26
With the ring on the finger… the bond was complete. Ianto did not feel the need for a ceremony or any palaver as that night alone in the Black had been his moment but apparently Jack did and Iant found himself swept along in the wedding Jack wanted. After all, Ianto got what he wanted so… go for it.
First, Jack decided to have Owen and Toshiko as their witnesses and have a small affair at the Legal Courts. Just singing the paperwork and finalizing things legally so they were bonded, wed and the kids were now shared.
The party was the thing. Apparently, the party was supposed to be big. The 'Function' as Jack kept calling it while explaining to Ianto that traditionally the neighbouring camps came to party as well. Ianto wondered if there would be any room for him after seeing the insane flower arrangements and such that were being specially flown in from the Gariss Garden planet on a refrigerated Freighter. Christ. It was insane what Jack was paying for these things, but when he explained that his parents had them... their parents had them… Boeshanian fucking tradition… blah blah… Ianto had shrugged and agreed.
Ianto wanted to have the Function at home but again he was overruled and instead one of the large, covered flight bay for repairs was used, covered in weird blue and white cloth called… wait… tulle… from anther planet. Ianto suspected a Pleasure Planet given the look of it and the fact John Hart kept rubbing it in his hands with a look of delight… and then the flowers on the tables.
The Hypervodka was flowing and Ianto declined, still occasionally breastfeeding on demand and besides… Jack was having enough for both of them.
Food?
Don't get Ianto started on the food but again… Jack wanted it. All Boeshanian too. Not a single Welsh thing there. Ianto had noticed. Clearly Jack hadn't and as they stood being toasted it was Rhiannon who called out "Lechyd da!"
"What?" Jack asked, "Did you just say Yaki Dah?"
"Jack. It's Welsh."
"Oh, so it all sounds like a cat vomiting in the middle of the night. Got it" Jack said turning away from Ianto who stood there with his cheeks flaring into a blush. Now, someone who did not know him might think that was a flush of embarrassment or shame. No. Rhiannon saw and with a sharp intake of breath started for him as his entire face began to colour, the anger now on full display as he gave a low growl.
Jack felt more than heard the anger and turned back in surprise to find Ianto's eyes completely black, his face red and the clear anger directed at him filing the room with heat. "What?"
"Jack. We are of Welsh descent. We are very proud of this, it is something from Old Earth we carry with us. We speak Welsh… my children speak Welsh. Jayden spoke Welsh and you do realize Ianto will teach his daughter Welsh too…. Right?" Rhiannon said slowly.
"But it is such a silly, old fashioned language. Like… throat clearing, tongue slapping and…. And…." Jack noticed another set of eyes now also black and boring into him as David stood nearby with stephen, the boys holding hands as David glared.
"Jack. Have I ever... EVER…. said I am sick and tired of hearing about Boeshanian traditions? Have I objected to the fact you have made this entire thing a Boeshanian thing? Not a single Welsh touch anywhere?" Ianto asked, his hand flapping about as he looked around and realized what he was saying "I have just wed you, given you a child… And you still insult me?"
"I was not insulting you" Jack spluttered "I was saying… Welsh are weird."
Ianto grinned "Jack… I am Welsh."
"No, you're not. You're mine so you are now Boeshanian by right" Jack said like he was giving him amazing news "Baby… you are now one of mine."
Ianto blinked slowly and took a deep breath before letting it out slowly, counting in his head. Loudly. Jack heard it and frowned, finally catching on that Ianto was beyond angry right now.
"Is this a baby hormone thing?"
Even John gave a sharp intake of breath with horror, the bottle of Hypervodka he was offering Jack now frozen as he wondered if he had been giving him too much. Jack looked around "What. Come on. I am told after my birth I was impossible for a while. I mean… I was upset sure but I know I was a little… touchy."
"OK. You are on the edge of getting your arse kicked" Ianto warned a finger waging at him "I know you are in high spirts and feeling a little excitable but if you continue to insult me and my heritage while rubbing your own in my face like it's royalty or something... I will lose my ever-loving fucking mind."
"what" Jack turned to Owen "What did I do?"
"You insulted him and his ancestors." Owen said with his hands on Jack's shoulders as he looked him in the eye, like you might explain something to a child "You just stuck your own dick in a blender and hit the button mate. I suggest, pulling out slowly to minimize the damage."
"What?"
"Jack." Ianto said then paused and sighed "Never mind. You are drunk, stupid and really… right now… bloody infuriating. I shall forgive you, and I shall let this pass as I know when sober you ill be horrified and agree that I was right in asking that the Hypervodka be cut with juice. So… am going to take our child home to bed. You stay, continue to be an arse and maybe with me and me horrible Welshness gone, you can have fun."
"What?" Jack turned to Owen again "What did I do?"
"It's OK mate. We have it all recorded for you to watch tomorrow in horrible, startling sober reality." Owen patted his shoulders and shook his head "Like a fucking dog you are. so excitable and happy to play with the stick that your tail wags, then you ignore the stick to lick your own arse."
"What?"
Ianto knew Jack would have the headache of the century tomorrow and the food hadn't been all that bad so… he let it go and return home to watch their little one sleep in the crib.
.
.
"Ianto?"
Ianit watched the weary man stagger into room and collapse in a chair. He then asked "Good morning Jack. Sleep well?"
"Argghh. I woke up in Owen's bathtub. The bathtub. What the fuck happened?"
"Well, it is all recorded so when you feel better he can play you the highlights of your fuckery" Ianto smiled sweetly and Jack felt a strangeness in the air.
"What did I do?"
"Oh… lots. But I forgive you. I just need a while to get over the extreme racism displayed. Really… you need to learn to meter your thoughts… especially when you say them out loud."
Jack was not sure what he had done but the 'racism' comment threw him so he went to the on who would tell him the truth.
"Dad, you insulted Ianto, Welsh people in general and then accused him of having Baby Brain … he was upset with your nasty words." Stephen rolled his eyes "I swear I wa so embarrassed. You said that Ianto belonged to you now."
"What?" Jack gaped "I didn't."
"You said…now you are married he is Boeshanian and you sort of said he needed to act like it." Stephen grimaced.
"Oh shit. No. Did I?"
"Full on Twatmode as Uncle Owen put it." The boy nodded sagely "David was so upset, I had to take him outside for a cuddle. You insulted him too ya know… being Welsh."
"Oh god. I went off at your mother's wedding too… accused everyone of hating me because she was from better stock. Oh god. Hypervodka. Why the hell do I still drink it when I turn into a dickhead."
"Well… look how well it goes for Captain Hart… I have no idea" the boy said with a bland face that showed Jack how deep the dickheadedness had gone.
Oh no.
Jak went to find Ianto to apologize, no matter him much he said he had forgiven him.
And he vowed to NEVER drink that stuff again.