let's keep going
Chris: last time on total drama the players had a ball that quickly rolled into a pit that everyone had to escape Dave tried to kiss Sky a lot then he made out with a bat Shawn took a gem while BF is starting to hallucinate and team octopuses showed us how not to win a challenge in the disgustingly hilarious way ever Floyd had to leave to some injuries and I decided to switch BF and Sky but this is today and someone will blast away so hip hip hooray for total drama Pahkitew island
(intro)
*notebook writing*
Sky: *AWOKE*
Scarlett: your stage two sleep were low frequency followed by an intense delta or slow wave you slept well
Jasmine: Scarlett's alright a little weird but "harmless" fruit
Sky: thanks *sigh*
Jasmine: fruit makes you sad?
Sky: no I just I got used to having breakfast with Dave every morning we were just friends but I'm still gonna miss-
Jasmine: no no no you can't have feelings for the enemy I used to have a thing for Shawn but-
Sky: Shawn?
Jasmine: yes?
Sky:...ok
Jasmine: but I ended it the only person you can count on is you and me while we're on the same team but no one else deal
Sky:...you're right and don't worry I'm a team player you got a deal
*spies*
(confessional)
Shawn: that could have been a double date high five me and Jasmine Dave and Sky I mean who knows...*sighs* she totally hates me right now I gotta win her back
(ends)
BF: BOP BIP BIP BEP BEEP?
Ella: yep and things aren't looking go now
Dave: *sigh*
BF: BAP BOP?
Dave: hmm
Ella: it's because Sky and Dave are on different teams and *whispers* I accidentally kissed him
BF: BOP...BEP BIAP BEEP BIP BIAP BAP BOOP BIP BAP BEP
Ella: yep I believe you
(confessional)
Ella: at least I now have a new friend after what happened
(ends)
Dave: *sigh* AHHHH a little warning would be nice
Shawn: the zombies give no warning get your head on straight and they'll open it up like a yogurt container tree bark shares
Dave: nah I'll just uh starve
Shawn: don't be down Sky and Jasmine are on the same team it'll be 24/7 girl talk over there and they'll come back to us in no time
Dave: hey maybe you're right
Chris: ATTENTION my soon to be victims the challenge will be in one hour for now I got a surprise for one lucky camper there is now a hidden immunity totem it's look like my head and it's made of wood but the rules of it have changed you can use it only before the votes are read good luck
(confessional)
Amy: do I need it? maybe it makes less of a chance to being kicked out when you know you aren't being voted and not waste it
(other)
Dave: if Sky is in danger I will save her with it
(other)
BF: YEAH
(other)
Scarlett: it might be hard but it will come around eventually
(ends)
*montage*
*Amy looks in the lake*
*Sky looks in a cave*
*Scarlett asks*
*Shawn looks in the hole*
*Jasmine checks the trees*
*Ella asks animals*
*Topher is trying to get contact*
*BF is looking in the waterfall*
*ends*
Dave: *sigh* where can it be *trips*
*it there*
Dave: YES this is perfect!
Chris: attention times up time for fate awaits at the grand clearing last one there eats a rotten egg
Topher: last one there eats an rotten egg see sound more better with a more youthful inflection agree or strongly agree *CRASH*
(confessional)
Topher: been using old man Chris's cell phone to leave messages with the network going with a younger host i.e me still haven't heard back might e time to step it up
(ends)
Chris: and Topher arrives last so he gets to eat the rotten egg
Topher: aw man fr
Chris: yep eat up
*eventually*
*burps a fume*
Jasmine: *BLOWS*
Dave:*faints*
Amy: yikes
Sky: *GASP* Dave
Jasmine: don't he's the enemy and he'll turn on you the first chance he gets
Chris: listen up campers today's challenge is called hush or die the teams have to race through three separate and unique danger zones three zones have one thing in common though the noisier you are the greater the danger becomes area one is called the lion's lunch you gotta sneak through a field of sleeping lions wake on up and your lunch
Shawn: but they're sleeping so
Chris: oh and there are rattlesnakes too
Shawn: oh that's bad
Jasmine: um a rattlesnake's poison is kinda deadly
Chris: the venom in our snakes has been slightly deluded so you'll only feel like you're gonna die if you make it out of that zone alive maybe you'll die in area two the pasta blaster make a noise in zone two blindfolded Chef will blast you with pasta
Shawn: noodles can't kill anyone
Chris: true unless the burning hot noodles cause you to scream and wake up the carnivorous pasta bear forcing your team to untangle you before you're eaten alive
Shawn: well yeah that could kill someone
Amy: don't say another word
Chris: the last phase of the challenge is crossing the avalanche zone
Topher: you kind of creative steam coming up with the name for that one huh old age will do that to you
Chris: Chef give me a shot 10 o'clock 7s degrees high please
*POW*
Topher: NOT THE HAIR I mean these little games might be challenging for old people but not us you really need to start thinking younger Chris
Chris: hmmmmmmmmm Topher makes a good point
Amy: no he doesn't!
Chris: you're all so young and agile I should step it up so now everyone has to carry a special something through the entire challenge it'll make it way harder everyone say thanks Topher
Everyone: THANKS TOPHER
Chris: ok release the Babies
*GASPS*
*they drop*
(confessional)
Sky: this can't be legal
(other)
Amy: that's not right this is not rght eh eh this needs to be justice where's the justice
(ends)
BF: BEP BIP BOOP BEP BEP?
Chris: shhh they're sleeping you wake a lion up with a crying baby and it's not gonna be a party now gooo
*one*
*bone snap*
*lion sleeps*
Dave: *sigh*
Ella: quickly this way
*meanwhile*
Sky: *sigh*
Jasmine: YOINK here's the plan we maintain a lead them and wake up the danger we've already passed and then let them deal with the lions all in
Amy: uh sure
Scarlett: sounds good
Topher: uh huh whatever
Sky: mm well but Dave
Jasmine: they...are...the...enemy
Sky: mmm yeah
Jasmine: are you here to win or whine
(confessional)
Sky making it harder on the other team is a valid strategy I just feel bad putting Dave in danger on purpose
(ends)
Sky: I'm here to win
Jasmine: good *throws rock*
Rattlesnake: *CRUNCH*
Dave: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Jasmine: come on let's go...what the weren't we just standing behind a tree maybe I need glasses
Dave: MMMMMMMMMM
Sky: *pulls it off* Shhhh
(confessional)
Sky: okay that was just a parting gift from here onward Dave and I are enemies totally
(other)
Dave: we're gonna be together forever totally
(ends)
Amy: *step on snake*
rattlesnake: HISSS
baby: waaaaaaaa
Jasmine: *throws snake away*
Amy: shhh shhh *rocks in arms* sleep tight now I will take care of you
Jasmine: awww
Amy: shh let's go
Jasmine: okay team we're almost out
*RING RING*
Topher: YES A TEXT aww
(confessional)
Topher: I figured it was the network texting that I was replacing Chris as host but no it was his mom sending a cute picture of a cat sleeping in a shoe box
(ends)
Jasmine: this is not good
Topher: you got that right
Lion: RAHHHH
Topher: and I'll put this phone on vibrate
Sky: on three we run 1
Scarlett: no stay have this Amy *get's on Jasmine back* RAHHHHHHHH
Jasmine: good thinking
Both: RAHHHHHHHHHHHH
Lion: oh hell nah
jasmine: oh yeah that's what I'm talking about
Sky: woah what just happened
(confessional)
Scarlett: panthera leo are apex predators not unlike ursos arctos horribilis so their instinctive predator prey response is don't run from lions or bears show them you're the boss
(ends)
Jasmine: huh how did you beat us?
Shawn: sleeping cats and oversized poisonous worms with fangs are nothing compared to the zombie apocalypse I'm glad to see you made it not that I doubt it
Jasmine: save the flattery for someone who cares
Topher: OOOOOO and Shawn is left burned as team Lions moves on to area two
Chris: HEY I WAS GONNA SAY...ehem since all of team lions made it through the lions lunch they're ready for the pasta blaster
*lock and load*
Topher: hahaha level three
Jasmine: time to step up your game or I'm gonna step on your game
(confessional)
Topher: she's right time to show network execs what I've got *winks*
(ends)
Topher: check it five years of on camera buys classes...get ready for the Topher experience oh ahh
*HONK*
Chris: did I forget to tell you the field is full of booby traps my bad
*POW*
Tohper: ah
Chris: uh oh here comes pasta bear
Jasmine: quick Sky Amy untangle him Scarlett: jump on me and scare the bear
Both: RAHHHHHHHHH huh
Chris: did I forget to tell you the pasta bear is running on smell my bad
Scarlett: isn't that BLING bear wearing a-
Jasmine: HURRY
Dave: thanks for coming back for me
BF: YEAH
Ella: we made it
Shawn: hey come on we can still win this
Chris: team Octopuses are into zone two but do they have what it takes to catch up to the lions let's figure out their problems soon I'd say yes
Topher: DON'T LEAVE ME WE ALL HAVE TO CROISS THE FINISH LINE TO WIN REMEMBER
*SPRING*
Sky: perfect landing *catches four babies* uh a little help here please
Jasmine: oh no we're near the start again
Sky: come on we're losing now
Dave:...Sky hey Sky
Jasmine: stay away from him
Dave: don't step on that horn
*stops*
Amy: that was close
Jasmine: remember what we talked about earlier are you a team player or a team traitor
Amy: Dave is a team traitor by warning us about the horn so-
Jasmine: pick now
*picks and throws horn*
*HONK*
Chef: HE HE HE HA
*POW*
Dave: HUH SKY HOW COULD YOU
Amy: *whispers* it wasn't her fault Jasmine told her *eats*
(confessional)
Sky: *sigh* I feel horrible but Jasmine's right I'm here to win not to date Dave understand that
(other)
Dave: *CRIES*
(end)
BF: BEP BAP BEEP
Amy: nope not listening
Sky: do you
Amy: no he already has Girlfriend I understand that
BF: BEP BAP BOOP!
*meanwhile*
Dave: I lost Sky nothing matters anymore just leave me here
Shawn: no can do we all gotta finish or we lose the challenge
Pasta bear: RAHHHHHHHHHH
*THROWS IT AWAY*
*meanwhile*
Ella: come on we're almost there
BF: YEAH
Dave: catching up
BF: BIAP BOOP BEEP BOOP
Chris: team lions is going to cross the second finish line first
Jasmine: yeah go team
Topher: oh oh hold up for a second I have all four bars
Scarlett: IF YOU KEEP US FROM WINNING YOU'LL WISH YOU NEVER MET ME
(confessional)
Topher: um when did Scarlett get so scary?
(other)
Amy: huh maybe BF...no no...yes but I wasn't with him in the cave *sigh*
(ends)
Chris: congratulations team lions still in the lead just one more zone to go first I need you to hand in your babies
Amy: aww why
Chris: lawyers called Chef and said something about danger and babies and lawsuits blah blah blah
Topher: so you didn't have a backup plan to uh keep things interesting huh it's like you're losing your touch or something
Chris: slow your roll junior...Scarlett: why you'd
Scarlett: *whispers* he has your phone ok I have an idea to get it back
*later*
Jasmine: okay seriously why haven't I seen this part of the island before? it's like it just popped into existence
Chris: nope always been here maybe you aren't just observant as you think
Dave: please just let me quit
Shawn: I didn't carry you through 400 meters of bear infested booby trap terrain so you could bail you think Sky wants to date a quitter give your head a shake
*RUMBLE*
Chris: yeah maybe put some shush on get up and show her you're a champ
Dave: *gasp* you're right
Shawn: then get up dude
Dave: *struggles* can't the snake bites have numbed my everything
Shawn: aw man
BF: BOP BOP BEEP BOP BAP BAP BEP BOOP BIP
Dave: yes wait until Sky sees me now
Chris: and team octopuses is finally entering the avalanche zone but with the lead the lions has they'll be hard to catch
*RING RING*
Topher: it's the network you got the toph man
"producer": we've been watching you kid and we like what we see
Topher: well thank you for noticing
"producer": it's time to put Chris out to pasture you interested in taking over the show
Topher: *GASP* YESSSSSSSS
*RUMBLE*
Amy: YOU SON OF A B-
*CRUSHED*
Octopuses: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Chris: and it's octopuses for the win
Dave: that's right Sky I'm the man I'm big champ Dave
Chris: Lions I'll be seeing you at the campfire
(confessional)
Amy: well it was very hard but I did get to hold a baby and I hope I can have some of my own when I'm older
(ends)
*night*
Topher: hehehe
Scarlett: what are you so happy about you know you're going home right
Topher: we'll see who goes home
Chris: all the votes are counted and I'm ecstatic to announce that-
Topher: YOU'RE ELIMINATED CHRIS HA
Chris: who me whatever do you mean?
Topher: news flash Chris is going home and I'm taking over the show
*GASP*
Topher: I got the phone call from the producers during the challenge that's why I cheered and that's why I don't care that we lost because I AM NOW IN CHARGE HA YES
"producer": oh Topher sorry to say but there's been a change of plans
Chris: hahahaha
Topher: huh you no it it can't be
Chris: here's a lesson when it comes to showbiz never play a player ha ha
Chef: how did you know he was calling the producers
Chris: it's what I would have done
Chef: but why the sunglasses and mustache he couldn't even see you
Chris: dude it's called getting into character
Topher: *confused*
*later*
Chris: you got a lot to learn kid later
*BOOM*
Chris: good riddance it just goes to show you that with age comes the wisdom to recognize yourself and someone else and the courage to fire them out of a cannon tune in next time for more pain and less Topher right here on total drama Pahkitew island
*extra*
Scarlett: did you see the totem
Sammy: Dave has it
Scarlett: well then time to steal it
*ends*
welp see next time