22

"Ms Prentiss, you are a smart woman. I think that you would know that it takes more than one session with me to be cleared."

Emily looked up at her therapist and half grinned. "Can you blame a girl for trying though?"

Hilary laughed. "I was warned that you would be a handful."

Emily looked at Hilary. "Should I take offense to that, or take it as a compliment?"

"That's up to you. Why would you feel that not wanting to talk in these sessions would be a compliment?"

Emily shook her head "Straight into it then?"

"Would you have it any other way?"

Prentiss rolled her eyes, "no, not really. Quicker we get this done, the quicker I'm cleared right?"

"Pending your physical evaluations, yes, that's correct."

…

Emily sauntered out of the office half looking smug, half looking pissed.

Derek didn't know whether to laugh or not. But he held it back and asked her a simple question instead.

"How did it go?"

"Great, I'm cleared."

"Really?!" Derek was shocked, but with Prentiss anything is possible.

Emily rolled her eyes. "No, I have another session booked in this week. This lady seems to think I have pent up issues after this, and that I need to deal with them or it could affect my ability to function as a part of the team when we are all back together."

Derek was slightly humbled and slightly confused that Emily had so willingly shared that with him.

"I see Princess. How do you feel about that?"

"Having my head be someone else's playing field for an indefinite number of sessions?"

"Ah… yeah?"

"Peachy…" she replied sarcastically. And then saw the genuine concerns written all over Derek's face. "It's going to suck, I can't lie about that. But I don't think it'll take too long. I hate talking to people I don't know, but I just want it over and done with. I'll tell her my concerns and move on. Right?"

Derek raised a brow. "Right. That simple huh?"

Emily rolled her eyes again. "Exactly, just that simple."

Derek tried to smoothly change the topic.

"What do you feel like eating Princess?"

"Oh, I'm not hungry."

"Oh. That's a shame, because you're gonna eat something. Baby Girl's orders."

Emily huffed. "Of course she sent you off with instructions."

"Did you expect anything otherwise?"

"No, not really."

Penelope was maternal and was doing her best to look after them all that's for sure.

…

Emily and Derek had been in the car for a while. A crash on the highway lead to a delay in their ability to get home. There were no exits ahead of them for a while, so it was a case of waiting it out.

The duo made quick work of their burgers and fries though. Once they'd finished eating, Emily let out a small sigh.

"You okay Princess?"

"Yeah, the sigh is like the human reset button. Just resetting myself."

"Why do you need to do that?"

"I don't know. Habit I guess."

"Why is it a habit?"

"Because I have thoughts, and when I want them to go away I just sigh and reset myself. Been that way ever since I can remember. "

Derek felt a bit of sorrow in his chest when he heard that. But also had questions.

"What was on your mind?"

"Nothing." A very quick and short response.

It was his turn to give an eye roll, and a bit of side eye.

"Prentiss, you know you can't pull that with me. You just admitted to thinking about something you probably wanted to talk about, but then decided you wanted to forget it, so tried your hardest to make yourself forget - and before you do or say anything else, don't give me the stink eye." Derek said while chuckling slightly.

He gave it a few moments, and then decided he was going to have to actively pry it out of her. She had clammed up tighter than a lid on a jar of 100 year old pickles.

"Is it about the other day?"

Emily was low key intrigued about what he thought 'the other nights' issue was. "What thing from the other day would that be?"

"You know… the chat that you had with Penelope."

Emily immediately felt like she was a child again and wanted to go into full sulk mode. It felt like Penelope and Derek had done a 'mum and dad' thing and were actively talking about her behind her back. If they talked about that, what else were they talking about?

"What I say to Penelope should be held in confidence."

Derek immediately went on the defensive. Emily could be sassy and ruthless when she was pissed. Bonus was, they were in a car, on the highway, with nowhere to go in this traffic. So he at least had time to talk her down. "Woah, woah, woah. It's not like that. Not at al-"

"Then what is it like Derek?" she mouthed angrily.

"Penelope just told me how you were feeling because she thought I should know. We are all living in very close quarters because of this whole nightmare. She wanted me to know that you were feeling left out and struggling with being forgotten. Solely so that she could remind me that both you and JJ need love and attention."

Death glares were wounding his heart. "Damn Prentiss. We talk because we care about you okay. Both of you."

Now Derek was the one feeling sassy and a bit upset. He was trying his best. What else did she want from him?

"You don't know what it's like being stuck on the side lines watching when two of your best friends are seriously injured. So much so that the recovery isn't just days. Its weeks and months of people's lives. You go through the motions of just praying that they are alive when you don't have them with you. And then when you do have them, the trauma is so much that you don't recognise them sometimes."

Emily looked at Derek and went to speak. But saw that he wasn't finished. The passion with which he was speaking showed how much this had been burdening his soul. He was emotional, and speaking with such brutal honesty, she couldn't help but feel for him and try to see his perspective.

"You try your best to be there. Wherever, and whenever. Every hour of the day and night. And then when you are there, you end up hurting them. You cause the flashbacks, and feel like you are just as bad as the son of a bitch who hurt them in the first place."

Derek was trying hard to keep his emotions in check.

There was a momentary stunned silence that filled the car. Emily was surprised that so much was pent up inside. Derek was surprised that he had let that loose on Emily. He had been trying his hardest to prevent himself from doing that to her or JJ.

He clenched his fists and his teeth. "Damn it!" And he punched out into thin air.

Emily took that moment to grab his balled up hand the best that she could.

"Derek, look at me."

He wouldn't, but allowed her to slowly release the fist that he had made with his hand.

"Derek Morgan, you better look at me right now. We are in stand still traffic so you have no damn excuse."

He took a moment, but eventually came around.

"I felt like this was hard on me. And then I kept thinking that if this is hard for me, then it must be ten times harder for JJ, because it feels like she has been going through something that is so much worse than what I endured. But that was it. That was kind of where it stopped for me… I'm sorry that I thought of neither you, nor Penelope sooner. It must be hard seeing this from your perspective. It's hard for me watching JJ. So it must be even harder for both of you. And I am so sorry I was such a little shit just then. Really… I know you guys care about me." She sighed. "Truth is, I didn't really feel as much support, but after Penelope and I talked, everything changed instantly. I'm really crappy at letting people know how I feel. And in general, just being okay with people knowing how I'm feeling. I'm still learning."

Derek twisted his lips, and then turned them into a smile.

"It's okay Princess. We are all learning right now."

Emily nodded, and agreed with him.

The rest of the drive home was kind of quiet. But Emily and Derek didn't let go of each other's hands until they pulled in the driveway.

…

"Here I'll get the door."

"Thanks Derek."

Walking into the living space, the pair were a bit more upbeat after clearing the air in the car.

However, the opposite could be said when they walked through the front door. The air was tense, and full of bad energy.

The duo looked at JJ and Penelope and felt the distress. JJ had her head in her hands and was rocking back and forwards slightly.

Garcia on the other hand was sitting there, a picture of stunned silence.

Derek had to ask twice what was wrong before there was any reply.

It was simple and matter of fact.

"Take a seat. We all need to talk. Now."

Hi there. So it has been two and a half years since I updated. I have still had some new followers and for that I am grateful. As well as that, new reviews. In the time since I last updated my life has changed a lot, and I feel like a different version of myself. In saying that, I would like to get this finished. I am different, and I don't know if that will appear to people in my writing. I just hope to do my best to honour the teenage version of myself that had such high hopes when this story was started.

Please leave a review if you are so inclined. They do mean the world, and a recent review is what kicked me into gear to really get started again.

Many thanks to those who have waited patiently. I'll do my best to make these updates a more regular occurrence.