PIE

Bakugo sat back in a lounge chair, basking in the shade of a parasol, watching Izuku through a pair of shades and sipping a pina colada through a curly straw.

Kirishima, slightly unnerved by the sight of Bakugo relaxing, strolled over and asked, "So, Bakubro. Buddy. Brother from another mother. What'cha up to? Plotting the next way to stop the robot invasion?"

"I've finally done it, Kirishima. The war is at an end."

"Uh, you have? Great!" Kirishima looked around. "How did you do it?"

"Just listen. Do you hear it?"

Kirishima listened. Izuku counted off, "Zero, seven, seven, three, four-"

"Is he counting?"

Bakugo grinned. "I told him to find every digit of pi. He's been counting for three hours straight."

"Is he going to stop anytime soon?"

Noisily sipping his drink, Bakugo said, "That's the beauty of it. Pi is an irrational number. There is no ending. Izuku is going to keep counting forever, and ever, and ever, and ever!"

"Five, five, three, seven, six, three, seven-"

"But what if he gets bored?" Kirishima asked. "He could just stop."

"He's a robot. He will never stop, not until the very end of the universe, when all else is dust." Bakugo raised his shades. "The robots are welcome to have the world then."

"Zero, six, three, seven-"

Sato came out, wearing a three-piece suit and holding a silver platter. He offered it to Bakugo, saying, "Your pie, sir."

Bakugo bit into the blueberry pie and licked his lips. "What better way to celebrate the salvation of man than by partaking of its deliverance?"

"Five, three, seven, zero, six, three, seven-"

"Did you get the idea because of pi day?"

Bakugo crossed his arms. "Did not."

"Dude, it was two weeks ago."

"That way the robots would never suspect a thing!"

"Five, three, one, eight, zero, zero, eight, six, one, eight-"

Mineta kicked down the door. "Did someone say big boobies?"

Bakugo snapped his fingers. Sato marched up, grabbed Mineta by the head, and shouted "Yeet!" Mineta flew through the ceiling and disappeared into the clouds.

"How far do you think he'll fly?" Kirishima asked.

"How should I know? I'm not a science guy."

"Seven, seven, one, eight, seven, seven, one, eight, seven, seven, one, eight."

Izuku stopped counting. Bakugo froze, pina colada halfway through the plastic curls, and his shades fell off his face. "Did you get stuck, gears for brains?"

"Calculation completed. Would you like a printout of the results?"

"The results of what?"

"Pi."

"No. That's impossible!"

"You are welcome to search my databanks. You know they will be correct."

Bakugo pointed a finger in his face. "Just you wait. I'll find an even bigger rational number, and you'll be counting until you rust!"

As Bakugo stormed off, Kirishima asked, "Did you really calculate all of pi?"

"Negative. I got bored."

"Cool. Hey, want some pie?"

"I would love some three point one four-"

Kirishima sighed and helped himself to pie as Izuku started counting once again.

500

Legend has it that Izuku is still counting to this day.

Lowkey kinda mad at myself for not having this idea on March 14th. Which, you know, was a Thursday.

Also, the numbers have a fun secret. ;)