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(Yuma PoV)
It should have been ideal. I was alone in a room with the man who had saved my life and village from bandits and monsters. I should have been able to come up with something to talk to him about.
I would never be so bold as Rosé or Peach were about it but I did find the Professor attractive. Peach was so vulgar about it at times. He was a real huntsman. He was so cool. So maybe I got wrapped up in things and ended up alone with him for the wrong reasons. That may have been true. But I could still work with this. I just had to think.
I glanced up from my homework at where he was typing away on a holographic keyboard with a monitor in front of him. What he wore now wasn't too different from the clothes he wore in Wutai. He had a slick silhouette from the half cape and the vibrant turquoise tunic nearly matched his eyes and made them pop.
All hunters had a bit of glow to them. Professor Strife was no exception. He was supernaturally handsome. He was intelligent and powerful. He really had it all going for him. At least on the surface. Looks could fade. And I wasn't going to get my panties twisted over a guy I couldn't get along with. We had had conversations and I thought they went well. I was nervous but he seemed to brush that off. Maybe he thought I was just shy. Should I try and play things off that way? No, I wasn't a little kid. If I wanted to be taken seriously I would have to get serious.
"Miss Kisaragi? Did you need something?"
Oh fiddlesticks. He caught me staring. Don't blush. Think. I glanced over at his display. He was looking at power classifications. Master for people who had control over others. Blaster for ranged abilities. Stranger for stealth powers. Striker for melee ranged persons. Brute for strong or tough people. Thinker for extra cognitive abilities. Trump for powers that interacted with other powers. Mover for enhanced mobility like the Professor's flight. Shaker for area of affect powers. Changer for shapeshifters. Tinkers for those who were able to build advanced equipment. Breaker for those who could change states also like the Professor.
"No… and it's alright. You can call me Yuma in private."
"I see. I think I understand. It's a little strange for me sometimes since I'm barely older than the students here to be so formal."
"Exactly," I rolled with it. "Plus you and I know one another. From Wutai."
"Of course."
"You saved my life. I'm very grateful to you for that."
"The bandits might not have killed you, but I suppose that's semantical." He hand waved and glanced away. He didn't seem concerned about it in the least. He was acting like it was no big thing when indeed it was. It was 'big thing.'
"All the same. If only there was some way for me to pay you back…" Was I being too forward? Would he take the hint? I was much less brazen than my partner and leader. I would have to do things my way. I tried for a moment to imagine him as just another student. I bet he would be popular. Nerdy little Kisaragi would have had no chance with him then. Maybe I should consider him as something in between?
"You can try and stay out of trouble and not go picking fights. That's what got you here stuck with me in the first place. I'm sure whatever you had planned for your Fridays was much more entertaining than this," he smiled at me firmly yet soft in the center. Like a bite of caramel chocolate. Now he thought I thought he was boring. But that wasn't true. He was so slick and steady as a rock. And did he maybe want to go out and get a bite to eat sometime? He was a hardened bonafide badass. Maybe detention wasn't the way I wanted to do it but it did get me alone in a room with him. And he was so cool. The glint of his metal breastplate under his tunic shone out at me.
"I don't get it," I managed. "Isn't stopping criminals a huntress' job? Aren't I supposed to pick fights and take names?"
"Not if it gets civilians hurt you're not. You're not supposed to beat on every druggie you encounter. There are institutions in place to help those people. It's not down to you to fight them all and you can't do it and you shouldn't try it. That's what gets you here. I don't mean to say you should ignore a crime in progress like theft or murder but there's a distinct difference between stopping a burglary and what you did. Isn't there?"
"I suppose…"
"Maybe I'm not explaining it right."
"I think I get it. It's because no one besides the druggie was getting hurt. So I should have just let him do it to himself."
"Yeah, a little. That's a good way of putting it. How are you enjoying Beacon?"
"It's the best. I love it here. I mean sure, I miss my dad but I'm learning so much and I'm becoming a better fighter every day."
"How are lessons?"
"Good." I went non-committal. Oh no, what if he had access to my grades? I wasn't good at math or literacy!
"Don't want to talk about school, eh? That's okay."
Darn it. Now what do I do? What should I say? Conversations were a two way street. First one person talked then the other and now it was my turn. Think, darn it.
"What's it like being a teacher? I mean… you were a hunter before and this is different, isn't it?" Yes, go me! Keeping things alive and trucking. Could this be considered a date? I mean we were getting to know one another. It could count. I was so unprepared.
"It's a lot of work to be completely honest. And I'm supposed to show you all the way to not die. That's a lot of stress."
"But it can't be all bad," I cut across.
"It isn't. It's very gratifying. And there are days where I think I learn more than I teach. But there's always this nagging doubt that I'll slip up and fail to teach you something you need to survive. That haunts me. My failures will affect more than just me. Sometimes I'm not sure what the headmistress was thinking when she offered me this position."
"But you do so well!" I protested. "You make time to work with anyone and you always share valuable life saving wisdom." How could he think he wasn't good enough? He was incredible. Just look at the progress I was making under him. All of us were doing so well. And during private lessons he worked on my weaknesses with me so I could get stronger intensively. And he made time for all of that. He was so good.
"I come with a lot of baggage," he confessed. He scratched his cheek a little with one hand sort of sheepishly.
"Oh." I wasn't quite sure what he meant by that. Didn't everybody bring some baggage with them? Why was his bad in particular?" "Does it have to do with the laboratories? Merlot's labs?"
"A little, yeah. Rosé mentioned to me you chatted about it as a group." He asked. He seemed a touch defensive. Did I draw back? Or did I dare to press forward?
"With the three of us you went to three different labs. It came up. What does it have to do with Merlot?"
"Unfortunately, yes and no is the answer. I still have to find Merlot and put a stop to him. He escaped me most recently so he's still out there doing his evil work," he explained.
"Why you?" I asked.
"Why not me? I have the power to put a stop to him. So I probably should. The same way you should stop a crime in progress. Merlot is evil and he does evil works. Someone has to stop him. It may as well be me. Don't you think so?" He tagged.
"Yeah. Maybe. I don't see how that makes you unfit to teach, though."
"It's complicated and a touch personal. I'm not a very good person."
"You saved me."
"I killed a lot of people as well. Some of them were just vaguely in my way and I killed them for it. I'm not nice and I've had some pretty low moments."
"They can't have been that bad. I don't believe that about you," I professed.
"Oh no?" He streamed his fingers through his spiky locks.
"No. Whatever you did I'm sure you had a good reason for it."
"My reasons were good enough at the time but with the benefit of hindsight I think I went too far and hurt too many people. There were times when I killed because I felt like it, out of convenience. No other reason. That's actually around the time I met you. I was glad those bandits took you. That gave me a target and justification to kill them. That's a problem. I was looking for it. Do you see the difference?"
"But you still saved me and those bandits still had to be dealt with. You dealt with them. That was thanks to you," let's see him argue with that. Except he evidently could.
"But I didn't kill them because they were in the wrong. I killed them because I was messed up and I could. I had the power to do it. They didn't have the power to stop me. I killed them for the wrong reason. That matters. Why I did it matters. Doesn't it."
"Of course it does. But it's not like you destroyed Wutai. You directed yourself at worthy targets. That's important too. And you probably could have destroyed Wutai if you wanted. I know that now."
"What would you say I told you that I thought about it."
"Thought about what?" I asked.
"Nothing. Never mind," he sighed.
"No. What did you think about?"
"Destroying Wutai," he admitted. He was grimacing like I was putting him through pain just by talking to him. That's not really what I wanted but I also hadn't wanted to hear that.
"What? Why?"
"I was distraught by what I found in the laboratory near there. I was incensed. If I hadn't been redirected at the bandits I don't know what I would have done. Doesn't that scare you? Doesn't that bother you?"
"Of course. I think everybody has thoughts but you didn't do it. That would be horrible."
"I am horrible. Aren't you listening?"
"But you didn't do it. That matters."
He leaned back and rubbed his brow and sighed.
"You might not think so but it does matter to me that my village is still standing," I pointed out when he said nothing for a long time.
"You're right. You know, you remind me so much of a girl who went to school here with me. Not in your fighting style. You two couldn't be more different in that way. But you're both so optimistic."
"What was her name?" I wondered.
"Ruby," he muttered softly. "And she's still alive and kicking. She's in Atlas when I last saw her. It's been a long time since then. It's alright though. I like being reminded of her. It's healthy for me."
"Uh okay?" I wasn't quite sure what he meant by that. It didn't sound bad, though. "What was your time at school here like?" I asked.
"It was good. It was the best, even. I probably was happiest when I was here. That was before the fall. I still had my team back then and a little after."
"What happened to your team?" I asked.
"They died," he bit out. "One died here at Beacon during the attack and the other two were killed by Merlot's work."
"That sounds hard. I only just got my team but I can't imagine what I would do if something happened to them. No wonder you want to go after Merlot. He cost you big time. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry to bring up bad memories."
"I've had a little time to get used to it. And not all of them are bad memories. But some wounds never heal. A team is like a family and I hope yours stays whole and healthy. That's part of why you have detention. You went too far. You need to know your own limits."
"You're so scared," I realized. It came dawning to me before I could help myself and his eyes flashed with something cold. "You're scared that I'll die. That all of us will."
"Of that and so much more. I'm terrified, to be honest with you. There's so much you don't know and what you don't know can hurt you. There are so many Grimm. There are so many monsters. Shadows lurk in the rivers of time and good teams drop like flies out here. First my team but who is next? No one can say, but this job isn't safe. Sometimes I think the best advice I can give a student like you is to quit."
"Quit? Quit being a huntress? I can't imagine doing that."
"Save yourself. Give up and live a quiet life. Go home to Wutai with your family. Find a nice boy and get married. Have a family of your own. But this job will probably kill you. I'm sending you off to die."
"I can't just quit."
"I didn't think so. But it's probably the best advice I can give. Probably for the best if you didn't tell anyone about that. I'm a Professor and I can't be telling students to give up. Let's just keep that a secret between the two of us, shall we?"
I swallowed and nodded my head. Of all the things I thought he would tell me, that wasn't one of them. And I could hardly consider it and process it. Give up being a huntress? What would I do? What would I be? What would that mean? I felt like I had only just begun. I was still a huntress in training. The 'in training' part was important.
This wasn't how I thought a chat between us would go. I'm not sure what I'd been hoping for or expecting but it wasn't this. This felt all oily and icky bad. It felt like a bad dream I had one time that I couldn't quite remember upon waking up. But it made me feel a little gross and unclean. As though the topics of discussion had soiled me.
It was just so ghastly. Save myself? What did that even mean?
"You don't have to be so scared. You can maybe relax a little."
"No, I can't afford to. I can't tighten up or let loose. I need to be kept in check and I need that nagging suspicion that I'm failing. It makes me do a better job. Listen to us. One might think you were counseling me." He gave me a nice smile which was pleasant to look at.
Yay! Go me!
"Well you know…" I managed under his examination. I was smiling a little and I couldn't help but turn a little red under the look he was giving me along with his flattery. "That's just my charm?" I tried.
It was too much all at once. I was getting on board a train. I wasn't sure I could get off but it made me want to squeal a little in joy from the ride.
He laughed and it was a rich smooth sound. And it sounded like trumpets.
"Well it's about time for you to head out. Enjoy your weekend. I'll see you again Monday. Sound good?"
I nodded, feeling pleased. I gathered my belongings and left at what I hoped wasn't an unreasonable speed. I tried to be just unsuspiciously urgent. I'm not sure how well I succeeded when I passed Pine at the door.
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-WG