Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball.

Betaed by: Zim'sMostLoyalServant and my best friend.

LAST TIME ON DRAGON BALL IJ!:

Caught between a killer robot and a race for the Dragon Ball, our heroes split up. After a hard fought battle and bit of dress-up, Launch and Goku said abayo to Mr. Roboto. As for Yamcha, he found the treasure room, but Bulma ended up a hostage.

Despite some buyer's remorse from General Blue, things seemed to be going well for the Red Ribbon Army. Capsuling the pirate treasure and forcing Yamcha to retrieve the Dragon Ball, Blue aimed for a triple crown, abducting Bulma in the bargain. Only for Launch and Goku to arrive and back up Yamcha against the mighty General.

The day ended with a boom courtesy of General Blue. While our heroes escaped with their lives, Blue escaped with not only his, but a Dragon Ball and even the Dragon Radar!

Having suffered near-defeat, our heroes planned their next moves. Hoping to grow stronger, Yamcha and Mai relocated with Master Roshi to continue their training. Meanwhile, Bulma, Goku, and Lunch decided to return to West City so Bulma can build a new radar.

But as our heroes lick their wounds, the Red Ribbon prepares to press the offensive, today on Dragon Ball Intended Journey!

Chapter 12

Fiendish Festival

Rescue the Princess You Two!

"Behold, the Fiend Gate!" Ox King declared, getting out of his king-sized hovercar. Chichi stepped out of the shotgun door, and Krillin followed from a backdoor, gulping at the gaping door in the hillside. He couldn't see all of it, but what he saw was definitely a scary door right out of a horror movie. And a creepy sword with a golden hilt and shaped like flames were coming out of its blade was embedded in the ground like a macabre doorstop.

"Well, I guess I should just try and pull out the sword first. The simple solution and all that," Ox King said, spitting into his palms.

"Go ahead Dad, we'll cover you if anything comes out of the darkness," Chichi said, marching up to the doorway. Krillin rushed to join her, and stared as the dark stones took over from the packed dirt. The very air seemed darker over the threshold.

"Do we have to stand so close?" Krillin asked, peering into the darkness. He had a bad feeing the darkness was looking back at him. Chichi, for her part, was just doing some stretches.

"All the better to not let them set one foot in our world, Krillin. We're like heroes on a quest," she said as her father grunted and moaned, pulling on the sword.

"I don't suppose we could just plug it up with a big rock like Izanagi?" Krillin asked.

"Nah, I think that only worked because that was a god doing it. Besides, ancient evil can probably just push the rock away," Chichi said. Then a loud breaking of wind left her standing stunned. Whirling on her father, she scowled.

"Dad! A king shouldn't make such rude noises!"

"Sorry sweetie, just the exertion, you know?" Ox King apologized, rubbing the back of his neck.

"So, it didn't budge?" Krillin asked. He could relate to breaking wind from exercise, but he didn't want any of Chichi's wrath brought down on him.

"Just a little bit. Hmm, guess we should go see King Kriss, then; maybe there's some lead or other on how to get it out?" Ox King mused.

Krillin was the first back into the car. Glancing back as they drove off toward the hilltop castle nearby, he gulped; for a second, he could swear he saw a female shape in the doorway. And the oddest feeling it was smiling.

X X X

"What? The princess has been kidnapped!?" Chichi screamed, getting up from bending the knee to King Kriss and his queen.

The color of the kingdom seemed to be blue and orange, Krillin noted, with the King wearing a dark blue cloak over an orange robe, and the Queen's gown being in those same colors. The brunette royals did not seem angered by Chichi's outburst, the Queen just staring off, looking a bit sick, and the King nodding as he frowned through his beard.

"Oh, King Kriss, if only I had arrived sooner! Forgive me!" Ox King moaned, pounding a fist on the carpet, making the room shake a bit and the armored knights standing guard rattle in their armor.

"No, it is my fault for not asking your aid sooner," Kriss sighed, raising a hand.

"Indeed," the Queen snapped, glaring at her husband before looking off again. The King flinched, despite his stoic expression.

"Who are these accompanying you, King of Oxes?" the royal asked.

"Oh, sorry, with that urgent news I forgot the introductions. This fine young lad is Krillin, a fellow disciple of the Lord Muten Roshi. And here we have my own daughter Chichi, the Crown Princess of Frypan and heir to all I have. She's also studied under my invincible old master," the Ox King explained, pointing to each of them in turn. Krillin was still on one knee, while Chichi was shaking a uniformed servant, getting details about the abduction.

"How dare they?!" Chichi demanded. She released the servant to raise her fists, along with her voice.

"They abducted an innocent girl from her room and took her home with them?!" Chichi raged, her hair seeming to rise up, starting to stand on end.

"That isn't all, they left a note. This very night, Shula, the lord of these demons, will marry my daughter," Kriss informed them grimly.

Chichi's hair burst from its ponytail, forming a mane of twisting spikes as her teeth ground and the hair on her tail stood on end.

"FILTHY. PERVERTS! Dad, Krillin, there's no time to waste, we must rescue the princess so she can live happily ever after with a proper prince charming, not some skeevy demon living in reality's basement!"

"Well, thank you, but you should know-" King Kriss tried to speak up.

"Move it, you two!" Chichi shrieked, before slamming the big fancy door shut behind her.

"Ah, just look at that heroic impulse to leap into action," the Ox King sighed fondly.

"We'd better catch up. If there's more exposition, maybe you two should tagalong; Chichi can be dangerous when she's that angry," Krillin gulped.

"…Prepare the royal coach to travel to the Fiend Gate," the King ordered after the guests had left.

"Hardly a lot to inspire confidence, husband. We should have called for King Furry's aid, his finest and most professional agents would be our right," the Queen stated.

"Quiet, do you really think such as they could stand against the forces of the Demon World, against Shula who mocks the laws of the realm? No, we need a legend to best a legend."

"And you'd let children go to battle in that nightmare?"

"For our daughter? Yes."

X X X

The Queen rode up in a coach, while the King rode up on a well-adorned horse, his armored knights exiting a personnel carrier.

"You are certain you could budge the sword?" Kriss asked, walking up to Ox King by the door.

"Hah, certainly, though it's a bit hard to grip something this small," the towering man said. Sure enough, after a bit of struggling, the other king was able to shift the blade.

"Remarkable, the seer told us only when Shula was defeated could the sword be removed by mortal hands."

"Maybe she meant human hands; I was told I have the blood of giants in me, maybe that makes the difference," Ox King wondered.

"It doesn't matter, if you can budge it, you can pull it out and seal the gate," the Queen said, advancing regally.

"So, three of us against the whole Demon World?" Krillin gulped, looking into the darkness. The King shook his head.

"No, Shula is merely a lord of the Demon World, one of the youngest at that, but he is famed for his power, and it seems the Demon World is in atypical chaos for centuries, with their king having vanished. You will face the Host of Shula, and whatever guests he has."

The Queen cleared her throat.

"We are not asking you to best Shula. Ox King being able to remove the sword changes things. We need only retrieve my daughter and then seal the Fiend Gate. Let Shula be the strongest in that hell, with the way barred it means nothing to this world."

"So, three of us against them to rescue the princess?" Chichi said heartily.

"No, Ox King should remain here, and keep working on the sword so it's ready to be pulled clear at a moment's notice," King Kriss said.

"Hey now! You're asking me to send my precious little girl into the Demon World without me!?"

"Daddy! I'm not a little girl anymore, I'm a warrior and a woman now, you've been preparing me for grownup responsibility. And what's more grownup for a royal than saving a princess from an evil wedding?"

"You're right, it's just… they grow up so fast!" Ox King and Chichi hugged, crying happy tears. Krillin scooted up to the Queen.

"Is this normal for royalty?"

"No. Sadly, in my experience, this is a tad more healthy than normal for a royal family."

"Erk, maybe I was lucky to be born common?"

"Don't get carried away, I've got a gold-plated bidet at home."

"Point taken, Your Majesty."

"Right then! Let's go, there's a damsel in distress, and we're the gallant heroes going to save her!" Chichi declared, striking a dramatic pose next to Krillin, then wiggled happily in place, "This will be just like a fairytale."

"I'm pretty sure we don't fit the bill for most fairytale heroes," Krillin remarked, then realized Chichi was already marching down the foreboding tunnel into another world.

"Hey, wait for me, Chichi! It's dangerous to go alone!" Krillin called, scrambling after her.

"…I got a good feeling about that kid," Ox King said to no one in particular, before he resumed tugging on the sword.

"Sire, are we really just supposed to stand around?" one of the knights asked King Kriss.

"Yes, actually."

Soon:

"This place is getting creepier," Krillin gulped, keeping pace with Chichi. Sure enough, the merely grim walls were now practically covered with pictures of demon faces leering at them, and the pillars adorned with nasty limbs seeming to reach out.

"Someone spent too much on interior decorating," Krillin tried to laugh it off.

"Nah, it's probably just defeated demons condemned to be turned to stone for eternity," Chichi remarked, matter of factly.

"…That makes it worse!"

"Weren't we supposed to be sneaking in?" Chichi asked Krillin.

"Well, you're not," a deep voice boomed from ahead. They stopped for a moment, but then advanced as the corridor widened into a long wide chamber, and they were faced by a horned giant at least three times the size of the Ox King, with gray-green skin, a steel pointed helmet, and a pair of horns with a thick-set muscular body.

"I am Gola, and you may not pass," the demon said, rapping his great staff on the floor. To his size it was a quarter staff, but to them it was like he'd stolen a street and trimmed it down.

"One of Shula's minions, eh?" Chichi said, assuming a stance.

"No, not at all. We are the Guardians of the 37th Mortal Gate, appointed by King Dabura himself. Only those with a permission slip from the King of Demons or the Guardian of Earth can pass through. Unless, of course, you have something from the appropriate Kaioshin?" A female voice told them.

"Kai oh what?" Krillin asked.

"Well, you don't need a permission slip to be a hero, let's do it, Krillin!" Chichi declared, charging Gola.

Gola shifted his staff to block Chichi's punch, but she grabbed it with her other hand and spun around on it once like a gymnast to release and land a kick on his chin. He stumbled back and rubbed the spot she'd hit.

"A tail? Humans don't have tails," Gola noted as Chichi landed on the ground.

"Well, some humans do!" Chichi countered.

"Guess I'd better get in there and help. Though she seems to be doing okay," Krillin noted, as Chichi dodged Gola trying to swat her with his staff.

"The big guy hasn't really started trying yet," a woman said behind Krillin. Turning, Krillin saw the unseen speaker. She was a beautiful woman, but her bright pink almost purple skin, pair of white goat horns emerging from her long brown hair, and long pointed ears showed she was not just a very pretty shapely human.

Still, Krillin took her in, from the short-sleeved armor that showed off her figure to the very short shorts and green leggings that left a good bit of her hips exposed, and the fan-shaped crown that made her look a bit cute as well as regal.

She smiled, showing off two rows of impeccable but pointed teeth.

"Like what you see?"

"Yes. But I know it never ends well," he said, assuming a stance.

"…Do you mean mortals with demons, or just you and women in general?" she asked. Krillin landed a kick on her stomach, making her fold as she stumbled back.

"I don't want to talk about it!" he yelled.

"Great job, Krillin!" Chichi gave him a thumbs up, before jumping off a sweeping blow from the staff. She used that jump to land a flurry of punches on his belly followed by a palm strike with a yell. That last blow actually made Gola take a step back.

"Hmm, you have more than bug bites, then? Alright, maybe I should start getting serious if this is a real fight. But are you sure you won't just turn around? This is not a good place for little mortals to go," Gola said.

Krillin ducked under a dagger on a string that sliced through the air. With a flick of her wrist, the she-demon pulled the blade back into her hand.

"You dodged that. I can see why you were sent; I know demons that would have been forced to block that or just take the hit. I am Melee, co-guardian of this gate,"

"Krillin, student of the Kame Senin!" Krillin gulped.

"Huh, that one is still alive? He's mortal, right, is that allowed, to live so long, I mean?" Melee asked, looking confused.

"I just want to rescue the princess!" Krillin yelled, charging. Melee's eyes widened, and Krillin's punch hit her in the stomach again. She went to her knees, gritting her teeth. Krillin froze as she grabbed his wrist with one hand, and put her dagger to his neck with the other.

"That really did hurt," she smiled, wide-eyed, getting into his face. A long tongue came out of her mouth and licked his cheek.

"Uhh, sorry, but if you're not going to eat me, I don't wanna do the other thing," he gulped. The grin widened, and she sniffed the air three times, before her eyes narrowed back to looking normal.

"You truly are. Well, I have never forced the issue, and I never will. Some demonesses have class," she said, releasing him and standing to take a step back.

"Gola! Stand down!" she called. Then did a double take, along with Krillin. Chichi had apparently knocked Gola's helmet off, and was presently in his mouth, holding his teeth apart with a foot planted on his extended tongue while he sported a black eye.

"I'm winning, Krillin!" Chichi yelled.

"…Are you sure?" Krillin sweatdropped.

"Gola, take that out of your mouth! What are you, a century old?" Melee demanded, pointing accusingly.

"If not my halt! She 'ried eww 'unch my 'eeth and I wez 'aying 'omething then she 'arted attacking my 'outh!" Gola objected, waving his hands.

"I've got him on the ropes!" Chichi declared, and kicked one of his teeth out with a spray of blood. Gola yelled and grabbed Chichi, trying to pull her out of his mouth.

"…There's something you don't see every day," Krillin said, as Melee joined in a sweatdrop.

"Me neither, we should do something about that."

Shortly:

"So, you're only here to rescue that princess?" Melee said. Gola stood behind her with a giant-sized ice pack on his eyes, and Chichi stood next to Krliin, with a pointy giant tooth strapped to her back.

"Yes, we wouldn't come here otherwise, right?" Krillin said.

"And nothing will stop us in our quest for justice as heroes of virtue," Chichi declared, puffing out her chest.

"Well, you might be surprised how many times mortals come here to cause trouble. Stuff here can be valuable mortal-side, or looking to bind demons to servitude, or idiots who mistake this for another afterlife and start fights thinking they're saving dead mortals or something," Melee explained.

"Does that mean I have to give the tooth back?"

"Yes./No."

"…You know the rules, Gola, she won it fair and square. Besides, you'll grow a new one in three days," Melee told the giant.

"But that's three days, Melee."

"Why do you want that, Chichi?" Krillin asked.

"There are stories of demon teeth being forged into weapons, it could make a weapon present for Goku. Maybe a dashing sword, ohh, or an elegant spear."

"Actually, my teeth are best as war hammers," Gola said, still frowning.

"It's true," Melee confirmed.

"A hammer? Well, it's not very romantic, but it's manly," Chichi mused.

"You're really letting us go?" Krillin pressed.

"Yes, Shula was able to loophole his way using that sword of his to open the gate. And as a Lord, he can give his vassals permission to go out and muck about. But that doesn't mean we're happy about it. As far as we're concerned, putting a stop to this 'marry a human princess' business is Shula getting what he deserves," Melee told them, nodding confidently.

"Well, there's that, also…" Gola began.

"That Shula is a huge jerk! The law of the Demon World says as a Lord he has to marry a noble or royal lady soon or be cursed! I've spent centuries threatening or bribing every eligible woman in the Demon World to make sure I'd get that hunk of demon man for myself, and now he pulls this 'kidnap a princess' cliche!? I've been after him since we were kids! I'll never forget that fight for the last bagel. He punched out all my teeth and then kicked me so hard in the chin my horns finally popped out. I was in a blissful coma for nights," Melee went from furious to sighing. Krillin and Chichi stared.

Then Chichi snapped her fingers.

"I get it. With demons, hurting is like flirting," she stated.

"Nope. Melee's just one of those types," Gola said.

"So I, Melee, will help right the wrong Shula has done with his rule bending and get that mortal princess away from my marriage bed. Now, you'll need disguises," Melee said, pulling out a pair of oak leaves.

"Shula is going to put you in traction for this," Gola told her as she advanced on the two wary humans.

"He knows better than to threaten me with a good time," Melee chuckled, giving way to a maniacal laugh that echoed through the halls of Demon World.

X X X

"So, you plan to attend the celebration in a nightgown?" Shula said, entering the guest room his future wife was in. She was sitting by the vanity, the negative copy demon brushing her hair. Shula gave a snap of his fingers, and the red-eyed black mass shaped like Princess Misa bowed and climbed onto the vanity to leave through the mirror.

The room was richly adorned with reds, blacks, and purple highlights, styled after human royalty styles; he'd even had the skulls and portraits of skulls removed and replaced with dead tree pictures.

The princess huffed and went over to the bed, throwing herself face down on it. Shula frowned a bit and moved to sit next to her. He picked up the gown laid out on it. It wasn't even racy, he respected she wasn't ripe yet. True, he was well aware he toed a line with this kidnap marriage thing, but even so, one had to have standards even in Demon World.

"I could have Nega come and model it for you," he offered.

"She already did," Misa said into the sheets.

"What can I do to make you more comfortable?" he asked.

"Let. Me. Go," she said.

"Not happening," he answered, rubbing his temples.

"Then I'm not going to be happy," she snapped.

"Listen, this is happening, but it doesn't have to be unpleasant. Once we're married, you'll turn into a Demon Lady, that means no growing old and wrinkly, and an absurdly long lifespan by mortal reckoning. You might even get magic. Doesn't that sound nice?" he asked lightly, stroking her brown hair. The twelve-year-old rolled over and away from him to glare.

"One. You're creepy. Two, you only want to marry me because it will let you annex my father's kingdom as a subsidiary of Demon World after he dies; I heard your minions talking. And thirdly, I told you I don't like boys like that," she ground out.

"Well, that last one is no big deal. Most demonesses I've met go both ways, so you might be getting expanded horizons as a part of the deal."

She threw a pillow in his face. He didn't react.

"And if not, well, no need for a marriage to include that. So long as they are of station and you remain loyal to me as your lordly husband, I don't care how many paramours you take."

"Well, I want to marry for love!" she snapped. Shula frowned now.

"Well, I don't want to marry a woman who is always picking fights with me because she enjoys a handsome man pounding her into mush more than even a demoness should. Looks like only one of us gets what they want, and I choose me. Now get up. The party is starting, and we are needed as guest of honor and host to start the battles. You can come along and keep your dignity, or I can carry you like a sack of kidneys," Shula threatened.

"Mph, you deserve to marry your stalker," Misa said, hopping off the bed and sticking her tongue out at him.

X X X

The arena for the party was what Misa expected. Made out of black stone, with a square arena raised up with a pair of thrones looking down on it from high. And a mass of demons mingling around the arena, while others spectated on the balconies ringing the room.

She looked sideways at Shula, who hardly seemed to be enjoying the fights, as demons pulled themselves up to fight on the arena before him. He was more human-looking than most. Aside from his light purple skin, pointed ears and devil style horns, he could pass for a manly yet elegantly handsome man.

Still, given how most of his subjects looked, Misa wondered how standards of beauty worked in this world.

It felt awkward being in front of so many in only a nightgown, though they hardly seemed to be paying attention to her. But she wasn't going to accept any gifts. In the stories, you got trapped in other worlds by eating the food, or drinking something. So, a gift of clothes being binding wouldn't surprise her.

Not that she could escape, she didn't know the way out for one, and she'd seen how quick and strong the demons were.

'I don't want to be a demon. And I don't want my parents' kingdom to become a playground for these punks.'

"I want to go home," she said aloud.

"In time, you will see this place as home, and wonder how you were ever content with such a small, dull realm," Shula told her, not unkindly. She could almost pity him; he hardly seemed the sadistic demon of legend, and it seemed he was doing this to her more out of desire to escape a situation than being a bad guy. But she wasn't going to feel sorry for him, because he'd dragged her, her family, and their kingdom into his problems.

Had it even crossed his mind to just offer that deal to other human princesses instead of grabbing the first one he found?!

"Oh, never seen this one fight. She looks strong," Shula said, leaning forward in interest, eyebrow quirked on his tattooed forehead.

Misa actually looked at the arena, and saw the warty ogre thing was facing a monkey demon woman wearing a black gi. Squinting, she thought the gi had the character for 'hare' on it.

The monkey woman bowed to the ogre, hands together. The ogre roared, raised a fist, and slammed it down on her. Except she was no longer there, driving a knee into his throat with a war cry. The ogre gasped and fell onto his back. The stocky red demon in a referee outfit gave the count and declared him out.

"Victory to… uh, sorry, what was your name again?" the referee asked.

"Ihcihc," the demon woman told him and the arena, voice carrying.

"Oh my," Misa said.

"Oh, you like? She's good, but with such a lopsided match, it's hard to tell. Let's keep this going, shall we?" Shula said, giving the referee a specific hand gesture.

"Lord Shula is pleased with her performance, he desires MORE! Challengers, step forth and give your lord sport!" the referee demanded.

A dog demon in a red hakama leapt up into the arena, a cat demoness in a green kimono cheering him on.

As before, there was no signal to start. The dog demon attacked with strikes of his claws, forcing Ihcihc back. She grabbed his wrist, then threw him to the ground with a grapple. But his foot came up to strike her on the chin, breaking the grip. He rolled to his feet and got punched across the face. Blood came from his mouth, and he grinned, leaping up into the air, wiping the blood on his claws.

"Eat this, monkey!" he yelled, swiping his claws in the air and sending a hail of red energy blasts down at his foe, who crossed her arms, taking it. Misa gasped as dust was kicked up.

"Well, let's see," Shula said, leaning forward in his throne.

"Heh, trying to take that head on, she was just a brute," the dog demon said with a barking laugh.

The dust parted as the monkey woman surged out and landed a punch, whose impact Misa could hear in the dog's belly. He doubled over, passing out with a canine whine. Which left him open to a kick to the chin that sent him up and out of the arena.

No sooner had he been declared defeated by out of bounds than the green-clad cat leapt into the arena, her fur on edge and eyes glowing red.

"Now you're getting into the spirit, or perhaps you've found your fist pick as paramour?" Shula said to her. That made her snap out of the thrill and assume the snooty dignity her mother taught her to deal with undesirable company and news reporters.

X X X

'Well, I guess a distraction should grab attention,' Krillin thought, watching the disguised Chichi get into a literal cat fight in the arena. He looked down at the green hands he currently had on. The illusion that Melee had put over them with those leaves felt like he was wrapped in wet cloth. It was the same for Chichi, apparently, but even so…

"Why do I have to be the goblin?" he asked. Even as some monkey monster, Chichi was still pretty in a weird way, while he hadn't even gotten a nose out of his disguise.

"I hear ya, buddy, why do some demons have to be goblins, right?" a big-nosed goblin with warts on his face grabbed Krillin over the shoulders. Cheeks flushed, stinking breath, and a jug in hand this goblin was the definition of drunk.

'Well, it is a party,' Krillin thought, wincing at the horrible breath.

"You know, I always wanted to get human women, too. But unlike Lord Shula, human women take one look at me and they're all 'Eww! A goblin! Save me, Mr. Handsome!' I mean, I didn't ask to be small and ugly with only ugly goblinesses interested in me! And I tried to play the game! I saved up money for a talisman to look like a handsome human! And some hero breaks it in like an hour of me getting over to a mortal realm! I just wanted to be pampered by human women, and then eat their heads! Then bring the body back to sell the parts for beer money! Is that too much to ask!?" the goblin sobbed.

"Er, that's real rough," Krillin said.

"Gobak! Again with the sob story?" Another goblin said, ripping Krillin's shoulder crier off, "Every party, I tell you not to drink, you'll make a scene. And you say 'Oh I can handle a bit, it's a party!' And then you go, trying to get all the attention! I'm done feeling sorry for you! I think you're just after attention now, 'look at me and my big ticker tape pity parade'! This guy here has something worth feeling sad over. A goblin with no nose! It's the most disgusting deformity I've ever seen, and he's not making a scene at His Lordship's party."

"Huh, where'd noseless go?" Gobak asked, realizing Krillin was gone.

"See! See?! So tragic, but he doesn't draw attention to himself to the point people don't know he's there or not. That's class!"

Krillin made his way through the press of reveling demons, toward the thrones where the princess and Shula were seated. Reaching the unmarked border that no demon seemed to want to cross near the stairs leading up, Krillin contemplated his next move.

'No guards, but I'll stick out the moment I'm out there. And if this Shula guy is as tough as they say, I can't just fight him head on, never mind all his fans wanting to rip me apart. Come on, Krillin, Chichi is risking her life keeping him distracted, and she'll draw him away once she sees me close. There has to be a way…'

"Move it, this wine is for master and the lady to be!" A goblin in a black suit said, trying to elbow his way through the seemingly oblivious crowd.

'That might work,' Krillin thought, ducking into the crowd.

X X X

Chichi wiped away sweat after punting away an albino child demon that had tried to cut her up with a halberd. She was thankful when a woman of matching color leapt up into the air to catch the boy. His mother?

That got her thinking of Goku, and the children they'd have in the future. What stories they would have to tell the children, she thought, before glancing to Shula. And smiled.

Krillin was there between the two, still in disguise as a putrid little goblin. He handed a glass of wine from a tray to Shula, and one to the princess, who threw its contents down his mouth before handing back the cup.

Perfect, she thought.

"Shula! I'm tired of fighting this riff-raff I came to this party to get my heart pumping!" Chichi yelled, stomping her foot on the arena; she wasn't surprised at the resulting crack in the stone.

"Why don't you prove that you're man enough to steal a mortal princess like in the stories! Come down and show your might!" she yelled, pointing at Shula. She relished his stunned expression, and was a bit excited as well as scared at the smile that split his face.

"Ha! I don't need to prove anything to a fighter whose name never reached my ears until today. But I do like your boldness, it's an attractive quality in demon women. And you seem to have gained the admiration of my bride. Very well, though you have not earned it, I will fight you," Shula said, descending the stairs. The demons cheered, most chanting his name but some lifting her fake name. It was an odd feeling in her chest, rising up from her feet to flow around her torso, making her head feel a tad cold but in a pleasant way.

And she saw Krillin in that servant uniform scoot close to the princess while still holding the tray.

"Let's make it interesting," Shula declared, stepping into the arena. "If I win, you have to be my vassal for fifty years, with I alone dictating the terms of your vassalage. But if somehow you win, I'll grant you a wish according to the King's law."

The crowd oohed at that.

Chichi just started the fight, rushing him and trying to jab him in the throat. It almost connected, the demon lord looking surprised a bit as he retreated, as if floating like a leaf on the air.

"You really do fight a lord the same as a commoner. I'm not sure if that's admirable or stupid," Shula said, frowning. He crossed his legs, not sitting down; he floated in the air as he tucked his legs like it was the most natural thing.

"I won't need my legs to beat you. No sense getting this over with too quickly," Shula said, a near smile on his face.

Chichi scooted closer to him, watching him for some sign. No stance, no seeming preparation; one could think he was waiting for his tea.

She resisted the urge to look at what Krillin was doing, and charged him silently.

He didn't parry or block, he moved. She blinked at the bizarreness, as Shula moved more like a box being tilted than anything else. Other than his long hair shifting as he tilted around her blows, he was unchanging.

With a cry, she gave a roundhouse kick, which he floated just ahead of and then sped off, abandoning the cross-legged pose to fly through the air. The audience might have thought she kicked him out, but she knew she hadn't connected. He came back, gaining speed; it was all Chichi could do to cross her arms and block the palm strike aimed at her belly. Even so, she was sent reeling back, while Shula rose casually from the bent-knee posture he had fallen into delivering the blow. Chichi shook her arms, trying to disperse the pain, and started stalking around him.

"Fast enough to block it, but not dodge it? You can take a hit," Shula said. Crossing his legs again, he levitated and shot toward her.

'It's hardly a handicap, most people wouldn't be used to fighting someone so skilled at a low angle like this,' Chichi thought, blocking the jabs and punches Shula hurled up at her. But she had trained with Krillin since her growth spurt. Not a master, but not a novice at this angle.

Shula withdrew and assessed her.

"Fine then, I could wear you down piece by piece, but I want to see how well you can take the Demon Spiral Fist," Shula said. He extended his right arm and ran his left hand over it, rings of softly glowing white light covered in snow-like stripes. Shula raised himself up to look her in the eye, his glare as cold and steady as stone. Chichi braced herself for him, closing to attack.

He thrust his fist out into the air between them, and the rings were thrust together before pouring out a spiral, striking Chichi and the arena floor around her. She couldn't stop the scream, feeing her uniform get torn, and bruises and lacerations opening across her. Stones buckled up from the floor as she was forced down, and toppled over atop her.

She didn't pass out. Breathing hard, she could only listen to the ringing fade in her ears in favor of applause for Shula as the referee counted down.

'That's the power of a demon champion. Goku wouldn't have lost. Why did I even bother training?' she lamented internally.

"Where is my bride!?" she heard Shula yell.

Doubts and pity were swept away. Rescue the Princess. Help Krillin. Be the hero in the storybook, followed those thoughts without prompting, but she had no time to push it away. The stones fell away, and the putrid air of the Demon World filled her lungs.

Shula had been shouting orders, but he turned to face her, eyes wide.

"A human woman?" he said, stunned.

"I'm a princess, you perv!" she said and, feeling like she stuffed a sun down her pant leg, she chambered a kick while leaping. Shula moved, but then stopped, catching a pair of daggers that had been flying toward his chest; her kick connected with his throat. The demon lord went flying as light flashed through the room and her shoe exploded.

"…What was that?" Chichi wondered, standing on one foot as all the demons writhed about, clutching their faces, many screaming about light.

"This way!" Melee said, clapping Chichi on the shoulder. The demon was pointing toward a doorway and had sunglasses on her face.

"Right," Chichi said, and started running.

X X X

"Don't heroes usually carry the princess to safety!?" Misa asked, as she ran down the corridor with Krillin practically dragging her along.

"Well, either you need to get shorter or I need to get taller, now run faster! There's no point in sneaking now that they are looking for you."

"Well, maybe if you'd given me the disguise instead of throwing it away, they wouldn't care about a human eloping with a gobliness!"

"Just because that's a good idea doesn't mean you aren't being very rude!" Krillin yelled as they ran on.

"I'm sorry, this has been a very rough time for me! Now get me out of here and I'll get you your weight in gold!" Misa yelled back.

"Hi Krillin! Hi Princess Misa!" Chichi said, catching up to them.

"Chichi! You're alive!" Krillin cheered.

"And you rescued the Princess, good job Krillin! But Shula's army is getting closer," she said, turning her head back toward the cacophony of monster noises and howls.

"Why don't you take the Princess then, so we can run faster?" Krillin said, irritated at the statement of the obvious.

"Right. Rescue the Princess! We can do it!" Chichi declared, grabbing Misa and holding her overhead while kicking her running into high speed. Krillin accelerated as well, keeping pace while Misa was stunned, as her hair was thrown back and wind whipped her face.

Then she blushed, realizing she was essentially being held by the butt by a lovely lady.

"Don't look back, onward to victory!" Chichi cheered.

"Why are you so into this!?" Krillin shouted as the horde drew closer. The angry voices of the demons reached their ears.

"Wedding crashers!"

"Noseless losers!"

"I'll use you as scratching posts!"

"I'll boil you alive!"

"I'll serve you wine made from your own vineyards!"

"I'll rip off your heads!"

"I'll eat your cereal!"

"Why are the human women always running away from me!?"

"Shut up, Gobak!"

The horde of monsters was fast; despite the heroes' speed, the demons were closing the distance. Then a massive figure stepped out between the escaping mortals and the crowd of demons.

Gola rapped his staff on the floor and raised a hand.

"Halt, you don't have a permission slip!" he declared. The demons in the front row skidded to a halt and got trampled by those behind, who tripped on them. About half the horde was trampled before the remainder stopped in front of the massive demon.

"Wait a second. Don't we have standing permission with Lord Shula having forced the gate?" the cat demoness said, tugging her dog boyfriend out from under a large toad demon.

"Yeah! You can't stop us from plundering and pillaging, least of all punishing them for trespassing."

"Shula's banner only covers you if he's here or gives you a written permission slip."

"Don't stop, you idiots! I'm coming right now!" Shula shouted, running up the corridor, kicking up dust in his wake. The remaining horde roared and charged past Gola, going around his legs like a river.

"We're almost there, I can see the stars!" Krillin cheered. And sure enough, they saw Ox King staring down from the doorway as their path ascended.

"Daddy, get ready to pull the sword out! There's an army behind us!" Chichi yelled.

"You got it!" Ox King said, kneeling by the sword, which was tilting now with most of the gold-sheened blade out of the ground.

The fastest of the demons drew close, reaching out with clawed hands, tendrils, and extra-long tongues inching closer and closer as the heroes tried to draw on just a bit more speed. Then they fell forward with assorted sounds of surprise, feet caught on a trap wire anchored by a fresh thrown dagger embedded in the wall and Melee's grip.

Once again, the horde tripped over itself, and the heroes pulled ahead, oblivious to the details behind them.

"Whoopsie, I missed," Melee gasped, hand going to her mouth.

"AHHHHHHHH!" Krillin and Misa screamed, while Chichi roared, bursting through the Fiend Gate and running over a few knights as they kept running.

With a roar of might, Ox King pulled the Sword of Shula clear, and stepping back kicked the Fiend Gate, slamming it shut, a massive series of clicks echoing through the night. And the sound of the demon horde vanished, and a freshness surged back into the air they hadn't realized was missing.

"Did we do it?" Krillin asked, wiping sweat from his brow.

"We did! We saved the Princess!" Chichi declared, holding the girl up high as if she were a prized treasure.

"Could you put my daughter down?" the Queen asked, the King having been slightly trampled, along with his knights.

"Uh, no hurry," Princess Misa said, still blushing.

X X X

"Lord Dabura's urinal cakes!" Shula cursed, kicking the Fiend Gate. Magic sparked and set his boot on fire. A simple roundhouse kick put it out, and he stomped around in front of it while the horde attended to its self-inflicted injuries.

"Tick tock, Shula dear," Melee said, winking. She stood nearby, and lifted one leg, pointing out with her foot and making a come-hither gesture with it. Followed by a wink.

"Forget it, Shula. That sword was special made to breach realms. Without it, not even you can open the Fiend Gate without a key," Gola said, stepping carefully to avoid stepping on any downed demons.

Shula scowled, looking the two of them over.

"We're not under your jurisdiction, Shula. But if you want to punish me a bit, well, might be wiser to save that for after the wedding."

Shula pulled out his pocket watch. Looked at Melee, who tossed her hair and blew him a kiss. He checked his pocket watch again, and sighed.

"I even had two princesses in my hall, it turns out."

"Two human ones, you know home cooking is always better."

"Heh, human? Misa certainly, but that other mortal I'm willing to bet was something quite different," Shula mused, looking back to the gate.

"Doesn't matter now. Odds are we'll never see them again. Just as well; the realms are only meant to mingle in limited fashion, too much is to the detriment of all involved." Gola said.

"So, how about the wedding?" Melee asked, finally putting her foot down.

"…Well, no sense letting a good party go to waste is there?" Shula sighed. Melee beamed and held out her arm. Shula looked at it, shrugged, and hooked his own, walking back through the recovering horde, who raised a battered and confused cheer.

X X X

The castle was in high form for the banquet. The Princess was not only returned, but with the gate sealed, the demons would no longer ravage the country. The King had even held a lottery to let a number of commoners attend the celebration.

Krillin was enjoying the food, but in a measured slow pace. He could gorge at Goku speed, if not such quantities, but unlike the monkey boy he could be well-mannered. Besides, he was dining with royalty for one, and two, food this good deserved to be savored, not forked down like trays of fast food.

Chichi, on the other hand, seemed to have forgotten her manners in enjoyment. And with Ox King situated next to Krillin and her on the other side of the local royals, no one was in a position to subtly correct her, as elegant tunes were played on lyre and lute.

"I see Frypan lives up to its name with manners," the Queen remarked drily.

"Don't insult the powerful warriors, dear," the King whispered through a smile.

"I've never seen a girl so… enthusiastic in dining," Princess Misa sighed, moving food from her own assortment of plates to refill Chichi's, the two princesses seated next to each other.

"Uh, yes. She has been educated on manners, but they seem to have gotten rusty food wise since she trained with my old master. We're working on it."

Chichi stopped and blushed, setting the bowl and spoon down.

"Sorry, when I'm hungry I just want to eat fast. It's like I've never been full before then," she asked.

"So, does she get the tail from her mother's side of the family?" the Queen asked. She flinched as the King stepped on her foot.

"Actually, I got that from a dragon while on an adventure with my dear Goku," Chichi said.

"Goku?" Misa asked.

"He's my fiancé! And he's going to be the strongest martial artist ever! I'm training so I can impress him when our heartfelt yet tragic three years of training in preparation ends," Chichi recounted, starry-eyed.

"…So, you like people who know martial arts?" Misa asked.

The kings then started discussing who would keep the sword, which was currently on display for all to see. Ox King felt it would be good for Fiend to keep it as a memento of the tale, but King Kriss thought it should go to Frypan, both as a way to reward their heroes and to move the blade further from the gate in case some foolish mortal tried to open it with the sword this time.

Krillin felt overlooked in all of this. He'd been on a grand adventure, but had he been a hero? He'd been so sure his life would fall into place if he trained under the Invincible One, but what were his goals beyond the next tournament?

'Don't let it get too much, Krillin, you're still too young to even drink. No sense giving yourself a crisis,' he assured himself, cracking open a crab leg.

Besides, he thought, as Chichi had stepped away from the table to uncapsule her demon tooth and the Ox King started talking over boring king stuff, maybe there were times it was better to just blend into the background of the tale and enjoy life?

"So, young Krillin, I am guessing you will want to be weighed after the banquet?" The Queen asked, having gotten up at some point and approached him.

"Huh, oh, was I eating too much?"

"No, it's all you can eat, young man. Have you forgotten that my daughter promised your weight in gold? I assume you'd rather weigh more than less. Or are you too much of an esoteric to accept money?" the Queen asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry, could you repeat that last part, it's hard to hear with zeni signs in my eyes," Krillin said woozily.

"Hmph, good to see Frypan has some normal inhabitants," she commented, glancing towards the two visiting royals.

"Actually, I'm… thank you, Your Highness," Krillin thought again on his answer.

Overall, between the memories and the gold, Krillin would recall this as a very nice adventure. And so, the duo resumed their training.

Weeks Later, Demon World:

"So, Igor, did it work?" Shula asked, pushing the double doors open. The one-eyed hunchbacked imp cackled and jumped on a table, practically dancing in excitement.

"Oh yes, Lord Shula! How grateful I am to have such a chance to serve. So respected am I among demons in the art of punishment, and you come to me with a worthy challenge. To find a way to punish and discipline one for whom suffering is pleasure, without killing or crippling! Oh yes, such a fine challenge you give to Igor," the well-dressed imp applauded, clapping over his head.

"Can I see?" Shula asked, a near-smile on his face.

"Of course sir, come with me to master's bedchambers. They walked through the apartment, windows looking out on a sky of red with black clouds and the rooms richly appointed. The bedroom was dominated by a magnificent black and red with purple accents canopy bed. And next to it, hanging from a ceiling hook, was a demon-sized cocoon of black velvet, wrapped up in frilly pink ribbons. Shula approached it and saw two eyes glaring out of it and muffled yelling.

"Behold, my master! The newest great name in the torture game! The Velvet Prison of 137 Frills. Made with the finest, softest, strongest, most painstakingly comfortable materials, the captive cannot be hurt, even by herself! Oh, what a wondrous commission you gave to Igor, master! Go ahead, punch her! And she will have no satisfaction of pain thus trapped."

"It can survive my punches?" Shula asked, eying it.

"Oh yes, but only from the outside; I thought ahead to the cliche of a prison being used against its master. Now, go ahead, hit it! Hit it like it's your wife!" Igor danced about joyfully.

"…You really are quite a creep, Igor," Shula commented.

"Thank you, master, thank you, heheheh," Igor chuckled, wringing his hands.

Pulling his fist back, Shula punched Melee through the cocoon of comfy, and sure enough she spun around and twirled but none of the sounds from her were the moaning like he was used to.

"Looks like you did it. But I can't just keep her in there all the time,"

"That's a user issue, my lord. It's up to you to trap her in it when you wish to punish her. I also have it in pink and lilac. And that's not the best part!" Igor continued, as Shula found the zipper and started to let his wife out.

"I am working on weaponry with no pain potential. I call it The Feather! The base is a feather harvested from the Dreaded Woodpeckers of Malchior 7. Which are 12.3 cubits long, have beaks harder than steel, and deadly heat vision! Through arcane and heinous rituals, I make this feather the ultimate tickle device that can make even golems laugh, and even as they are forced to laugh, it will not cause them pain or to smother and die. Well, it will once I work out the kinks. I think the key may be the kind of blood I'm using," Igor said, as Shula finished releasing Melee, who pouted and stormed off.

"You'd better work me over to make up for that one, mister," she snapped, before slamming the door.

"…This can work. How much, Igor?" Shula asked, pulling out a pen and checkbook.

Author's Note:

Ah it was good to write Chichi again. I have had a lot fun with her character in this project. Krillin works well as her straight man here too.

Now though, I will be taking a short break from this story. The next chapter his its rough written but I feel unlike the others before and after it really needs me to get back in there and do better before posting.

Additionally I have some updates for other stories I want to attend too soon.

Well, see you at the next posting.

Long days and pleasant nights to you all.