This update is a week late, but school always comes first. But hey, at least I still got it in the same month!

And now for a continuation of Iroh's Adventures in Halkegenia! Wait, that's not the title? Founder's Foot Fungus!

Iroh was lost.

It was ironic that someone who had served as a spiritual guide to many wandering souls was now physical lost in the most literal sense of the word. He had taken the stairs down from Louise's room, hoping to find his way to where the teacher's offices would be. If he was to stay in the Academy, he would need his own room and accommodations, after all. Unfortunately, the few signs in the building were marked with symbols as foreign as the ones on his hand. He couldn't find any normal writing on any of the signs, and everyone he could find were rather rushing about or preoccupied with some task.

Iroh sighed. He didn't wish to disturb the students from their studies. Partially because it would be rude, and partially because he knew noble children were unlikely to take time out of their day for a random old man. He also didn't want to pull one of the servants from their work, but it looked like he would to unless he wanted to wander around aimlessly.

"Excuse me, do you need some assistance?" a soft voice requested.

Iroh turned around and froze. The beauty in front of him was young enough to be his granddaughter—if he hadn't spent about a century in the spirit world—and his eyes weren't far gone enough to miss the Fire Nation features in her face and hair. She wore one of the unusually frilly server uniforms that he had seen the female staff wear, and it accentuated her figure well.

"My apologies for staring, miss," Iroh said after a moment. "I didn't expect to find a charming maiden such as yourself."

The maid blinked, then blushed at the unexpected compliment. "You're too kind, Mister…?"

"Iroh," he supplied. "And what might your name be?"

"My name is Siesta, Mister Iroh," the maid replied with courtesy. "I am a maid of the academy."

"Oh? In that case, my dear, perhaps you could help me with something. I'm trying to find my way to whoever's in charge of this Academy."

"Headmaster Osmond?" the maid queried. Iroh nodded. The name was unfamiliar, but the title sounded right. "His office is on the top floor; I can show you how to get there."

"By all means, lead the way," said Iroh.

As Siesta guided him, Iroh casually asked. "I don't mean to be too personal, but your features remind me of people from my homeland."

"Really?" Siesta asked. "I inherited them from my great-grandfather, but he came from another country not in Halkegenia."

"What a coincidence, so am I," said Iroh. "I was born in the Fire Nation."

The girl's eyes widened. "That's where my great-grandfather said he came from!" she exclaimed. "We always thought he was joking, since no one would name a country after a branch of magic. Wait, does this mean his other stories were true too? Strange creatures and mages without wands?"

Iroh laughed. "Strange would be relative, but yes, people from my country use no wand for our flame. Our fire comes from within." To demonstrate, he rolled his wrist and held his palm up, revealing a small dancing flame. Seista stopped to stare at it, enraptured by the sight.

"Incredible."

Iroh waved his fingers to make the fire dance for a few seconds before letting it die out. "Did your great-grandfather every say how he ended up in this country?" he asked.

Siesta nodded as she resumed walking. "He rode in on an airship that crashed in the ocean," she replied. "My great-grandmother found him washed up on the shore and nursed him back to health." Siesta's eyes grew brighter as she recounted the tale. "Their romance was like a tale out of a storybook. A young village girl saving a stranger from a faraway land!"

"That does sound like a wonderful tale," said Iroh thoughtfully. "I'd like to hear more about your great-grandparents, perhaps over a cup of tea?"

"I'd like that as well," Siesta replied with a smile. "Oh, here we are!"

Iroh looked ahead to see… the very staircase he had descended from. "It appears that I was closer to my goal at the beginning of my journey," he said with a resigned sigh. "At least it was a worthwhile detour. How high up is Headmaster Osmond's office?"

"The Headmaster's office is all the way on the top floor," said Siesta. "I would show you the rest of the way, but I have to return to my duties."

"You've gotten me on the right path; that's more than enough for this old man," said Iroh with a smile. "Take care of yourself, and maybe next we'll have time to talk over a good cup of Jasmine tea."

Iroh kept up the smile as he waved the girl off, but his expression fell as he gazed up at the endless spiral of stairs. "My body feels younger than before, but I'm still an old man," he lamented. "How does this headmaster get to his office every day? Does he live at the top of the tower?"

There were no answers to be found, so Iroh began his ascent. As he climbed up the winding staircase, he passed several students who were heading down. They gave him strange looks and moved aside to let him pass, but none interacted with him aside from the occasional nod of acknowledgement, which Iroh returned. Halfway up the staircase, one of the passing students, a dainty brunette with amethyst eyes, stopped to greet Iroh properly.

"Good morning, sir," she greeted him with a polite nod and smile.

"Good morning to you, young miss," Iroh responded kindly.

"Are you looking for the headmaster's office, by any chance?"

Iroh's eyes widened. "As a matter of fact, I am. How did you guess? No, don't tell me. You are a master of deduction."

The girl giggled. "I wouldn't say that. There's little else at the top floors of the tower, so the Headmaster was the only logical assumption." She looked at him curiously. "If I may ask, why don't you fly to the Headmaster's office? We normally walk for the exercise, but the stairwell is wide enough for you to fly to the top floor without hitting anything."

"Flight? I'm afraid that wouldn't be a good idea, young miss," Iroh replied. "My element is fire, not air. It would be tragedy if such a lovely building caught fire because I wanted to save time."

The girl's face flushed. "My apologies, I shouldn't have assumed," she squeaked.

"Believe me, I take no offense," said Iroh.

Despite his words, the girl was still red-faced as she gave him a hasty a half-bow and hurriedly continued down the steps.

"What an easily flustered girl," Iroh remarked. "Very well-mannered though." He slapped his forehead. "I forgot to introduce myself and get her name. What a pity."

Eventually, Iroh made it to the top of the winding staircase. He glanced over the railing. "That's not going to be fun to go back down," he commented. "Well, no point in dwelling on it. The future can always be put off for later. Now where's this man's office? Ah, here it is!" He knocked on the door and waited for a response.

"Come in!" a wizened voice answered.

Iroh did so. The room looked like what he would expect from a headmaster's office. An old man sat in a large desk in the center of the room. Off to the side was young lady working at a smaller desk. Iroh assumed she was the headmaster's secretary. Bookshelves lined the walls of the rather spacious office, and pair of large windows cast light into the room.

"Greetings, Headmaster Osmond," Iroh said, putting his hands together and giving a polite bow. "My name is Iroh, and I was recently summoned by one of your students."

"Hm? Oh, yes, I remember Colbert mentioning you," Osmond said with a nod. "How can I help you?"

"Well…"

The brief meeting had gone well. The Headmaster had been a reasonable sort, easily agreeing with Iroh's requests. Now Iroh was Louise's semi-official tutor and would have access to all the amenities of the academy like any of the teachers.

Perhaps it was a bit suspicious how accepting Osmond had been to Iroh's requests. Then again, the headmaster had spent half of the meeting peeking glances at his secretary… Iroh shook his head and dismissed his suspicions. The secretary had a mature, modest beauty to her. It was only natural for a man to be put at ease in the presence of such a woman.

Now the old firebender was wandering the school grounds. He wanted to familiarize himself with the new environment, and he was feeling a bit peckish as well. The tantalizing scent of freshly baked pastries were in the air. Iroh let his nose guide him towards an outdoor seating area where several of the students were enjoying snacks and refreshments. Iroh set himself down at an empty table at the edge of arrangement.

Seconds after he had gotten comfortable in seat, a nearby maid came to get his order. "What would you like to have, sir?"

"A cup of Jasmine tea, please."

"Ah…" the maid looked embarrassed. "I'm afraid that don't have any Jasmine tea at the moment. It's not ordered very often compared to the other teas we have, so we don't always have it in stock."

Iroh sighed. "I suppose I'll have to do without," he lamented. Seeing the maid's distress, he brightened his tone. "How about you surprise me? This is my first time visiting this country, so I'll take whatever you recommend."

"Are you sure you want a commoner to choose for you, sir?" the maid asked dubiously.

"Who better?" Iroh countered with a wink.

A small smile crossed the maid's face. "I'll ask the chef to whip up something special for you," she said.

Iroh smiled as he watched her go. No matter where he went, it was always the same. If one wanted to get the best of the local dishes, it was always good to get an "in" with the people in the kitchen. Too many nobles underestimated the power of connections to workers.

As those thoughts were mulling in Iroh's mind, his ears caught a shout from a few tables down. He sat up and turned to the rising commotion. A blond noble boy was standing between two girls, one a blond with ringlets and the other a brunette. In fact, the second girl was the same brunette Iroh had run into in the stairway. Iroh strained to hear the conversation, which was being made easier as other tables were ceasing their conversation to watch the spectacle.

"So, you were going behind my back with a first-year, Guiche?" the blonde girl was asking the boy.

"Guiche, am I nothing more than your side girl?" the brunette asked.

"Ladies, please," the boy, Guiche, said serenely. "You both are very beautiful maidens, and I couldn't possibly choose between the two of you. That is why I have decided to share my affection with both of you!"

"Wrong choice of words," Iroh commented, even knowing that Guiche couldn't hear him.

"You were cheating on me!"

"My darling, Montmorency…"

"You were using me!"

"Katie, my dear…"

Each girl slapped one of Guiche's cheeks. The force of the twin impacts sent the boy flying head over heels before he landed eagle spread on the grass. The girls split up and ran off as the crowd began laughing at Guiche. Iroh could barely make out the trembling of form of Guiche lying on the ground.

Iroh couldn't help a chuckle himself. He'd seen cliched romantic antics in plays, but he never expected to see something like that in real life. His amusement quickly dried up as he realized that the noble children were continuing to mock and gossip about their classmate's actions. This wasn't the good-natured ribbing of friends who teased each other, this was the jeering ill-mannered youths.

"Someone should teach these children some manners," Iroh muttered as he rose from his seat.

Guiche sat up, rubbing his stinging cheeks. His backside was pained as well, but he was disgraced enough without rubbing his rump in public. He could hear the laughter of his classmates all around him. They taunted him, telling him that he had it coming, and that his disgrace was a fitting fall for a playboy. He could practically feel their scorn, suffocating him from all sides…

"You look like you could use a hand."

Guiche looked up to see the old man Louise had summoned. He had a hand reaching down to Guiche, and a crinkled smile on his wrinkled face. "Come on now, don't leave an old man waiting."

While surprised by the gesture, Guiche remembered his manners. He took Iroh's outstretched hand and let the old man help him up, showing surprising strength for his age. "I suppose Louise sent you?" Guiche asked as he dusted off his robes.

"Miss Louise? No, I came out for a snack," Iroh responded casually. "In fact, why don't you join me? Food always taste best when enjoyed with company."

While Guiche wasn't the wisest person of his year, he wasn't an idiot. He could tell Iroh was making an offering out of pity. His first instinct was to reject the invitation. However, hearing the snickering of classmates, his pride was wilted. "I think I will take you up on that offer," he said. "Though I doubt anything will taste sweet again after such a loss."

"We'll see," Iroh said mysteriously, giving the boy a wink.

"…but then one of the maids picked up Montmorency's perfume and insisted on delivering it to me instead of taking my hints. How does one not understand 'that perfume is absolutely not mine' to mean anything other than 'return that to me in private at a later time'?"

"Yes, that is most obviously what you meant," Iroh remarked dryly.

Guiche didn't notice the sarcasm as he continued, lost in his tale. "With the absolute worst timing, Montmorency showed up and asked what a servant was doing with her perfume. Then she and Katie started talking, and they found out that I was going out with both of them behind their backs." Guiche clenched his hand into a fist. "Both girls were moved to tears because of that maid's clumsiness."

"…you don't think any of the blame falls on your shoulders?"

"What? Of course not!" Guiche denied. "If that maid hadn't interfered, I would have been able to balance my time with both girls, keeping them happy without them finding out about each other."

Iroh sighed. "How about this. Say the maid understood what you meant and left to go return the perfume later, wouldn't this Montmorency still run into her and ask what she was doing with her perfume?"

"Urk!"

"And even if you hadn't been discovered then, how long could you keep the charade up?" Iroh asked. "Women are clingy, especially at such a tender age. Don't you think that it's inevitable that they would eventually meet each other?"

"Well…" Guiche said with a nervous chuckle. "I had been using the different class schedules to make sure I rotate my time with them when the other is preoccupied. That way they would never see me with the other girl."

"Yet almost everyone from your year knew about your activities. I suspect the only reason no one had informed them about your actions was because they found your situation amusing," Iroh remarked. Guiche visibly wilted as he realized that he hadn't been as clever as he thought. "Putting that aside, do you believe that it's fair to them?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" Guiche asked. "I'm giving both of them the attention they deserve as fair maidens."

"I can't speak much for Montmorency, but I met Katie earlier in the day, and she struck me as a shy, well-mannered young girl," Iroh commented. "Easily flustered, very innocent, I can see what you like in her."

"Then you understand!"

"However, I can't imagine how she's feeling, knowing that the one who she was so enraptured with has been in a relationship with another girl long before she met him," Iroh said firmly. "It must be heartbreaking, to give so much to someone who only gave half of themselves, at best, in return."

The change in Guiche's posture was noticeable. His shoulder's slumped as he lost all traces of his prior bravado. "I-I didn't think about that," Guiche admitted.

"When interacting with others, you must understand their feelings as well," said Iroh. "It's amazing what avenues open up when you do."

Just then, the maid from earlier, came by with Iroh's order. "Here you are, sir, a chef's special," she said as she set down a plate in front of him. The plate held a strange looking dish. The base of it was made from a flat roll. Red sauce peeked out from underneath the melted cheese and vegetables that covered the top.

Guiche's eyes bugged out. "How come I've never seen this dish before?" he asked, almost accusingly.

"I asked her to surprise me," Iroh replied simply. "It looks delicious, and healthy too."

"I figured you would like something a little less rich," the maid said. "The ingredients are mostly what we servants eat, but I assure you that the dish is excellent."

"You can't serve the man commoner food," Guiche stated.

Iroh raised one hand to silence the blond. His other hand reached down to the plate and brought the food up to his mouth. He took a bite of the cheesy, moist, bready goodness. He chewed in silent contemplation. Slowly, he swallowed, and let flavor linger on his tongue as exhaled a content sigh. "Excellent, please give my regards to chef, miss…?"

"Amille, sir."

"Just call me Iroh," he said with a smile. "If it's not too much trouble, would you be able to get a second one of these for this young man?"

"Most certainly. Would you like another as well?"

Iroh quickly realized that his meal was pretty much all gone. Only a mere mouthful was left in hands. "Yes, if you please." The sound of desperation in his voice was painfully obvious.

Amille's knowing smile struck Iroh right in the heart. "I'll be right back with your order."

Guiche watched the maid leave, practically floating on air. "Why do you want to know the name of a servant? And why do you want me to eat commoner food?" Guiche received no response, as Iroh was too busy staring at the last bite of his serving. "Are you… going to eat it?"

"I will," Iroh replied. "But I'm not sure if I should eat it now, and suffer not being able to enjoy its flavor until Miss Amille returns with another. However, if I wait until she returns, it will get cold, and wouldn't be as enjoyable as it is now."

The dilemma had an obvious solution in Guiche's eyes. "If it won't taste as good in the future as it does now, shouldn't you enjoy it while it's still at its best? Live life to the fullest, or something like that."

"You are correct," said Iroh. "However, if the next one takes too long to come, then I will be left with only the memory of the taste." He stared hard at the last bite, and then put it to his mouth. "Delicious…" he said as his eyes started to water.

"…are you okay?"

"I am mourning the passing of this delicious food," Iroh said as he clapped his hands together. "May its flavor be forever ingrained on my tongue."

"The maid will come around with a second one." Iroh didn't seem to hear Guiche, so the boy awkwardly waited in seated silence until Amile came with their plates. Only then, after he had taken a bite, did he realized what he had been missing.

"It's good, isn't it?" Iroh asked.

"The flavor is so simple, but so potent," said Guiche in surprise as he bit in with gusto. "How did they do it? This is tomato sauce, vegetables, and cheese on bread. Commoner ingredients shouldn't taste this good!"

"This is the power of relationships," said Iroh sagely.

Guiche sputtered and choked. "You're in a relationship with that maid?!" His statement caught the attention of some of the nearby tables.

"No!" Iroh denied. Then he paused to think about it. "Though, if I was a fair bit younger, she'd definitely be my type." He shook his head. "I mean human relationships. The way of interacting with people."

"That? I'm very proficient in formal etiquette," Guiche boasted. "Especially when it comes to ladies."

Iroh tapped the side of his head with a finger, making a show of pondering. "I seem to recall a very recent incident involving two particularly incensed young ladies."

"That was an exception!"

A raised eyebrow was all Iroh needed to deflate Guiche once again. "Maybe I still need some work in that area," Guiche admitted.

"Good," said Iroh with a nod. "Now that we have acknowledged the problem, we can try to solve it." He leaned forward. "Mister Guiche, do you know how to interact with ladies? Specifically, without trying to seduce them?"

"Of course I can. If a lady catches my eye, I never fail to shower them in compliments."

"And if they don't catch your eye?"

"Well, of course I pay them the necessary amount of respect."

"And there lies one of your problems," Iroh pointed out. "You rather barely attention to a girl, or you make her feel like a princess. If you continue to act like that, you'll get a reputation as a playboy who only toys the hearts of vulnerable, innocent maidens." Seeing Guiche guiltily glance to the side, Iroh sighed. "Well, we're not at a great starting point, but it should be fine. Your reputation is still salvageable."

"Really?"

"You haven't done anything worse, have you?"

"Of course not!" Guiche denied. "I'm a perfect gentleman, unlike some students in this academy."

Iroh made a mental note to not be around the student dorms at any point in the night. "In that case, your first step should be learning moderation," he instructed Guiche. "Divide your attention more equally between to your company, and save your lavish praises for when you really mean it."

"But I always mean what I say!"

"Then you loved both of those girls equally?" Iroh challenged him. "You didn't make any distinction between them when you were addressing them."

"I couldn't play favorites," Guiche offered weakly.

Iroh shook his head. "Even if you love both of those girls, I doubt you love them in the same capacity," he said knowingly. "Lying to them doesn't help, as you've seen. If you truly value those girls, you should deal with them honestly. Make your intentions plain. If you can't decide yet, then take your time. You're young, and have many years left to make your decision. Once you are ready to commit yourself, then you can serenade under a waterfall by the light of the setting sun. Or whatever else you have planned. Get creative."

Guiche was still for a moment, a thoughtful look on his face. "Yes, I see," said Guiche as he stood up. He gave a formal bow to Iroh. "Your wisdom has opened my eyes, Mister Iroh. Thank you."

"You are very welcome, Mister Guiche," said Iroh. "And please, just call me Iroh. I hold no noble title in this land, I'm merely a tutor."

"Truly?"

Iroh nodded. "I needed something to do after being summoned here, and Louise looked like she could use a mentor who thought outside of the box," he said. "I believe she is a bright and capable girl, and I will do her best to help her achieve her full potential."

"I see," said Guiche despondently. "I suppose she has claimed your time then."

Seeing Guiche looked like a kicked puppy, Iroh couldn't help but offer a metaphorical hand. "I am not so busy I cannot offer help to others," said Iroh. "I will be living in the Fire Tower for the time being. Drop by if you need anything."

Guiche face brightened. "I will," he vowed. "For under your tutelage, I will finally understand the way of a girl's heart."

Iroh stared blankly as Guiche strolled away, bathed in triumphant glory. "The way of a girl's heart?" Iroh echoed skeptically. "I offer advice, not miracles."

And that was how Iroh—unwittingly—acquired his second student in Halkegenia.

When I was a kid, I knew Iroh flirted. But upon rewatching some clips, this guy has more charisma than a level 20 D&D Bard. It would be a crime for Guiche to not want to acquire Iroh's ladykiller techniques. Also, I couldn't see Guiche challenging Iroh to a duel. Remember, Iroh's old, and he gives the impression of being a noble, albeit a strange one.

Since Iroh's a mentor instead of a typical protagonist, the format of this story will be a little different. To kick things off, I'm having him interact with a few more of the other characters before the action events start. I think Fouquet's theft will take place in chapter 5, but that's subject to change depending on the flow of the story.

Now for the final results of the last poll (across all platforms):

1st. Louise Summons the Dragon of the West (Iroh) – 262 Votes

2nd. Louise Summons the King of Heroes (Gilgamesh) – 188 Votes

3rd. Louise Summons a Cute, Fluffy, Alien Experiment (Stitch) NEW – 175 Votes

4th. Louise Summons the Last Airbender (Aang) – 174 Votes

5th. Louise Summons a Pokemon Trainer (Ash Ketchum) – 93 Votes

6th. Louise Summons the American Dragon (Jake Long) NEW – 84 Votes

7th. Louise Summons an Omnitrix Wielder (Ben) NEW – 75 Votes

Last. Louise Summons a Half Andalite (Tobias) – 66 Votes

I knew Iroh was going to be popular, but he clearly dominated the competition. Gilgamesh's placement surprised me. I didn't explain the royal arse-pain to be so popular. The two hardest characters I'm writing right now got the top spots... I guess suffering is a part of an author's life. Stitch seizing third place over Aang was a surprising upset. Ash got a little higher than I expected. I'm surprised Jake beat out Ben in this poll (given how thrashed he was in the previous one). Tobias coming in last places comes as no surprise, since Animorphs is less well known compared to everyone else.

As per the results, I'm going to be focusing on Iroh, Gil, and Aang. Gilgamesh and Iroh are harder to write (as much as I like Iroh), so bi-monthly is the best I can do. Aang's story is easier to write, so I'm going to see if I can get him back on a monthly rotation. Next month I'll see how it goes.

Also, Louise Summons a Cute, Fluffy, Alien Experiment is coming up next, here on Disney Channel! I mean Fanfiction, totally Fanfiction! It's almost done, so should be able to get it finished by the 31st!

I have a Poll on my Ko-Fi to determine my next one-shot (RainEStar is the tag). Toss a dollar or two and help decide what comes next!

Writing this chapter was a blast, so I hope you all enjoyed it as well. And remember, reviews are food for a writer's soul!