Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball or The Slayers.

Betaed by: Zim'sMostLoyalServant and my best friend.

LAST TIME ON DRAGONBALL IJ:

Chin dropped quite a bit of backstory for our heroes. It turns out he is not a generic kung-fu saintly hero, and Tenron not quite the thug he seemed. Launch decided to look into this Tenron for herself, and after taking his measure in a somewhat friendly spat encouraged him to give Goku a good fight.

The Queen was not pleased at Chin seeming to have a ringer in Goku, but the King was onboard with Chin's reasoning, letting the exhibition go forward.

Tenron proved himself a powerful martial artist, actually managing to trade blows with Goku. But in his frustration, he broke out an incomplete technique to try and turn the tide in his favor. Nearly dying to this and being saved by Chin gave Tenron pause and Goku the match.

And so, while not quite reconciled, Tenron and Chin made peace, with Tenron and Chin both pledging to meet the Son siblings at the Budokai.

And Princess Misa was there too.

And meanwhile in the strange life of Krillin, the former monk gathered all the ingredients the Ox King requested, in the face of no small adversity. But it was all worthwhile when Chihi took the cake, and apparently almost their lives.

But time stands still for no one, and in the midst of training and adventures the day, of the Budokai draws ever nearer.

What awaits them before that fateful day? You can find out today, on Dragon Ball Intended Journey!

Chapter 26

Slayers: Fraudulence

In Which Stuff Happens

"A training journey? I guess that would explain why you are so ragged," the middle-aged farmer said. He wore a plain, faded red shirt that buttoned up the front, and brown pants with a kasa hat resting on his upper back, the slight but strong build of a man who built his strength from daily life.

Launch and Goku sat on his porch, eating the simple lunch as he stood in the doorway.

"Yeah, the gis are pretty much all we got left now. That and the fancy clothes," Goku noted, seeming surprised by the realization.

"Those fancy duds are useless, I'd sell them if Blue weren't so keen on the idea of wearing it for the reunion dinner after the tournament," Launch said, finishing her meal and setting the bowl and chopsticks aside.

"Well, it sounds like you two have six months or so left until your tournament. It must be a long trip, as I've never even heard of Papaya Island," the farmer said.

"Yeah, Master Roshi told us to not use the Nimbus or vehicles. So, we'll need to find a good stretch of coast and swim the rest of the way there," Launch mused. The farmer laughed, slapping a knee at their joke, not noticing the confused looks from the two. Wiping a tear away, he smiled.

"Ah, this makes me miss my kids. Sometimes. Anyway, whatever you do, don't go west through the mountains," he told them.

"Why?" Goku asked.

"Word has gotten around that the villages there have been getting attacked by a witch of some sort, who commands an evil dragon. She comes in the dark of the night, wrecking villages unless they give her all their food," the farmer recounted, gesturing with his hands to try and convey the horror upon yon peaks.

"That's terrible!" Goku shouted.

"Yes, but don't worry, a mighty hero is hunting her through the mountains, and has sworn to end her reign of terror."

"Is he strong?" Launch asked.

"He must be, to be able to fight a witch and a dragon, dont'cha think? They say he has achieved enlightenment, that he has awakened his third eye and can shed the worldly pull of Earth's gravity as easily as a common man can take off his coat. But anyway, if it's a peaceful trip you want, avoid the west," the farmer brushed off. He looked up to flinch, as the two had invaded his personal space.

"Where exactly in the mountains, old timer?" Launch asked, giving a grin that made him sweat.

X X X

A cold wind blew through the darkness, the village men assembled in the fallow field holding axes, shovels, and even a few machetes. And three old ladies with rifles, one of them smoking a cigarette.

"Steady on, boys, that harvest is ours, we ain't giving it to no ginger-haired punk who can't even respect the law of gravity," the smoking old lady declared.

"Grandmother, maybe you should go to bed and give me the gun?" a big guy with an axe asked.

"No," she said, the cherry on her cigarette brightening.

"But she hasn't been stealing the harvest. She's having people clean out their pantries and cupboards. Maybe she doesn't like veggies and grain?"

"Obviously she has to feed her dragon."

"She's pregnant, I tell ya! Teen pregnancy: aggression, big appetite and hanging around with dragons and flying about, I've seen it all," one of the gun-toting grannies declared.

"No you haven't," one of the men said.

"We're old, don't tell us what we know!"

"Well, you will all soon learn to fear ME! Lina, hero of evil! HHEHEHEH!"

She had long red hair and wore a pink cloak over a maroon shirt, with tight black pants. Fangs caught the light, and her eyes seemed to glow red.

They could tell all this in the dark night, because she was holding a flashlight to illuminate herself as she hung the air above them, cackling.

"Wait, does that mean you're a fallen hero?"

"I think it means she's a hero under a mind whammy."

"Maybe it's that being hero to evil means being bad to good?"

"Ah, you young people, you ask too many questions!"

BANG

"Futile," Lina snickered, hooking her flashlight on her belt while flicking away the bullet she'd caught, "You should all know the drill by now. Get me all the food and put it in a pair of bags, or I'll mess up your wretched little village."

Then she realized no one was looking at her except the old lady smoking a cigarette. They were in loose huddle, discussing things.

"She seems quite young, perhaps the dragon is a bad influence on her?"

"She isn't that young, she's just a shrimp. Probably eats a lot of food thinking it will make her taller."

"She's probably evil because of her flat chest. I had a sister who turned into a werewolf because she had bony legs."

"That isn't how werewolves work."

"Young miss, are you sure you're not channeling your issues into violence because you feel a lack of agency in your own life and so seek to disrupt the lives of others in a cry for help?"

"…What's with you people!? What idjit thought to give filthy peasants books!?"

"Actually, we have indoor plumbing and a small public library-"

Bang Bang Bang

The old ladies opened fire. Lina blinked and gave a sigh of relief.

"There, was that so hard!? Now… Agh! My cloak! This is a rental, you jerks! That's going to eat my allowance for breakfast and lunch! You know what, forget the food this time. Come forth my dragon slave, and mess up their village! You can start with the library. Because I am that evil!" Lina said, clapping her hands together.

…

…

Chirp chirp

"I said, come forth my dragon slave! You'd better not have nodded off!" Lina yelled, clapping her hands so quickly it sounded more like applause.

Then an explosion of crimson light erupted to her left.

"Ah, now we're cooking," she gave a thumbs up, as the column of light turned into a scary-looking black dragon with big wings and a few too many spiky protrusions.

"Roar," it said.

"…Did the dragon just say 'roar'?"

"Eh, they don't make monsters like they used to. I tell ya, one of the badgers when I was a kid would beat what passes for horror movie monsters these days."

"You're the horror movie monster, grandma. The hateful thing that won't leave my house."

"Please, blast them. Blast them so much, I command it!" Lina ordered, jabbing her finger repeatedly at the peasants, while stomping her feet on the empty air.

The dragon opened its mouth, and a blast sputtered out to strike in the midst of the militia. The ground burst apart, sending them flying with plumes of dirt in the explosions.

"Heheheh. Ruin my operating formula, will you? Well, by the time I'm done with you, you won't have two coins to rub together to pay Baldy MacHairless for one of his me-repelling sutras."

"Ki Pistol!"

"Wha whatso?" Lina said, before a ki blast slammed into her stomach. With a coughing squeak, she was sent flying and spinning before colliding with the stone silo, spreadeagled and upside down. Her hair slid off, revealing a black bun under the wig, before she peeled off the wall and fell forward onto the grass.

"Is it the Enlightened Warrior!?" a random peasant shouted.

"Nope," Launch said, stepping out of the shadows, cracking her knuckles.

"Okay Launch, now I get the dragon," Goku said, joining her.

"Hey! That's not how this goes!" the dragon objected in a squeaky voice.

"Sure it is, now we fight!" Goku said, assuming a stance.

The dragon fired another blast from its mouth, only to not change expression as Goku dodged it. Leaping through the air, Goku slammed into the dragon's spike-adorned belly and went right through it.

"Huh?" Launch went, as Goku landed on the ground further in the field.

"…it's an illusion, Launch!" Goku called.

"I guessed that!" the blonde snapped.

"Uhh, BEWARE!" the dragon said, before exploding in a flash and bang.

When everyone stopped blinking and their hearing returned, there was no trace of the strange-sounding beast. But there was groaning as the de-wigged girl pulled herself up from the ground.

"Why you, I will-" the trickster said, before Launch kicked her in the chest. She bounced off the wall again, leading Launch to kick her again. After repeating it three more times, Launch stepped aside, letting the girl fly past her. She raised her eyebrow as the so-called Lina skidded along the ground on her feet and pivoted to face her, assuming a stance.

"Don't underestimate me, oh noooo," She said, before her eyes rolled up and she toppled to the side.

"That was weird," Goku pouted.

"Nobody panic, I have an associate's degree in child psychology," one of the local men shouted.

"Quiet, you! Son number three, fetch momma's tool box," one of the granny's said tossing her cigarette away.

X X X

"I ain't telling you nothing! I'll never talk!" the alleged Lina shouted.

"You're talking right now!" Launch shouted at the girl, who was tied up like a caterpillar in a cocoon, except it was chains. She'd already snapped the ropes, so now it was chains.

"Thank you for your help. With any luck, the Enlightened Warrior will soon arrive and exorcise the evil spirits corrupting this child."

"The only thing possessing her is likely negligent parents."

"Nothing wrong with her being spanked more couldn't have fixed," one of the grannies said, showing off the fake fangs she's stolen from the girl along with the red contact lenses.

"Mother, take those out, at least wash them first."

Launch walked away from the discussion and out of the shed into the night air. She went on to where Goku was seated on a tree stump outside the local jail shed.

"That was lame, Launch. Think the Enlightened Warrior will be stronger?" Goku asked.

"Maybe, but I think we should stay up tonight, kid," Launch said.

X X X

"Please tell me this is a joke?" Tien demanded, standing atop a boulder. Chiaotzu hovered next to him, as in the gully below them, Bulma screamed out a battle cry and uppercutted a waterfall.

"It's not. Yurin got caught," the pale child told him. Tien facepalmed, before glaring with his third eye at Bulma.

"Knees wider apart! You won't channel the forces of life and the universe with improper posture! Well, I'm responsible for her, as the one in charge of this little expedition."

"So, you'll be playing the hero again?"

"Not this time; Yurin's been made, it would be inconvenient if these warriors outed me in front a whole village. Wiping that many weaklings out is beneath me. No, take me to the village, we're getting her out tonight, the sneaky way. Then we stop this little side scam and buckle down for a proper training trip, no further distractions."

"But I like being the dragon, Tien."

"Then you should have crushed those that oppose us. Learn from this. Now, Bulma! Keep punching that waterfall until you can split it to the crest! No breaks!"

"You don't think I can do it Three Eyes!? I am so going to make this water wish it was never born!"

Later:

"This should be far enough," Yurin said, coming to a halt. Tien stopped a few paces ahead of her in the mountain clearing, while Chiaotzu went a way further before backtracking.

"What now?" Tien asked tersely. Yurin assumed a stance, giving a cocky grin.

"You know the deal, you owe me a fight now," she demanded squeakily. Tien rolled two eyes, the third glaring at her.

"That doesn't count when you fail. I even had to break you out of that hick prison."

"No way! Once I had a nap and a meal, I'd have gotten away on my own," she objected.

"Not to mention you lost your props. That's coming out of your allowance," Tien told her. Yurin puffed her cheeks out.

"I don't see you calling him out on being a bad dragon," she said, pointing to Chiaotzu.

"You were in charge, you're responsible," Tien crossed his arms.

"Well too bad, we're fighting anyway! Prepare yourself, baldie!" Yurin said, dashing forward, reaching up her short sleeves and pulling a pair of sutras out.

"Yurin Curse Strike of-!"

Tien's kick connected without even bothering to uncross his arms. The girl went flying and hit a pine tree, which creaked then cracked, and finally fell over to the side as she flopped to the ground.

"You're still at least five years too early to challenge me, fool," Tien smirked.

"She can't hear you, Tien."

"I know that, Chiaotzu, it's meant to be dramatic and intimidating."

"To who?"

"Don't question Master Shen's teachings. Hmm, I suppose I'll have to carry her now, it'd be bothersome if a bear or something carried her off. Are you two going to say anything, or just pretend we didn't meet?" he asked, picking up Yurin and slinging her over his shoulder like a sack.

"So, nice little scam you got going here," Launch said, lifting a tree branch to reveal her and Goku up a nearby tree.

"At first I was frustrated at not being able to shake you two from our tail. But then I decided we might as well finally meet," Tien said with a grin as the two Turtle students hopped down to the ground.

"So, they're bad guys, right Launch?" Goku asked.

"Bad guys? Now, what's so wrong with parting fools from their money?" Tien asked mockingly. Chiaotzu chuckled along with him, rising up into the air.

"Yeah, your little two man con. The girl robs them, then you come along to solve the problem for money, 'fighting' her off and looking heroic, then you charge for some fake sutras to keep her away. And pale boy there sells her bad acting with high budget special effects. But I can tell you're strong, big guy, so why not just go full bandit?" Launch asked.

"Heh, you two are with the Kame School. I wouldn't expect you to understand. I'm past the point where I'd get anything out of simple thuggery. Besides, I don't need money, I could just take what I wanted when I want. This exercise was for these two subordinates of mine to apply themselves to seeking fortune beyond just beating money out of people. It's a work in progress," Tien admitted, glancing at Chiaotzu and the unconscious Yurin.

"So what, you're martial artists and scammers? That's kind of pathetic," Launch pointed out. That earned her a glare as she and Goku leapt down to the ground.

"We are disciples of the great and powerful Crane Hermit, a master who is only rivaled by the so-called Muten Roshi. Lowly students like you have no business questioning his teachings."

"Oh right, we've heard there was another hermit before, right?" Goku pointed out.

"The Crane Hermit ain't a secret, Goku," Launch reminded him, "He just has a lot fewer cool stories than our pervy old guy."

"Hey, our master isn't a pervert! That Roshi is pathetic!" Chiaotzu objected.

"So here we are, students of rival schools, clashing over ideals. Is there any way this can be resolved other than fighting?" Tien wondered, smiling.

"It's been a long time since we had a good fight besides each other," Goku grinned, assuming his stance. Chiaotzu flew to stand in front of Goku. Goku blinked, leaning to look past him.

"Don't even look at Tien, monkey boy. He's here to fight the so-called champion, not some nobody," the pale child said, his face expressionless.

Launch stretched her arms and cracked her neck, stepping forward. She looked to the girl still draped over Tien's shoulder.

"Aren't you going to stash the brat before we throw hands, cueball?" she asked. Tien grinned, and vanished in a flicker. Launch grunted as his knee sunk into her stomach and sent her stumbling back a few paces.

"She may be a lousy martial artist at this point. But the little witch makes a fine handicap," Tien remarked, jerking his shoulder to make her body bounce a bit on his shoulder. She stirred a bit, but didn't wake up.

"Bastard, don't think you can use that as an excuse when I beat you!"

"You, beat me? Everyone knows you only won the tournament because that Jackie Chun fellow was exhausted and over the hill. And I know you won because these days, the real champions of the world don't bother with the Budokai. That title means nothing," he sneered.

"Right. So, I'll get some meaning, by breaking that face of yours!" Launch said, closing the distance and forcing him to raise his free arm to block the punch.

"That's my Rocket Launch!" she told him. His fist slammed into her jaw and sent her staggering back from the uppercut.

"That, was a punch," Tien said. He gave a cocky grin as Launch charged back, dodging her kick and then catching her fist in his free hand. As she got ready to punch him with her free hand, he twisted, and she blinked before being slammed into the ground.

"Come now, champion, don't go easy on little ol' me. I want a challenge, otherwise I'll be up all night after getting this worked up," he chuckled. The chuckle was cut off as she spun on the ground, knocking his feet out from under him. He caught himself like he was doing a one-handed pushup, before hitting the ground. And sprang back to his feet as Launch kicked at his face, halfway to her own feet.

His feet set, he ran a thumb over his forehead, frowning.

"Just a graze, but you thought you were too good for getting grazed, right?" Launch taunted.

"Well, I suppose it wouldn't be rivalry if we just stomped you into the dirt with no effort," Tien remarked.

"Huh, what's going on- hey! What?! Wow! Put me down!" Yurin shouted, flailing in Tien's grip as he ignored her and continued dodging Launch's blows.

"Hey, fight right!" Goku said, as Chiaotzu kicked him again. Goku was knocked rolling across the ground again as a ghoulishly grinning Chiaotzu minus his hat and sporting a black eye advanced on him with hands raised.

"We're not in some fancy tournament, monkey. Winning is just about winning. And if all I need is one move to beat you, Tien will be proud."

"That thing and kicking is two moves! You're even worse at math than me!" Goku shouted.

"Shut up!"

"Ki Pistol!" Launch shouted, firing off the spiraling golden blast.

"What!?" Tien exclaimed. His hand lashed out and smacked the beam aside, sending it to shred the bark off a nearby tree. Tien frowned at his hand as Yurin kept trying to properly pummel him in the head.

"That was pathetically weak, but that was some bastardized Dodonpa. Woman! How did you learn about our school's signature attack?!" Tien demanded.

"By getting and giving a beating to that jerk Taopaipai!" Launch declared, back in her stance.

"Lord Tao? You fought him and are still alive? Ridiculous!" Tien declared, throwing a screaming Yurin at Launch. Launch's eyes widened, and she broke stance to catch the kid.

"Huh?" Yurin said, looking Launch in the face. Then she and Launch were both sent flying as Tien kicked the woman in the side.

"Ohhh, that will be felt in the morning," Launch said, getting herself back up.

"Baldy, you jerk! What are you doing with me!?" Yurin demanded, shaking her fist at the senior student.

"Shut up, Yurin. Did you know this girl knew a Dodonpa knockoff?"

"Huh, is that what hit me?"

"Moron, why didn't you mention that?!"

"Sorry, Tien!" Chiaotzu called, standing over a bruised Goku, "I was so worried over everything I forgot to tell you she beat Yurin with that."

"…Well, no matter, Chiaotzu. If even Yurin could survive it, clearly that attack is not just a poor imitation, she clearly hasn't even mastered it."

"Hey!"

"Chiaotzu, your fly's undone," Goku said from the ground.

"Whoops," Chiaotzu said, blushing, hands going to his pats. He paused. "Wait, these pants don't have a-"

He was cut off as Goku punched him in the face, and followed up with a five-hit combo, before the smaller boy zipped up in the air, panting.

"…You know what, this isn't the time or place for grudges to be settled," Tien said. He dashed forward, and Launch prepared to counterattack, only for him to grab Yurin by the back of her tunic and kick up into the air. He didn't fall back to Earth, instead flying to the top of the tree line with the girl yelling and struggling in his grip. Chiaotzu joined him, both of them glaring down.

"I trust you're planning on entering the Budokai again, both of you?" Tien asked.

"Yeah, and so are a bunch of our friends!" Goku called up, taking a spot besides Launch.

"Very good. I'm delighted to hear that. Rest assured, the Crane School isn't going to abstain this time. You Turtles are becoming too haughty in victory, and the masses are forgetting what true power looks like. The Crane School will be there to claim the title Strongest Under the Heavens, and remind everyone we alone have the right to that honor. We've just let you all play pretend. But playtime is over," Tien smirked. He raised a finger toward the stars.

"DODONPA!" he yelled, firing a swift and fierce blast into the ground. When the dust settled, there was no sign of the Crane trio.

"Yuck, my mouth was open," Goku said, trying to brush off his tongue.

"That bastard, fighting with a kid on his shoulder!" she seethed.

"Oh right, you didn't fire off or fight as hard as you could because you were worried you'd hit her, right?" Goku asked.

"Yeah, but still, that guy was good, Goku. I think he's stronger than Tao was, and we only beat him by working together," Launch remarked. Then the dirt she was brushing from her hair tickled her nose.

"Achoo! Oh, I missed something important again, didn't I?" Lunch sighed.

"Yeah, the tournament is going to be awesome!" Goku cheered.

X X X

The Crane trio walked through the woods towards the sound of a waterfall.

"Wow Baldy, way to turn tail and run," Yurin snarked, hands behind her head.

"Hey, Tien never runs from a fight!" Chiaotzu objected, walking on the other side of the older warrior.

"Chiaotzu, don't let her get a rise out of you," Tien admonished calmly.

"Oh, right. I'm ignoring you, Yurin," Chiaotzu said, pointing at the girl who had styled her hair up into the shape of a bow.

"Good, cause I'm ignoring you too. And what do you call that just now if not running? You told Master you could take anything those lousy turtles could bring to a fight."

"I withdrew because I had their measure. That woman is strong, real contender material; even if luck was on her side, she can't be called a weakling. But of course, the Crane soars high above all others. With the top students competing and Master Shen, there's nothing to be concerned about."

"Did they really fight Master Tao?" Chiaotzu asked. Tien's face darkened, and both children stepped away from him without realizing it.

"I find it hard to believe they could face Lord Taopaipai and live. But it's also true that Master asked us to listen for news of him. If they did defeat him, it must have been some manner of trickery or just fortune smiling on them. Either way, we owe it to Master Shen to quickly bring him this word of his brother, even if it proves false. So Yurin, either convince that rich girl to come back with us or we'll leave you out here with her. I'm not going to dawdle."

"What about the Lina scam?" Yurin asked.

"What about it? Thanks to you getting caught, it's ruined. So much for building my reputation as a great warrior whose name is known even in boondocks like this."

"Well, what about my reputation? What will people think if they hear I used to wear a red wig!?" Yurin protested.

"I don't know, what will they think?" Chiaotzu asked.

"Weren't you ignoring me?" Yurin demanded.

"Well, just try and ignore this," Bulma declared. The three almost stepped back in shock, not having noticed the drenched shivering girl standing right in front of them. Her hair was plastered to her head, covering most of her face, and her skin was pale while shivering.

"Ghost!" the kids shouted, leaping behind Tien.

"She is not," Tien stonily declared, rolling all three eyes.

Bulma giggled, stumbling forward and putting her hands on Tien's shoulders. He frowned at that. There was a strange fire in her visible eye.

"I did it," she told him.

"Did what?" Tien asked.

"I cut your precious waterfall in two… I'm going to go to bed now, like a good fruity pop," she told Tien, and fell forward, still gripping his shoulder, slumping into him.

Tien blinked as she started to snore into his chest.

"Nope," Tien said, pushing her off to slam on her back onto the trail. She scratched her belly and wiggled in the dirt before starting to sleep again.

"…Well, if she's telling the truth, yet again she succeeds when she shouldn't. And if she's lying, doesn't matter. Yurin, wake her up or drag her along, Chiaotzu and I will clear camp."

Yurin stuck out her tongue at the two men as they walked off toward the camp. Then she knelt by Bulma and started shaking her, with hands on her ribs.

"Miss Bulma, wake up. This is no place for sleeping."

Bulma grumbled, rolled over, and not hearing the words grabbed Yurin, pulling to her chest in a hug.

"Warm me up, Mr. Kitty," Bulma muttered. Yurin shivered at the cold and soaked embrace, and her thoughts raced on how to escape this grip before she was discovered in such a position.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Well there you have it, the season reaching its end soon.

Long days and pleasant nights to you all.