the water, overcoming resistance by sheer brute force. A row of thick spines line each of the monster's flanks, complementing the sharp-looking fins along its back and belly.

The eye, incidentally, passes into the beast's body and ends up affixed to the "top" of its head, just behind that great gaping maw. It swirls around for a moment, armored eyelid blinking over the bloodshot orb as it stares this way and that, before catching sight of Akkiko.

Morpheel GLARES hatefully at the woman, and roars again as it charges.

The fight doesn't last much longer. Akkiko just isn't suited to underwater combat, and Morpheel, like the Moldorm before it, proves unfairly fast for something so large. It swims past her once, ruining a spell by catching her in its powerful wake, and when Akkiko - aided by her familiar spirit - manages to swim far enough to one side to avoid being caught that way a second time, Morpheel's tail lashes out to swat her.

She's still recovering from that hit when the monster circles around, maw wide-

Tatsuki lets out a wordless cry.

*GULP*

-and that is that.

When Akkiko reappears in the circle a moment later, she is slightly pale and wide-eyed. She inspects her body with her hands for a moment, as if making sure everything is still there, and then lets out a shaky breath and looks to the sunny sky.

"Was that a hint to lay off the seafood for a while?"
Arf?
"MOM!"

*WHOOMPH!*

Having gotten knocked out in the sixth of nine rounds, Akkiko's reward from the Goddesses is a single, golden-hued magatama. It has a faint aura of Spirit and Light, but nothing that you'd call an active blessing or enchantment, just some potential as a magical reagent.

Akkiko doesn't seem terribly put out by that, which you suspect has at least something to do with the unforced and very public hug she got from her normally standoffish daughter - an embrace that hasn't entirely ended, Akkiko keeping one arm around Tatsuki's shoulders, and Tatsuki honestly not appearing to mind.

---

You decide to respect the warm and fuzzy moment, and keep your mouth shut as the Arisawas leave the arena floor.

The unsettling nature of Akkiko's defeat seems to have once again sapped some of the enthusiasm among those members of the audience who have yet to take the Trials. One of the Hayashi quadruplets - Hina, she of the once-short hair grown out to impress a boy - ends up volunteering to go next, but she only faces three Trials, which leaves her quick, Hidden Leaf Style victories over a Moblin and a Goriya feeling somewhat underwhelming.

Her Final Trial, which takes the form of a impromptu comedy war against a Keaton, manages to liven things up a bit. A somewhat stiff-necked male Zora appears alongside the three-tailed Hyrulean fox, introduces himself as Raluto, "A neutral party called forth to act as judge," and explains that the pair will be given one hour and all the materials of their choice to outfit a series of interconnected rooms as a "Gauntlet of Gags." Everything from physical pranks to written or vocal jokes is permitted, with the caveats that nothing can be harmful or inappropriate for the younger members of the audience.
This ought to lighten the mood.
You see Hina and her opponent, Aki, shake hands and offer each other best wishes through toothy smiles, before the view within the arena then skips ahead to the actual contest.
...oh Us. They're both HORRIBLE.
Hina, it turns out, has a groan-worthy sense of humor, leaning heavily towards puns and gross humor.
Bwahahaha!
Aki is just as bad, which leads you to suspect the Goddesses picked her out specifically for this particular challenge.
Nayru, what were you THINKING?
Raluto turns out to have the same terrible taste as both competitors, and no self-control whatsoever. A bucket of slime falling on someone has him in stitches, the Battle of Puns leaves him rolling on the floor laughing his scales off, and when he accidentally wheels himself into a pit trap, they have to pause the Trial to fish him out.
Bwahahaha!
Madam Lanora covers her face with her finned hands, moaning about the shame to her people.
I am so, SO sorry.
A similar reaction can be seen among most of the members of the Hayashi Clan, although the youngest sisters and old Uncle are all making sounds of delighted disgust, and you catch one or two grins on other faces, carefully hidden from the thoroughly disapproving gaze of their matron.
Bwahahaha!
With the referee effectively disabled, Hina and Aki agree to finish off the Trial with a more "combative" approach - namely, by throwing cream pies, exploding sacks of slime, and other similarly messy projectiles at each other until someone gives up or is unable to continue.
I think you've managed to kill our sister with comedy, Nayru. Well done.
While continuing to pun.

Hina pulls off a victory with a particular terrible joke and a well-timed volley of horrible-tasting slime, which Aki ends up gagging on.
Seeing it happen in reality was even WORSE than the precog.
For her triumph, the Goddesses drop a book on Hina's head.

Literally.

Rubbing her head, the young kitsune picks up her prize, reads the cover, and leafs through a few pages. Her initial frown turns to a scowl.

"Oh, come on," she protests to the sky. "That was comedy gold!"
Two out of three Golden Goddesses beg to differ.
It's a perfectly clear day, and yet, you hear a rumble of thunder in the distance.

"Everybody's a critic," Hina grumbles.

After her older sister's questionably humorous triumph, Emiko volunteers for the next set of Trials, asking for six rounds, and also making a public promise NOT to fight a battle of jokes.
I'm almost tempted to give her a bye for that.
Her first fight takes place in a thick forest, where a hostile Deku Scrub pops out from its leafy cover just long enough to spit a Deku Nut at her, before diving back into the underbrush.

WICKED DEKU: MAD SCRUB

The plant creature makes excellent use of the terrain to snipe at Emiko from cover, but the fox-girl's natural agility and trained reflexes serve her well in avoiding direct hits from the explosive Deku Nuts - although she IS caught in the dazzling flash of the first one, and only narrowly manages to duck the second as a result.

It's an understandable error, given that Emiko is unfamiliar with the properties of Deku Nuts, and seeing as how she wasn't injured because of it and doesn't make it again, it's also a forgiveable mistake.

A similar issue crops up when Emiko tries to close with the vicious Deku, and it dives deeper into the tangled undergrowth, which almost seems to melt out of its way before snapping back into place behind it.

The next time the Mad Scrub appears, Emiko uses her Substitution technique to switch positions with some loose litter just next to it.

The look of astonishment on the little monster's wooden face is rather satisfying, for all that it's short-lived.

In her next two battles, Emiko faces and defeats a Moblin and a Goriya, echoing her older sister's battles. In light of that, and how the Arisawas' battles went, you're fully expecting to see a more aggressive Keaton pop up for Emiko's Fourth Trial.

TERRIBLE PRANKSTER FOX: HAYASHI HINA

"HEY!"

...meh, close enough.

Emiko is visibly startled and even a bit worried to be facing a copy of her older sister, but after the first few exchanges - mercifully free of bad puns or traps - you see a sudden increase in your foxy friend's confidence, as she matches and steadily starts to push back her opponent.

"I can totally fight better than that!" Hina protests.

She probably can, at that, but her duplicate seems to be limited to the abilities she used in her own Trials. Those skills aren't bad, by any means, but as the girl says, they're not the full extent of her abilities - and more importantly, they're nothing Emiko can't keep up with. Copy-Hina has an edge in most physical parameters, due to being a few years older, but the difference isn't so great as to be insurmountable, or even to require a critical expenditure of effort on Emiko's part to match.

After a couple of hits, the Terrible Prankster Fox starts supplementing its use of Hidden Leaf Style with "comedic" gags and various pre-prepared traps.

Emiko blinks when the first banana cream pie comes out, but her swift reactions tell you she has a lot of experience dealing with this sort of thing.

You suppose that growing up in a house full of tricksters, most of them older than you, WOULD tend to have that effect on a person.

Emiko finishes that Trial by roundhouse-kicking her "big sister" into one of her own slime-filled pit traps.

The copy doesn't explode or drown, instead raising a sticky hand to wave a matted white flag around in sign of surrender.

"...okay, that's KIND of funny," Hina grudgingly admits. "But I would SO beat the shrimp if we sparred for real."

Emiko is next sent to a dungeon - not inside one of the cells, thankfully, just at the end of the hall leading to them. There are enough torches to keep the area well-lit, and that illumination reveals a prison of surprising cleanliness for its quasi-medieval trappings: every stone appears recently scrubbed; there's not a spot of rust to be seen on any of the bars or empty manacles; and there's not a creeping rat or spiderweb to be seen.

At the far end of the hall, as if guarding the last cell, stands a Hylian soldier in heavy armor, which includes a horned and crested helmet. He looks fairly strong, if not to the point of being abnormally large, and his only obvious weapon is a large spiked ball on the end of a long chain. The ball *THUNKS* heavily as he detaches it from his belt and lets the business end fall to the floor, while grasping the long chain partway down with his right hand, and holding the weapon's actual handle in his left.

The warrior starts swinging his weapon around, a low, rising moan filling the air as the weighted chain whips around faster and faster.

ENCHANTED ROYAL GUARD: BALL AND CHAIN TROOPER

This opponent gives Emiko some problems. His weapon covers a very large area in the relatively cramped jail room, and does so quickly enough, at just the right - or wrong - height and angles that attacking through it without getting hit in turn is difficult. Moreover, the Trooper has sufficient control over his chain mace to widen or tighten its orbit with almost no warning, turn that ongoing spin into a whip-fast, bone-crushing strike, or fling and twist the excess length of chain around to trip and tangle.

That last technique is arguably the most dangerous to Emiko. She has the speed, reflexes, and situational awareness to dodge the brutal but comparatively slow attacks, but if she gets caught in the chain...

Defensively, the Trooper's armor is heavy enough to absorb Emiko's leaf-shuriken without issue - that is, when the flail doesn't smash them out of the air mid-flight, or he neglects to raise his shield - and while there is an opening for Emiko to close in and use her claws whenever he tries to attack her directly, the young kitsune can only scratch that much steel, not cleave through it.

Emiko tries to go for the eyes, but the soldier raises his shield to catch the blow, and then shoves her away hard, while simultaneously whipping the chain across to try and snag her.

As a further hazard, the dungeon doesn't appear to benefit from the sort of damage-resistance spells all those boss chambers had layered over them. Some of the iron ball's missed strikes leave small craters in the stone wall and floor, scattering bits of shrapnel and making movement that much more difficult.

Once it's clear that she can't really hurt the Trooper physically, Emiko breaks out the foxfire. This works, but she has to keep the pale flame focused on her target for several seconds to allow the heat to penetrate his armor, and the Trooper does his best to batter her down in that time.

He fails, but he definitely leaves some bruises.

Finally, Emiko advances to her Sixth and Final Trial.

DIVISION CHALLENGER: ALEXANDER HARRIS

She lets out an excited yip, before slapping one hand over her mouth, blushing at the outburst.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" the Announcer calls. "For our Final Round, I give you, Hayashi Emiko and Alexander Harris!"

...are the Goddesses teasing her with this?
Maybe a little.
Because considering how much of a martial arts fangirl as Emiko is, the idea of facing you in the Finals of the World Tournament must be pretty tempting.

The way Emiko's blush only intensifies seems to support that theory.

"Fighters ready? BEEEEGIIIINNNN!"

You are pleased to see that your younger, weaker counterpart does not merely rehash his previous bout with Ayane, despite the similarities in her fighting style and Emiko's. Emiko's claws and youkai strength, however modest it may be in kitsune compared to some species, make her that extra bit more dangerous hand-to-hand, and so rather than wreathe himself in a protective electrical aura and then waste it by flinging a Power Ball, Past Alex casts that spell, adds what you recognize as a Spell of Augmentation to boost his abilities, and then follows that up with the Spell to Enlarge A Person.

He does all of this while dodging a continuous barrage of razor-edged leaves and blasts of foxfire, which Emiko launches from multiple angles, using clones of herself to up the threat. The speed at which Past Alex is moving shows that he slipped a Ki Enhancement in there at some point, which is enough to keep him ahead of most of the attacks, and he employs a Body Flicker or two to stay clear of the flames.

He doesn't use that technique as much as he COULD, however, perhaps because he's trying to conserve for what you know comes next, or perhaps because he misjudges the threat of Emiko's leafy weaponry. Either way, he gets winged a couple of times.

He doesn't lose any of his spells, however, and once the last one is cast, the now giant-sized Past Alex adopts a familiar stance, focuses his energy-

"HAAAA!"

-and explodes into golden light.

From there, he begins rampaging all around the Tournament arena, much as he did against Ayane in her Final Trial, ignoring the ring-out condition to chase Emiko into the stands. One powerful, high-speed punch catches the fox-girl by surprise-

!

-only for Emiko to vanish with a puff of smoke and a single fallen leaf. The girl reappears across the arena from Past Alex, makes a gesture, and is joined by a bunch of clones. All six Emikos then vanish in simultaneous Substitutions, scattering themselves around the arena and daring Past Alex to come after any one of them - thus leaving himself open to the rest. Depending on how "real" those copies are, they might well be able to burn him down, Maximum Power or no.

Past Alex considers this, and then charges up a Power Ball, which to your personal astonishment, scales UP to match his current nine-foot-plus height. This means that, instead of an orb of crackling golden power roughly the size of a basketball, Past Alex is holding a vaguely spherical mass of energy that's more in the "beachball" range.

Past Alex dashes to his right, putting two of the Emikos more or less along a line ahead of him, and lets his scaled-up attack fly. It proves to have lost none of the speed of its smaller form. Indeed, having been thrown by a giant-sized, Maximum Powered version of you, the Power Ball travels considerably FASTER than usual.

The first Emiko is halfway into a leaping evasion before she realizes just how quick the attack is, and you see her momentarily panic before it engulfs her.

The second Emiko is just as surprised, and further shaken by the disappearance of her counterpart; she manages to get out of the immediate path of the Power Ball, but is caught by one of the arcs of power that trail out from it and goes down with a cry, golden energy snapping and snarling across her body.

Either that's the real Emiko, or her clones are unusually hardy - or she's using a very good Illusion.

Due to the shape of the arena and the angle the Power Ball was thrown at, its arc starts to carry it lower, blazing over and through a row of chairs before it finally impacts the floor, unleashing its vaguely electrical energy in a manner more akin to a pocket Fireball than the usual one-person paralyzing burst.

Gained Knowledge of Power D

"Look at that destruction! Oh, I'm so glad I'm not accountable for these damages!" the Announcer crows.

Past Alex, meanwhile, went for the disabled Emiko as soon as she failed to turn into smoke and leaves. The four remaining clones open fire, but they're a bit too spread out to achieve the kind of concentrated fire that hemmed your doppelganger in down in the sparring ring. They're also firing a little wildly, most likely shaken by the effects of the oversized Power Ball.

Past Alex leaves most of the attacks in his dust, only having to duck a single tongue of foxfire before he's closed to striking range of the apparently real Emiko. His right hand shoots forward in an open palm strike, the blow visibly measured to avoid doing real harm-

!

-and then "Emiko" explodes, not into smoke and leaves, but into a cloud of foxfire.

Past Alex staggers back with a yell, eyes snapped shut and head turned away by defensive reflex, left hand clutching his right around the wrist, as the exposed, seared palm trails smoke.

In that moment of shock, the EmiClones focus their attacks, foregoing a barrage of cutting leaves in favor of a caging crossfire of blue flame.

Even in his current state, Past Alex retains the presence of mind to dodge three of those shots.

It's the fourth shot, coming from the Emiko who flickers into position almost directly BENEATH him, that catches him - and that one is less of a "shot" than it is another explosion of foxfire.

The golden aura of Maximum Power absorbs some of the blast, and magic- and ki-augmented size and toughness provide an extra buffer, but this is a version of you who hadn't yet learned Power Armor, or even Ki Armor.

Past Alex goes down in a heap, seared and singed and with most of his clothes on fire, plus a little blue flame in his hair for bonus points. Falling on the chairs does him no favors; their cushions only cover so much of the frames.

The remaining EmiClones hold their fire, as the Announcer begins a ten-count.

He's reached six when Past Alex raises a hand and groans, "Yield."

"What was that?" the Announcer calls from down near the ring. "I'm sorry, I couldn't quite make it out."

Past Alex coughs, and raises his voice. "I said, 'I yield.' Also, ow, get over here already, will you, Past Briar?"

Emiko seems a little surprised, and in stereo besides.

"THE WINNER!" the Announcer proclaims. "Let's hear it for EMIKO!"

---

You join the Hayashis in heading down into the arena proper to congratulate Emiko on her win. Not all the members of the fox clan leave their seats - the two elders sit tight, as do the eldest sister and two of the quads - but the rest are numerous enough, and energetic enough, to make for a minor stampede.

"Eeeemmmmiiii," Hina growls in playful warning. Two pairs of arms promptly grab her. "Let me go, you traitors!"

"'No picking on family members for beating up illusions of other family members,'" Mina replies calmly, sounding very much like she's quoting someone or something.

"What she said," Shinta agrees, before turning to the youngest of his teenaged sisters and smiling. "Good job, little sis."

"Emi won! Emi won!" the twins chorus in delight. "Emi beat up Hina!"

"Grrr!"

"That's my girl!" Asamu chortles.

"Are you okay!? Does anything hurt!?" Natsu wails as she fusses frantically over her third-youngest child. "All this violence, where did I go wrong!?"

"Moooom," Emiko groans. Her family's antics have her blushing again, but for once, it's not in mortal embarrassment.

With that in mind, you wrestle down the impulse to express your congratulations by giving your older friend and erstwhile fan a hug. Not only would she probably melt down on the spot - which is easily the source of half your temptation, admittedly - but her various sisters would never let it go.

It's a very close thing, but your resolve not to make life more difficult for Emiko wins out over your more puckish impulses.

Just barely, but a win is a win.

With that in mind, you verbally praise Emiko for pulling off a Six Trial winning streak, and taking down your past self in the process.

"Thank you, Alex!" she replies brightly, blush intensifying. "And, uh, I'm sorry about, you know, setting you on fire. Even though it wasn't REALLY you. And also about holding back when we sparred yesterday, but I thought the Foxfire Clones would have been a BIT much for a friendly match, you had the Trials today, and I really, REALLY didn't want to set you on fire anyway, and I'm babbling, whyyyy-!?"

...this is not doing your self-control any favors.

It's just as well that Elder Terok comes forward when he does, to present Emiko with a baby fox - one that has fur in the same shade of brown that is dominant among the Hayashi family. You're close enough to pick up a faint spiritual aura, which hints that this is no more an ordinary fox than a Keese or an Ache is a mundane bat, though it's definitely not a demon-spawn or naturalized monster.

The female members of the clan take one look at the little fluffball and collectively, "Awww..."

"Oh, good," Asamu sighs. "Another mouth to feed."

Natsu reaches up and swats her husband's ears.

The reminder that the Ring hands out cute pets if you do well enough revitalizes some interest in the younger crowd, but several more bouts pass without a successful win.

Hayashi Mina leans too heavily on her fox magic, and ends up losing a sorcerous duel with a Wizzrobe in her Fifth Trial.

Hayashi Nina pushes through to her Sixth and Final Trial, only to get stonewalled - or should that be steel-walled? - by the Ironknuckle she faces there.

Hayashi Rina, Shinta, and Shinju all pass on taking a turn in the Ring, while Mio and Miu raise a fuss about fairness and the safety features built into the Trials, and end up going in together. They show signs of working together very well, but their age limits their abilities too much for them to keep pace with the difficulty spike for taking the Trials as a pair, and they get knocked out by another Keaton in their fourth round.

The mood of the littlest foxes is not improved when Moka, Kokoa, and Amelia Reinhardt sweep their own Six Trial Challenges, back-to-back-to-back. Moka gets a black-furred puppy that Briar identifies as a Hylian Retriever; Amelia receives another baby bat, this one coming from the all-black, red-eyed species known simply as "Bad Bats," though that name goes carefully unmentioned; and Kokoa, after a private consultation between Navi and the Goddesses, and another hushed chat between Navi, Gyokuro, and Issa, ends up with that fairy partner she's been not-so-secretly hoping for pretty much ever since she met Briar.

Briar is rather pleased with this arrangement, since it means she'll be able to visit at least ONE of her siblings in the future, without a major magical undertaking being necessary.

The name of Kokoa's new fairy partner is Thistle, and she glows red.

All of this has the Kurosaki twins trying to convince their parents to let THEM face the Trials as well, but Masaki and Isshin put their feet down on the matter, pointing out what happened to the Hayashi twins.

"But we beat 'em yesterday!" Yuzu protests.

"It was a tie!" Mio objects. "A tie!"

"But Karin beat your sister, so biiii!" Yuzu says, sticking out her tongue.

"Yuzu, stop that!"

So, yeah. No more twins in the Trials. At least not today.

That pretty much does it for the under-twenty crowd. It also does in Shadow Alex, who tapped as much of Bali Ha'i's ambient energy as the two of you felt it was polite to take, and over nine-tenths of his remaining reserves besides. He didn't drain himself all the way to zero because his physical form started to waver as his magic level declined, and that made it progressively more difficult for him to channel what was left. Past a certain point, he simply couldn't draw any more power without disrupting the matrix that defines his own existence, and that kind of sudden power surge isn't what the Ring needs to function. It'd be more likely to damage something than act as fuel.

Since Shadow Alex has reached his limit, the two of you trade places at the top of the arena.

Below you, Lu-sensei steps onto the sands...

---

As your teacher enters the arena, you call down an offer to cast a Spell of Age Resistance on him.

Lu-sensei considers that for a moment, seeming honestly tempted, only to shake his head; he thanks you for the offer, but after seeing how the Trials operate, he'd prefer to go in free of anything that might tilt the odds against him.

He also asks for the full nine Trials, and does a few stretches and a single slow kata while you're charging up the Ring.

Your martial arts master's First Trial takes place in a cave. It's a single room, very roughly rectangular in shape and something like sixty feet across and thirty feet deep at its widest points, with a ten-foot-high ceiling, though the unworked stone does alter those factors considerably. Two moderately-large fires burn steadily near the center of the room, the man-sized flames and comparative lack of fuel telling you at once they have to be magical in nature.

Between the fires stands an old Hylian. He is not so visibly aged as Sage Elfaron, still retaining much of the height and stature of a younger man, but the bald pate, lined face, long white beard, and somewhat frail-looking ears make it clear he's been around the block a time or two. The elder Hylian wears robes of a plainer style than the Sage, the equivalent of "casual wear" in a society where such clothes are common; he has no staff or walking stick to hand, but a wooden sword similar to Ichigo's new practice blade hangs at his side.

Keen blue eyes regard Lu Tze shrewdly, and then the Hylian states, "It's dangerous to go unarmed."

"So it is," Lu-sensei agrees. "But if it was safety I wanted, I wouldn't be here."

That earns a wry smile. "True enough."

Then the Hylian draws his sword, and raises it in salute.

RETIRED HYLIAN KNIGHT: SIR OLDMAN

Lu-sensei replies with a bow, and both men assume their respective opening stances.

The two old warriors stand there in silence for a minute that feels like an eternity, silently measuring one another and making small shifts in their position and posture, some too subtle for you to detect. But when they TRULY move-

"TAKE THIS!"

-it's over in an instant.

Sir Oldman's strike is a thing of beauty, an absolute economy of motion and focus of effort brought together in a swing so fast mundane eyes would see it only as a blur, if even that, and which audibly parts the air around it. If he charged that blow with his ki, as you know the Knights of Hyrule have the skill to do, however roughly, you wouldn't be at all surprised to see it shatter stone - and even if he didn't, it's still the sort of attack that would lay out a grown man or most of Hyrule's weaker monsters with one shot.

Yet as fast as Oldman is, Lu Tze is faster. He steps into the blow, inside the arc of the "blade," catches and traps the hilt and Oldman's hands under his right arm, and with his left delivers an open-palm strike to his opponent's face, sending the retired knight's head sharply to one side and costing him part of his grip on his weapon.

You don't think your teacher was even using Ki Enhancement there. He just... moved.

Gained Reflexes B (Plus) (Plus)
Gained Sword Specialization (Hylian Sword) E
Gained Sword Training A (Plus)
Gained Weapon Defense C (Plus) (Plus) (Plus)

"Damn," Oldman good-naturedly groans, as he rubs his cheek where Lu Tze's strike caught him. "Times like this, I miss having a helmet... though you'd probably have flipped up the visor and poked me in the eyes, then, wouldn't you?"

"Going for the eyes HAS been a popular tactic today," Lu-sensei admits with a grin, as he releases his opponent's blade.

"Good, good; always nice to see the kids remembering the basics." Oldman clears his throat. "Might I know the name of the man who has bested me? My own is Linkon Oldman, Knight of Hyrule, long since retired."

You teacher nods. "Lu Tze, Ranked Master of the School of Five Elements. Still active."

"An honor to meet you, Master Lu Tze."

"Likewise, Sir Oldman."

With that, the Trial ends.

The Second Trial is set in a chamber of similar dimensions as the first, but with walls of worked, green-tinted stone, carved with the eerie symbology of the Underworld that you've seen in a few of the prior challenges. Once again, Lu Tze faces an aged Hylian man standing between two sorcerous flames, but while there are some similarities in dress and appearance, THIS old man is clearly cut from a different cloth as Sir Oldman. He is of a height with the retired knight, but less broad in the shoulders, and his robes are more ornate and formal. Instead of a wooden sword, he holds a staff.

His face is remarkably similar to the knight's, however. It's like they could be brothers.

"Hail, stranger!" the new Hylian elder proclaims in a dramatic voice. "I see that you have bested my brother!"

DRAMATIC HYLIAN SAGE: OLDMAN

...okay, so they actually ARE brothers. Good guess, Alex.

Thank you, Alex. I try.

"But even if you honored Din and Farore by defeating a knight with no weapon but your hands, do not think that mere fisticuffs will suffice against a faithful servant of the Goddesses!" Sage Oldman proclaims. "BEHOLD!"
Oh, boy.
As he raises his staff, the fires beside him roar higher, and the flame-pillar on the right shoots a fireball at Lu-sensei.
Did you HAVE to pick this guy? He's going to give the wrong impression of our servants.
Which your master casually sidesteps.
He and his brother are a package deal, Farore. You know that.
"Well dodged, BUT IT IS NOT SO EASY!"
I know, I know. Still...
Fire shoots from the left pillar, and this time it has some sort of homing function, its path curving to follow Lu-sensei as he moves out of its initial, linear approach.

"Run all you wish, it will do you NO GOOD! HAHAHA-"
Seriously, there had to be another Knight-and-Sage pair, where the Sage DIDN'T talk like a Dark Lord!
Lu-sensei suddenly stops, spins around, and makes another open-handed strike right at the fireball that's on his tail.

Like a candle in the wind, the flame is snuffed out.

Gained Wind Palm E (Plus)

"-HAhuh?" Sage Oldman stares at the empty space where his latest attack had been just a second ago. Then he looks towards the ceiling. "Um... can he do that?"
Evidence says yes, he can.
Lu-sensei gives his opponent an unimpressed look.

Sage Oldman grins weakly. "Uh, in retrospect, I may have OVERSTATED things a tad... SURPRISE ATTACK!"

Fireballs begin spewing from the burning columns at high-speed.

Lu-sensei dodges through the blazing barrage, his speed just superhuman enough for him to advance and evade at the same time. The fireballs try to follow him, but it seems that in going all-out with the sheer number of attacks, Sage Oldman's magic loses a bit on accuracy: some of the flames slam into the floor and go out; others collide in mid-air and are mutually consumed in bright bursts; and a few go spinning off at strange angles, chasing who knows what.

The Sage has enough time to see Lu-sensei closing, and look worried-

!

-and then your master's fist slams into a heretofore unseen barrier.

"HAHAHA!" the Sage cackles. "Had you fooled, didn't I? Flail away all you want; it is USELESS! My barrier CANNOT be broken by mere physical force! If you lack even so much as a Sword Beam, I CANNOT-"

In response to that, Lu-sensei's fist glows.

"-believe what I'm seeing, how are you using a SWORD BEAM with your FIST!?"

That's not actually what your master is doing, but you can see how the Sage might be confused by the similar techniques.

As it happens, your master's Ki Strike DOESN'T shatter Oldman's barrier. But it DOES send a spiderweb of glowing cracks racing along the transparent shell of the field.

The SECOND strike is what shatters the barrier, at least in that area, sending "pieces" of the field falling to the floor like so many panes of shattered glass, even as they melt away into thin air.

The third punch isn't quite enough to put Sage Oldman down; as befits the brother of a knight, he has at least SOME understanding of how to defend himself in close combat, and puts his staff to good use in that endeavor. Still, he's no match for Lu-sensei in that regard, and while the two fire-pillars continue to spew flames your teacher's way, he gives Oldman no time to focus on casting a new spell.

*WHOOSH*
*CRACKLE*

"OUCH! Hot, hot, hot!"

Also, Oldman's proximity to the designated target of his flames leaves him in some danger of getting cooked by his own spell.

Lu-sensei could have ended the Trial with one strike after Oldman's barrier broke, but for the sake of not escalating the next challenge, he holds back.

Plus, you think he might be enjoying the opportunity to give an overconfident magic-user a lesson in hand-to-hand.
It's not like Oldman wasn't asking for it.
Just a little.

Sage Oldman holds out for another forty-seven seconds before your master finally knocks him down.

He all but bounces back to his feet, crying, "FOR THE GODDESSES, I FIGHT ON!"

*WHAM*

Lu-sensei puts him down a little harder.

"I... fight... O-"

*WHAM*

Third time's a charm.

"...de... feated..."

Shaking his head, Lu-sensei advances to the next round.

GUARDIAN OF THE NORTHERN DESERT: MAZURA

Where Akua had some issues dealing with the Desert Guardian because of his unexpected skill and the sheer resilience of his armor, your master displays no such problem. Having already seen the horse-headed warrior in combat accounts for some of it, but the sheer ease with which Lu-sensei maneuvers around and through Mazura's glowing mace-strikes makes it clear that he has the kind of experience the eldest Shuzen girl lacked - quite a lot of it, at that.

Gained Club Training E (Plus) (Plus) (Plus)

Also, where Akua had to perform some complicated acrobatics to get into striking distance of that equine visage, Lu-sensei takes an entirely different approach. He gets in close, at an angle where the mace is less than useful, dodges a couple of empty-handed punches, and then, when Mazura gets frustrated enough to try to kick him, Lu-sensei grabs the leg and pulls.

Grappling is not the focus of the School of Five Elements, but that doesn't mean your master doesn't know how it's done.

Gained Grappling C (Plus) (Plus)

The crash when Mazura hits the floor is considerable.

---

Just tripping Mazura doesn't end the fight, of course, but it does bring his head down far enough for Lu-sensei to land a flurry of blows before the Palace Guardian manages to recover and get back on his feet. As he rises to his full height, you have to wince at the damage visible on the monster's face. Mazura's left eye is surrounded by enough developing bruises to have been forced into a squint, specks of blood fly from his flaring nostrils with every snorted breath, and he spits out broken shards of a very large tooth.

After that, the horse-headed warrior is much more cautious about using moves that might put him off-balance, but he's also angrier - and in a considerable amount of pain. Those feelings make him a little too eager to crush his opponent, and he starts putting more force into his strikes than is truly necessary, which increases his recovery time from each attack and introduces openings in his previously closed guard.

Lu-sensei zips through one of those holes, gets under the champion's arms as they're coming down, grabs on, and pulls.

And Horsehead goes down for a second time, to endure another beating.

This time, Mazura comes up screaming and swinging, to which your master responds by falling back just far enough to be out of range. There he stays, his presence driving Mazura into a frothing fury as he presses the attack, missing again and again and AGAIN, and growing more enraged each time. His wrath lends him power, but robs him of focus, wasting energy at a remarkable rate until, at last, he is panting from the exertion. His attacks grow slower, easier to read, and his recovery from each swing is long enough to be measured in seconds, rather than mere fractions of one.

One last, massive, two-handed blow shakes the floor-

!

-and Lu Tze runs up along the Guardian's armored limbs, to deliver a whirling roundhouse kick that glows with ki.

Mazura's third fall is the loudest yet, and he doesn't recover from it.

The Ring shifts, and Lu-sensei finds himself upon a field of dead earth, bare stone, and dark, eerie structures that are on the verge of sliding into ruin. Dark clouds cover the sky; all about him is silent and still, with not a sign of an opponent.

Then you notice a dull red glow a short distance away, coming from an ornate ring with a great round ruby set into a rune-scribed band of gold. It lies there on the ground as if it simply fell off someone's finger and has been waiting to be picked up.

You have your doubts about that, to put it mildly. Lu-sensei appears to share them, as he makes no move to get closer to the ring, instead raising his guard.

The ring rises slowly into the air, and then a dark and twisted hand bursts from the dead earth, one withered finger slipping through the band. The ruby flares menacingly as dark magic swirls up around it and the body now dragging itself to the surface, a wizened form that owes its substance more to the multi-layered robes that materialize from the black-tinted purple energy than to its own flesh. The garments are as dark as the power that conjured them, yet as finely-made as the ring, with arcane figures seemingly sewn into the material using thread of gold, an array of crystalline adornments that glow with their own power hanging from the edge of the cloak or spinning about the neck on a band of pure magic, and a great pendant, two interlocked rings of gold with a blue-green gem set in the center.

The tattered hems of those elaborate robes hover a full two feet above the ground, revealing no legs at all; on the other end of things, the hood is raised, and all you can see is the glowing red iris of a single enormous eye, studying your teacher.

Then the eye becomes a thick-lipped, smiling mouth full of dirty, irregular teeth and a leathery tongue, as its aura flares.

TWISTED SORCERER: WIZZRO

For the first time in his Trials, your master is pushed to using Body Flickers - or more likely, his own take on the Staggered Flicker - as this Wizzro creature fills the immediate area with a veritable storm of dark magic, crackling spheres and beams that blow small but distinct craters into the withered land around them. Navigating the onslaught, your master closes to strike-

!

-only for Wizzro to disappear into his own shadow, chuckling wickedly, and reappear on the far side of the battlefield, where he renews his ranged assault-

!

-or rather, tries to.

Wizzro's single eye has just enough time to blink as Lu-sensei appears next to him, and then everything devolves into melee.

Like Sage Oldman, Wizzro proves to have some knowledge of how to defend himself at point-blank range.

Unlike Oldman, he's GOOD at it. Not just in technique; the way dark magic flares about his arms and levitating torso, Wizzro's got defensive enchantments worked into that robe and jewelry. Yet while he doesn't hesitate to USE those advantages when they're needed, he's not solely reliant on them; he has a level of skill at unarmed combat that you've never seen in another magic-user before, save for yourself.

Though you don't have claws like he does, and your arms never stretched or bent like that.

Despite his skill and the shock factor of his downright elastic arms, it quickly becomes apparent that Wizzro is not on Lu Tze's level. He takes more hits than he delivers - and even more than he actually LANDS - and while his barriers aren't breaking the way the showy Sage's did, they also don't seem to be completely stopping the force of Lu-sensei's blows from getting through.

...

...so why is his eye smiling again?

A sudden flare of dark magic sends Lu-sensei flickering back out of range, but almost instantly, you realize that it wasn't an attack; nothing burned or was blown away.

Instead, Wizzro's form has changed.

But for a dull, greyish tint to hair, skin, and clothes, he now looks EXACTLY like Lu Tze.

And when the sorcerer-turned-martial arts master flickers onto the offensive, he proves able to FIGHT like him as well.

Lu-sensei's reaction to suddenly fighting himself is rather blase. For a moment, you think it's because he's had the chance to see you and Tatsuki fight copies of yourselves.

Then, almost conversationally, he asks his foe, "Are you at all familiar with the name 'Shang Tsung?'"

In the middle of a complex sequence, Wizzro blinks, clearly puzzled. "Should I be?" he asks, in an eerie voice that is NOT your teacher's.

"Just checking."

Then Lu-sensei's stance shifts, and he launches into an attack you've never seen before. It's still the Five Elements Style - you can see how it builds upon the techniques you've learned in training and used in reality - but it goes beyond anything your master has demonstrated even in the advanced classes, or anything you've seen him use before.

...at least, anything you've been ABLE to see him use.

Six seconds is all Lu Tze needs to complete a series of blows that first stun, then stagger, and finally blow his lookalike backwards. Dark magic flares again as Wizzro reverts to his original appearance in mid-flight, lone eye swirling dizzily in the darkness as he hovers to a shaky halt.

Your master follows in a flash, intent on giving the ring-wielding sorcerer no time to recover-

!

-but Wizzro's defensive enchantments prove their worth, robbing your master's blows of enough force that he is unable to finish his opponent.

Wizzro disappears into shadow again, and when he emerges, it's atop the highest of the stone pillars in the area. From this vantage point, he proceeds to rain down another storm of dark magic, and then, while Lu-sensei is dodging that, starts summoning monsters. At first it's just a couple of those one-eyed magical serpents, but then he brings forth a Wallmaster, which clenches itself into a huge fist and starts "punching" at your teacher with stone-shattering force.

When Lu-sensei sees that, he tries baiting the giant hand-shaped summon into following him on a charge at Wizzro's position.

"Nice try!" Wizzro calls down mockingly, as the Wallmaster unclenches itself and swats at your master when it should have punched.

He avoids the hit, leaps onto the Wallmaster's "back," and then - as the thing flinches in shock - rebounds off of that onto the side of the pillar.

Which he then runs straight up.

"...better try," Wizzro admits, raising both hands above his hood and gathering a large sphere of dark magic between them.

When Lu-sensei clears the top of the stone, Wizzro brings his hands down and fires, the ball becoming a raging beam of destruction.

Your master takes the hit dead center-

!

-and suddenly falls away in a cloud of loose earth and small stones.

Wizzro's eye widens, and he starts to turn around, but Lu-sensei's fist takes him in the back of the head anyway causing the huge eye to bug out in shock and pain.

The force of the blow also shoves him forward, right to the edge of his chosen and very small firing platform. Wizzro hovers there for a moment, struggling furiously with balance, spell, and injury all at once.

Then Lu-sensei reaches out and gives him a push. You can't even call it a hit; it's just a simple pat on the back, the sort of thing one man might give a friend in greeting, or as congratulations for a job well done.

It sends Wizzro right over the edge.

"Oh, you bastaaaa-!"

*WHUMP*

The Twisted One's levitation seems to have a bit of an issue with momentum.

---

While it would be within your abilities to take a quick look around at the audience and see who's reacting to the mention of Shang Tsung's name without losing track of the fight, you don't want to take your attention off the battle in progress.

So you don't.

Taking a long walk off a high platform isn't enough to do Wizzro in; his defensive barriers flare as he hits the ground, softening the crash-landing.

But when Lu-sensei leaps down and lands on top of the hooded specter, once again causing the sorcerer's monstrous eye to bulge in shock and pain, before proceeding to lay the smack down upon him... well.

Wards or no, there's only so much of a beating a squishy wizard type can take.

With is a drawn-out, raspy sigh and a chorus of ghostly wails, Wizzro's robed body first deflates and then disintegrates into dust. All that remains behind is his red ring, no longer glowing.

Lu-sensei regards it dryly. "Thank you, but no. I have read Tolkien."
...who?
The Ring blurs.

For his Fifth Trial, Lu-sensei is sent to a dimly-lit circular chamber, where eight pillars of carved stone form a ring around the center of the chamber, and the massive black body that stands there. Some fifteen feet tall - nearly twice the height of the columns that surround it, and closer to three times your teacher's modest stature - the being appears roughly humanoid, though its form is broader, its arms longer, and its legs and neck shorter than a human's of similar size would be. Its limbs are secured: the arms by heavy manacles about the wrists, which are chained to to ceiling and keep the arms stretched out to the sides; and the legs by similarly massive shackles, the chains of which lead to... handles? Most of the creature's head is covered by a large helm, the front of which was fashioned in such a way as to suggest a menacing, alien face.

A single crystal, cloudy and faintly red in the gloom, sits at the peak of the headpiece. As your master cautiously approaches, that gem flares to life, an orange glow filling it and briefly highlighting an internal flaw that gives the whole thing the appearance of a cat-like eye, before the radiance grows bright enough to drown it out.

In the sockets of the armored mask, two narrow red slits open. The monster gazes down at Lu Tze for a moment, and then roars in rage, exposing a powerful, tusked lower jaw. Howling in fury, it thrashes about, trying to reach your teacher, but the chains restraining its arms hold the monster back.

Glaring at its bonds, the beast leans back and momentarily bows its head, as if gathering its strength.

Then it throws its head back with a roar, as its entire body bursts into flame.

As if energized by this self-immolation, the monster pulls its right arm forward sharply, tearing the chain free of its stone anchor with a shriek. It repeats the process with its other arm, and then - shackles now glowing faintly from the heat, and crystalline "third eye" still shining with that eerie light - it roars at Lu Tze anew.

TWILIT IGNITER: FYRUS

Then it lashes out with its right hand, swinging the chain along with it.

Lu Tze ducks the attack and backpedals out of the monster's immediate reach.

Fyrus lurches after your teacher, the heavy chains making its movements a touch slower and more awkward than they might otherwise be. That doesn't really make up for the extra threat potential they grant it, however, as the whip-like chains move much faster than Fyrus's powerful limbs, to say nothing of how they more than double his effective reach.

Lu Tze spends a minute or so on the defensive, ducking behind the pillars and then circling Fyrus, looking the monster over from all angles to try and identify its weak points, while also cataloging how it moves and fights.

Though it's not as fast as your tutor, the beast's senses are keen, and it turns to follow him - and then, when it realizes it can't keep up with him, Fyrus abruptly lurches in the other direction, swinging one arm up and around to bring the attached chain down on the floor where Lu Tze was about to move next.

In the shadow of one of the pillars, the old man glances briefly at the improvised weapon, which Fyrus is already pulling back for another attempt. Then he steps out of his cover, fist clenched and glowing, and punches as if at empty air.

A Ki Blast rockets across the room to smack Fyrus right in the face - specifically, in the eye-like gem over its forehead.

The beast howls - more in anger than in pain, you think - raises its hands to protect its head, and begins staggering about as if blinded, each heavy footstep shaking the entire chamber.

Lu Tze uses that moment of distraction to run around behind the monster, grab the handle chained to its left leg, and then wait, eyeing Fyrus's unsteady gait intently before, in the middle of one staggering step, he pulls back hard with both hands-

!

-only to blink in surprise as he gets dragged along behind the monster, which apparently weighs even MORE than your master was expecting.

Fyrus recovers from its injury moments later and turns about, peering past the fingers of the great left hand raised protectively before its face as it seeks the source of that tug on its leg. Lu Tze has already moved out of sight, however, and is once again hidden in the shadow of one of the pillars.

Fyrus looks around the room, growling at the lack of an obvious target. Then it hunches forward, as if it's about to go down on all fours-

!

-no, wait, you take that back.

It's rolling itself up into a ball. A huge, heavy, burning ball.

"Briar," you ask, "is that thing some kind of cursed Goron?"

"Not sure," your partner admits, "but it WOULD explain a few things."

Fyrus, meanwhile, has rolled towards one of the pillars that was on the far side of the circle from its position. It didn't have enough room to build up the kind of speed you saw Elder Terok achieve in your downhill race, but that doesn't matter; the sheer size of the thing gives it more than enough momentum to topple the freestanding stone carving, which is reduced to so much rubble as Fyrus rolls right over it. Losing no speed to that pitiful "obstacle," Fyrus makes a turn to its left and begins rolling around the chamber, smashing through the pillars as it goes.

Lu-sensei is more than fast enough not to get hit by that living wrecking ball, but there's not much he can do about the destruction of his hiding places, and the moment he's exposed, Fyrus lets out a roar of triumph, apparently having spotted him despite being tucked into a ball.

More evidence for the cursed Goron theory, anyway. They're able to remain aware of their surroundings when moving like that, too, even though all logic says they SHOULD be blind and dizzy.

In the wake of having "spotted" your master - however that works - Fyrus's aura of flame intensifies. Jets of flame shoot from its body, leaving a large section of the floor BURNING behind it as it rockets towards Lu Tze at unprecedented speed.

Your master blurs out of the way, leaving Fyrus to collide with the wall with an impact whose noise and violence beggar Mazura's previous falls. Not only is there the incredible noise of a massive body slamming into a wall of solid rock at high speed, there's also the literal EXPLOSION as Fyrus's flaming aura detonates like a Fireball, filling half the chamber.

When Lu-sensei reappears, he's patting out a small fire on his left sleeve. He's also close enough to Fyrus's once-more blackened body that, as it sluggishly uncurls from its point of impact, he's in almost the perfect position to introduce that glowing crystal atop its lolling head to his fist for real.

Your master has time to get three hits in before Fyrus's body begins to glow again, at which point he backs off in a blink - thereby avoiding the explosive re-ignition of the beast's flaming aura.

Fyrus demonstrates a few more tricks as the battle progresses, such as spitting up balls of lava, using those rocket booster-like plumes to accelerate its punches and lunges - something that reminds you briefly of Altria's fighting style - and setting off another of those Fireball-like explosions WITHOUT first slamming itself into a wall.

Your master gets a little cooked here and there, but ultimately, the worst he suffers is the loss of ki from having to "remotely punch" Fyrus in its crystalline third eye - which ultimately, obligingly shatters from that deliberately rough handling, causing the monster to thrash around, turn dark, and crumble away into ashen oblivion.

...you feel a bit like there should have been more to that death sequence, for some reason.
Sorry, not sorry.
Eh, whatever. It's probably nothing.
Yeah, we're not putting Darbus through that again without a REALLY pressing reason.
With Fyrus defeated, Lu-sensei proceeds to his Sixth Trial.

THE BLUE KNIGHT: LEVOKNUCKLE

The Goddesses are getting a LOT of mileage out of this guy today, aren't they?
Give us a break.
The Blue Knight proves to be both an advantageous opponent for Lu-sensei, and a problematic one.
It's rare that we get more than one or two people facing Trials like this in a given YEAR, never mind on the same day.
On the one hand, the School of the Five Elements is like most human martial arts, in that it's designed with human (or at least human-like) opponents in mind. And while your style's offensive options are primarily built around striking, there are other moves that can be used against armored opponents with little or no loss of effectiveness. Especially if you've seen the foe in question fight before, while he hasn't seen your style - which is very much the case here.

On the other hand, armor IS still a problem. Particularly heavy steel plate. More concerningly than that is the fact that Levoknuckle is a magical automaton; there's no flesh under all that metal to bruise, no bones to break, and no vulnerable spots like eyes, joints, or pressure-points to target.

Not to mention that you HAVE seen Levoknuckle fight, giving you a special appreciation for just how dangerous he is in close-quarters, particularly to a man with no armor or sword of his own.

*SHING*

...check that. Lu-sensei DOES have a sword, and he just pulled it out of his version of a dimensional pocket.

You've only seen the Jade Dragon out of its sheathe once before, when your master was cleaning it last year. Normally, he leaves the jian hanging up in one of the back rooms at his dojo, in a place of honor that is nonetheless tucked neatly out of sight from his ordinary students and other regular visitors. You'd also been under the impression that, on those occasions when he leaves Sunnydale, Lu Tze leaves the magical sword locked away in the dojo, whose built-in wards hide its distinctive magical signature and keep people from showing up to challenge him for possession of the blade.

You're not sure how to take the discovery that Lu Tze brought the Jade Dragon with him to your birthday.

---

As Lu Tze whips the Jade Dragon through the air in a quick warm-up, green patterns along the steel flashing, you feel a sort of amused resignation.

Glancing at the crowd, you call out, "Did anyone else come loaded for bear, because they thought there was going to be some kind of catastrophe at my birthday?"

Ambrose immediately raises his hand.

So do Navi, most of her oldest kids, the Drakes - Altria at least having the good grace to look sheepish about the admission - and the Shuzens.

You sigh. "Just checking."

Akkiko looks around and says, "I didn't, but I am beginning to think that I SHOULD have..."

Amelia Reinhardt, meanwhile, is frowning. "I wouldn't say we expected problems HERE," she says, exchanging a glance with her mother, "but after what happened at home..."

You wave that off. "No, no, I get that. That's fine. And anyway..."

Levoknuckle politely granted your teacher all the time he needed to complete his opening routine; now that that's done, your master and the knightly automaton exchange armed salutes, and begin their battle.

Where Altria used her training to fight Levoknuckle on his own terms, and Akua relied heavily on her (super)natural advantages as a vampire, Lu Tze takes a third path. As fast as the Blue Knight's floating steed is, your master can move faster still, and he does, dashing out of the path of the crackling Lance Beam at Ki Enhanced speeds and into a flying leap that brings him down just above the level of Levoknuckle's shield, blade leading.

The jian isn't really an anti-armor weapon, but between whatever native powers it possesses, additional ki-based reinforcement by Lu-sensei, and the simple tactic of NOT aiming at the most heavily-protected parts of the Hylian construct's body, it doesn't need to be.

When Lu Tze's strike connects with Levoknuckle's horned helm, there is a sound almost like a ringing bell, which rocks the elite Ironknuckle back in its saddle. For that brief moment, he looks every bit as stunned as a flesh-and-blood warrior would have after being smashed in the head, helmet or no.

It may just be an inherent quirk left by whatever enchanter or spiritual possession created the Blue Knight, because when Levoknuckle reaches the end of the chamber, wheels around, and readies himself for a second charge, he looks completely fine.

The second pass is a virtual mirror image of the first-

!

-right up until Levoknuckle's shield-arm snaps up to intercept your master's strike-

!

-at which point Lu-sensei aborts the swing, kicks out with both feet, and seems to be almost "crouching" against the surface of the shield. Then he kicks off - rocking Levoknuckle slightly - leaping up and over in a tight aerial somersault-

*CLANG*

-which ends with his sword once again ringing out as it smashes the BACK of the Blue Knight's helm.

On the third pass, Lu Tze abandons the leaping attacks and runs in alongside Levoknuckle's steed, ducking an attempt by the Blue Knight to bring the butt of its lance down on his head, and dealing a sidelong slash in exchange.

You're not sure if that attack accomplished anything - certainly, there's no dramatic clash of magical steel-against-magical steel - but you guess it must have, because when Levoknuckle comes thundering towards Lu-sensei for a fourth time, it's holding itself in the saddle differently than before. More than that, it's shifted its grip on the lance, which it now holds ABOVE its shoulder in a perplexing display. You're no knight, but you know that this is NO way to hold a lance you mean on ramming into a person-

"Bloody hell!"

-oh.

You hadn't realized lances could be THROWN.

Judging from Mr. Drake's outburst, they're probably not supposed to be - but no one appears to have told Levoknuckle or his creators that.

Propelled by the Blue Knight's inhuman strength and Goddesses only know what other tricks, the steel lance screams through the air, its crackling corona of imbued energy burning brighter and broader, now that there's no one to control its output.

Lu-sensei Flickers out of the way-

!

-and then the tip of the lance hits one of the pillars, and there is a brief but brilliant flash as the remaining energy of the Lance Beam and the power of the wards built into the room clash with one another.

Blinking away the glare and the tears it brought to your eyes, you see Lu-sensei standing unexpectedly close to his original starting point, wheeling about with a look of surprise and a distinct lack of his usual grace.

Did... did he just get caught by that blast?

*CLANG*

If he did, it wasn't badly enough to leave him entirely off-guard, as he's able to dodge Levoknuckle's follow-up charge and parry the accompanying blow from the Blue Knight's sword.

The phantom horse and its rider go rushing by, making no move to retrieve the fallen lance, which lies at the base of the pillar, wreathed in smoke and with a good quarter of its length glowing cherry-red behind the yellow-hot tip.

On the fifth pass, Lu Tze steps up to a Flicker-assisted attack, disappearing from in front of his foe and emerging behind it, in the middle of another spinning power blow.

And this, finally, is enough to unseat the Blue Knight, who hits the floor with a clatter of armor, and yet turns the uncontrolled fall and tumble into a roll that soon has him back on his feet, sword and shield still in hand.

The next minute or so displays the similarities and differences between the two sword-styles in use. Both are straight blades, and both are being wielded with one hand, yet one incorporates armor and a shield - as extra weapons almost as much as for protection - while the other's defense relies entirely on dodging, deflections, and parries. Levoknuckle's style is meant for a wielder with power and endurance, which his artificial body has in spades; Lu-sensei's form requires grace and speed.

Curiously, for the entirety of that minute, neither combatant uses obvious ki or magic.

Then, at some unspoken signal, they back off.

Keeping his eyes on his opponent, Lu-sensei bows.

Levoknuckle returns the gesture in kind.

THEN the Blue Knight charges up a Sword Beam.

Lu Tze responds by Flickering around behind him, sword coming in low, against the backs of the knees.

Levoknuckle's glowing blade is there in time to intercept the blow.

Lu-sensei's arm shoots upwards at blurring speed, and Levoknuckle's helmet rings again as your master slams the hilt of his sword against it - only to have to Flicker away to avoid a rising slash and a subsequent projectile of glowing force.

And so it goes. Lu-sensei has the edge in pure speed, yet there's only so much force he can put into his blows before he risks damaging his sword or his self from the recoil. Levoknuckle has the endurance, and enough strength to crush your master if he connects, but the closest he's able to come to that is a Spin Attack, which Lu-sensei actually manages to PARRY - though not without being flung backwards five or six feet in the process.

Finally, your teacher seems to reach a decision. He backs off to a distance that Levoknuckle will need a few seconds to cross, assumes a stance that's entirely unfamiliar to you, and then disappears.

The Blue Knight's body suddenly shakes as the clangor of DOZENS of impacts suddenly fills the air, almost like a machinegun or a jackhammer going off - except distinctly NOT.

A moment later, Lu-sensei reappears on the far side of his opponent, visibly winded.

Behind him, Levoknuckle staggers - but keeps his footing.

"Oh, for Heaven's sake," your master sighs. Turning around, he shoots a look of pure annoyance at his foe. "Most opponents would have the decency to at least fall to one knee after that, you know!"

Levoknuckle has no voice with which to respond, but its posture, and the way it points its sword first at Lu Tze and then itself, before shaking its head, makes you think it's saying, "I am not most opponents."

"...fair enough," your master agrees sourly, as he assumes a ready stance. "Shall we go again?"

They shall.

You quickly notice that despite having survived Lu-sensei's technique, Levoknuckle didn't come out of it unscathed. There are deformations scattered all over its armored body, dents rather than outright holes, most of which are concentrated on and around the joints. While hardly crippling, these "injuries" do impede the knight's movements, particularly of its sword-arm, which you're guessing Lu-sensei paid particular attention to during... whatever that was.

Your master soon scores a hit without having to resort to Flicker-assisted speed, and then a second. Each blow is accompanied by a shift in Levoknuckle's posture, and after the third, he breaks off and shakes his head, shifting his grip on its sword and offering the hilt to Lu Tze.

Evidently, the Blue Knight concedes the fight.

"Just like that?" Lu Tze asks.

Sword gestures follow.

"...yes, I suppose it IS just a matter of time at this point." Your teacher nods. "Well, it would terribly ingracious of me to refuse, not to mention strategically unwise. If you're sure?"
...is the old guy just thinking out loud, or does he actually speak Sword?
Levoknuckle nods.
...I don't think that's actually a language, Din...?
"Then I accept. And... thank you, for the match."
A true warrior needs no language to communicate! His blows carry the conviction in his heart!
The helmed head nods again, and the Blue Knight offers a final salute before disappearing along with the rest of its chamber.
Is that why most Links never talk?
Lu Tze's Seventh Trial is another familiar chamber, and another familiar foe, if not as much as Levoknuckle has become by this point.

UNDERWORLD DRAGON: AQUAMENTUS

Although, looking at the dragon, you can't help but notice that it's bigger than the one Altria fought.

Lu-sensei eyes the green-scaled beast, glances at his sword, with its green pattern and oh-so-coincidental name, and then looks up at the ceiling.
Hmmm?
"You're not as clever as you think you are," he says in a mild tone, before turning his attention to Aquamentus. "After all..."

The dragon roars, breathing out a volley of fireballs as it does so. Lu Tze disappears-

!

-and in the next instant, Aquamentus HOWLS in pain as a huge, bloody wound is TORN across its chest.
Whoa, what, wait a minute!
When Lu Tze blurs back into view at the end of his opening strike, the Jade Dragon BURNS with a brilliant emerald light.
Nayru, did you know about this!?
"...there IS a reason for the name," he finishes.
Possibly~.
Aquamentus doesn't last much longer after that. You're still pondering the implications of Lu Tze having a dragon-slaying magic sword - if nothing else, it certainly explains why people would want to challenge him for it! - as the Seventh Trial comes to an abrupt end.
Oooh, just for that...

---

"...I can't really blame anyone for it," you admit.

You do have something of a track record when it comes to unexpected and unsafe occurrences at major gatherings, after all. And on a few smaller outings, besides.

After a moment, you add, "Well, anybody except Ambrose."

Everybody who's known the wizard for longer than the last couple of days - and even a few people who haven't - nods in unison at this statement.

The wizard just smirks, either untroubled by the aspersion against his character, or actively relishing in it.

...knowing him? It's probably the latter.

For his Eighth Trial, your teacher is dropped off in a small, dimly-lit room, which is mostly empty, except for some skeletal remains laying about. Lu Tze eyes those cautiously for a moment before giving them an experimental poke with his sword; when the bones fail to lurch to un-life, your master turns his attention to the circular hole in the floor, which is the only other outstanding feature of the chamber.

About ten feet across, the "hole" is the mouth of an open shaft that extends straight down a good twenty or thirty feet, before opening up into a much larger room on the level below. Much of the floor in that chamber is covered by some sort of green, glowing ooze whose precise nature you don't care to think too closely upon, but in the center, directly underneath the shaft, is a circular platform some thirty feet across. It doesn't look to be made of stone or wood, but even so, that must be an eighty-foot drop.

How is your teacher supposed to get down there without hurting himself?

By way of reply, Lu-sensei sheathes the Jade Dragon, tucks it back into his expanded pocket, and slips into the hole in a motion that's one-part falling, one-part controlled tumble, one-part climbing, and one-part ki manipulation - though you have to admit, you're not sure of the precise technique.

Learning how to fall is one of the first lessons Lu Tze ever taught you, but that was for when someone knocks you over and onto the ground. He went back and built on the topic when you unlocked your ki, yet even then, it was more about handling Ki Enhanced jumps, both in the takeoff and landing phases - and even now, you can only get so much altitude that way.

If there was a specific lesson for How To Drop From High Places Without Going Splat, you must have missed it.

You make a note to talk to your master about that later. You know the Spell of Featherfall, which is designed to be invoked in an instant, but knowing the ki-based counterpart as well wouldn't be a bad thing. Especially if it has other uses.

While you're mentally amending your personal lesson plan, Lu Tze drops down to the bottom of the shaft markedly more slowly than he should have. When he hits the empty air on the other side, he speeds up a bit, but is still not falling as fast as a normal person would. He makes a smooth, easy two-point landing on the platform-

*BOOM*

-and then, with a brief look of surprise, bounces several feet back into the air, as the material of the "platform" flexes and booms beneath him like some enormous drum.

Navi makes a sound of distress and buries her face in her hands.

*BOOM*
*BOOM BOOM BOOM*

...that's not your teacher doing that.

*BOOM*
*BOOM BOOM BOOM*

Lu Tze turns around, to see two enormous, thick-fingered hands floating in mid-air - disembodied as if severed at the wrists - palms pounding against the gigantic drum in a set rhythm: one slow, heavy beat from the right hand; three faster beats from the left; and then repeating, growing a little faster each time.

*BOOM*
*BOOM-BOOM-BOOM*

*BOOM*
*BOOM-BOOM-BOOM*

And above those mighty hands, a dark, misshapen form blurs into being. Skin as dark as midnight writhes over a sleekly muscular form that can only vaguely be called "humanoid," little more than a torso with two arms and a neck attached, as everything below the waist - or rather, above it, as the monster hangs inverted in mid-air - is either invisible, immaterial, or blends into the pure darkness so totally that it might as well not exist. Matching the state of the hands, both arms end in stumps, exposed patches of raw, red flesh surrounding the central bones, the skin around them looking as though it was... peeled back. The spine is only slightly less exposed, ebon flesh pulled taut across the cartilaginous segments as they run along the back and up - or down - the neck.

*BOOM*
*BOOMBOOMBOOM*

*BOOM*
*BOOMBOOMBOOM*

There is no head. The neck - which, if this thing were human, would be bending BACKWARDS at an impossible angle - just opens up like some sort of unholy flower, half a dozen "petals" and a few writhing tendrils wreathing an enormous, unblinking red eye.

It stares at your master, an unseen mouth crooning a strange, otherworldly chant that makes your flesh crawl.

PHANTOM SHADOW BEAST: BONGO BONGO

Then the shadows crawl along the monster's form, until everything but the hands has vanished - whether merely invisible or wholly de-materialized, you cannot say.
Are we entirely sure that this is a fair Trial?
And the hands come for your master.
It IS the Eighth Round, Wise Girl.
Lu Tze doesn't even make a pretense of attacking this thing unarmed; the Jade Dragon is out, unsheathed, and swinging in an instant.
Yes, but the boy's teacher isn't a spiritualist. Throwing him against a phantom this powerful seems a bit... rigged.
The left hand recoils, the bloodless wounds on its fingers and palm clear for all to see - as is the manner in which they are rapidly closing up.
He's got a magic sword, and he's supposed to be a master martial artist.
The other hand SLAMS the top of the drum, bouncing your master up and backwards from the reverberating recoil.
If he really earned that rank, he's got the skills to handle himself.
Lu Tze recovers his footing and leaps forward, pressing the attack on the damaged hand, which soon has taken enough hits to render it limp in mid-air. Despite that, it continues to hang there, dark skin and red flesh knitting with speed.
Granted, it won't be EASY, but isn't that the point?
Frowning at the visible warning of the deadline he is up against, your master turns and attacks Bongo Bongo's right hand, which goes on the defensive, pulling back and moving around in ways that would be flatly impossible if it were still connected to its proper arm. Lu Tze ends up burning a Body Flicker to get on TOP of the hand, hacking away at the tendons in the brief second of shock before the whole thing lurches upward, attempting to throw him off and into the glowing lake of noxious liquid.

*BOOM*

Instead, your teacher blurs back to the drum and takes a few moments to visit additional harm to the still-disabled hand, keeping it "down" a little longer.

*BA-BOOM*

The functional hand slaps down, fingers spread out to cover as much area as possible, and follows that up by bringing the digits back together in a swift grabbing motion.

It misses, and the Jade Dragon is a blur of movement as Lu-sensei retaliates.

Quickly enough, your master has put both hands out of action-

!

-and then, with an eerie wail, something unseen SLAMS into him with such force that he goes flying right over the rim of the drum-

!

-only to come down feet-first, light shoes not quite breaking the surface of the unnatural "water" even as they and the rest of your teacher's body go skidding backwards. As soon as he's bled off the momentum, Lu Tze rushes back towards the drum, leaping to clear the five-foot height to which its bone-and-skull encrusted sides rise from the mire.

*BOOM*
*BA-BA-BOOM*

His landing is greeted by a two-handed staccato beat from the hands. They still bear the marks of the Jade Dragon's keen edge, but they have recovered enough to regain their mobility, and the lingering wounds are continuing to heal.

Lu Tze's expression is flat as he addresses the hands: "You're going to be one of the ANNOYING ones, aren't you?"

---

Once more, Lu Tze sets to work on disabling Bongo Bongo's massive hands.

The monster responds to this by raising its hands high into the air, well out of striking or jumping distance, and waving them tauntingly as they hang above your teacher's head.

Your master is visibly unimpressed. "If that's the way it's going to be," he says mildly, as he raises the Jade Dragon, "then so be it."

Lu Tze makes a cut at empty air-

*SHING*

-and Bongo Bongo wails in pain as its right hand is cut from over forty feet away, the edge of the Jade Dragon simply ignoring the intervening space as it bites into the spectral flesh. For an instant, both hands hang there in shock, but Lu Tze's continued space-warping assault on the right hand drives the left to strike back.

*BOOM*

It does so by coming down as a clenched fist. Lu-sensei avoids that blow easily enough, but between dodging and dealing with the vibrating "floor," he's forced to break off his attack for a moment.

The wounded right hand swoops down and across the top of the drum, making a wide grabbing motion.

*BOOM*
*BOOM-BOOM*
*BA-BOOM*
*BOOM-BA-BOOM*

Bongo Bongo chases Lu-sensei back and forth across the drum, slapping and snatching at him, and at one point-

*SMACK*

-bringing both hands together as if clapping.

Your teacher avoids it all, and leaves more and more bloodless wounds on the Phantom Beast as he goes, until at last, one hand is damaged enough to once again go limp. With the pressure on him suddenly halved, Lu-sensei is able to greatly step up his offense, and soon both of Bongo Bongo's hands are disabled.

Then your teacher does something odd: he closes his eyes, bows his head, and stands perfectly still.

In the seats below, Isshin whistles softly. "Gutsy move."

Bongo Bongo's damaged hands shudder and clench into fists, pulling back a short distance across the drum and then surging forwards together, a seemingly empty space in between them.

Your master EXPLODES into motion, leaping forward and drawing the Jade Dragon up in a broad arc through that space as he goes-

*BOOM-BA-BOOM-BOOM*

-only for Bongo Bongo's main body to fall out of the "empty" air, suddenly visible as it crashes down on the drum with a wail of pain, its enormous glowing eye open and exposed. Its disconnected hands lie to either side, one of them hanging half-off the edge of the drum, both immobilized.

Already right in what passes for the monster's face, Lu Tze does not hold back.

You're not sure if it's less disturbing that Bongo Bongo's eye doesn't bleed, weep fluid, or deflate when stabbed, or MORE.

Either way, while your teacher lands a blurring series of blows, it's not enough to kill the nightmarish beast. Bongo Bongo forces its visibly-shaking hands up from where they landed and cups them over its vulnerable visual organ; Lu Tze has to fall back to avoid getting swept up by the hands-

!

-and then it's only a well-timed Flicker that keeps him from getting batted right off the drum as the hands suddenly swoop forward and to the sides, fingers splaying wide as the "guard" turns into an attack.

Behind them, Bongo Bongo's body fades into shadow and is lost to mundane sight once more.

*BOOM*
*BOOMBOOMBOOM*

*BOOM*
*BOOMBOOMBOOM*

Having experienced the danger your master poses, Bongo Bongo begins beating on the drum nigh-constantly, trying to deny Lu-sensei a stable footing from which to strike at it.

Your teacher jumps atop the left hand-

!

-which immediately rotates 180 degrees clockwise, generating enough force to throw Lu Tze off, in spite of any variations on the Ki Step technique he might have been using to try and anchor himself in place. This also tosses your master straight at the right hand, which tilts in the opposite direction to catch him, fingers curled with tense anticipation of the crushing grip they're about to administer.

Lu Tze comes in sword-point first, of course, but even with the pain and injury, Bongo Bongo closes its hand-

!

-and then reopens it with a tremor of shock and anger, as your teacher is replaced by a man-sized mass of that glowing slime.

Channeling his ki to standing atop the toxic waters without breaking the surface tension, Lu Tze moves towards the drum-

!

-and has to scramble aside as Bongo Bongo "reaches" over the side of the enormous, eerie musical instrument to begin attacking him where he stands.

*SMACK*
*SPLASH*
*SLOSH*

Whatever effect it might have on a living body, contact with the green liquid does Bongo Bongo's undead flesh no harm that you can see, not even to the freshly-stabbed right hand. Punching, chopping, slapping, scooping up handfuls of liquid and throwing it around, and even finger-poking, the hands strive fiercely to corner Lu Tze. For the first time in this fight, you see your master wholly on the evasive; there's too much of that foul fluid flying around for him to chance getting hit by splitting his efforts between attack and defense, and from your own experience with Body Flickers, you know that a lack of a solid footing can seriously compromise the stability and usefulness of the technique.

Of course, you're still just a student, however talented; Lu Tze is a Master. It takes him a few moments to figure out how to properly shape his ki to make that weird slime "solid" enough to pass for the purposes of Body Flickering, but he does it all the same, at which point he vanishes from sight and reappears back on the drum-

*BOOM*

-having circled wide of the area where Bongo Bongo was splashing around.

The enormous hands whirl about and clench into furious fists, slime squirting violently from between the thick fingers.

Then they open up, cup together, and scoop the largest amount of slime yet from the pool.

"Of course," Lu Tze sighs, before he has to Flicker out of the way of the impromptu deluge.

The good news is, the surface of the drum doesn't dissolve when the slime is poured all over it. In fact, the liquid doesn't appear to so much as stain whatever huge animal's skin was pulled across the instrument; it just sort of pools there, spreading out sluggishly in all directions.

The bad news is that when Bongo Bongo's hands, still dripping slime, come back and begin banging on the drum once more-

*BOOM*
*BOOMBOOMBOOM*

*BOOM*
*BOOMBOOMBOOM*

-the slime starts bouncing around, covering a larger and larger surface area, and also casting countless glowing droplets into the air along random trajectories with every beat. Somehow, none of the vile stuff seems to bounce over the edge of the drum; instead, as the beat and chant continue and more and more of the liquid gets airborne, you start to see distinct SHAPES emerging.

The largest of those looks like a deformed human body, its neck incredibly long, arms incredibly thin, and everything below the shoulders just a sagging sack of putrid flesh. Like Bongo Bongo itself, this forming monster's arms end in stumps at the wrists, but it has hands - half a dozen of them, it appears, which are the other shapes taking form and substance from the slime as Bongo Bongo's eerie voice rises higher, forming words that you... can't quite recognize. Did the Ring's translation function suddenly fail?
There are some tongues better left unspoken.
*SHING*
*SHING*
*SHI-SHI-SHI-SHING*

The Jade Dragon slices through the slime from multiple directions, striking Bongo Bongo's hands as well as dicing up the monstrosity it was summoning or creating. The Phantom Beast's unholy music is cut short, hands flinching back from the bite of green steel and voice breaking off the chant to moan in pain, and the slime promptly drops back into a great puddle, the unformed monster within vanishing as quickly as it came.

Once again standing atop the lake of slime, Lu-sensei directs a chiding look at Bongo Bongo. "None of that, now."

And the battle resumes.

As the fight draws on, Bongo Bongo unveils additional tricks. It doesn't need slime atop the drum to try and conjure another monster; it can and does summon unformed shapes from the lake, which lurch and slog their way up the side of the instrument, moaning and slobbering. Another shift in the rhythm of the drumbeat, another whispery chant that fails to translate, and dark purple flames akin to the soul-fires of the Poes manifest, drifting through the air.

Gained Music E (Plus)

Bongo Bongo even eschews its invisibility a couple of times to redirect its power into a powerful beam that it fires from its eye like a laser: once as huge, dark beam as broad as the eye itself; and then again as a barrage of smaller beams, which shoot out from the eye along a dozen different vectors.

Lu Tze gradually steps up his own game to match the monster's escalation, and by the end, he's moving fast enough to leave multiple afterimages of himself all over the place: here, slashing one of Bongo Bongo's hands; there, sweeping a slime-monster back into the ooze from which it crawled; and elsewhere, using a Wind Palm to extinguish one of the soul-fire balls.

Bongo Bongo takes a LOT of killing, which gives it and its minion more and more chances to strike at Lu Tze - some of which they eventually make good on - but in the end, it is not the monster which stands triumphant.

*BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM-*
*BOOM!*

With a final, frantic drumbeat, Bongo Bongo collapses, darkens, and disintegrates into so much dark slime.

Slimed, battered, and visibly sweating, Lu Tze lets out a long breath and leans backwards, both hands pressing against his lower back.

"I distinctly remember this sort of thing being a lot easier," he mutters, as the Eight Trial concludes, and the Final Trial begins.

---

"I think your teacher's trying to heighten his spiritual awareness by suppressing his sight," Isshin answers you seriously. "It's a risky move-"

*BOOM-BA-BOOM-BOOM*

In the Ring, Bongo Bongo falls out of the air with a wail.

"-which seems to have paid off," the Kurosaki patriarch continues. "It's sort of related to how people who lose one sense can become more aware of the others over time, but there's a minimum level of spiritual ability you need to make it work, and it puts you in danger in combat. Not just because you reduce your awareness of the physical world, either; the more clearly you can see a spirit, the more clearly IT sees YOU, and the more easily it can affect you."

That's interesting. You wonder if you should practice that particular technique or not? Your spiritual senses are pretty solid, if not quite to the level of your magical senses, but if you ever ran into a ghost or other spectral entity that was able to hide from your innate awareness, being able to pick it out despite that would be handy.

On the other hand, there's the risk factor Isshin mentioned. Why bother taking chances with that, when you could just cast a Spell of Divination or the Spell to Purge Invisibility?

Something to consider later.

Twice already today, someone has reached all the way to a Ninth Trial, and come face-to-face with a magic mirror.

As such, you are not surprised when Lu Tze is sent to Sage Elfaron's chamber.

"Welcome, Master Lu," the ancient Hylian says with a bow.

"Greetings, Sage Elfaron," your teacher replies in kind.

"Are you prepared to confront your Shadow?"

"I wouldn't say 'no' to a healing spell, a hot meal, and a nap," Lu Tze admits. "But as I don't believe that to be in the cards-"

He pauses, giving Elfaron a chance to confirm or deny the statement.

Naturally, the Sage does neither. Though that's something of a confirmation on its own, and your teacher nods, treating as such.

"-then yes, I suppose I am."

Up comes the Mirror of Shadows.

Out comes your teacher's repressed side.

DARK MASTER OF THE SCHOOL OF FIVE ELEMENTS: SHADOW LU

*CLANG*

And in an instant, two Jade Dragons clash.

Like previous Mirror-clones, Shadow Lu is basically identical to his original, except for a palette swap. The robes your teacher picked out this morning are a mix of white, grey, and brown, which become grey, darker grey, and near-black on Shadow Lu. Thin, mostly white hair is equally thin but mostly steely grey instead, eyes that should be bright and clear are clouded, and skin that ought to have a faint tan from all that time spent in the rooftop garden is just ghastly pale.

The Jade Dragon doesn't look any different, and the bright sheen of its blade is a little jarring when contrasted with the bleak hues of its wielder.

Despite the face-to-face blade lock, neither your teacher nor his twin say anything. They just stand there for a moment, staring each other down over crossed steel and straining arms.

Then, as one, they disappear.

*CLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANG*
*SHI-CLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANG*

...okay.

Objectively, seeing your master take on another capital-M Master of equal skill in lethal combat is an awesome spectacle - in the sense of "awe" that inspires fear and tension as well as admiration. Which is only as it should be.

*SHI-CLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANG*
*SHI-CLANGCLANG*
*SHI-CLANG*
*CLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANG*

However, you can't help but feel a little frustrated - cheated, even - by the fact that all you can see of the pair are indistinct blurs of movement.

At least until both fighters stop for a breather.

Like, literally. Neither old man lowers his guard, but they're both panting and sweating.

And bleeding.

"Holy shit," Akkiko blurts out.

Yeah, that about sums it up.

It's not like either of the two Lus has lost a limb, been stabbed through a vital organ, or otherwise genuinely WOUNDED, but both of them picked up a lot of "minor" damage from that bewildering exchange. Billowing gaps in a sleeve or pantleg where a slash parted fabric, but caught nothing else; flat holes ringed with pink or red stains where a sword-tip pierced skin; a thin cut across Shadow Lu's cheek; a welt over Lu-sensei's right eye left by fist or hilt; and who knows how many developing bruises you aren't seeing.

...also, your teacher is missing most of his right mustache, for some reason.

Lu Tze reaches up with his free hand, manually investigating the trim, and gives his other, still fully-mustachioed self an unamused look. "Really?"

Shadow Lu's smirk is undiminished by his hard breathing.

"...not going to say anything?" your master says then, mildly curious.

"What needs to be said?" Shadow Lu replies with a shrug. "You already know what you did, and what you didn't do." He pauses, and then makes a pointed gesture with his blade as he adds, "Although you should look in on Yumiko again soon."

Hmmm? Is something up with Lu Tze's grand-niece?

You only met the girl the one time, and that just in passing, but she kind of stuck in your memory thanks to her ability to see Briar and the above-average levels of ki, spiritual energy, and the exceptional magical potential that engendered it.

At the time, you offered your assistance in doing something about the seemingly-mundane girl's supernatural awareness, but Lu Tze turned you down, stating that he had plans in place for the eventuality. You haven't heard anything since, and hadn't asked - it's not really your business, and if your master wanted your input, he'd have asked by now.

Still, if Shadow Lu thinks it's important enough to mention...

"Duly noted," Lu Tze tells his doppelganger. "So. Ready to go again?"

Shadow Lu's answer is to blur out of sight.

Your master follows suit.

*CLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANG*
*CLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANG*
*CLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANG*
*CLANGCLANGCLA-*
*SHI-CLANG!*

The Jade Dragons come out of nowhere, flying off in opposite directions. When the two Lus reappear a moment later, they're even more battered than before, and both cradling their right arms, which are now bleeding steadily from the forearm.

"Damn," Shadow Lu mutters, as he tries to bind the wound with what's left of his sleeve. "That move usually works."

"It didn't exactly fail this time," Lu Tze replies, mirroring the action. "We've just gotten out of practice at using it on an opponent of comparable skill."

"A point. Shall we call it a draw, then?"

"Seeing as how we would chastise any of our students for continuing to fight in this kind of condition without a life-or-death reason, and I have no desire to be a hypocrite - I would say, yes." Looking up at the shadowed surroundings, Lu Tze calls out, "If you would be so kind, Sage Elfaron?"

The old Hylian reappears, looking seriously impressed.

"That," he says, "was quite the fight."

Okay, now somebody is just messing with you.
It's not intentional.
The two Lus retrieve their swords, spend a moment puzzling over whether or not they have the CORRECT Jade Dragon, and then bow to each other, concluding their match.

Sage Elfaron raises the Mirror of Shadows, and the Trial ends.

Lu Tze reappears on the sands of the arena, his injuries healed and his weapon stowed away.

---

You make a mental note to talk with your teacher about his niece's daughter some time later.

You're thinking after the Trials, and somewhere far enough from the crowd to offer privacy for a personal matter.

Really, just ducking inside the Mansion where you're both staying would be enough.

As you make your way down through the Ring, you notice that the rest of Lu Tze's students are leaving their seats to do the same thing.
Alright, so the Little Old Man is pretty cool.
Speeding up a bit to catch up with Larry, you ask, "So whose idea was this?" gesturing at the two of you, Cordy, and Amy.
I'm still kind of ticked about him gutting the Aquamentus so fast, but I'll give him that much.
"Grandma suggested it right after the first round," Larry admits. "Something about how being Lu-sensei's students makes us the closest thing to family he has on the island?"
That still leaves the question of what to offer him, though.
The mental disconnect Larry is experiencing as he tries to associate the concepts of "student" and "teacher" with "family" is written all over his face. You don't blame him for it; it's not really a mode of thought that turns up in modern American culture, unless some kid has the misfortune to be taught by a parent or other relative. You've seen it elsewhere, though, most clearly in the case of Ambrose and the Drakes, and Emiko's aunt Hanabi and the Shuzens - live-in tutors and governesses whose roles are part of an upper-class lifestyle that harkens back to older times.
I say we upgrade his sword.
You also know that such associations aren't limited to the exceptionally wealthy. Ayane's master, Genra, is both her legal guardian and the man that raised her, making him her father in every way except blood. Navi's partner was an orphan, raised by the Kokiri under the guidance and protection of the Great Deku Tree.
That's probably not a good idea, Din.
You could probably come up with more examples, if you asked around and dug into the details, but these are plenty to illustrate the point.
Famous last words.
You make use of them to try and ease Larry past his mental block on the subject as the two of you continue on.
Shut up, Farore. Why not, Nayru? We upgraded Alex's sword.
It helps. Larry's not dumb, but he doesn't have the sheer breadth of experience that you do; once you've given him some concrete examples to look at, he finds it considerably easier to wrap his head around the idea of teachers as family.
We also MADE that sword. That gives us more say over what happens to it than anyone other than the boy himself.
It's still weirding him out a bit, but you'd need a lot more than one brief, aborted discussion on the topic to get past the impression left by three years of public education, and a short lifetime of cultural influence besides.
What about Bacon Boy's boomerang, then?
The two of you - and Briar - join Cordelia and Amy in forming a line before your teacher as he emerges from the Trials.
It was just a piece of metal before, and we didn't improve it very much. Certainly no more than he'd earned.
As one, you all salute and bow to your master.
Ahh. And you think the Little Old Man didn't do quite enough to earn an improvement to his weapon.
Lu Tze returns your respect in kind.
The Jade Dragon IS a fairly powerful blade already, and if we look at its history..
Then Cordelia speaks up. "So when do those of us who aren't Alex get to start learning how to use a sword, Sensei?"
...huh. That's a neat little trick.
"General and specific weapons training are part of a special course I offer to members of the advanced class, Cordelia," your master replies. "In the case of underaged students, it has to be cleared with a parent or guardian."
I might have to borrow that idea sometime.
Cordelia was nodding at first, but she makes a face at that last part.
Yeah, I can see where it'd work for you and yours, Fireball... okay, so messing with the sword is out.
"I'm afraid I'm still not overly familiar with cheerleading," Lu Tze apologizes, while thoughtfully - and perhaps a bit protectively - stroking his mustache and chin. "With the possible exception of sword-dancing, which I honestly can't see your parents encouraging."
I could see giving him a Heart of Spirit, after he put down Bongo Bongo, but that leaves the third option.
Cordy sighs and nods her agreement.
If I might make a suggestion, ladies?
"That said, some performance gymnasts use ribbons, and learning the use of weapons like the rope dart or chain whip might be passed off as a particularly exotic and competitive form of training for that kind of thing. To those who were less than familiar with the art, anyway."
Ah! Who are you?
And like that, Cordelia is smirking.
I am Wen.
Behind you, you can hear the sand crunching under the heavy tread of a Goron.
You're who?
Is there anything you'd like to say to or ask your teacher, before the "award ceremony" gets going?
No, Wen. Hu is my brother.

Any further plotting is forestalled by the arrival of Elder Terok, who gives your teacher his own respectful, Goron-style salute, before invoking the Goddesses.

The expected Heart Container descends, and is easily caught by your teacher, who considers the vessel closely.

---

Lu Tze is not your pet dog. He's a grown man, fully capable of making his own decisions, and moreover has a long life and plenty of experience - both with the supernatural and just in general - to inform his choices.

If he wants your input, he'll ask.

And so you say nothing as Elder Terok summons the Heart Container and your teacher stares into its glowing, crystalline heart, considering what to do with it.

Lu Tze glances at you out of the corner of one eye.

He smirks.

And then he raises both hands over his head, the Heart Container shining bright.

"Da-da-da-daaaah!"

Back in the stands, you hear Sokka wondering, "Why do they keep doing that?"

A moment later, the relic bursts into shards of light, which settle into Lu-sensei's body and disappear. You watch closely, Mage Sight, Ki Sight, and Spiritual Sight active, but your master's life-force and spiritual barely even twitch, and that only momentarily.
Heart Containers wouldn't be nearly as good if they had side-effects, now would they?
On the magical side of things, there is more to see. A concentrated mass of mana takes shape within Lu Tze's greater aura, linked to but not directly a part of your master's humble personal reserves - enough energy to cast a single spell.

Well, that answers which form of the Heart your master chose. Now the only question is, what does it summon?

This isn't really a good time to ask that, though. You've got more people waiting to take their shot at the Ring, which you are needed to power, and the audience to think about besides.

With that in mind, you ask for the next challenger, and the number of Trials they wish to attempt.

Larry's grandmother initially takes a pass on the Trials, citing her age and the fact that she didn't bring her shotgun. Shadow Alex responds to that by offering to summon her a replacement, although he explains it'll take a little while, since he needs to move down the beach to an area that hasn't had its ambient mana depleted by ritual casting.

Lily not only accepts that offer, but follows your duplicate out of the Ring; the last you see of them, she's bending his ear about the particulars of the Spell to Summon A Weapon.

Not just any shotgun will do for Lily Blaisdell, it seems.

Larry's response to this is to look simultaneously embarrassed by his grandmother's behavior, and quietly proud of how awesome she is.

While Shadow Alex and Grandma Lily are off acquiring armaments, Captain Marcus and Priest Cato converse with Elder Terok about whether or not it would be acceptable for their men to face the Trials as a unit.
Oooh, that could be interesting.
The question catches the old Goron's interest, and the three departed souls end up putting their heads together to hash out the details.

Madam Lanora steps up to take over Terok's role, while Koron replaces her in monitoring the Ring.

The first person to actually ENTER the Trials after Lu-sensei ends up being Hayashi Asamu, who appears to have been badgered into it by his wife and children.

Or perhaps that should be "foxed?"

Proper terminology aside, Asamu reluctantly opts for nine Trials, and goes through the first two - a Moblin and a Goriya, respectively - without issue. His Third Trial pits him against an adult female Keaton-

A sudden growling and aura of crackling youki draws your attention to Hayashi Natsu, who is glaring at the images projected by the Ring with such fierce jealousy that most of her children are visibly edging away from her.

-which thankfully does NOT result in another battle of humor. Instead, the Keaton-

"Call me Kia," she tells Asamu with a sweet smile and a certain ruffling of her tails.

Mr. Hayashi bows politely and gives his name in return, but nothing more.

"Grrrr..."

-challenges Asamu to a battle of wits-

"She can't compete with you physically, boy!" Uncle Hayashi bursts out.

"UNCLE!" Natsu snaps.

"And he's no match for her brains!" Briar shoots back.

"Briar!" Emiko protests. "That's my Daddy! And... okay, sometimes he's kind of silly, but he's not... I mean... haawaa..."
Problem, Nayru?
-which takes the form of a game of riddles.
This... is not going to go well.
Or at least, it tries to. The cultural gap between Earth and Hyrule is such that even some of the simplest riddles on one side are largely unfathomable to those from the other. Asamu gets the one about the sky correct, as it's blue on both worlds, but he misidentifies a Moblin for a dog - despite having faced one just minutes before - and is even farther off the mark with the one about the Deku. Kia, in turn, solves the riddle describing Time, but mistakes a fish for a Zora, and is left scratching her head when Asamu tries to explain modern currency.
...wow. I see what you mean.
The "sudden death" round goes just as badly.
So much for the cleverness of foxes.
It is perhaps a mercy that neither of them think to ask, "What have I got in my pocket?"

With the battle of wits a bust, the Keaton glumly suggests they fall back on a fight. Asamu accepts, and quickly proves that Uncle knew what he was talking about.

The next three Trials are straightforward fights, with Asamu facing down a rapier-wielding Zora, the same Goron wrestler that Akkiko did, and then the Skull Kid, the phantom trickster of the Lost Woods. That last one is half fight, half chase through a living labyrinth, but Asamu does rather well, all told, seeming almost at home in the Fae-touched forest.

Then the Seventh Trial drops him into Hell on Hyrule: the interior of a large wooden hutch, full of straw nests and loose feathers.
Really, Farore? Really?
A single white fowl stands in the middle of the room, red comb flopping as it tilts its head sharply to one side, black, beady little eye staring into the depths of Asamu's soul.
What? It's funny!
TERROR OF THE FARMYARD: CUCCO
And it's not like I sicced the whole Revenge Squad on him.
There is a mass yelp of alarm from every single Hyrulean in the audience. For yourself...

---

You join your Hyrulean guests in reflexively flinching at the sight of the clucking menace. The fear momentarily renders you silent, strangling the warning you want to voice-

"Run, Asamu! Run!"

-but by an effort of pure will, you manage to get the words out.

As one, the Hayashi family turn to regard you in surprise and confusion.

"Run!?" Sokka bursts out. "Alex, it's a chicken! A chicken!"

"That's not a chicken, you fool!" Briar snaps. "That is Death in white feathers!"

There is a beat.

In the Ring, Asamu eyes his latest opponent with an air of absolutely perplexity, and no small amount of suspicion.

"...okay," Katara says slowly. "I can see how a bird that size might be dangerous to a fairy-"

Her brother does a double-take. "Wait, what are you-"

"It's not just dangerous to fairies - although that's definitely a problem," Briar adds.

Every fairy in the audience shudders again.

"But it's just a chicken!" Sokka repeats.

"Koron," you say to the Kokiri druid, "could you stop the Ring for a sec?"

On cue, the image of Asamu vs. the Cucco pauses.

"Thank you." Raising your voice, you address the crowd below. "I think what we have here is another example of the same problem that came up during the riddle contest..."

Assisted by Koron's control over the Ring of Trials and its illusion-projecting powers, you give your Earthling guests a quick introduction to the poultry menace of Hyrule.

Said introduction includes shots of Cucco not quite flying and not quite falling as they flap through the air, covering distances which are considerable for creatures of their size, and all the more so when they are carrying the weight of grown men beneath them.

Another set of images display Cuccos on the run, keeping pace with human(oid)s, loping canines, and even some horses.

Interspersed with the above are visual records of the downright unnatural resilience of the little monsters, as they survive bites from larger animals, sword-blows that would fell some monsters, and other levels of physical abuse that would gut the chickens they so resemble. Particularly memorable is the scene of a Cucco being caught in the detonation of a Bomb; everybody in the audience has seen how destructive those devices are, capable of shattering stone, and now they see a Cucco emerging from the smoke, burnt and bleeding and stripped of feathers, but still very much alive.

"No way," Sokka protests.

It is then, and only then, that Koron displays the true horror.

Bratty children. Foolish fellow animals. Farmhands who've had too much to drink. Guards who've gotten careless with their spears. Monsters that have made their last mistake. Even, in one shot, a childish Hero.

"I warned him," Navi groans. "But he just couldn't leave well enough alone."

All fall before the blizzard of beaks, claws, feathers, and fury that is the Cucco's Revenge Squad.

There is silence.

Then, from one of the Hayashi twins: "Daddy's gonna die, isn't he?"

"...maybe not?" one of the quadruplets manages. "I mean, foxes should have a type advantage against chickens-"

"This is not Pokemon, you geek."

"I'm just saying-"

Across the way, Gyokuro looks like she has a powerful headache. "Alex," the Shuzen matriarch says, as she slowly rubs her temples, "for the love of all that is holy, WHY do these things exist?"
Because it's funny!
"Nobody's really sure," you answer helplessly. "The best answer the Sages of Hyrule ever came up with was that the Goddesses were warning people not to judge by appearances, or get too full of themselves. That, and they just think it's funny for one of the scariest creatures of all time to look like a chicken."
All very true.
"But... but it's a chicken," Sokka says faintly.
And that's the joke!

When the Trials resume, Asamu goes on considering the Cucco for a long moment.

Aloud, half to himself and half not, the kitsune muses, "I don't know exactly why, but something about this situation just SCREAMS 'set-up' to me."
Good instincts, fox.
"Buckaw?" the Cucco clucks, blinking its soulless black eyes.
But are they good enough?
"With that in mind..."

As his words trail off, Asamu begins moving around the hutch, carefully examining the nests and the larger feather-clumps. Where a regular Cucco hutch would have a number of eggs of varying freshness laying among the straw, this one has none.

"Ah-ha!"

But there is a small bag of feed tucked away in one corner, wedged between the wooden frames of the nests and buried beneath a layer of loose nest materials. A determined Cucco could still have gotten into it, but the doom-birds aren't really any smarter than their mundane cousins, and so out of sight is out of mind.

Now that the bag is IN sight, however, the clucking intensifies, and takes on a distinctly wheedling note.

Calmly, and with the practiced air of a man who's done this sort of thing hundreds of times before, Asamu opens the bag and scatters a handful of seed, calling, "Here, chick-chick-chick!"

"Buckaw!"

"Buckaw!"

"Cheep, cheep, cheep!"

Appearing as if from out of nowhere, Cuccos of all genders, ages, and colors SWARM the interior of the hutch in a flood of feathers. The proud white cockerel quarrels with a group of hens in white, brown, and spots of black, while peeping golden chicks scurry about their parents, pecking away hungrily. A couple of adolescents - larger and less brightly colored than the chicks, but leaner and less evenly-feathered than the adults - take to the air for a moment, perching themselves on Asamu's shoulders and making hopeful noises.

Slowly, all Hyrulean eyes turn to Hayashi Natsu, wordlessly expressing utter disbelief. They are joined in this by her children, youngest to eldest revealing clear confusion at their father's behavior.

The kitsune matron raises one hand to gracefully cover a laugh, before saying, "It just so happens that my dear husband grew up on a farm."
...huh.
"But Grandma lives in the city," Shinju says.
Looks like the joke's on me this time.
"And when she was married to your father's father, they lived on a farm."
Suppose I should have looked farther back than I did... oh well.
Having successfully tamed an entire flock of Cuccos, Asamu advances to his Eighth Trial.

GUARDIAN OF THE NORTHERN DESERT: MAZURA

And at that point, the civilian, evidently farm-raised kitsune finally hits his limit. Mazura's size, armor, and martial training are enough to offset a three-tailed fox's physical strength and command of foxfire, and while Asamu's use of illusions does befuddle the horse-headed warrior for a time, he can't make them real enough to do harm on their own.
Oh, so close.
Asamu puts up a good fight, but one clean hit from Mazura's mace finally drops him.
You realize what we have to give him, right?
The entire Hayashi family hurries down into the Ring to greet their patriarch and congratulate him on getting as far as the Eighth Trial.
Farore, no.
Then Elder Terok steps forward, invokes the Goddesses-
Farore, yes.
"Buckaw!"
...why do I put up with you?
"OH CRAP!"
Because I'm tiny, adorable, and kick all kinds of butt?
-and to his own visible alarm, conjures forth the same manifestation of the Clucking Doom that Asamu just overcame.

Earth's first Cucco looks around, comb flopping, and then raises its head and crows at the overhead sun, as if proclaiming its conquest and dominion of this world.

Gyokuro's headache appears to have worsened.

---

"Well," you observe with a sigh, "the hen is in the foxhouse now."

Koron snickers a bit more than the joke really calls for; it IS a rooster, after all, not a hen.

"On the positive side," you continue, "there's only the one, so at least it can't reproduce."

"They ARE cross-fertile with regular chickens," the Kokiri notes with a grin.

"...oh. Yay."

"I wouldn't worry about that too much, though," he assures you. "Hybrid Cucco are always weaker and less aggressive than their purebred kin, and even then, there's a big difference between the pen-raised and free-range breeds, to say nothing of the gap between domesticated Cucco and wild ones."

That's... moderately reassuring.

"Also," and here, a note of mature seriousness enters the Kokiri's childlike voice, "Cucco and other Hyrulean animals would be affected by the difference in local magic levels, just like those plants you've been growing for me are."

...you hadn't considered that.

Gained Zoology E (Plus) (E (Plus) (Plus) (Plus) Hyrulean animals)

That actually IS reassuring.

"I wouldn't be surprised if half the reason the Goddesses were giving out all these pets was to test how well Hyrulean animals mature on Earth," Koron goes on.
No more than a third, actually.
Whatever the Goddesses' reasoning, Asamu seems amused by his new pet murder-chicken. Particularly when his children try to explain how dangerous it is.

"Relax, kits," their father tells them, while stroking the bird's feathers with a practiced hand. "It's just a chicken."

"Baaaawk," the Cucco croons, leaning into the scratch.

Despite Asamu's reassurances, there is a distinct air of wariness about most of the Hayashis as they clear the arena.

From the open "mouth" of the Ring, Lily Blaisdell gives the feathered menace tucked under the kitsune patriarch's arm a puzzled look, then shakes her head and opens the shotgun she's been holding since she and Shadow Alex returned a minute or so shy of the end of Asamu's Trials. The weapon in question seems to be the same model that you've seen Mrs. Blaisdell shoot with - the one that her husband used to hunt with, possibly using Dragon's Breath rounds - which you now know is a Mossberg. She loads six shells into the gun in total-

"Five in the magazine, one in the chamber," as she put it.

-and then asks you for just three Trials.

When you check to make sure of the number, Lily responds, "I'm quite sure, Alex. I didn't live this long without learning basic pattern recognition. I go in there armed, and I'll be up against things no woman of my delicate constitution has any business dealing with right from the get-go." She snaps the shotgun closed, and adds, "And I am NOT going in there unarmed."

Shrugging, you charge up the Ring for three rounds.

In short order, Lily blows through a Moblin-

*BANG*

-a Doomknocker-

*BANG*
*BANG*

-and finally, a vampire.

*BANG*
*BANG*
*BANG*

It might have gone worse for Lily if the Doomknocker clearly hadn't understood what sort of weapon she was using. Though you wouldn't have cared to be in the Palace Warden's place, his armor managed to tank one shotgun blast at mid-range without suffering instantly fatal damage, and he had enough agility that he COULD have gotten himself at least partly out of the cone of fire if he'd known what he was up against. But he didn't, and so ended up taking the first blast right to the chest, which put him down and left him an easy target for the follow-up finisher.

The demonic undead was another matter. THAT enemy recognized the danger of the shotgun right off, and made full use of his uncanny speed to try and avoid taking a direct hit. Lily still clipped the corpse-demon's right arm with her first blast, knocked it on its butt with the second shot, and then put a third round through the thing from close - but not point-blank - range, the sheer amount of damage disabling the cursed thing long enough for her to reload.

A single Dragon's Breath round is enough to incinerate the damaged parasite.
Thunder AND Fire! I LIKE this weapon!
Gained Firearms F (Plus) (Plus)
I expected you would.
Following that quick and brutal display of firepower, you get a lesson in group tactics and massed combat, as the entire batch of Memorians don simple armor and weapons summoned by Priest Cato, form up under Captain Marcus, and march into the Ring of Trials as a unit. Instead of a series of separate Trials, the Goddesses provide a single vast battlefield with multiple objectives and a not-so-small army of enemy units for the ancient soldiers to test their mettle against.

Wave after wave of howling Bokoblins breaks upon the Memorian defense, while Bullbo-riding Bulblins come off decidedly worse in an exchange of fire with archers and spellslingers. The handful of Stalfos that pop up to anchor the enemy lines are more problematic, but are dealt with without serious casualties.

It takes the arrival of a Manhandla to finally break the Memorian line, and even then, the soldiers haven't truly lost cohesion, and are instead merely repositioning themselves to better deal with the threat.

Gained Tactics B

You're not sure exactly how the Goddesses are scoring this all-out battle - the Bokoblins in particular just keep coming, and in greater numbers each time - but between routing the cavalry, defoliating the Evil-Tentacled Tree, and capturing a couple of enemy strongpoints and a rocky pass that at least SLOWS the swarm of goblinoids, you'd say the Memorians have accomplished the equivalent of six or seven wins out of their requested Nine Trials.

Then that Wizzro entity shows up again, and everything goes to the Underworld in a broken Bottle.

It's not that the Memorians are completely helpless against the Dark Magic user - Marcus and Hermanus between them prove capable of handling the robed entity, albeit with difficulty - but dealing with him in ADDITION to everything else that's running around on the battlefield sorely taxes them. Some of the Twisted Sorcerer's attacks send the lower-ranked members of the Fifth Legion flying, and with their formation genuinely broken and their heaviest hitters otherwise occupied, they don't fare so well against the endless Bokoblin horde.

The Captain and Legion Mage actually do manage to defeat Wizzro, but they burn a lot of their magic doing so, on top of what they'd already spent. Combined with the handful of losses suffered in the interim, and the subsequent appearance of King Dodongo in an environment that doesn't have any conveniently-placed Bomb Flowers to trouble him, and the battle soon comes to an end.

The lads go down fighting, though, and when they reappear on the arena floor, the general laughter, cheering, and back-slapping shows that they aren't the least bit depressed by their loss.
Mars? You're up.
The celebration falls silent when Captain Marcus calls them to attention. Unlike previous rounds, Elder Terok does NOT step forward, instead bowing and making way for Priest Cato, who invokes Mars's judgment for the Trial.
Thank you, ladies.
You can almost FEEL the shock and awe among the ghosts as their patron bestows upon them a banner, which glows with a mix of Abjuration, Divination, Necromantic, and Summoning Magic, as well as the touch of the god himself.

You're honestly not sure what it's supposed to do, but Marcus himself steps forward to take up the banner, translucent hands trembling slightly as they grasp the pole.

Then he raises it high with a wordless roar, which is echoed by his men.

---

After the Memorians clear the arena, the next to enter is Hakoda, who appears to have borrowed a couple of the spears from this morning's Boar Hunt to supplement his own versions of the weapons Sokka was carrying. He opts to take all Nine Trials.

"YEAH! Go Dad! WOO-HOO!"

The Water Tribe chieftan's first three rounds bear a certain resemblance to the Trials of his two children, as he faces a Chilfos, a larger variety of Moblin armed with shield and spear, and then a White Wolfos. Each enemy is handled with relative ease by the experienced hunter and warrior, who by this point has seen them all fight before, is rather more skilled with his weapons than his firstborn was, and so, by dint of both factors, doesn't end up wrestling the lupine monster.

You do notice that Hakoda doesn't have a boomerang, for whatever reason.

The next batch of Trials put the Water Tribesman up against a Zora, a Yeti, and a Goron. The first match is combat over a partly-frozen lake, which turns into underwater combat about halfway through. The Yeti does not fight, and instead challenges Hakoda to a snowboarding competition - which the man turns out to be unexpectedly GOOD at.

The Goron is another sumo, and matching him in the ring forces Hakoda to transform for the first time that you've seen, revealing the same sort of humanoid cetacean form possessed by his children, but leaning more towards Sokka's "claws and feet" version than Katara's "hands and fins" variety.

Like Akkiko, Hakoda takes his Goron opponent five falls out of nine, though where the part-oni woman did it by main strength, the Water Tribesman uses a mix of strength and technique. A couple of his victories are a lot closer than Akkiko's were, too.

In his Seventh Trial, Hakoda faces his first boss monster - one that gives you a peculiar shock when you lay eyes on it.

BIO-ELECTRIC PARASITIC ANEMONE: BARINADE

The extra spears he picked up come in handy here, as the monster's body fairly well seethes with electrical energy, making melee less-than-advised. While they're not precisely ideal for throwing, Hakoda is strong enough to overcome any drawbacks of the spears' design, easily landing a direct hit against the jellyfish-like growths clustered about the main body. When that does nothing to stop the periodic blasts of energy from the antenna-like extremities higher up, Hakoda takes a shot at them - again, to no real effect. Finally, he eyes the pulsing, veiny growths that connect Barinade's bulky form to the "ceiling" of the disturbingly fleshy chamber, and chucks his third of four spears at one.

That finally provokes a response of pain, and in short order - made slightly longer due to the need to dodge those electrical blasts AND retrieve a couple of his fallen spears first - Hakoda succeeds in severing the monster from the ceiling.

This causes the entire thing to start whirling around the room, its previous "blanket" of crackling jellyfish now extending outwards on electrified tendrils to form a deadly, rotating barrier. The monster's bulk also crushes one of Hakoda's spears were it lies on the floor, and there is a bit of a race as the hunter hurries to retrieve the last two before losing them.

From there, it's mostly a matter of throwing a spear past that spinning, crackling barrier to hit Barinade's central core, stunning the monster and giving Hakoda an opening to close and do some real damage.

Gained Club Training D
Gained Spear Training D (Plus)

He gets zapped a couple of times along the way, but soon enough, the monster is dead.

For his Eighth Trial, Hakoda is dropped into a familiar chamber, dark and full of water, with tendrils rising around a hole in the mud at the bottom - but where Akkiko had to resort to magic to function underwater long enough to fight Morpheel, Hakoda simply assumes his non-human form, takes a deep breath at the surface, and then dives.

The subsequent fight plays out VERY differently from Akkiko's battle. Where she had to resort to magic to hold off the Bombfish, Hakoda simply swims faster than they can keep up with. Where Akkiko tore Morpheel's eye loose from the permeable tendril it was passing through mostly by good fortune while dodging the clamping of its inner jaw, Hakoda very deliberately swims OVER the monster's maw, luring it into biting at him - and in the process, nabbing a couple of its "spawn," which obligingly explode inside their "parent's" mouth, promptly a pained roar of blood and bubbles. While Morpheel is suitably distracted by THAT, eye staring in surprise at its self-inflicted injury, Hakoda swims around and spears the ocular organ straight through the pupil.

Morpheel HOWLS, and tears itself loose from the silt.

Things get a bit interesting at this point. Hakoda has established that he is a much better swimmer than Akkiko, but Morpheel's immense form is faster yet. He can dodge the monster's attempts to swallow him whole and reduce him to a well-chewed mass of torn flesh and spilled blood, but he can't do that AND strike at its obvious weak-point, nor can he catch up with the beast once it's gone past him - indeed, Hakoda needs to keep putting distance between them, to avoid being slashed by those spines or receiving a stunning swat from that powerful tail.

His saving grace is that the vast, circular chamber does have a limit to its size, meaning Morpheel can only travel so far before it must turn around - and the monster doesn't corner all that well, losing a great deal of its speed in the process.

Hakoda watches Morpheel's movements closely, peering into the murk with eyes that you suspect are better adapted for the underwater gloom than human ones would be. Then, after the beast's third attempt to snap him up like so much bait, he charges forward, spear leading and aimed not at where Morpheel IS, but where it WILL be in just a few seconds.

And like that, Hakoda scores a hit.

Morpheel learns from the experience, and instead of keeping its eye fixed on Hakoda as it turns, its starts twisting its body in the other direction, keeping its weak spot towards the curved wall of the chamber and leaving no room for Hakoda to strike it a second time.

This forces the chieftan to take a gamble: he must let Morpheel in close, evade its bite by the narrowest of margins, and grab hold of its body as it passes by, before climbing towards its eye and attacking.

The shock when he manages to catch onto the monster's scales as it shoots by seems like it should have wrenched Hakoda's arm from its socket, but he hangs on and claws his way along Morpheel's body by main strength. When Morpheel reaches the wall and begins to turn, there's a moment where it looks like Hakoda will be crushed between scale and stone, but then you catch a glimpse of the man tucked into the lee of one of the monster's rigid spines, riding out the dangerous phase.

Morpheel completes its turn and comes back around for another pass, only to pause, single eye staring this way and that in clear confusion as the monster finally notices that its quarry has vanished.

Then the orb stares straight up in shock as Hakoda "appears" over the rim of the eye, one hand grasping his spear just behind the head as he holds it high, before bringing it down like a dagger.

Morpheel's violent thrashings manage to throw Hakoda off, but the beast is bleeding, now, and while its anger gives it some extra strength for a short time, injury saps its endurance - and more critically, its speed. Hakoda still can't quite catch up to it in a straight chase, but grabbing on as it swims past is much less jarring, and allows him to get into striking distance of the eye well before Morpheel reaches the wall.

This time, when Hakoda plunges his weapon into the monster's eye, it bursts.

And the rest of Morpheel's body sails forward, jaws open in a final, wordless scream before they kiss the wall, and are then crushed against it as the rest of the monster's mass slams into them from behind.

"HELL YEAH!" Akkiko roars, leaping to her feet. "Take THAT, you overgrown eel!"

...well, it's nice to see she's not harboring any hard feelings towards Hakoda for making a better showing against that particular monster.

As has by now been established as customary, Hakoda faces his own Shadow for his Final Trial. Shadow Hakoda is somewhat grimmer than the man you know, and he seems to have quite a few things to say to his counterpart; much of it is edited out, but of what's left in, you hear arguments over decisions Hakoda has had to make, and will make in the future, in his role as the leader of his people.

The argument takes place in turns around several different fights, as the two mean take each other on with spears, clubs, knives, claws, and finally "unarmed" wrestling. Hakoda wins the first three, but loses the bout held in hybrid form when his Shadow-self turns out to be somewhat bigger and MEANER that way.

Fortunately, Hakoda gets over the surprise enough to take the wrestling match, though you can tell from his expression - and Sokka's own exclamations of shock - that the outcome is a LOT closer than he's used to or comfortable with, even accounting for his injuries.

You watch from above as Hakoda is congratulated by his children and Elder Tiriaq, and then accepts a Heart Container which strengthens the spiritual aspects of his aura.

You wonder about the significance of that choice.

Following Hakoda's victory, there is a brief discussion between the Drake and Shuzen parties. Arthur and Issa bow out fairly early on, leaving Lucia and Gyokuro to not-quite-argue while Akasha sort of hovers, looking like she's fighting the urge to interrupt.

In the end, the two wives shake hands, and Lucia shoots her husband a smirk before turning to Ambrose and extending a hand. The wizard obligingly makes with the magic, bringing forth that strange red sword you've seen Altria's mother use once before, during the battle against Dracula's army.

Lucia takes her weapon and props it up on one bare shoulder, gives each of her daughters a one-armed hug - scritching Altria's new pet Remlit behind one ear for good measure - and then marches down the stairs like a woman on a mission, sandals clacking on stone.

The strappy, frilly-skirted red dress really ought to detract from that image - especially with that bow about the middle - but somehow, it doesn't.

"Nine rounds, if you would be so good, Alex," Lucia proclaims as she hits the sand.

"You're sure?" you ask, more out of a sense of established routine than because you think Mrs. Drake is going to change her mind.

"Absolutely! With so many others having given it their best effort, and more to come, I can do no less!"

While you charge up the Ring, Lucia does a few unnecessarily flashy exercises with her sword to limber up. Then she steps into the glowing circle of the Triforce emblem, with a final declaration:

"Let the show begin!"

UNDERWORLD DRAGON: AQUAMENTUS

"My, my," Lucia muses, as she looks up at the dragon. "No holding back from the start, are we? ...I APPROVE!"
Ha! I thought you might!
Aquamentus, for his part, regards the small woman in red with a puzzled eye. "You smell somewhat familiar. Have I eaten someone related to you?"

"You had the honor of yielding to my youngest earlier," Lucia replies.

"...oh." The dragon's face can't quite go flat as human-like ones do, but he makes a good attempt. It with a decidedly more malevolent gleam in his eye that he regards Lucia anew, proclaiming, "I'm going to ENJOY eating you, woman."

"You are welcome to try!"

The battle begins-

*ROAR*
*CLANG*
*SCREEE*

"I am NOT enjoying this!"

-and ends rather soon.

"You CANNOT be human," Aquamentus complains as it bleeds out on the floor.

"Nonsense!" Lucia declares. "I am perfectly human. I'm simply extraordinary."

Modest, too.

KNIGHT OF THE SHADOWED MIRE: JERMAFENCER

"An honor to cross blades with you, Sir Knight!"

"The honor is mine, madam! ...although, I must ask; are you not cold in that?"

You can see where he's coming from. Lucia's dress might be well suited for a day on a tropical beach, but from your own match with Jermafencer, you know that his chamber is rather cool and dank. That sort of stone construction just doesn't hold heat very well.

"I thank you for your concern, but there is no need to worry on my account. The heat of battle keeps me warm!"

At that, Jermafencer just laughs. "Very well, then! Far be it from me to leave a lady in the cold!"

VENOMOUS EVIL-TENTACLED TREE: MANHANDLA

"Tch," Lucia clucks in annoyance, as the plant monster rises from the sands. "It always spoils the mood when the enemy can't appreciate proper banter."

THE BLUE KNIGHT: LEVOKNUCKLE

"Ahah! Prepare yourself, Sir Knight! I have a daughter to avenge!"

Levoknuckle salutes, but says nothing.

Lucia's eyebrow twitches.

GIANT SKITTERING ARTHROPOD: MOLDORM

"Gaaah! There is no artistry in fighting a giant bug!"

GUARDIAN OF SORCERY: CARROCK

"Final- I mean, ah-ha!" Lucia crows, looking up at the looming, robed presence. "Sword against sorcery, is it? Very-"

She's cut off as the Carrock spreads his arms wide, casting a spell that does not have any visible effect, but which proves to have an audible one - or rather, an INaudible one, as the Spell of Silence renders the indoor battlefield completely quiet.

Some of the audience laugh as Lucia shoots her opponent a look of SUCH outrage, it's a wonder the Guardian of Sorcery doesn't catch fire.

Lucia almost literally dances through her first five Trials, her swift movements carrying her out of harm's way and into elegant turns and acrobatic tumbles that build up the momentum her sword needs to cleave plant-flesh and dragon-hide, hammer Hylian steel armor hard enough that you see a few dents forming, and just smash the poor Moldorm's chitinous shell to pieces.

The battle with the Carrock takes longer, but only due to the difficulty Lucia has closing to strike with the floating AND teleporting magic-user - an issue she ultimately resolves by THROWING her sword at him, a surge of her mana and whatever enchantments are worked into it overcoming the Carrock's protections and spearing him right through the middle. The one attack isn't enough to kill the sorcerer, but it stuns and pins him long enough for Lucia to get in and go to work with her hands and feet, which are no longer bare (or in sandals), but housed in slim, elegant sections of armor that shine almost like gold.

Where did she get those?

You know that several of the chambers hosting the various boss monsters to appear in the Trials are - or were - located in some of Hyrule's many Temples, but the chamber where Lucia's Seventh Trial is set to occur is the first one that really seems to BELONG in a holy place. There is but a single window in the domed room, yet it is stained glass, and the light which passes through it illuminates some manner of altar or shrine, the front of which is flanked by torches.

Painted in black on the white floor in front of that monument is a wide circle, and at the very center of that ring, facing the altar, stands a figure some seven or eight feet tall, covered from head to toe in shining steel. At Lucia's approach, the warrior turns around, revealing that while he is somewhat shorter than Jermafencer, he is arguably more heavily protected, with more sections of ornately-styled plate than flexible mail, a visored great helm and raised collar that expose not even a hint of skin, and a round shield that covers a much larger area of the body. His weapons are likewise heavier, consisting of a broad blade with a flared "tip" more like the head of an axe than the point of a proper sword, and a second, thinner and more conventionally-shaped weapon sheathed at one hip.

The knight raises his sword and cleaves the air with a slow and simple back-and-forth cut that nonetheless conveys a sense of power and menace.

KNIGHT OF THE UNDERWORLD: DARKNUT

Lucia blinks, and her grin returns as she matches the Darknut's opening display with one of her own. "Come on, then."

Where the Carrock made a great inconvenience of itself via magic, the Darknut uses no tricks at all, instead powering ahead with strength, skill, and steel. It's a simple combination, seemingly nothing compared to a sorcerer's versatility, yet it is enough to push Lucia, and push her HARD. Where Jermafencer and Levoknuckle could match her two-handed power swings using a combination of Sword Beams, strength, and technique, the Darknut eschews the first entirely, and outmatches Mrs. Drake in the latter two. Her sword, which overcame all previous defenses relatively easily, is either intercepted by the Darknut's own massive blade, turned aside by the shield, or - more concerning - forced out of position in order to block a sudden crushing blow.

The Darknut is not swift over distance - each steel-clad footstep hits the stone floor with an almost crushing impact, hinting at the sheer weight of metal the knight wears - but within the zone of his reach, his movements flow like water and strike like lightning.

Gained Armor Proficiency D (Plus) (Plus) (Plus)

"You," Lucia grunts, as she parries one of those brutal strikes, "are holding... back."

With a momentarily visible flare of mana, Lucia whirls out of the blade-lock, around behind her foe, and manages to land a single smashing blow of her own across the Darknut's armored back before he can turn to block it.

"Don't," she advises with a cheeky smirk.

And like that, a Sword Beam swirls into being around the massive sword.

The next clash of blades blows Lucia halfway across the room.