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Chapter 5

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"Miss Featherington, there you are!" His voice was warm and happy and when she turned toward him, his face matched his tone. He seemed so serious normally but pleasure took over his face whenever he saw her or spoke to her. There were real feelings there forming on his behalf and she knew she could have fallen for him had it not been for Colin's existence or interference. Had Colin stayed away this season, she would have been safely married to Lord Debling by the time she saw Colin again, she was convinced of it. It would be so easy to put all of her in his hands if she wasn't constantly being pulled back by someone who had no real interest, who didn't realize he was playing with her and her feelings.

She had to find a way to break free completely. Until then, she supposed she could do what she could to convince herself of the merits of doing so. She had to stay open to the possibility of real feelings toward Lord Debling, she did like him, a lot.

"Lord Debling, how are you?" Portia greeted, bustling over to him and pulling Penelope with her. Lord Debling was walking toward them as well and they met about two feet away from where Penelope was standing with Colin.

Colin closed the gap by strolling over after them, not appearing offended to being left by himself even though they had clearly been talking. "Mr. Bridgerton." Lord Debling greeted when he joined them. "I just parted ways with your sister and Miss Cowper, it was a fascinating conversation. Your sister certainly has a lot of views."

"Views Miss Featherington shares." Colin responded, almost pointedly. "I have heard them speak many times on the matters." She could have stepped on his foot and twisted if she were closer, instead she would have to be satisfied with a glare tossed in his direction, which he ignored.

"I am pleased to hear that." Lord Debling looked to Penelope. "The world needs more equality in all capacities. I feel as if you would be a force of change."

Penelope tilted her head, she had not thought to use her writings to purposefully sway public opinion for broad stroke changes, she had been more concerned about changing life for those she knew on a more intimate manner. Perhaps both could be done.

"Not my sister?" Colin asked, trying to pull focus.

"Your sister is quite passionate and educated on the matters." Lord Debling conceded but he held back what else he may have wanted to say. Penelope knew though what he did not say, Eloise's style was to basically shout it at you, demanding change and only those already like minded or wanting to hear her would, to a point. She had good intentions and smart ideas and if people listened, the world would change. The trouble was, she turned people off, they stopped listening when she got started in one of her rants. She was never dismissed completely due to her rank but they only tuned in when she was calmer and conversed rather than talked at people.

Penelope had a much softer approach, direct and to the point when she spoke and was very creative and visceral with her imagery when she wrote. She listened and responded and made quips as needed, she changed hearts and minds when she was brave enough to talk. These days, bravery was coming more and more and people sat up and listened to what she had to say when before they did not even know she had a voice. If she met resistance, she would not back down, she would firm her stance or find another path. She did not forge through a brick wall, she found the cracks and picked at them.

Well, all except in her own personal life. She could not stand up to her mother or sisters face to face, she chose to do so only in her writings. She did not voice her feelings out loud and directly to those who were on the receiving end of them. She was too afraid of losing what she had. It was a wonder she was able to share what she did with Lord Debling. He saw her so clearly.

It was even more impressive since he had only known her for just over a week. Maybe it was easier to see when you were new to the conversation, you hadn't had to watch it slowly form over years, easy to miss the changes or what had always been there, hidden beneath everything else. Although others had come in and missed it too.

Portia gave a small laugh. "My daughter, Lord Debling? I am sure you are confusing her for another."

"I don't believe so." Lord Debling offered his arm to Penelope. "May we stroll the promenade as planned? Perhaps down by the river where it is a little cooler?"

"Certainly." Penelope tried hard not to look at Colin as she wrapped her arm around his. She was pleased that she managed it, that was until they turned toward the river and she turned her head just a bit more to look at him. He appeared unbothered by the change and even gave her a nod of farewell but she noticed far more about Colin Bridgerton than most people did. She noted the fisted hands at his side, the tense set of his shoulders and how the smile didn't look as easy as it normally did.

"Miss Featherington-" Lord Debling pulled her attention toward him and it was harder than it should have been. She had wanted to go back and sooth the lines that appeared on his forehead and lips, massage his shoulders and take his hands into hers, making the fists go away. It was the second call of her name that snapped her to attention and finally put Colin out of view as her head turned to Lord Debling. He never quite left her thoughts completely though.

It was a pleasant stroll and a good conversation. He was quite complimentary of her choice of dress and color, her brain and her personality and even her looks. She couldn't remember the last time someone complimented her. Sure, some took the easy way and talked about how fetching her dress was, but the dress could be on any one and it would get complimented. He complimented her discerning eye and choice of fabrics and how it complimented her beauty, all her choices and he acknowledged that. Since it was day-time, her fabric choices were a lot lighter in tone, more of those pastels she knew she would fade in were they indoors. Since it was outside with a lot of vibrant colors around her, she stood out more with the paler tones and it wasn't quite so hot. He complimented her evening dresses as well.

They also just spoke, they talked about so many different things. She learned that his given name was Alfred and he was the oldest of four brothers, all of whom were either married or in the clergy. His eldest of brothers was the one who tended to the estate while he was gone. His wife was a pleasant woman who was busy with five children and so would not be meddling in Penelope's business but would be a good friend. They had a small home on the property but on the far end. They also had rooms at the main house if they chose to reside there but in a different wing than his. His father was deceased for over two years and his mother was pressing him to find a wife that she could dote upon and more babies that she could help care for. She had her own residence along the sea but she liked to visit.

So Penelope learned that she wouldn't be completely alone or unoccupied while he was gone, he'd made it sound far lonelier than it would really be. Though they wouldn't always be visiting either, and so there would be long stretches of being mostly alone save for the servants. He wasn't opposed to attending court until she was pregnant and then they could host one ball a year and have a few other social outings but he didn't see the point to being present to the rest of the events. He would not hold her back from attending though, as long as she was with Eloise or one of her siblings or mother or his own mother or sister-in-laws, but they were less inclined to attend.

When Penelope pointed out that it wasn't just socializing but networking, a backdoor into conversations that couldn't be held at parliament or other formal gatherings. He concluded that was true too and that he would be open to anything she deemed would help further their causes. He did admit that he could always go to some of the gentleman's clubs and network more but he had never been as much of a fan of those outings.

Penelope had only snippets from the elder Bridgerton men, having no brothers of her own to learn from, and a few comments made by their sisters. She had a general sense of what went on but she was sure she was missing a big portion of the picture.

"Shall we head back?" Alfred asked, he insisted she called him that at least in her head for now, get used to it before it became appropriate to do so in public. It did seem wrong, but she knew it was only because of the unfamiliarity with the name. She called pretty much everyone else in her life by their first names except her mother. She couldn't very well call him Lord Debling in her mind if she was pursuing this courtship, not that either of them had outright called it that, but they both knew that was where this was heading.

"Might as well see the reason for today's outing." She agreed and while she had been in the tent, she hadn't been up close to the balloon itself.