Events of this chapter: A mini chapter for today. Shepard finally wakes up, a bit dazed and confused..

Author's note: This chapter was revised on 06/10/2023. Updated for minor changes to prose and dialogue tags, but story and dialogue remain unchanged.

PART I
Chapter 8: Tamarack*

5 months after the Reaper War

Shepard walked along the bank of a winding stream. The sun had thrown off its grey winter blanket, and under each footstep the ragged snow gave way to earth; the snow thawed, steadily dripping from the bare tips of the tees that lined the bank. Soon, the grasses would grow again. The trees would sprout soft, feathery needles for sipping sunlight, and new saplings would emerge, earnestly reaching above and below them for a chance to live.

Shepard heard a voice calling in the distance. It echoed through the surrounding woods, filling the empty spaces between rocky outcrops.

Shepard...

Wake up, Commander.

Shepard, do you hear me?

She heard the words, as clear as the meltwater that raced downstream. That voice...those words. This has happened before. Hasn't it? "This facility is under attack." Shepard's heart began to pound uncontrollably as she recalled waking up in a medical wing, the voice urging her to get off the table and grab a gun. Fight, her body told her. She hurried along the bank, breaking into a sprint as she let her legs take over.

"Dr. Paulsen, her heart rate is spiking!" yelled Miranda.

"Sedative, Dr. Marques," ordered Dr. Paulsen

"Administering sedative now," replied Dr. Marques.

Shepard recognized the other voices—a woman with a slight Portuguese accent and a man's gravelly baritone. She wasn't sure who they were, but she had heard them before. Stop, wait, she told herself. Her heart began to slow.

"Heart rate has returned to normal range," said Miranda. "Commander Shepard, can you hear me?

Shepard's eyes rolled back and forth, searching for the source of the words. She had seen and heard so many things in her dreams, but this was the first time a voice had felt so close.

Miranda placed her hand on Shepard's to comfort her. She watched Shepard's face as her eyelids rose, then dropped again.

"Shepard? It's Miranda."

Shepard's eyes opened. She angled her head towards Miranda's face, straining to keep it in focus as the world faded in from the edges.

"Welcome back, Commander." Miranda said softly. "You've been away for a little while."

Bleary, Shepard turned her head toward the other two faces in the room.

"Hello Commander Shepard, I'm one of your doctors, Dr. Paulsen. This is my colleague, Dr. Marques," the male doctor announced.

"Hello, Commander," said Dr. Marques. "You may be feeling a bit strange and very weak right now—you've just come out of a coma. This is perfectly normal as the drugs wear off.

Shepard tried to process what the doctor had just said, but the ideas swimming in her head were lost in the turbidity of waking. She was halfway between here and the forest.

Miranda turned her attention to Dr. Paulsen. "It may be best if I sit alone with her right now. What do you think?"

Dr. Paulsen performed a scan with his omnitool.

"She seems stable enough for now. Let us know if she becomes too agitated or confused," he advised. "If you'll excuse us, Commander. We'll be back to check on you later."

"Miranda nodded, acknowledging the doctors as they slipped out of the room.

"Are you uncomfortable? You've been lying in that bed for a long time, I imagine everything must hurt right now."

Like a fogged-up mirror swiped clean with a hand, a part of her memory cleared and she could sees herself again.

"M...Miranda."

"Yes, it's me."

"Jacob?"

"He's not here."

Shepard squinted as she surveyed the room. "It's so bright in here."

"We're aboard the SSV Osaka, the Alliance hospital vessel."

"Did I die?"

"No, you were trapped under heavy debris on the Citadel. But you were alive when they found you. Three days you spent like that...you're a tough woman to kill, Shepard."

Shutting her eyes briefly, Shepard saw the stream, the larches, the rocky outcrops free of snow, and the sun's light ramified through the canopy of the forest.

"Ugh, I feel like crap," she moaned.

"That's no surprise. You've had a lot of work done. We managed to heal your wounds, but you'll find your muscles are quite weak. We felt it best to leave them alone. You'll need to strengthen them the old-fashioned way."

Shepard tried to sit up, only to find she hadn't moved more than a couple of centimeters before she fell back down to the bed.

Miranda placed her hand on Shepard's shoulder. "Don't try anything yet. You just woke up from a months long coma, you'll need lots of time to recover."

Another swipe at the foggy mirror.

"On the Citadel...was I alone?" asked Shepard.

"Yes, and in a part of the Citadel where no one is allowed," answered Miranda.

"I could swear there was someone else there..."

"Your thoughts and memories might feel mixed up for the next few days. Don't think too hard, just let it come back to you, and it will, eventually."

"It's like a dream. Like I'm still dreaming..." Shepard said quietly. "Who were those people talking to me earlier?"

"Dr. Paulsen and Dr. Marques. They're your doctors, they kept you alive."

"What about you?"

"Me? I'm just here to help. No one knows more about your cybernetic implants than I do. Fortunately for you, they were able to track me down."

As she took stock of what she had heard so far, Shepard let herself feel the aches and pains in her body. "My leg! It feels weird!" she shouted in a garbled voice.

"That...they were forced to amputate your leg below the knee. It was the only way to keep you alive. But as you can see, we were able to reconstruct it in full." Miranda glanced down at the Commander's legs. "It might feel a little foreign right now, but I promise it will work as before."

Shepard was silent for a few moments as she let her eyes settle on the worn ceiling panels directly above her.

"Where is everyone?" she asked.

"Who?"

"The Normandy crew."

"It's been five months since the end of the war. The Normandy was stranded on another planet, for a time. They all went their separate ways after they returned to Earth."

Shepard's throat tightened.

"We did it? We defeated them?"

Miranda nodded.

"….And everyone is safe? The galaxy..."

"Absolutely, one hundred percent."

Tears began to bead at the corners of Shepard's eyes.

"You should know that every one of the crew came to visit while you were in hospital. There wasn't a day that went by that someone wasn't here visiting you. You were never alone."

Shepard let the tears come. Now that survival was no longer a question, she could let them fall freely, just this once.

Song: "Hold On" – Alabama Shakes
Bless my heart, bless my soul / Didn't think I'd make it to 22 years old / There must be someone up above / Saying, "Come on, Brittany, you got to come on up"

* Western larch (or Western tamarack) is a unique conifer tree that grows in the interior of the Pacific Northwest and British Columbia/Alberta. Unlike other conifers, its needles turn a beautiful golden yellow in the autumn, then drop off before winter. The tree does this to store nutrients for the winter. This gives it an advantage over other conifers in a tough climate-it's less likely to break under heavy snow, and new needles every year give it resistance to fire damage. It is a pioneer species that often grows in areas damaged by fire. A truly beautiful tree that stands out in the autumn/early winter.