John Phoenix was trying to log into his fanfiction dot net account.

"Stop! Before you continue, you must verify you are human!" said the site.

"What else could I be, a monkey?" said John Phoenix.

"If you are a human you should be able to solve this puzzle!"

The site produced a large image to a traffic light and it said "click all of the squares containing traffic lights."

"Okay then," said John Phoenix and he started clicking, but there were some squares that contained only a small part of the traffic light so he wasn't certain if they should be clicked or not.

Ultimately, he decided only the parts with the actual lights mattered, so he clicked those.

"Bzzt, wrong. Stupid!" said the captcha, and that's when John Phoenix noticed there was a sliver of the light in one of the squares he did not click.

"This is bullshit! OBJECTION!"

John Phoenix took captcha to court.

"Plaintiff, state your case," said Judge Phoenix.

"Okay," said John Phoenix. "Captcha is bad and useless."

"Not," said Captcha.

===WITNESS TESTIMONY===

"We are good for preventing bots from taking over people's accounts."

"Objection no you aren't!" said John Phoenix.

To prove it, John Phoenix went into his lab where he makes impressive bots like dkpv JOHN PHOENIX trninu8. Today, he made a bot that could solve captchas by using (ethical) AI to identify each image and select each relevant part. It struggled sometimes because of captcha's stupid standards for what counted as a correct answer, but since it was a bot it could just try again and again until it succeeded.

"Captcha useless," said John Phoenix.

"NO!" shouted Captcha, and then it accidentally pressed a button that made an image appear.

"Click all of the boxes containing the CEO of Captcha!" said the puzzle and the image was a picture of Dylan Fitchar!

Dylan Fitchar ran away!

"Ah I'm so glad Captcha has been stopped," said John Phoenix and he logged into fanfiction dot net without any further obstructions. But then...

"Cloudflair needs to identify you are human. Please wait..."

"GO FUCK YOURSELFFFFFFFFFFF!"

The End!