Chapter Two

Lean On Me

I was in the middle seat, between Simon and Negan as Simon drove us home. My mind wouldn't stop, my body couldn't quit moving. I was doing my damnedest to hold everything in until I got to our bedroom.

Colt was alive.

My fingers tapped the same spot on my knee over and over again as my eyes stared unseeing out the front window.

"Piper…" Negan said, sighing loudly, "You know that you don't have to stay with me, right? You're not a prisoner. If you want to go to Colt - "

"Please, shut up," I cut him off, keeping my eyes forward.

"Him being alive is a big fucking deal, wildflower. He's your brother and I don't want to come between you and him," Negan kept going, sadness making his voice low.

"Colt walked away from me. He got back into the lineup when I offered him protection. He told me that if he had to choose between his people and mine, he would choose them. Which means he wouldn't choose me. He's alive and he's with people who care about him. That has to be enough for me for now," I said, the tapping on my knee becoming almost painful.

Silence filled the truck.

"Those people are going to be a problem. I don't want Colt caught in the crossfire," Simon murmured.

"Colt is 'those people'. He's old enough now to make his own choices."

There was a war of feelings happening within me that I could barely keep below the surface. Sadness. Betrayal. Anger. Confusion. Relief that he was alive. All of it swirled inside me, making it hard to breathe occasionally. What I wanted more than anything was to just not think.

The rest of the ride was quiet. Negan didn't try to touch me, didn't try to console me. Simon even managed to keep his thoughts to himself.

We rolled through the gates slowly, the long line of various vehicles following us in. Once we were stopped, Negan hopped out of the truck and reached up to help me down. I ignored his hand, not to be malicious, but because I was afraid I would break if I had any prolonged contact with him.

I snatched my machete from the floorboard and jumped out on my own. Breezing past everyone, I altered course and started marching towards my little graveyard quickly.

Once I arrived, I made quick word of yanking Colt's cross from the ground and flinging it as hard as I could away from the area.

"Your son is a fucking asshole," I ground out to my parents crosses before taking back off towards the Sanctuary.

I made a beeline for our rooms, not stopping to talk to anyone. I needed to forget everything, at least for a bit.

Finally making it through the office door, my eyes landed on Negan, who was pulling his leather jacket off and throwing it across the couch. He turned to look at me, his eyes soft, but I didn't want soft right now. At some point on my walk over I had decided that Negan was the perfect person to kick everything else out of my head.

I crossed the room, dropping my machete to the ground, and threw myself at him, my lips on his, kissing hungrily. He let out a shocked grunt as his hands landed on my hips, gently pushing me back until there was a little space between our bodies. His mouth parted from mine.

"What're you doing, wildflower?" He asked, his eyes hooking on mine.

"I need you, Negan," I said, quickly pulling off my own jacket and t-shirt, "Please. Just make me forget for a little bit."

His eyes widened and I used his silence to unhook my bra, letting it fall to the floor.

I forced my mind to go blank and I wanted to keep it that way for the time being.

"Touch me," I whispered, looking up at him.

His eyebrows drew together for a moment as his eyes landed on the necklaces resting between my breasts. But then he quickly picked me up, slamming his lips to mine again. My legs wrapped around him tightly and my hands flew into his hair as he started walking us to the bedroom.

My back hit the bed as he threw me to it, a gasp leaving my throat. He pulled my jeans down and flung them to the floor before quickly undressing himself. I watched him as he crawled on top of me, his eyes taking on a predatory glint.

"You want to forget, baby?" He murmured, lining himself up with my entrance, spreading some of my wetness down his length.

I nodded my head frantically. I could feel my heartbeat in my throat as his eyes stared into my soul.

In one thrust he was inside me fully.

A moan fell from my mouth as pain speared through me, followed closely by pleasure. Negan gave me no time to adjust as he pulled out and thrust back into me brutally.

"This what you wanted, my sweet girl?" He growled, repeating the in and out motion.

My breath caught in my throat as I moaned out a faint 'yes' and wrapped my legs around him, digging my nails into his back.

He started a punishing rhythm as he placed his lips against my throat, sucking the soft skin into his mouth. I placed my hand on his chest and let one of my legs drift to the space behind his knees. I pushed and rolled us until I was on top of him.

"Oh, fuck, I love when you fucking do that," he grunted, grabbing on to my hips.

I sat up, placing a hand on the middle of his chest as my head fell back. He took up every available inch of space inside me, stretching me until it was all I could think about.

I started to move, bouncing up and down his length.

"You're so fucking beautiful," Negan breathed, his fingers grasping at me so hard that I knew I would have bruises later.

Every sensation was too much. His fingers grabbing at me, the way he stretched me, my clit grinding down on him when I let my body drop down his length. I kept going though, hell bent on keeping every real thought from my brain.

"Oh, fuck," I heard a deep mumble and my eyes snapped open to the door.

Simon and Dwight were standing there, staring at us, looking shocked. Simon had the good sense to look away, but Dwight's wide eyes locked on to mine for a moment.

"Get the fuck out," Negan barked and they started frantically back out the door.

I didn't stop, bouncing on him with a renewed vigor.

"Did getting caught on my dick excite you, doll?" Negan growled.

Our eyes connected and I felt that sweet tension in my stomach start to build.

"Yes," I moaned as one of my fingers found my clit and I started rubbing it desperately.

"You like that they saw how good I make you feel? How jealous they're going to be that I get to fuck this perfect pussy every fucking day?"

"Fuck, Neghan, yes," I moaned.

He took over, holding my hips still as he fucked up into me.

"Oh, fuck. Negan, I'm gonna come," I panted, my eyes snapping shut.

"Come for me, dirty girl," he grunted.

The orgasm hit me with all of the force of a freight train as I screamed his name, shattering around him. He followed quickly behind, shooting up into me with a groan.

I collapsed on top of him and his arms wrapped around me immediately as I tried to catch my breath. My fingers absentmindedly traced the tattoo on his chest as I tried to bring myself back to reality.

"I want to get a tattoo one day," I murmured.

Negan chuckled and I felt it rumble through my body.

"What would you get?"

"I don't know. Maybe some song lyrics on my wrist or something small," I responded, not putting much thought into what I was saying.

"Anything specific that you're wanting?"

"I think maybe, 'Some things are meant to be', or a little bundle of wildflowers" I mumbled.

Negan stilled for a second.

"Something that reminds me of you."

"You'd get something permanent on your body that reminded you of me?" He asked quietly.

A low laugh came from my mouth.

"Negan, we are as permanent as it gets. So yes, I'd do that."

He pressed a kiss to the top of my head.

Before I could stop myself or even decide if it was a good idea to bring it up, my mouth opened.

"Can I ask you a question?"

He hummed an affirmative.

"Before me, you had your 'wives', right?"

He paused, before saying, "Yes."

"And I know you were married to Lucille before everything."

"Where are you headed with this, wildflower?" He asked, his voice deepening.

I moved my head to face him, propping my chin up on his chest and looking into his eyes.

"You seem to like the idea of being married. Why haven't you asked me?"

His eyes widened slightly and his mouth parted. He didn't answer me for a few beats.

"Lucille was the only wife I've ever had. The only one that meant shit to me and if we're being honest, I wasn't a very good fucking husband to her. Not until the end, at least. The ones before you, they were a status thing. A power play. They hated me and I can't say that I genuinely gave a shit about them," he responded, his voice staying quiet.

I tilted my head slightly, waiting for him to finish.

"But when I met you… you were the first thing that had felt real to me in a very, very long time. You were the only person I've ever met that I didn't have a hard time admitting to my-damn-self that I cared about. It was the easiest thing in the fucking world with you, wildflower," he murmured, running a thumb over my lips, "All of this to say, I want to marry you, but I wanted you to know how fucking real it is for me. I didn't want you to think I was just doing it because I like the idea of just any marriage or because I wanted to keep you locked up. When I marry you, Piper, it's going to be every-fucking-thing to me."

His face was so sincere when he spoke to me, so soft, that I felt tears well up in my eyes. A crooked smile pulled up his lips.

"Why are you crying?"

"Because I love you. And sometimes you say things that remind me that everything that happened before was just a stepping stone to get me to you."

His lips crashed to mine and I realized, as it started to harden again, that I had never let his soft dick slip out of me. He flipped us, my legs locking around him to keep him connected to me. He hovered above me as he started to move again, keeping his eyes on mine.

He took it slow, murmuring sweet things into my ear, pulling out and pushing into me at a leisurely pace. The term 'made love' always sounded odd to me, but I understood it now, because that's exactly what we were doing.

I was fully present this time, not chasing a break from my thoughts.

Over an hour later, we finally pulled ourselves out of bed and got dressed. We still had things to do, though we both were running on no sleep. Deciding I wanted to be comfortable and didn't give a single fuck about what anyone thought, I pulled on some loose grey sweats that sat low on my hips and a black, baggy crop top that showed quite a bit of my stomach.

"I'm going to see what those two fucks wanted," Negan said, turning around to look at me after pulling his own clothes on, "Well, goddamn."

He slapped a hand over his heart and did his dramatic lean backwards.

"You are, without a fucking doubt, the most beautiful woman I've ever fucking seen."

I rolled my eyes and walked towards him, slipping my arms around his neck.

"You're insane. I'm in sweats, Negan."

"And not a single fucking human alive holds a candle to you," he grinned, leaning down and bumping his nose to mine.

"What're you buttering me up for?"

"Just stating facts, doll."

I rolled my eyes again and placed a quick kiss on his lips.

"You're okay, right?" He asked, placing a hand on my cheek.

I held his eyes for a moment. I wasn't in love with the idea of talking about what happened right now. I knew I needed to let it out at some point, but if I could just get through the day, I could have my breakdown at bedtime like a normal person.

"No, but I will be at some point, right?"

He nodded his head slowly.

"Right. Come to the office with me?"

"Not sure I can face those two now that they've seen quite literally everything I got happening under my clothes."

Negan chuckled darkly.

"Didn't seem to bother you earlier," he grinned, jumping out of my reach when I went to hit his arm.

"Don't you dare mention that to them, Negan Smith. I mean it!"

He just laughed as he strode from the room. I heard him talk into the radio, calling for Dwight and Simon to come to his office.

Nervousness bubbled in my stomach. While yeah, the adrenaline rush of someone walking in on us had for sure done wild things to me for a moment, the thought of having to face them now made me want to vomit. Not really even them, but specifically Dwight. Simon had looked away, but Dwight hadn't, not until Negan had yelled at them, at least.

I reasoned with myself for a moment. I had been very much on display. I wasn't even sure I would have immediately looked away if someone was suddenly naked in front of me. And Dwight had never given me any kind of vibe that signaled he wanted anything more from me than friendship. He was probably just taken by surprise for a moment and Negan yelling pulled him out of it. Plus, Dwight was very married to a gorgeous woman.

I nodded my head to myself. Yeah, he was just shocked. Nothing was going to be weird.

I heard a knock on the door to the office and Negan yelled for them to enter.

Straightening my posture, I headed out of our room at the same time Dwight and Simon stepped into the office. Giving them a small smile, I made my way to Negan, who gestured for me to sit in his lap.

I made myself comfortable on him, his arm draping around my waist and his hand splaying on my bare stomach.

"You two want to explain why you just barged into our bedroom without so much as a fucking knock?" Negan seethed, glaring at the two men who had come to stand in front of the desk.

Simon sighed.

"Boss, the bedroom door was open. We had knocked on your office door before we came in. I'm sorry, man. That was incredibly fucking weird," Simon said, his face turning pink.

I wanted to laugh, but I bit my lip to hold it back. I'd never seen the man look bashful before, so this was great.

My eyes bounced to Dwight who was staring at the floor. The cheek that wasn't scarred was a bright shade of red.

"I'm sorry, Piper. I really fucking am. You know I'd never want to see you… indisposed," Simon continued, his face set in an uncomfortable grimace.

I laughed this time, I couldn't help it. The poor man looked like he wanted to dig a hole to crawl into.

"It's fine, Si. Don't worry about it."

"No, definitely worry about it and don't let it fucking happen again," Negan grumbled, his glare burning a hole into Simon.

"It's fine, Negan. It was an accident. Just… be more cautious next time, yeah? Like maybe announce yourselves when you enter if you don't see us immediately?" I suggested, shrugging my shoulders.

Simon nodded, giving me a grateful smile, but Dwight remained quiet with his eyes cast downward.

"What did you two want, anyway?" Negan asked, the anger still written all over his face.

"The prisoner has been put in his cell. We were going to ask what you wanted us to do with him," Dwight murmured.

Negan looked at Dwight then, his eyebrow raising as his eyes narrowed at the man.

"He's your responsibility now."

Dwight looked up then. His eyes landed on mine before quickly looking to Negan's.

"What?" He asked, sounding shocked.

"Beat him, starve him, show him what he could have if he worked for us. Break him. I don't give a fuck. He is your responsibility and yours alone. Are we clear?" Negan said slowly, his voice dark.

I looked at Negan then, but his chocolate eyes were still locked on Dwight's blue ones.

"We're clear," Dwight mumbled, dropping his gaze to the ground again.

"Incredible. Anything else?" Negan asked.

"No, sir. We just wanted to let you know what was happening. We'll get out y'alls hair now," Simon muttered, sounding just as confused as I felt.

Negan shooed them away with his hand and they left the room.

"What was that about?" I asked, looking at Negan's face.

"I'm not crazy about the way he acts with you. Never been real good with it," Negan growled, looking at me with a possessive stare.

I sighed and kissed him on his cheek, standing from his lap.

"He was embarrassed about walking in on us. Don't read too much into it. I'm going to check on the lab and talk to Harvey before I stop in and see Em and Ms. Ellie. I need to move, do something, before I start thinking too hard," I said, stretching as I rounded his desk.

"Let me know if you need me, wildflower," he said, the possessive edge to his face dissolving.

I smiled at him as I slid into my flip flops and left the room.

I'd done everything I'd wanted to. Checked in with everyone, made sure the lab was working smoothly without me, let Harvey know that Red was dead. It was only five and I didn't want to go to bed yet, even though I was fucking exhausted. I knew if I fell asleep now, I'd wake up way too early and my whole sleeping schedule would be thrown off.

Everything I had done had been clouded by Colt. Around Negan, it was easy to push everything out of my head until he was the only thing taking up space in my thoughts. But now that I had spent a few hours apart from him, I felt the weight of everything pressing on my chest.

Because I had healthy coping skills, I hunted down a bottle of liquor, a pack of cigarettes, and a lighter before making my way to the roof alone. Today had already been shit. I'd give myself one night to be fucked up and torn apart by the new developments in my life, and then tomorrow, I would bounce back and come up with a solid plan.

That's what I told myself, at least.

I'd gone unnoticed to the roof, luckily not having passed by anyone on the steps up. When I finally broke through the doors to the fresh air, I smiled. The sun was about to set and I was going to have the best seat in the house.

I made myself comfortable on the ledge, dangling my legs off the side of the building. I grabbed the bottle, impressed that I'd managed to find some Southern Comfort, and took a large swig, letting it burn all the way down. Setting the bottle aside, I lit a cigarette and looked to the sky.

I let the emotions take over then. The sadness, the hurt, the anger. I let it all wash through me, crashing into me like a wave.

It was hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that my brother was alive and had chosen to stay with other people. He was convinced we were the bad guys in this situation, blind to the fact that Negan had only killed one of theirs, while they'd killed over thirty of ours. All he knew was information that he'd been fed by those people, not taking into account any of the time that he'd spent with Negan before even knowing them. Not that it had been a lot, but I felt like it was enough to know he wasn't all fucking bad.

He should trust me enough to know that I would never stick by Negan if I thought he was an awful person. I would have told him in the clearing if that were the case, if this was another Brendan situation.

I had always trusted Colt's judgment. If the roles had been reversed, I would have believed him immediately. I would have fucking apologized and figured out a way to fix everything. But he had done nothing of the sort.

And I'd still fucking made sure the two people he had requested I protect in the lineup left there alive.

I took another sip from the bottle.

Everything was fucked. I had spent so many months wishing that I could hug him, hear his voice, see him smile. Months regretting everything I had done that had cost me his life, only for him to not trust me when it mattered.

But how could he? I put them in Purcellville to begin with.

I promptly told my inner monologue to fuck all they way off as I took a drag of the second cigarette I'd lit.

I downed another gulp of the liquor, wincing as it traveled down my throat, before sitting it back down. Cringing a little, I realized I'd drank more than I thought I had.

"You want some company?"

I turned my head too quickly to see Dwight standing in the doorway.

"Oh, you probably shouldn't be around me right now," I laughed.

The liquor had gotten to me a little. I could feel it.

"Hey, what time is it?" I asked him.

"Eight. And why shouldn't I be around you?" He asked, walking towards me with his hands in his pockets.

"Negan's been a little crazy recently when it comes to you," I chuckled, remembering his face from earlier.

Dwight sat next to me, a couple feet away. Smart move.

"I can understand why after what we walked in on. I'm sorry, about earlier. I really didn't mean to see… any of that," he cringed, grabbing the bottle next to me and taking a drink.

"It's fine. Really. I know it was an accident."

"Is that why he's charged me with breaking Daryl?" he asked.

"I think so. I think he forgets that you have a whole ass wife, ya know?"

Dwight laughed.

"That I fucking do. And I don't plan on fucking that up now that I have her back."

I smiled at him.

"You've been a good friend to me, D. Really. Maybe even my best friend right now. I'm sorry my… Negan is such a possessive assface."

He laughed again.

"For your sake, I won't tell him you said that, yeah?" He grinned at me.

"I'd appreciate it," I grinned back.

We sat in silence for a moment.

"How are you feeling? After… everything."

I half turned my body to him, looking into his blue eyes.

"I'm a little fucked up by it, if we're being honest. It's hard to wrap my head around. He walked away from me, Dwight. Like full on, 'these are my people, so sorry, bye' walked away from me."

He pulled his eyebrows together.

"Do you want me to be the supportive friend or the honest friend right now?" He asked.

"Hmm… supportive. We can be honest tomorrow."

"In that case, it'll work itself out, eventually. It was probably a shock to both of you and he was in a high stress situation, so he wasn't thinking right."

I sighed.

"You didn't make that sound very convincing. Hit me with honesty."

"You two have been through a fuck of a lot the last eight months, Piper. You thought he was dead, sounds like he thought the same. Your parents died. It would make sense that, through all of that, you guys changed. You found people you care about to ease the hurt from the ones that you lost. I think it's safe to assume that through all of that, he probably cares for those fucking idiots the same way you care about the fucking idiots here," he said, pausing to light a cigarette of his own, "It sucks that you're on opposing sides of a battle and that everyone involved thinks they're the good guy in the situation. Him choosing to help those people right now has nothing to do with the love he has for you, and you'd do well to remember that. Because if he's anything like his sister, he's not going to back down from a fight or turn his back on people that he cares about."

"I actually think I preferred supportive," I grumbled, knowing that what Dwight said was right.

"Well, then fuck that kid and fuck those people, too."

I barked out a laugh as Dwight smiled at me. I snatched the bottle from his hand and took another drink.

"Might wanna slow down on that before you stumble back to your… Negan."

"Eh, he'll get over it. Not the first time he's had to take care of a drunken me. Probably won't be the last. Hey, how come you're not with Sherry tonight?" I asked, looking over at him.

"She's hanging out with Frankie, catching up," he said, flicking his cigarette over the ledge.

"How'd you guys meet? How long have you been together?" I asked, handing him back the bottle.

He smiled broadly and launched into the story. He looked proud as he talked about her, detailing how beautiful she had been the first night they'd met. The love that he had for the woman was obvious in his eyes and the way he called her "honey" made me match his smile.

"That's so cute."

Dwight chuckled.

"Yeah, she's the best part of me. Not sure I would have made it this far without her."

We settled into a comfortable silence again, staring at the sky.

I glanced over at him.

"You don't have to sit up here with me. You can go hang out with your friends. Promise, I won't jump again," I said, sending him a sarcastic smile that made him laugh.

"Your sense of humor is so fucking dark," he chuckled, shaking his head, "I love it. And no, I'm good right here. I don't really like many people. Besides Sherry, you're the only person I can stand to be around for longer than five minutes."

"Dwight, are you telling me I'm your best friend?" I screeched, clutching my chest in mock shock.

He barked out a laugh.

"What is it with women having to deem who their best friend is?"

"You didn't answer my question, mister."

He grinned at me.

"Yes, Piper, you are my best friend."

I laughed and flopped backwards, laying flat on the roof and leaving my feet dangling over the ledge. I took in the stars above me. Since the electricity had gone out however many years ago, the stars had looked so much brighter.

"Thank you. For coming up here. For making me feel better. I was up here stewing in hurt before you crashed my pity party," I said, keeping my eyes on the sky.

Dwight chuckled.

"Pity parties are always better if you're not attending them alone, ya know?"

I heard him lay back too.

"Hey, I saw you with that crossbow earlier. Are you any good with it?" I asked.

"I took it from Daryl, but yeah. I'm okay. Still getting the hang of it. I had one before everything, so I have a pretty decent idea of how to use it."

"You should show me some time. I've always wanted to learn, but was always more into guns than anything else."

"Tell me when and where and I'll show you how to use one," he said.

"Oh! I found an Iver Johnson Revolver in the armory. It's beautiful. I'm fixing it now. I'm gonna start making the ammo for it soon. I almost did a damn cartwheel when I saw it," I gushed, smiling at the sky.

"Those are pretty old, right?"

"Correct. Come see it sometime this week. I need someone else to witness its beauty."

He laughed again.

"You're the strangest fucking woman I've ever met, Piper Black," he chuckled.

"So I've been told," I replied, "I should probably get to bed. I'm running on zero fucking sleep."

"Same. And I imagine Negan is going to send out a search party for you soon," he grunted as he stood up, offering me his hand.

I slid mine into his and got to my feet, swaying just a little from being upright suddenly.

"Ya know, I think I'll just walk you to your door."

"I'm not super drunk this time, promise. Just a little buzzed, but you can still walk me home if ya wanna, good sir."

Dwight laughed and we made our way to the door and down the stairs. I started singing Lean on Me by Bill Withers which only made him laugh harder at my theatrical rendition of the classic.

When we reached my door, I flung it open with a dramatic flair, continuing my obnoxious singing. Negan was sitting at his desk with a paper in his hand, and looked up at me, a bright smile settling on his face. It dimmed slightly when he noticed Dwight behind me.

I ended my performance with a bow and kicked off my flip flops. Turning towards Dwight, I gave the man a tight hug that he returned briefly.

Dwight stepped to the side, looking at Negan.

"Found her on the roof with a bottle of Southern Comfort. Just wanted to make sure she got home safe, boss," Dwight said to him.

"Thanks, D. I think I got it from here," he chuckled, setting the paper down on the desk and walking towards me.

"See you later, trouble," Dwight smiled at me and left the room.

"Had a solo bender on the roof, huh?" Negan snickered, stepping close and wrapping his arms around me.

"I did. Dwight joined in at the end and made me feel a little better. He's a good friend," I said, wrapping my arms around his waist and leaning my head against his chest.

"I need to chill out on being so weird about Dwight, don't I?" He sighed.

I laughed as I snuggled closer to him.

"I like you a little jealous. Kinda gets me going sometimes. But yeah, Dwight is just a really great friend."

"Why do you smell like an ashtray?" Negan asked suddenly.

"Oh, uhm… I smoke once in a blue moon when I'm stressed. Or drinking. Sorry."

Negan laughed.

"Come on. Let's take a shower and go to bed, wildflower. I'm fucking tired."

I followed after him.

Maybe it was alcohol, or the fact that I just had some really great fucking people in my corner, but I felt positive about everything to come. It would all work out how it was supposed to.