"Rei, about what I said last night…." It was the first time Zero had caught her alone since last night and who knew when he might have another chance to speak with her again before things changed for all of them.

"Don't Zero. Please." Rei looked at him, but Zero found the expression in her eyes unreadable. He continued on anyways.

"I have to. I'm worried I hurt you and I don't want to leave without explaining it-"

"Truly. You've said enough." Rei's violet eyes flashed dark as she fully turned towards him. " I don't want or need to hear more."

"Rei-"

"You think you're doing me a favor by saying these things Zero, but you're not. The truth is, I'd rather love you from afar and not have those feelings returned than to be told that you love me back but you've chosen someone else. I get it, I really do, and I understand why you think you're being kind by drawing that line. You were strung along for so long by Yuki and you don't want that for me. But this? This, Zero… it hurts my heart so much more… I was perfectly fine yesterday morning. I'd accepted the one-sidedness of this situation and learned to live with it a long time ago. Why did you ruin that for me if it wasn't going to be me? Did you really need to crush my heart like this?"

Rei had been trying to hold it in since the talk last night, but the pain had been tearing at her since he'd said those words to her. She unconsciously scratched at the area over her chest, willing the ache to stop, trying to shake the pain from her body. She looked at Zero and the pain in her eyes floored him. Had he really been so selfish? Why had he shared his feelings with her and what did he possibly think would have come from doing so? Zero stepped back, at a loss for his own stupidity. Shaking his head, he reached for Rei, contemplating how he could possibly make this right.

She flicked his hand away, focusing eyes laden with disappointment on him. "Don't touch me. I'm so frustrated, you don't even understand." She sighed in sadness. "I never got to figure my own things out y'know? And now, even if I had wanted to, even if by some miracle he still wanted me after it was all said and done, I can't even choose Kaname. Not now that you've confessed and then rejected me. It could never feel fair after that. I would always wonder if he was really my actual choice or if it was somehow subconsciously influenced by this…" She turned watery eyes to him. "I'd finally started to think that maybe the future might just hold a chance for me to have some happiness of my own…" Rei gave a defeated shrug. "I don't know, maybe I deserve it, or maybe its just not in the cards for me, but you've taken more than you realize."

She turned from Zero. "Either way, right now we have our assignments to help find our son and we'll separate to focus on that. For now, until we depart, just leave me alone and keep away from me." Without waiting for a response, she walked off without looking back.

Zero stood watching her walk away until she completely disappeared from his sight. What had he done? The feeling welling up in his gut told him that it might very well be something that he wouldn't be able to come back from, and that his entire relationship with Rei could be at an end. The idea of it devastated him.

After saying their goodbyes, and Rei giving Roi an excessively embarrassing number of hugs and reminders for safe traveling, the two groups separated to their individual destinations.

Rei and Kaname travelled discreetly keeping a low profile. Their journey was relatively short, but the assumption was that the Association was still keeping tabs on Kaname and he should be treated as if he was under surveillance at all times. Luckily Rei was skilled at this type of evasion and by the time they reached their room for the night, she was certain that there was no way the Association could locate him and that their arrival at the N/A Outpost tomorrow would be secure.

They'd traveled an entire day, moving methodically under Rei's directive. They had spoken very few words to each other, partially because of the nature of their tasks, but also because after her conversations with both Zero and Kaname the night before, Rei had found herself having a hard time being in Kaname's presence.

Sullenly, she dropped down onto the lumpy single bed in the nondescript inn room they were sharing for the night. If sharing a bed wasn't going to be difficult enough, Rei could only assume that the wall that she'd built up today between herself and Kaname was going to make tonight that much more awkward.

Kaname for the most part had been relatively patient with her. While he'd cast the occasional glance her way, he'd remained mute for most of their travel, allowing her to set the tone and making no attempts to force conversation between the two of them. Now that they were alone however, it seemed that this patience with this non-communication may have reached its limits.

Hesitating, Kaname took a step towards the bed, but seemed to think better of it and stopped, instead retreating to a worn down chair in the corner of the room and settling there. He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes.

"Things will move fast once we reach the outpost. As soon as Zero and Yuki arrive…" Kaname spoke slowly then paused, aware that his next words would upset Rei and that he should choose them with caution. "…we'll move immediately to have my memories restored, afterwards we can use all resources at our disposal combined with all of the information that's been collected to start a new search for Hisachi."

Kaname sat forward, directing his eyes towards Rei, who sat unmoving on the bed.

"I don't know exactly what your feelings are, but I don't think I'm wrong to at least assume that they're there…"

Rei blinked, finally focusing her sight across the room at Kaname.

"What? Of course…I feel like you have to know that much at least. I mean with everything…You know that I feel something for you…" She stalled. "I just can't quantify it right now. I don't know exactly what the depth of it is, but I can't deny that feelings exist. I definitely care for you Kaname."

Kaname said nothing, his lips pressed into a tight line. After a moment's pause, he raised from the chair and crossed the room. Crouching in front of her, he raised his soft red eyes to meet hers.

Rei found herself lost in them. All she could see was a whirlwind of their time together. It seemed so short yet eerily felt as though it had spanned a lifetime. From that first obscenely strange meeting to this moment now, she never could have guessed it. And this feeling… this feeling that currently throbbed inside of her at the thought of losing him- this man that she had never even wanted in the first place…Her head spinning, Rei released the breath that she'd absently been holding.

Kaname moved closer never breaking his gaze, his mouth meeting hers in the softest of kisses. Rei closed her eyes and focused on the feel of his lips against hers. As his hand slowly caressed her cheek, Kaname slowly littered light, gentle kisses from the corner of her mouth and across her other cheek, his other hand tracing it's long fingers against the curve of her back, sending tingles down her spine, and goosebumps across her skin. Rei drew in a deep breath, her heart beating loudly in her chest. Pulling her closer, Kaname continued to kiss slowly down her jaw line, trailing them towards and then over her neck. His fingers lightly danced over her back, pressing Rei firmly against him. He paused only when Rei's body shuddered in his arms.

With a light inhale, Kaname pulled back slightly. Without looking directly at her, he asked quietly, "Do you want me to stop?" He punctuated the question with another light kiss at the juncture between her neck and shoulder, and Rei again felt herself shake in his arms, this time a light moan escaping her parted lips.

"I'll only stop if you ask me to…" Kaname murmured breathlessly, his mouth still pressed against the smooth flesh of her shoulder.

With a quivering breath, Rei raised her hands and raked them through Kaname's dark hair, gently grasping it and savoring the feel of it between her fingers. With a tortured sigh, she leaned her head against the top of his.

"Please stop."

She choked the words out, struggling with herself to even speak them. She could feel Kaname attempt to pull back, but she held him tightly to her. She didn't want to look at him- not just yet. She needed a quick moment to gather herself, otherwise she'd either break down and cry or break down and give in to him, and neither of those could be allowable options for her.

"Rei." He said her name so softly that another wave of desire for him flooded her body and she swallowed thickly, her fingers tightening in his hair. Kaname's hands slid slowly to her waist as he again attempted to pull back to look at her.

With a light exhale through her nose, Rei loosened her grip and allowed him to settle backwards. He moved only slightly back, his nose still close enough to nearly touch hers, his eyes carefully searching her own.

"Do you mean that?"

His breath was warm on her face and they were still so close his words were practically whispered into her mouth. His hands still holding firmly to her waist, tightened slightly with an almost imperceptible tug and Rei could feel her resolve shaking.

No, of course she didn't mean it. Since Zero, she'd never even thought of being with another man, but Kaname had changed all of that in so many different ways. Right now there was nothing more that she wanted than to lay with him and experience the highest forms of intimacy with him. But… real love wasn't supposed to be selfish and if she did that, that's what it would be- selfish.

She looked into his eyes and forced herself to look past tonight and into what tomorrow would hold. At this thought, her shoulders slumped and her own lust was replaced with sorrow. Kaname was making major concessions in his life for her. This would have to be hers for him. She couldn't meet his eyes.

"Yes, I mean it."

A single fat tear pooled and threatened to drop from her eye, but before she could brush it away, Kaname wiped it for her. He then took the pad of his thumb and gently ran it across her lips, a forlorn expression on his face. Finally, he gave a short nod and without another word, he pulled his hand from her waist and gave her a light peck on the cheek before withdrawing back from her. Rei wasn't surprised. She knew he wouldn't push the issue and he wouldn't press her for answers.

Still, like a contrite child fearful of being admonished, for some reason she felt an undeniable need to spill her guts to him. Watching him say nothing made her feel worst, and the quieter he was, the more she couldn't help but feel the need to confess.

As they sat in silence -Kaname on the floor, staring quietly off into space, and Rei still on the bed, her head in her hands, her thoughts running a mile a minute - she found that she could no longer hold it in. Without a word, Rei flung herself down to the floor dropping into a startled Kaname's lap and staring into his handsome face.

"You'd hate yourself."

Rei paused, trying to figure out the best way to phrase it, then deciding that it didn't matter. Tomorrow it would all be over anyways. She'd say what she wanted, however she wanted, today.

"Rei, what are you-"

"If we slept together. You think you want it now, but trust me, tomorrow when your memories are back…" Rei dropped her head, the reality of it all hitting her once again. "You won't feel that way anymore."

She looked up into his eyes, they were trained on her and sympathetic. He opened his mouth to speak and she quickly clapped a hand over it

"Please don't Kaname. I know you'll say it's not true, but you'll just have to trust me. No matter what you say now. When your memories return and all you can think about is how much you love Yuki…" She swallowed a painful lump at having to once again say the words out loud. "You probably won't be mad at me, but you'll hate yourself. You'll have a hard time forgiving yourself for having done this with me tonight." Rei's eye's glistened as she stared at him, reaching out to trace the shape of his face with her fingers.

"Of course I want to be with you, it's harder than you can even imagine to stop right now. But when I think of what the realization will do to you tomorrow… I just can't do that to you. No matter how badly I want you, I just can't." Rei leaned forward, throwing her arms around his neck and nuzzling her nose into him, inhaling and trying to remember his smell. She embraced him tightly and shivered as she felt his arms wrap tightly around her. After a moment she released him and situated herself comfortably in his lap, resting her back against his chest and closing her eyes. "I hope you can understand."

Kaname gave a small snort and placed his chin on the top of her head. "I don't think I agree, but I know there's no arguing with you… plus I suppose if nothing else, I can understand your intent."

After a long pause she heard him take a deep breath. "I wonder though… if you're concerned about that level of affection…" she felt his fingers creep up and gently pull the fabric from the shoulder of her shirt. " How would you feel about something just slightly less physical but still relatively intimate?"

Rei twisted her head around to look at him, wondering what he could have in mind.

As she woke up the next morning, Rei found herself oddly comfortable and well rested from the night before. Trying to get her bearings she remembered the night before and quickly recalled that the secure warmth covering her right now was none other than Kaname's naked body lying next to her. With a light blush, Rei pulled the sheet up to cover her own naked body and turned to face an amused Kaname. He sat his head up on an arm and smiled kindly at her.

"What now? Did you forget where you were? Or…." He grinned wickedly, "Did you forget last nights…activities?"

Flushing red, Rei picked up a nearby pillow and tossed it at him, "I didn't forget and I know we didn't do anything, stop trying to mess with me."

Gently, Kaname reached out and pulled her to him, his mouth meeting hers as he kissed her slowly and ran his fingers through her long black hair.

"Thank you for going along with it though. Sleeping next to you like this… I think it was nearly just as good…I enjoyed being this close with you." He said seriously.

Rei watched him as he studied her face, slowly taking a hand and running his finger across the thin scar that outlined the left side of it. Cautiously, he brought the finger down from her face and slid it down her chest, letting it linger at the faint scar right above her heart. The remnant of her battle with Rido. Kaname gently rested his hand there, stroking the scar tenderly with his thumb as he gazed at her.

For the first time ever, Rei thought that Kaname looked a little bit frightened himself. She reached out a hand and ran it gingerly across his smooth chest, tracing the outline of muscle beneath.

"How do you feel? Are you ready?"

He looked at her, his eyes a mixture of emotion and completely unreadable.

"Ready for the possibility that things may change between us? No. I don't think I could ever be ready for that. I still hold out hope though that you're wrong about the severity of this."

Rei gave a wry smile. "Yeah, well me too. If there was ever something to be wrong about, I only wish it could be this." As emotions began to overtake her, she quickly slipped out of the bed and took to the shower to gather her bearings. Last night had been so sweet, and even this morning… it still delighted her to see that Kaname could actually be playful, but now her anger was beginning to rise up and was starting to overshadow those good memories and feelings. She didn't want that. She didn't want to go into this next act feeling this way…

As the steam filled the bathroom and she eagerly stepped under the spray of the hot water, she suddenly felt a hard body step in behind her. Quickly, she spun around in surprise and found herself pulled into Kaname's arms as he moved into the shower with her. The shower cascaded over the two of them and Rei looked up at him. The water flowed through his shoulder length hair and over his face. With eyes full of sorrow, he stared solemnly down at her. Slowly she felt her rising anger begin to subside. Rei let the water cover them both as she allowed herself to succumb and fall silently into his arms. She laid her head on his chest, closing her eyes and focusing on the soothing pour of the water and the feel of Kaname's skin against hers.

The shower was calming but it didn't last nearly long enough. As they dried off and dressed in anticipation of the day's events, the tension between them crept up once again. This time it seemed to Rei that it thickened and easily grew to stifling levels. They arrived early at the N/A Outpost, and after dropping their bags off in a shared room, Rei immediately headed off to connect with Yaguri and Kaien, while Kaname went to the library to review some of the archived vampire documents that Kaien had prepared for him.

The research that Kaien had already done was extensive. After a short period spent catching up and explaining the nuances of Rei's disappearance and the past 8 years of her life- including entertaining many, understandably detailed questions centered around Roihichi- Rei eagerly dived into the records and documents that Kaien had already managed to compile for her. While there wasn't a lot to go on, Kaien had scoured many sources and the information that he had obtained was solid.

Based on this Rei had found that the woman who had taken her son was not just a cursed twin of the Kiryu clan, but apparently a part of the first set of cursed twins of the clan. The original curse bearers. Rei was still trying to wrap her head around this one because as far as she could tell, while the woman had been a bit older, she definitely couldn't have passed for a few hundred years old.

They had then turned to a different document that Kaien had located. This one made reference to cursed twins with special powers, referred to by their clan members as 'witches' because of their unnatural abilities. Detailed information about the curse was scarce, as well as information about how the witches abilities came to be and explanation about their supernatural life spans. It did however point to a location that was referred to as the birthplace of the cursed witch twins, foretold to be their beginning and end. It sounded ominous to Rei. Like the missing link in her search and the perfect place to start.

As she yawned and stretched, Rei realized that a new day had dawned and she had spent the entire night poured over the records with Kaien in his office. Surely at least some of this could have waited until later or at least until after a good night's sleep? She wondered if it was the urgency of the situation, or a subconscious desire to not return to Kaname that was keeping her here? 'Did I really do this just to avoid my last night with him?' Rei frowned at the thought. Zero, Yuki, and Roi were not far behind them, they would be here soon. Was it foolish of her to not be spending every moment that she could with Kaname while she still could?

As she tried to shake the thought off, she looked up to find Kaien staring openly at her, a concerned look on his face.

"You know, it's been a long time Rei, but even now I can see that some things never really change…"

Rei opened her mouth to question him, but Kaien gave her a soft smile and patted her hand gently.

"It's okay. I'm just elated to see you again and I'll leave it at that. I'm sure you'll sort the rest out yourself." Kaien stood up abruptly. "I've thought of a book that I think will be really helpful. I'm going to run to the archives and see if I can find it." He paused, "It may take me a while, if you want to head back to your room for a bit, I can come bring it to you once I've found it." He flashed her a broad, toothy smile and gave her a playful wave as he bounded out of the room.

Rei bristled. 'Leave it to Kaien. Even now he's still not very subtle… Though I have been here all night, I should at least take these new papers back to the room and pack them up.' Rei sighed and picked up the sheets of new leads that she and Kaien had come up with. She had been right and Kaien was just the person she'd needed. Together they'd come up with a location that Rei was sure would either lead directly to Hisachi or give her the clue she needed about precisely where to find him. Rei stood to exit the study and follow Kaien's advice. Besides, with this information she planned on leaving just as soon as she could get packed.

As she was getting to her feet, there was a quick knock at the door before it slowly swung open. Yaguri poked his head inside and gave a small grin.

"You have a visitor."

Rei looked up towards the door.

"Mom!"

Rei's heart stopped as she saw Roihichi come bounding into the room, his eyes afire with glee and seemingly in perfect health and condition. She immediately knew that part of the frozen feeling she was experiencing was because she was happy to see her son return after their brief separation, but that the main reason, was what Roihichi being here really meant. Zero and Yuki were back. It was time.

As Rei opened the door to the room where she and Kaname had dropped their items, she found him standing at the window in apparent contemplation. She watched him for a moment, uncertain herself of what to say or do next. Awkwardly she decided to opt to just begin her preparations.

She laid out the the maps and documents that she had brought in from Kaien's study and prepared to pack them in her bag. She moved decidedly around the room, re-packing her bags with the new items and clearing out useless ones in anticipation for the next journey. She intentionally avoided contact with Kaname, instead allowing him to continue his thoughts uninterrupted. She wasn't completely oblivious to the point when Kaname finally turned around to wordlessly watch her, she just chose not to engage with him.

Truthfully, Rei wasn't really sure what to say at this point. It felt like a heavy pressure was upon her and she found herself unable to even look Kaname's way, let alone speak to him. Instead, she moved about the room with laser-focus on packing her bags for the upcoming trip and trying her best to avoid the obvious elephant looming in the room with them. That ticking time-bomb of an elephant- taking up space, sucking up the air, and slowly suffocating them both. Rei intended to pretend it wasn't there for as long as she possibly could.

Finally Kaname broke their standstill, his words cutting through the quiet and piercing silence. "Is there really nothing more to say? Are we to move into this next foray so distant from each other?" He turned towards her but made no move to come closer. Instead staying put and examining her continued movements as she hurriedly stuffed items into her bag, her back turned to him.

"I'm not ready." Rei said angrily, stopping her packing but still refusing to look at him, "There's your answer. There's the truth of it. I know what's waiting on the other side of this and I don't want it. I'm not ready for this."

Kaname moved to sit on the edge of the room's bed and gently guided Rei to stand in front of him. Stroking her arm he looked into her face. "Do you know what you want Rei? Have you finally decided?" He implored. Rei remained silent, and at this Kaname slowly nodded and pulled her into a light embrace. "That's okay. I'm doing this for you, just remember that. Whatever happens in the end, I'll help you find Hisachi and that matters most of all, right?"

He stood up and with an expression that Rei could only describe as wistful, he tilted her face to his and gently brought his mouth to hers. The kiss was warm, sweet, and intimate, but like Kaname's eyes, it too somehow felt tinged with sadness to Rei. She closed her eyes and once again got lost in the feeling of being in his arms. When Kaname finally broke the kiss, Rei reluctantly stepped back, absently touching her fingertips to her lips.

"Yuki will be here soon," Kaname whispered. "I'm sure I know the answer, but I'd like to ask anyways. Would you like to stay? While she…"

"No. No thanks- I'd rather not." Rei shook her head hard and stepped back again. There was a sudden knock at the door.

"Kaname?"

Rei could hear Yuki's voice calling him from the other side. Irritation and anger flooded forward and Rei bit her lip to calm herself. Kaname looked at her with sad eyes and lightly patted her head, before calling for Yuki to come in.

Rei cut her eyes angrily at him, but even she knew she couldn't disguise the pain reflected in them. As the door creaked open, she hurriedly tossed the remaining items into her bag and slung it swiftly across her shoulder. Without meeting Yuki's eyes or even acknowledging her, Rei swept towards the door in long strides, eager to distance herself as quickly as humanly possible from the two of them. As she reached the doorway, Kaname caught her, grasping her arm lightly in the hall.

"This envelope," he said, handing her a small envelope sealed with her name printed across the front. "I want you to hold on to it for me. Don't open it now, but a time will come when I'll ask you to, and you can do it for me then alright? Until then, just don't lose it."

Rei threw him an impatient look. Was this really the time for this? As though he could read her mind, Kaname kissed her head.

"It's important and I needed to make sure I gave it to you now. You'll see."

Frowning, Rei took the envelope from Kaname and thrust it haphazardly into the bag on her shoulder, watching helplessly as he turned and retreated back into the room, the door closing behind him with a resounding click.

"Running?"

At the sound of Kaname's voice, Rei's hand dropped from the door handle and her bag hit the floor. Shit. Too late. She'd tried to go out the side door to avoid everyone, but apparently that had been the obvious choice. In a hideout filled with suspicious and paranoid characters, it seems the front door would have been the better option for escape.

"Yes. I'm running." Rei refused to turn around, addressing him instead with her back turned to him. "I don't want to see your face Kaname. I don't even want to hear your voice." Her own voice cracked as she spoke. "I just want to be gone from this place as soon as I can. Having to actually hear you say it, would be the worst possible thing that I can imagine. And if you dare sit and try to explain it to me…? I think I might vomit. Please just go and let me leave." All of a sudden Rei's entire body felt exhausted. She couldn't do this any longer.

After leaving Kaname with Yuki, she had rushed back to Kaien to pick up the maps and items that she needed for her trip then she'd ran to grab food and water, and finally some cash from the travel vault. She'd stopped to say her goodbyes to Roihichi and had worked hard to avoid anyone that she thought might hold her up. She thought she'd made pretty good timing. Now, however, she wished she had been able to move sooner, the last thing she'd wanted was to still be here when Kaname and Yuki finished.

Gritting her teeth, she reached out and opened the door, preparing to just step out and end this conversation on her own terms. Without a sound, Kaname appeared in the doorway before her, blocking her path. Rei hissed, drawing her breath in and turning her head to keep from looking at him. 'Yep, so he definitely is a vampire again.' The thought distressed her.

"Were you going to leave without saying anything?" He asked quietly.

"Absolutely."

Rei straightened up and turned to pick up her bag behind her, keeping her back to Kaname and the door. "I'm really not kidding about what I said, and this conversation has already gone on too long. Just leave and let me go now, please Kaname."

He stayed silent for a moment. Finally, "I won't stop you then."

Rei didn't move. The silence between them grew to maddening levels until Rei dropped to her knees and hung her head.

"I can't do it Kaname, I can't." She covered her face with her hands.

"I thought I was strong, but I don't want to be anymore. I'm tired of it. Tired of being the second choice and being overlooked. Tired of saying it's fine and it doesn't matter, when I've realized now that it does. It turns out that I actually do want somebody to choose me for once!"

She turned in his direction, still not looking directly at him.

"That was thanks to you, Kaname. I realized that I am someone who can be loved. And the feeling of loving someone and having them love you back is priceless. Rejection is awful and I think at this point I've had enough of it to last a lifetime, but you've taught me that it doesn't have to end there, and so I won't let it. Maybe there's a chance that someone else, somewhere else, could one day touch my heart again too, and just maybe that could be the person who would want me and would love only me. It's not selfish for me to say that I don't want to share someone's love."

Rei let out a shaky breath. "I'll keep fighting for that possibility, but right now I can't be beat down by this any longer. It hurts more than I can put into words, and yeah, running away from it may sound cruel, but trust me, forcing me to hear those words yet again, asking me to stay on this shitty merry go round of torture, would be much crueler. Honestly, I just want out of this twisted web of misery. In truth I've always just been a spectator anyways. Someone just waiting on the sidelines to be handed out as a consolation prize. You don't need me. You and Zero can continue to spin your wheels around Yuki and I'm sure it will eventually work out for one of you. But I won't sit and watch any more. I did it with Zero and no way will I ever sit on the side and watch you too." Rei inhaled deeply, her body shaking with emotion "..I… I don't want to hear you say it." She looked up at him, meeting his eyes for the first time, and unable to hide the anguish she felt. "I'm not entirely sure that it won't break me."

Kaname lowered his eyes and nodded. Without a word he backed out of the doorway, averting his eyes from hers. Rei stood up and grabbed her bag, and without a backward glance walked past him. As she did she heard his words, just a whisper and barely there, but they reached her ears nontheless.

"I will keep my promise, Rei."

Rei halted for just a split second and then continued out of the outpost's door, with no further acknowledgment of him. 'I know you will Kaname,' As she walked forward she thought to herself, 'You better. After all, my happiness was sacrificed for the sake of that promise'.

Fighting back an urge to cry. Rei stepped out of the N/A outpost, determined that this time no matter what she would find her son and bring him back home. She was going to make sure that all of this was worth it.