FTAWM Chapter 15 (Dec. 16th)
Eric POV
I woke comfortably but frowned as I rolled over to find the bed empty. She was gone and had been for some time if I was to judge by the chill on her side of the bed. I didn't know how she'd slipped away, I usually was a light sleeper and she'd been so close last night. I rolled onto my back and let out a contented sigh. Progress was in sight if last night was any indication. I'd clearly stated my intentions and feelings, now I just had to continue proving them. Faith would come around…I had to continue to believe that.
On the other hand, I hadn't gotten to discuss the children with her at all, and that needed to be addressed. I felt I deserved some background as I had done as she'd asked and figured out the groundwork myself. I rolled myself out of bed, dressed for the day and headed downstairs.
Faith POV
I let the scalding water pour over me as I slowly breathed in the steam. The water was uncomfortably hot, but I let it continue, feeling it would burn away last night's catastrophe. I'd let my guard down too much and Eric had taken full advantage. I wanted to blame it all on his experiment with my fear, but I knew that truthfully it would've come out regardless of his manipulation. And boy, had it come out. I'd told so much, I'd exposed my psyche, and Eric had taken it all calmly and without complaint and then suddenly challenged it. And worst of all, I'd started to believe him. I'd started to wonder if, in fact, it was true.
"Stupid, Faith, stupid," I muttered to myself, turning toward the stream of water letting it scald my face.
I think part of you believes me. I think part of you knows that I won't do any of these things you accuse me of. His words wouldn't stop ringing in my head. As if he had any basis for his claims.
But that part of you also knows that the moment you give up those accusations is the moment you have to move forward and reconstruct every idea you have about me.
"Oh, I have plenty of ideas about you, Eric," I laughed harshly.
It's the moment you have to reevaluate our relationship, my motives, your wants, our future, and, frankly, darling – I think that terrifies you.
I shut off the tap abruptly, shivering at the immediate chill that set in and grabbed my towel, wrapping myself in it and then sliding down onto the floor of the shower as tears pricked at my eyes, my towel immediately soaked.
As hard as it seems for you to accept, I do actually care and don't just want to, as you so eloquently put it, 'get in your pants'.
"Shut up," I whimpered quietly, my hands pressing into my temples.
I love you. I want to make you happy; that's my priority.
"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" I finally yelled, the sound bouncing back at me dully, masked mostly by the fan and the shower walls. "You can't possibly love me, you want to because it would make everything easier, but you can't – you don't. God, to think how much I wanted to buy it last night!" I said, the tears burning in my eyes, a few overflowing to run down my cheeks. After a while, the tears stopped, and I stood, exiting the shower and changing into a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and Simon's flannel. As I stood in front of the mirror, putting my hair into a bun and combing out my too-long bangs, I carefully composed myself splashing some cold water on my tearstained face. "I can't fall for it," I vowed to myself in the mirror. "No matter how much I want to."
Eric POV
"Good morning," I said gently, finding Faith in the library, the twins with her absorbed in their own books. I spared a glance at the twins, settled on separate couches, each with a book they had stopped reading. Eleanor smiled at me; Solomon glared. Faith looked up, surrounded by notecards and wearing an oversized flannel that rang a distant bell. I noticed her hair was damp, indicating she'd showered that morning outside of our room. It was a subtle but clear reminder that her trust was far from won. She gave an empty smile.
"Good morning," she answered, looking back to her task, bringing my attention to what she was doing. She had taken some of the notecards we used for her lessons and had the record open in front of her as well as a notebook full of small phrases and questions.
"May I ask what you're doing?" I said sitting next to her.
"Just physicalizing the stuff I've been reading about," she said, "And helping Ellie and Ollie with their books."
"Is there any way I can help?" I asked.
"Nope, I'm fine. No need," she answered brusquely, not meeting my eye as she dove back into her task. I decided to let it sit, for now.
"Eleanor?" I turned slightly to her.
She perked up, "Yes?"
"You think you can find Marissa from here?" I challenged, "I've left our notebook upstairs for our lessons, can you ask her to bring it down? Tell her there's no rush though, lessons can wait until after dinner."
She practically lit up, as she climbed down from the couch to stand next to me. "I'll try!" she said closing her eyes and a frown of concentration creasing her forehead. "I think I've got her," she said unsurely.
"Let her know you're there," I encouraged, "then she might open a link for you."
She was silent for a few moments and broke into a grin, "It worked, it worked!" she bounced excitedly, "Hi, Marissa!"
"Ask her to bring down the notebook, please," I prompted.
"Eric wants to know if you can bring down his notes when you come down." a long pause, "We're in the library…yes, everyone…Okay! You're the best! He says 'no hurry' by the way." Her eyes suddenly snapped open glowing with excitement. "I did it I did it!"
I grinned with pride, "That was wonderful, fata mea. Talentele tale continua sa impresioneze."
"Esti un profesor bun, Tati," she said, the final word tacked on hesitantly.
I gawked at her, almost losing my composure completely. I stole a glance at Solomon and saw my shock reflected on his face, quickly followed by cold rage – he knew what she'd said as well.
"I'm quite certain I didn't teach you that word," I continued softly in Romanian.
She smiled mischievously, "Stiu," she said. (I know.) Before the moment could linger, she turned and galloped over to her brother, grabbing his arm, "Ollie come on, let's go play a game, I'm bored of my book," She said, switching back to English and dragging him off the couch. He gave one last glare at me and conceded, the two of them leaving the library.
"Don't run in the house," Faith called after them before turning to me with a frown, "Is something wrong? I only caught bits and pieces of that exchange."
"Nothing, love," I said quickly, "I just told Eleanor I was impressed with her talents, and she said I was a good teacher. Now, what is this task you've undertaken?"
She looked less than convinced but went ahead and explained she was making an ancestral tree. I tried to listen and appear engaged, and I honestly would've been had Eleanor not just thrown me so off-balance. I mentally shook myself and focused, trying to avoid rousing Faith's suspicion. After all, I wasn't about to tell Faith that Eleanor had just called me 'dad'.
Faith POV
Something was off about Eric's explanation, but I didn't let it bother me. Instead, I focused on the fact that we were alone together, again, and I'd be forced to confront the revelations of last night. So, I did my best to avoid it, going in-depth with the project I'd set myself on: tracing the family tree through the records. Silence fell and stretched thin as I continued to label notecards, thumbing through the text. Hadrion and Isabelle led to Lucan and Calia. Lucan and Calia to Lydia and Julia. Julia and Julia and Phillip had Phillip II and Sophia, which led to Phillip II and…and the trail ended. I huffed in annoyance, how could it just end there? Where did Vladimir and Mina come from?
"How are you feeling this morning?" Eric prodded interrupting my thoughts.
I hummed noncommittally, still not looking over at him, doggedly absorbed in the current chapter on Phillip and Julia. I laid it flat and pulled my hair out of the bun, absentmindedly shaking it out with my hands and letting it fall.
Phillip and his two brides lived harmoniously, raising both children and preparing Phillip II to take over the mantle of Dracula. Unfortunately, it was never to be. Phillip, his mortal bride Julia, and Phillip II were all brutally murdered in Vladimir's takeover however, Julia Vok de Guis escaped. Sophia was taken hostage as a bride to further legitimize Vladimir's play for the Dracula position.
"So, we're not talking about last night?" He interrupted again after another prolonged silence.
"Haven't we talked enough lately?" I retorted somewhat snippily as I turned the page and found that the chapter had simply ended. "What the hell?" I said to myself under my breath.
"I don't think so," he said. I didn't deign to respond. "We have plenty of topics to cover," he continued easily.
"I'd rather not," I said, my tone clipped as I wrote out another two notecards, "Vladimir" and "Sophia" both followed by question marks as I'd seen no evidence of such a match. I noted such on my scratch paper.
"Faith," he chided, his tone light but a very present edge in his voice, "you're running again."
"I'm not," I said dismissively, still not looking up, completely, "I merely have better things to do than entertain you."
That struck a nerve; Eric let out an exasperated huff, "It's always two steps forward and two steps back with you," he said. I looked up, ready to fire back a retort, but he merely challenged me with a raised eyebrow. I clammed up and averted my gaze again.
"Can we have an adult conversation or are you going to insist on being difficult?" he asked.
"I'm trying to work something out here!" I exclaimed, gesturing at the books and notecards in front of me.
"Will you put it aside for a moment?" he asked, his tone turning surprisingly sincere.
I rolled my eyes, I wasn't going to get anywhere with him like this. Time to face the music, "Fine."
"Why did you leave this morning?" he asked.
"I wanted to take a shower," I said flatly, "is that allowed?" I asked sarcastically. I was determined not to revisit any of last night's emotions.
He ignored the jab, "I seem to remember there being a perfectly functional shower in our rooms," he said.
"I seem to remember there was highly manipulative vampire in those rooms," I bit back. "Who made me say and reveal things I had no intention of saying or revealing."
He looked surprisingly hurt at that comment, "I thought we had an understanding last night, Faith."
"Ugh, screw your understandings," I heard an exasperated sigh from the doorway and saw Marissa leaning against the frame, looking slightly disheveled but smiling blithely, "Geez, you two are wound tighter than a pocket watch."
"Marissa-" Eric seemed ready to warn, but she paid no heed.
"Eric, let me know next time when you're going to experiment with El's capabilities. You're lucky I had enough of my wits about me to open a non-visual connection. I was doing something important she definitely should not see." she said, sauntering in. She stopped and set a notebook on a nearby table.
"What could you possibly have been doing that was so important, Marissa?" Eric asked somewhat sarcastically.
"Max," she answered offhandedly, raising an eyebrow in amusement. I could barely suppress a small bout of spluttering laughter at that. "Now, if you two could just get over yourselves I think you could screw your way to an understanding instead of tip-toeing around each other like this. Might I suggest you move back to the bedroom? Though I guess the library isn't the worst place for you two to shag each other silly," she continued lightly.
Eleanor POV
"What was that?!" Ollie yelled at me the moment we were out of range, pulling away from me.
"What?" I asked innocently.
"You know what, Ellie, you called him 'dad', did you think I wouldn't realize?"
"No, I knew you would," I answered.
"Then why are you letting him replace Simon!" Ollie screamed, "he's not really our dad, Simon is. Simon raised us and loved us and cared for Mom."
"I think Eric will do the same," I said resolutely.
"That's stupid! He hurt mom! All he does is make her cry." Ollie yelled.
"No, he doesn't! And you'd know that if you gave him half a chance! He just wants mom to be happy!" I yelled back.
"I'm going to my room. Don't follow me," he said with a scowl.
"FINE I WON'T."
"FINE."
"FINE." I repeated louder and then Ollie slammed the door, finishing the conversation.
Eric POV
Faith turned indignant on a dime, "What the hell, we'll – I'll do no such thing, Rissa!"
Marissa simpered, "You would if you just get over yourself. Hell, the two of you are driving Max and I insane, just…fuck, figure it out – both ideally," she finished and turned her back to walk out of the library.
"Thanks for your unwanted input," Faith muttered.
Marissa turned back, crossing her arms as she stepped into the room again and leaned against the nearest bookshelf. "What? Is this really where you want to sit indefinitely? Same argument, same stalemate, day after week after year? Clutching to your same straws so desperately?"
"May I remind you that these 'straws' you're writing off are you know…crimes," Faith shot back – feigned nonchalance with a biting edge.
"Oh yes, I forgot – you haven't committed any of those," Marissa shot back immediately with a sickening sweetness to her voice.
I could have sworn the temperature in the room rose five degrees as I sat there unable…well, unwilling to intervene. Marissa was certainly pushing her luck. "How dare you," Faith practically hissed, jumping to her feet.
"How dare I point out the facts?"
"How dare you pretend the two are comparable! It was an accident, Marissa! I lost control because I was absolutely terrified! I had no choice!"
"You're right, absolutely no relation to the absolute terror of losing another bride along with your throne to your sworn enemy while having no control over the societal situation that's forcing your hand," Marissa said with little inflection, examining her nails and generally appearing unbothered by the power radiating off of Faith, who was practically vibrating now.
"Shove off, Marissa, before I update my criminal record."
"I'm not the one you're angry at, Faith," she said coolly, meeting my bride's gaze pointedly, "And, surprisingly, he's not either," she said with a quick nod in my direction, "maybe you should evaluate what you're really reacting to." She said with surprising gentleness before exiting. "I'll be keeping the twins busy for an hour or so. I expect progress when I see you next," she threw back over her shoulder as she closed the door decidedly behind her, leaving Faith and me in shocked silence, snuffing out Faith's rage as quickly as it had ignited.
I watched Faith carefully as she shakily drew a breath in and out and then grabbed her small pile of notecards, notebook, and the record and started to exit.
"Where are you going?" I finally spoke up.
"I can't do this right now. I came to the library for a quiet day mapping out these damn records and reading with the kids," she responded voice thick with emotion as she turned her back to me.
"You're running," I prodded carefully.
"No, I'm goddamn sprinting!" She yelled, turning sharply. "Why do we always have to come around to this! I won't change my mind, Eric. I don't care what you put Marissa up to."
"That was none of my doing. Apparently, she has a death wish today." I paused before continuing carefully, "She's right though, neither of us is the cause of your anger," I said calmly.
She didn't respond for a bit, refusing to meet my eyes. Taking a deep breath, she finally spoke after a long drawn out silence.
"Fine. I'm not prepared for what you're asking of me. I don't know what you want, you've said a lot of different things. I don't trust you enough not to take advantage of my power or... me in general, because you have done it before on both accounts." she said quietly. She leaned against the wall holding her materials to her chest as she decided to continue.
"And, honestly the worst part is I-I want to believe you. I know it doesn't seem like it, but I just can't shake the feeling that if I do, I'm giving up or falling into some sort of master plan of yours and letting you win."
She paused and drew out a long, defeated sigh. "And I know that this has progressed past anybody winning or losing. Both you and Marissa have pointed out how pyrrhic any victory would be - it wouldn't be a victory at all in the end. But I just," she finally met my gaze, hot tears shining in her eyes, "I hate that I want this. I hate that I want to believe you, Eric, it all just makes me angry. I didn't ask for this and it makes me incensed beyond words that you took my future away to suite your own. It galls me that my only path to happiness now directly intertwines with your happiness as well. I deserve happiness, but not one that feels so hollow and twisted."
I carefully stood, but made to move to close the distance between us. "Forgive me for any satisfaction I draw from that confession. It's not my intention to make you war with yourself." I paused for a while, "Would it bring you any solace to know I feel the same?"
She frowned; her skepticism palpable. "You do deserve happiness, love," I continued, "More than anyone I know. And I promise it kills me to hear the way you lay out our future – all the bleak roles you see yourself taking in our relationship…and I have to make one a reality because of the mistakes I've made. Neither of us gets our version of happiness because of the way I abused your trust and abused you in general. And you're right, it's completely unfair to you," I said quietly, watching a silent tear roll down her cheek. "But if you can find a way to let me make you happy, to build a new happiness together, I swear it will be my greatest priority to preserve that for the rest of my existence. I only want to make you happy, and selfishly, that will make me happy too."
We stood in silence, the distance between us feeling like a chasm, before I decided to prod her toward new territory, "What did you picture? Before Simon, before me. Before everything, what did you envision for your life?" I asked.
She was silent for a while, "I don't know if I can truly say I had a plan back then," she finally answered. "That was so long ago, and I'm such a different person now." Her gaze became distant, "but I did have plans for my family."
"What kind of plans?" I asked softly.
She stood back up straight and started wandering around the perimeter of the room, brushing the spines of the books idly as she passed. "I was going to get my college degree and work from home, probably just freelance, but there was always the hope I would be hired by someone more serious if I could prove myself," she relented. "And Simon was almost done with his residency, we always dreamed of a future with Simon and I both employed, able to plan a portion of each summers to travel. We wanted to see the world slowly. Wanted Ellie and Ollie to see it too."
She stopped short at one of the windows looking out longingly, "why do you care? It's past, it's done, there's no point in dwelling on it," she turned inward again, scanning the library and then meeting my eyes again with a grim smile, "I'm resigned to familiarizing myself with this place for the rest of my life."
Faith POV
I saw Eric's face cloud with worry, "Why do you say that?"
I shrugged, "I'll have to pass the time somehow once you add me permanently to your trophy case of a house."
He paled, "Faith, that's not it at all."
I waved a hand in front of me with annoyance, as if brushing away his words, as I put my materials down on a sidetable, "Look if you're going to just insist again on the fact I'm not a trophy, whatever, fine, but my point-"
"I wouldn't dream of confining you here," he interrupted as he moved into arms reach, "This," he said gesturing generally before taking my hands, "this is only until we establish ourselves."
"What?" I asked, blindsided. "W-What?"
"This is our…main office, per se," he explained patiently, "The Dracula is free to live anywhere. We host court here a few times yearly and are expected to occupy it with a certain frequency, maybe a year or so every decade. But this," he met my gaze with intention, "this place need not be our home."
"I- what? You mean, I-I don't…" I trailed off, unable to complete the thought, it was too good to be true. I didn't dare believe it. I felt tears prick at my eyes, "I don't understand," I said choking on my tears.
"I wouldn't dare keep you tied here, love. Those plans you had are ones you can still have – and so many more." he coaxed. "You wanted to see and experience the world. You wanted to travel and explore, maybe even in your wildest dreams you wanted to live elsewhere. I can give that to you if that's what you desire. The world is your oyster - learn what you want to learn, live where you want to live, explore what you want to explore."
"And the catch?"
"An eternity by my side?" he questioned lightly.
I tentatively moved closer, searching his gaze for signs of deceit, a tear trickling down my face. He carefully took my hand and pressed and ardent kiss in its palm and I felt an involuntary shiver run through me. I inwardly cursed at myself for responding to such an innocuous gesture.
"I will give you the life you deserve, Faith, I swear it," he murmured, and pressed another quick kiss to my hand and holding it to his chest. "Unfortunately, I believe something else is standing in the way of that future," he said, suddenly very grave.
"Something else?" I repeated, my voice tight with emotion.
He nodded, looking tired, "I need to know about Solomon."
Marissa POV
"Rissa, you're supposed to stay out of their mess," Max whined at me as I straddled his lap once more.
"Oh, come on," I sighed in exasperation, "I did them a favor and besides," I said kissing him soundly, "they interrupted us earlier, it doubles as payback," I finished with a wicked grin as I wiggled a little, intent on regaining Max's full attention.
Max groaned, "As much as I'd like to continue, I think we should check in on El and Solomon."
"They're not OUR kids," I whined back, kissing him again.
"They are until we get their parents stable," he warned before turning impish "Come on, think of it as future guilt trips. We'll be able to get anything out of Faith and Eric in the future."
"If they have one," I mumbled, finally moving off and sitting beside him. "Fine, let's go. You're such a spoilsport."
He leaned over and kissed my forehead with a smile, "You love me anyways."
A/N: nope. No defense for leaving this for two years. I'm a monster. Is anyone even reading this anymore? Idk but goddamn it, I'm going to finish it for MEEE. k byee.