'What if he really does look like me, like Tonks said?' He wondered as he walked along the beach to Shell Cottage.
He knew he should be with his wife but he just wasn't sure he could bring himself to go.
They were having their very first broadcast that afternoon and Remus was to meet up with everyone at Bill amd Fleur's place.
He still was using a cane due to his injuries he'd sustained over the last full moon, a fortnight previous and stumbled through the soft sand a bit.
"Remus, I thought you were doing better, we could've done the broadcast at your place." Bill told him quietly, noticing the cane as he let him inside.
"Oh no. I'm doing much better, it's good to get out too stretch out my legs.."
Bill looked at him wearily but agreed.
Soon, Remus found himself in the sitting room with Kingsley, Bill, George and Fred along with their friend Lee.
"I've been messing around with a few names, but I'm not so sure what we're going to call the program." Lee was explaining to the group.
"I was thinking, 'The Watch'?" Lee explained.
"Oh, I like that." Fred explained.
"If I could." Remus cut in.
"Why not call it Potter Watch?" Remus asked.
"If its main purpose will be to update the world on Harry Potter and the war?" He added.
"Ohh. That's good." George quipped.
"Agreed. Let's go with it?" Kingsley agreed.
"Cool. I dig it." Bill explained.
"We need code names." Lee told them
They all in turn chose names.
"I'll go by Romulus." Remus said.
"Alright. Let's do this." Lee said excitedly.
" it feels like a Quidditch match." Lee joked.
He rubbed his hands together, then turned on the network receiver that would broadcast their program to the WWN.
"Testing? Testing? Hello All!" Lee boomed.
"This is your host River, coming to you live, presenting for the first time, Potter Watch. True news from your one and only rebel broadcasting team, fighting foes and false information one broadcast at a time." Lee boomed into his microphone.
"Before we hear from our trusty correspondents we have some news to report. This afternoon we are going to be covering recent reports, ongoings at the ministry of magic, the muggle born registration commission, the Chief Death Eater himself, and the illusive Undesirable number one." Lee continued.
"This week in Kent, a muggle family was murdered, and the masses believe that it was likely the work of Death Eaters unknown. Despite the attempts of this administration to try to dissuade these rumors they continue to fly. Also people please don't forget about the Taboo. You cannot use You Know Whose name. We just want to remind the public of that. We here at Potter Watch have endearingly named him 'Chief Death Eater'." Lee said into the receiver.
"Also, there's been nasty reports from St Mungos that they have warded off several break in attempts to closed wards by Death Eaters this past week. The ministry once again refused to comment." Lee continued.
"Now. Before I bore you all with anymore news. I'd like to introduce one of our correspondents who will be frequently joining us. Romulus."
"Romulus, we've discussed the Ministry and this new dark era often, as of late. Especially, their recent changes in policy, I know you specifically have a lot of thoughts about this current administration and the muggle born registration." Lee mused, turning to Remus.
"Yes. It's been hard to watch all the missteps being made. Especially, since the public's safety is at risk more so now than ever, yet the ministry is focused on persecuting innocent muggle borns and their families. I believe it also allows them to distract from the Chief Death Eaters activities as well, only strengthening the other side. " Remus said.
"It's cruelty and discrimination at its finest." Lee boomed.
"It certainly is." Remus agreed with him.
"What else can you tell us about the muggle born registration currently?" Lee implored.
"The muggle born registration commission pushes forward into its 17th week, as more and more innocent muggle borns are persecuted, arrested, and forced into hiding, and even killed. Personally, I cannot wait for the day to come, when Dolores Umbridge will have to answer for these heinous crimes she's committing against muggle borns. It will happen one day, after this is all over." Remus explained, solemnly.
"So you stand by the fact that you believe this war will end, Romulus?" Lee asked.
"Oh, I think so. The war will end, just like it ended last time. That's not the question we need to ask, we need to ask when, and how this will come to pass. I implore all of our listeners to do their part, whatever that may be to do to help us triumph in this fight, so that we can win. So, that way we can have a better tomorrow. So, that our sons and daughters can have a brighter future."
"Well said." Boomed Kingsley.
Lee continued..
"Before we move to our next segment, I have to ask Romulus. Have you had contact with Harry Potter?"
Remus sighed.
"Unfortunately, no I've not heard from him in some time. But, that doesn't mean he's not still out there fighting the good fight. He is, I can assure the public of that."
"Harry knows that we are behind him. We must keep supporting him."
"Very well said Romulus!" Lee boomed.
"Many have attempted to claim that Harry Potter is dead? Can you comment on those rumors?" Lee pressed him.
"Harry is very much alive. I'm certain of that. The Death Eaters would most likely want his death to be widely publicized if it did occur. They would want the public to be afraid and at their mercy in that situation."
"Thank you so much, Romulus. We will now move on to our next corespondent. Royal"
"Royal, do you have any thoughts or concerns you'd like to share with the public today? I know you have been keeping eyes on the issues at St Mungos, can you tell us anything about that? Any idea who or what the Death Eaters could have been looking for?" Lee turned to Kingsley.
Kingsley chuckled.
"Well, I'm glad to report that we were able to confirm this morning, no staff or patients were injured during this attempted assault on the hospital. That's good. But, the ministry and the Prophet are determined to cover this up. It's not a very good look if you ask me."
"No it is not, Royal. I have to ask given the state of things, many people have flocked from the ministry these last few months, in fact the ministry has seen more resignations during this period than ever before, isn't that true?" Lee pressed him.
"Yes, that is true. And, it's understandable. I wouldn't stand with those sycophants either. It's blind loyalty that we are seeing now, that and cowardice." Kingsley explained in his deep voice.
"Bold words, Royal. As far as the future goes for the ministry, what do you think will happen to those that chose to stay in solidarity?" Lee asked..
"Oh, i suspect many will be punished. Those that willingly did the Chief Death Eaters bidding certainly will be.
Some may not, some remain at the ministry out of fear that their families will be targeted or out of financial necessity, or out of the fear that the ministry will only further fall into worse hands. I stand with those individuals too, I feel for those that are trapped there." Kingsley explained.
Lee nodded.
"Thank you so much for that insight, Royal. We'll be sure to touch base with you soon about any new developments." Lee said.
"Now, on to our next corespondent. Weasel."
Bill smiled, ready to begin.
And, for the next 30 minutes they all took turns going back and forth about the current state they had found themselves in.
Eventually, they signed off, but not before making sure their listeners could find them again next week.
" next week, the secret code to get into the program will be, Hogwarts. We'll see you all then. Talk soon." Lee boomed once more into the receiver and stopped the recording.
"You could have been the minister." Kingsley joked with Remus after they wrapped up the program.
"What you said was good Lupin and you didn't have a script that was off the cuff." Kingsley asserted.
"Would you be a speech writer?" Kingsley asked.
"Ahh, I don't know. If the job was offered, perhaps." Remus chuckled.
" well, when this thing does end, if I get the top job, you have a place on my staff." Kingsley assured him.
Remus looked surprised.
"That's very nice of you, but that would cause horrible public backlash. You must know that." Remus told him.
Kingsley laughed wryly.
"Ha, Lupin. Death Eaters run the ministry right now. You'd look like a Girl Scout compared to the people that they have running the show right now."
"I actually didn't consider that." Remus joked. "But I'll toast to the idea anyway."
Kingsley laughed, holding up his drink.
they were sitting celebrating their first broadcast in the kitchen of Shell Cottage. It had gone well, and they were scheduled to release another the following week.
Eventually though, Bill brought up the topic unbeknownst to him, that Remus was most anxious about.
"Oh, wasn't that important scan today?" Bill asked casually, putting some milk back in the ice box.
"Yeah, it was earlier." He lied.
"Very nice!" Bill said happily.
"Oh, did you get to see the baby? Was eee so cute?" Fleur asked, excitedly.
"Ah-yeah we did. I'll have Dora bring some photos to the next Order meeting." He lied, desperately wanting to leave now suddenly.
"You guys come up with any good names yet?" Bill asked, eating a shortbread cookie.
Remus' throat constricted.
He hadn't even thought about that yet. People were going to start to ask what his son's name was. That would happen more and more now.
"Screw names, let them name themselves ." George asserted, joking.
"You know, I've been wondering. How do you tell a kid they're a wizard? Like, what if they don't believe you and think you're a total nutter?" Fred laughed.
George howled in laughter. "No, how do you tell a kid you're a werewolf?" He mused, laughing.
Both twins looked at Remus.
Remus chuckled, realizing this was a fear he hadn't really realized he'd had. Sure he worried his condition would negatively impact his son's life, but he hadn't really considered how to talk to him about it either.
"Well I'm not exactly an expert on that. I suppose I'll have to come up with something. Hopefully, he doesn't think I'm a nutter." He added, hoping he sounded calm.
The twins laughed.
But, Remus fretted.
"How'd it go?" Remus asked Tonks casually, hanging up his coat once he was back home.
"Good, we got a new photo of him. You want to see him?" She asked.
Remus nodded, coming to sit with her.
She handed it to him.
"It looks a little different than the other ones. It's a different color to help see his internal development best, I guess. I don't really know."
The photo was still of an orb. But, it was more of a greenish blue color, and he could see his son's face and body much better, his little hand was curled up near his face. He was sucking on his thumb.
He looked perfect.
"Ashlee says he looks wonderful." She explained gleefully.
"He's so cute." Tonks gushed, pointing at his little face.
She wasn't wrong.
"Yes, he sure is." Remus agreed, running his thumb over the photo. He was awestruck. That was his boy. He was so sweet.
He wasn't even sure what to say. He was speechless. He suddenly felt a horrible wave of regret and guilt wash over him. He felt bad about not being at the scan, he should have been there, he had the time to get there.
"You can hold onto this on too if you'd like?" She asked sweetly.
"Yeah I'd like that, but only if you take the other back. You deserve one to hold onto too." He told her.
That night, Remus dreamed of his son again.
'Remus laid against his headboard in his bedroom.
He was resting, when a little noise caught his attention.
His small sandy haired son was sneaking into his room. The door creaked behind him.
"Hey, buddy." Remus rasped.
The little boy lit up and smiled. He was a little older than in the last dream. He couldn't have been older than four in his previous dream of him, but now his son looked closer to six.
"Daddy." He smiled and ran over to him, hoping up on the side of the bed.
Remus smiled softly.
"How are you, Daddy? Momma says you're sick today?" The little boy asked.
Remus patted his arm.
"I'm okay, just a little tired today." He explained.
The full moon was that night, and Remus' energy was beginning to wane quickly.
"Sometimes that happens." The boy said, snuggling up next to Remus.
Remus sighed.
"You know why that happens, right?" Remus asked.
"Sometimes you get sick." The boy said, proudly.
"Mhmm." Remus agreed.
"That's true. Sometimes I do get sick." Remus explained.
"Why, daddy?" The little boy asked, his little brow furrowing.
Remus blinked. He knew the day would come when he'd have to answer that question.
"Well, I have a medical condition. Sometimes it makes me sick." Remus explained, trying to make the explanation age appropriate.
"Why don't the healers make you all better?" The little boy questioned, his eyes narrowing.
Remus couldn't help but think that was a very good question. Clearly nothing got passed this little boy,
"That's a good question. It's because I have Lycanthropy. There's no cure or fix for that. We can only help control some of my symptoms. Remus explained truthfully, waiting for his son's reaction.
the little boys brow furrowed even further at this.
"So you won't get better ever?" The little boy propped himself up, hopeful for an answer.
"No I won't. But, my Lycanthropy only affects me on some days of the month. Today is the full moon so I'm sickest today." Remus mused, hoping he'd understand.
The boy looked quizzical at him.
"The moon makes you sick?" He asked.
Remus nodded. "That's why some nights I go away, because it's safest."
"To our other house?" The little boy asked. Indicating Mad Eyes old house.
Remus nodded.
"But, what if we kept the curtains closed, so no light comes in?" The boy quizzed him, desperate for more information.
Remus smirked, it was a valid question.
"That wouldn't help unfortunately. But thank you for thinking of me. You're so thoughtful." He praised his son, who beamed.
"But, why can't you stay here? We can help you feel better." The small boy asserted confidently.
Remus smiled, sadly.
"Because. Like I said it's safest for me to leave. B-because my Lycanthropy causes me to turn into a werewolf." He admitted, holding his breath.
He suddenly worried that was too much information. But he couldn't take it back now.
His son gasped a little, his mouth open just slightly. He looked at Remus.
"Y-you turn into a werewolf?" The little boy asked quietly.
"I do. On the night of the full moon. That's why I go to our other house those nights. That's why I'm sick sometimes."
"It's okay, if that confuses you, or or scares you." Remus added.
"Is that a bad thing?" His son asked coyly.
Remus wasn't sure how to answer that. He answered as plainly as he could.
"It's not my favorite thing. It is kinda bad. It bothers me a bit." He tried to be honest.
"But, you are a good werewolf?" The little boy asked quietly, and a little nervously.
"Yes." He nodded. "I have rules I follow that keep me and others safe"
The little boy nodded too. "Like me and mommy?" The boy asked.
Remus nodded. "Especially you two." He agreed.
"So, you can't stay here tonight?" His son pressed him for more answers.
Remus shook his head.
"No. I can't unfortunately." Remus explained.
The little boy nodded, understanding.
"Can you read me my bedtime books now then?" The boy asked.
"Of course." He told him.
His son beamed and ran off to go get his books.
Remus sighed in relief. that had only been their first conversation about it, but it hadn't gone that badly. In fact, it had gone quite well.
Tonks emerged in the doorway.
"I heard you talking to him." She whispered.
"Seemed like it went okay?" She asked.
"Seems it so far." He explained happily.
His son burst back into the room carrying several books with him.
Remus smiled. All that mattered to his son was that there was someone there to read him his bedtime stories like normal.
The boy bounded up on the bed.
Tonks smiled and left them alone.
"I want to read this one, this one has werewolves in it. Only the good ones though." He presented the book to Remus.
"Oh, this is a good one." Remus beamed.
"Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them." Remus read.
The little boy nodded, interested.
Together, they spent the afternoon in bed reading.'