19

It had been decided that the next day there would be a team dinner. While everyone had been benefitting from individual encounters with members of the team, especially JJ, they all agreed that a group event was needed. For ease it was set at Emily's house and this made Jack particularly excited with swimming being on the cards for the evening. Garcia and Morgan had been preparing stuff throughout the morning as JJ sat in the sun.

Emily too had attempted to help but was repeatedly shooed out of the kitchen by Penelope. Instead she settled for watching day time television and casting inconspicuous glances at JJ. Rossi had mentioned that she ought to speak with JJ. A wise man he was, though he didn't give her any advice on how to begin the conversation. She also wasn't sure she wanted to have it when her other two friends were within possible earshot.

Emily had just managed to formulate a sentence in her head when Morgan strode into the room and asked JJ if she was ready to be swooped away to do some stretching exercises. Well there went that plan.

Instead she headed off into the kitchen and decided small talk with Garcia was good before beginning a more difficult conversation.

"Hey Pen-"

"Out."

"No wai-"

"Emily Prentiss, I do not-"

This time Emily managed to cut Penelope off, raising her hands in surrender. "I am not going to try and help. Just want to sit and chat. It's a bit lonely out there."

"Oh okay Gumdrop, sure thing."

Penelope watched as Emily delicately place herself on the stool. She looked like she was moving around a lot easier today.

"You looking forward to tonight sugar?"

"Yeah, I think it will be really nice. I bet that Jack has grown up so much."

"Oh he has. I always get Hotch to send me pictures because I don't want to feel like I'm missing out on anything."

"Cute Pen."

"Hotch said Jack packed his togs yesterday and was going to tell everyone at school his Aunt Em was the coolest because she had a pool."

Emily smiled and couldn't help but chuckle. "He's a pretty sweet kid."

"You know it… so… what's got you preoccupied my lovely?"

Emily furrowed her brow.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Only when you let it show. Which you're doing right now, so that makes me think you want to have a chat to me about it?"

"That's why you're the best Pen."

"So, what do you want to chat about?"

"Just something Rossi mentioned yesterday."

Penelope kept whisking her batter and waited for Emily to continue.

"He asked me whether JJ and I had talked."

"…and you told him…?"

"That we talk."

Penelope pursed her lip and raised her brow firmly.

"And then he had the same response as you and I told him that we talk but don't talk."

"I could have told you that."

Emily then looked at her with a less than impressed expression.

"I'm not saying I would have, I'm just saying that I could have."

"Mm hmm."

Emily watched as Penelope worked with ease. "Rossi said that we may have some things in common and that talking may help. I mean, I know that that's true. But I just don't see how we can compare. It's not that we both didn't experience something horrific. We most certainly did. But there is that one aspect where she was so much worse off than I am. It just makes me so hesitant. And I don't understand it. I'm not like this. I am never like this."

"Well hun, I think that it's a fair point. But I also think that you shouldn't try and compare."

"I feel like since this happened to both of us, while we are always together, we are so much further apart. I just feel like we aren't friends like we used to be."

Penelope furrowed her brow and made her way around the bench to hug Emily.

"Oh hun. This seems like it's really eating at you."

"Yeah, it is. It kind of has been for a while."

Penelope couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. There had been so much that she'd missed over the past few weeks when it came to Emily.

"I am so sorry I haven't been there like I should have been."

"Pen ple-"

"No don't even go there. My goodness, I've been so absent in your mental healing process. I'm so sorry."

"Pe-"

"No, don't say it's okay. It's not. But I am going to make a conscious effort from now on."

Emily sighed. She felt a bit better after Garcia's realisation. She felt as though she had been left floundering a bit. She would never have said anything but she certainly felt as though she wanted to sometimes.

She had been healing physically at a much quicker rate than her blonde counterpart had. As she healed, she needed less help and the time that she had to speak with her friends seemed to lessen as JJ needed more help for her physical recovery. At one point she had even been looking forward to her mandated therapy. That feeling was fleeting and had gone almost as quickly as it had come. But she had to admit it was very unlike her to have even considered wanting a mind shrinker picking around in her head.

"It's okay Pen. You get back to baking."

"Just one more minute?"

Emily smiled into the bubbly blonde's shoulder as they continued their marathon hug.

Garcia wiped a small tear from her face before heading back to her task.

…

"We'll start with stretching you out alright Jayje?"

"Yeah that's fine."

JJ was lying on the bed and Morgan had started pulling at her sore and ill-used muscles. He could tell that she was uncomfortable but he was trying to do his best to trust her and wait for her to tell him to stop.

The night before the group had had a conversation about respecting everyone's; namely JJ's ability to determine what was the best for themselves. It had been a difficult conversation, but one that they had been expecting for a while. JJ had realised a few days prior the difficulty she was going to have if she persisted by herself. It wasn't only the fact that she wouldn't be able to do it by herself. There was also a slight deterioration in the level of trust between her and the team every time she did. JJ realised that she needed to build the trust up to get where she wanted, not tear it down.

So today was a new beginning for everyone. They all just hoped that this time everyone would learn from past mistakes.

As Morgan was stretching out her leg a slight bit further JJ winced and gasped, finally telling him to stop.

"Please, sorry, I just need a break."

Morgan couldn't help but smile. "That's okay Jayje. You were true to your word last night. That's what is really important here."

JJ smiled back. "I'm really going to try Derek. Really."

"I believe you JJ."

JJ held her hand out for Derek to help her into a sitting position. He sat there next to her and JJ breathed in deeply. She took the opportunity to lay her head on his shoulder and started to stretch her arms.

"I'm looking forward to everyone coming tonight."

"You are?" Derek was hoping that this was going to be a positive step for everyone, but he had still been a bit nervous.

"Yeah. I think so. I mean, how long has it been since we were all really together?"

He thought back. It was when she had just been hurt. His heart hurt a little thinking back to that. But then he was also thankful thinking about where they are now.

"I feel your hesitation Morgan. I know the last time we were all together. And I want to make new memories moving forward. – Not only that, Jack will be here, so that's even better."

"Haha, yeah that's true. The little guy is pretty cute."

"Pretty cute?! He's adorable! I love that little munchkin."

It was true. JJ did love Jack. When Haley died, JJ had been there for Hotch and Jack in a different way to the other members of the team. It was a difficult time for everyone. But JJ had made it slightly more bearable for Hotch. She often kept Jack occupied and made him laugh. It warmed her heart. During this time Jack and JJ had created a strong bond that she was proud of. She loved being his Aunty. It had been so long since she had last seen him, and she was desperate for one of his hugs.

"You love him that much huh?"

"Oh he's the best. Kids, they are just different you know? I guess most are lucky. They don't have the burdens of the world on their shoulders like you do as an adult."

Morgan couldn't help but agree. He remembered feeling that freedom as a young child. Before Buford.

The pair sat quietly for a while, and then JJ perked up.

"Okay, I'm ready. Let's get back to it."

Morgan agreed. "You alright there for a moment?"

JJ nodded, slightly perplexed. A few moments later Derek walked back into the room with a walker and had brought a walker with him.

"The physio said you need to get walking, so scootle your bootle miss thang."

She laughed and then at the same time found herself slightly taken back.

She was actually kind of nervous. Something she had wanted for so long was scaring her a little in that moment.

Derek looked at her and he sensed some apprehension. Crouching in front of her, he tried to reassure her. "Hey, I've got you, you know that?"

She nodded her head, and flexed her fingers. "Right, 10 minutes?"

Derek nodded and smiled. "That's the total aim for the day. I say that we start with two? Just as a warm up."

She smiled. "Start the timer."

Fifteen minutes later she had finished three lots of 2 minutes and her energy was waning. "We can take a longer break now. Is that alright Derek?"

"Yeah, totally. Of course. What do you want to do?"

"Mmm, I think that I just want to take a power nap. Come back in half an hour and we can pick up?"

"See you then Jay."

He helped her lay back down and headed out to check on the other two.

…

"Well, how-dee-day Mr handsome. How's our girl doing?"

"I don't want to say that I'm surprised, but I kind of am. It's like something clicked. Something must have registered, because she is actually taking her limitations seriously. It's… great, just surprising. I didn't think last nights' chat would have an effect so quickly."

Garcia looked up. "It's good though right?"

Derek nodded "I don't doubt that. It's very good. I just hope it's going to last, rather than be a one day thing."

"Too true. What are you doing out here?"

"JJ said she wanted a power nap. I'm going back in half an hour. We've been doing some standing and stuff. I think it shocked her that she got tired so quick."

"Well, I don't think she would be if she was eating proper meals."

They all nodded in agreement at this. "Just one thing at a time. This is progress though."

"Speaking of eating" Derek started "can I take over for you baby girl? I think that if I go back in with a smoothie she'll make a real go of it."

No other words were needed as the pair switched out and Penelope began tinkering. Twenty minutes later Garcia handed Derek a glass and then set one in front of Emily. Prentiss was slightly confused.

"Ah Pen?"

"Don't look at me like that. You could use a boost as well. It would be good for you to get your strength up more so than you already have. Not to mention that you have the head shrinker tomorrow."

"Ughhhhh." Emily groaned as she rolled her eyes. "Damn."

"The quicker you get cleared-"

"-the quicker things can soon get back to normal I know."

"Not to mention that you and JJ have physio as well."

"I'm going to drink it Pen, you don't need to guilt me into it."

"Oh, I know you are going to drink it. Trust me." She told Emily with a smirk.

Emily responded by rolling her eyes.

…

Knock knock.

"I'm awake Derek. Ready to get going."

"Good thing. But first you gotta get this down."

JJ looked at the pink drink and groaned. Though instead of trying to stave it off she tried bargaining. "If I get half down can we start again?"

He smiled. "Yep, as long as you finish it after."

"Deal."

Derek waited patiently as she down half. It was a long process. He also thought he might need to go for a bucket a couple of times, but she managed to keep it down.

After checking a third time she was officially half way through.

"Right, you want up then?"

"Hell yes. But um…"

"Yes?"

"Instead of the standing, can… can we try the walking?"

He thought for a moment, but then he decided to stay on the trust bandwagon. Alright, but keep up the communication, okay?"

"Of course Derek."

"How do you want to play this out?"

"Ah, I'll use the walker, but can you support me like at physio? We probably shouldn't try going too far. I don't know how long I'll last. Let's just stay in here and do lengths of the room."

Derek got her to a standing position. He moved his hands underneath her armpits, and got ready to support her. As she took steps, they started strong but then became shaky.

He tightened his hands as he supported more of her weight, but then he heard her breath hitch. She stopped in her tracks and started to worry.

"JJ, wha-"

"Derek, please move your hands."

He was confused, he had supported her at physio, what was different now? Then he clicked. Oh. His right hand had moved a little too close to her breast for her to be comfortable. Quickly he remedied that, but the moment seemed to be gone.

"I'm tired again Derek, I think that's all for today."

He couldn't help but feel disappointed in himself. Why didn't he think? Why wasn't her more careful? It had been going so well. She moved back to the bed and effectively shut herself off.

"I think I'll just rest until the team get here later."

She avoided eye contact. He couldn't tell if she had a problem with him or with the incident that had happened.

"JJ I- we should tal-"

"It's fine Derek. We can talk about it later. I just… need to process right now."

He felt apprehensive leaving her. "Okay but-"

"I'll drink the smoothie. Send Pen in for the glass later."

…

"Everything okay?" Pen asked when Derek came out.

"I… I'm not sure. We were doing great but then I accidently, um, touched her… breast and she clammed up. Literally from 100 to 0 in 5 seconds flat."

The two women looked concerned.

"Oh…"

"Yeah, she doesn't want to talk now. She said we can later though. She just wants to process."

"Okay, later then."

…

The rest of the day was quiet for the household. JJ stayed in her room and the other three tried to respect her wish for space. But as the afternoon neared, the team were going to start arriving one by one.

Penelope helped JJ get into her chair and Pen wheeled the blonde out of her room just in time to see to see Hotch entering the front door, presumably with Jack in tow. JJ couldn't but smile. Jack walked in laughing at his Dad, but then stopped dead in his tracks when he saw JJ.

His face dropped and he moved behind his father. JJ couldn't help but feel the hurt as her smile also faded.

Soo my goodness. I am so sorry that I haven't updated in forever. I have had a few big things going on in my family. Things have been crazy, and then I have had university work on top of it. I have missed writing and being a part of this wonderful community. I really am sorry that it has taken so long. I hope you like this and that people haven't given up on this story, or given up on me. Feel free to PM if you wanna chat. Or review or message with ideas for future chapters. I know the end goal, but I have sort of lost a bit of the flow I had with this story and really want to get it back so I can keep writing.

Thanks a bunch guys x