A/N - Rated M for adult themes and violence.

My time in Dauntless was slowly coming to a close, I have only two days left here and I was dreading having to leave. I had grown attached to the people, the place, everything about it felt like it had a place in my life.

The day after being with Eric, I woke that morning with his arm around my middle while he breathed heavily behind me. It was still early because the sun wasn't even up yet as I could see out the small opening in the dark fabrics that covered the windows, I'd only come to really think about what it is Eric and I were actually doing. It could easily be just a thing we have if I'm in Dauntless and nothing more, even though that wasn't exactly me. But I couldn't think it to be any more than that without hearing it from him first, he was in Dauntless and I was in Erudite. People had been known to form outer factional relationships and it never worked, it was against our cities way of life.

Considering how Eric was bought up, Faction before Blood, I half expected him to just push me out of his bed and tell me this was a one nighter and that it would never happen again but he's shown none of that. Especially when he took me to see Harrison, his idea wasn't great by any means. I don't think Jeanine would go for it. He wanted to write a letter of recommendation to Erudite that I be appointed Liaison to each of the factions because of my 'hard work and dedication' during my time in Dauntless and was willing to have it signed off by each of the other factions leaders. Which would have me out of Erudite more than in it. He assured by me after my concerns that it could work out in my favour, I had more than one concern though.

The first was that it could potentially make me the biggest target for people deflecting against the faction system and against Erudite and Jeanine with the factionless, I would need a 24 hour security detail wherever I went. It also meant that I would be liaising with each of the faction leaders, one of those was my father who I hadn't seen since choosing day. Even when we had visiting day where everyone's families could see their children in their new faction, he didn't come. Not that I expected him to, but it still stung. Especially when I had to watch everyone else be reunited with their parents, I was left standing to the side until I'd had enough and left.

It was a good plan if it worked, the only person I had standing in my way though was Jeanine. She would still want me to maintain my allegiance with Erudite and I would still have to go through the same mandatory testing as any of the other initiates to secure my place in Erudite, there is still a chance I could become factionless if I wasn't deemed smart enough to be there. I didn't consider myself dumb by any means but I just didn't know if I was Erudite smart. Only time would tell.

Even though I didn't know Harrison that well, he still said he would help me. He was all for keeping Dauntless separated from Erudite, which is why he agreed to help me via Eric's request. It was then that I'd learnt he was also helping Eric, Eric's deal with Jeanine was pretty solid and a lot messier than my situation. He was already doing his part by distancing himself from Jeanine and letting Max take the reins, but then he also had to do as Max tells him. If Divergents is what Jeanine wants, then that's what she'll get.

Max was unaware of Eric's desire to want to cut ties with Erudite, he'd bought it up to Max on a couple of occasions but Jeanine's pull was strong. Which is why Max had taken over, suggesting that Eric take a breather which is why his focus was on the factionless rather than Jeanine's bidding. Which is also why Max was the only one willing to talk to me when I'd walk into the office in the mornings. I'd found all this information out through Harrison, not Eric. Turns out Eric's shell was very hard to crack, I'd literally only just scratched the surface by sharing a bed with him.

Which was my other dilemma. He'd only share bits and pieces with me when I prompted him, I'd learnt more about him from what others have told me but I can't rely solely on what others say. I want to know more but I can't really talk, I haven't exactly shared much about myself to him that isn't already known. The only real concern he knows I have is with Jeanine. He doesn't know about my concerns about what will happen with us when I leave, or at least I think he doesn't. He hasn't expressed that he feels the same, only that he wants to help. I've been assuming he knows more about me from what he's heard as well but he hasn't asked me anything, not that I think he doesn't want to know. I think it's more of his personality than anything, he doesn't want to let people in and I get it. I do. It just would be nice to hear more about him, from him. Especially now that I'm sharing a bed with him.

I'd also spoken to my brother that very same day I saw Harrison, he was assisting with training for the fear landscapes but he wanted to still meet for lunch and we did. We ate lunch together outside on the roof in Dauntless, it was nice to catch a few rays of sunshine before the skies would turn completely grey for winter and it was nice to talk to him with just us two without any distraction or influence from other people. I reluctantly told him about Harrison's idea and he was surprisingly on board as well, I didn't think he would be but he did tell me it would be a chance for me to be able to come back here and it'd give me more freedom. I was slowly coming around to the idea.

"This is not a small gathering Christina!" I stare wide eyed out to the sea of people swarming the Pitt, Christina had convinced me to come join her and Tris for a small gathering to say goodbye since I was leaving in two days. She had told me it was going to be a small group of people that I knew, by the looks of it though, she had invited literally the entire faction. There were people covering every square inch of the space and my stomach dropped at the sight of it all, there was loud rock music playing in the background and people were dancing and drinking, it was full fledged Dauntless party.

Now it was obvious why Christina had also convinced me to come with her to the small group of shops they had here in Dauntless to purchase an outfit, I didn't mind the occasional skirt but the dress I was wearing was not something I'd typically pick. It was black and tight fitting with small thin straps and a lacy floral design, the dress came to my mid thigh and I felt insanely exposed. It was very Dauntless, I'd questioned why I couldn't just wear the clothes I had but she insisted on it and purchased it for me with her credits. She did try and persuade me to try on the enormous heeled shoes she'd picked out but I'd never worn heels in my life and I wasn't about to go traipsing around Dauntless, where the ground is uneven everywhere, in high shoes so I'd settled for my black flats. She went for it but did express how my outfit would've looked better with the heels.

"It's small-ish" She yells over the loud cavernous room, "Besides not everyone even knows it's for you. I saw an opportunity to throw a party so I took it in stride."

"Sorry Allie, I tried to stop her but turns out she can be very persuasive", Tris tells me sheepishly as she just laughs as I smack her on the arm.

"You are in on this too?", She just shrugs and gives me her biggest sorry smile.

"If I have to endure this, I'm going to need a drink." I give in, I know there is no way now that I'm all dressed up with my brunette hair hanging loosely over my shoulders and down my bare back, that she will let me pull out. I know I swore off drinking again but I think I'll need to stay sane with the amount of people swarming the area.

"I thought you'd never ask" She whoops loudly as she grabs my hand and I reach and grab Tris' other hand, she's leading us through the sea of black and I pull along Tris as well, to where they were serving alcohol from big kegs that read property of Amity. How she managed to organise all this is beyond me but it did occur to me that they probably do this often, so it was only new to me. She filled three cups and handed one to each of us before she raises her cup, "To Allie" she yells at the top of her lungs and the whole pit roars "TO ALLIE" and to my surprise they all cheer but I'm guessing no one even knows who I am because no one even looks at me. With what I'm wearing, I blend in and for that I was grateful. But it doesn't stop the embarrassment spreading to my face as my cheeks heat up.

"I hate you!" She just laughs and all three of us clink our cups together before taking a big mouthful, it wasn't the same as I had at the bar that night. This was different, not as potent and a little bubbly but not horrible, I could deal with that.

The party raged on well into the night, it only seemed to get rowdier as time went on and people got more drunk. I'd managed to stay mostly undetected by the members of Dauntless flooding the pit, a few people I did know found me and wished me well going back to Erudite. It was a somber feeling, knowing that in two days I'll be leaving here and having people say goodbye just made it feel all too real. I tried my hardest not to let it get me down, the alcohol coursing through me helped a little. I wasn't as drunk as the first time but I was definitely feeling looser, more relaxed.

Christina had completely abandoned Tris and I, she just up and left about a half hour ago. Tris and I managed to make our way to where everyone was dancing, she wasn't overly thrilled with the idea but I could see her normal facade slipping and actually enjoying herself. Her usual seriousness was replaced with laughing and a big smile, which was a welcome sight.

I was currently twirling Tris around when arms find my waist and I'm picked up off the ground and swung around a few times, how I managed not to kick anyone was a mystery, before my feet land back on the ground.

I turn to see who it was and I'm surprised and glad that it was just Jeremy, "There's the girl of the night. I've been looking for you!".

"You have?" I didn't mean to sound shocked but I was, I'd only spoken to him a couple times so my surprise was evident.

"I had to come see the guest of honour before she heads back to Tinseltown. That's Erudite, by the way. You're looking hot tonight, damn girl." He whistles, making my cheeks burn as he rambles.

"I guessed as much and thanks", I laugh and I give a small wave to Nathan whose standing just a little behind his brother. "Where's Eric?" I only ask because I haven't seen him for the most part of the afternoon, he was busy working and I only told him I was going out through text. He responded with a very plain 'Okay' and that was that, I'd gotten ready to come here with Christina at his apartment but he wasn't there by the time we'd left.

"He's around here somewhere, oh wait.. here he comes". I turn expectantly, and I'm met with dark grey eyes as he roams the length of my body. His gaze making me feel small but flattering as I watch him bite at his bottom lip as he approaches, he's out of his leaders jacket and the short sleeved shirt makes him look more casual and I smile as he reaches me.

"Nice dress" He says lowly and I have to bite back the huge grin that's trying to escape, his eyes are looking everywhere but at my face and I feel insanely warm.

"Thanks, Christina got it for me. It's a little short." I say trying to pull the hem down a little, it doesn't budge.

"It looks good," he trails off as his hand finds my hip and I'm pulled a little closer, I look around nervously that people might see but no one is paying attention. Jeremy and Nathan are talking with Tris and they don't look in our direction. He leans in close to me, his mouth at my ear "You look fucking hot". His words make my legs go weak and I rest my hands on the front of his shirt for support, he smirks at my reaction as he leans back up and I'm surprised when he takes my hand in his. It's big and rough and covers mine completely, he's never really grabbed my hand and I'm taken aback because it's very public which is unlike him but he doesn't seem to care.

He pulls me along and I briefly lock eyes with Tris, she's seen who is dragging me away and her eyes are as big as saucers. I try to smile at her the best I can, not able to give her much of an explanation while Eric pulls me along. As soon as we are out of the pit, he pulls me down a long dark narrow pathway and spins me instantly so my back is against the hard rock and he is on me without any warning. His mouth crashing into mine so fiercely, I don't even get to catch my breath. His hands grab my face first, then onto my breasts and I struggle to maintain my composure as his hands grab and squeeze. When my tongue hits his, it tastes like fresh mint and bourbon. Which would explain why he had no worry if anyone saw us because if anyone did come down the hallway and squint enough, they would see.

"Eric.." I moan as his mouth attacks at my jaw, "Someone might see us.." I place a hand at the back of his head as my whole world spins. The feeling of his mouth on my skin, the thought of possibly getting caught, it was a thrill. A thrill I've never experienced before and it makes me light headed.

"So? Fucking let them see. I want you, here, now." He growls against the raw flesh of my neck and I'm panting so hard. My arms circle his broad shoulders as I'm raised in the air with large hands on my ass, holding me up, my legs circle his hips as he pushes himself against me through the fabric of his pants and I bite back a moan. I can hear cheering echoing down the dark hallway, coming from the pit and I'm in a haze as he pins me there with his hips. He holds me up with one arm and the weight of his body while he fumbles do undo his pants, my heart is in my throat as I look frantically around to make sure no one is coming this way.

He doesn't drop his pants but quite literally frees himself from them and he moves his hand between my legs, moving the thin fabric aside and wastes no time as he pushes himself into me and I'm gasping for air at the sudden fullness of him. Both hands now rest on my ass as he none too gently drives himself into me and I'm left gasping as the rocks behind me scrape against my back, never in my wildest of dreams would I picture myself in such an intimate act in such a public space. It's not something I would have fantasised about but I can certainly see the appeal.

He's moaning and grunting with his head down against my shoulder, his hips moving against mine a lot sloppier than what I'm used to with my fingers digging into his shoulders. He pulls his head back and I struggle to see him in the dark but I do see him and his face is full of pure ecstasy, his mouth parted as he looks at me through hooded eyes. I can feel the warmth of his breath as he pants in my face, I lean forward and take his lip between my teeth as his hips rock harder against mine.

My world explodes as it only takes him a couple more thrusts till fireworks dance in front of my eyes and my stomach muscles contract in delight as my release finds me, he traps my mouth with his as he uses his hands to make my hips meet his roughly. His hips are moving unevenly now as he too reaches his limit, it's quicker than I'm used to but I'm okay with this as he explodes within me and my legs tighten around him as his thrusts slow.

He pulls back from my mouth, still holding me against the wall as I pant roughly trying to catch my breath. "What-What bought that on?" I gasp when he eventually pulls from me and slowly places my feet back on the ground, they're weak and wobbly and I have to remain holding him in fear of stumbling over.

He's still breathing heavily but he just laughs and I inwardly smile at the sound, "I saw you dancing in that little black dress and I couldn't resist, I hope you wear it more often!". His words make my cheeks heat up, it's like every time I'm with him I feel like we're right back to the first time I was with him and I'm left feeling giddy and nervous all over again.

"Well I promise I'll wear it, even if it is just for your eyes only." I lean up on the tips of my toes and he meets me half way as his lips smack against mine, his hand moving into the back of my hair as he holds me in place.

"Yes" He groans as he pulls back, "Let's get you back to your party before someone starts wondering where you went".

He reluctantly pulls away from me and I'm left to fix my hair by combing my fingers through it and straightening my dress down while he fastens up the belt on his pants, he doesn't quite step away as he eyes my shoulder and I look down to the purple mark. "You might want to cover that up" he smirks, very proud of himself and I just roll my eyes.

"With what exactly? No, let them see." I smirk back, knowing I'm playing with fire as I copy his mantra from earlier.

He just shrugs, not caring in the slightest and I'm loving this looser version of him. He moves an arm behind me as we walk back to the pit together, he lets me guide the way through the crowd, we grab a couple drinks on the way through till we're back to where we were and Jeremy and Nathan were still there but next to Jeremy hanging off his shoulder was a tall skinny blonde girl with bright pink highlights and piercings lining up the side of her ear from top to bottom.

"There you two are! We thought you fell into the chasm!" I just laugh at Jeremy, he's looking at us suggestively like he knows exactly where we were and what we were doing. I feel the burn in my cheeks as Eric's hand presses against the small of my back, pushing into the fabric. He doesn't quite have his arm around me, but the close proximity of him next to me doesn't go unnoticed. Jeremy then turns to the girl hanging off of him and gestures to her, "This is my woman, Kelly".

"Stop telling people I'm your woman, it sounds .. odd." She hits him on the chest and she extends her hand out to me, "I'm his girlfriend, Kelly. I've heard a lot about you."

I shake her hand politely but I'm taken aback by her words, "You have? Hopefully nothing bad?" I laugh nervously and look to Eric for answers but he just eyes me as he takes a drink from his cup.

"Of course not, Jeremy did say you were good looking and I love that dress. Dauntless suits you, I'm sure Eric here will be miserable once you go back to Erudite." I chew on my bottom lip as I nod, it's still something we haven't talked about and it's been at the back of my mind as the days get shorter and shorter towards my departure. I still didn't know what we were or if it's something he wants. He stays quiet beside me but his free hand never drops from my back. Jeremy knows more than what I think he does if Kelly is openly talking about us as if we were a thing, there's only one person here that could have told him anything and he's choosing now to be perfectly quiet about it but he also doesn't deny her claims and I have a feeling the topic will be bought up now or at the very least, soon.

I get separated from Eric when he needs to go to the bathroom, that was ten minutes ago, Nathan had already disappeared before Kelly dragged Jeremy away very seductively and I don't need to wonder where they were going off to do. So that left me to my own devices, I did see Christina earlier making out with someone I don't know. I was surprisingly having a better night than I thought I would have. I dreaded the attention, but I was glad no one really cared who I was or what the party was for.

I'd wondered over to one of the burning barrels to try and warm up and so I could look out and see if I could spot Eric, I still couldn't find him. I feel an arm circle my waist and I smile thinking it might be Eric but when I look down to the arm and there is no tattoo, I panic as I pull away from the person to see Kyle standing there with a grimace. He looked like hell and like he'd had one too many drinks, I guess working the fence hadn't fared him well.

"Kyle? What're you doing?" I snap at him and take a step back.

"I came to see the prettiest girl here, I heard you're leaving. I thought I'd give you a proper goodbye since I haven't had a chance to see you." He reaches for my waist again trying to pull me towards him but I push his hand away.

"Kyle, you're drunk. You should go sleep it off or something." I take a step away, something doesn't feel right with the way he's looking at me. "I should go", I go to walk off but his hand wraps around my wrist tightly as he pulls me back to him.

"Why? So you can go back to him? I told him I liked you and he transferred me to the fucking fence." His voice is laced with venom as I'm pulled against his chest, I try to push him off of me but it's hard with one hand as the other is held against his front in a vice. My fight or flight instincts start to kick in, as his lips are pulled into a snarl.

"Kyle don't, don't do this. I had nothing to do with that. You just need to go back to your room, sleep it off and we can talk civilly about this okay." I panic trying to reason with him, hoping on whatever deity that he actually listens. I look around but no one is paying attention to us, they're distracted doing their own thing and we were slightly to the back of the room where no one was really close enough to hear us.

"You might think he holds the crown around here but he doesn't and you aren't his property to keep. If I can't have you, why should anyone else." He starts pulling me, my feet dragging a little over the stone floor. I fight back against him by pushing his chest as my panic increases but he doesn't budge, I can see where he's dragging me as we near the chasm. The whooshing of the water flowing under the rocks and disappearing, he's much stronger than anticipated but he's sloppy and he stumbles over his own feet and I take the opportunity as his grip loosens and I go to take off in the other direction but he grabs around me around my middle holding both hands to my front.

To anyone who was watching would just think maybe we were dancing until I let out a shriek as he drags me back, "Kyle. That's enough please, just let go and we can talk." He doesn't and I contemplate my options, he's holding me so close and the breath on my neck is making my stomach churn. I'd had about enough and there was no way I was going to let his infatuation with me be the cause of my demise, so I rear my head back as hard as I can into his face and he finally lets go, I spin on my heel to look at Kyle and I see blood dripping from his nose and now the edges of the crowd are staring. His eyes flash with an anger I'd never seen or witnessed on anyone before, he comes for me again but stops suddenly when Eric appears through the crowd. His steel grey eyes are dark and furious, "Are you okay?" He stops and checks me first, his eyes searching for any sign of harm. I look at him with big eyes, I'm not but it could be worse so I nod.

As he turns, Kyle's reaction to Eric being here fuels him and he lunges for Eric, punching him square in the face so hard I swear I can feel it from where I stand but Eric barely moves but his reaction is instant. Kyle realises his mistake when Eric tackles him to the ground and the crowd is now going crazy as the two fight each other right in front of me, I don't know what to do as I watch on and no one steps in either.

Kyle is good but Eric is better, stronger and more precise. His fists land quickly as Kyle tries to regain his losing battle by tackling Eric to the ground and he's punching him in the stomach, "Stop" I shriek out feeling completely helpless. I startle when a hand grabs my wrist and pulls me back, I look to it's owner and it's Tris, she's watching on in horror as Eric knocks Kyle to the ground beside him and he's on him punching him in the face and I swear I can hear bones crack as the crowd grows bigger and roars with excitement. I don't have to wonder to know that a fight here is nothing out of the ordinary. Relief washes over me as the crowd starts parting as Harrison, Max, Jeremy, Nathan and a few others come into view as they barge through to break up the fight. It takes three of them to pull Eric back and away from Kyle who was knelt on the ground, coughing and spitting up blood.

"What in the fuck is going on?" Max's shrill voice breaks through the noise and the crowd dies down considerably and the music is shut off, "Party is over, everyone out!" He shouts, he sounds pissed.

"Come on Allie" Tris tries to pull me along to come with her but I shake my head, loosening her hand from my wrist as I plant my feet into the ground.

"I'm staying.."

"Allie.." she tries to protest but I shake my head again.

The room becomes silent as everyone starts to leave, Tris doesn't quite leave but she does stand back and is joined by Four as he watches on, wondering what the hell happened. Eric is still struggling against the guys holding him back and I look to his face, he doesn't look as bad as Kyle but he does have blood on his face from a split lip and a welt underneath his eye which has split open. I don't know what to do apart from go to him as Max goes to Kyle on the ground and helps him stand with the assistance of Jeremy. Eric pulls his arms free from the three holding him and he stops and looks at me as I step in front of him, a hand on his front "Enough, he's down. I'm fine, it's fine."

He's looking at me as he regains control of himself, he spits a glob of blood to the side but I can see he is slowly calming. "It's not fucking fine," or maybe he wasn't, "He fucking attacked you, that is not fine."

"Is this true?" Max asks and I turn to him, I don't want to be the cause of whatever happens to Kyle but he did attack me and if no one was around he may have tried to do something worse, so I nod slowly as I look to Kyle whose bloody and bruised.

Kyle just laughs as Max uses a firm hand and pushes him to his knees on the ground, there is no humour in his laugh, it's filled with venom and he actually sounds a little crazy. This wasn't like him, he was nice enough in the beginning but then again, I didn't really know him but this seems completely out of character. The consequences for going up against a leader would most likely result in the worst of all punishment and he out of all people would know that, so it didn't make sense he would be that stupid. "I would've gotten you to myself eventually, it's only a matter of time before Eric fucks up and you realise I'm the better option".

I'm left staring at Kyle as he just smiles, no remorse or regret from his actions, his words bitter and devoid of any emotion for what he tried to do. Things seem to slow as I watch Eric move from the corner of my eye as he walks past Harrison, he pulls Harrison's gun that's sitting in the back of his pants rather than in its holster and draws the weapon at Kyle with it pointing directly at his head. Kyle goes to speak but Eric doesn't wait to listen, he pulls the trigger and my hands fly up to my mouth with a shriek. I watch in complete horror as his lifeless body falls to the stone beneath him as blood pools around the back of his head, I'm shaking when Eric hands the gun back to Harrison's awaiting hand. Harrison doesn't look pissed but it's clear he's unhappy with the turn of events.

Rough hands find my face as I'm unable to tear my eyes away from Kyle's lifeless form on the ground, I'm forced to turn my head and I'm met with steel grey, his expression has softened as concern washes over him as my body shakes at the sight in front of me. I'm pulled against him as his arms wrap around me, I'm forced to watch as Kyle's body gets dragged from the pit. I can hear Max yelling at orders at people but I don't quite hear what it is he's saying. He comes over to us as Eric holds my head against his hard chest and I will myself to just shut my watering eyes, "I want a full statement on my desk by the morning from you and Allie about what the fuck just happened". He stalks back off and Eric just starts leading me away from the pit under the crook of his arm, holding me tightly against him and I lean in for support. I'd never been a witness to someone dying in front of me, i can only hope to never again.

By the time we get back to Eric's room, I don't even realise the time. The night crept away from me, it was a little past one in the morning and I could barely keep my eyes open when we walk through the door. The trek back to his room was quiet, he didn't say anything and neither did I. I was still in shock over what happened, I replay it over and over in my mind even as I slip off my shoes by the door. I don't even realise Eric's talking to me till his hand finds my chin, making me look at him. "Allie?" I look at him now, it's the same look he gave me in the pit. Worried and full of concern.

"I'm sorry, I spaced." I shake my head, he still holds me in place though.

"You know I had to do it, right?" His eyes search mine and I'm conflicted, I want to look away and climb into a hole but at the same time I want nothing more than his arms around me while he cradles me to his strong hard chest till I forget his lifeless face.

I nod but he doesn't look convinced, he lets go of my face and steps back a bit running a hand through his tussled hair.

"I was looking out for you, I was protecting you. If I didn't, he would keep coming back for you. I don't know.. what I would do if something happened to you, again. What was I supposed to do?", for the second time tonight I'm shocked but this time it's his confession and he knows it too, his hand runs over the length of his face.

"Will you get in trouble?", my voice sounds small in the big apartment.

"No", he shakes his head as he stops and leans back so he's leaning on the back of the couch with his arms crossed over his chest. "I've done a lot worse for a lot less and I'm still here." I don't know what else could be worse but I take his word for it and nod slowly.

"What are we doing?" I ask, I know now is definitely not the right time for this but after everything I have to know.

"You want to do this now?" He sounds genuinely curious, there's no fight in him as he looks at me with raised eyebrows, his question is genuine.

"Yes, I'm leaving technically tomorrow morning. I need to know, what are we doing? What happens when I go?".

"Why do you need to know so badly? Why do we have to label it?".

I step closer to him now till I'm directly in front of him, I fold my arms in front of me to try and stop the shake that has never really subsided. "Because we haven't talked about it at all?" He sighs as he reaches for me, his hands on my arms that are still folded in front of me.

"Fine, fuck." He stands abruptly, no longer leaning back on the couch as he towers over me but I don't back down. I hold my ground as I watch him, the chinks in his armour slowly fading. "Yes I feel something for you, why do you have to hear me say it?".

"Because I do too and I don't want to be left in the dark when I go back to Erudite, I just need something from you. Anything. I thought I was fine with it, with no label but I'm not. We barely talk like this and you've looked out for me when it wasn't your job to do that then you go and kill someone because he tried to kill me, you don't do those things for someone you feel nothing for. I just needed to hear it from you, I'm sick of getting second hand information from people. I want you, I want all of this and I want all of you not just parts of you. What do you want Eric? I'm dying to know." My words come out hard and fast, it's like word vomit. Everything that's been happening and every thought that's been going on inside my head, laid out on the floor for him to see and hear. I'm not afraid or worried when he rears back taking a deep breath, I know he isn't used to this. Used to someone caring for him, it's evident in his body language as he paces away from me.

"What if I can't give you that? What if I can't give you what you want?"

"Then I'll walk away and I won't ask questions. But if you want me to wait, I'll wait for you" I'm still shaking by this point, I don't know whether it's because I'm still in shock or because I'm waiting for his answer while he wars with himself right in front of me. Pacing towards me then away before coming back to me, his hands moving to either side of my face and he has to duck his head so he's eye level with me.

I move my shaky hands to the tops of his on my face, my big eyes trained on his "I want you to wait". It's not a full confession by any means but it's there, he wants me to wait for him, that confession alone is enough. His breath is hot on my face as he pulls me into him, kissing me slow and I can do nothing but reciprocate as my rapidly beating heart nearly comes out my throat.

He hisses as he pulls away from me when my teeth graze his lip, he's bitting his busted lip into his mouth. I'd completely forgotten about that, "I'm sorry" my voice soft and he just looks at me amused. He removes his hands from my face and takes my still shaking hands in his, that same concerned expression still there. He doesn't say anything as he leads me to the ensuite in his room and he turns on the shower, we both undress without another word and I have to stop and stare at myself in the mirror with him standing next to me. I'm small and insignificant with him standing next to me, his muscles and wide stance flex when he notices me looking at his reflection and he stands straighter and taller making him seem even bigger and I realise this is a show that's just for me. In Abnegation we were taught to reject vanity but right now, I'm feeling a little vain as I stare at how we look together standing side by side. I don't know if he's thinking what I am but he pulls me with him into the awaiting shower.

We spend the next better half of the hour curled around each other in the shower under the warm water, with his mouth against my neck and my legs around his waist getting completely lost in each other as the events from tonight get washed down the drain although they don't completely fade. Memories of Kyle circle through my mind well into the night and into the early hours of the morning, then replaying the images of his lifeless body slumping to the ground. I couldn't sleep but I didn't move, I stayed curled into Eric's side as the warmth from his body kept me grounded. I am leaving tomorrow and I'm dreading even the thought.

A/N - That was a rollercoaster of a ride and much much different to the original chapter I had wrote up, the original chapter I first wrote didn't bode well with me which is why it's taken me a lot longer to write this one. It was a lot darker than this, with the two of them ending in bad terms. It was messy sloppy writing and didn't fit well with the dynamics of the main characters of the story. Now we see more of a side to Eric that I would have hoped to delay until further chapters but we see a lot of his reserved personality traits come to light. The next chapter will see Allie leaving Dauntless for I don't know how long as the story will progress, it's only just the beginning and I can't wait for more. Remember to follow, review and all that. Still looking for someone to help edit the story, so feel free to PM me. Much love, SJ xo