Attention, there are 3 new chapters today. This is the first.

Nightmare.

Charles' mind was withdrawn, his wide eyes staring fixedly at Elsie, but unable to convey the image he had in front of him to his brain. He was trapped in his head.

The fact that Elsie was standing in his office so unexpectedly, that he would now be confronted with the love letter, made his body harden completely into concrete. His heart tried to press against the constricted walls of his chest with sparse beats, but in vain, it barely had room to do its work. It was as if a feather had to fell a tree. A cold sweat began to form on the back of his neck.

The time had come! Elsie's hand glitters in her skirt pocket. Now and here he would hear that Elsie no longer wanted him, that he had clearly hurt her. That she would be happy with someone else.

Why couldn't this stupid tie bow be loosened! Charles fiddled jerkily with his collar, but it wouldn't budge. His neck needed space. Now!

He could recognise the first corner of the letter. Then the second one came out. Her hand seemed to pull the letter out mercilessly slowly.

His right arm pulled painfully, his chest tightened even more.

Elsie and Mrs Patmore became more and more indistinct, they blurred into shadowy figures, their worried voices and shouts Charles only perceived dully, as if his head was under water.

_C&E_

Memories and things said swirled round and round in his mind. Rooms and people emerged from wafts of mist and shortly afterwards disappeared again in smoke.

Mrs. Patmore, Anna and Elsie formed.
All three are standing around Lady Grantham's coat. They are happy and laughing. They look up at him. Their laughter dies when they notice him.

Change of scene. Mrs. Patmore and him.
A passage from a song can be heard in the background, repeated over and over again: „She stole my heart away! She stole my heart away! She stole my heart away!"

"Well? Is it or isn't it?"

"It's not cancer, no. It's a benign something or other, nothing more."

"Don't mention that you've said anything. She doesn't know that I know."

„She stole my heart AWAAYYYYY!"

Change of scene. Elsie and him.
Elsie in the cottage. In the living room. In front of the fireplace. So beautifully colourful and inviting. She proudly looks at a ring on her finger. He starts shouting at her. She looks up at him and runs out of the room.

Change of scene. Mrs. Patmore, Elsie and him.
Soup flows from the walls like a waterfall, they are already knee-deep in the liquid. He shouts terribly at Elsie until she flees the room, Mrs. Patmore raises her index finger towards the desk.

Change of scene. Elsie and him.
He runs through dark corridors. It rattles in front of him, behind him, beside him. Disorientated, he looks for her. He calls her. It rattles above him, it rattles below him. The rattling echoes from everywhere. Doors appear, he pushes each one open with a bang. He calls her again. She is gone. Untraceable.

Change of scene. He and Elsie.
It rattles. She turns the corner laughing, walks towards him, doesn't notice him, walks through him as if he wasn't a real part of her world.

Change of scene. Lady Grantham and him.
They are standing in front of the Abbey, her ladyship would like to get into the automobile to his lordship.
He says that Mrs. Hughes is very tired, even seriously ill, and therefore needs rest. Lady Grantham looks at him condemningly from under the brim of her hat. "You broke her heart. Of course she needs rest. From you!"

Change of scene. Elsie and men.
Smoky, dark pub. Elsie dances surrounded by men. They holler, clap and cheer her. Loud music. Toast her with beer mugs to cheer her on.

Change of scene. He and she.
She is standing in the middle of her servants room. Reads a letter, she looks up. She asks him: „What have you done to us? Charles? What have you done to us? CHARLES? CHARRRRLES!"

_C&E_

He woke up in bed in his attic room, with a bedside lamp burning on his nightstand. His throat was dry, he looked around to see if he could find a glass of water next to him. But first he had to blink a few times to get the blurriness out of his eyes.

Before he could visually see the bedside table, he noticed a figure beginning to form in front of him, it seemed to grow larger and come towards him, in the far distance he heard a faint rattle.

He wanted to say something, to make a sound, but he couldn't bring his tongue to move. Exhausted, he let his eyelids fall again, his mind resting in the darkness.

He felt a hand slip between the back of his head and the pillow to lift his head very gently and easily. A fine and familiar scent of myrrh and tonka was noticeable in his nose. He felt a hard object split his lips in half before a cool liquid ran into his mouth.

Grateful for the water and the caring hands, he waited until his head hit the pillow again. He was amazed at how tiring and heavy everything felt, even though he didn't seem to move.

Before he opened his eyes, he squeezed them tightly shut again, hoping that when they opened they would give him a clear picture.

Elsie was leaning over him, holding a glass of water in her hand. She tried to give him a reassuring smile.

"What...?" Charles choked out the word in a croaking, throaty voice, but he couldn't get any further, it was too difficult to move his tongue.

"Shh, Charles." Elsie said, wrapping her palm lovingly around his forearm and squeezing it "Don't speak. You need rest. You had a heart attack last night."

Elsie noticed that Charles became uneasy at the explanation and tried to sit up but was unable to do so. She squeezed his forearm harder, wanting to calm him down, wanting him to feel her and notice her. The pressure actually made Charles calm down, he looked at her. He was completely out of breath from his movements.

"Charles. Stay lying down. As soon as you've gained some strength, I'll tell you everything in detail, but for now: Stay lying down. Please, Charlie. Just stay down. Everything's fine so far. Dr. Clarkson said you'd be fine. You'll feel better in a few days, you'll feel lighter. But right now you really need some rest." Elsie's voice threatened to fail. Experiencing Charles like that, having such fears for him, demanded everything from her.

With tear-filled eyes, she added: "When we were waiting with Lord and Lady for Dr. Clarkson to finish treating you, Mrs. Patmore informed me privately of your fears. My silly man, you!"

Elsie knew Charles's inner battle would not stop raging until she told him the following facts and continued: "But of course I didn't meet anyone else at the pub, you fool, you. I love you. I have for so many years."

Charles' forearm struggled out of Elsie's hand, only to squeeze hers tightly with his own. Relieved, tears streamed from his eyes and he sobbed hoarsely, struggling for breath.

"And now promise me that you'll close your eyes and rest. I'll look in on you again later."

Elsie placed a small kiss on Charles' lips, brushed a lost curl from his forehead and held his damp cheek in her protective hand for a short time. Exhausted as he was, the loving touch caused him to fall asleep again after just a few moments. Unsure whether he was ever awake.

She decided to tell Charles about her "love letter" and her stay in Lytham St. Anne this evening, but kept this to herself because she didn't want him to have problems with his blood pressure again in the meantime.

It was still very early in the morning when Elsie left Charles' room. The first servants were woken by Daisy and the sun was gradually trying to displace the night.

She didn't often drink coffee, but today she needed a lot of caffeine in her veins, she thought to herself, rolling her eyes as she made her way down to the kitchen.

"Good morning, Mrs. Hughes! How is our patient?" Mrs. Patmore asked worriedly as she carried some ingredients from the fridge to the huge table in the centre of the kitchen.

"He's just woken up briefly. As Dr. Clarkson said, he was very dazed, tired and exhausted. He's asleep again now." Elsie hid a yawn behind her palm and then pressed her index finger and thumb against the bridge of her nose, letting out a relieving sigh.

"What a turbulent week.", said Mrs. Hughes, shaking her head. "I don't know if I can handle more days like this, Mrs. Patmore, after all, I'm not 20 anymore. Would you have a strong cup of coffee for me?"

The cook nodded her head in the affirmative. "Of course, comes straight away. What's going to happen now?" Mrs. Patmore asked curiously as she began to prepare the coffee.

Before Mrs Hughes could answer, Daisy entered the room with another kitchen maid, who immediately began to light a fire in the oven.

"Good morning, Mrs. Hughes. How did you manage to sleep in your bed today? I think it's best to sleep in your own bed." Daisy interrupted the conversation between the cook and the housemaid with shining eyes as she went to the ingredients at the table. She was still relieved that Mrs. Hughes had come back. The young lady was sure that there would be a wedding soon and grinned with joy at the thought of the two lovers. However, as soon as Daisy noticed how Mrs. Hughes and Mrs. Patmore looked at each other when she asked her question, her euphoria faded.

"What's wrong with you?" Daisy asked uncertainly as she looked at the petrified faces in turn.

"Well, Daisy, I'm afraid I didn't sleep as well as I'd planned." Mrs Hughes brought Daisy up to date briefly and then returned to Mrs Patmore's open question.

Stunned, Daisy turned her attention to the ingredients at the table and began to prepare breakfast for the Granthams while she listened anxiously to the conversation between the two ladies.

"Dr. Clarkson has booked in again for this afternoon. Until then, Mr. Carson should stay in his bed and eat something light, if he feels like eating at all."

Little by little the hustle and bustle of the morning hours grew. The servants fortified themselves with breakfast and then went diligently to work.

So did Miss Baxter, who appeared in the kitchen, satiated, to ask if Lady Grantham's breakfast tray was ready yet.

When she was surprised to find Mrs. Hughes here, she couldn't help asking and approached the housekepper: "Is it true what they say, Mrs. Hughes? Has Mr. Carson had a heart attack?"

Mrs. Hughes confirmed the rumour and also announced that Mr. Carson would now need some time before he could return to work.

As soon as Mrs. Hughes had finished her coffee, she sought out Thomas to tell him about Mr. Carson as well. Lord and Lady had spoken to Mrs. Hughes yesterday, after Dr. Clarkson had left the house and Carson was in his bed, about the time ahead. Thomas would have to take over Mr. Carson's duties with her for the next few weeks.

Miss Baxter was then accompanied by Mrs. Hughes to her Ladyship's room.

_C&E_

"Good morning, my lady, please forgive my uninvited entry at such an early hour!" Mrs. Hughes humbly greeted Lady Grantham as she entered her room with Miss Baxter. The chambermaid placed the full breakfast tray over her ladyship's legs.

"Good morning, my lady." Miss Baxter also wished and stood next to Lady Grantham so that she could receive any requests.

"Go ahead, Mrs. Hughes, come in. Thank you, Baxter, breakfast looks complete. I'll ring the bell when I'm ready to change."

"Of course, my lady.", replied Miss Baxter, bidding farewell to both Lady Grantham and Mrs. Hughes in a gentle voice and polite smile.

"My lady, I would like to ask permission to visit Mr. Carson in his bedroom in the next few weeks. Of course it would be seen less as a visit and more for reasons of care and attention.", the housekeeper explained.

"Of course, Mrs. Hughes! You should already be married and living in your cottage together. I don't see any problem with you looking after Mr. Carson ... even if he's in the men's wing."

"What do you mean, my lady? Which cottage?" Mrs. Hughes seemed so confused that she didn't know what question to ask.

"The cottage where you both should have been living happily for a few days now. Didn't Carson tell you about it?" Cora looked at Mrs. Hughes in surprise.

Mrs. Hughes met Lady Grantham's gaze without moving, which to Cora was a sign of ignorance. She continued, "The cottage that Mr. Molesley took you to. Lord Grantham and I have decided that the two of you cannot stay here once you are married and have offered to Carson that the two of you could move into one of our cottages. Like Anna and Mr. Bates."

"My lady... this is the first time I've heard of it.", Elsie stuttered, perplexed. "How long had he known?"

"Oh, he's known that for a long time. He visited the cottage with Lord Grantham a few weeks ago. I think I noticed that Carson even wanted to see the building plans." Cora took the glass of orange juice and took a sip from it without taking her eyes off Mrs. Hughes.

Elsie now understood why Charles knew his way around the cottage so well. He knew they should have lived in this cottage. For Charles, this must have been a punch in the stomach and a stab in the heart at the same time. Elsie's thoughts drifted into the distance. She swallowed hard as she thought of the pitiful image that Charles had presented her in the doorway with her suitcase in his hand as she stood in the bedroom.

"I fully assumed you knew that Mrs. Hughes. After all, it was Carson's suggestion that you retire to this cottage for a while." Lady Grantham continued as she began to spread butter on a slice of toast.

"But Miss Baxter, she meant..." Elsie said abashed.

"After Carson was with me, I informed Baxter of the idea as if it had been my own. It was after dinner when she helped me change. However, Carson was of the opinion at the time that you would not accept the offer, if you knew it was secretly his wish. That's why Carson and I kept it to ourselves."

Mrs. Hughes nodded, thanking her ladyship both for her time and for her insightful words, and left the room after making sure that Lady Grantham had no further wishes.

Attention, there are 3 new chapters today. This was the first.