Dear readers!
Thank you so much for your reviews! They help me to see if I'm moving in the right direction, if I'm lost in my fantasies, missing the point.
Firstly, thank you so much drsh for such an extensive review and I can only say to you "yes, yes, yes", everything you wrote about is what I'm trying to convey. That Scarlett needs friends (I include that in every story I write, she's very lonely) and that she needs to learn to live her emotions and that's the only way she can heal. And their relationship with Rhett, I also love that she pulled away from him, hiding her true feelings for him and deeply hurt by his words about paternity and miscarriage. I hate it when he talks about it in the book, and here, she didn't fall down the stairs physically, but morally he dropped her to the bottom.
But, I still love them both :) they'll just have to try harder to find their way back to each other.
Also, I liked the comment about Scarlett's "retrospectiveness", I started to wonder if I was letting her remember too much. But I think I'll let her do that so that she develops the skills of analysis, introspection, otherwise she won't get ahead. Unfortunately, it is impossible to constantly brush off thoughts and put them off for tomorrow. In the life of our heroine came a turning point (miscarriage and the realization that everything is almost destroyed) and she needs to remember what she was before the war. What she dreamed of, apart from the notorious Ashley. She wanted to be like her mother, obviously with her temperament she wouldn't have been able to do that, but I think she would have wanted a normal family, easy relationships with her children, friends around her and of course a man to love. She realized early on that Rhett was important to her, but with that conversation he pushed her away (both before he left for three months and after), yes, they will have to be brave and open up.
I have to change the book Scarlett as well as Rhett, otherwise they won't move forward with each other. I think that hard life events can affect people in this way, pushing them to change, but old habits just won't go away and they'll say all sorts of things to each other.
Thanks again to everyone for commenting! A new chapter is waiting for you, enjoy reading!
I own nothing in regard to GWTW.
Chapter 9.
"Hello, Scarlett" was the beginning of the letter that had been delivered to her this morning.
Her eyes continued to run quickly over the lines.
"I hope you and the children are doing well. How are they, Scarlett? I'll be honest, the house is empty without you, Bonnie and I miss all of you very much.
She spends a lot of time at Mrs Wilkes' house, but she's always asking about you. I suppose I'll bring her to Savannah in a week, and I plan to stay too, if that's all right with you. We really need to talk to you, Scarlett about us... I have something very important to tell you.
I'll send a telegram as soon as we're on our way. See you, Scarlett. Your Rhett."
Scarlett ran her eyes over the letter again and swallowed hard. Her breathing quickened and the corset, she'd asked Prissy to lace up for the trip into town today, made it hard for her to take a deep breath. She wanted to cry.
Apparently, Rhett is going to come over to discuss the divorce. She asked herself if she was ready for that, but realized she wasn't yet. She didn't have the energy for it.
To lose Bonnie, to lose their last touch with him, even by his last name...She was scared.
"Maybe he'll just want to offer me to live apart, because Bonnie loves me, loves her brother and sister, misses us," Scarlett urged herself and grew colder at the thought that he might not just move into a hotel, but into that woman's house, because rumour had it he had his own room there.
Scarlett felt sick at the thought, angry at herself, at him for humiliating her like that in front of the whole town. "Damn it, he had flaunted our bedroom," she scolded bitterly. "No, he wouldn't dare live there, it's humiliating for everyone. No..."
Scarlett stood pale, clutching the letter in her hands before she could even open the drawing Bonnie had sent her.
"Mummy, Mummy," she heard the voice of her daughter and smiled weakly.
"Mummy," asked Ella, running up to her, "is there a drawing from Bonnie? Did daddy send that letter?" the little girl asked, looking at the piece of paper in her mother's hands.
Scarlett tried to pull herself together today they had a meeting in town with James, his little daughter, and then Gladys promised to come over. Ella was wearing a cute green dress and Prissy had braided her red curls.
Scarlett looked at her daughter, who looked lovely, smiled at her and said, "Ella, you're marvellous! Yes, this is a letter from home, Bonnie and Daddy are coming to visit us soon, they miss you so much, and now let's see the drawing, I haven't opened it yet," she finished, trying to speak in a cheerful tone of voice and to control the trembling in her hands.
As Ella looked at her younger sister's drawing and Scarlett wiped a few tears from her eyes, reading the lines from Bonnie, written in her husband's hand, she remembered that after he'd said they needed to talk, she'd completely overlooked the way he'd signed the letter. "Your Rhett."
Scarlett recalled that they never corresponded. He always came to see her in person, to talk or laugh at her or insult her, it didn't matter. She only received notes from him in New Orleans, when she was having rest in their room alone, or getting ready to the evening, and suddenly the maid would knock and deliver another gift, or candies, or flowers from him, with a sweet, often humorous note in which he addressed her as "my dear wife", "my cat", "my pet", then usually was a phrase that made her want to slap him and laugh with him at the same time, and he always signed it oddly enough "Your Rhett", which usually defeated the point of the note, because those two words evoked very different thoughts and feelings in her. The realization that this grown man felt like he belonged to her had always bothered her. Why he had signed that way, if he didn't think their marriage was anything serious, she didn't know until now. And now there it was again "Your Rhett".
Sighing, Scarlett looked at the clock and realized it was time for them to get out so they could get to the park by the time James was waiting for them.
As they rode in the carriage through the sunny streets of Savannah, she was trying not to replay that letter from her husband in her mind, but no matter how hard she tried, a small wrinkle creased between her brows. She looked sad and thoughtful, though she tried to hide it by joking cheerfully with the children.
Pulling up to the park and seeing it out the window, Scarlett remembered how she and her father had walked there many times in her childhood.
Shady alleys, a beautiful fountain, lawns and scenic paths. Forsyth Park was the jewel of this beautiful seaside town.
Numerous dense trees provided much-needed shade on a hot day, and Scarlett, getting out of the carriage, saw James and his daughter in the distance and they hurried over to them.
As she got closer she saw a slightly dishevelled man, who took off his hat in greeting and a little girl, Ella's age, with the same reddish hair as her father's.
"Hello James," Scarlett said to him quickly and crouched down in front of the little girl.
She saw the confused look in her eyes, brown eyes that were probably similar to her mother's.
"Hello baby," Scarlett said quietly and smiled at the girl.
The girl, holding the doll, looked at Scarlett trustingly,said, "You look like a princess in that dress," and reached up to put her arms around her neck. Scarlett smiled in surprise and hugged the girl back, raising her eyes to James. He only smiled slightly and nodded.
Scarlett looked at the girl and asked, "What's your name, little miss?"
"Elizabeth, I mean Lizzy," the girl replied softly.
Just then Scarlett beckoned to an embarrassed Ella and a calm Wade and they made their acquaintance.
"Let's go to the park for a walk, I heard there was a swing," James spoke up and Scarlett nodded and added, "Gladys is coming to join us there near the fountain in half an hour."
The children went ahead. Lizzy took Ella's hand and began to tell her something, and Wade walked a little way off.
Scarlett and her light-coloured crinoline dress attracted attention. Her waist seemed tiny because of the corset, and the lace parasol and lace gloves completed the look. Today Scarlett had her hair in a neat style, though usually it was almost loose and twisted from the sea air. She'd only gathered it at the sides, with hairpins.
"Is that wild girl from the beach really you, Scarlett? You are so elegant," James said her and smiled affectionately.
"Thank you, James. I think this is the first time I've ever hear compliment from you," she joked and added, "I dress appropriately for town, you understand. But I'm so happy we live in privacy," she concluded.
"How did you find that place, it's not popular?" he asked with interest.
"It wasn't me, it was my husband, James. To tell you the truth, everything Rhett does, he does at the highest level," here she sighed and reflected, remembering the letter.
"He cares for you very much Scarlett, since he does everything to the best level all the time... You're not an empty shell for him," James replied calmly.
"How do you know that, James?"
"I'm a man, Scarlett. I know what a man will do for the woman he cares."
"Don't say that, James. I'm hardly important to him..."
"My God, Scarlett, why do you trust his every word so blindly? Look at what he does!"
Scarlett was silent, they were just approaching the fountain and James suddenly said, looking at her intently.
"What's wrong, Scarlett?" he asked, noticing her excessive brooding and sad look.
"I got a letter from my husband," she replied briefly and they sat on the bench.
James nodded, then asked, "Was there anything in that letter that upset you?"
"Nothing in particular, he wants to bring our daughter to me and stay here too. He writes that we need to talk," here she was silent for a second and then continued, "I guess he'll want to discuss the divorce."
James looked at her intently and asked, "Have you discussed the possibility of a divorce with him or is this your assumption, Scarlett?"
"Discussed it, twice," she replied briefly.
"On his initiative?"
"The first time he suggested a divorce after the incident I told you about, when the whole town was talking about nothing but me. He wanted me to give him full custody of our daughter. I refused, he left with her for three months..."
James frowned.
"Then they came back, I was pregnant. Had a miscarriage. Then a month of recovery and before we left, the divorce was already proposed by me," Scarlett finished quietly.
"Why?"
"I can't live the way we did anymore. It's painful. For him too, I suppose," she replied.
"What did he say to you?"
"He cut the conversation short and said that divorce would hurt our children's reputations."
James nodded and said, "He doesn't want a divorce, Scarlett. If he wanted one, you would have already received offers from his lawyer."
"But we have nothing more to discuss with him, James. He doesn't love me, he doesn't want to live with me. Maybe he wants to propose to live apart?" snagged on Scarlett's thought and thought for a moment.
"Scarlett," said James, "I don't think you know your husband at all. But, it's not all your fault. He hasn't given you a chance to get to know him, I just don't understand the reason for that."
Scarlett shrugged again, the way she always did when she didn't know what to say. To her, it was simple, Rhett had wanted her body, married her, then for some reason the idea of a baby pleased him. Then she'd arranged a separate bedroom situation, he'd relented. She remembered that she bored him, he'd told her so then. "You're a bad investment, Scarlett." Then he'd gone back to his 'whore with a heart of gold'. Then the situation with Ashley, their strange night, his running away and him coming round again and calling her a 'whore' and their baby a 'bastard'. And then... She sighed, it all made sense, but she had no desire to retell it to James.
So she decided to change the subject and said, "Gladys will be here in a moment, we agreed on eleven in the morning. And James, look how Ella has made friends with Lizzy."
James smiled and said, "Lizzy lacks socialisation, she has a nanny with her most of the time. We have almost no friends in Chicago. Just colleagues at the newspaper."
Scarlett looked at him sadly, then at his daughter and said, "Maybe you should come back here, James? For Lizzy's sake?"
James was silent.
"Oh," said Scarlett suddenly, "there's Gladys! As punctual as always my cousin," she added with a grin, stood up and quickly made her way towards young lady.
James watched as Scarlett greeted a young woman in a blue dress, with blonde hair. They said hello and then Gladys said something and now they were both laughing as they headed towards him.
"James, I'd like you to meet my cousin Gladys," Scarlett said and James nodded politely and held out his hand in greeting.
"Nice to meet you," Gladys replied politely and added, "I'm glad Scarlett has a friend and isn't bored out there in that village of hers by the sea. I've asked her several times to stay with us, but she refuses."
James only smiled politely and said, "Scarlett and I are good conversationalists."
Gladys grinned and went to say hello to the children, but Scarlett's attention was drawn to the cart of flowers being sold near the fountain.
The wooden cart was full of bright flowers: yellow, red and orange, but only white flowers on the side of the cart caught her eye and the salesman was making a small bouquet from them for one of the ladies who stood there.
She was looking at white lilies intently, constantly swallowing back tears, and it didn't escape James' notice.
"Scarlett," he asked gently, "do you like these white flowers?"
She didn't answer for a long time, seeming to remember something, but then he heard, "I do... Used to like them once..."
And she stared thoughtfully ahead of her.
Scarlett didn't notice James quietly get up from the bench, then she shifted her gaze to Wade, who was trying to lift Ella up so she could see something behind the hedge of the park and Lizzy waited for her turn.
Scarlett barely smiled at the picture as she smelled that very same scent so close she squeezed her eyes shut for a second.
"You know, Scarlett," James began, holding out a small bouquet to her, "I don't know why these are so important to you, but you shouldn't be so upset. Here you go."
She smiled weakly at him and said, "James, thank you, but what will Gladys think? Look, She's coming to us," Scarlett said as she saw her cousin in the distance.
"I bought her some too, Scarlett," James replied with a wink and showed her another bouquet. "There are enough flowers for everyone, just smile," he replied to her in a calm tone.
Gladys approached them, talking about how she had met Lizzy, and then politely thanked James for the bouquet. They made polite conversation, but Scarlett didn't seem to hear them.
The fragrance brought her back to her world of memories and she just was running her fingers over the delicate white petals.
"Scarlett, Scarlett," she heard her cousin's voice and looked up at her.
"I'm sorry, I was distracted. What is it, Gladys?"
"I'm inviting you and James and the children to go to lunch at our place, we're expected there, Honey!"
Scarlett smiled, nodded her head and turned to James, "Is that alright with you? It'll be interesting for Lizzy too..."
James nodded and said with a smile, "Yes, I'd love to! Thanks for the invitation."
Rhett wandered around this huge house day after day. In his suit, hands in his pockets, he'd go out on the balcony, or, as long as the servants didn't see him, into her room. Looking at the things left behind by their mistress.
He had never felt so alone. He realized now how she had felt when he'd been away for nearly three months. He had tried to work, to play cards, to walk with his daughter, but none of it took his mind off her for a moment.
Most of all, he felt sorry for Bonnie, who missed her mother, brother, and sister. She spent a lot of time with Melanie, but she kept asking when they were going to see her mother. Rhett was hurting his favourite daughter himself and it was making all this situation even more unbearable.
"Why did I let them go? Why did I let her go? Why didn't I insist on travelling together?" he asked himself these questions every day.
One day, when three weeks had passed since their departure, Bonnie, sitting beside him at breakfast, suddenly cried, and to his agitated questions replied, sobbing, "Daddy, when are we going to Mummy's? When will you finish your business?"
He only stroked her hair and was silent. Then, Bonnie, pulling away, asked in a serious childish voice, "Daddy, why are we always alone? Why aren't we with Mummy and Wade and Ella? I want to go to them, Daddy..."
It was obvious from everything that they were both nervous, that drawings and letters did not save them from separation, that the daughter wanted to go to her mother, and he wanted to see the woman he loved and just touch her in a polite greeting. They had to talk. There was no more delay and Rhett, kissing Bonnie affectionately on the cheek, said, "Baby, I'll go to the station to get train tickets now and send a telegram to your mother. We'll leave tomorrow!" he finished decisively and Bonnie smiled through her tears. Her daddy could always make things right.