Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball.
Betaed by: Zim'sMostLoyalServant and my best friend.
Last Time on Dragon Ball IJ!:
Teaming up with their old buddy Yamcha, our heroes took Roshi's submarine and headed under the sea in search of the Dragon Ball. But they weren't alone, with the Red Ribbon Army, in particular the dreaded General Blue, in pursuit.
Meanwhile, the Red Ribbon Army took Mai hostage as part of ambushing Master Roshi. Well, they picked the wrong turtle to mess with, as Roshi showed his stuff. After a cheap shot seemed to down Roshi, Mai found her resolve and struck back. Naturally, the invincible old master was fine, but pleased at his student's progress.
The underwater venture took a turn for the arrrgh as they stumbled upon a legendary pirate base, and Bulma got tingly over the idea of pirate treasure. In the abandoned pirate base, a battle with the Red Ribbon took another unexpected turn as a very oddly-designed robot sprouting pirate jargon decided to try and wipe them all out.
Who will walk away with bodacious bountiful booty, and who will be punching a one way ticket to Davy Jones Locker? Find out now, on Dragon Ball Intended Journey!
Chapter 11
Out of the Blue
Battle on Mateys!
"What was all that about!?" Bulma demanded as she and Yamcha ran down the hallway.
"What? Splitting up? Yeah, I feel a bit like a heel for that," Yamcha admitted.
"Not that! I mean flirting right in front of me!" Bulma insisted.
"Huh? Are you talking about Launch? She was just kidding, Bulma," Yamcha sputtered.
"Just kidding, yeah right!"
"Well, even if she wasn't, it's not like I took her up, right?"
"I saw you blushing!"
"Well, yeah. But didn't you get a bit red?"
"Only because I was angry at you two flirting in front of me! If I was into girls, you think I'd have gone on a quest for the perfect boyfriend in the first place?"
"I don't know," Yamcha deadpanned.
"This is why you'll never have a girlfriend, Yamcha, you're so inconsiderate," Bulma snapped.
Yamcha stopped, and Bulma went a bit further down the hall before stopping too.
"What? Someone following us?" she asked, looking back. The hallway wasn't straight, with curving turns and a few switchbacks. Possibly done to avoid destabilizing the structure, as opposed to straight lines.
"I was just wondering if I should go back and help after all," Yamcha said. Bulma didn't notice his clenched fist as she rolled her eyes.
"Well forget that. You aren't in a position to help them. Besides, I need you in case there are more robots or traps."
"...Right, they can handle this. Let's find that Dragon Ball," Yamcha said. They resumed jogging, and shortly came to a fork in the path.
"Can you tell which way to go?" Yamcha asked Bulma.
"Heheh, of course I can. Aha. We want to go left. Mark it for the muscle to find us," Bulma ordered, waking down the left hallway. Yamcha looked at the wall, then at the packed dirt floor. With two fingers, he poked into the hard dirt and carved a simple arrow pointing the way.
"Hope you three are doing okay," he said, before going to catch up with Bulma.
After the two had been gone nearly a minute, a well-polished yet scuffed boot stepped into sight, and General Blue followed.
"Hohoho, for a second there, I thought I'd been spotted. But he was only distracted by foolish concern for his allies. Hmm, on the one hand it would be very convenient for that robot to wipe those two out. But then, that would leave me with a killer robot on the way out. Well, no matter - if they beat it, that should wear them down and make them easy prey. But why take needless risks?" Blue grinned. Scrapping dirt with his boot, he packed it down to erase Yamcha's arrow, and despite grimacing at dirtying himself, carved his own arrow pointing the wrong direction.
"If I have these pirates figured out, the wrong way will lead them into a trap. General Blue doesn't just use brute force to defeat his enemies. Now, to get the Commander's Dragon Ball."
X X X
"So, how do I look?" Launch asked. They stood in a room of the large building that had apparently been an office, judging by the desks and files cabinets. And Launch wore not only the pirate hat Lunch had acquired earlier, but a piratey coat, an eyepatch, and a cutlass hanging from a thick belt with a copper buckle.
"Weird," Goku told her.
"Good enough, now get under that desk," Launch ordered. Goku obeyed and dove under the desk as the pirate robot burst through the door from the hallway beyond.
"Avast there, matey! Cease yer bilge-slinging typhoon of aggravation! I be a matey of this proud and hearty crew, and ye be acting out! So stand ye down, else I'll make ye walk the plank to Davey Jones' scrap pile," Launch said, brandishing a fist then the cutlass at the robot.
*Whirrrrr!* the robot went, looking at Launch, who gave her best threatening smile.
"AVAST YE SEADOG, PLAY DEAD."
"Ah crap," Launch said, jumping through a nearby window before the robot fired several shots into where she had been standing. The robot tore through the wall after her, and found her without pirate regalia, cocking an assault rifle.
"Fine, let's old school this!" she said, opening fire on the robot. Parts of its skull-like alien face plate chopped off in the hail of bullets, but it didn't stop. Launch ducked under its swing meant to take her head. But failed to spot its segmented tail until it snagged her around the neck and dragged her off her feet, dropping her gun and knocking off the hat.
"Launch!" Goku shouted, running after her.
"WALK THE PLANK," the robot declared, boldly propelling itself off the waterfront into the channel.
"Sh-!" Launch went, before being dragged underwater.
"Coming!" Goku yelled, diving after the two.
X X X
"You go first," Bulma said, kneeling beside the square well in the floor at the hallway's end.
"Why me? You have the map," Yamcha objected.
"Exactly, we can't lose this or we might not be able to find our way out. Besides, you're a martial artist superhuman in training, can't you hold your breath for like an hour or something by drawing on the power of the universe or something?"
"No, I actually can't. But you're right, I'm more capable than you of doing this. Okay, I'll swim to see if there really is a passage and come back to let you know."
Yamcha dived in without another word.
"He seems tense. Maybe Mom's right, maybe I am a bit too harsh with people? Well, still, no one would expect me to take my ex flirting in front of me well. Well, Goku wouldn't get it, but Goku's Goku," Bulma mused, unaware of the shadow looming behind her.
KACHUNK
Bulma slumped over, and General Blue smiled.
"Briefs' heiress secured. And now..." Blue said, rummaging through the pouches on her belt.
"The Dragon Radar, so small," Blue said. Pushing the only visible button he was awarded with a grid and what he quickly realized was a cross-section of the base and cavern. Not to mention a beeping dot.
"Hohohoo! I hate to get wet and drag around dead weight, but a hostage situation seems a fine way to wrap this up," Blue said, stripping off his hat and upper uniform before taking out a pair of cuffs.
X X X
"YOHOHO. YOHOHO."
The robot searched the ground below while the two soggy martial artists sat on top of the roof of the big building.
"Thanks kid. I'll save this for later," Launch said, putting the pirate hat in a capsule.
"I bet the Kamehameha would beat it."
"No way kid, remember, we're still underground and underwater. We start punching holes in walls, we'll bring the place down on ourselves. Hmm, if only we had an attack like that but more precise, like a gun or just a rifle instead of a big ole cannon," Launch mused.
"How about you hold it in place so I can hit from jumping all the way up here with the power pole?" Goku asked.
"Well, since you said it, I'm not sure it will work. But I'm getting tired of Nobeard Metalpants' limited dialogue," ALunch grumbled
"DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES."
X X X
"Whew!" Yamcha exhaled, before taking a deep breath as he emerged from the underground channel into a cave pool.
"Lights here, too. So this is also part of the complex," Yamcha said, swimming the short distance to shore. Stepping onto the shelf of underwater rock, he walked out of the water to look around the cave. The ceiling was high, with lights mounted among the stalactites, and before the far wall was situated a towering statue of a many-armed goddess, six arms, each holding a spear pointing downward. Her beautiful face was given a sinister look by the fangs jutting out of her lips.
And before her on a sun dais was a large treasure chest that looked like it was nearly as tall as he was.
"Well, Bulma will be happy, looks like we found the treasure," Yamcha remarked.
"Oh, I don't think she's happy, handsome," General Blue said.
Yamcha whirled to see the General, shirtless and emerging out of the water, a sputtering and gasping Bulma, struggling as he practically dragged her by the hair and then tossed her aside on the stone floor.
"Yamcha, save me! I don't think even I can seduce a gay man!"
"Shut up! I should have gagged you when I had the chance, don't make me break your jaw to make up for lost time," Blue snapped, making Bulma flinch before she glared at the man.
X X X
"Rocket Launch!" Launch said, performing her special move. Breaking through a window, she closed the distance with the robot and grabbed its gun arm in a grapple hold.
"Hrrgh!" she tried to throw it, only lifting it briefly off its treads to smack back down.
"Heavy bastard! What are you made of?" Launch asked. Dodging at the last second, losing a few strands of hair, the robot chopped into its own arm.
"Watch out below!" Goku yelled, leaping down from the roof.
"Time to shove off, ye scurvy cur," Launch mocked, leaping back.
The robot turned its gun on her, then looked up at Goku. A clear moment of indecision cost it dearly, as the power pole slammed home. Half of its face plate practically exploded from the impact, and the ancient weapon cleaved it halfway down the torso.
Goku hit the ground with a clack.
"Return," he commanded, and the staff retracted.
"... YOHO YOHO ... A ... PIRATE'S... LIFE ... FOR MEEEEE," the robot sang as its remaining eye went dark.
"Huh, I kind of figured it would explode or something," Launch said, stepping up to the robot while Goku poked it with the power pole.
"Yay, we won!" Goku cheered. Then the robot's body started to spark, and small fires flared in its seams.
"Of course," Launch sighed, grabbing Goku's hand as she ran, "Come on Goku, straight to the tunnel! Don't look back."
BOOM
The robot exploded as they reached the tunnel.
"That explosion wasn't so big. Why'd we have to run and not look back?" Goku asked.
"Because it's cooler that way, that's why," Launch said.
"Okay Launch, so that just leaves that General guy, right?" Goku asked.
"And whatever other surprises this place has in store. Better hurry though, don't want to leave Bulma and Yamcha together for too long. They might end up fighting, or worse, making up."
"Which way?" Goku asked as they both skidded to halt at an intersection. Launch looked down both corridors, frowning.
"Look," Goku said, pointing. An arrow had been drawn on the floor.
"Well, that's easy. Let's go, Goku," Launch said as she and Goku unknowingly ran the wrong way.
A few curves in the corridor later, they came to a stop, faced with a dead end.
"Well, something tells me this isn't good," Launch said.
"Maybe there's a secret passage?" Goku wondered.
"I guess there must be, or-" Launch was cut off as the floor fell away beneath them. Dropping out of sight, the trapdoor closed up behind them.
"Ugh!" Launch went as they hit something soft and rubbery.
"There was a secret passage Launch, one going down," Goku remarked chipperly.
"It's called a trapdoor, Goku. Though why would you leave padding under a trap?" Launch wondered looking round.
"Heheheh, they didn't, but I'll gladly play the trap straight," a gargly voice chuckled.
Taking a better look around, the two realized they were on top of a giant octopus.
"Oh! Launch, fresh seafood," Goku said happily.
"Better cough up directions quick, buster, or we'll make the seaside special out of ya," Launch said, smacking away a tentacle as it tried to grab her.
X X X
Bulma growled as Blue ground his boot into her back. Trying to throw him off with a jolt up, he pulled his foot away in time and stomped on her hard, knocking the wind out of her.
"Coward," Yamcha seethed.
"Her fault for talking when a General commands quiet. Now listen carefully, handsome. I'm going to check the radar, and you're going to stand still until I tell you to move. My kicks can knock a car off its wheels, so if I stomp hard, my boot will punch clear through this woman. You may be quick, but not that quick, I'd say."
"Right," Yamcha admitted.
"Good boy. Now let's see. Can we zoom in further? Oh yes, we can! No wonder those brats were running circles around us, this device is a wonder. We'll have all the Dragon Balls inside a week with this to guide us. Anyway, ah, there we go. That pool over there seems to have the Dragon Ball in it. I do hate swimming in seawater. Or any non-chlorinated water. Fishies and their shelly cousins don't get out to use the toilet, you know. Ugh, I'll never understand how so many people flock to the beach, not realizing they are lining up to swim in giant toilets," Blue griped.
"So, I take it I'm going for a swim?"
"You got it! And take that shirt off, you'll go through the water better."
"Oh, like that's your reason," Bulma drawled. Blue stomped on her, making her cry out before growling.
"If the Commander didn't want you alive, I'd have killed you already! But he doesn't need you intact, and I'd wager my life he wants the Dragon Balls more. Well, strip and get going," Blue commanded. Yamcha stripped down in silence and, with a deep breath slipped into the cave pool. Blue stepped off Bulma and pulled a capsule out. Unsealing it, a pump shotgun poofed into sight, which he expertly grabbed out of the air.
"Now then, while we wait, you're going to stroll over to that treasure chest. No sense twiddling thumbs."
"You're kidding," Bulma gulped, looking up at the statue with all its giant pointy spears and fang-filled smile, looming over the chest.
"Well, I can hardly be blamed if you died treasure hunting, can I? If you succeed, that much easier for me to get the treasure. You fail, I get to see you die. So you see, everyone who matters wins! Hohoho! I'm so amazing, I stun myself," Blue said, leaning his cheek into his free hand.
"Kill me, and Yamcha will destroy you," Bulma promised.
"Ah, a vote of confidence. That's the first nice thing I think I've heard you say about him."
Blue cocked the shotgun and nodded toward the chest, his smile promising he would not hesitate to pull the trigger if she delayed. Fists at her side, she marched toward the chest, back straight, nose up. Stopping at an unseen line, eyes looking at the statue, passing over the spears.
Taking one step forward, nothing happened. Then another, and another.
"Gah!" Bulma screamed, barely jumping out of the way as a giant spear was launched, burying itself where she had just been.
"One down, five to go. Assuming there aren't other surprises," Blue commented, "Get up."
"Goku, this would be a great time for you to burst in and beat up the bad guy," Bulma gulped.
Water splashed as someone emerged.
"Goku!" Bulma cheered, taking a step toward the sound, then screamed as another spear almost impaled her.
"Wrong pool, moron. Welcome back, handsome. Do you have it?" Blue asked Yamcha as he crouched halfway out of the pool, breathing hard.
"It's not exactly easy, you know. Give me the radar and I'll find it quick," Yamcha said.
"Hohoho, so you could break it out of spite? I didn't get my rank from good looks, you know. Get back down there. Now, or I shoot her."
"You'll get yours."
"Like I haven't heard that one before," Blue scoffed. Bulma screamed as another spear barely missed her.
"Ah, women do sound lovely when terrified out of their mind," Blue sighed fondly.
X X X
"Alright, if I recall right, after tenderizing the octopus, then we cook," Launch said, standing over the beaten giant cephalopod with Goku.
"Mercy, I'll show you the way. I'll stop squatting and hunting and get a real job working at a kiosk in the undersea merman mall," the sea creature pleaded, one eye swollen shut.
"Working in a mall? Well, if you'd rather suffer a fate worse than death, who am I to say otherwise? Hop on Goku, we got a ride," Launch said.
"So, we don't get to eat him?" Goku asked making the sea creature sweat.
"If he double-crosses us, then we eat him," Launch said licking her lips eye alight qith thouhts of takiyokai.
X X X
"Treasure, oh yes, treasure make Bulma all better," Bulma groaned, after opening the lid of the treasure chest. Her jump suit was quite torn up, with lines of blood marking where she'd barely dodged making her way over. But the statue had used up its spears and then its fangs, letting her now practically fall into the treasure chest, rubbing herself against the gold and gems, grabbing handfuls.
"Hey now! Don't get the loot dirty with your womaness!" Blue said, grabbing her foot to pull her off. She kicked at him, grabbing ahold of the edge of the chest and hissing like a cat. That made him let go.
"Ugh, has she had her shots? Why did such a handsome man date you in the first place? Money is very important of course, but really," Blue recoiled.
"Hey, I resemble that remark! Wait, I mean-" Bulma snapped back to normal. Only to be grabbed by the ankle and swung out of the chest and smacked into the ground.
"...Okay, knocked out. Now to re-cuff her and gag her. Oh wait, what's this? You're back, did you find the Commander's Dragon Ball," Blue asked, as a panting Yamcha emerged from the water again. By way of answer, Yamcha held up the Dragon Ball.
"Ohhhh! Hohohoho! General Blue triumphs once more," he crowed. Tossing a capsule at the chest, Blue smiled as a large container appeared. Hefting the chest and shaking the lid closed, he put it inside and capsuled the outer container to pocket it.
"Now then, toss me that Dragon Ball, and you know what, I'll let you go. Take some time and think over my offer. The Red Ribbon will soon rule the world, and I can speak from experience when it comes to domination, it's always better to be on top, doing the doing, instead of down under having to it done to you," Blue said, showing off his smile.
Yamcha didn't answer, glanced to the Dragon Ball, Bulma, Blue, and tossed the Dragon Ball high into the air.
"What?" Blue said, looking up briefly before thinking to go for the shotgun he'd set aside to pull the woman off the loot.
"Wolf Fang Fist!" Yamcha yelled, closing the distance between them.
"A soldier doesn't call his attacks!" Blue yelled back, countering and deflecting the flurry of blows.
The two skidded apart as the technique finished, kicking up dust in the cave.
"You blocked it," Yamcha said. Blue cracked his neck and smiled.
"I told you, I didn't get this far on looks," Blue said. The Dragon Ball hit the stony floor with a ping, and Blue sprang forward. Yamcha raised a elbow to block the jab and succeeded, but he felt the impact painfully roll up his arm.
Yamcha was forced back by the series of punches that followed; he could practically feel his arms bruising. He went low to sweep the General's feet from under him. He only met air, looking as if in slow motion at the General in the air, having hopped neatly over the kick.
A booted foot took Yamcha square in the face sending him to his back. Blue landed with a confident clack.
"You're good. Such a pity you refused my offers, but it's clear even if you said yes, you'd only backstab us later. Oh well. Normally I'd take the time to torture you both, and have some fun with you handsome; but I am on the clock and those brats may not be getting ground into mulch by that robot. So..." Blue said, walking over to Yamcha, who was struggling to his feet. A rock hit Blue in the back of the head. It bounced off, leaving only a small bump, but the man stopped, turning to look at the weak attack's origin.
Bulma stood up on wobbly knees, tossing another small rock in her hand.
"Back off," she told him.
"That's it, I'm breaking your legs when I haul you out of here. Throw your useless rocks, you're too weak to even slow me down," Blue said, facing Yamcha, who forced himself to stand into his stance.
Water exploded upward as a mass emerged from below.
"Here, the treasure room, just like I promised!" a giant octopus said to the befuddlement of everyone watching. It was covered in bruises, with an eye swollen shut and several bandaged tentacles, and on top of it were a very wet Goku and Launch.
"Yamcha!" Goku yelled, leaping down.
"Sorry we're late, guessing this palooka tampered with your directions," Launch said, hopping down.
"I'm out," the octopus said, fleeing back under the water.
"You guys, you beat the robot," Yamcha said.
"Yeah, they don't build 'em like that anymore, apparently," Launch laughed.
"Is it our turn, Yamcha?" Goku asked. Yamcha bristled for just a moment, before slumping.
"Yeah, I guess it is. Careful, he's strong and quick," the former bandit said.
"Oh boy," Goku said, grinning.
"Wanna rock-paper-scissors for him?" Launch asked.
"Just take him down together, you nuts!" Bulma blurted.
"...Hey, where's the treasure?" Launch asked.
"He's got it!" Bulma pointed at Blue, who looked annoyed.
"Tattletale. But yes, I do have it."
"Well then, this is more than just a fight, it's a fight for money. Let's take him down together, Goku."
"Okay, but you owe me a serious spar later," Goku told her as they advanced on General Blue.
"Hohohoho, even the so-called heroes aren't above ganging up on a lone fighter, eh?"
"Who said we were heroes? You guys just keep getting in our way," Launch said.
"Well try this!" Blue said, eyes flashing. Launch and Goku froze in their tracks.
"What?" Yamcha went. Blue hit Launch in the chin with a knee and kicked Goku across the room like a soccer ball.
"HOHOHOHO! Behold my psychic powers!" Blue cackled, fists raised.
"Psychic? No way," Bulma muttered.
"Yes way! Ever since I was just an adorable little boy, I had special powers, but the Red Ribbon Army provided me with training to tap into strength I never suspected. Now that these two are under my power, they can't raise so much as an eyelash against me."
Blue walked over to Launch, who had landed near the entry pool. Grabbing the front of her gi in one hand, eyes still aglow, he smirked as he picked her up.
"You're first," Blue declared, pulling his free fist back.
"Wolf Fang Fist!" Yamcha yelled. Blue turned with Launch in hand, but the half effort at using her as shield was for naught, the first blow striking his wrist, making him drop her.
Blue's reflexes were good; he blocked nearly half the blows, but not the other half. The final blow calling forth an image like a leaping wolf caught the General right on the nose, sending him tumbling back into the water.
"What happened?" Launch asked, sitting up.
"Cheater! That's a cheap shot!" Goku complained, also getting up.
With an angry growl, Blue leapt clear of the water and back onto land, twin trails of blood running down from his nose.
"Spread out, he needs to see someone to use that!" Yamcha yelled.
"Heh, don't think surviving that means any of you... any of you..." Blue trailed off, wiping away blood with the back of his hand.
"A nosebleed? A NOSEBLEED! NOOOOO!" Blue screamed. The other fighters flinched at his outburst.
"What's the big deal," a confused Goku asked.
"To think I, the great General Blue would be made to suffer such an unsightly injury. For my oh so perfect body to be host to such an awkward and horrid state of affairs. I will never forgive this travesty!" Blue declared, pointing to Yamcha
"Weren't you already trying to kill us?" Yamcha asked.
"Don't change the subject! You all had a hand in this! You will all pay!" Blue said. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a capsule and opened it. They barely saw what it was he retrieved before he threw it down and a flash-bang went off, startling everyone, and no sooner was their vision coming back than a smoke bomb went off, filling the room with a putrid black smoke.
"Hahaha! Even if you are trained to follow sounds, I can throw my voice, and this cavern has noise bouncing around at this volume, no!?"
"Coward! Stop fooling around and fight," Goku demanded.
"I don't think I will," Blue said. Something splashed into the water, making them all turn in the smoke.
"That splash just now was a tactical bomb, standard issue for high-ranking officers. A lovely waterproof time bomb that was designed to be able to level an enemy base on its lonesome. More than enough to bring this house down."
"You're bluffing!" Launch said, taking a swing at the smoke. She hit nothing.
"I am not. Burying you four alive is quite the win for me, especially now that I have the Dragon Ball, lucky me. And this radar is as good as a map out. You, on the other hand, have only one chance and that is to backtrack to that hidden port. Better run along, though by all means try and catch me, I'll see you in Enma's line. Hohohoho!" The General's laugher faded as the smoke cleared.
"We've got to go! I don't think he's sane enough for that be a bluff!" Bulma said.
"Right, let's go!" Launch said, running over to the shaky Bulma and sweeping her off her feet to run to the pool leading back to the main area.
"This is not my fantasy for being swept off," Bulma griped. Launch dropped her in the water, getting a small laugh from Yamcha.
"You good to run?" Goku asked him over the sound of Bulma angrily grumbling in the water.
"Yeah, I got this!" ymcha said with thumbs up.
Later, Kame House:
"So it wasn't a bluff?" Roshi asked them as they sat around the table in his living room. They'd all taken a long nap in the small house after making their way back, with the old master standing guard. Now they recounted their tales over a light meal.
"Yeah, we felt it go off when we reached the port," Bulma said, taking a bite.
"It was freaky, but we had your sub and got out before it all came tumbling down," Launch said.
"I wonder if the General guy did make it out?" Goku wondered.
"Better that he did, otherwise it'd be nearly impossible to get that Dragon Ball," Yamcha said.
"You said it wasn't my Grandpa's ball, though, so I'm not that interested in getting it."
Mai sipped her tea at her spot at the table, eyes still a bit wide at the story.
"And I thought it was scary up here. These Red Ribbon people really are bad news," she said.
"That's right. So we're going to be moving Kame House after you all move on. I have a place in the mountains near where we met the first time, Goku, Bulma. I can give you the coordinates if you want to find us again."
"But Master Roshi, you handled them no problem," Goku said.
"If it were just me, I wouldn't budge before those hoodlums. But I need to provide a safer setting for my students so they can devote themselves to training, not worry over weasels in the rushes," Roshi said.
"I'm sorry," Mai sighed, eyes closed.
"Hey, we're the ones that dragged you into this. If anything, we should be sorry, right Goku?" Launch said. Goku shook his head, to everyone's shock.
"Nah, it's all the Red Ribbon's fault. If they weren't so bad, none of this would be a problem."
Bulma chuckled, the others joining in except for a confused Mai.
"Blunt as ever, guess I shouldn't expect more from the boy who went around patting crotches to see who was a boy and who was a girl," Bulma said.
"Anyway, it's time to divide the booty," Bulma said. Reaching into her pockets, she dropped diamonds and pieces of golden jewelry on the table.
"When did you get that? Blue capsuled the treasure chest," Yamcha pointed out, as everyone stared at the swag. Bulma grinned wide, laughing.
"Yohohoho! I didn't rub myself against the loot just because it felt good! As a wealthy and sophisticated person that will have to deal with taxes one day, I have an instinct for hiding wealth. And I hid it cleverly where I knew no gay man would ever find it," Bulma said. Mai stopped from picking up a jewel, pulling her hand back. Roshi's eyebrows went up, and with a smile he reached for one. Bulma slapped his hand away.
"I washed them already, perv! And as the one to claim the treasure, it's only right I divide it up fairly. After all, of everyone here I have the most financial knowhow," Bulma declared, finger raised.
"I have to handle my expenses without one-percenter money, so I'd say that title is up in the air," Roshi grumbled, but didn't object.
"Right then. Division of spoils: Master Roshi, you get the smallest diamond because you helped the least and were in the least danger. Goku, you get the second-smallest diamond because you don't care much about money," Bulma said, nudging the precious stones toward their new owners.
"It's true," Goku admitted, while Roshi grumbled, picking up his diamond.
"Yamcha gets the next biggest diamond because he almost got sexually harassed."
"Thanks," Yamcha said flatly, as Bulma put the hot ice in his palm.
"This bracelet with a blue sapphire reminded me of the twins, so it goes to you, Launch," Bulma said, tossing the jewelry to the blonde.
"Meh, this isn't really my style, but Blue might like it," Launch said, clipping it onto her left forearm.
"The second biggest diamond goes to Mai, because she's a pretty girl stuck wit Roshi," Bulma said, handing Mai the diamond after Mai pulled a glove on.
"You're not an easy girl to like," Roshi noted, while Mai bowed her head in thanks.
"And the biggest diamond of them all to me," Bulma declared, tossing the unusually large gem up and down.
"What?! But you're already rich!" Launch and Roshi said, one puzzled, the other outraged.
"Exactly. And what's more important, I am your friend."
"...I don't get it," Goku stated. Launch patted his head.
"Keep it up, Goku," she said, giving Bulma an annoyed look, who clutched the diamond to her breasts.
"Hey now, don't be swept up in the glow. Being rich isn't all fun and games. Just look at the tragedies that befall most lottery winners. Why, if any of you suddenly became wealthy, odds are it would go to your heads. You'd be buying overpriced ugly cars, ditching your friends for supermodels, buying season tickets to losing battleball teams, and getting the premium wash at carwashes. And once your career fizzled out due to your wealthy path, you'd retire, becoming bitter jerks who own nightclubs. I care about you all far too much to burden you with the velvet curse of absurd wealth, so I Bulma Briefs will take this diamond as my responsibility!"
'She's so full of crap. But I kind of respect how audaciously crappy it is. Meh, I'll let have her way with it,' Launch thought.
'…It's not worth arguing,' Yamcha thought.
'Brat,' Roshi thought.
'I wonder how much money is too much to have in the bank?' Goku wondered.
'How noble! I completely misjudged her character,' Mai thought, hand to her mouth, eyes bright with admiration.
Yamcha got to his feet, holding his empty plate.
"Well thanks, I wish you luck on the journey. Feel free to call on me if you need me, but I think it's clear I need to train more before I go looking for trouble."
"Wait, Yamcha, can we go, talk?" Bulma asked, getting to her own feet. Yamcha met her eyes for a moment and nodded. The two left the table, going out the back door.
"What's that about?" Goku asked.
"Heheh, those two had a close brush with Enma's queue. Maybe it's time to rekindle old flames with a heck of a park in the bushes," Roshi giggled, face flushing. Launch threw a napkin into his face, while Mai frowned at Bulma's place at the table.
"She didn't put up her plate," Mai said, taking the plate in addition to her own as she got up.
X X X
Bulma and Yamcha stood on the short cliff overlooking the sea, as the day got brighter on the island.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" Yamcha said, staring out to sea.
"...Funny being here when we met in a desert, isn't it?" Bulma remarked. He didn't say anything, so she took a deep breath before speaking.
"I've been doing some thinking. Even before I joined Goku and the twins for this quest. I realize I may not have been entirely fair to you. When you lost in the tournament, I didn't mean for you to go."
"You broke up with me. Kicked me out."
"Yes, but I was hoping you'd offer to stop the training stuff, and we could just focus on us. I didn't think you would just give up and go train more. Well, it made me angry."
"...So you just wanted to manipulate me."
"...Sounds kind of bad like that. But I guess that's kind of it?"
"Bulma, I tried to be a good boyfriend. I bent over for you, even when Puar, my oldest friend, was telling me it wasn't healthy. I told myself I didn't deserve better because I was so grateful to have a girlfriend at all. When you broke up with me, it was like my happily ever after had been snatched away. I went to train with Master Roshi, hoping I could impress you into taking me back."
"Well, no need for that," Bulma clapped her hands, nodding, "I admit I was wrong to break up with you like that. So, you can come back now with me to West City. Or you can stay and train here and I can come visit."
"No," Yamcha said, closing his eyes.
"No? You have a third idea?"
"Sort of. I don't want to be your boyfriend, Bulma."
"Huh?!" Bulma gasped.
"I'm glad you're having some regrets, but you're still pretty bad, like on this trip. And not just to me. Goku might not mind because he's Goku ,but Lunch and Mai you're needlessly rude too; and while Master Roshi kind of asks for it, even if he was a perfect gentleman I think you'd find something to hate on. I just, don't need that."
"But you protected me," Bulma pointed out.
"Of course, I don't want you hurt or worse, Bulma. But frankly, I'm not even sure I want you as a friend right now. You were my first girlfriend and I'm grateful for that. I'll always be glad for what started with you. But, I'm done. I hope we can be civil to one another for all our friends. Speaking of which, you'd best start applying those thoughts to your other relationships. I don't know about Goku, but most people expect better from friends than having to put up with so much."
And with that he walked off, leaving Bulma alone by the sea, with his eyes watering a bit.
X X X
"So, you won't be joining us?" Lunch asked as they stood beside the Mega Death Wing. Kame House was already gone. Turtle had opted to stay in the area rather than relocate to the mountains, but the other three had departed via hovercraft for their new training grounds. So it was a fairly unremarkable meadow by the sea they stood in.
"Well, we all need to go back to West City so I can build a new radar. If General Blue did escape, the Red Ribbon will have a much easier time finding the Dragon Balls, so you two will be in for a real race now. But even I need the right tools and parts to build a radar, so we need to get back to my lab. And after that, well, I won't just be trying to settle back down there. But the journey I need, I think I'll need to be on my own for a bit."
"But Bulma, you really can't take care of yourself," Goku said, making both women and Turtle sweatdrop.
"Honesty isn't always the best policy, Goku," Turtle said.
"Maybe just phrased a bit better?" Lunch suggested.
"Hmph! Well, maybe that's an idea. I need to find my own sensei, sifu, master or whatever. Yeah, maybe you'll be facing me in the next tournament!" Bumla declared, pointing dramatically.
"Wow! So you'll be training with Master Roshi?" Goku asked.
"No way! The twins, Chichi and Mai may be able to put with him, but I have some standards. There must be a crazy powerful and old magical martial arts master out there who doesn't think with his lower brain. And I'll find 'em and become so awesome I'll never have to be rescued again. Heh, maybe I'll be rescuing you two like damsels."
"Oh Bulma, you're very cute, but I don't swing that way," Lunch said, waving her hand. Bulma facefaulted.
"Neither do I! It's just an expression!" Bulma bellowed.
"Well, no need to get so upset then, is there?" Lunch asked sweetly.
"Swing? Like a punch?" Goku asked.
"Yes Goku, avoid puberty. I don't think it would be kind to you," Bulma said, facepalming.
From there, they just agreed to head to West City and in a few moments, with the wisp of the Nimbus and the roar of the Mega Death Wing of Doom Version 4, the meadow was deserted, with only a swath of dead grass to mark what had been there.
Author's Note:
So Blue exits for now, and so does Bulma beginning a new journey of her own. And her and Yamcha as a couple are officially buried.
But for now we shift our focus to Chichi, Krillin and Ox King as they face the horrors of the Demon World; next week on Dragon Ball: Intended Journey!