Chapter 5: The Counter-Storming of the Sky Fleet

After another planet, I landed on the one from the Sky Station Galaxy's icon, the sorta-cylindrical one that was missing most of its surface, if it was supposed to be a complete cylinder, and for some strange reason had a propeller on its front. Why was there a propeller on the front of this planet - it doesn't look like it's moving or anything. Can it move, though? Is it some sort of spaceship?

And, lucky me, several Banzai Bill Cannons were sprouting from the top of the planet, to the side of where I was. I leapt past one Banzai Bill, and then saw that in front of the next Cannon was more slime/Luma poop. But there aren't any Lumas around here! Wait a minute...is this "slime" Banzai Bill vomit?! The "slime" is right under where their mouths are when they peek out of the Cannon, after all. As gross as that thought is, I'll take it over Luma poop any day.

I long-jumped over the puddle of filth, and then I saw a Power Star...sorta. It was past another Banzai Bill...and in a cage. Why is so much stuff in this level caged? Well, let's go into Detective Mode and start ruling out culprits. The keys are never held by villains like Banzai Bills who come out of somewhere, vanish/explode, and then another identical one replaces them. Although, one of the Green Stars in King Ka-Thunk's Castle from Super Mario 3D World was inside every other Ka-Thunk that fell down a cliffside, so... Obviously there was some other enemy holding the key, and the only place for me to go next was down a path that the third Banzai Bill flew down too.

So, after a Banzai Bill had launched down the path, I headed down it too, staying far away from the flames propelling the Banzai Bill along. People think hitting that doesn't hurt. It does. At the end of the path was a wider area leading up to a cliff against which the Banzai Bill I was chasing exploded. To my side was a pole to reach the top of the cliff, so I climbed it, and when I reached the top I almost fainted. Waiting for me was a huge Piranha Plant with a black head with orange spikes on it, and yellow spikes on its stem. It looked like the spawn of a Prickly Piranha Plant and the Devil.

As soon as it saw me, the thing's mouth started watering (or maybe foaming - oh gosh, I hope it wasn't rabid!) - and its head came crashing down towards me. I leapt aside, and then used one of the two Stretch Plants on the clifftop to smack the Devil Piranha. Suddenly, it exploded and left behind the key I needed! Yippee! I grabbed it, and the cage around the Power Star vanished. I then made it back down the Banzai Bill path, using several ditches in the path to dodge incoming Banzai Bills. Then I grabbed the Power Star, completing the mission.

When I arrived back on Starship Mario, the clock read 10:43A.M., and you're not gonna believe what Lubba said. He exclaimed, "Way to go, cap'n! You got another Star! But now I'm feeling so...sleepy..."

I couldn't believe it - again?! "Why are you sleepy so often?!" I shouted.

He moan-yawned, "Purple Lumas are...sleepy...by nature..."

12. Gives ridiculous excuses.

I rolled my eyes and debated whether or not to go to the volcano galaxy today or not, but suddenly Starship Mario jolted and I faceplanted on the ground. Lubba floated around, then went to right himself but somehow got his intergluteal cleft stuck on one of the steering wheel's prongs. "AAH!" he shouted. "A SUPPOSITORY! NOT A SUPPOSITORY! WHERE THE HECK DID THIS SUPPOSITORY COME FROM?!"

I hesitate to hold his "suppositoriphobia" against him as Item #13, given that I am deathly terrified of them too.

I peered over Starship Mario's cap to see...oh come on! The Propeller Planet had somehow followed us into orbit of the galaxy and was shooting not Banzai Bills, but Bull's-Eye Banzais. What the flippin' gosh dang nonsense garbage-hole liar what the FLIP?! How was it shooting these menaces now - furthermore, why were they so much better at targeting than they were in New Super Mario Bros. Wii?

I grabbed the steering wheel and spun it around, unintentionally dragging Lubba's head along the floor of the helm. Starship Mario jetted away from the Propeller Planet, but then another Bull's-Eye Banzai detonated on its thrusters. The flow of weird rainbow dust they squirted petered out, then stopped altogether. Lubba was either speechless or unconscious, but I screamed, "AAH! WE'RE GONNA DIE!" The Starship plummeted back towards the Sky Station Galaxy, but then the engines miraculously fired back up. I swung the spaceship in a wide U-turn, headed back towards the Propeller Planet.

The Propeller Planet sped at me too, but I steered Starship Mario under it at the last second. While doing so, I noticed that that gosh dang Devil Piranha was somehow alive and slobbering all over once again. Once Starship Mario emerged behind the planet, I saw a huge ground-pound symbol on the back of it. What in all heck was this garbage?! How the heck could someone possibly ground-pound the inaccessible backside of a planet?! But that gave me an idea...

I flew Starship Mario right at it. The Starship bounced off it, but the planet was blasted apart. Yay! So I guess that was supposed to be the Sky Fleet - was that meant to happen? Was I supposed to be pitted against those psychopaths after getting the Power Star or did the Banzai Bills/Bull's-Eye Banzais and Devil Piranha just want vengeance? Oh, who cares, this day had been so absurd, I didn't feel like even thinking about it anymore.

But then I remembered about Lubba. Consequently, I spent the next half an hour trying to free Lubba from the steering wheel. After that horrible experience, I scoured Starship Mario for a memory eraser. Sadly, I found none.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed it - feel free to leave a review, or even suggest some absurd thing you'd like to see happen at some point. Next up: a dilemma, "Saddle up with Yoshi," and "Digga-Leg's Planet"!