Victoria had sat in court and listened to the opening arguments intently. She had to admit that a part of her was apprehensive about how it was going to go, but Jeremy seemed to have the jury on side. Victoria looked between him and the twelve men and women in the jury box. She could see one woman sat on the edge of her seat, hanging onto every word that he was saying. Another man was nodding along demurely, but Victoria noticed it. A young woman with bleach blonde hair had her legs crossed and her lips pursed, head cocked to the side and a look of disbelief on her face. She was not impressed and Victoria knew they couldn't count on her to acquit Homelander.
A part of Victoria wasn't entirely sure what she wanted. On the one hand, if he was acquitted, then he would be above the law. He would be free and she worried about what that would mean. But then, the thought of him being found guilty was even scarier. She worried that he would burn the entire courthouse down. She knew that he would be even more unhinged than he was.
Finally, the judge suggested that they finish for the day before they called any witnesses. Everyone stood up, the hustle and bustle of the courtroom clear as the jury were led from the box. Victoria remained seated as the people on either side of her moved to their feet and walked from the row. Homelander stood up and turned to look to her, arching his brow and cocking his head, silently asking her if she was alright. She nodded her head and then mouthed 'you?' to him and he just shrugged, seemingly ambivalent to everything that was going on.
He moved by his lawyers who told him that they would see him at the same time tomorrow. Walking down the aisle, he waited at the end of the row Victoria was sat on and he held his hand out. Standing up, she took hold of his hand, her fingers slipping into his. She spotted Daniella on the other side of the aisle and her friend looked at her with a pleading glance which Victoria couldn't even return. She just kept hold of Homelander's hand and let him lead her from the courthouse.
The jeering from the crowds continued and Homelander once again slipped his arm around her waist, holding her close against him. She found her own arm moving around him too as the police and private security kept the crowds behind the barricades. Victoria kept her head bowed, hair covering her face as cameras flashed and blinded her. Reaching the car door, Homelander pulled it open and ushered her inside, hand on her back. She slid along the backseat and Homelander sat down next to her, arm moving over the back of the seat and fingers brushing along her shoulder gently.
"That was tedious," he complained.
"I think you have the majority of the jury on side," Victoria informed him, tucking her hair behind her ears and turning to face him. She kept telling herself that this was for the best. She kept persuading herself that she was acting in her best interests by being on his side. But it wasn't just her best interests. She had Evelyn to think about. She had Ryan to think about.
"How do you know?" Homelander wondered. "Not that I was paying much attention to them."
"When I was in law school we learned how to read a jury or the telltale signs of what they're thinking…which way they're leaning. You had most people on side, but there were a few who I think weren't buying what you were saying, well, what your lawyer was saying. I think my advice…if you want it, that is?" she trailed off, well aware that there had been a time when he did want her advice.
"Always," Homelander said, the hand on her shoulder picking up a strand of her hair and twirling it around his finger.
She shifted slightly, angling her body towards him. He looked past her and out of the window for a moment, the New York City buildings passing them by. Moving his light blue eyes to look back at her dark blue ones, he waited for her to speak.
"I think that you need to sound slightly more apologetic," Victoria said and she saw him huff out a deep breath. Reaching for his arm, she gripped his forearm tightly and shook her head. "Hear me out," she urged from him as he let go of her hair and dropped his hand back to her shoulder. "You don't need to apologise for what you did, but maybe you need to apologise that you had to do it. You wish that things had been different and the man had gotten the help he needed…that you hadn't needed to protect Ryan…that things hadn't gone that far. Don't apologise for protecting your son, but apologise because you were forced to. I think that might work. I think it might sway some of those who are unconvinced."
"Do I need to sway them?"
"Perhaps not because I think the majority are with you," Victoria replied. "But I think it wouldn't hurt to try and get more people on side."
"I see."
"Either way, I think you'll be fine," Victoria said, leaning against the backseat of the car and stifling a yawn into her fist. Homelander's brows knitted together and he observed his wife, seeing the bags underneath her eyes.
"You didn't get much sleep last night again, did you?" Homelander wondered from her.
Shaking her head, she closed her mouth and stopped herself from yawning again. "There's a lot going on. Makes it hard to sleep," she relented. "Plus, you were tossing and turning a lot again last night. I didn't know whether to wake you or not."
"Probably best not to," he said. "I'm not exactly in control of my actions when I first wake. I don't want to hurt you."
Victoria looked down to her lap for a moment and let her eyes dart around on the material of her skirt. Her jaw tensed and she opened her mouth for a moment, but then closed it again. She wasn't entirely sure what she wanted to say to him. She couldn't stand him. Of course, she couldn't stand him. But then she thought about how she had watched him the previous night and she had seen vulnerability there. She had seen the world's greatest superhero tossing and turning from a nightmare. Victoria wasn't entirely certain what he was dreaming about, but she guessed it wasn't anything pleasant.
"I know what it's like, John," she whispered to him. "I know what it's like to have nightmares that make you wake up in a cold sweat. You've been there to witness enough of them."
And that had been true. He remembered the first time he'd woken to Victoria muttering in her sleep, begging to be left alone and how she wouldn't tell anyone what had happened. He remembered watching her through sleep hazy eyes and considering just what he should do. Eventually, she'd woken up and he'd held her until she calmed down, feeling her sob against him.
"And I get that you don't talk about your nightmares but I can make an educated guess as to what they're about," Victoria replied. "And I know we don't delve into details of what we went through as kids…and I…I get it. We don't want to relive it."
"I never want to relive it, Victoria," Homelander whispered to her.
And then he looked at her and he realised that if anyone would understand then it would be her. She knew what it was like to suffer. She understood more than anyone he had ever known before.
"Stop the car," Homelander demanded the driver.
Victoria didn't have a chance to question what he was doing. He slipped out of the car and onto the sidewalk, gasps echoing around him as he stood there and people stopped walking. He held his hand out for Victoria and she slipped to the end of the bench seat, furrowing her brow at him.
"What are you doing?" he asked from her.
"Come with me," he urged from her, giving away no details.
And so she felt she had no other option but to slip from the car. Standing up, she tugged her skirt down her thighs and took his hand. He picked her up easily as people continued filming them and clamouring around them. But Homelander wasn't focusing on them. He was more concerned about his wife. She slipped an arm around his neck as he kept an arm under her legs and around her waist. She closed her eyes as she knew what came next.
The air around her swarmed and her other arm moved to grab hold of her hand so that she was clinging tightly to him around his neck. He flew quickly over the New York skyline and Victoria kept her eyes tightly closed. No matter how many times they'd done this, she still hated it and it freaked her out. They seemed to be flying for much longer than she was used to.
"Where are we going, John?" Victoria questioned, still not daring to open her eyes.
"You're alright, Vic," he promised her.
Eventually, he began to lower them to the ground and Victoria only opened her eyes when she was certain they were on the ground. She did it tentatively, peeling one eye open and then the other eye. She could only see Homelander's blue suit for a moment, but then she glanced to the side and she heard it. She heard the crashing of the waves and the smell in the air was so different to the city. It was salty and fresh.
"It's not golden sands or clear seas," Homelander said to her.
"Where are we?" she wondered from him.
"Coney Island Beach," Homelander said. "Well, at one end of it. I figured it would be best not to be anywhere near the crowds, but it's pretty chilly anyway. You're not cold, are you?"
"I'm fine," Victoria said and he gently set her down onto the sand. She struggled to remain stood on her feet considering her heels were sinking into the sand. She bent down and tugged them from her feet, holding them on the tips of her fingers. "Why did you bring us here?"
"You know when you told me about what Eddie did to you?" Homelander asked her and she moved towards the shore, wincing at the sound of his name. He followed her, hands behind his back.
"Yeah," Victoria said to him.
She stood by the shore, watching the ocean lapping up against the sand. Crouching down, she let her fingers dip into the cold water as it came crashing up and then pulled back. Homelander looked down at her, seeing her hair flapping around her head and into her face. She inhaled the sea air and enjoyed the feeling of the water on her fingertips, not at all bothered by how cold it was.
"That night when I went to torture him…I read the case file. I read everything that had happened to you. Vought managed to get the files in record time and I…I never wanted you to have to relive what he did to you because I saw how much it hurt you. I saw the amount of pain he inflicted upon you," Homelander confessed and Victoria stood up, arms going over her chest and he could tell she was annoyed by the way her cheeks were tinting into a red colour.
"You read the case file?" she double-checked. "Why would you do that?"
"Because I wanted to know what he had done to you," Homelander said to her. "And as I read it all I could feel was anger. I felt this white-hot rage that I'd never felt before at the idea that someone could've done that to you. The things he did, Victoria…what he did to you…what he said to you…it made me sick. I'd never known anger like it. And I went to him because I wanted him to pay for what he'd done to you."
Victoria gulped down a lump forming in her throat. Closing her eyes for a moment, it was like she could feel Eddie's weight on top of her again; the smell of his rancid breath on her face; the feeling of his hands running along her body. She gasped a deep breath down and Homelander saw her drop her shoes to the ground and she gripped hold of her hips, bending slightly at the waist.
"The idea of anyone hurting you made me sick, Victoria," Homelander said. "But I wanted to know what had happened. I wanted to know everything because I wanted to know you."
"I told you the basics of what happened, John," Victoria said. "I just couldn't give you the detail because I never wanted to talk about it again. I only told it once to the courts and that had been enough."
"I know and that is why I never wanted you to relive it, but I wanted to know everything about you, Victoria…and you…there are things that happened in my childhood that I never told you either," Homelander confessed. "And those are the things that I'm having nightmares about."
Victoria exhaled a deep breath, trying not to think about her past. A part of her felt a sense of betrayal that Homelander had gone behind her back and looked at her files. He'd read things that no one was supposed to read. He knew things she didn't want him to know.
"You know I told you about the padded cell," Homelander said to her, peering out over the horizon in front of him and watching the waves rise and fall. "And how they would send teachers…women…who I'd then think cared for me, but they didn't."
"I know," Victoria said, recalling everything that he'd told her.
He had been raised as a lab rat and knowing that broke Victoria's heart. She remembered the first time he'd told her that and she'd cried for him. She'd held him to her and she'd been the one who cried as he just remained silent, unable to cry over his past.
"There was more," Homelander said. "They needed to test my powers and to do that…they used a range of very different methods. I was still a kid and they would do things to me that didn't kill me, but they hurt. I still felt pain and none of them understood it. None of them cared. Not one of them stopped it."
"They tortured you?" Victoria dared to whisper the question and she continued to observe the side of his face as he remained looking forwards to the sea. Victoria tried to push her hair behind her ears to stop her hair from falling in her face, but the wind had other ideas.
He nodded his head once.
Closing her eyes, Victoria looked down sadly to the sand. She had no idea what she should say to him. She'd had her suspicions, of course, but she didn't want to believe them. She didn't want to believe anyone could be so cruel to a child. She wondered how different things might have been if he had been raised in a home with a family who loved him.
"There would burn me to test how much I could handle," Homelander whispered and Victoria's eyes widened at that, her mouth gaping. "It was this furnace and they'd put me in there and just turn the heat up…over and over again…seeing how much I could take. It would get so hot, but nothing would happen to my skin. It wouldn't char…it wouldn't even blister…no matter how hot it got. And they kept turning it up, Vic. They didn't stop. But it hurt. The pain…I can still remember the pain. A part of me longed for my skin to burn. I would pinch at it and beg for something to happen because then it might stop. They might turn it off and let me out. But they didn't. They just stood around and watched as I screamed. They didn't do anything to stop it."
Victoria's chest ached at hearing him. She imagined him as a kid and she could almost hear his screams. Shaking her head slowly, she could feel tears begin to pool in her eyes. Her husband was a monster and she knew that, but he'd been made this way. Vought had done this to him and things could've been so different.
"Jesus Christ, John," was all she could say to him.
"And no one cared, Vic. I was a kid. I was younger than Ryan when they did that to me," he said, his own eyes growing increasingly wet with tears as he swore he felt the heat of the flames for a brief moment on his skin. "And it wasn't just the torture…being poked…prodded…seeing how much pain I could endure…they humiliated me in so many ways, Victoria."
"John, I'm so sorry," she said to him. And she was sorry. She was sorry that he'd had to go through any of that as a kid and it broke her to think about it. She saw him take a step closer to the ocean, the tide washing up over the tip of his leather boot.
"I was a teenager and they…one night…I had privacy for about ten minutes and that was the only time I felt good…felt anything remotely pleasurable…but they found out and caught me with my pants around my ankles and they laughed. They laughed at me and I just remember being so humiliated at the time. I cried myself to sleep after they'd left, but I could still hear the laughing. I could still hear the chuckles and I just sobbed. I was a kid, Vicky...just a kid who didn't understand my own body, not really."
Tears dripped down Victoria's cheeks as she took in what he was saying to her. She moved to step closer to him, the water hitting her feet and splashing up her thighs and onto the skirt of her dress, wetting the green material and leaving damp patches.
"I've never told anyone any of that," Homelander confessed to her. "I've kept it bottled up inside of me for so long and I had no idea how to tell you any of it before…how to even say it to you…just like you never knew how to tell me what Eddie had done to you."
"Why now?" Victoria wondered from him.
"Because that's what is giving me nightmares. I keep thinking about the past and what happened and you're the only one who I can tell. And I think about going back there…there are times when I see their faces…the people who hurt me…and I want them to feel the pain I felt. I want them to understand what they did to me."
"I can understand that," Victoria promised him. "When…when you told me what you did to Eddie…a part of me was jealous. I was jealous that I couldn't have been the one to hurt him. There were nights when I'd lay awake and think about what I would do."
"And I hurt him for you, Vicky. I got revenge for you."
"And I don't pretend to be perfect. I know that I should say that we should rise above these things and we should be the bigger person, but I can't. When those men threatened our daughter, I knew that it was wrong to want them dead, but I did. I wanted them dead just like I wanted Eddie dead…and those people who hurt you…I know why you would want to hurt them. I understand it."
"Is there a but coming?" Homelander questioned from her.
"No," she said. And, for the first time in a while, there wasn't anything else she wanted to add to him.
"I told Madelyn once," he confessed. "I said to her that I wanted them hurt for what they'd done to me. I was fresh out of the facility. She persuaded me that it wouldn't make me feel better and that I just needed to be who I was destined to be."
"Did she know about everything they did?"
"I'm not sure, but she knew they did tests on me," Homelander said. "How could she possibly understand what it was like?"
There was silence between them then and Victoria looked down to the water around her ankles. Homelander wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.
"I don't know why the nightmares have come back now," Homelander confessed to her. "But maybe they mean something. I don't know. All I know is that they're there and now you know. You know everything, Victoria. You know what they did to me."
"I hate them for what they did to you," Victoria said to him. "You were a kid and you didn't deserve that."
"I know," Homelander said to her. And he did know that. "And that is why I will always protect Ryan and Evelyn. I will never let them go through anything like that and the way this country is going…villainising supes…I worry what might happen."
"That would never happen to them," Victoria said.
"I know because I am going to make sure it never does," Homelander replied to her. "And I've convinced myself that I don't need love. I don't need it…because it makes me weak and needy…but I do need you, Victoria. I need you and I can't explain why because it makes me feel pathetic. After everything we went through, I convinced myself that I didn't need to love you and that I didn't need you to love me…but it's not true and I admit that it's not true. It's like you've infiltrated every pore in my body."
Victoria turned to meet his eye and she saw the hurt there. He was suffering and she could see it. She understood it and she knew that she was the only one who could make it go away. She hated that he needed her. She hated that he loved her. But she had vowed to give him what he wanted for her own sake. And so, she stood on her tiptoes and reached for him. He bowed his head and rested it on her shoulder, arms wrapping tightly around her waist. Victoria stroked his hair gently on the top of his head, back arching slightly as he towered over her and kept his front pressed to hers.
"I'm sorry," Victoria could only say to him. "I'm so sorry."
"That's what they'd say, isn't it? If I went back now. They'd say that they were sorry and they'd expect forgiveness. Eddie did the same, Victoria. He cried and said how sorry he was…how he thought that you wanted it…begged me for forgiveness. I didn't give it to him. Because sorry…what does it mean from people like that?"
"Honestly?" Victoria wondered, her cheek resting on top of his head as she kept stroking his hair. "Sometimes it means nothing and it's not enough."
Homelander's grip around her waist increased and she closed her eyes. Homelander sniffed and inhaled his wife's familiar perfume: rose. She had always smelt of rose perfume when they'd first started dating. He'd gotten so used to it that a part of him found it comforting. He lifted his head up and pressed his forehead against hers.
"You're cold," he commented. She had goosebumps forming on her arms. He noticed then that the water had come up to her calves and her shoes were back on the shore.
"I'm fine," she assured him. He stood up straight then and used his thumbs to wipe away the tears that had fallen down her cheeks before lifting her from the ocean like she weighed nothing. He held her in his arms, cradling her against him as she slipped an arm back around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder. He bent down and kissed her forehead tenderly.
"I love you," he said earnestly.
Closing her eyes, the familiar knot in Victoria's stomach returned. She pressed her face tighter against his shoulder and closed her eyes again. "I love you too," she said to him.
They remained stood in the shallows of the water, staring out over the ocean before them.
…
Walking into the Starlight House after the first day of the trial, Daniella was led up to the meeting room by one of the employees after being told that they were all waiting for her there. She trudged up the steps, picking up the material of her trousers so that she didn't get the hem caught in her shoe and trip. She moved into the meeting room and saw Annie sat there with Alex by her side and Butcher also stood in the corner of the room, arms folded.
"I tried to talk to her, but I couldn't get her alone," Daniella declared. "She came in with him and left with him."
"How did she seem?" Annie asked as Daniella sank down into a chair across from her. She placed her bag on the empty chair next to her and crossed her legs together as Butcher remained silent behind them, arms folded and gaze looking out of the window. The TV in the corner on the wall was playing the news on mute, the sight of Homelander and Victoria leaving the courthouse together replaying in the top corner as Cameron Coleman protested Homelander's innocence.
"She wasn't herself," Daniella said confidently. "She wasn't going to say anything to me in front of him, but I knew that she wanted out. I could see it in her eyes. He didn't let her out of his sight."
"And the case?" Alex questioned.
Daniella sighed then, her fingers combing through her hair. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and she tugged it out, declining the call from her office and turning her phone onto silence. Setting the phone face down on the table, she leant forwards, hands lacing together on the oak surface.
"You want the truth?" Daniella asked. "He's going to get away with it. He's easily going to get away with it. The jury is on his side. They've manipulated facts to get a strong case. Plus, there's the fact that a jury is too scared to convict him. Let's be honest, he'd laser their heads clean off. He's deranged."
"So if the case fails then what?" Annie wondered, leaning back in her chair and folding her arms over her chest, shrugging. "It means that Vought and Homelander really are above the law. Have you seen it out there? How do we fight them if not in the court? Violence isn't the answer."
"Violence is probably coming sooner than we think," Alex tacked on. "Tensions are rising out there."
"Maybe what the people need is Starlight," Daniella suggested.
"No," Annie said with a shake of her head. "I'm not her anymore. The people can have Annie January. That's who I am."
"A name doesn't define you," Alex said to her. "You still have your powers and you can use them for good. Vought doesn't control you now. People look up to you."
"If a name doesn't define me then it shouldn't matter if I stay as Annie January," she replied. "Anyway, we're getting off point here. The fact is that if Homelander isn't going to be found guilty then what does that mean? We're nowhere closer to getting Victoria, Ryan and Evelyn away from him. There's nothing we can do and violence isn't the answer. We can't beat Homelander."
"How the hell is she staying sane?" Daniella wondered.
"Because a part of her loves the cunt," Billy answered and he finally joined the conversation.
Alex's jaw tensed and he shook his head. "That's not true," he retorted.
"She might not be in love with him," Billy said, "but a part of her will always have feelings for him. You don't get it. None of you understand Victoria. Fuck, even I'm not sure I entirely understand her, but it's all my fault and I know that."
"How can she have feelings for him? After everything he's done?" Daniella questioned and Butcher sauntered towards the head of the table, planting his hands down on the table and leaning over it, trying to ignore the throbbing in his head.
"Victoria grew up knowing nothing but pain," Butcher said. "And I know I should've gotten her out of that house. I know I should've taken her away because she was a little girl. Her childhood consisted of watching my dad beat me, then Lenny and then finally her when she was the only one left. She would hide in the cupboard out of fear of him. If she cried, he hit her. If she tried to stop him from hurting Lenny then he'd hit her. None of you know what that's like. None of you know what it did to her…never mind Eddie."
There was silence then. They all knew what Eddie had done to her. She'd trusted each of them enough to tell them.
"She grew up thinking no one loved her," Butcher said. "And I blame myself for that because I left her there…through uni…until she got here…she didn't really have friends. She never got close to anyone…and then there was him. She fell in love with the fucking mirage of him. She trusted him. She loved him. He's done a fucking number on her and she can't get rid of those feelings, not entirely. She knows what he is and what he's done. She despises him for it and yeah, given the chance, she'd get away from him…but that's not happening anytime soon. The only way she'll leave him is if he dies. In the meantime, it gives him even more of a chance to sink his claws even deeper into her."
Sitting down in the chair at the head of the table, Butcher took hold of the arms of it and he leant back, tilting his head back and looking to the ceiling.
"And she knows that if she acts the way he wants then she's safe. She's keeping Ryan and Evelyn safe too. The issue is that a part of her might not always be acting because a part of her still longs for the Homelander she fell in love with, despite the fact that it was all an act."
Annie shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "This is fucked up," she mumbled.
"World is, sister," Butcher replied.
"So what? You think she really loves him? I know she doesn't. She's told me she doesn't," Alex said. "And we can't give up trying to get her away from him and bringing Homelander to justice. There has to be a way."
"Yeah. The issue is we just don't know what that is," Annie said. "Either way, we keep fighting, not just for Victoria, but for Vought and Homelander to be held accountable for what they did. They need to answer for their crimes."
"And they will," Butcher said, knowing that he would do everything in his power to make sure that happened.
…
The trial seemed to drag on for longer than Homelander had been anticipating. He was growing tired with all of It. it had been weeks and each day had felt like a drag. He'd wake up most of them and get ready to go to court. It was only as he dressed when he noticed the grey hairs and he had a minor panic attack. He was going grey and that meant he was aging. That terrified him. He knew that he was in his forties and he'd heard of people having a mid-life crisis, but he wasn't like other people. He didn't think that this could happen, but clearly it was happening.
Victoria was twelve years younger than he was and he knew that was quite an age gap. Some people had commented on it when they had first gotten together, but it had never been something that they had thought about, but that had been because Homelander was always the one who thought he couldn't really age.
"Are you alright?"
Homelander finished tugging his briefs up and onto his hips as Victoria left the walk-in wardrobe, clasping her necklace around her neck. She was dressed already, a plum dress with an a-line neck on her figure. She arched her brow as Homelander turned back around and looked to her.
"Am I going grey?" he questioned from her.
Victoria arched her brow and then looked from his hair and down past his stomach. "Where?" she wondered and Homelander rolled his eyes as he followed her gaze.
"Both places," he said to her.
"Want me to look or have you just found one?" she wondered.
"I keep finding them," Homelander said. "And then needing to pee more often. Have you noticed that?"
"I've heard you get up more often in the night to use the bathroom," Victoria said and he knew she wasn't going to sugarcoat things for him. She never did. "I mean, you know you're in your forties. There's no shame in a grey hair. I'm half expecting one to appear at some time soon."
"You're still so young, Victoria," Homelander said.
"So are you," she replied. "Come here and I'll take a look."
Homelander did as she had asked him and he watched in amusement as she went to stand on the end of the bed, kneeling down on it. Homelander sat down next to her and she leaned over him, her fingers moving through his hair and looking amongst the blonde strands for any grey hairs. Homelanders fingers laced together on his lap and then he almost winced as he felt Victoria tug a hair from his head.
"You're not going to yell at me if I tell you that there is one, are you?" Victoria checked with him, but at the same time she was holding the hair up in between the two of them. Homelander shook his head slowly and a defeated sigh escaped him. "But it's not like you can't dye your hair…down there…not sure how that works."
Victoria dropped the hair from her fingertips and placed a hand on his shoulder, using it to stabilise her standing up. She reached for a pair of heels that she'd kicked off underneath the dressing table and slipped them onto her feet. She'd already taken Evie to nursery and Ryan had gone down for supe training.
Homelander flopped back on the bed and looked to the ceiling. "Grey hairs…why is this happening to me?"
"I hate to tell you, but it happens to almost everyone," Victoria said, looking down to him as he laid on the bed, legs dangling over the edge of it. She folded her arms over her chest. "Come on, John, it's not that bad. In the scheme of everything, a grey hair is fine. We need to get to court."
"Christ…grey hairs," he complained and Victoria rolled her eyes at his dramatics. "And the needing to pee? I mean, for fucks sake. You know I searched what that means…chances are I have an enlarged prostate. Me. Did you know that effects most men over forty?"
"I'd heard of it," Victoria said to him. "But it doesn't mean anything and you know that. If you want, I can make an appointment with Doctor Jacobs and he can take a look?"
"Absolutely not."
"There's no shame in getting a medical opinion," Victoria assured him.
"No," Homelander said.
"Alright," Victoria said, holding her hands up defensively and knowing that there was no point in pushing him on it. "Either way, we need to go or we're going to be late for court and you don't want that."
"I'm coming," Homelander said, his mind still focused on the fact that he was aging and what that meant for the future. A part of him felt unhappy. Whenever he was in meetings for The Seven or in court, he felt unhappy. He could do anything and people cheered for him and he thought that would be enough, but it wasn't. It didn't feel like it was enough.
"Apparently the trial should be done by lunch today. They're hoping to get through cross-examination according to Jeremy. Personally, I think they're dragging this out," Victoria confessed, sitting on the stool at the dressing table and crossing her arms over her lap. "Then again, that would make sense. The longer that this stays in the public eye then the more chance the DA has to try and find cracks in the case."
"You think that's what's happening?" he asked and she watched him tug his socks onto his feet.
"I think it's a clever play," Victoria said with a nod of her head. "Either way, we'll work through it. I promise you that we'll work through it. Anyway, what do you have planned when we get back this afternoon? I was thinking of taking Evelyn out into the gardens…it's quite warm outside."
"As much as I would prefer to join you than discuss Seven business, I've got a meeting at three," Homelander said to his wife. "But I do have to tell you that next week…I think it's looking likely that we need to go to Singer and Neuman's event. The election is looking more and more likely to go to them and I need to go there for an endorsement of them. The shareholders are insisting to try and stabilise the market."
"We have to go?"
"I was going to take Ryan with me too. I think it's important for him to be in public a bit more…you know…portray us as a family," Homelander said and Victoria wondered if he had any intention of getting dressed quicker considering that they were due in the car in ten minutes.
"You sure she isn't going to pop our heads?" Victoria checked and Homelander chuckled at that, shaking his head.
"She wouldn't dare," he assured her. "I know you won't want to go, but we have to. It's important and after that…well…you won't need to see her for quite some time."
"Promise?"
"Promise," Homelander assured her. "And I have another thing I've been planning."
"Can you tell me on the way to the car because I don't want to be late," Victoria said, checking the watch on her wrist. But Homelander shook his head and held his hand to her. "John, come on."
"We'll be on time," he said to her and she relented, moving towards him. She let him man handle her until she was practically straddling his lap, her skirt awkwardly tight around her thighs as she took hold of his bare shoulders and he clasped his hands on her waist. "Apparently the trial should be done in a few weeks' time according to Jeremy and I've had Ashley find a place for us to go…secluded…villa on the beach on some remote Greek island…swimming pool…just you, me, Ryan and Evelyn for a week."
"You were serious about that?"
"Of course I was serious about it," Homelander said. "I want to give you this, Vicky…just us…our family together and away from all of this chaos for a short while."
Victoria wasn't entirely sure if she wanted that. At least if Homelander was away from Vought then perhaps he might have a chance to calm down after the trial. She also had faith in herself to be able to survive a week alone with him and the kids. At least at the Tower she had distractions. She did charity work. She was expected to perform.
"I figured you'd want somewhere hidden and private where no one would bother us," Homelander said to her.
"Do you have any pictures?" Victoria wondered and Homelander chuckled.
"I'll get Ashley to send you some," he assured her.
"Thank you," Victoria said and he kissed her chastely, moving a hand to brush her hair behind her ear. Pulling back, she watched him for a moment and then checked her watch again. "Now we really need to get going."
"We'll be fine for a few minutes," Homelander said to her and she wondered what he was doing before she caught on. He trailed his fingers along her thigh, slipping up the inside of her leg and towards her underwear. Victoria reached for his wrist.
"We don't have time," she said to him and shook her head.
So far, she'd managed to avoid being intimate with him since the day on the sofa after her shoulder had been injured. Homelander shook his head slowly, his bare chest brushing against the material of her dress. Her grip on his wrist didn't stop him as he slipped his fingers beneath her underwear and she gasped at the feeling of him pressing against her. Closing her eyes, Victoria exhaled a shaky breath as he toyed with her slowly, taking his time in getting her worked up. She wanted to push him away from her and tell him no, but she couldn't. A part of her was nervous about what he might say if she did. And so she closed her eyes and buried her face against his neck, moaning into his skin as she felt him harden against her stomach.
"I love you," he whispered into her ear, kissing her neck gently as he moved his other hand from her waist, cupping her breast through her clothes. She groaned against his neck as he squeezed it in his palm and her hips moved against his fingers, seeking relief as he teased her, fingers moving languidly against her. "Tell me you love me, Victoria."
"John," she whispered his name and he shook his head.
"Tell me," he urged from her.
"I…I love you," she forced the words out. "Please…"
"I've got you, sweetheart. I've always got you. Let go for me," he urged from her and he felt her tightening around him as she clawed at his shoulders and her faced pressed tightly against his neck, her warm breath panting against his shoulder as her moans echoed in the room. "Let go, Victoria…for me…I know you want to…let go," he said and on his final command, he felt her body shake against his as she slumped against his front. Homelander's lips arched and he managed to kiss the side of her head. "Good girl," he whispered to her.
Victoria's breathing remained heavy and she felt him run his hand down her thigh, her underwear sticking to her as he clasped hold of her leg, his other hand running down her side to her hip. She turned her head to the side against his shoulder and Homelander managed to peer down at her, seeing the red tint in her cheeks and drinking in the way her lips were slightly parted. He knew that he still had the power to turn her into mess and it elated him. Her body still reacted to him.
"I suppose we'd best get ready, huh?" Homelander checked with her and she scoffed.
"You think?" she asked and he chuckled as he watched her move to her feet on shaky legs. She stumbled slightly in her heels and he watched her tug at the skirt of her dress. Her hair was mussed up from where she'd pressed her head against his shoulder and her underwear was uncomfortable against her skin.
"Perhaps a week away is just the thing we need," Homelander commented, thinking of all the possible things that could happen when they were alone.
….
A/N: As always, would love to know your thoughts!