The DA continued, the sessions even grimmer now that they were down to five. They just practised in quiet, Ginny beginning to dip into the Death Eaters' arsenal. It felt wrong to see curses like Dolohov's purple flame whip flying through the room, called forth from five wands and burning into the dummies. She knew spells like that were wrong. Came with a cost even, if so many of the Order were to be believed. But what else could they do? Rookwood would laugh at their stunners. He had done so before.
But even amidst darkness, there was light. One week before Easter break, Colin returned. There was a hesitation to his gait, and every other step he reached for Dennis for support, but they were both back. Five became seven again. And when after the session, Colin asked her if she could teach him the Transmogrifian Torture curse, she didn't have it in her to say no. If he dreamt of a day where he could turn it on Rookwood, well the bloodthirstiness was unnerving but hardly unexpected. And who was she to deny him?
And still, even as they practised and Colin called forth the curse, the destruction was lacking. Even the time she'd unleashed it upon Nott, it had wreaked greater havoc. She didn't wish to dwell on what that meant.
Only that you're special. Better. My diary didn't just find its way to you because you were susceptible.
So in the end, she taught him a few other ones that should also do the trick. It made her wonder what distinguished all these spells though, what made one more terrible than the other. And if there was still a point in drawing a line between these and the Three Unforgivable Curses.
Don't let me stop you.
Dolores Umbridge appointed Head of Muggleborn Registration Commission
She should have seen it coming. She should have still taken precautions. And yet… And yet… And yet she'd hoped that somehow, Voldemort would draw a line somewhere, or if not he, at least his advisers. And therefore, they'd all been surprised when the Muggleborns were rounded up one morning during breakfast and taken away for registration. The Ministry officials promised the Muggleborns would return after the Easter Break. After all, no point in them making the return journey to Hogwarts for one measly day.
But as Dennis and Colin were taken away, Ginny feared she'd never see them again. Whatever inspiration the basilisk had brought, it faded along with the school's Muggleborn population.
That night, the DA returned to five. There was an air of finality to their practice session, as if no one was sure if they'd still return after Easter. If they'd still live after Easter. When Chang said as much, Susan just shrugged.
"For you all, perhaps. I'm staying at Hogwarts. Fulmen Atenor!" Lightning cracked the sky and its brilliant light lit up the room for a second until it struck a dummy. The target rattled and burst into flames. "It's not as if there's anywhere for me to go home to."
They all exchanged looks, unsure what to say. Padma had tried to console Susan after she'd made a similar proclamation last week, and the Ravenclaw had nearly gotten her nose bitten off for it. Ginny could sympathise: being treated like the victim never felt good.
Instead, she opted for practicality. "Then what will you do during the summer?"
"I'm an adult in June. That means I'll be free to do whatever I want then, as I'm not a Muggleborn," she spat out, blowing up a second dummy with a spell Ginny was quite sure she hadn't shown the group. It seems several people were doing independent study at this point. "I was thinking though… Can you get me in touch with the Order? I don't think I care much for N.E.W.T.'s at this point. Knowing the current regime, our DADA exam might have us torturing a muggle."
Ginny hesitated and Susan scoffed. "Come on, Ginny, it's a public secret by now. At least among us. What do you think we gossip about when you and Astoria are not around?"
Ginny resisted the urge to sigh as she nodded her head in assent. Perhaps Susan was right, but why hadn't the Ministry lashed out at her family then? You'd think that they'd be eager to get the last resistance out of the way, rather than worry about Muggleborns.
Unless of course…
Unless…
She had only received an owl from Percy, no one else.
Her hand began to tremble and her scars burned as a realisation she'd been repressing for weeks now finally broke through.
Would she return to a burnt-down Burrow for Easter? Was that why Percy had dissembled? Because he didn't know how to tell her everyone else was gone?
She was vaguely aware of sinking to her knees and hugging herself as the rest gathered around her. It was like being near a Dementor, only this time she didn't need them to bring forth her worst nightmares. She could see it before her eyes, each time she blinked. The twins: dead. Bill and Fleur: dead. Dad: dead. Mum: dead. The last time she blinked, her vision didn't return.
Was everything already lost? Would Dolohov be waiting for her at the Burrow to finish what he started? Was that why the flashbacks had decreased? Because the present had caught up in horror?
Stop that, Tom chided her. I despise teenage histrionics.
Her friends were holding on to her, shaking her. She could feel her cheek stung as someone slapped her—probably Chang. But none of it really got through. The fear was everywhere. Her brain felt fuzzy, as if she'd eaten too much ice cream. And her scars seemed to be stretching and elongating, running across her whole body like voracious predators.
I said, stop that.
They were all going to die, weren't they? In battle, like her friends and family. Or just taken away like the Muggleborns.
Stop that! Tom's roar felt like being dunked into cold water. Like Harry must have felt when he dove into the lake for the second task and she'd wished it had been her he'd been sent out to retrieve.
She blinked, and she was back in the Room of Requirement. And the panic faded, though didn't disappear. She took a deep breath, then another. Tomorrow, she'd know. Perhaps the worst had happened. Perhaps it hadn't. She'd deal with it then, not a second earlier.
Much better. I will not have you fall apart. If you hadn't noticed, I live here.
Astoria's face was in front of her, concern written all over it. "Ginny?" It was as much a question as a prayer.
Ginny swallowed, resisting the urge to burst into tears. "It's alright. Just—" She swallowed again. Everything was just a bit much all of a sudden," she stammered, even as Astoria enveloped her in a hug.
Susan punched her shoulder with a smirk. "You scared us, you prat." Then she sobered. "But I understand that."
Padma pressed a kiss on her head. "If you want, we can go to the Astronomy Tower? I scream from the top when it gets too much for me."
"Sounds tempting." Ginny tried to get up but could feel her legs give out underneath her. She sank back to the ground and lay back. "But I think I'll take five here first."
"Do that. I'll get something nice from the kitchen in the meantime," Chang offered, looking very much like she'd rather be anywhere else right now. Her brothers got that look sometimes too, when Ginny and her mum got emotional.
And suddenly she realised that while she'd lost four friends and a brother last year, she'd gained four friends here as well. Or at least three and Chang.
#
As usual, Astoria was the last to linger after training. A bit gingerly, she was applying the Aguamenti charm to a still smouldering dummy. After her, well, it could only be called a breakdown, they'd resumed practice with intensity. They'd all had friends and former lovers among those Muggleborns escorted away and it had left them feeling powerless. In here, they at least retained the illusion of power, as the dummies had discovered.
Ginny walked up to her and draped an arm around her friend. "I'm quite sure the room would fix that," she pointed out.
Astoria shrugged. "I suppose so, but it wouldn't feel right. Like leaving my bed unmade in the morning."
Ginny, who had never made her bed in her life, could only shrug at that. If Astoria took comfort in that, she'd let her. But Ginny herself had different plans. "I was thinking…"
"Yes?" Astoria stopped the charm and focused on Ginny, eyes swimming with concern, but also hope.
It was almost enough to make Ginny falter. Is this how Harry had felt? People turning to him for answers and solutions, even when they were only longshots? And she wondered if she even had anything like that to offer. But they couldn't just do nothing, after what had happened.
"The Horcruxes…" she swallowed. "I was thinking we should go looking again."
Astoria's enthusiasm was painful. "Do you have a hint then? Did Dumbledore's memories—"
"No," Ginny interrupted her, sharper than she'd intended. "No. But perhaps, if we wander the hallways… I know it's a terrible plan, but what else can we do at this point? I've watched those stupid memories a hundred times, nothing. We've scoured the Chamber of Secrets, nothing."
My Death Eaters stride through Hogwarts, and you? Nothing.
"Of course," Astoria said, kindness nigh unbearable. Her hands reached for the Butterbeer bottlecap necklace and caressed it. "I'm sure Luna would have approved of us hunting the impossible. Did you bring the cloak?"
"Always," Ginny said, unfurling it with care. As if she could ever leave such protection behind in such dangerous times. Or leave the last remnant of Harry… she draped it over the two of them, and invisibility took them as they left the Room of Requirement behind and walked into the dark, empty corridors of Hogwarts that somehow held greater silence and dread than they had even in her first year.
Neither she nor Astoria spoke as they wandered for Merlin knew how long. They studied statues and paintings, entered abandoned classrooms rich with cobwebs and carefully skirted cupboards that made just a tad too much noise. Even in darkness, love could still bloom. She and Astoria exchanged a smile at that.
They found Draco Malfoy too, wandering the hallways alone. A lumos lit his wand and his pale face, looking even more haggard than during the day. His eyes flitted left and right as if he too was searching for something. Ginny watched him in discomfort, reminded of that night on the Astronomy Tower when she had spied upon him at his lowest. When she exchanged a look with Astoria, her friend just remained transfixed on Draco, a sad expression on her face.
Only when Draco was many hallways away, did Ginny finally break the silence. "Do you know what's up with him?" she asked.
"He's working through—" Astoria fell silent and seemed to gather her thoughts. "He's trying to figure some things out. Nothing you need to worry about, I promise."
So Astoria did know more. It was tempting to pry, but as usual, fear of her friend returning the favour stayed her hand. So instead, she just nodded and they continued, exhaustion settling in their bodies more and more with each step as the pitch black darkness of night moved around them. And still, she did not worry and fret as she usually did at night. As if the presence of her dearest friend next to her was enough to stave off any waking nightmares or whispers from Tom. No dead friends haunted her, no burning Burrow or green flashes of light.
Only when birdsong drifted in through the windows, together with the morning light of Spring, did they realise how early it had gotten. They'd exchange shocked, exhausted glances and then burst out laughing.
"Today's classes are going to be the worst," Ginny said.
"For you perhaps. I've got Binns, I'll catch up on sleep there."
"Astoria? Thank you." Their silent vigil had made her feel better, despite not accomplishing anything.
Astoria stepped out from underneath the cloak with her usual grace. "Two days until Easter holiday, Ginny," she reminded her.